You just described my entire childhood and life. I am the youngest in my family. I was taught to be obedient to everyone in the family. Obedience to my family meant that I had no right and I had to do whatever they told me to do. It was slavery as far as I am concerned. I have no idea what real love is. I am finally learning to love myself. I am not people pleasing anymore. I thought I had to earn love. How sick is that??? Thank you for sharing your life stories. I know I am not alone in my feelings anymore.❤
Wow @ L Lakes You are describing my childhood of. OBEDIENCE!!! to my father the narcissist.. No wonder I attracted an ex husband also narc who would always say to me...SUBMIT! Now both of these men are dead. Thank God for channels like this one. We are not alone!😊🌈
all this time I thought there was something not right in me or something that I'm doing wrong that my father always intimidated me......he straight away stone walls me Everytime.....now I feel like I had enough of this family .... I just want go somewhere without these people and I just to be happy.....
Normalizing toxicity: I’m beyond that now. It’s been 2 years since I cut off my narc father and my ex narc best friend. Every other cut gets easier and easier. You hit this nail the head. When I was sleep to self-love and abuse I thought it was completely normal to be guilt tripped, for my father to strip my manhood, for him and my friend to gaslight me and change reality, to continue fellowship as a sign that I truly forgave, to not fight for my truth! Nah, I’m free of all that! That was the catalyst for me to take the true role of being muself and being misunderstood and I love it. Following my intuition and boundaries and my inner voice is bringing peace! People are questioning my sanity and are saying that I’m holding a grudge and that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m just not associating with people who are toxic and choose to remain so w/ no accountability beyond a surface level.
@Ends With Me I couldn't exactly put words to how I felt but your statement of not being around toxic people who do not want to take accountability is very helpful for me. Thank you!
It’s for this reason that it took me 51 years 1 month and 1 day to get away from the last 1. The last 1 was also the 1st. (From the crib) These fiends made me very sick for 1/2 my life and I never connected this “normal” to me treatment to all the various illnesses.
You're videos are soooo my life with my Narc dad who i went no contact with for 10 years n now just past away. He would stone wall me or suck d life out of me for supply all d time. So when i feel a narc trying to drain me....I put up my wall high! My goal is to attract enjoyable conversations with healthy people. My dads death is really showing me my core wounds. Glad i found ur channel😊🌈🌸
Girl if you not doing counseling your missing your calling...you have excellent videos and you help a lot of people, people like you that have been through it should be therapists, that’s why you went through what you went through, keep shedding light!
That is so true. Although I cannot trace it to childhood, I was with a narc for over a decade, and it got to a point where if he wasn't yelling at me I felt like something was wrong, and I'd poke and prod until he yelled at me, hung up on me, etc and I'd almost feel at ease. It's twisted. I never recognized it so clearly that I used to do that and this video explains it so well, like I think it became the norm after so many years with him and I felt like the poor treatment made me feel comfort.
The final point you made would be useful for me to hear your take more about. Just as I started acting on the narc abuse knowledge I had slowly built up, some cousins came into my life. Having next to no family left I welcomed them. But the imbalance in power dynamics and blatant cruelty started coming out. I've cut contact but I still wonder what their sudden appearance in my life was all about. (Backstory: sis is the golden child and narc mum has moved in, dad I'm slowly trying to build a real and honest relationship with, I was the scapegoat, extended family have never been a real part of my life, in law's are estranged as mother-in-law is a gregarious narc) Just subscribed. Your style is so conversational that I feel like I'm taking with a close friend who is telling me the necessary harsh truths but in a caring and way. Its hard to hear that we want to be abused on some level but I know there's the comfoet we get from familiarity I guess but for me it's more. Let me know if anyone else experiences this too. I actually feel more alive when I get into the things that caused me my trauma and I like that feeling of being so alive. Before any healing (which is HARD WORK to be sure) these were the time points when I would actually feel at all. Going to watch all your videos now 😘
I hear you; however, I have found that as I am healing the wounds in my soul & getting stronger emotionally through an understanding of narcissism & codependency and the bible, that both toxic "emotionally unhealthy" & non-toxic "emotionally healthy" individuals are attracted to me and I am better able to not elect to get into relationships with those who are toxic. I personally think that throughout our lifetime both types of individuals will be attracted to us for whatever reason.
Hi Syd, what's the difference between when someone does stonewall behavior and silent treatment? You're describing my second oldest and middle siblenemy's lol sisters/enemy's.Take care and thanks.
You just described my entire childhood and life. I am the youngest in my family. I was taught to be obedient to everyone in the family. Obedience to my family meant that I had no right and I had to do whatever they told me to do. It was slavery as far as I am concerned. I have no idea what real love is. I am finally learning to love myself. I am not people pleasing anymore. I thought I had to earn love. How sick is that??? Thank you for sharing your life stories. I know I am not alone in my feelings anymore.❤
Wow @ L Lakes You are describing my childhood of. OBEDIENCE!!! to my father the narcissist.. No wonder I attracted an ex husband also narc who would always say to me...SUBMIT! Now both of these men are dead. Thank God for channels like this one. We are not alone!😊🌈
all this time I thought there was something not right in me or something that I'm doing wrong that my father always intimidated me......he straight away stone walls me Everytime.....now I feel like I had enough of this family .... I just want go somewhere without these people and I just to be happy.....
Normalizing toxicity: I’m beyond that now. It’s been 2 years since I cut off my narc father and my ex narc best friend. Every other cut gets easier and easier.
You hit this nail the head. When I was sleep to self-love and abuse I thought it was completely normal to be guilt tripped, for my father to strip my manhood, for him and my friend to gaslight me and change reality, to continue fellowship as a sign that I truly forgave, to not fight for my truth!
Nah, I’m free of all that! That was the catalyst for me to take the true role of being muself and being misunderstood and I love it. Following my intuition and boundaries and my inner voice is bringing peace! People are questioning my sanity and are saying that I’m holding a grudge and that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’m just not associating with people who are toxic and choose to remain so w/ no accountability beyond a surface level.
Good for you !!!! You’ve created healthy boundaries with yourself! I love the progress
@Ends With Me I couldn't exactly put words to how I felt but your statement of not being around toxic people who do not want to take accountability is very helpful for me. Thank you!
Your episodes are SO informative and 100% trueeee!!! I can relate to everything your saying...
Wow thank you ❤️
It’s for this reason that it took me 51 years 1 month and 1 day to get away from the last 1. The last 1 was also the 1st. (From the crib) These fiends made me very sick for 1/2 my life and I never connected this “normal” to me treatment to all the various illnesses.
You're videos are soooo my life with my Narc dad who i went no contact with for 10 years n now just past away. He would stone wall me or suck d life out of me for supply all d time. So when i feel a narc trying to drain me....I put up my wall high! My goal is to attract enjoyable conversations with healthy people. My dads death is really showing me my core wounds. Glad i found ur channel😊🌈🌸
Girl if you not doing counseling your missing your calling...you have excellent videos and you help a lot of people, people like you that have been through it should be therapists, that’s why you went through what you went through, keep shedding light!
Powerful! Thank you 🙏🏾
That is so true. Although I cannot trace it to childhood, I was with a narc for over a decade, and it got to a point where if he wasn't yelling at me I felt like something was wrong, and I'd poke and prod until he yelled at me, hung up on me, etc and I'd almost feel at ease. It's twisted. I never recognized it so clearly that I used to do that and this video explains it so well, like I think it became the norm after so many years with him and I felt like the poor treatment made me feel comfort.
Hit the nail on the head!! Great video!
The final point you made would be useful for me to hear your take more about. Just as I started acting on the narc abuse knowledge I had slowly built up, some cousins came into my life. Having next to no family left I welcomed them. But the imbalance in power dynamics and blatant cruelty started coming out. I've cut contact but I still wonder what their sudden appearance in my life was all about.
(Backstory: sis is the golden child and narc mum has moved in, dad I'm slowly trying to build a real and honest relationship with, I was the scapegoat, extended family have never been a real part of my life, in law's are estranged as mother-in-law is a gregarious narc)
Just subscribed. Your style is so conversational that I feel like I'm taking with a close friend who is telling me the necessary harsh truths but in a caring and way. Its hard to hear that we want to be abused on some level but I know there's the comfoet we get from familiarity I guess but for me it's more. Let me know if anyone else experiences this too. I actually feel more alive when I get into the things that caused me my trauma and I like that feeling of being so alive. Before any healing (which is HARD WORK to be sure) these were the time points when I would actually feel at all.
Going to watch all your videos now 😘
I hear you; however, I have found that as I am healing the wounds in my soul & getting stronger emotionally through an understanding of narcissism & codependency and the bible, that both toxic "emotionally unhealthy" & non-toxic "emotionally healthy" individuals are attracted to me and I am better able to not elect to get into relationships with those who are toxic. I personally think that throughout our lifetime both types of individuals will be attracted to us for whatever reason.
Well said, thanks for sharing ❤️
@@discoveringthenarcissistic7666 Thanks. This was another GREAT video. Looking forward to your next one!
Excellent video🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Thank you 😊
Just found your channel and all I can say is Thank You.
You’re very welcome 😊
Great video
Very well put I also love teal swans videos on this issue
❤⚘
Hi Syd, what's the difference between when someone does stonewall behavior and silent treatment? You're describing my second oldest and middle siblenemy's lol sisters/enemy's.Take care and thanks.
Um, this is not always true.
This is so true. 👍