Stop Being Pathetic. -Jocko Willink (From The Underground)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 3 มิ.ย. 2024
- Jocko Underground 036
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The True Importance of Controlling emotions.
Value of pull-ups.
Balancing Your Life.
How to deal with Self Doubt
Managing the hierarchy.
Working in an environment filled with slackers... again
Join the conversation on Twitter/Instagram: @jockowillink @echocharles
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16 year old me needed to hear this. 40 year old me still needed to hear this. Thank you Jocko & Echo.
Im 55 And Needed This !!! Sad that the Family Unit is not Valued and we are seeing the affects today from years of division !!!!
Me too! Want to share the Victorious Gospel that all things will eventually restored, but church would excommunicate me (don't care and would be better off) but concerned they may split my family( to get my wife to think I'm a bad guy)as we have a young child together.
Yea 54 wish I had this kind of discipline when I was younger-better late than never
Hell yeah brother.
Jocko, you helped me overcome a breakup, and instead of killing myself, I got better and stronger as a man. Got back out there and started my own family, now I'm a Dad.
Thanks for telling a little of your story. Well done on overcoming appropriately
KUDOS!! Keep working, brother.
That's what a real man do!
You were gonna kill yourself over a breakup? Bitch please
@@ziaali319 Everyone is different, we all have a different background so we respond different to situtations. But one thing we can all do is learn to be more empathic and supportive to each others.
We are in this beautiful new age where those of us who didn’t have good role models, fathers, etc. as children can seek out men like these to make ourselves better. I’m grateful.
love this comment
Roger that!
I'm a 44 year old woman learning something new every day from guys like this! So grateful!
I liked what JP Sears says about Narcissism vs playing the victim role.
If i label someone a narcissist it puts me in the victim role.
Yes I've had bad things happen to me in the past but I am a survivor not staying a victim.
On one spectrum we have Jocko on another we got Andrew.
I don't hate either, respect for both.
I may not agree with everything Andrew says.
They both speak the truth, but Andrew's controversial.
Just comparing and analysing data.
I hope a war doesn't start here.
Oh also David and Jocko seem to be cuts of the same cloth.
@@61814_The most important distinction you made there is “different spectrum”.
Andrew Tate is not a positive role model. If you think so then you’re probably a teenager, which is understandable. If you’re an adult you have some serious catching up to do, at least if you care about growing as a man.
Andrew is not cut from the same cloth, he’s a sex trafficker who loses his temper all the time and let’s strangers and their perceptions of him control him.
When the majority of people in your life get overly emotional about almost everything, it makes you look like the odd one, in my experience. You get called things like “robot” or in the corporate world; “disconnected” or “slow to action”.
The corporate world is everything toxic of society amplified times 1000.
It has happened to me plenty of times. They expect me to react the same way they do. Like I need an "Ego check" or something. I don't. I just don't all emotionally attached to problems.
Yeah people start taking their anger out on you if you don't act accordingly... To their means of accordingly.
@@horchatadiver hypocrisy
I was a 911 operator for a decade. I've been to both ends of that spectrum.
Being the guy with a poker face while I hear cries of pain and panic; considered superhuman while on the job,
And also being that guy who's so passionate about an ethical question that I'm frustrated at how everyone around me has the emotionless blank stare.
Courage isn't always silent. Sometimes it's about speaking up, not down. Especially in a world that embraces totalitarianism more and more.
This helps me remember to check my frustration when my 8 and 6 year old are being 8 and 6 year olds. Other day my daughter was yelling at her brother but he was ignoring her. Each yell she got louder and louder. I popped in the room and told her that yelling over and over isn’t going to help get him to listen to you. She tuned without missing a beat and said, “you do it to me” felt like a knife in the heart. Sat down and took ownership of poor way I had approached her in the past and we agreed to work on it together.
Hope it goes well!
You just changed the kind of mother she's going to be one day.
Good job, brother.
The fact that you are self aware and psychologically healthy enough to notice she was absolutely right and you have the will to change. That means there’s hope for you and your kids having a healthy and functional life. My family has such bad Personality Disorders and are so dysfunctional that it’s never their fault or they’re always the victims. They can do no wrong and the other person can only do wrong. That’s a recipe for a dysfunctional up bringing and perpetuates the generational curses of trauma and no growth. You sound like a good father.
If every parent was like you, this world would be a lot better place.
Good dad!
I look up to Jocko And Echo like they're My Dad and Uncle,lol. I've truly been turning into a person I never knew I could even be with the advice of MEN like these two. Thank you for being here for the ones of us who don't have "Good" Dad's or fathers to look up to.
Thank You BOTH for your Service 🫂 On and Off the Battlefield. Yall are saving lives and don't even know it.
Same. My dad did horrible with me.
@@jamisonbernhardt3310 you guys had a dad?
Im just making jokes, not trying to one up, but yes there is a lack of strong male leaders in the country.
When I realized that being weak and being kind aren’t the same thing my whole life changed.
There's something I learned about emotional control. The *only* way to learn how to "control you emotions" is by putting yourself under situations that stimulates such emotions constantly, consistently, during a long period of time. Jocko is able to be calm and collected under stressful situations because that's what he's been doing his entire career.
Knowing about emotional control is not enough. We have to pile effort upon effort, and put ourselves under rough situations, and learn how to enjoy that.
That sounds really difficult
@@TsoiIzAlive Only if you make it too big. Just focus on the next step.
That’s easy to say, but that’s basically my constant state as a parent of a toddler, and I struggle to control my emotions with her so much.
That's not the only way andrew it's not even that great of a way.
@@effjesse_ that’s true. It’s a lot of practice. Overwhelmingly so, sometimes.
You are also correct that it’s important to be wary of positive emotion. It also has its own pitfalls, especially if you are counting on it.
As someone who is very calm I do realize my fatal flaw is that I stockpile resentment, which is anger in passive mode that might blow up in the future. That's where the stoic philosophy comes in handy, It's been helping me let go on the things that are absolutely out of my control without fretting and taking effective actions to manage what I can manage. Emotions should be treated as mere signals but never a call to action
@david dunn Exactly! I try to keep this in mind. Never let your emotions go above your thinking.
@david dunn spot on, I was previously doing everything that is possible to avoid conflict, unconsciously conflict made me feel like a bad person, so I would rather make the compromise and not assert myself. Now it's different and I can see how powerful it is to either assert myself and secure my position or drop the whole situation right out of the gate without much fuss. Whatever outcome it is I get to keep myself respect and dignity without being uncivil about the whole thing
@david dunn I would say that from a young age people learn subconscious patterns for conflict resolution and they stick to it for the rest of their lives.
I'm going to simplify (life isn't necessarily described in white and black) but usually people tend to fall into two categories: either the opportunistic or the people pleaser. And trust me being a people pleaser for a big chunk of my life I know for a fact that that it is corrosive inwardly and outwardly, it is as much as toxic as a dickhead who only want their piece of the cake with complete disregard for the other parties involved. I guess I grew up to be the opposite of that, I was too concerned and tried as much as I could to not look like that self-centered asshole we all have encountered in our lives at some point, unknowingly as a matter of fact I shot myself in the leg and didn't give myself more room for growth and personality development.
Now I can say I'm in a more of a secure position and try to keep everything balanced.
Do you know the serenity prayer?
Nice comment, the « fun » thing is that the biological nature of emotion is a call to action, what a challenge
The biggest part about this is realizing you are not your emotions.. you detach from them instead of suppressing them.
Jocko: “they loosing their mind.”
Also Jocko: *holding a knife*
Everyone in the area: run❤
I lost my son years ago. Not sure how to explain it but after that event things inside just became numb in a way. I still enjoy life and all but when it comes to things like the deaths of my parents and others, I'm just not really as moved as I guess I should be. I've heard comments get back to me that I'm cold and such. But I will say this, I have learned to appreciate the numbness and not having to deal with the sorrows that many have to deal with, I guess when it comes to sadness I feel like I've already hit the bottom. Nowhere to go but up right? I will say this I cherish every day with my family now. Every fkn second.
Good for you man, how hard or simple it may sound but its all perspective and experience, "what doesnt kill you"
It is impressive that you have this perspective on something so terrible
Never really thought of it as a perspective but I guess looking in through the window, that’s a great way to put it. Well said my friend.
@@Tatted-ne7tu In the end there is nothing in life to be feared, only understood. The good or bad story is a story we create in our own minds, its a perspective
I feel the same! Im with you on this ride my friend. Im a 1964er..you 69?
@@tassobear Yep 1969 kid, turn 54 in 30 days actually. Holy crap I'm gettin old.
This time is the best time to start becoming strong, and stop being pathetic. Believe me, if you start training physically, not only it helps physically, it also helps a lot with your mental health, you start feeling more humble inside of you, you understand better the difficulties of life by starting feeling physical pain. You start to understand strong people and why they do not show their emotions.
Well said
Life is good when you learn to control your emotions, especially when having to make life decisions. The first goal in a competitive situation is to get the other party into an emotional state, get under their skin, this leads them to make poor decisions. Keep up the great work brothers.
I needed this. Thanks.
Yes!
Ya this was good
I can only speak for myself, but I came to realise that anger gave me a perverse sense of control in positions where I otherwise felt helpless or resentful: "I can reassert my will if people can see I'm willing and able to burn down the whole thing. If I can't win, nobody can".
Of course the reality is that a scorched earth approach will damage you, your reputation, and your mission.
Master yourself, and you'll master the situation.
Never be afraid of a scorched earth approach. It’s 100% the Marxist left playbook. Cause chaos and gain power through the chaos. The silent majority and comfortable will submit not wanting to “scorch earth”. Every communist uprising took this approach. And Hitler did it in France.
The only winning move is not to play
You should still be able to burn everything to the ground. Just in case.
@@jeremybrimmer1990 you must be French. Not playing is called surrender you donut
@@rogerc23 there you go then
As someone who has had a hard time controlling their emotions. The only thing that helped was taking full control of my schedule. Jocko is the same way. Go to bed and wake up at the same time as much as reasonable. Have a routine at the end and beginning of your day. If you control your schedule your emotions become easier to control.
That's key to me. Don't focus on how catastrophic it is or how good or bad it is. Focus on what can be done about it. It's not about dismissing feelings I don't think. It's about keeping your head in the fight.
I have so much respect for Jocko.. I love how level headed he is
People call me weak when I call out senior enlisted folks who scream at their troops. I see it as an inability to control your emotions and speak to people in a professional manner. I immediately lose respect and trust in someone who is constantly yelling at other people in the workplace.
Irony : the people that could benefit most from this, wouldn't watch a video like this
Man Jocko when I heard your first sentence about these groups acting against you and your brand I had some choice words I was going to use in this chat for them. Then you started about emotional control and I realized I have made some progress but still have work to do. We support you. We support your message. Thank you sir!
I wish I learned this 30 years ago. When I was younger I let emotions dictate my actions, never in a productive way. Don’t sweat the small stuff
Same here. It has cost me dearly.
Thanks for this advice from one of our most disciplined, controlled and experienced heroes. Ego and emotional control are important for yourself and those around you. Great for present and future decision making.
Man I feel like this upload was for me! I’ve had 2 awful days and I’ve questioned myself alot recently.
Thanks jocko and echo, I needed this.
I’ve seen this In practice in BJJ. You get in a tough position but you don’t push through with rage. You are concerned but you gotta keep your head. I’ve seen so many guys work their way out of a tough situation in BJJ when they work through it instead of panicking.
Such a fan of Jocko and all he has to share. Extreme Ownership!!
GENERAL DAY ....ITS NOT GONNS FAIL 😢
“Give me a little bit more detail… What’s happening?” What a perfect way to react!! We’re often so quick to jump to {often inaccurate} conclusions. When we give ourselves and others a bit of grace and space, situations are resolve much more smoothly.
Jocko drops another nugget of gold here, i keep becoming a better person just by listening to him
This is why I love your podcast, Jocko. Being level headed is hard, but you have clear tactics for controlling your emotions and those tactics have helped me in my own military career. I can also honestly say that Extreme Ownership changed my life and helped my relationship with my fiancé. Thank you so much. 👏🏼
This is awesome Jocko and Echo. Once we get emotional anything that happens after the moment can magnify the situation and then the emotions. Without sufficient information or exploration, things can explode and wrong decisions can be made or the right decisions can be made late. I am currently dealing with an emotional situation and I have seen how anything that happens in that area simply magnifies the issue and I often go on the defensive instead of exploring and understanding. Fortunately, I have created a strong alter-ego that calls me out on this. He says "Steven you are overthinking again, over-emphasizing, overcompensating, over-assuming, and preparing for an imaginary battle"....This podcast has just clarified things for me. Thanks to you from the above ground. Love you guys and your mission.
Thankyou so much for your content Jocko, the knowledge you have given not only me but many others is priceless.
Jocko, you’re the positive male influence I’ve needed. Got my shit together enough to enroll in a treatment program in AZ, a couple of states away from where I am now. Thank you. I wish you were my father, I know you’d tell me how proud you are!
nah. he'd just shrug and say 'good' 😝
keep at all the same dude!
Awesome brother, I had to move to Nashville for a treatment center and I ended up staying here after I completed the program. It was the best thing I ever did. I would absolutely have ended up dead or locked up if I’d kept messing up.
Hey man, I am not your dad, but I am a dad. Just wanted to tell you I am proud of you! Way to not quit on yourself! Keep grinding! It wont be easy, but you are capable
First time I've actually taken a minute to listen to Jacko and everything he says makes total sense and rings true to me. Mistakes get made w emotional responses 💯 percent.
Thank you Jocko keep on it! you are so on point all the time such a positive for this planet. Thank you for your mindfulness!
I have been having a hard time, you words have helped me more than I can put into words. I wanted to finally take the time to say thank you, sincerely.
I refuse to be pathetic
Nope too late
If you live life like its a simulation like 80% of all people in the US, you're probably kind of pathetic. We've been domesticated
Nothing wrong with being pathetic
Good
@@phililpb tru
I have many times gotten angry in personal, social, and work situations (almost entirely for good reason) I then end up being the bad guy who suffers the consequence whilst the other person becomes the victim of sorts (never violently) I wish I had listened to this perspective along time ago.
In the past I lashed out and flew off the handle. Unfortunately if caused a distance between my daughters and myself and I hate that. I wish I would have heard this 40 years ago.
heard that
I used to be emotional in a way where i can easily get triggered and get angry or irritated by the people around me who disappoint me, but after listening to Jocko and Andrew about learning how to keep calm and control your emotion like the famous saying "those who have swords and know how to use them, but keep them sheathed, shall inherit the earth." i heard this from Jordan Peterson too. it changed my life so much.
Over the summer I left an abusive relationship and felt more lost than I’ve ever felt, thank you for the guidance I found in these videos.
I love it. Real and true mentor, coach, guru, leader.
I experience this in my work. We do something and our manager who is sitting at a desk reacts to this in a negative way. Really arm chair quarterbacking it. But usually to our detriment.
This hit me hard. I've always been quick to get angry. Seeing my older brothers do it all my childhood certainly shaped me. I know it's an irrational reaction but it's a hard cycle to break.
You're not alone brother👍 I get angry fast too but time & experience have taught me that I was just wasting energy especially when I got angry over trivial stuff. Now I'm practising how to control my emotions. Never react to stupid stuff. Some people in life will try to trigger you and the moment you react is the moment you let them win. Ignore bs. It is indeed a hard cycle to break but you can do it bro. It's hard for all of us. It's okay to sometimes get angry. Getting angry over stuff that matters is okay but NEVER get angry/emotional over silly stuff. We can all control our emotions. Take it one day/one step at a time. You got this man👍
The first step is to recognize and admit to it.
I don't honestly know what platforms such as this thought was going to happen with the amount of overbearing control, censorship etc they are putting in place. I'm glad people are leaving this behind. Much respect guys.
Awesome points, Jocko! Emotional control is imperative in life. The reason things are so off the rails in the world today, in my humble opinion, is because people have lost control over their emotions.
Jacko the part about the first bit of information that trigger you being incorrect almost all the time is so true thank you for reaffirming
First podcast that it's totally relatable, down to earth... real. I am struggling with emotional regulation all my life. Psychologists, psychiatrists, peers etc nothing I could connect with until now
First time I checked out your cast I was like "WTF IS THIS?" and who's that meathead looking dude? I have to report to you guys that after viewing TONS of the episodes I'm all in! The fact that you share and expose and explain the truth about the full range of the tragedy of warfare, AND the truth about the fact that there is also a component of love, devotion, honor, faith, and all the highest elements of the human condition is totally cutting edge and badass!
Carry On!
Jocko, great words of wisdom. They will help become a better person in life. Thanks Jocko.
Im a teacher. This is what needs to be taught, nation wide. Regulating emotions is a skill. Thank you.
Freaking outstanding !great nuggets of wisdom . Thank you Jacko and Echo
Great perspective, and helps you look at emotions and reactions in a different light.
I wish i found this type of content at 20 -25 but im about to turn 33 and have made nothing but mistakes. Im glad i found this. Ive got alot of work to do.
I feel like these are inspired by events that occurred years ago as well as events that occurred days ago. I feel the reflective nature gives both your voices insight and impact and depth. Dope
When you freak out on someone you are IMMEDIATELY giving THEM your power and it never makes your sub conscious look or feel good. That doesn’t mean bottle things up you absolute need to feel your emotions but in your own time you need to feel then and appreciate them then release them then push forward. Never bottle things up and never lose control of your emotions
love this. we all need to hear this🙏
One of the most important clips from this entire channel 🙏
I absolutely love listening to your podcasts. The style, presentation and raw application of life lessons really puts it in perspective for me as a leader, mentor and life coach. As a retired Army Combat Vet, I can relate and identify with the stories and experiences you share. The rawness without inflation and hype is greatly appreciated. Thank you for your service. 🇺🇸💫🤟💪
When Jocko described how losing your temper comes across as weak, it's so true. So funny how he describes it. 🤣
Thanks brothers.
Thanks Jocko
Totally agree with everything here. We must gain and maintain control of our emotions for all types of situations. The people I don't understand in the slightest are the ones that believe you can't control your emotions. If you believe you can't be in control of your emotions, this must be a severe lack of ownership and accountability in these types of people.
Don't be pathetic. Get insane confidence in yourself and your abilities. Get mental strength. Become iron willed and disciplined. Become totally emotionally self controlled calm and centred
Be the man who can be relied upon in a crisis. Functioning under any conditions difficulties or hardships.
Become a real masculine man
All explained in detail how to get these qualities and be able to plan and execute any life goal
The art to masculinity by james francis
Great objective. Properly outlined with all points clearly walked through and explained. Thank you for the reminder. Checked and Out.
I love when Jocko suddenly got his knife out while talking about people losing control at 12:45 in the most calm voice
Mines not the average reaction, I don't get angry or mad a lot of the time, but instead freeze emotionally. I then, don't know what I even think about the situation & become emotionally withdrawn & fall into self pity cycles. I feel pathetic all the time with this.
Jocko speaks truths in volume. Anger is a weak sign and emotion.
I just caught my husband with a woman in our house in our bedroom. Today is day 3, and I am trying to move forward. Dead weight!! Listening to Jocko every damn hour !
Oh dang. Ow. This is say 11 or 12, you ok?
@@biggSHNDO yeah. Day 12: doing much better, thank you!
Gentlemen You Are RIGHT on POINT concerning Emotions! I’ve been in complete control over mine since I was a Teenager and I left home to go to work. 53 now and a Veteran of Iraq and Married since 2001.
Thank you for Your Service !!!
@@cliffordincalifornia Thanks It was my Honor!!
Lessons in stoacism. Something a lot of men need to hear and learn; especially myself. Thank you, sir, for sharing your insight and wisdom.
Amazing people!
Love listening to them!
Great insights
My anger isn’t my main problem it is my anxiety that is so strong
I love, love, love this !!!!
Thanks for being a father figure to some of us who didn’t have that
Emotional suppression can lead to outbursts, you got to realize when that outburst is coming and why, it's a constant game of keeping yourself in check, and no it will not be acknowledged or appreciated. Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius, the stoic guy, had a lot of experience with this.
Kids are being deliberately made dependent. But that intentional undermining doesn't negate the value and meaning of accepting and resolving our pain. It is not weak to do so, but on the contrary, it is the single most unnerving thing we will ever face. From it, comes real courage. Out of it grows real strength.
Value on top of value, thankful.
I struggle with this even though everyone that knows me think I am cool and not emotional. I hate when emotions control you
Amen brother, God bless you sir 🙏
This was/is incredibly helpful
This is very helpful and useful, with a lot of situations in life. God Bless.
Jko pod, leadership strategy and tactics, and extreme ownership are the perfect recipe for a construction superintendent.
Great advice here for us all! Loss of emotional control, plus ego, gets alot of police and corrections officers in trouble. One analogy I use in training officers, is that of a train. If you allow emotions to drive the engine, then a train wreck is just ahead. Emotions are important, but should be at the caboose. What drives the train should be your intellect, training, experience, and common sense. Regarding first reports, new officers are trained that in most cases, dispatch info, rarely is correct, and that they should consider that in their approach.
Thank u Sir!
Keep it going fellas, this is my life blood.
Thanks guys for your channel. Both my Dads were Marines among many other fam that is/was in service. I always wanted to be a Seal. Do to medical I could never join the military. I appreciate you guys and your channel. Never give up, Never surrender, unless to reassert and approach from a different angle. lol.
I think Echo is a master of controlling his emotions. lol
Thanks Jacko and EC
Getting out of the shadow of my past has been a life long struggle. I just hope to be less pathetic every day. Taking responsibility, and as J says, be level headed. Some days are better than others.
Emotional control is an important lesson, taken to extremes not being able to control your emotions can ruin portions of your life or at least your effectiveness in many circumstances. Not trying to ride coattails or kiss ass, just have seen it before.
Thank you for the podcast. 🙏
I think:
When Logic is high, Emotion is low.
When Emotion is high, Logic is low.
Love it. I learned this from the book “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz
Want to thank you for “regular face” early on in your podcast. Helped me through one particular four day stretch during SFAS.
Thank you Captain
I often send the young men I speak to your way because I appreciate the way you see life and approach hard times. I too have been flanked by the same aggressors as you guys, because I don't subscribe to the sissy narrative that has been bestowed upon the males in our society.
Stay the course, brother. The world needs more Jocko Willinks.
Dude, be balanced. It's not a sissy narrative, it's just having compassion for your fellow humans, having pity for their pain.
There's times to kick down doors and there's times to keep your mouth shut. It is not always easy to control your emotions but every situation is different. Think about things before you get in them. The worst is when you're blindsided and thrown into a bad situation without warning.
Thanks jocko
right on time , brotha
Glad you’re still with us brother!