Think Before You Speak; The Monster Study: Jocko Underground 026
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ธ.ค. 2022
- Underground Premium Content: www.jockounderground.com/subs...
Join the conversation on Twitter/Instagram: @jockowillink @echocharles
The Monster Study.
SF Guys in a fight. How do they handle themselves?
Pursuing Jiu Jitsu. Compete? or not?
My boss was caught scamming customers.
Communications in the apocalypse.
Managing life when you have an unexpected addition to the family.
This is a good example on why gaslighting and narcissistic abuse is so evil
Every day in my life someone acts like my disappointed wife and I’m missing her but i got brain damaged in war and i’m not good at hints
@@Ihatecommies42 that sounds incredibly difficult to deal with. Stay strong and only tolerate people who give you positive energy💪
There was also an experiment where teachers were told an average class had exceptional students. With time these children improved dramatically as a result of this experiment.
Why isn’t this replicable ?
@@Fast-e-Learning It is, but the education system has been gearing towards equity for the past few decades. We’re seeing the outcome of said practices.
@@Fast-e-Learning It has also been made illegal to do studies like that
That’s not what I’m describing. I understand your sentiments though.
It's a social theory referred to as self fulfilled prophecy!
Jocko never fails to amaze me. As tough as he comes across most of the time, he just taught me an extremely important lesson:
How to talk to my two very sensitive kids.
best heart keep in mind transitioning to fame and not fully baked seals none of that experiment would make sense
Unsurprisingly this works on adults too. We call it human psychology.
you might want harden your sensitive kids then, don't make them snowflakes
Auf der Suche: Not to be a d*ck but you are not readying your kids for the real world. Sheltering them from what they will go through when they are on their own will only make it worse. Not trying to tell u what to do or how to raise your kids, just saying when they go on their own and face that for the first time they will run from it.
@@NinjaRunningWild true
My dad stuttered all his life. When he was in his 20s he realized that his stuttering made other people more uncomfortable than him, so he started poking fun at himself (ala Lighten up Francis). This actually decreased his stuttering exponentially. When I was 2 or 3 years old, I started showing signs of stuttering. My dad knew that focusing on it might make it worse, so they TOTALLY ignored it. I have absolutely no signs of stuttering today, In fact, I had no idea that any of this transpired until my mom told me, and I was in my mid-30s!
I stutter occasionally or end up tongue tied whenever my anxiety levels are high or if I'm sleep deprived. I think your father may have become less anxious of conscious about his stutter, which then led to much less stuttering.
Lol that's amazing but also completely asinine. There's a wide range of reasons why a kid might stutter but it's a cute anecdotal story that we have no idea is true or not
Works for tics as well. Doctors said don’t make an issue of it or you’ll make it worse. Redirection works too, as long as it’s presented as a support and the primary behavior isn’t labeled as bad
My parents, peers, and teachers always told me I was really smart. So I believed it. Anyways later in life it caught up to me because I had no discipline. I was always like "I'm smart I don't need to study." "I'm smart I don't need to do homework, I'll just ace the tests."
I didn't realize that all of this was destroying my discipline, and my ability to grind through hard, boring, things.
Praise is good. But so is objective analysis that includes positive and negative feedback. Being around sycophants can cause the ego to swell causing one to feel high and mighty until reality slaps them back to Earth. But being around lots of negative people can bring you down as well. I think it's important to find those rare people whom you trust to provide objective feedback with the goal of bettering who you are instead or tearing you down, and to be able to mute out the noise as much as possible.
Lmao this was me. I never had to study in high school because it was easy and because I could ace tests without studying. Didn’t work so well in college
I learned how to do things correctly and push through challenges over the next 5-7 years. It’s not a lifelong curse
Care to share tips to someone of similar mind?
Yeah, exactly my story. Even the Navy couldn't break me of those habits. Took me some years of just working manual labor and varied jobs to earn my own discipline. Read Dostoevsky, and pray for humility. ;)
@@coreydagod9317 STOP! Think about what you have just said, perhaps even more importantly what you have not said! You have not said that you recognize this situation/circumstances in your own life/experience and are happy to hear there is hope for you to work your way past it. You have literally asked someone to tell you what to do to solve the problem thus repeating the exact issue that landed you smack dab in the middle of the problem to start with. The whole point here., the entire message that needs to be taken away is that you absolutely must place the responsibility for solving life's problems such as this on your own shoulders and carry that weight gladly and proudly, and even more so firmly planted, and driven by the knowledge that "I've got this, I will not only be victorious in handling this but I will be so as a result of my own stoicism, my own refusal to give up or to be dragged down by anything that anyone else chooses to say or do in an attempt to FUBAR my path ahead of me!
Just a very slight push back for all those that may be thinking they need to tell their kids how great they are always now - remember that doesn’t work out the best either. There is a balance between belittling someone, giving constructive feedback, and building someone up. Find balance in all things.
Indeed, and it's a tricky one. Telling children they are smart, exceptional, or special in the context of the public (i.e. not "special to me" but "special"), instead of praising modifiable qualities like effort, perseverance, problem solving, etc tends to create pressure and work habit issues in the future and typically leads to worse outcomes. The balance seems to be in encouraging them in their "fixed" characteristics by way of reinforcing their capability and ensuring they aren't used as a crutch (to create an internal locus of control). As an exaggerated example, telling a kid they are the smartest ever and smarter than everyone around them, vs reassuring them that they're perfectly capable and intelligent to solve problems and that they simply need to persevere.
@VSP333 👍
Totally agree. No... everyone shouldn't get a trophy.
This is proof that the power of suggestion is so critical to a person's mental stability.
I remember an acquaintance telling his kids when they were young "you'll never amount to anything in life" sure enough, as adults, they hit that target effectively. Words are powerful. Use them carefully, especially with children.
dad told me the same again and again during childhood. proved him wrong
Growing up with high-functioning Autism, I wasn't always the most confident person. But I was an articulate kid, assertive, and had a good sense of self-worth. High school changed all of that. Not only was I bullied frequently for my disorder, but many of the teachers - and even the principal - flat-out ignored it, even when it was happening right in front of them. I was even sucker-punched in one classroom and nobody would touch the kid who did it to me. To top it off, they sent me to a guidance counselor who actually tried to make me dumb myself down because they thought that was the issue. I went on to better schools after I graduated, but the damage was - and to a certain degree, still is - done.
I'm 35 now, and these last few years I have been on a steady upward trajectory in life. But I can't help but feel that I could have gotten to where I am sooner in life had more people over there actually stood up for me instead of against me.
I'm sorry my friend.
I had similar scenarios in life as well. I actually sometimes preferred being bullied, because that was better than being excluded.
I think I understand atleast a bit of how your life may have been. I'm glad to hear you are doing well now though.
Time is a fickle beast. Perhaps you are exactly where you need to be in your life right now. 35 is the new 25.
Medical science is rapidly accelerating and knowledge is rapidly propogating for those who seek it.
"articulate kid" - a defining feature of autism is the opposite of that.
@@dontfeelcold Autism is a spectrum, not all autistic people are alike. Some of us have no problem speaking coherently, but that doesn't mean we don't struggle socially like other autistic people do.
Me? My parents put me through a lot of speech therapy as a toddler, so that really helped. But my high school basically tried to deprogram me so I could speak more like the "other" kids. Like for example, when I said "isn't" or "is not," the guidance counselor who lead these deprograming sessions would correct me with "ain't."
@@JsBuonadonna I hyperfocused on reading, english class, math and science as a kid.
I spent hours(possibly hundreds of hours) reading the dictionary and studying latin/greek roots. Not to get good grades, yet because I found the knowledge interesting.
I would read recipes for foods I never cooked. I would read the ingredients in products and foods, for leisure activities lol. I was hyperfocused on simple things...very often.
So yeah, some autistic people can absolutely be articulate yet still have difficulties regarding social cues.
To be fair, I am not even sure if I am formally on the autism spectrum. Yet some of my life experience seems to fit many of the hallmark traits of early onset high functioning autism (the lack of eye contact, the hyperfocus, difficulty with social cues, sometimes a bit of OCD, social avoidance, etc)
And now in my adulthood, I definitely seem to have a major depression type disorder combined with (thankfully moderate) complex ptsd.
I have not been formally diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder though, and the disorder is more difficult to detect and diagnose in adulthood.
Words spoken by yourself, and words spoken over you have an impact. This is biblical. I love how this guy did this study. It just confirms the truth.
Great fan⬆️⬆️
Thank for watching make use of the link above ⬆️ you are among the shottilisted winners 🎉🎉
Absolutely .. read the book of proverbs .. words have a massive impact
@@andrewteague1061 Heathen here, do you have any specific Proverbs you're referencing? I would be interested to read them (not asking for quotes, I can find them myself if you give me the numbers!)
@@cjjohnson7095 hey champ, stfu that’s not what I said.
Im reminded of how my family treated me, until I finally stopped trying to get back in the family after the last time I got disowned by them. I am also reminded of how the cancer industry handled the discussions around my cancer diagnosis.
In both cases, their handling of it was and is still monstrous.
Likewise. I used to be talkative and inquisitive, but my older sister kept telling me I talk too much and to shut up. This led has led me to have social anxiety and struggle with maintaining conversations. I know consciously I'm being self defeating and "who cares" what others think. But the trauma cuts deep and no matter how rationally I think about my anxiety, my body responds physiologically in ways that lead to feelings of great discomfort that I can't think my way out of.
How has the cancer industry handled you cancer diagnosis?
@@jzen1455 Experienced both of those things. Takes a lot to make it through, hope you both are doing good.
Yea I have a couple awful people in my family like my sister that are Debbie downers and was mad I was making more than her
Telling a child they're doomed to be a certain way is the surest way to make it happen. Hearing about this study turns my stomach.
As an older guy who has raised many dogs it takes like 100 times positive talks for every 1 negative. Dogs and people are not that different. Having worked in corp environment for 25 years it is amazing how positive speech inspires and negative speech just destroys the desired result.
Great fan⬆️⬆️
Thank for watching make use of the link above ⬆️ you are among the shottilisted winners 🎉🎉
Negativity is more memorable (and somewhat enjoyable to some people) and leaves a longer lasting impression with a bitterness that lingers.
Not true with Dogs. Positive:Negative reinforcement should be 50:50. In the wild, wolf packs don't congratulate one another.
Jocko. Thank you for telling us this story. I have also been through something close to this story. Teachers and doctors forget that their special cases (patients or students) are people, and we have feelings.
Dude my dad eroded away my confidence as a young kid and until he split at 15 I never really knew peace. I’d start to get confident about school or workout or myself and boom he’d cut me down with some gas lighting comment. I’m 30 now I’ve done Bjj and beach rescue I’ve swam long distance swims and lifted weights for years now. I’ve passed difficult courses in college and I’m learning to fly airplanes now. But there is still no matter how much I accomplish a sense or lack of confidence in my acts. I have to work on it everyday often times faking it until it’s real. If you’re a father,that shit seriously.
You can’t fake long swims or flying a plane. I’m proud of you. You are living life and kicking ass. Sometimes we have to let go of the negativity parents can bring. I’m glad you are still going after good things.
congrats bro such a beautiful story. you deserve the world honestly, know that you are tough and capable regardless of the emotional scars left with you.
I think you left a word out in the last sentence. You're comment is great and I wanted to make sure what you said.
@@gischattanooga 👍👍👌👌👌💪
Keep working bro, you are strong 💪 😤
“Thoughtless speech is like the stabs of a sword, but the tongue of the wise is a healing”
💯
🔥
🤟
I had a speech impediment as a kid. My family made fun of me for it. Now I am an introvert and can’t stand to converse. I get nervous if it’s anybody outside my immediate family, shake and start to sweat. Love it.
I'm very sorry to hear that. You sound like an intelligent person. I hope you seek out some competent help.
it's tough when the people who are supposed to care about you the most do things like this huh
@@Travis12861 definitely doesn’t help knowing they have issues personally lol, I can’t think of anything to say, I can never get it flowing it’s pretty funny 🤣
Same here, I understand
I swear to God, meditate exercise and learn a martial art, you will be scared of people no longer
Jocko is so correct...I did that with my daughter positive reinforcement she doesn't stutter anymore
Only One minute into this video, but it's a subject that is quite personal to me. In my youth, my speech impediments caused quite the stress in my life. Stutter was one of the two parts, and I found that slowing down helped quite much. Looking forward to the discussion on this topic, because I can see how it could be applied to other aspects of life.
I stuttered when I was a kid, and still do once in awhile. Thank God I had some good teachers that taught me positive things!
Awesome insight as always. I can't help but think about Goggins and how his upbringing did such harm to him in his early life but ultimately made him into the no excuses no blame placing person he is today. He has a new book out, can we please try and get him on the podcast, it would be the most awesome thing ever. Jocko and Goggins have influenced my life for the better and have helped me be accountable. I was an alcoholic headed nowhere, but now I've been sober for two years and have many positive things in the works, thanks to the wisdom I have picked up from you both. It would be amazing to see you guys bounce ideas off each other.
I have a theory that jocko and goggins knew each other in the seals and didn’t get alone very well. They’re both very famous and have been for years if they haven’t collared by now there has to be a reason
@@Pupcaller8 I think you're on to something there 🤔 I recall seeing a tweet at some point in the past where Goggins said he would do the podcast and Jocko responding and saying something like they'll try to make it happen. But nothing ever came of it and that's they only time I can recall where they communicated publicly.
@@Pupcaller8 goggins isnt very loved in the navy seals .. opposite to jocko whos a seal BRO .. so thats why
Which one is his newest book?
Most people would be utterly destroyed by what Goggins went through - they would end up as dealers, murderers, convicts - at best.
Thanks for sharing this story from your youth. Men letting out feelings is a good example for others
CONGRATS 🥳🥳THANKS FOR WATCHING YOU HAVE BEEN PICKED AMONG MY WINNER'S DM TO CLAIM YOUR REWARD ⬆️⬆️ 🥉🥉🎁🎁
Absolutely Love this advice. SO valuable, HOOYAH !!!!
My God I feel like I was apart of "the monster study" as a kid I was constantly told how bad my speech was and developed a speech impediment. No body worked with me not even my family and it felt like everybody around me just gave up on me. Not only that kids at school would make fun of me for it which would make me act out. I was falling down a slippery slope until one night I laid in bed and figured out all the words I couldn't say and I sounded those words out every single night until I got them right. I didn't know how to read either until I was in the 6th grade because nobody wanted to take the time to help me all the teachers I had just told me I sucked. So one day I was at the school library and picked up a book and I told myself I was going to know each word in it and how to say. It was a 500 page book and it took me 6 months to read it front to back and while I read the book any word I didn't know how to say I had a dictionary right beside me to look up the word, figure out it's meaning, and how to say it. Within a year my reading level went from a 1st grade to 12th grade. I started school in the early 2000's and they probably weren't doing the monster study then it was probably just crap public school system but I believed in myself and because of that belief I became *a monster*
that’s fucking awesome man
As a child I couldn’t even talk due how bad my stutter was, I found out that joking about it helped me to loose my tongue. Gotta admit, I felt enraged while listening how they treated these poor kids.
Wait until you find out about Ted Kaczynskis psychiatrist... 😢
My dad told me all the time that I had a speech impediment and shouldn't speak unless I could do it right. Drilled it into me. I was 24 when I realized that I don't actually have a speech impediment, nor had I ever had a speech impediment. But I did get to grow up all self conscious and quiet, so that was nice I guess.
Always solid content for growth... thx big dog.
Coming from a person who used to studder. This is right on. Encouragement always trumps negativity.
Jacko,
I was once told a good leader is respected and elevates his men and women.
A feared leader is actually secretly hated.
I remember a podcast you put out, when some personnel died under friendly fire.
You said you entered debriefing with superiors.
You accepted responsibility, and drafted a plan to keep such an event from happening again.
Next, all of your men had so much respect, they didn’t say silent, try to throw you under the bus, on the contrary, they ALL took responsibility with you.
Clearly, these men have respect as opposed to fear.
Leadership skills pay off.
I live in the east coast and hit the gym at 4 am so these drop 1hour before i go ❤
As a parent we need to be very mindful of what we say to our kids. The last thing they need to hear are words that strip them of their dignity, self respect and confidence.
We don’t need to project our own fears and insecurities on them they have enough already. We need to fix ourselves before we try to fix anyone else.
That shirt ad top left top of the cast is super dope. Good solid work Echo!
This is facts.... happy holidays Jocko.... much respect
Lot's of applications to positive dog training. Thank you for this.
Lemme attem "stiffens tail"
Perfect name for such a study.
awesome, I also believe sometimes sh#* needs to be said regardless the consequence. Even as veteran you understand it still takes courage to speak up as much as it takes to throw down.
thank you, great stuff
I was run through a gauntlet of meds as a kid…. To fix ADHD, came out with an affinity for stimulants… and still had “ADHD” I am a Musician, a Builder, a fighter, and I have a beautiful woman, the bottom line is you have to play the cards you got, and struggle to push and grow, now I am off of all meds and I know that if I’m resting on my default behaviors and lacking discipline, it will result in me being scattered, if I work hard, set up healthy boundaries and get physically active I fix the “ADHD” it’s amazing what free will can do
I was also run through the gauntlet of many different diagnosis and meds. Decided to stop them all at 17, with some relapses afterwards. Hellthcare.
Unfortunately, I haven’t faired that well. Now I’m 28, and have almost nothing going for me, with a long list of complete failures under my belt.
I whole-heartedly contribute the mental hellthcare industry and my parents who unnecessarily forced me into it as having messed me up significantly, seemingly for life.
"ADHD" is a spectrum. It can vary widely between people.
I got no energy every day. I have no will to do anything. Ever since I had a kid I've just felt like a run down person on the verge of a mental breakdown
@@smokingcrab2290 Maybe this will help: try niacin (a B vitamin that makes your skin flush). There is something about it that gives you just enough oomph to get off your butt and start to do things that make you feel better. Niacin is readily available and affordable. Cheers
I got the same shit going on but I'm not musician, even tho instruments are still incredibly addicting. My parents raised me like it was the 50's and even by those standards they were assholes. Definitely have to play the cards your given. But lately people been following me around and taking all my good cards right out of my hands. Prolly gonna play cards somewhere else but I need a full hand first. I also don't understand why people make such a big deal over the impulsive hyperactivity tho. Not even a big deal. Suck a bag of dicks you know?
Studies supported this hypothesis that evaluative labeling can influence behaviour.
So true 💯💯💯👍
Your show is something I was looking for
Oh my gosh!! What an absolutely horrible study!! It some awful torture. My daughter has autism and is almost nonverbal. I teach her by emphasizing what she loves and is able to do. She’s thriving in terms of what she can do. I had communication anxiety for years and had to present speeches many times. I learned to think of what I want. But anxiety is real. Be encouraging. I’m super grateful for this podcast. Thank you so very much!
I’ve stuttered since childhood. My stutter was a trauma response to an abusive home. Teachers, guidance counselors, speech therapists - all well meaning people - tried to treat the response to trauma rather than intervening in the cause of the trauma. Children who stutter don’t need their stutter treated. They need to feel safe and heard. They need to feel their voice matters, despite how it sounds. They need to play with their friends - not spend hours in a speech therapy class that does nothing but reinforce the behavior they’re trying to treat. They need to be loved rather than unconsciously teaching them that they will only deserve love if they can speak fluently.
$1.7M divided by 22 children is $77,272 per child. As someone who has stuttered for over three decades, I can attest that this verdict was just another form of abuse these children suffered from this experiment.
That said, this experiment was nothing compared to how public school systems handled stuttering children in the 90s.
Exactly, as a speech therapist most of the time there's some type of abuse mental or physical going on in the home. There was even a kid once who would stutter more during the baseball season and his dad was a coach that would be extremely hard on him. Ridiculous
That being said there are times where kids need to be taught how to speak and the intricities involved with certain tongue movement
I was raised by parents who tried to convince me I was crazy because that way they could use my name to claim extra money from the government. Been 20 years and I still feel like I come across as crazy, because of how my parents would react to me, even after a thousand different people have told me I'm one of the most well rounded people they know.
I'm the black sheep of my family and have always been a little crazy or weird. I learned how to embrace that side of me and love it to! Idk who wants to be normal but i sure as hell don't! Normal and ordinary are boring! I'd rather be crazy and full off life!!
My mom used my name and SSN to open credit card accounts and to start utilities among other forms of thievery. I also had collections on my credit report before I was 18. There were other issues like being home alone overnight since I was 7 years old, guns, meth, and other fun stuff. I feel perpetually broken and in constant need of repairs from my traumatic childhood; I'm constantly "turning a new leaf" or "rising from the ashes" only to crash, wash, rinse, and repeat. I've been binging on content about psychology, philosophy, self-help, spirituality, etc since I was 17 and no matter what I do, I feel trapped in this broken mind. I just feel a sense of disgust with myself and try to run away from it, but I just follow myself wherever I go. I think my early wanderlust stems from wanting to run away from myself and create new identities.
My parents put me through the hell of various unnecessary mental health diagnosis and meds when I was a teenager.
They seem to have thought that they were helping me, and were somehow giving me some sort of extra advantage. (In school)
They ended up messing me up bad, really bad, seemingly for life.
I went from a straight A student to failing, and ultimately dropping out. They blamed me, and refused to listen to me when I had constantly complained about the affects/effects of those devil pills.
@@internet_internet Honestly I'd prefer getting diagnosed and medicated by professionals than being left to fend for myself rudderless. I ended up self-medicating with alcohol and drugs at 15 and taking very dark paths as I grazed closely upon death and destruction.
@@jzen1455 plz see a psych doc a good one it might take some time but so worth it best. Of luck man
Awesome!
Important stuff - and not just about speech - words word for and against all kinds of outcomes. People often discount the power of words.
Not only words per se, but how the words are delivered is important in creating better outcomes.
Awesome talk.
This is why gossip is so detrimental. People will often automatically believe what they hear.
I've had a speech impediment my whole life (40 yrs) & my parents took me to "speech therapy" as a kid which helped as I learned that part of reducing the stuttering is breath control. So in my teens I'd sing along to tunes on the radio. This helped because there's defined intakes of breath to keep in time with the singer. New people I met in my 20's rarely noticed me stuttering. It's still there though. I find that some sounds are harder to say at the beginning of a word than others, it's weird. I don't know if it's related but I've always been pretty much a loner & massive introvert. Made it so difficult to approach & talk to women.
Love Jocko
Very good video...,thank you👍👍
This is good to hear. I'm an old Crone and we were taught that "words have power" that's why it's called "Spelling". What you say carries alot of POWER. Use that weapon Wisely. And if you don't, get ready for that "blast of shit", when it blows up in your face. 😊
You deserve all the love
In the eighth grade I started wrestling at 175lb and there wasn’t anyone in my weight class in my age bracket. So my father okayed me to be bumped up to the open/college bracket where I got destroyed, but the feedback from my father was always positive after a hard lose.
sounds like he liked watching you lose.thats not helping you its helping him.
@@justinriley8651 You are welcome to your opinion, but every lose was a driving force to better myself both in life and as a wrestler.
I'm a high school full-time substitute teacher--so I'm 75% tutor and guidance counselor and only 25% substitute teacher--I tell every single one of my students that I don't expect perfection, straight A's, or even a passing grade. I only expect honest effort to learn the material, especially for some of the more complex subjects like math and biology. Introducing and reinforcing that idea has helped so many kids stop taking themselves so seriously that they start to do better in the class. I don't know why, but it seems to work.
I emailed my new CFO and told him he had so many uhms in his delivery that I couldn’t make it through his video. Told him he should watch his own video and practice silent pauses in the place for his uhms. He thanked me for the feedback and has done much better.
*Jocko Willink is the Reluctant Leader we need.*
.....We know you've done enough, but your Nation needs you.
🇺🇸 *2024* 🦅
"It's just a prank, bro."
The prank:
Jocko is the man's man 100%
First time having a Jocko Go while listening! Haha
Real good meta-analysis Jocko. I wonder how this effects people who must say “ I am an alcoholic…”, and hear that label over and over for years…
I speak from my heart or emotions...always will....
I was just reading about "The Pygmalion effect" the other day. Crazy stuff.
Imagine your childhood now imagine being a little person again .hearing this is sad but I've seen parents or teachers break down kids to the point they were silent or scared .we should look at each other as teachers and students.if your a teacher be a good teacher if your a student be a good student.
I use to bully my lil bro when I was in high school, looking back it was because I was bullied. I use to say fucked up mean shit to him and that made him hate and resent me for years but I’ve apologized many times since and glad to say we get along and have a good relationship now. Point is, watch what u say to ur siblings especially when young. They really take it to heart. “Thoughtless words cut like a sword. But the tongue of wise people brings healing.”
sometimes that pressure is a motivator. i only seem to do my best with my back against thee wall
The dumbell part 😂
Go listen to Pantera “Mouth For War” and muster up your determination. You will be ok.
Everything in life needs a balance.
I was the youngest in my class so my classmates had a few hundred extra days on me. Rather skinny and (discovered at age 35, 36 now) slightly autistic.
One of the things I have never been able to work through was in 6th grade the teacher called me up to his desk to go over a math test, made no pretense of keeping the conversation between us.
Out loud so the entire class heard
"You crucified these answers [my name]
What happened!"
I then explained that I thought that I understood the problems and had felt confident with the answers.
He inturrepted me and said
"That's what happens when you think!"
It seems like such a silly thing but more than 20 years later this feels like the last hurdle that I can not get over or around.
It's like a great wall extending from sea to sea in my brain.
Everyone is different. Handles pressure differently. I tend to thrive in that environment, most my employees would crumble. You get more bees with honey then vinegar is SO TRUE. Tested that theory lol. Also 15 years of management was enough, dealing with people in that environment where you count on them.
Some of those kids were scared/ Nervous ro speak from abuse!!
If we can remember those things said that helped or hurt us we can help others.
As an example would bet both Jocko and Echo can recall exactly what their Instructors voices sounded like and said.
Never EVER frame advice, commands or guidance in the negative, EVER, regardless of the arena or activity, if your desire is for a positive outcome, reaction or result!!
Cheers🍻
RP
I’m telling you… if you have ANYTHING wrong with you that seems hopeless… if you haven’t tried health discipline… pushing urself so hard every day… u haven’t tried the most important thing and u have no business acting like a victim because you haven’t tried
I agree. Very well said mate
Jocko's laugh, because he knows milking those cows really does work.
Mr Willink, I think there’s one WW2 navy veteran left from USS Laffey “The ship that wouldn’t die”. If you could get him on it would be remarkable.
1976 AD WAS MY BIRTH YEAR
12:45
Took me a second to process this.
My Dad and older brothers made fun of what a skinny kid I was. I started lifting and wrestling at about 14yrs old. It became very self rewarding and chics began noticing me for the 1st time in my life. All of a sudden I began to gain self confidence. It changed my life and when I look back, that razzing I got about being scrawny and ugly motivated me. It could have just as easily went the other way though.
Now here is a concept
Gd it🤬
You have no idea how hardship can force the encouragement of social development and an increase in resolve in a nurodivergent mind. Whether they know they are on the spectrum or not. This is from personal experiences and multiple perspectives. As an Aspie, whom raised two Aspies and mentored many others diagnosed all along the spectrum.
Echo: "Sometimes I'll try to kill you"
Jocko: "Hmm-mmm."
Love these guys, thank you for all the wisdom and laughs and motivation
430 EST! Making a two hour drive, an hour and a half early so I can get it in before a meeting. No days off 😈
Many times it's not what we say but how we say it that people hear. For every 10 positive encouragement / positive feedback you give 1 negative feedback or comment the person remembers the negative feedback / comment.
The crutch theory. Give someone a crutch and they’ll always lean on it.
I had an interpersonal communications class in college. While I was giving my presentation, the teacher held up a time card from the back of the class very abruptly, as if she were raising her hand to ask a question, but she was holding a "3:00" sign or whatever. It completely derailed me because all of a sudden, this hand shoots up from the back of the class, and im like "wtf". I was unable to get back on track. She kept doing it, too. This was the first and only speech I had given where I was shaky and nervous and could barely talk. All because the teacher basically was interrupting my speech throughout. I was the first one to give a speech on the first day, so I didn't see this coming.
In a college Personal and Public speech class, I had an instructor who gave some negative feedback saying I talked in a monotone voice with little emotion. A part of me takes her feedback seriously and another part of me feel super self-conscious about talking like an emotionless robot. Since then, I've made a conscious effort to speak more expressively with mild success. But then seeing someone like Lex Friedman killing it with a similar robot talking style and wonder if talking like an emotionless robot is so bad as my speech instructor implied?
Anyone remember Paul Stamets story about how he stopped stuttering? Wild haha.
There needs to be a mandate for all school teachers, professors, coaches, etc to watch or listen to this podcast segment lol before they begin to teach.
i’m glad i come across this..
Till this day
It’s weird I use to talk a lot then as I’ve gotten older I have gotten ALOT quieter (only 20’s) but I struggle to ever keep a convo going or start one and I never have anything to add, I know I get looked at weird by family cause I’m always that quiet guy, sucks to not be able to fix it any way I know how and I know it holds me back a shit ton
Best feeling not going back on what I said and stressing
“I would secretly do calf-raises“ lol
I thought I was the only one
There’s never a bad time for calf raises.
NEET or what I call fidgety burned calories.
Fuck. I got tears in my eyes hearing this!!
This is so important. Great content! 100% truth❤. If you believe, you have Faith, well by my understanding of the definition anyway, What you say you are, if you say it in repetition, it becomes a habit, this turns into downloading information into your subconscious which acts out as your own personal flaws and negative energy leading to being programmed by some other entity other than you.
Jocko been watching World Cup? That penalty kick reference a little out of the blue lol
This is crazy, because I was just telling a friend of mine about this study today.
Positive mentoring and feedback is critical… but it also has to be honest. You can’t just blindly be “happy” or “positive”. a smart person will see through the BS eventually and lose all respect for you.. which explains a lot of the under 35 crowd.
Or they'll gobble up the positive feedback as their ego grows. Thoughtful, unbiased, and truthful feedback are what's necessary, but it's hard to find. Such feedback can be had from a trusted mentor of some sort. Someone with a track record of being highly objective and minimally biased in every realm of their life. In the end, one has to develop an as objective-as-possible-self-awareness without constantly needing external feedback for validity. Without strong self-awareness, one is prone to being brainwashed and thin-skinned in their self-serving echo chambers.
Think mantra
And I thought the Stanley Milgram experiments were bad.
Atleast Milgram only had adults in his study, and after the experiment concluded there was follow up care and correspondence in regards to why Milgram felt the experiment should be carried out.
A large percentage of the adults in the study, in addition to being paid for their time, also expressed gratitude for the fact that a psychologist showed them how they could infact be a monster(very similar to the natcz), if they were influenced by authority and without consequences for immorality.
Much like the horrors of ww2, the ultimate answer to the The Stanley Milgram Experiments is: "Never Again".
If you don't know about the study, just search for the term: "stanley milgram experiments"