I'll add one. Always let the ladies at the table order first. Many years ago we were three couples dining together at one of downtown Chicago's finer steak houses, one of the men in the group who was quite boorish and unmannerly interrupted his wife when the waiter attempted to take her order so that he could get his in first. I caught the subtle eye-roll of the waiter as he shifted his attention to the man. It was extremely embarrassing for the rest of us at the table, and I made sure the waiter was tipped well when we finished. Never dined out with that couple again.
I think that's a great idea. It becomes a rite of passage, and proof to the child that their parents trust them to act properly, having been trained at home.
Excellent summary. Almost all of them come down to people not caring at all about their surroundings and exuding the feeling that "its all about me." So sad, so common.
not only "the entire meal"; imo (other then checking something what has to be checked because of the conversation at the table) the phone should NEVER have our attention while in the restaurant with other people - the other people at the table should have our attention. It's only a different story if you are alone in a restaurant
Growing up in Washington, D.C., and having deep family roots in Southern Maryland, I was fortunate that, from a very young age, my mother and other extended family members taught me how to behave in all types of restaurant settings. Everything from an exclusive French restaurant or classic steakhouse frequented by members of Congress to a very casual crabhouse along the the banks of the Potomac River, I was always "briefed" beforehand on what to expect and how to behave. It was expected that I would treat waitstaff with absolute respect and demonstrate that I came from a family of generous tippers. It was a wonderful gift that has served me well throughout my adult life. When presented with the opportunity, I have always made it a point to teach young people the same way to behave and enjoy every dining experience.
Good table manners begin at home. When our babies were 1 year old, we removed the tray of their high chair, and placed them at the table, with a place mat, (unbreakable ) dish, spoon and fork. By three years old at the latest, proper behaviour at the dinner table became natural. Early introduction for eating in a group makes it not only less anxiety provoking for parents to take children to a restaurant, but for other patrons also.
If only #6 was enforced more, especially at fine dining restaurants. Many people seem confused and must think they are at the beach or getting ready for bed.
There's a restaurant on the east coast that forbids having children under the age of six past 5:00. I think that is a good idea...not every restaurant for kids and not everyone likes kids.
Although my friend and I were in our early 20's (this was in the 1970s), we frequently attended the opera. It was a thrilling experience for us even though we could not afford the best seats. We dressed formally and acted accordingly. To our horror, some other young adults showed up in jeans looking very slovenly. We took this as an affront to not only ourselves, but to the artists and musicians performing. Now, it is common place; I am so saddened by this, but I love the mission you have undertaken to educate the heathen. Further, we were from working class families; socio/eco is not an excuse for abhorent behavior. I really enjoy your presentations. You are wonderful!
I recently attended a production of "Die Walkure". My friend and I were in (not matching) white dinner jackets. I was aghast at seeing young people in shorts and t-shirts. This was not a baseball game, it was a four-hour opera! At least wear pants. Sheesh.
as a professional musician I totally agree! Of course today it is so normal to come to a concert or an opera performance in casual (sometimes less than that...) dress, so no one feels offended by that - the well dressed people are rather the exception; but it is very sad! It enhances the experience, when everybody comes with the awareness that it should be a special, wonderful evening, and dresses and behaves accordingly. It truly makes the evening better - for you and for all others as well. When I started my career it was (though not recommended) normal that people at least came dressed in a suit/costume, and many visitors came even in evening dress (black tie). It was a pleasure to watch - and it also led to a better behavior and in consequence a better athmosphere... but we cannot turn times back, some things are different today
I was brought up on the West Coast of Ireland, by gentle parents, in the 60ths. We had very little, as regards to money. But what we did have in a bundles, was, good breathing, (manners) there's and old Irish proverb, which did the rounds when I was a boy. "And ounce of breathing, is worth a ton of feeding." My Welsh friend, l look forward to your podcast everyday. You give wonderful sensible old stile advie that's stood the ages.
Brilliantly done. Regrettably you are in the north and missed something that we in the south have forgotten, wearing hats at the table. My grandmother would roll over in her grave if she saw me wearing a hat at the table, let alone in a restaurant, and it has become all too common in the south.
Wearing a hat at the table (usually a baseball cap). Never! I have been in restaurants that had a sign asking that hats or caps be removed … and seen it ignored. The owner gave the customer a choice: remove it or leave. You would have thought the guy had been asked to kill one of his children. He howled and complained, but did remove it.
Cowboy hats in Texas is the exception whether you like it or not. It's the first thing they put on in the morning and the last thing they take off at night. Don't even try to ask a cowboy to take his hat off unless you're about to have a fist fight.
Dancing is an excellent skill for any gentleman to learn. It’s also an excellent form of exercise. There are many free intro classes in North America to get you started. I just had a delightful East Coast Swing Class and am now enjoying a pint of amber.
I love dancing and am on the hardwood at least three times a week. It’s not only a good social skill but it’s a good exercise and helps you to stay mentally alert.
General George S. Patton said about officers and gentlemen "Officers should behave in as polite a manner at mess as they would if dining at home with the ladies of their family. They should not tell smutty stories, or swear, or pick their teeth." I agree. Thank you for sharing. Very best regards Ron
And you are doing a great job, and I appreciate your input even for us of an older generation… and you are, after honest consideration, totally correct…. Thank you young man for your input and hope those of your generation can implement some of your etiquette and add civility to our shared world… I know you have helped me…. Thank you
In LA, there are so many dining fauxpas nowadays. with rude customers..we have our special event dinners at home...That way, no expensive and disappointing evenings....lunch on the other hand seems not to be such a problem as your investment can afford to handle a few disruptions and you don't feel that you spent too much for enduring an obnoxious restaurant goer.
I used to live in a small town and our next-door neighbours were good friends. They had 3 young children and one day the mom was telling us that they had all been out for dinner and she complained that the restaurant didn’t have a kids’ menu. I was familiar with the restaurant they were at and I knew it was a nice, quiet, dark, rather romantic place. She seemed oblivious that it may not have been an appropriate place to take their children; it was her opinion that kids should be allowed anywhere. I could only shake my head. Kids may be ALLOWED anywhere but there also needs to be places where adults can go for a nice quiet meal without having a toddler banging a spoon on the table next to them.
W. C. Field in his movies had the reputation for not liking children. He remarked, that contrary to his movies, he did like children - that, properly cooked, they could be quite tasty.
Arguably the restaurant's fault for not banning children outright, if children are allowed there then your friend was in the right, at least as far as bringing them. ID at the door anyone under 27 not allowed. or what ever age you want.
Japan has the best (really, *_right)_* approach to tipping; It's seen as an affront to providing diligent service as a matter of custom, and is not appreciably reciprocated with expressions through physical currency as though it were either a compulsion, or a bribe - for which it could be taken as. It means nothing sincere and qualitative, in other words.
Tipping culture in the USA is getting out of control, even just 10-15 yrs ago 15% was the norm. Now 20% is considered the starting level for tipping, with suggested tips going as high as 40% or more. And places are expecting tips for take out which previously never used to be the case. It's also been shown that many establishments put the tipping into a pool which is then later redistributed to the servers, with the company taking a cut, so the servers don't even get to keep all of their individual tips. There is some pushback occurring however as customers are becoming wiser to these trends and additionally the economy is not permitting many customers to tip at the elevated levels. Something will give way on that.
I think it’s important to remember that it’s perfectly fine if you’re upset about that, but that it’s a _don’t ever hate the staff, hate the system_ type of situation
Good advice, as usual. 👏 What a pity about that man, small wonder you were offended. I don't think I've ever thought about the reasoning behind dressing up for restaurants quite the way you describe it and I fully agree. In some sense it applies to life in general. We're part of the ambience wherever we are.
I live in New Orleans and have been to many of the great restaurants throughout the city. Fortunately I’ve not had a bad experience except for some patrons being a little under dressed. Most of these are tourist that may have been sightseeing throughout the day. Most locals dress appropriately .
Number 5. I was dining at Cattleman’s in Redding, California, and there was a big loud family seated in the middle of the restaurant. I was in a booth by the wall along with other people in booths along the wall. This teenager from the family took to circling the restaurant inhis skateboard. The never did anything to stop this rude behavior. When I left, I complained, and the woman manager said others had also complained, but she didn’t do anything to stop that damn kid. I’ve never been back.
6:11 I'd never considered this but in fact anywhere you go in a public place you become part of the environment that other people will find themselves in. Looking presentable and dressing appropriately could be seen as a sign of respect in these places too.
If a man invites a woman on a date, he books the restaurant, and he pays. If the lady offers to go Dutch when the bill arrives he should not hesitate to decline and take charge. She can pay for another date. Men who are cheap generally in the romantic arena do not deserve second chances - if they are mean at the start of a relationship, it is all downhill from there! Loathe poor table manners - people who hold their knife like a pen between their first two fingers, fail to use their napkin (showing they've no clue), and obviously anything vulgar like swearing, eating with their mouth open etc. These are among unacceptable behaviours. But the worst, most unforgivable sin is being rude to waiting staff. That conclusively proves a lack of class! This guy is doing his generation of men a huge favour - more power to him! Through my work I've been fortunate enough to meet many iconic, famous gentlemen in my life including Sir Roger Moore, Pierce Brosnan, Tony Curtis and Antonio Banderas. These are the males young men should look up to and emulate, and I'm glad this channel is showing the way.
I have to totally disagree. We have equality of opportunity and equality of earnings between genders. Why should the man pay? This isn't the 1950s where women had limited opportunities and lower earnings. That said, I believe it's appropriate for the gentleman to take the initiative and be the first to pick up the bill and thus offer to pay, but if the lady wants to split the bill then why not? For me this is the mark of a confident, independent lady who makes her own way in the world and isn't looking for a free ride, and isn't that what we're looking for in a partner?
@@bw24summit Another Saturday, another date She would be ready, but she'd always make him wait In the hallway, in anticipation He didn't know the night would end up in frustration He'd end up blowing all his wages for the week All for a cuddle and a peck on the cheek (The Kinks, come dancing)
The excessive use of fragance and perfume is really off putting in a restaurant. We all like to smell good when we go out but wearing perfume in excess is actually making other people around you unconfortable and sometime sick with headache.
I'm American and I've been taught to tip 15% bare minimum but I tend to tip 20% most of the time. I've heard not to tip lower than about 15% unless the service was beyond horrendous.
15% is too low, these days. 20% is considered the norm. I tip at least 25% and usually more. Either way, it's up to you to tip what you feel is appropriate.
@@johnandrus3901 In my opinion, it also depends where you live. Minimum wages for servers can be as high as $20 in LA and and as low as a few bucks in the southern states
@@Gent.Z True, but a meal that costs around $35-40 in a mid-western or southern state, will probably cost you well north of $80 in LA. Even at $20 an hour, they still need a decent tip in LA, because of the high cost of living.
@@johnandrus3901it's funny to hear 20-25% minimum, because I used to be a waiter in the UK, Exeter. I wasn't even near 20$, more like 15-16$ an hour and tips were something you could see once in 5-6 meals/drinks and they were around 2-5£ (like 3-6$) no matter if they got just one pint or two meal course for 6.
I am a European and I tip usually around 10%, provided that the service is nice and food good. I will not tip at all if the service is rude and/or unprofessional and the food is of poor quality. In our culture the tip must be deserved and is not a given.
These are all great points Sir. Being an Englishman tipping and or service charge is a problem for me, If the service is bad the food not good and the ale is stale they will not be getting any more than the price advertised in the menu and I will also not be visiting that restaurant ever again. However if the opposite is true and the staff are awesome the food good and they happen to have Jail ale on tap then I will gladly tip more than I can afford. I once worked in a restaurant where most of the young girls on the floor would spin long yarns into the conversation as they served people saying how they were off to university and how much rent was ya ya ya, anyways these women would be tipped more in one shift then us blokes would make in a week, yes they were on the hustle and good for them, However we figured out that the ladies got tipped far more then the men on the floor no matter how good or attentive our service was to the customer? Again a wonderful video thanks for posting.
Completely agree RE children in smart restaurants. I recently had a very unpleasant experience when out to lunch with my wife at a fairly upmarket fish restaurant by the harbour. One family brought their three children in who spent the next hour running around other guests tables and at one point doing rather offensive impressions of ethnic minorities. Two things struck me; the ambivalence of the parents who couldn't have cared less and the immaturity of the children who, judging by how old they looked should have known better. Parents should be accountable for ensuring that their children behave in a manner befitting the establishment and if they are unable to do, should refrain from taking them.
Really excellent observations! I was waiting for the "chewing with one's mouth open," which is the WORST. Fortunately I've not been subjected to others farting in a restaurant. Regarding kids, your point is well taken, however, when my kids were "small" (but not infants), we'd take them, and if they made any fuss at all, I'd immediately take them outside and just wait with them until they got it out of their system. Turns out that hanging around outside a restaurant with dad, doing absolutely nothing but waiting is super boring, and it had the effect of teaching them that sometimes you have to buck up and not be entertained once in a while at certain events.
Smoking is rarely a problem in US over health concerns but the smell of smoke has a huge impact on the enjoyment of a restaurant meal. If you've been smoking change your clothes before going to a restaurant. Smell is the major influence on flavor and the small of smoke, which you may not even notice, easily carries to ajacent tables ruining the experience of a fine wine or carefully prepared dish of subtle flavors. I hate to see discrimination against smokers as I have best friends who smoke so it's important to ensure your smoke doesn't negatively impact others.
Thanks. We counterbalance each other - I tipped quite well traveling through the UK until the last day, when a waitress explained that it wasn’t necessary (she definitely got tipped!). I don’t mind children if the parents are teaching correct behavior. On teeth marks in bread, what about sandwiches? I tend to eat them with a fork and knife. Thanks again.
Great video!! Full proof way of tipping that gets me through is double the first/ first two numbers and go with that. Right around 20 percent. Works for fast math and if you’ve had a few too many cocktails. If there is an automatic service charge that’s coming off the tip and if the service is excellent I’ll add more to it. Almost always Fail proof and hasn’t let me down yet.
The coarse language and loud voices of others is my top hate when eating out . Not tipping correctly shows one as ignorant or too miserly rather than outride rude .Good point about dress codes though , sadly however many hotels in tourist areas may have dress codes (nothing extreme but just things like gentlemen should not wear shorts in the evening etc or T shirts) , but they are ignored by people who dont consider others (starting usually with their lady companions who tend to dress better)
I was criticized by a new acquaintance on one occasion for "not tipping enough". "Ignorance" was not the issue... *innocence* was! 😡 I had tipped in accordance with the impression that I'd been left with for the service that I'd received - nothing more, nor nothing less. To this day, I consider there to be residual recriminations because of that unpleasant experience - I feel sore for doing absolutely NOTHING wrong! 😡 Is my innocence my fault or something??? What answer do you have for somebody in my well meaning situation?
People blowing their noses at the table, facing other people, making loud trumpet like sounds like it's no big deal. Please tell people they should go to the restroom. Also, some people have the nerve to smell badly. I don't know how these people have friends. They probably just have a lot of money.
That’s all over Europe. Here they do it anywhere, anytime and everywhere. Yesterday I saw staff blow their nose behind the counter and then continue working as if nothing happened, preparing people’s coffee.
I’m sure that must have been a bad extreme at a cheap place. In proper restaurants, the staff would never do anything like that. It is not like Europe is a continent filled with people who don’t have manners or style.
I dined with a university professor colleague who collected my bill before a waiter came over to collect the bill. He saved his face this way, but I felt even more cheaper.
BUT the requirement for tipping is itself a form of rudeness. That`s because it is a presumption, which places people (including the maker of this video) very often in an awkward, embarrassing situation. That is one of the reasons why tipping is discouraged and even banned in many countries. I note that even fast food chains now sometimes place an option to tip on the swipecard machines when you are paying for a small box of fries to take away. So, although, the advice here is sensible, some discussion about the legitimacy of tipping in America would, I think, be timely.
Bravo! Proper etiquette makes life more pleasant wherever you are. There are, of course, cultural differences between countries and regions, but for the most part I agree with your comments. With regard to tipping, I must confess I do find the automatic inclusion of a certain percentage automatically added to your bill offensive. I always leave a tip, but I enjoy the freedom to tip an amount appropriate for the quality of the service I received. I would never leave a 25% tip which I find excessive unless I am dining alone. 20% is my usual tip unless the service was poor. In that situation I would likely leave 15% or maybe only 10% if the service was really deplorable. Of course, if I am some place such as Paris where service is included in the price, I would do as is customary in France by leaving only a small amount. I am annoyed by the noise of small children in nicer restaurants, but it can usually be avoided by dining at a later hour. In the USA we are more casual than.in Europe except in the finer restaurants, but I always try to look respectable and dress appropiately for the particular restaurant. Climate can affect how people should dress too. The most disgusting behavior I have ever witnessed occurred before smoking became prohibited in public places. I joined a colleague for a business luncheon. He lit a cigarette after the meal and after smoking extinguished it on his dirty plate before the table was cleared!
Traveling shows that manners are culturally relative. I was recently at a hotel restaurant in Dubai where a family elected to sit on the floor and eat with their hands. Nobody was batting an eyelid at this and so I guess they see it frequently. The table next to me had picked up a large quantity of fruit from the buffet and while eating this they spread the fruit skins and cores all over the table, requiring the waiter to use a dustpan and brush to clear the table and then swab it down, but before he could finish this job the next diners had already sat down. And then there's the loud slurping of everything from soup to pasta. Sometimes I'm glad that a restaurant has a hubbub of loud conversation as it covers up the disgusting noises some people make while they eat. I rarely choose to eat out these days, preferring my own company.
So when we returned to the US after living 15 years in Europe (my adolescence years), I was embarrassed when people would complain to the wait staff about something on their plates. Took me awhile to get accustomed to it. There’s nothing wrong with bringing an issue to the wait staff but many times people have no manners in doing so
Great points for consideration. Swearing and explicit conversations doesn't bother me if it's in a bar area of a pub, but in a family restaurant with kids around, that's frustrating. Any verbal grandstanding just makes the complainer look like a total braying donkey. Welcome to the U.S.! Thanks for bringing class along with you.
My Parents always took me to fine restaurants from the age of four on provided I dresses well an behaved properly. There was only a problem one, when my mother chose the wrong tie for me. She relented.❤
WELL SAID ... especially the revulsion over using toothpicks at the table (a habit of one of my old friends!) utterly disgusting ! Also, the best way to eat bread is to break off a mouthful by hand for consumption, rather than to take a bite.
If you're travelling it's well worth researching the tipping culture. Italy has a very different approach from the US. Tipping is not expected in restaurants in Italy.
I don't like service charges because it is often taxed! Plus many times the waiter only recieve a small fraction. And a 20 usd tip on a 100 usd bill is ridiculous. 20 dollars for maybe 15 minutes work, plus the receive their wages! Outrageous. However i will often pay 80 pence uk, on a £5 bill.
Loud, rude customers are always terrible. Brat kids that cause a ruckus, especially if they aren't taken outside or the restroom right away, need to stay home. Dress codes vary. If you're at a summer beach resort at a decent restaurant, it can mean a nice polo or something similar. At an upscale restaurant, especially for a special occasion or business meeting, nice attire, including a jacket and tie is always a good thing. Don't bitch about things. If you have a real problem, bring it to the manager;s attention, in private. Always tip well and treat the restaurant staff with respect.
Hello Sir, Would you ever revisit the video idea of helping young men lean into more stylish looks? I am a university student interested in dressing better and have taken great inspiration from your style transition. Your page has always been great at providing budget-friendly options while never compromising on quality. I appreciate all advice, like the video you created about stationery. I'm sure there are many more of your viewers in a similar situation to me. Thank you!
If the server comes to take your order and you or someone else in your party hasn’t decided yet, it’s perfectly OK to politely say you need a couple more minutes. Don’t, however, just sit there and agonize or waffle about your decision. You’re wasting the server’s time and probably embarrassing others in your party. Also, make sure you are in fact ready by the time they come back if you’ve already asked them to give you that extra time. Especially these days, when you can generally look at the menu online before even leaving the house, there’s really no excuse for being unprepared when it’s time to order
Honestly when it comes to children, it depends, because I myself was with my parents to restaurants all the time, and I wasn't a hyper active kid, neither bored. I think it also matters the enviroment you are grown into.
Like you, I don't have kids, but if I did, I would take them to an appropriate restaurant (pizzeria, etc) when old enough, as it would teach them social skills and manners (please, thank you etc)... Things they may not pick up from kids their own age or in the playground. I would rather do this than palm them off onto a babysitter who they may not be happy with. The exception to this rule of o course, is if it were an anniversary or milestone birthday. I love your channel BTW!
I once went to a very nice restaurant with up market menu and I ordered my meal I was with a family member during the meal. I managed while trying to avoid picking up sweetcorn noring away at it said sweetcorn went ping off my plate and landed on the floor so i used humour to prevent any embarrassment to myself or other people in the restaurant by saying well that one got away from me humour can be a great way of talking through tricky situations provided you don’t use profanity
Can’t make any of these mistakes if I don’t go out 😏 (I’d rather cook myself, and most restaurants in my area are just crap and expensive, Alaska hardly has any good restaurants, yes I am Alaskan)
Among Chinese and Taiwanese, they will use toothpicks but cup their hands over their mouth so as to be somewhat courteous. It's probably best, though, to do it in the restroom.
I agree with this one. If you feel you got an extra serving jammed between two teeth, you can't go running to the bathroom every 15 minutes. Cup with one hand as if you're about to cough, do the deed, and just like a magician, hide that toothpick. You can be quite good at it with practice. No one will ever know.
I can’t stand profane language in public. There was a time when that type of language stayed at home. Today it’s everywhere! Language, t-shirts, bumper stickers.
1. People who raise their hand and wave to "summon" to get the attention of their wait-person or worse, to ask another server to have 'your server' come to the table because they want something. 2. Ordering a drink before dinner: it is common for a server to come to the table, introduce him or her self and initially say, "Can I bring you something to drink"? I feel people should anticipate this before they enter a decent restaurant so they can tell the waitperson what wine, beer or alcohol they prefer (or if they simply want water, coffee or iced tea). Making a big production and saying "um, well, oh gee I just don't know... etc." drives me nuts (and I'm sure the server too). If you're unsure about something, please simply say, "Could you recommend a good ... (white, red, sparking wine, dark beer, type of single malt Scotch, etc.)"?
#2 Service charge: The service charge should be blatantly obvious, so I know what I am paying. Be sneaky, I will pay it silently, and NEVER return! #3 Tipping: 15% for common service. 5% or less for poor, 20% and way up for creating a wonderful experience. NEVER encourage poor service Never complain about bad food, just don' eat it. Don't ruin your own evening. What you get next may have spit in it.
This was excellent. Thank you, James. One thing Americans need to be reminded of is NO HATS while eating. Sadly, this has become somewhat acceptable in American culture. I've seen men wearing hats in all types of restaurants...No, no.
You mentioned the man complaining about the service fee. I would generalize that to not complaining, even amongst your own party, about menu item pricing and such. It’s just kind of tacky
Wonderful advice! The degradation of class and manners in the U.S. is especially disturbing. So good job as a young gentleman to promote a classy way of living….
There are rules for hats. If you are entering a "private" space, you remove your hat, but in a public space, hats are allowed. For instance, the waiting room at a doctor's office is public, so hats are fine, but once you enter the exam room area (usually through a door), the hat should be removed. Meal times become private areas once you are seated, so hats should be removed at the table. Outdoor seating breaks these rules due to sunlight exposure.
I had a car accident head injury and have to wear shades indoor for migraines-bright lights… I always feel bad as other judge me and other try not to wear my health needs but only at causing myself pain… so since the person above talked cancer, let’s just forgot what other people wear to restaurants, and stick to judging only out of control attitudes , to waiters or partners, and loud volumes shall we.
@@voozoo1606 For what is a small minority of all men currently wearing hats in restaurants, exemption granted. Even for the rest, doing it out of bad habit rather than medical necessity, no one other than Tony Soprano should be actually walking up and insisting a man remove his hat anyway, it's fine we've moved past confrontationalism. If anyone is mistakenly taking you for one of the latter when you're one of the former, you'll never know it as long as they keep their traps shut.
I take issue with #3. Americans are suffering from tip fatigue, especially when presented with an electronic tablet that has pre set tip amounts. I got to thinking about tipping while dining out. If I ordered a hamburger that cost $20 and tipped 20% for the service vs. ordering a filet that cost $60 and tipping the same percentage, yet the service level was the same, why should I tip a set percentage of the bill. If US restaurants would pay staff a living wage as in the EU, then this would not be an issue. Until then, I will tip what I feel appropriate, regardless of the total amount on the bill.
I‘m often surprised how basic things like keeping the mouth shut while chewing or not licking oneselves fingers are alien even to upper class individuals nowerdays. I always shiver in disgust from such rudeness.
One disagreement -I am an older gentleman and many years ago my parents wanted to take me in as a young child maybe a bit above toddler , the waiter said politely to my parents they didn’t normally have children as guests, but my parents assured them I would be quiet and just eat -he allowed it, and I just ate happily -if there is rule in the restaurant that’s one thing and even here exceptions can be granted, but otherwise a child if known to be well behaved should not have to be banned just because it’s a date or business meeting type adults restaurant /money is still green -of course it’s no place for screaming babies however 5:05
You forgot the number 1 rude behaviour.. being on your cell phone, or putting in on the table. I see it all the time and am just amazed how many people still do this totally unaware of how rude it is.
As a gentleman, would you EVER confront a fellow diner for their terrible behaviour? I once had to do this to someone who was loudly shouting into their phone, I didn't enjoy it.
I'm curious of people's thoughts on this. One thing I've seen some people do at restaurants is sniff their food before putting their fork/spoon in their mouth. And I don't mean, sniffing in a way where the person is clearly enjoying the aroma of the food, but rather, it's a suspicious smell, like they're expecting to find something wrong with it. And it's not because there's anything wrong with the food, the person just doesn't seem to think they'll like it. Honestly, it just comes off as childish to me. It just looks like a toddler that's being scolded into eating their broccoli. Am I alone in this?
A mistake a gentleman should never make in a restaurant is to not be in a pleasant mood- as we all know the restaurant experience is at least 60% your companion's behaviour (far more than the food ,service or even other diners ) . So ,especially on a date , be in a positive mood ,smile , laugh , take time to be interested in what the lady says and relax .Dont look at your phone ( I see this amazingly a lot with couples dining and wonder why they went out) and dont talk about things you know the lady will not be interested in (probably sport, politics and your work in detail)
Lately, I've been more disgusted at behavior of restaurant STAFF than I am at behavior of patrons. Some examples: Hurrying me along, using improper English ('we don't got that here"), and asking me when I pay at the cash register if I want my change (eg, when the bill was $55.23 and I paid $56.00 cash). There is now this undercurrent that every server expects AT LEAST a 20% tip for minimal, mediocre service, even at a breakfast place. It goes along with the American "participation trophy" mentality and the sense of entitlement here. I really don't enjoy dining out anymore. I think I'm done with it, actually.
I'll add one. Always let the ladies at the table order first. Many years ago we were three couples dining together at one of downtown Chicago's finer steak houses, one of the men in the group who was quite boorish and unmannerly interrupted his wife when the waiter attempted to take her order so that he could get his in first. I caught the subtle eye-roll of the waiter as he shifted his attention to the man. It was extremely embarrassing for the rest of us at the table, and I made sure the waiter was tipped well when we finished. Never dined out with that couple again.
Kool!
Very good advice. Some are basic manners that it is incredible that many do not have.
Thank you. Indeed, most things in this video should be obvious, but looking at society, it seems they are not
In the book ‘Casino Royale’ Bond left a generous tip. M
One thing I love about the French is they don’t bring kids to restaurants until they’re old enough to eat like an adult.
That's pretty sad tbh
I think that's a great idea. It becomes a rite of passage, and proof to the child that their parents trust them to act properly, having been trained at home.
@@catatonicbug7522agreed
lovely
The French are very welcoming to children of all ages in restaurants and provide high-chairs for very young children.
I fully agree with Number 6. We become part of the charm or detract from it by how we dress. Excellent points.
Excellent summary. Almost all of them come down to people not caring at all about their surroundings and exuding the feeling that "its all about me." So sad, so common.
Also spending the entire meal talking to or glued to your phone is also a gentleman faux pas
not only "the entire meal"; imo (other then checking something what has to be checked because of the conversation at the table) the phone should NEVER have our attention while in the restaurant with other people - the other people at the table should have our attention. It's only a different story if you are alone in a restaurant
Growing up in Washington, D.C., and having deep family roots in Southern Maryland, I was fortunate that, from a very young age, my mother and other extended family members taught me how to behave in all types of restaurant settings. Everything from an exclusive French restaurant or classic steakhouse frequented by members of Congress to a very casual crabhouse along the the banks of the Potomac River, I was always "briefed" beforehand on what to expect and how to behave. It was expected that I would treat waitstaff with absolute respect and demonstrate that I came from a family of generous tippers. It was a wonderful gift that has served me well throughout my adult life. When presented with the opportunity, I have always made it a point to teach young people the same way to behave and enjoy every dining experience.
If only every child was as lucky! Respect to your family, that is indeed a gift above rubies.
Good table manners begin at home. When our babies were 1 year old, we removed the tray of their high chair, and placed them at the table, with a place mat, (unbreakable ) dish, spoon and fork. By three years old at the latest, proper behaviour at the dinner table became natural.
Early introduction for eating in a group makes it not only less anxiety provoking for parents to take children to a restaurant, but for other patrons also.
Bravo!
If only #6 was enforced more, especially at fine dining restaurants. Many people seem confused and must think they are at the beach or getting ready for bed.
yes its quite disgusting the standard of dining out attire these days
I actually want to go to a restaurant that has a jacket required rule now.
Agreed, in Summer, far too many men expose too much bare flesh wearing shorts or tank tops etc - it is revolting around food!
Real fine dining is long gone… dress codes are casual nearly everywhere now.
@@qed456why is it disgusting? i can't be bothered to care what people wear
There's a restaurant on the east coast that forbids having children under the age of six past 5:00.
I think that is a good idea...not every restaurant for kids and not everyone likes kids.
Very good. That should be a common rule, at least for fine dining.
Unfortunately the problem is not the children. It‘s the parents.
Although my friend and I were in our early 20's (this was in the 1970s), we frequently attended the opera. It was a thrilling experience for us even though we could not afford the best seats. We dressed formally and acted accordingly. To our horror, some other young adults showed up in jeans looking very slovenly. We took this as an affront to not only ourselves, but to the artists and musicians performing. Now, it is common place; I am so saddened by this, but I love the mission you have undertaken to educate the heathen. Further, we were from working class families; socio/eco is not an excuse for abhorent behavior. I really enjoy your presentations. You are wonderful!
I recently attended a production of "Die Walkure". My friend and I were in (not matching) white dinner jackets. I was aghast at seeing young people in shorts and t-shirts. This was not a baseball game, it was a four-hour opera! At least wear pants. Sheesh.
as a professional musician I totally agree! Of course today it is so normal to come to a concert or an opera performance in casual (sometimes less than that...) dress, so no one feels offended by that - the well dressed people are rather the exception; but it is very sad! It enhances the experience, when everybody comes with the awareness that it should be a special, wonderful evening, and dresses and behaves accordingly. It truly makes the evening better - for you and for all others as well. When I started my career it was (though not recommended) normal that people at least came dressed in a suit/costume, and many visitors came even in evening dress (black tie). It was a pleasure to watch - and it also led to a better behavior and in consequence a better athmosphere... but we cannot turn times back, some things are different today
I was brought up on the West Coast of Ireland, by gentle parents, in the 60ths. We had very little, as regards to money. But what we did have in a bundles, was, good breathing, (manners) there's and old Irish proverb, which did the rounds when I was a boy. "And ounce of breathing, is worth a ton of feeding." My Welsh friend, l look forward to your podcast everyday. You give wonderful sensible old stile advie that's stood the ages.
Brilliantly done. Regrettably you are in the north and missed something that we in the south have forgotten, wearing hats at the table. My grandmother would roll over in her grave if she saw me wearing a hat at the table, let alone in a restaurant, and it has become all too common in the south.
Wearing a hat at the table (usually a baseball cap). Never! I have been in restaurants that had a sign asking that hats or caps be removed … and seen it ignored. The owner gave the customer a choice: remove it or leave. You would have thought the guy had been asked to kill one of his children. He howled and complained, but did remove it.
A baseball hat should never be worn outside a sports venue or a beach resort.
@@herbtube7824💯
The etiquette of dining is ladies can leave hats on men must remove them
Cowboy hats in Texas is the exception whether you like it or not. It's the first thing they put on in the morning and the last thing they take off at night. Don't even try to ask a cowboy to take his hat off unless you're about to have a fist fight.
@@craigdouglas7106 I had a different experience while staying in Texas. Most Gentlemen were very polite and always took off their hats when required.
Can you make a video about dances every gentleman should know?
That is a good one. And how to lead a lady in said dances.
DWEEBS can't dance
Dancing is an excellent skill for any gentleman to learn. It’s also an excellent form of exercise. There are many free intro classes in North America to get you started. I just had a delightful East Coast Swing Class and am now enjoying a pint of amber.
I love dancing and am on the hardwood at least three times a week. It’s not only a good social skill but it’s a good exercise and helps you to stay mentally alert.
No matter how angry you are at a person at your table, do not throw a glass of water in their face.
I dunno I've seen people that would be deserving of that treatment lol
I absolutely love that you have this TH-cam Chanel to talk about these subjects. One can never be over elegant (by Coco Chanel)👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
General George S. Patton said about officers and gentlemen "Officers should behave in as polite a manner at mess as they would if dining at home with the ladies of their family. They should not tell smutty stories, or swear, or pick their teeth." I agree. Thank you for sharing. Very best regards Ron
Patton missed alot. See my post.
And you are doing a great job, and I appreciate your input even for us of an older generation… and you are, after honest consideration, totally correct…. Thank you young man for your input and hope those of your generation can implement some of your etiquette and add civility to our shared world… I know you have helped me…. Thank you
In LA, there are so many dining fauxpas nowadays. with rude customers..we have our special event dinners at home...That way, no expensive and disappointing evenings....lunch on the other hand seems not to be such a problem as your investment can afford to handle a few disruptions and you don't feel that you spent too much for enduring an obnoxious restaurant goer.
I used to live in a small town and our next-door neighbours were good friends. They had 3 young children and one day the mom was telling us that they had all been out for dinner and she complained that the restaurant didn’t have a kids’ menu. I was familiar with the restaurant they were at and I knew it was a nice, quiet, dark, rather romantic place. She seemed oblivious that it may not have been an appropriate place to take their children; it was her opinion that kids should be allowed anywhere. I could only shake my head. Kids may be ALLOWED anywhere but there also needs to be places where adults can go for a nice quiet meal without having a toddler banging a spoon on the table next to them.
W. C. Field in his movies had the reputation for not liking children. He remarked, that contrary to his movies, he did like children - that, properly cooked, they could be quite tasty.
Arguably the restaurant's fault for not banning children outright, if children are allowed there then your friend was in the right, at least as far as bringing them. ID at the door anyone under 27 not allowed. or what ever age you want.
I’ve found the best way to dine in a pleasant environment. I dine at home.
Cool outfit. That takes the initial fraction of a second. I can't avoid noticing it. 😎
Thank you
Excellent video James. It seems that most of what constitutes good manners boils down simply to consideration for others.
Damn, tipping culture in USA sounds crazy, feels so mandatory it almost loses it's meaning
Japan has the best (really, *_right)_* approach to tipping;
It's seen as an affront to providing diligent service as a matter of custom, and is not appreciably reciprocated with expressions through physical currency as though it were either a compulsion, or a bribe - for which it could be taken as.
It means nothing sincere and qualitative, in other words.
What I think is interesting is that, since the 80's, a standard tip at a restaurant has doubled! It was 10% back then, and less if service suffered.
Tipping culture in the USA is getting out of control, even just 10-15 yrs ago 15% was the norm. Now 20% is considered the starting level for tipping, with suggested tips going as high as 40% or more. And places are expecting tips for take out which previously never used to be the case. It's also been shown that many establishments put the tipping into a pool which is then later redistributed to the servers, with the company taking a cut, so the servers don't even get to keep all of their individual tips. There is some pushback occurring however as customers are becoming wiser to these trends and additionally the economy is not permitting many customers to tip at the elevated levels. Something will give way on that.
Tipping in the US is downright disgusting! It's nothing more than an excuse for employers not to pay decent wages.
I think it’s important to remember that it’s perfectly fine if you’re upset about that, but that it’s a _don’t ever hate the staff, hate the system_ type of situation
Awesome video! I don't have another bad experience to add, which makes this video a must-watch.
Good advice, as usual. 👏 What a pity about that man, small wonder you were offended. I don't think I've ever thought about the reasoning behind dressing up for restaurants quite the way you describe it and I fully agree. In some sense it applies to life in general. We're part of the ambience wherever we are.
I live in New Orleans and have been to many of the great restaurants throughout the city. Fortunately I’ve not had a bad experience except for some patrons being a little under dressed. Most of these are tourist that may have been sightseeing throughout the day. Most locals dress appropriately .
Number 5. I was dining at Cattleman’s in Redding, California, and there was a big loud family seated in the middle of the restaurant. I was in a booth by the wall along with other people in booths along the wall. This teenager from the family took to circling the restaurant inhis skateboard. The never did anything to stop this rude behavior. When I left, I complained, and the woman manager said others had also complained, but she didn’t do anything to stop that damn kid. I’ve never been back.
Thank you! No mystery tips, just what my mum and dad taught me. But I'm always welcome back at my local restaurants.
6:11 I'd never considered this but in fact anywhere you go in a public place you become part of the environment that other people will find themselves in. Looking presentable and dressing appropriately could be seen as a sign of respect in these places too.
What I have problems with is that there is a service charge and additional line for tipping your waiter or waitresses.
All good points and very well said!
If a man invites a woman on a date, he books the restaurant, and he pays. If the lady offers to go Dutch when the bill arrives he should not hesitate to decline and take charge. She can pay for another date.
Men who are cheap generally in the romantic arena do not deserve second chances - if they are mean at the start of a relationship, it is all downhill from there!
Loathe poor table manners - people who hold their knife like a pen between their first two fingers, fail to use their napkin (showing they've no clue), and obviously anything vulgar like swearing, eating with their mouth open etc. These are among unacceptable behaviours. But the worst, most unforgivable sin is being rude to waiting staff. That conclusively proves a lack of class!
This guy is doing his generation of men a huge favour - more power to him! Through my work I've been fortunate enough to meet many iconic, famous gentlemen in my life including Sir Roger Moore, Pierce Brosnan, Tony Curtis and Antonio Banderas. These are the males young men should look up to and emulate, and I'm glad this channel is showing the way.
I have to totally disagree. We have equality of opportunity and equality of earnings between genders. Why should the man pay? This isn't the 1950s where women had limited opportunities and lower earnings. That said, I believe it's appropriate for the gentleman to take the initiative and be the first to pick up the bill and thus offer to pay, but if the lady wants to split the bill then why not? For me this is the mark of a confident, independent lady who makes her own way in the world and isn't looking for a free ride, and isn't that what we're looking for in a partner?
@@bw24summit Another Saturday, another date
She would be ready, but she'd always make him wait
In the hallway, in anticipation
He didn't know the night would end up in frustration
He'd end up blowing all his wages for the week
All for a cuddle and a peck on the cheek
(The Kinks, come dancing)
Thank you...well received
The excessive use of fragance and perfume is really off putting in a restaurant. We all like to smell good when we go out but wearing perfume in excess is actually making other people around you unconfortable and sometime sick with headache.
I'm American and I've been taught to tip 15% bare minimum but I tend to tip 20% most of the time. I've heard not to tip lower than about 15% unless the service was beyond horrendous.
15% is too low, these days. 20% is considered the norm. I tip at least 25% and usually more. Either way, it's up to you to tip what you feel is appropriate.
@@johnandrus3901 In my opinion, it also depends where you live. Minimum wages for servers can be as high as $20 in LA and and as low as a few bucks in the southern states
@@Gent.Z True, but a meal that costs around $35-40 in a mid-western or southern state, will probably cost you well north of $80 in LA. Even at $20 an hour, they still need a decent tip in LA, because of the high cost of living.
@@johnandrus3901it's funny to hear 20-25% minimum, because I used to be a waiter in the UK, Exeter. I wasn't even near 20$, more like 15-16$ an hour and tips were something you could see once in 5-6 meals/drinks and they were around 2-5£ (like 3-6$) no matter if they got just one pint or two meal course for 6.
I am a European and I tip usually around 10%, provided that the service is nice and food good. I will not tip at all if the service is rude and/or unprofessional and the food is of poor quality. In our culture the tip must be deserved and is not a given.
Yes!! A screaming toddler has no place in a fine dining establishment! If a jacket is required=NO KIDS‼️
These are all great points Sir.
Being an Englishman tipping and or service charge is a problem for me, If the service is bad the food not good and the ale is stale they will not be getting any more than the price advertised in the menu and I will also not be visiting that restaurant ever again.
However if the opposite is true and the staff are awesome the food good and they happen to have Jail ale on tap then I will gladly tip more than I can afford.
I once worked in a restaurant where most of the young girls on the floor would spin long yarns into the conversation as they served people saying how they were off to university and how much rent was ya ya ya, anyways these women would be tipped more in one shift then us blokes would make in a week, yes they were on the hustle and good for them, However we figured out that the ladies got tipped far more then the men on the floor no matter how good or attentive our service was to the customer?
Again a wonderful video thanks for posting.
Completely agree RE children in smart restaurants. I recently had a very unpleasant experience when out to lunch with my wife at a fairly upmarket fish restaurant by the harbour. One family brought their three children in who spent the next hour running around other guests tables and at one point doing rather offensive impressions of ethnic minorities. Two things struck me; the ambivalence of the parents who couldn't have cared less and the immaturity of the children who, judging by how old they looked should have known better. Parents should be accountable for ensuring that their children behave in a manner befitting the establishment and if they are unable to do, should refrain from taking them.
Really excellent observations! I was waiting for the "chewing with one's mouth open," which is the WORST. Fortunately I've not been subjected to others farting in a restaurant. Regarding kids, your point is well taken, however, when my kids were "small" (but not infants), we'd take them, and if they made any fuss at all, I'd immediately take them outside and just wait with them until they got it out of their system. Turns out that hanging around outside a restaurant with dad, doing absolutely nothing but waiting is super boring, and it had the effect of teaching them that sometimes you have to buck up and not be entertained once in a while at certain events.
Even without profanity, I can't stand loud talkers. They override other diner's conversations and distract from the enjoyment of good food.
Smoking is rarely a problem in US over health concerns but the smell of smoke has a huge impact on the enjoyment of a restaurant meal. If you've been smoking change your clothes before going to a restaurant. Smell is the major influence on flavor and the small of smoke, which you may not even notice, easily carries to ajacent tables ruining the experience of a fine wine or carefully prepared dish of subtle flavors. I hate to see discrimination against smokers as I have best friends who smoke so it's important to ensure your smoke doesn't negatively impact others.
Thanks. We counterbalance each other - I tipped quite well traveling through the UK until the last day, when a waitress explained that it wasn’t necessary (she definitely got tipped!). I don’t mind children if the parents are teaching correct behavior. On teeth marks in bread, what about sandwiches? I tend to eat them with a fork and knife. Thanks again.
Great video!! Full proof way of tipping that gets me through is double the first/ first two numbers and go with that. Right around 20 percent. Works for fast math and if you’ve had a few too many cocktails. If there is an automatic service charge that’s coming off the tip and if the service is excellent I’ll add more to it. Almost always Fail proof and hasn’t let me down yet.
Very much enjoy these films.
They should be required viewing at all schools, colleges and universities.
The coarse language and loud voices of others is my top hate when eating out . Not tipping correctly shows one as ignorant or too miserly rather than outride rude .Good point about dress codes though , sadly however many hotels in tourist areas may have dress codes (nothing extreme but just things like gentlemen should not wear shorts in the evening etc or T shirts) , but they are ignored by people who dont consider others (starting usually with their lady companions who tend to dress better)
I was criticized by a new acquaintance on one occasion for "not tipping enough".
"Ignorance" was not the issue... *innocence* was! 😡
I had tipped in accordance with the impression that I'd been left with for the service that I'd received - nothing more, nor nothing less.
To this day, I consider there to be residual recriminations because of that unpleasant experience - I feel sore for doing absolutely NOTHING wrong! 😡
Is my innocence my fault or something???
What answer do you have for somebody in my well meaning situation?
OH MY GOD THAT NUMBER 5. THAT POINT NUMBER 5 IS A KILLER !
Another rule is don’t be rude to the resturant staff as if they are there to serve you and you are above them.
People blowing their noses at the table, facing other people, making loud trumpet like sounds like it's no big deal. Please tell people they should go to the restroom. Also, some people have the nerve to smell badly. I don't know how these people have friends. They probably just have a lot of money.
That’s all over Europe. Here they do it anywhere, anytime and everywhere. Yesterday I saw staff blow their nose behind the counter and then continue working as if nothing happened, preparing people’s coffee.
I’m sure that must have been a bad extreme at a cheap place. In proper restaurants, the staff would never do anything like that. It is not like Europe is a continent filled with people who don’t have manners or style.
I dined with a university professor colleague who collected my bill before a waiter came over to collect the bill. He saved his face this way, but I felt even more cheaper.
BUT the requirement for tipping is itself a form of rudeness. That`s because it is a presumption, which places people (including the maker of this video) very often in an awkward, embarrassing situation. That is one of the reasons why tipping is discouraged and even banned in many countries. I note that even fast food chains now sometimes place an option to tip on the swipecard machines when you are paying for a small box of fries to take away. So, although, the advice here is sensible, some discussion about the legitimacy of tipping in America would, I think, be timely.
I only tip if I am satisfied with service and food.
Bravo! Proper etiquette makes life more pleasant wherever you are. There are, of course, cultural differences between countries and regions, but for the most part I agree with your comments. With regard to tipping, I must confess I do find the automatic inclusion of a certain percentage automatically added to your bill offensive. I always leave a tip, but I enjoy the freedom to tip an amount appropriate for the quality of the service I received. I would never leave a 25% tip which I find excessive unless I am dining alone. 20% is my usual tip unless the service was poor. In that situation I would likely leave 15% or maybe only 10% if the service was really deplorable. Of course, if I am some place such as Paris where service is included in the price, I would do as is customary in France by leaving only a small amount. I am annoyed by the noise of small children in nicer restaurants, but it can usually be avoided by dining at a later hour. In the USA we are more casual than.in Europe except in the finer restaurants, but I always try to look respectable and dress appropiately for the particular restaurant. Climate can affect how people should dress too. The most disgusting behavior I have ever witnessed occurred before smoking became prohibited in public places. I joined a colleague for a business luncheon. He lit a cigarette after the meal and after smoking extinguished it on his dirty plate before the table was cleared!
I am embarrassed for those limited in profane vocabulary to a single adjective.
Don't ever ask them to curtail their language, they'll get back at you by using more profanity.
The way you Smell Also adds to the Atmosphere... Take a bath First!
Would love to see a video on gentlemen’s lounge/comfort wear or alternatives to sweat pants
Traveling shows that manners are culturally relative. I was recently at a hotel restaurant in Dubai where a family elected to sit on the floor and eat with their hands. Nobody was batting an eyelid at this and so I guess they see it frequently. The table next to me had picked up a large quantity of fruit from the buffet and while eating this they spread the fruit skins and cores all over the table, requiring the waiter to use a dustpan and brush to clear the table and then swab it down, but before he could finish this job the next diners had already sat down. And then there's the loud slurping of everything from soup to pasta. Sometimes I'm glad that a restaurant has a hubbub of loud conversation as it covers up the disgusting noises some people make while they eat. I rarely choose to eat out these days, preferring my own company.
So when we returned to the US after living 15 years in Europe (my adolescence years), I was embarrassed when people would complain to the wait staff about something on their plates. Took me awhile to get accustomed to it.
There’s nothing wrong with bringing an issue to the wait staff but many times people have no manners in doing so
Great points for consideration. Swearing and explicit conversations doesn't bother me if it's in a bar area of a pub, but in a family restaurant with kids around, that's frustrating. Any verbal grandstanding just makes the complainer look like a total braying donkey. Welcome to the U.S.! Thanks for bringing class along with you.
My Parents always took me to fine restaurants from the age of four on provided I dresses well an behaved properly. There was only a problem one, when my mother chose the wrong tie for me. She relented.❤
WELL SAID ... especially the revulsion over using toothpicks at the table (a habit of one of my old friends!) utterly disgusting !
Also, the best way to eat bread is to break off a mouthful by hand for consumption, rather than to take a bite.
Hence, the term,"breaking bread." ;-)
If you're travelling it's well worth researching the tipping culture. Italy has a very different approach from the US. Tipping is not expected in restaurants in Italy.
N-E-V-E-R double dipp!
I don't like service charges because it is often taxed!
Plus many times the waiter only recieve a small fraction.
And a 20 usd tip on a 100 usd bill is ridiculous.
20 dollars for maybe 15 minutes work, plus the receive their wages!
Outrageous.
However i will often pay 80 pence uk, on a £5 bill.
Loud, rude customers are always terrible. Brat kids that cause a ruckus, especially if they aren't taken outside or the restroom right away, need to stay home. Dress codes vary. If you're at a summer beach resort at a decent restaurant, it can mean a nice polo or something similar. At an upscale restaurant, especially for a special occasion or business meeting, nice attire, including a jacket and tie is always a good thing. Don't bitch about things. If you have a real problem, bring it to the manager;s attention, in private. Always tip well and treat the restaurant staff with respect.
#6. I always say better dressed up, than dressed down.
Hello Sir,
Would you ever revisit the video idea of helping young men lean into more stylish looks? I am a university student interested in dressing better and have taken great inspiration from your style transition. Your page has always been great at providing budget-friendly options while never compromising on quality. I appreciate all advice, like the video you created about stationery. I'm sure there are many more of your viewers in a similar situation to me.
Thank you!
If the server comes to take your order and you or someone else in your party hasn’t decided yet, it’s perfectly OK to politely say you need a couple more minutes. Don’t, however, just sit there and agonize or waffle about your decision. You’re wasting the server’s time and probably embarrassing others in your party. Also, make sure you are in fact ready by the time they come back if you’ve already asked them to give you that extra time. Especially these days, when you can generally look at the menu online before even leaving the house, there’s really no excuse for being unprepared when it’s time to order
Honestly when it comes to children, it depends, because I myself was with my parents to restaurants all the time, and I wasn't a hyper active kid, neither bored. I think it also matters the enviroment you are grown into.
Like you, I don't have kids, but if I did, I would take them to an appropriate restaurant (pizzeria, etc) when old enough, as it would teach them social skills and manners (please, thank you etc)... Things they may not pick up from kids their own age or in the playground. I would rather do this than palm them off onto a babysitter who they may not be happy with. The exception to this rule of o course, is if it were an anniversary or milestone birthday. I love your channel BTW!
I once went to a very nice restaurant with up market menu and I ordered my meal I was with a family member during the meal. I managed while trying to avoid picking up sweetcorn noring away at it said sweetcorn went ping off my plate and landed on the floor so i used humour to prevent any embarrassment to myself or other people in the restaurant by saying well that one got away from me humour can be a great way of talking through tricky situations provided you don’t use profanity
I tip based on service 15% regular 20% good, and less for poor service.
Nice Poster. I`m actually born in Weimar so if you are a Fan you must visit our little city in the future! 😁
Can’t make any of these mistakes if I don’t go out 😏 (I’d rather cook myself, and most restaurants in my area are just crap and expensive, Alaska hardly has any good restaurants, yes I am Alaskan)
Among Chinese and Taiwanese, they will use toothpicks but cup their hands over their mouth so as to be somewhat courteous. It's probably best, though, to do it in the restroom.
I agree with this one. If you feel you got an extra serving jammed between two teeth, you can't go running to the bathroom every 15 minutes. Cup with one hand as if you're about to cough, do the deed, and just like a magician, hide that toothpick. You can be quite good at it with practice. No one will ever know.
I can’t stand profane language in public. There was a time when that type of language stayed at home. Today it’s everywhere! Language, t-shirts, bumper stickers.
1. People who raise their hand and wave to "summon" to get the attention of their wait-person or worse, to ask another server to have 'your server' come to the table because they want something. 2. Ordering a drink before dinner: it is common for a server to come to the table, introduce him or her self and initially say, "Can I bring you something to drink"? I feel people should anticipate this before they enter a decent restaurant so they can tell the waitperson what wine, beer or alcohol they prefer (or if they simply want water, coffee or iced tea). Making a big production and saying "um, well, oh gee I just don't know... etc." drives me nuts (and I'm sure the server too). If you're unsure about something, please simply say, "Could you recommend a good ... (white, red, sparking wine, dark beer, type of single malt Scotch, etc.)"?
#2 Service charge: The service charge should be blatantly obvious, so I know what I am paying. Be sneaky, I will pay it silently, and NEVER return!
#3 Tipping: 15% for common service. 5% or less for poor, 20% and way up for creating a wonderful experience. NEVER encourage poor service
Never complain about bad food, just don' eat it. Don't ruin your own evening. What you get next may have spit in it.
This was excellent. Thank you, James. One thing Americans need to be reminded of is NO HATS while eating. Sadly, this has become somewhat acceptable in American culture. I've seen men wearing hats in all types of restaurants...No, no.
You mentioned the man complaining about the service fee. I would generalize that to not complaining, even amongst your own party, about menu item pricing and such. It’s just kind of tacky
What a privilege it would be to sit a few seats from David Mamet
Wearing hats!
Wonderful advice! The degradation of class and manners in the U.S. is especially disturbing. So good job as a young gentleman to promote a classy way of living….
I have to agree With scratching @ss and belching including farting and emptying out the dining room. Happens often on Cruise Ships😮.
Toothpiking is something that we should do not only in the restrooms but with lights off! I have seen people flossing at the table...
Hats and sunglasses in a restaurant is not classy.
Some of us HAVE cancer, assh[]le!!
I think they’re exceptions to the rule.
There are rules for hats. If you are entering a "private" space, you remove your hat, but in a public space, hats are allowed. For instance, the waiting room at a doctor's office is public, so hats are fine, but once you enter the exam room area (usually through a door), the hat should be removed. Meal times become private areas once you are seated, so hats should be removed at the table. Outdoor seating breaks these rules due to sunlight exposure.
I had a car accident head injury and have to wear shades indoor for migraines-bright lights… I always feel bad as other judge me and other try not to wear my health needs but only at causing myself pain…
so since the person above talked cancer, let’s just forgot what other people wear to restaurants, and stick to judging only out of control attitudes , to waiters or partners, and loud volumes shall we.
@@voozoo1606 For what is a small minority of all men currently wearing hats in restaurants, exemption granted. Even for the rest, doing it out of bad habit rather than medical necessity, no one other than Tony Soprano should be actually walking up and insisting a man remove his hat anyway, it's fine we've moved past confrontationalism. If anyone is mistakenly taking you for one of the latter when you're one of the former, you'll never know it as long as they keep their traps shut.
I take issue with #3. Americans are suffering from tip fatigue, especially when presented with an electronic tablet that has pre set tip amounts. I got to thinking about tipping while dining out. If I ordered a hamburger that cost $20 and tipped 20% for the service vs. ordering a filet that cost $60 and tipping the same percentage, yet the service level was the same, why should I tip a set percentage of the bill. If US restaurants would pay staff a living wage as in the EU, then this would not be an issue. Until then, I will tip what I feel appropriate, regardless of the total amount on the bill.
A good tip in life is to always have more dignity than money and never the other way around. As you grow richer grow your manners as well
Well dress at a restaurant. Here in Puerto Rico nobody follow that simple rule.
What a shame, because well-dressed Puerto Ricans are among the most attractive people on the planet!
I‘m often surprised how basic things like keeping the mouth shut while chewing or not licking oneselves fingers are alien even to upper class individuals nowerdays. I always shiver in disgust from such rudeness.
One disagreement -I am an older gentleman and many years ago my parents wanted to take me in as a young child maybe a bit above toddler , the waiter said politely to my parents they didn’t normally have children as guests, but my parents assured them I would be quiet and just eat -he allowed it, and I just ate happily -if there is rule in the restaurant that’s one thing and even here exceptions can be granted, but otherwise a child if known to be well behaved should not have to be banned just because it’s a date or business meeting type adults restaurant /money is still green -of course it’s no place for screaming babies however 5:05
The use of the speaker on your phone in any way is my most hated modern behavior. Playing movies taking calls ext.
I would never dare bringing my children to Dorsia.
You forgot the number 1 rude behaviour.. being on your cell phone, or putting in on the table. I see it all the time and am just amazed how many people still do this totally unaware of how rude it is.
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People who swear in public should face jail sentences, staff should not tolerate it and should call the police.
licking a knife is so uncouth
Licking ANYTHING at the table is uncouth.
As a gentleman, would you EVER confront a fellow diner for their terrible behaviour?
I once had to do this to someone who was loudly shouting into their phone, I didn't enjoy it.
Yes, I would, particularly if it was bothering my date or other guests at my table. However, confrontation can be done politely.
I'm curious of people's thoughts on this. One thing I've seen some people do at restaurants is sniff their food before putting their fork/spoon in their mouth. And I don't mean, sniffing in a way where the person is clearly enjoying the aroma of the food, but rather, it's a suspicious smell, like they're expecting to find something wrong with it. And it's not because there's anything wrong with the food, the person just doesn't seem to think they'll like it. Honestly, it just comes off as childish to me. It just looks like a toddler that's being scolded into eating their broccoli. Am I alone in this?
When some clients are speaking loudly through the mobile phone. That, s really annoying!
A mistake a gentleman should never make in a restaurant is to not be in a pleasant mood- as we all know the restaurant experience is at least 60% your companion's behaviour (far more than the food ,service or even other diners ) . So ,especially on a date , be in a positive mood ,smile , laugh , take time to be interested in what the lady says and relax .Dont look at your phone ( I see this amazingly a lot with couples dining and wonder why they went out) and dont talk about things you know the lady will not be interested in (probably sport, politics and your work in detail)
Lately, I've been more disgusted at behavior of restaurant STAFF than I am at behavior of patrons. Some examples: Hurrying me along, using improper English ('we don't got that here"), and asking me when I pay at the cash register if I want my change (eg, when the bill was $55.23 and I paid $56.00 cash). There is now this undercurrent that every server expects AT LEAST a 20% tip for minimal, mediocre service, even at a breakfast place. It goes along with the American "participation trophy" mentality and the sense of entitlement here. I really don't enjoy dining out anymore. I think I'm done with it, actually.