Much of my work is devoted to reducing unnecessary suffering. However, not all suffering is unnecessary. So what is the appropriate response to the necessary and unavoidable suffering that we must all experience at some points in our lives? The answer comes through observing a horse in the rain - who does nothing to make his situation any worse than it already is. When we stop fighting our circumstances internally, we are more likely to recognize - and seize - opportunities to escape, if and when they present themselves. Buy my book, "The Value of Others" Ebook: amzn.to/460uGrA Audiobook: amzn.to/3YfFwbx Paperback: amzn.to/3xQuIFK Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Subscribe to my newsletter: oriontarabanpsyd.com Social Media TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@oriontaraban Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Website: oriontarabanpsyd.com Orion's Theme: th-cam.com/video/WrXBzQ2HDEQ/w-d-xo.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: th-cam.com/channels/SduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXw.htmljoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #mentalhealth #resilience
Especially enjoyed the part about the Bison. ( I had tentative plans for building my own Bison ranch years back, but ended up not inheriting the land from that extended family member as expected.) 🌫🌫🌧⛈️🦬 ⛈️🌧🌦🌥🌤☀️
A few years ago I found a video on my girlfriend's phone of her and another man post coitus. I was devastated and I knew I should have broken up with her but I didn't. She apologized and said it was an old video. At the time I knew I was just delaying the pain and eventually we would break up. Like a dummy I married her a year later after the video incident. We are now going through divorce. I convinced myself I could forgive her but I never forgave myself for being weak. I say all this to say don't delay the pain it doesn't do any good. I'm doing well and taking one day at a time. I have to remember that I am a prize.
I would say precision in language is important. No suffering is "necessary.". It's correct, however, to say that some suffering is unavoidable. Even for one who has reached a high degree of enlightenment.
Probably one of his most pragmatic videos to date. Resiliency in life is so crucial. Most people cannot begin to understand that most of life is pain and suffering, let alone how to cope with it.
The onset of social media makes it worse because it gives a false sense of control and perfection due to posting highlights in life giving the perception that life is perfect. I’m not young so this doesn’t bother me but I think it’s really affecting the younger population giving rise to the depression/and suicidal rates we see today.
@@marianodiaz6317 Exactly. It's not the situation, but how you think about it. Yes! It can be painful, but you don't have to suffer with things like: Why does this always happen to me, or similar.
I think this is wise and fair advice as far as it goes, however does not recognise that a number of situations in life don't contain a black and white way for you to clearly and easily categorise them as in the "necessary and unavoidable" box. So, you don't always know if actually you need to endure this, or the right result is to fight it, and in so doing, you find a way out and the suffering in hindsight is proven to be unnecessary and avoidable. A real example is my divorce, and the laws being such as they are, the situation presenting in the unavoidable suffering class to me and everyone I consulted, but my entire body revolting from the experience and in fight or flight mode and saying, no, this can't be, and this isn't survivable, you must not accept this fatalistically. I listened more to that, and eventually found a lawyer with a completely different strategy, and it literally saved my life, and I'm now facing an incredible future. None of this was possible while I was accepting what appeared to be unavoidable suffering. So I'm just saying, it's good advice for many situations, but the challenge is being sure which situation you are in, or you could have a much harder time of it than you need to - this can be the difference between life and death. Orion is a smart guy so maybe he could do a video on "how you know which you're in" in follow up.
I can tell you that abiding the suffering until it abates is exactly how you get through chemotherapy, which I finished (12 sessions) just last week. Now I just have to wait out the side effect of severe neuropathy. Absolutely no fun, but here I am, seven months passed and only a couple more to go as I still need to endure some testing to ensure the cancer is gone and then go back into the hospital for surgery to reverse the damn colostomy bag I’ve been wearing for seven months. Horse in rain, waiting on a sunny day.
Prayed for you. My sister has severe neuropathy & i've personally seen people come through exactly the situation you're going though out to the sunny side. Don't let that rain extinguish your hope--fan it's flames, or if you're ever too weak to do that, keep letting people like Orion help do it.
The eagle is a good example...unlike most other birds who flee or take shelter, Eagles often will seek out the storm as it utilizes it to travel greater distances and other benefits that it can bring, instead of fearing it, it utilizes it for the benefits that it can offer.
I’m sorry to hear this. She will be in my prayers. Please be sure she sees a priest or minister in her last illness to ease her pain and anxiety and her path to the afterlife.
@@vicknairfirm Agree. If she's under a Hospice companies care/oversight, as my Mom was the last week or so of her life, they have a Chaplain who is happy to come visit & pray for/with her. Ours even played his guitar & sang a song at my Mom's funeral & delivered a beautiful message along with the main speaker.
Just another way of saying what Paul said in Phil 4:11 - "for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." He wrote that in prison. 👍
Oh, I love this, and I agree, Orion. My husband of 38 years passed unexpectedly last year, so I know about suffering. I'm a horse in the rain. The weather is going to change. ❤
A beautifully crafted video explaining the first line of the serenity prayer: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference" Managing stress is often a choice but it sure ain't easy to do. Love to all.
And then he adds that when you are In such a situation because crazy enough to lean on the side you can because more often than not you will..... He concludes that "things seem impossible until it's done " by Nelson Mandela
There is a great prayer which I know from AA: "God, grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference". I've been sober for 32 years now.
Orion, I don’t know if you’ll see this comment, but this is one of your videos that I revisit every 2-3 days. It has been a tremendous help in guiding me through the struggles of my personal life. While those struggles remain, thanks to this video, so do I-ready to face them.
Time is a great healer. Start striving for new goals while in your trauma and then hopefully that ends the chapter on your trauma and starts a new chapter of success and happiness.
This is actually good advice. Basically, face your fears and do not be avoidant. We suffer when we don't accept reality, and we wish things were different than they actually are.
Beautiful very well said. We live in a time where it’s a badge of honor to brag about wallowing in dispair. Sometimes there’s nothing we can do but just stay stoic and as the famous saying goes. This too shall pass.
Hey Dr Taraban, I love all of your work. I wish you would make more videos like this. I feel like you have a vast amount of knowledge and experience that could be used to teach others beyond just the topic of mating and dating. I’d love if you put out more content on the various lived experiences you’ve had and what you learned from it.
Control what you can and stop trying to control what you cannot. This way at least mentally you won't have to fight 2 separate battles. You are not only losing trying to control the uncontrollable....but are also needlessly stressing yourself.
This is good preaching here. Really good. I was in some nasty situations and I eas able to get through them by maintaining the correct attitude for as long as I could and accepted it fully. I also knew that one day that the situation was gonna improve. I played out the worst case scenario in my head wrapped my head around that, accepted that, and moved forward. The good side is that it usually went better than the worst case. Good thing.😂
"Stop persisiting on your preferences for the present moment" - that's it, that's totally what bothers. An urge to not be in a certain state of mind and being mad for it not changing. Nice.
I confess: That’s one of the most useful eposides you’ve made. I love animal-based analogies as an instrument to diagnose and treat human struggles. Thank you
I lost my first dog unexpectedly yesterday, I’ve been watching your channel for a while and this is the first video it served me this morning. I now understand why I felt like I was just stuck in neutral yesterday. While I couldn’t change anything I had to just focus on existing.
Thank you for sharing the video about a horse in the rain. Your insight is truly profound. The analogy is incredibly powerful. It's like being the calm in a storm - demonstrating that the weather will change, but one doesn't have to change with the weather. The horse represents such remarkable resilience. The imagery speaks volumes about patience, similar to a patient suffering and waiting to get better. There's a beautiful lesson in simply enduring, understanding that forceful intervention might potentially make a situation worse. The video beautifully illustrates that sometimes the most powerful action is non-action - staying steady, remaining centered, and trusting that challenging moments will pass. I'm genuinely grateful you shared this perspective. It definitely provides a meaningful lens for navigating life's challenges. Thank you again for this enlightening insight.
I have 3 words written in my wall! Patience Fearless Open-minded Like a horse in the rain, I remain calm in the storm , actually I dance in the rain 🌧️ 😊
"Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain. And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields. And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief."
YESSS as a fellow therapist Radical Acceptance is the greatest concept I’ve ever learned in getting through great periods of suffering! There’s nothing more I love than to pass this along!
As someone who spends too much time worrying about things that have yet to happen and giving too much energy to things I can’t control, this was very helpful. Also, the point you made about shivering in the cold is something I’ve been doing since I was a kid and it works!
My mom is currently in the throws of Alzheimer's, and there's nothing that I or my family can do about it. All we can do is care for her and watch it happen. It's like being strapped into a roller-coaster you don't want to be on.
This reminds me of the adage that helped me out "90% of the unhappiness is because the world isn't the same as it was yesterday" Things are never going to be the same forever so don't dwell on it.
It is what it is. Literally. I never understood how people give that phrase any flack. Because it’s helped me adopt the mindset of accepting my current situation as reality presented itself to me than however it could be. Whatever you do from there is totally up to you as you can either stay where you are or move forward like being stuck on the middle of nowhere.
This is what I always called "embrace the suck" it's always worked for me. In addition the lows make the normal and the highs by contrast on so much better. This is why I hike, workout go on long trips in developing countries and why I am a farmer.
❤Very helpful…please keep sharing these life skills videos for those of us who aren’t part of the dating world and still value your skilled expertise!😊
Be like the horse in the rain, stillness brings clarity. You may not be able to stay still until the rain is over however, making the better move can allow for a more peaceful and quicker recovery.
Sound advice, Orion. Got me thinking and I found one exception from my own recent life. In 2020, I was let go rather unexpectedly and as you can imagine, Covid lockdowns were not a good time to look for a new job. My first option was to simply send as many offers as I could and then wait for someone to notice me. But I did something else. I actively went on to learn new skills so that I could reach out to a larger pool of job possibilities. I'm still profiting from that learning dash because I learned stuff that is really useful in my current job. So I'm not disagreeing with what you say, but in my particular case, waiting silently wasn't the best option.
Your videos have made an impression and helped me grow; pragmatic insight that sometimes we just need reminded-paired with great tips and helpful guidance, thanks a lot!! Paps would always say we already know the answeres within-just have to listen to self. Here’s another one, grow and help others grow. :) Ordered “the value of others” on Amazon, not much of a book reader but really looking forward to!
I truly love this episode. So many of my own problems, I brought upon myself for not just waiting out an impossible situation. Sometimes fighting it is the wrong decision. The key is knowing when to fold them.
Very much needed this sir, Thank you very much Been thinking of World War 3, Famine, Apocalypse, Civil War, Societal Collapse lately. This idea will help me cope with that situation.
Brilliant! Buddha called it patient acceptance. Stoics call it amor fati. Rumi says, walk towards the fire not away from it. I'll have to play this over and over.
Your simple analogies are really helpful. I've heard the common version of this technique as "sit with the pain", but that just feels like an incomplete advice. "until when?" "but I don't want to" I guess that kind of language is needed when you don't want to piss off a paying customer! The tough love approach works well for me :)
Hey there Doc, not sure the same with horses as cattle, but cattle generally stand together with their tails to the wind! When life's cold wind blows, turn your back to it and hunker down with friends and family!
In general this is good advice, however it is important to remember that to do nothing or to take no action at all in times of crisis, and rather be patient is also not necessarily a good strategy either, to act or not act should really be situational depending on the circumstances that arise and you will have to choose the optimal reaction accordingly which you personally feel will be most appropriate to facilitate the desired outcome
Much of my work is devoted to reducing unnecessary suffering. However, not all suffering is unnecessary. So what is the appropriate response to the necessary and unavoidable suffering that we must all experience at some points in our lives? The answer comes through observing a horse in the rain - who does nothing to make his situation any worse than it already is. When we stop fighting our circumstances internally, we are more likely to recognize - and seize - opportunities to escape, if and when they present themselves.
Buy my book, "The Value of Others"
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #mentalhealth #resilience
Especially enjoyed the part about the Bison. ( I had tentative plans for building my own Bison ranch years back, but ended up not inheriting the land from that extended family member as expected.) 🌫🌫🌧⛈️🦬 ⛈️🌧🌦🌥🌤☀️
A few years ago I found a video on my girlfriend's phone of her and another man post coitus. I was devastated and I knew I should have broken up with her but I didn't. She apologized and said it was an old video. At the time I knew I was just delaying the pain and eventually we would break up. Like a dummy I married her a year later after the video incident. We are now going through divorce. I convinced myself I could forgive her but I never forgave myself for being weak. I say all this to say don't delay the pain it doesn't do any good. I'm doing well and taking one day at a time. I have to remember that I am a prize.
Lovely video
P.S. This was a message in due season. I needed to hear it. Thank you. That was so good!
I would say precision in language is important. No suffering is "necessary.". It's correct, however, to say that some suffering is unavoidable. Even for one who has reached a high degree of enlightenment.
“A man often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it.”
-Jean de la Fontaine
Striking quote😮stopped me in my tracks, first time I read it.
@@Clockwork.Lemon854 watch Kung Fu panda
@@zoraster3749 Master Ugui also says it in Kung Fu Panda lol
👏👏
Like Edipo mith
Probably one of his most pragmatic videos to date. Resiliency in life is so crucial. Most people cannot begin to understand that most of life is pain and suffering, let alone how to cope with it.
The onset of social media makes it worse because it gives a false sense of control and perfection due to posting highlights in life giving the perception that life is perfect. I’m not young so this doesn’t bother me but I think it’s really affecting the younger population giving rise to the depression/and suicidal rates we see today.
As Buddha said "Pain is innevitable, suffering is optional"
@@marianodiaz6317 Exactly. It's not the situation, but how you think about it. Yes! It can be painful, but you don't have to suffer with things like: Why does this always happen to me, or similar.
People make fun of stuff by calling it cope. But cope goes along with survive. Better to cope than not.
I think this is wise and fair advice as far as it goes, however does not recognise that a number of situations in life don't contain a black and white way for you to clearly and easily categorise them as in the "necessary and unavoidable" box. So, you don't always know if actually you need to endure this, or the right result is to fight it, and in so doing, you find a way out and the suffering in hindsight is proven to be unnecessary and avoidable. A real example is my divorce, and the laws being such as they are, the situation presenting in the unavoidable suffering class to me and everyone I consulted, but my entire body revolting from the experience and in fight or flight mode and saying, no, this can't be, and this isn't survivable, you must not accept this fatalistically. I listened more to that, and eventually found a lawyer with a completely different strategy, and it literally saved my life, and I'm now facing an incredible future. None of this was possible while I was accepting what appeared to be unavoidable suffering. So I'm just saying, it's good advice for many situations, but the challenge is being sure which situation you are in, or you could have a much harder time of it than you need to - this can be the difference between life and death. Orion is a smart guy so maybe he could do a video on "how you know which you're in" in follow up.
I can tell you that abiding the suffering until it abates is exactly how you get through chemotherapy, which I finished (12 sessions) just last week. Now I just have to wait out the side effect of severe neuropathy. Absolutely no fun, but here I am, seven months passed and only a couple more to go as I still need to endure some testing to ensure the cancer is gone and then go back into the hospital for surgery to reverse the damn colostomy bag I’ve been wearing for seven months. Horse in rain, waiting on a sunny day.
Stay strong!
Prayed for you. My sister has severe neuropathy & i've personally seen people come through exactly the situation you're going though out to the sunny side. Don't let that rain extinguish your hope--fan it's flames, or if you're ever too weak to do that, keep letting people like Orion help do it.
I'm sorry you had to go through that but I'm hoping that you'll come out the other side healthy and strong. I'll pray for you.
Most people don't know what is suffering. Thx for sharing. Stay strong !
Add more fat to your diet . The myelin sheaths have been damaged .
Great video. Simply put “When you’re going through hell, keep going”.
Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning how to dance in the rain. (A great quote and philosophy)
Nice!
That's why drugs were invented, some 10,000 years ago...
@@gorankovacevic673"Wanna get high?" -Towelie
@@gorankovacevic673 yes but dancing will go to lying down drenched very quick haha
The eagle is a good example...unlike most other birds who flee or take shelter, Eagles often will seek out the storm as it utilizes it to travel greater distances and other benefits that it can bring, instead of fearing it, it utilizes it for the benefits that it can offer.
Yes! “It’s your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself that determines how your life’s story will develop.” ― Dieter F. Uchtdorf
My mother is dying of cancer and I just broke up with my girlfriend. I needed this.
Sorry to hear that. Mine died almost 6 months ago. Prayers for you. Hang in there, man.
Hang in there mate
I’m sorry to hear this. She will be in my prayers. Please be sure she sees a priest or minister in her last illness to ease her pain and anxiety and her path to the afterlife.
@@vicknairfirm Agree. If she's under a Hospice companies care/oversight, as my Mom was the last week or so of her life, they have a Chaplain who is happy to come visit & pray for/with her. Ours even played his guitar & sang a song at my Mom's funeral & delivered a beautiful message along with the main speaker.
@@IfSemper this is a great service and story. Thanks.
Just another way of saying what Paul said in Phil 4:11 - "for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."
He wrote that in prison. 👍
really like the bison in the blizzard part, reminiscent of obstacle is the way.
As we say in the military “embrace the suck”. One of the best lessons for a man to learn.
Oh, I love this, and I agree, Orion. My husband of 38 years passed unexpectedly last year, so I know about suffering. I'm a horse in the rain. The weather is going to change. ❤
Sorry for your loss.
@@IfSemper thank you, kind human.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
A beautifully crafted video explaining the first line of the serenity prayer:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference"
Managing stress is often a choice but it sure ain't easy to do. Love to all.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
@@DurovacVacuums it's from veritasium
It's from veritasium ❤
And then he adds that when you are In such a situation because crazy enough to lean on the side you can because more often than not you will..... He concludes that "things seem impossible until it's done " by Nelson Mandela
Right on time.
Thank you for donating, this video was so much needed in my broken life. Thanks to you and to the doctor
As a bereaved parent of 12 years, I approve of this message.
This is one I could watch again and again. It's hard and necessary to hear it, much needed in my life!
Insanely timely for me right now.
There is a great prayer which I know from AA: "God, grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and wisdom to know the difference". I've been sober for 32 years now.
👍👍👍
Brilliant ❤🎉
Orion, I don’t know if you’ll see this comment, but this is one of your videos that I revisit every 2-3 days. It has been a tremendous help in guiding me through the struggles of my personal life. While those struggles remain, thanks to this video, so do I-ready to face them.
Time is a great healer. Start striving for new goals while in your trauma and then hopefully that ends the chapter on your trauma and starts a new chapter of success and happiness.
Really depends on the severity. Disappointments in adulthood are very different from childhood SA.
which one would you say has a greater effect?
Avoidance is far better.
This is actually good advice. Basically, face your fears and do not be avoidant. We suffer when we don't accept reality, and we wish things were different than they actually are.
Nice analogy. Horses know more than they let on.
I love the videos that aren't about dating, this guy as a lot of knowledge I wish he made more vids like this.
This too shall pass.
Beautiful very well said. We live in a time where it’s a badge of honor to brag about wallowing in dispair. Sometimes there’s nothing we can do but just stay stoic and as the famous saying goes. This too shall pass.
Dr Orion... Thank you for your existence.
Kind of sounds like the underlying psychology of Stoicism. Very neat, thanks Doc.
The stoics got a lot of things right at that time, that I'm truly impressed. What happened after the stoics?
They were replaced by a weird imported desert cult.
@@planetary-rendez-vous people got arrogant and bolder.
@@planetary-rendez-vousChristianity took over
@@planetary-rendez-vousNihilism happened
Admitted to the hospital with a broken arm and this pops up❤
Be patient 😂
This video came at the perfect time
This guy knows his stuff
This is an excellent illustration. I’ve been living like a horse in the rain in an area of my life. It has served me well.
So true. Took me 45 years to understand this!
One nice feature of being cold is that it's a great opportunity to get some hard physical work done without overheating :)
Exactly .... spot on!
Cold weather and cold shower after a hard days work is great
🍔
Truthsmiles,
Exactly! A hard days work in cooler weather followed by a cold shower is awesome! 🍔
Hey Dr Taraban, I love all of your work. I wish you would make more videos like this. I feel like you have a vast amount of knowledge and experience that could be used to teach others beyond just the topic of mating and dating. I’d love if you put out more content on the various lived experiences you’ve had and what you learned from it.
Control what you can and stop trying to control what you cannot.
This way at least mentally you won't have to fight 2 separate battles.
You are not only losing trying to control the uncontrollable....but are also needlessly stressing yourself.
Sometimes surrendering to life is the best way to live a great life
7 months out of a breakup this is old news but always good to hear
Thanks!
Easily one of your best videos, this will resonate with all walks of life. Great analogies as usual!
This is good preaching here. Really good.
I was in some nasty situations and I eas able to get through them by maintaining the correct attitude for as long as I could and accepted it fully.
I also knew that one day that the situation was gonna improve.
I played out the worst case scenario in my head wrapped my head around that, accepted that, and moved forward. The good side is that it usually went better than the worst case. Good thing.😂
I needed this video about 2 years ago when my divorce started.
@@vtmegrad98 right there with you 💪🏼
Bless you.
"Stop persisiting on your preferences for the present moment" - that's it, that's totally what bothers. An urge to not be in a certain state of mind and being mad for it not changing. Nice.
Thank you so much for laying out sound arguments for 'patiently waiting for the unavoidable suffering to pass'
I confess: That’s one of the most useful eposides you’ve made. I love animal-based analogies as an instrument to diagnose and treat human struggles.
Thank you
I bought the book.. buy it people .. very fun read or listen..it's not just a boring lecture . It's entertaining knowledge
I lost my first dog unexpectedly yesterday, I’ve been watching your channel for a while and this is the first video it served me this morning. I now understand why I felt like I was just stuck in neutral yesterday. While I couldn’t change anything I had to just focus on existing.
Thank you for sharing the video about a horse in the rain. Your insight is truly profound.
The analogy is incredibly powerful. It's like being the calm in a storm - demonstrating that the weather will change, but one doesn't have to change with the weather. The horse represents such remarkable resilience.
The imagery speaks volumes about patience, similar to a patient suffering and waiting to get better. There's a beautiful lesson in simply enduring, understanding that forceful intervention might potentially make a situation worse.
The video beautifully illustrates that sometimes the most powerful action is non-action - staying steady, remaining centered, and trusting that challenging moments will pass.
I'm genuinely grateful you shared this perspective. It definitely provides a meaningful lens for navigating life's challenges.
Thank you again for this enlightening insight.
So much wisdom, so helpful and smart. Tks Dr. Taraban.
I so appreciate your metaphors. They're great images for me, and easier for my neurodivergent brain to pull up in the moment.
I have 3 words written in my wall!
Patience
Fearless
Open-minded
Like a horse in the rain, I remain calm in the storm , actually I dance in the rain 🌧️ 😊
4 words, but yes!
@@CarlWithACamera true 😆
I think it’s usually spelled with a hyphen, so it’s “open-minded,” so still three words. 😂
@@dougk7075 you’re right!
Minunat. Pace și iubire. 🌟
"Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain. And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy; And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields. And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief."
A good lesson in stoicism
A very powerful episode. Thanks Orion
YESSS as a fellow therapist Radical Acceptance is the greatest concept I’ve ever learned in getting through great periods of suffering! There’s nothing more I love than to pass this along!
I haven't seen your videos in so long because I've been reading your book. Thank you.
Nothing persists indefinitely.
Thanks for this.
As someone who spends too much time worrying about things that have yet to happen and giving too much energy to things I can’t control, this was very helpful. Also, the point you made about shivering in the cold is something I’ve been doing since I was a kid and it works!
Sometimes you choose to be a horse in rain to be better . Thanks for another awesome video... ❤
That bison analogy was dope
My mom is currently in the throws of Alzheimer's, and there's nothing that I or my family can do about it. All we can do is care for her and watch it happen. It's like being strapped into a roller-coaster you don't want to be on.
I'm so sorry you and your family have to go through that.
@@TL-vp8uh Thank you.
This reminds me of the adage that helped me out "90% of the unhappiness is because the world isn't the same as it was yesterday" Things are never going to be the same forever so don't dwell on it.
It is what it is. Literally. I never understood how people give that phrase any flack. Because it’s helped me adopt the mindset of accepting my current situation as reality presented itself to me than however it could be. Whatever you do from there is totally up to you as you can either stay where you are or move forward like being stuck on the middle of nowhere.
This is what I always called "embrace the suck" it's always worked for me. In addition the lows make the normal and the highs by contrast on so much better. This is why I hike, workout go on long trips in developing countries and why I am a farmer.
Holy cow this content is gold. Ill definitely be listening to your book asap
Very insightful, thank you. Almost as valuable as your "Strike when the Iron is Cold theory" . I used that so often with my wife lately.
Thank you Doc. Maybe the most important advice I needed to hear up till this moment.
❤Very helpful…please keep sharing these life skills videos for those of us who aren’t part of the dating world and still value your skilled expertise!😊
'radical acceptance' is the key...thANK YOU ORION!
Like shivering in the cold, this video seems to be simple and dumb. But it is full, more than knowledge, of wisdom.
Thank you for your dedication.
The sun shines after every storm
Man this resonates deeply with me. Wish I had seen this a few weeks ago!
Be like the horse in the rain, stillness brings clarity. You may not be able to stay still until the rain is over however, making the better move can allow for a more peaceful and quicker recovery.
I will watch this video daily. Like a mantra, until I internalize it. Cheers from Brazil!
My favorite song from P.O.D. was their song It Can't Rain Every Day. Excellent message
Sound advice, Orion. Got me thinking and I found one exception from my own recent life. In 2020, I was let go rather unexpectedly and as you can imagine, Covid lockdowns were not a good time to look for a new job. My first option was to simply send as many offers as I could and then wait for someone to notice me. But I did something else. I actively went on to learn new skills so that I could reach out to a larger pool of job possibilities. I'm still profiting from that learning dash because I learned stuff that is really useful in my current job.
So I'm not disagreeing with what you say, but in my particular case, waiting silently wasn't the best option.
Thank you deeply, Orion
Needed to hear this. Had to suffer thru a dishonest service today even though i was a paying customer.
An absolute masterpiece of a video dear Ser!
Your videos have made an impression and helped me grow; pragmatic insight that sometimes we just need reminded-paired with great tips and helpful guidance, thanks a lot!! Paps would always say we already know the answeres within-just have to listen to self. Here’s another one, grow and help others grow. :) Ordered “the value of others” on Amazon, not much of a book reader but really looking forward to!
This applies to relationships as well. Control your emotions and you can avoid avoidable suffering.
I can relate to your wise pearls of wisdom
Much needed and appreciated
Thank you Orion 🕊️
I needed this.
Thank you.
I truly love this episode. So many of my own problems, I brought upon myself for not just waiting out an impossible situation. Sometimes fighting it is the wrong decision. The key is knowing when to fold them.
Very much needed this sir, Thank you very much
Been thinking of World War 3, Famine, Apocalypse, Civil War, Societal Collapse lately. This idea will help me cope with that situation.
“This too will pass”
Brilliant! Buddha called it patient acceptance. Stoics call it amor fati. Rumi says, walk towards the fire not away from it. I'll have to play this over and over.
Food for thought and great advice. Thanks
Very true. Much of addiction is aimed at avoiding present suffering, which only perpetuates it towards the future.
Your simple analogies are really helpful. I've heard the common version of this technique as "sit with the pain", but that just feels like an incomplete advice.
"until when?" "but I don't want to"
I guess that kind of language is needed when you don't want to piss off a paying customer! The tough love approach works well for me :)
Good analysis and advice.
It sounds pretty stoic.
Loved the book.
Hey there Doc, not sure the same with horses as cattle, but cattle generally stand together with their tails to the wind! When life's cold wind blows, turn your back to it and hunker down with friends and family!
I needed this so bad today. Thank you Sir.
Stoicism teaches a very similar lesson. Easily one of my favorite videos in your collection.
In general this is good advice, however it is important to remember that to do nothing or to take no action at all in times of crisis, and rather be patient is also not necessarily a good strategy either, to act or not act should really be situational depending on the circumstances that arise and you will have to choose the optimal reaction accordingly which you personally feel will be most appropriate to facilitate the desired outcome
I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate your channel. Learn a lot. And lots of stuff is stuff I knew and ignored. These are nice reminders
Powerful message. We create our own reality.