The cherry on top: women are luxury goods
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 18 ก.ย. 2024
- A client who believed that the juice isn't worth the squeeze once asked me what I personally get out of my relationships with women. This episode functionally summarizes my response, namely: a woman is the cherry on top. Strictly speaking, a cherry isn't necessary for a sundae - but it can help to perfect one. Making peace with the fact that modern women - like maraschino cherries - are luxury goods will help men withhold unreasonable expectations about what they can (and cannot) provide.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #dating #relationship
A client who believed that the juice isn't worth the squeeze once asked me what I personally get out of my relationships with women. This episode functionally summarizes my response, namely: a woman is the cherry on top. Strictly speaking, a cherry isn't necessary for a sundae - but it can help to perfect one. Making peace with the fact that modern women - like maraschino cherries - are luxury goods will help men withhold unreasonable expectations about what they can (and cannot) provide.
Buy my book, "The Value of Others"
Ebook: amzn.to/460uGrA
Audiobook: amzn.to/3YfFwbx
Paperback: amzn.to/3xQuIFK
Book a paid consultation:
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #dating #relationship
Thanks…I needed to hear this
Yes all true 💯
The missing part is what women might expect from Men. They expect men to provide their whole Sunday in terms of supporting them financially, emotionally and making them "happy."
So a man thinks he's getting the Cherry which is realistically all he can hope for. But in a long-term situation that cherry will go sour, take over the whole bowl of ice cream and ruin him.
To start with I do love these videos but I feel like as men, we are constantly evolving and leveling ourselves up, so while these interesting reflections on men and women I think we need more tools to achieve a higher and better self because more than knowing everything about relationships, we really just wanna be successful at it. I do believe I have received a lot of value from this channel and I look forward to seeing what comes next.
Thank you for doing that very rare thing: empowering men. Lots of takeaways.
absurdly priced luxury goods are begging to be substituted for.
Having owned very nice automobiles, my first thought nowadays when i hear "luxury good" is.... Maintenance!
Absolutely. Costly! The more perceived luxury “beauty”. The higher the maintenance cost. You must also keep that car around other luxury locations and people.
my father has an S-class Mercedes. $500 for a part to get the windshield wipers working. luxury.
and massive depreciation.
Yeah, but a good woman who loves you will want to add value by helping you in the maintainence of your Sundae, & assist you with future desserts you may want to build. : )
You've already built the damn sundae. Stop watching Disney movies.
Some of us found women early, in my case a fellow law student who was traditional and family oriented. She helped me mature and introduced me to many things I didn’t know due to my poor background and upbringing. We are now going on 35 years of marriage and have raised 2 great kids. Nothing is perfect, but perhaps we were the very lucky few who made it work with her adding tremendous value to my life from the beginning.
brah you hit the jackpot! happy for you
Congratulations to you both : )
Perhaps assortative mating (among people in professional schools) plays by diff rules.
It sounds like you disagree with the cherry metaphor. I know women are challenging, but I can't take this video title seriously. Do we not understand how babies work, how families work, how lineage works? Does this cherry have cocaine in it or something? Doesn't even come close to the significance a real relationship w a woman means.
Yeah, it is the same with me. We work as a team and she is one of the few persons I can trust.
She also does a lot of things, I didn't have to learn in the first place. Cooking, doing taxes, laundry etc.
I had someone you had my back, and I could focus on my career. Which I did and thus now bring in the cash, while she can enjoy her life doing a part time job she likes.
She is a bog part of why we both can live in wealthy circumstances.
"cherries should be fresh" is gonna trigger a lot of older women ...lol
🤣
😮😅
And not smell like fish.
Haha exactly.
Right, not be chewed up by others and then placed on top of my sundae for me to perceive as the fresh cherry on top.
Oh Man, This resonates hard, I've considered Women Luxury goods for YEARS!
same
Exactly it’s like buying the luxury care or watch.
Luxury in this case implies they're pricey, not high quality. Keep that in mind.
@@DJ_Mooseknucks think I phone for example 😂
Men are costly to women as well.
I just had a Sundae with no cherries and I'll tell you what
It was awesome
*Sundae
Autocorrect got you there
Hahaha
next time you shoult put 2 cherries on your "Sundae" man! ^_^
Ya but mine has a 🍒. There's levels 😊
Wish more guys had this mindset.
Well said, I think women amplify life. They make the good times better and the bad times worse.
It is interesting how you frame it
Well said. Man up and Follow your path , other men had it worse , being alone is actually enjoyable.
That's why, unless you want children, a man should NEVER sign a marriage contract with one.
Staying unmarried is a hedge against the downside.
@@pavementstoneguy I am beginning to ask myself why we don't create and offer our own marriage contracts to women. If companies are allowed to create their own contracts why can't or don't we.
@@PhilosophyMeetsPsychology Unfortunately, no matter what contract she signs, it will end up in family court, which is NOT a criminal court and they can throw out contracts, prenuptial agreements, ect. The judge in family court has all the power, so you are at their mercy 🥲
Great analogy Orion. Definitely an issue I had in my 20’s. Now in my early 30’s, I fully comprehend that only yourself, individually, can create and bring happiness and fulfillment to your own life.
Yeah, try creating a baby with out one though.😉
You can adopt @@GaryAJMartin
@@GaryAJMartin Not everyone wants kids.
@@fredsuccess Of course.
But some still do. Otherwise it’s humanity over. It’s the “elephant in the room” which seems to be overlooked on here.
@@GaryAJMartinwhat's so bad about human society being "over"🤷♂️
"A man to a woman is Necessity, A woman to a man is a luxury". That's what my uncle told me in year 2003.
So is your uncle a billionaire or living under a bridge or something in between? Some context is helpful here. 😉
This is a horrible analogy. This gives women power for existing and forces us to prove more and more just to be taken seriously. You should strive to be wanted rather than needed any day of the week
@@marcusmcgraw3519It's an apt analogy. Read it again
@@TheAustrianPainter87 again, horrible analogy. Why would a woman be more valuable just for existing? If you can’t answer my question then you’re going to lose this one
@@marcusmcgraw3519 It's not that. It's that women are a net loss for men in the material sense. You will almost never come out on top.
I once heard a veterinarian talk about some clients complaining about the costs: “ they should know that having pets is a luxury “, he said….
Having pets didn't used to be a luxury. You could just let the dog/cat hang around for scraps.
@@grantwithers Well that's not how it works anymore unless you're in rural area
I had that *exact* discussion with a w0man, a number of years ago. She changed her mind about meeting me, after I said i was not a fan of dogs. She was a dog owner.. My last communication with her, I used that *exact* phrase. I wished her luck finding *a man,* who would, ya know: care for her when she was sick, be a travel companion, provide financial resources when retired, etc.
I think horses are a good example of what was once a necessity becoming a luxury.
I often think that when I see a homeless person asking for money with a dog... I think, I wish I could afford a dog!
I can't believe this guy is 40 years old. We're the same age and he's teaching me things. I wish I had resources like this when I was in my twenties.. the analogies he uses on point.
He reads a lot. Most things worth saying have already been said, over and over. In an interview he mentioned that he reads more to the dead than the living, i.e. great works that have withstood the test of time.
He is a classic bitter man in his 40s.
He just has seen more nutcases than you have, because it is his job.
I'm 58 and I've learned more about relationships and women in the past year than I previously had during my whole life!
@@marguskiis7711Is he right or not?
Watch what happens to your bank account after getting rid of a girlfriend. It's all the evidence you need to realize they are luxury items.
The dialogue between Jack Reacher and the random club girl summarizes this whole point. Hookers are far cheaper, plus way less trouble and drama.
Dating to find one is even more expensive and time consuming
@@anisenkrill6179 they’re entitled to nothing though. If they spend so much of their own money, why reward them for being broke?
@@luckyjayakodywhich is exactly why it should be easier for men to ruthlessly dictate the terms and conditions to them. Create your value then tell them take it or leave it.
Between what influencers are telling women on one side and men on the other it's no wonder modern dating is a hellscape.
@@Bluesmoke4200 Most underrated comment. 💯
This is a young persons response and you mean well.
But how about it's what we've all been "taught" around feminism and that we've been "taught" with much venom to agree or else....for decades...that "the blank slate" is correct when we now know it's not. The blank slate states that men and women are formed by culture, not nature. We are somewhat of course formed by how we nurture and teach, of course, nobody is denying that. But we have found now through decades of research and new technology that male and female minds evolved differently too, not just do we have different bodies but those bodies being different led to our tasks being different and that led to our brains evolving different skill sets and interests.
Also, the "wage gap" #'s have been cooked for decades. When you account for hours worked, for degrees gotten and all the factors spelled out the gap simply isn't there. In fact women get more options for schooling and what is taught there and by who. They get quotas also for work, and HR favors them there.
You may not know this but for decades now men and culture walk on eggshells to dare simply disagree with a feminist talking point. This has normalized a deep psychological privilege in women without even knowing their own power and sway. So that makes it to simply hear criticism as women seems wrong, seems like that man must be bad or a loser.
What you're seeing and what is reported is of course the fallout from this, but only the negative on the male side of that story. Women we're incapable of being critical of. If we do we lose work and life, love. So men don't. And women are raised in this, normalized into never really hearing the male side of things, understanding we all of us are wrong in these huge ways we think about men and women (the blank slate and wage gap, please read up on these issues.)
"You don't need a cherry, to have a Sunday." Just that saying right there saved me years worth of overthinking
sundae
Thing is, going through the trouble of making the sundae isn't worth it for many men without a woman.
@@grantwithers exactly, a huge problem
Dude i love how orion breaks down women so professionally this is extremely high IQ red pill
It is sell out to the red pill losers.
Raising a family becoming a less and less standard choice is why things have gotten this way. Our society treats having children practically like deciding if you want a dog or not. "I don't like dogs, I'm not gonna get one." Before that, it was seen for both men and women as a duty to their family and society to procreate and raise a strong functional family, your social status depended on it.
Ironically, the free love movement and removing the social responsibility to maintain a healthy monogamous relationship and have children, is precisely what led to women now only being a luxury in a man's life and thus being treated as such. Securing a lasting relationship has never been harder for women. Even bringing a child into the picture does little to cement things when there is no real social repercussions to having a kid and leaving anymore, beyond paying child support.
Essentially, the entire initial reason for romantic love [edit: ...from a biological sense...] has been removed as a "progressive" move by society, and we no longer have any base to rely upon for those relationships beyond the feeling of love itself, which is subject to change from one day to the next. People start seeing it like, who wants to keep up maintenance on a car if you don't need it to get anywhere? As soon as it needs even an oil change, take it back to the dealership. When all you need another person for is some fun and excitement and a momentary feeling of companionship, you're likely to put that same little effort into the relationship.
Brilliantly and succinctly put. Thank you.
Well observed!
Well, if we stop having “dogs” bye bye humanity. Unless they can grow them in a machine. 😊
Well said. Unfortunately!
Incredibly distilled insights.
I was half-expecting Orion to say, “Only you can prevent forest fires.”
HAhahaha!!!
😅😂😅😂
Same! You have to be a certain age to anticipate that!
@@EliDwyer Yeah, I know it comes with the territory for me😅
😂😂😂😂😂 Good 1
Yup, as a man with almost everything he wants in life, I feel like women are more liabilities than not. I find them more enjoyable and loving when I’m on my dolly. Also, when you’re on top of your game as a man, being in a relationship can sometimes hinder you from reaching your true potential because you’re always compromising and can’t fully invest in yourself. Like a tiger losing its skills and instincts over time because it’s locked in a cage.
Dolly?
@@1Plebeian dolly = any girl or woman, esp. when attractive; also as a term of affection. He is on his dolly ( and maybe in as well)
@@apostolosderakis9840 dolly= slang term for saying “on my own”.
@@Khan-rz8qi so you meant DOLEY, and that is NY slang? I learned something new :)
@@apostolosderakis9840 word you already know🗽
I can’t afford women anymore. Financially and emotionally.
😂
🤣😂
I never could... I was priced out from the start..
Same realization I recently had. I could only afford my mortgage, retirement, and humble lifestyle. Not enough for a wife and kids. I live in SoCal.
women are equal to men in most countries so they can take care of themselves financially
For now on I will look myself in the mirror every morning and tell myself "I am the sundae"
🤣🤣🤣🤣 Fantastic
@@platinumcontent9 I love it
Nice one! 🤣
Picture a bunch of cherries waiting at the finish line, waiting to jump on top of the winning Sundae
apt
Two ways to approach a relationship with a woman. (1) Marry someone your age right out of college and build a life together. (2) In middle age, when successful, marry a woman much younger (Orion's "cherry."). Both can work. I'm 62 and my (third) wife is 31 and gorgeous. Do I need her? No. Can I divorce her any time I want? Yes, it will cost me a little, but so what. These days, the only time a woman really needs a man is when she is mid to late 30s and running out of time to have kids. Otherwise, she doesn't, and that's why women these days just aren't that hungry to be in a relationship, which is what Orion's client in this video is experiencing. Guys, be successful and be the one calling the shots. Tough? Sure. But that's life.
You can't choose to marry one and they don't want to build anything anymore. They want it all and offer nothing in return.
@@edheldudeyou are probably talking about the one specific country you are from. Sometimes you got to just open up and look around elsewhere and go where you are valued most.
I'm not taking any advice from a man that lost half his net worth twice and on track to lose it a third time
@@drwayne_carter9115 The first two made the same amount of money as me (one a top MBA, the other an eye surgeon). So no loss on either one. This one has a strict, enforceable, prenup. So don't make assumptions.
Wait ca 10 years and you will lose the wife.
Luxury goods are seriously depreciating assets. That is why I don't have any.
Good point, but not necessarily... Lots of Renaissance paintings hold their value. The billionaires wouldn't invest in them if they didn't.
@@agrxdrowflow958and very rare. Most women are not Renaissance paintings. Most are paint by number, hopefully done by someone with skill.
@@agrxdrowflow958 They are valuable because they are known by the whole world but owned by only one.
@@agrxdrowflow958 There are always exceptions. Can you afford to buy and hold a Renaissance painting?
@@agrxdrowflow958 You can't compare art with expensive cars, designer clothes, women. They're different things.
This damn near perfectly describes my experience before 30 and after 30
Homeslice, you need to write your autobiography and tell us what the hell happened during that exact 30th year. ;D
The idea that women are cherries to your life is solid, as long as you don’t want children.
When you bring children into the picture, they become part of the whole thing
True. But at the same time, don't "objectify them as baby production machines" etc etc etc ad nauseam.
Adopt. Or find a surrogate mom. Being in a relationship with a woman isn't necessary if all you want is kids
@@rayzerot In fairness, denying kids a mom is a pretty harsh step. I know single moms are happy to do that re: fathers but surely we're better than that?
@@sammyb1651I agree. Even if I do go the surrogate route, I would still want my son/daughter to have healthy life experiences with a motherly figure in their life on a consistent basis (and grandma isnt a suitable substitute, she deserves her own life at this point).
@@oneoone Agreed 100% mate!
True. Nice analogy. BTW a lot of women expect "founders equity" by going for men already on top, but why would a sane man oblige her? Women tend to go more and more for the same men, who won't commit as they too have options, and of course then complain that "all the good men are gone" ha ha. Never their fault. Meanwhile, good men are invisible to them.
Oh... So that's what happened with my ex, I was looking for a cherry, but instead found a turd that completely ruined my sunday :(
Johnny Depps burner account 😉
Kids, bro... a good woman who will help raise your kids right... is worth all gold in Erobor. Until you find her, I don't know what to say about the women in-between. 😂 Shout-out to the good women out there !!
He noted that he gave many a woman that chance, none took him up on that offer. As has happened to millions of men nowadays.
I'm 30 now, I've had success with women since my early twenties. I've been in love before and had my heart broken. Been in a handful of relationships and more hook ups than Id like to count. Women really are only worth putting up with to get access to sex. There are other benefits like the doctor mentioned. They can show you new experiences you wouldn't try yourself. It's nice to have someone to communicate with regularly. Cuddling is nice. But dealing with women's emotions and maintaining them is exhausting, just not worth it long term, not even touching on the risks that come with marriage
So true! Its NOT just the sex. "They can show you new experiences you wouldn't try yourself. It's nice to have someone to communicate with regularly. Cuddling is nice. But dealing with women's emotions and maintaining them is exhausting, just not worth it long term". All accurate, certainly including the last sentence!
U just haven’t attracted a high quality woman yet
@@Zzz-vh3mu Why are they different?
High quality is a myth. At best it’s an act that can’t be maintained
@@ronmexico5908 I mean your only chances of attaining one are a highschool relationship. Or being ridiculously smart or attractive. Or being over 6 foot, relatively attractive, well educated, and mid 7 figure net worth. So only a sliver of the male of the population (not you) actually has the wherewithal to succeed getting a young hot virgin or whatever other qualities they truly desire in a woman and having her obsessed with them.
"Long gone are the days when women were required to provide necessary value."
And there is the truth that you really need to think about hard!
"The Manipulated Man" by Esther Vilar!
An oldie but a goodie
@@lukenielsen8397 Thank you.
Enjoy the 'Play Things' of this life, when you choose to.
They are born with value that none of them preserve for the future. Men have to build and obtain value. We are not the same
"Vilar explains how it works: if women are viewed as weak, less is expected of them; and therefore they are given more leeway in society than men." So, is the "how much to expect from a cherry?" argument leading to more satisfactory relationships, especially for men?
raising kids IN the household.
fuck public education as it currently is.
When (most) women have ignored you, disrespected you or even ridiculed you when you were young, inexperienced and low on resources, it really makes you suspicious when the scale is finally tipping the other way. I know that they want something from me, and it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with my circumstances. Who in their right mind would actually give in to that? If you haven't by that time built up your own self esteem and respect, you will be an ideal object for exploitation.
Exactly correct 💯. And literally nobody shames women for using men for everything. But whenever a fling doesn't last - "no fair, he USED me!" 🤡
Never invite whamen into your life, if you can't be happy and satisfied with your life on YOUR own.
Amen
I don’t know, man. When you can’t successfully pair up with your biologically, given counterpart, maybe somethings up with you too
No problem tim, just date dudes!
Men will always have their hand for comfort 😅.
I apologize for being crass. For me, it's essentially about the sex.
That’s why countries where pros aren’t arrested have women who offer more than just sex. In the U.S. the govt artificially inflates women’s value
Yes, but that isn't as expensive as keeping a woman full-time. Research not long ago suggested that sex costs about $250 to $300 in most cultures (reasonably consistently allowing for different median income). That's as much as a good dinner for two. Orion has discussed the question of the huge opportunity cost if you are well-off to try to court women and get sex. You may be better to buy it when you need it, and leave it at that.
yes, the cherry
@@Nickelodeon81 With the sundaes you buy, the cherry was popped long ago.....
@@nwjh1957I know the whole idea of body count goes out the window then
not luxury, deluded narcissistic and a depreciating asset yet held on a gynocentric pedestal that enslaves many - go figure
Like all luxury goods, they easily and quickly break down, and need to be replaced by yet another expensive newer model.
closer to the truth. and remember the good doctor doesn't date american women.
Just 25 years ago women had to earn everything they had. Even the man. Now they offer value with their mere presence... Completely unstable society. And not just the society but the species itself has become unstable. It's equivalent to the air being a luxury good.
Nice you say? there's nothing nice about having an expensive prop being idle next to you for a few hours/ days.
And it is not wise to spend time, energy and money on luxury goods, even if you afford them. The future's very uncertain. It s better to save your time, energy and money and invest them into things that last.
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
I don't think it used to be like this, but I think it is like this now. Most women don't really offer much tbh. If you're a high value man, not necessarily rich but just a guy who has himself together and his life together well, you're going to have a tough time finding a woman who adds much to your life or even one that is worth keeping around. Not only that, but if you treat women as more than just a complement to your life, they lose interest in you anyway. Everything in this video is good advice. Thanks, Doc.
Self-sufficient men who can cook or do a lot for themselves don't really need any woman.
Sounds familiar. Masculism
This is an excellent analogy and I was just about to make the point at the end. I can confirm from my last several relationships that I really only wanted them to be a cherry, but once they were functionally rotten cherries, they not only ruined the relationship, they affected my overall life, and thus justified the breakups.
But with the help of this analogy, the next time I consider the relationship, I can very succinctly say something like "I have my life together, so a relationship with you would be like the cherry on top. Please don't be a rotten cherry."
The amount of mean B women that have men vs the sweet quiet woman is what boggles me. The hair, nails, eye lashes and heavy make up always has men. A smiling, no make up well kept woman usually is single. I laugh at men and their choices at times and continue living a happy life.
Sounds like you're confused about men's choices. Their penis uses their eyes and senses. You're welcome
@@joelarmour My friend has a brain tumor and a year to live. Her boyfriend isn't thinking of his penis, and he isn't looking at her as a sex object. Now he grieves because she'll be gone in a year. She is 35 years old. You're also welcome.
What
@@Susan-fg3nv what
You are correct. I'm over 50, and I do not fall for makeup anymore. I found a lady that doesn't wear makeup. But she's very logical, and no drama. She's an engineer working at a man's job. She's called " the hammer" at work. Tough. But when she's at home with me, she calls me daddy and I call her baby. She's 7 years younger than I am. We treasure each other. These made up ladies, I just see high maintenance.
This type of discussion makes more sense for people with no kids and no intention to have them. If you have kids with her, you will both quickly learn that you need each other a lot more than a sundae needs a cherry. It's not clear at all that people who don't want kids should marry. But being single with kids sucks.
I realize now that I watch these videos as a practice of gratitude for how incongruous these kinds of conceptualizations are to my life and most of those around me.
Amen. On the other hand, these kinds of conceptualizations stem probably from the fact that his experience has been less wholesome, unfortuntely. And now he is building a whole theory around it where people are described as “goods”. So sad
23 years ago, I bought a Honda. It wasn't thrilling, but it was reliable and served me well.
Now 23 years later, my Honda is requiring more and more maintenance, and it more often does not serve me well.
I'm in the market for a new Mercedes-Benz, as I have become successful.
But now my Honda is complaining that I am not faithful to her, and does not want to share the garage.
But you are not faithful to it by definition. Are you?
Don't get a Benz! They haven't made reliable ones in 30 years. Same with BMW and other German cars. Get a Mazda or even another Honda!
I've just put a new engine in my 25-year-old Honda and with some other work, it's looking at another 300k miles. I do have a 47-year-old car (luxury GT) which I've not been able to drive much for several years, so it needs a fair bit of work, but once done, it will be worth rather more and will be good for another 10 years or more (I've had it 20). I may need to get a larger SUV to do some towing, but that may be used in a rather more limited way.
Working the analogy, if you can renew yourself, you can do the same to your Honda. Don't get something that looks flashy but comes with massive luxury costs, unless you want to pay those bills. A year ago I had a chance to be with a much younger model, but I saw what it was going to cost to keep her in the style to which she had become accustomed (wealthy builders), even if she tried to be a bit financially restrained, and that put an end to that.
Well, which auto has the bigger ... bumper?
@@hoi-polloi1863 As it happens, the one I'm getting rid of for really bad performance issues!
Make sure headlights on the new car are nice and round
Don't search for your happiness in another individual.
This is the only lesson here to learn and live.
The cherry is sweet on the outside to bait you to eat it, but poison once you eat it.
Orion is my favorite thing about TH-cam.
Please make the same video, but “for the ladies.” Pretty please with a cherry on top.🙏🏼🍒
Why this s men's channels besides there's enough feminist channels to stroke your ego
@@garawa1987First, it’s not a “‘men’s channel” actually. He’s done plenty of videos for the ladies. Second, because I value and respect his insight and loved his book. Third, I don’t know what feminist channels you’re referring to because I’m not a feminist.
Until that Cheery takes your kids and half your stuff! Lease, never buy!
"Prenuptial Agreement! EVERYBODY should have a Pre-Nup." ~ Chris Rock.
That's what all these podcasters fail to address. Alot of their message is for older men with adult kids. Or men with no kids. If you have a minor child with a woman, most of their message do not apply to you
@@amr254 True...good point. I am an older man with adult children. I was just saying that it's hard to even view them as a cherry on the Sunday after you go through that
or rent. If you are going to airport once a month - way cheaper to take an Uber.
@@sirual5 🤣true
Very well done! This is the way older men with resources should view women. Excellent analogy.
I think deep down we all know it but is hard to admit it. Thinking of a relationship in terms of a business model always hits you hard in the jaw.
Every man's life philosophy should be influenced by knowledge of psychology and not just cultural values. I am making it my vision to add my voice to these efforts with my videos.
The highlight of the video was the part where he said women arent willing to play the long game anymore, they chose the winner. As a woman who played the long game, the result is much more worthwhile and meaningful because he came from nothing and we both built a life together as how we wanted. It is important to find a woman who has the ability to take the steering wheel when the man is tired or sick.
Being a man is simultaneously the best and the most difficult experience
The problem with the *modern, Western women is that these cherries are …sour grapes.*
I don't disagree with this analysis from the perspective of someone who doesn't want kids, however if women are luxury goods that also means that children are luxury goods, and if this is the case then society will inevitably collapse. To leave the necessity of producing the next generation out of this equation means this perspective cannot possibly be stable over time. It is correct as far as it goes, however leaving children out of the analysis means it is blind to a large part of what relationships with men and women are biologically intended to do, and therefore incomplete.
A woman should complement your life, not BE your life. If you can afford the cost to have her and still have plenty left over, there’s no problem being with her.
The right woman could even teach you the difference between complement and compliment
@@JustMe-999a autocorrect…
@@JustMe-999a troll.
My ex spent a year undermining me and destroyed my relationships and my business. Two years later she sent me 11-page apology letter. I spent 18 months in half-psychosis trying to regain my sanity and health. Too expensive.
When I buy a luxury car, I can expect top performance, great experience, and not buying a used vehicle. Go your own way.
Great video, I think it really underscores how relationship models have changed since our grandparents' generation. Also, it explains how there is something to the high standards of successful women, they're looking for that cherry as well. The only problem is that often these women overrate their own sundae (their success, see the solo living 35yo+ women in big cities), and overrate how much of a cherry they are, leading to the endgame of being alone.
This guy is like a messiah for me I'm so glad that I got to know him this early stage of my life and in just a few months since I have started watching him, i have improved so much in terms of how I approach dating and other aspects of my life.
Life gave me 2 things, it gave me the looks of a good looking rich kid, but it also gave me and my parents zero money, so I had to learn this the hard way. Having a woman for me has been like getting a luxury car that I can't keep or maintain smoothly. So yes, Mr. Taraban is right. Women are luxury goods. When you acquire them without having the means to keep them, they become extremely noisy and naggy like broken sports cars.
And this is the cherry on top: if you really have the money to be able to supposedly keep you wife or your girlfriend, they're still going to escape once in a while to have sex with me.
My mate said it best ....Having a woman will halve your happiness while at the same time double your sorrows.
Maybe if you’re clueless. I wouldn’t listen to your friend. He doesn’t have it figured out.
Your friend must be a miserable man, with or without women
Sounds like your friend picked some terrible cherries and decided to flood his sundae with them. 🤣
@@oneoone Men don't pick women, they choose from what's available to them.
That was Schopenhauer. “Women make the highs higher and the lows more frequent.”
If this is true, women are obsolete for me. I'm not into luxury goods. I prefer things that are useful.
That's most men thinking getting something that's practical
Modern women aren't like a cherry on a sundae, they are more like sauerkraut.
So basically women are next to useless, and you should only commit to one if you have more money than you know what to do with, and you're tired of talking to a bunch of different women and would prefer to pay exorbitantly to have one bother the shit out of you in your own house until she decides to leave with half of the cash and prizes you worked your whole life for.
You get it my bro
Women are a luxury good. A phrase worth repeating. A concept worth remembering. A pleasure worth enjoying. Thank you Orion.
I feel like the cherry on top for a man is a woman who truly understands how to provide the sensual, playful and warm feminine experience. It’s like “oooo that sundae looks good and it’s got a cherry on top!” It adds a fun delicious element. It makes the sundae sweeter. A women should be a man’s sweet spot. Just like the cherry 🍒😘
Probably THE BEST summary video on how a man should approach a relationship. And I've seen around 80% of your videos.
I will wait for a robot cherry.
Problem is, that most women don't behave like a luxury but costs as much as a luxury.
I hate cherries.
😂
No. You have the Western sour grapes that inhabit North America. Cherries are extinct here.
Lol I was thinking the same. I get the analogy but cherries don’t make my sundae better
@@PitbullofWallStreetThe western cherries has expired lol
@@PitbullofWallStreet "sour grapes" ..........😅 that was good....👍
nice analogy for sure. but riddle me this one: you build your sundae, you put a cherry on top of it, and you see that the cherry EATS your whole sundae and rolls away. if that happens once you will never get near any cherry again, no matter if they are luxury goods or not ;)
Instructions unclear. Wife now covered in whipped cream and chocolate. Marriage going well.
Sounds like you got a sweet little deal going on!🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤😂
Let’s use a car metaphor to explain this. What Orion refers to as the "cherry on top" is like a two-seater luxury convertible. It’s perfect for weekend getaways but not practical. It depreciates quickly, has a high cost of ownership, and while you could use it for grocery shopping, it's a constant headache for everyday life.
On the other hand, you can get a good all-around vehicle-spacious, reliable, and capable. It might not be as flashy or exciting for special occasions, but it’s still enjoyable and makes your life easier and more convenient.
Most people can’t afford or don’t want the headache of owning a luxury convertible. And if you really want to drive one, you can always rent it.
The same logic applies to relationships: avoid women who are unstable, unreliable, unkind, or selfish-no matter how attractive or fun they may be. If you really want that excitement, you can rent them. But don't commit to it.
Aren't men a luxury for women with this logic?
By his logic, the man brings much more to the relationship than the woman, since women only date for gain. So by adhering to the man's life the woman enjoys being part of the whole lifestyle of that man, even if she does little contribution to it.
@@vdl3984 Yep
I told a female friend of mine something very similar, as a 27 year old man that’s healthy with good genetics in the Army in a combat role that’s “going places” and getting close to being established fully.
The sooner a woman gets me, the bigger discount she will get on me. If I have to wait till I’m established, it’s over for these women. The less she builds with me from the start, the less I’ll put up with the bullshit. If allowed to be jaded I’ll act jaded. It’s really that simple.
Much more often your woman will just drain your wallet and your mental stability, only rewarding you with insufferable disrespect.
In my experience they just can’t comprehend the concept of gratefulness and simply unreasonable.
Exactly my experience. Thank you for sharing, I am glad to not be alone and questioning why I had an unexpected outcome when compared to the expectation.
Same experience. Did we date the same woman!? 😂
I understand what you're saying, and I think it's consistent with the reality of Western society.
Thank God I am a Muslim. The materialistic view of the marital relationship from the man or the woman. It killed it.
It all makes sense now. A lot of things have become clear now.
Thanks! “Only Founders Get Equity” stopped me in my tracks! Glad I bet the farm on my high value man before he made it. Just bought the book.
Just finished the value of others. Incredibly good highly recommended.
Wow, viewing women only on how they can assist you is a dangerous detour from the care and genuine connection of a relationship. If you have not felt understood and or felt the connection, don’t be discouraged, rather - make healthy life changes, gain healthy perspectives on yourself and interactions with other people, set healthy boundaries, learn about yourself, observe how you treat others and how you wish to be treated, learn about how people receive and communicate differently. The connection in a healthy relationship is why people love each other and want to build and share life together, it’s not so “crumbs” to the point one person feels mistreated and thinking it’s not worth it. Keep caring for yourself, and your curiosity to learn.
My buddy has a cherry, but no sundae...cherry consumed it all
My mind has been blown away by this episode... I suddenly have seen THE LIGHT!! (like The Blues Brothers) Now I realise my friends are the most important things in my life and a woman is just a SWEET ADITIONAL friend as an EXTRA to have in life. I am so happy to see it now!! 🙂 Thank you so much doc!
Excellent explanation of what I've always felt, but couldn't explain. Relationships are a luxury even wealthy guys can't afford!
Wealthy guys can afford it
They can afford it. The question is it worth your money? The answer is no, because women are a luxury good. And seeing that women are a luxury good, only good looking/young women fit the aesthetic of a luxury good.
My heart breaks for where we are today… Women are just the garnish!?! So sad to hear-I LOVE nurturing my husband, honoring him, loving on him, taking care of him- He owns me and I relish in it! He takes care of me- adores me- does all he can for me- I don’t need likes, hearts and messages from anyone but my man! Are we prefect? NO and that’s the fun of it- working it out!! I pray we return to many of the things that use to bring us all love, happiness, forgiveness & honor to our roles and space of masculine & feminine 🙏🏽♥️
Most women don't qualify as Cherries.
lemons
@@rarts2000they squeeze into your eyes when life gets hard
Thank you for all of your videos Dr. Orion. They are a great resource and I really appreciate them. I just bought your book and it is coming in the mail.
At my age of 51, I had bad luck in finding a woman to share my life.
As you said in another video, the good thing about reaching this age, is that people of my age bracket should probaly want to be with someone because they want to be with said someone, not be with the other out of a "marketplace".
The trick would probably be to find a woman who sees me as the cherry ontop of her sundae as much as she is the cherry on top of mine...
You will be her cherrie on top so long as you keep paying and playing the dancing monkey...
gl w that my bro
This is the way women should view men too. Be happy and fulfilled so that you and your partner are each other's cherry.
"The Value of Others" has been positively transformational for myself. Thank You Dr. Tariban for helping so many of us deepen our understanding of reality.
This is brilliantly said. Men don't need women. Women don't need men. But it's much nicer when they both work well together. So.. the key question people need to ask is... how good of a cherry are you. REALLY.
Everything in our society from the roads we drive on and phones we use are created and maintained by men. Women DO need men. We just created a society that’s ran so well they can turn around and say they don’t need the men that run it.
Men are not cherry to women. Men want women, women need men. Men are women's business, Women are men's pleasure.
Men are essential to women. Women can't literally survive without men. Men can survive without women but can't reproduce.
Caregivers are predominantly women. I've been wiping the poop off babies' and elders' butts my entire professional life. Making sure they don't unalive themselves from self-neglect. I'm well aware of the contributions men make to society but that only takes place during active working years. The rest of the time, I'm spoon feeding them.
Dear comment section, I want to share some thoughts about family and children, especially in light of this video. I'm a big fan of this channel and I'm wholeheartedly on board with how it usually approaches its topic, mating and dating, with a focus on the early stages of romantic relationships where the connection between both parties is established/negotiated. The idea of viewing women as the 'cherry on top' can give men some leverage in those early interactions, but when it comes to the 'mating' part-specifically having kids-that perspective doesn’t hold up quite as well, given the socio-economic climate of our time. Let me elaborate.
If you're serious about building a family, the 'cherry on top' idea actually contradicts something else Orion wisely touches on: "founders get equity." That means when you’re building something as significant as a family, both parties have to be equal contributors. You can't treat a woman as a mere accessory to your life and expect to create a stable family dynamic. I understand why the advice to get established first is popular-it makes sense to want to be in a strong position, both financially and personally, before settling down. But let’s face it: most of us aren't starting life with a silver spoon. If you didn’t have a decent hinterland or started laying down foundations early on, you might find yourself nearing 40 before you feel "ready" to have kids. I'm at an age where I know many who find themselves in that predicament. And honestly, for many people, that perfect moment of stability may never arrive, especially with today’s economic and social challenges.
So, if you want more than just someone to fuck after they've done your dry-cleaning, then you have to rethink that 'cherry' mentality. It’s about turning a woman from someone who’s just an accessory to your success into a true partner in life. Family is not just a luxury item for when everything else is sorted-it’s a shared journey, a deeper and more significant commitment that requires equality and teamwork from the start. Being the "big man" who takes a girl along for the ride is a nice fantasy that some guys get to live out. But for the majority of us struggling midwits who'll never own property, stocks or even save for retirement, truly, our best option might be to go medeaval farmer mode and commit to a partner with real vulnerability and intent, building a life together from the ground up, rather than waiting for the perfect moment that may never come.
Something to think about,
Lukas
Medieval farmer mode isn't an option though. Women aren't even "true partner potential" today, Orion makes that point here.
The thing is, there are millions of pretty decent, hard working men in their 20s who literally can't find a "founder" to build equity with. These millions of men, if they can be rational & strip the emotions out of WHY they couldn't find a "founder" to "build with" in their 20s - will observe that women do not love men or even really care about men in any way that exceeds virtue signaling. That's the crimson pill, unfortunately.
I make my own butter from Raw Milk and it takes me like 3 min in a Ninja. 50x better than store bought.
Metaphor beautifully chosen and articulated and the actual substance is very true. I couldn't agree more. It is liberating to both sides if men could understand that.
"only founders get equity." Best line in here for me. Preach, Doc😮
The cheapest girlfriend I ever had costed $1000 a month to entertain her along with missed operrunity working Saturdays.
hard facts. chad gets her free or for her to pay tho , so ya know.
@@grantwithers I can't imagine she would ever pay for a man..I don't think I've actually ever dated a woman who would financially support a man. LoL
Even Chad will be alone after a while. The thing is, if you're attractive to women they will have sex with you but they leave you if you don't invest. So, even that becomes transactional in the end.@@grantwithers
escorts are not girlfriends
So bizzare to be watching this as someone who’s only 24 but who has been cultivating happiness for years on my own and have recently been getting the interest of women (again), pretty much as a bonus on top of all the good that I’ve been experiencing, like I feel as though I got sidetracked with depression and shit teens but at the same time blessed with these rough gems in my life, all the while staying out of shit relationships that tear others down
I get where you’re coming from but man, what a bleak point of view for most guys. I’m fortunate to have been married for 22 years. It didn’t work out and I got divorced about 10 years ago. Now, in my 50’s this point of view makes total sense. I focus on work and and what I want to accomplish in life, have a cherry on my sundae once in awhile and roll on.
Only you can make yourself happy, peaceful and complete. Awesome.
I connect with myself at the end of the day. I take myself out to dinner. If I need my drycleaning picked up or dropped off. I can pay the dry cleaner a little bit extra, which is still a hell of a lot cheaper than having a woman in my life. 🤷
Very sensible comment.
Masculinism
This is the first reasoning error I've noticed, even though I've watched all your videos. It is assumed that such a 'cherry' is rare, and that’s why it's valuable. Not all men can afford a Ferrari because there aren't enough for everyone. There are many women, just as many as men. Why couldn't a man be the 'cherry on top' for a woman?
As you said, when you were younger you could have instrumentally benefitted from having a woman in your life, but you couldn't afford one. However, if you could (she lowered the cost of entry) I'm sure you would still be with her today. When women make themselves luxuries, do they not make themselves disposable to those who can afford them?
Man - you hit the nail on the head 😂. For the men that can afford them the women make themselves disposable.
The answer to that is yes, which is why so many women are miserable and sad today, but they don't know why. For the first time in history, they have made themselves as disposable as men by pricing themselves up to the level of luxury goods. Unlike men however, they don't have the biology that equips them to handle disposability.
Veeerrrry interesting episode as always. A nice and covert way to basically convey the message that (western) women are simply not worth it for young men, as they cannot afford them given the inflation in asking price, and only (older) men that are well off have the luxury of choosing to get them (or not). A positive element to this message is that men have to learn to become self sufficient and become their own source of happiness and fulfillment in life, which is always a good message (and true). You already covered in another episode how all of "this" can end, but it is still interesting to see just how strong the desire is to be right, versus being effective (talking about women here). As you pointed out in the past; pride makes for lonely company.