I'm not a firefighter, I'm not a paramedic, just a kid with messed up brain chemistry but... Someone this strong has been in the same place as me. It means a lot.
We are no stronger than you. We’ve simply found a way to process the horrible shit we see. And the way we do it, in general, is not healthy. Hang in there. It might not seem it, but I does get better, and it all in you.
My man I'm just like you, I was in a horrible place but I made it out and I have a good mate who copping it harder than me but he's still alive and he hasn't given up, I've seen what he goes through. You'll be alright in the end I promise, you just can't give up because the moment you do you start losing and if you think your family doesn't care about you I promise they do, some people don't know how to show it. Never give up, I guarantee you the people around you care about you so much more than you believe
@@bradleyh4532 I've been getting better. There are still bad days and sometimes I want to fall back on old habits more than anything, but when I look forward, I can see a future again. I won't give up on it. You keep going too, okay? We've got this. We're going to make it.
I hope you feel better. My favorite thing to do is have a dog to pet that helped me a lot. If you have a dog give the bark bark nom nom a big hug and it will help you feel better.
That took some serious balls to open up like that in such a public way. I applaud you for doing so. We need to get rid of the stigma that's associated with mental health issues as a weakness in first responders. Thank you for sharing this story.
This is what we have to change we have to make it ok to talk about. We shouldn’t we viewing this as a tough guy competition. Talking about it may make us stronger we learn that maybe next time you could start this drip over doing that push dose and such. Mental ill ones in some form affect EMS/ fire. We have to be crazy to want to do this job 😁
#mattcunningham. Yes it took strength for him to publish such personal information. We the public see first response as super heroes. Kind of childish to discribe in such a way but I believe it is true. Some who is a police officer and has the power to save a life or take it away. A firefighter. Someone who goes into a house or building without thinking about themselves. Just to save someone else. Nurse, doctor, EMT, paramedic all of the above is a job, someone's brother or sister or son or daughter no matter the age or color of his or her own skin. All decided to take on the risk to help someone else. The military. I can write this to you without fear because of them. We tend to forget that, at the end of the day, when there clothes come off no matter what they choose to where that identifies them in their profession are a human being also.
sadly i know of a friend of mine that was a firefighter, and he was let go and basically pushed away from the department right after he came out to his leadership of his mental health. thats why alot of firefighters police ems and the like never come out with it. for fear of losing their career
Ending this stigma that all men can't express emotion is the key. It's not just a first-responder thing. Men are more prone to suicide because society tells them to internalize everything. Frankly I prefer to be around men who are free with their emotions; I feel safer around them.
sometimes the hard times seem to go on forever. but nothing stays the same forever. So, enjoy the good times and know the bad times will come to an end. And you might not realize it but your perseverance in the face of adversity will inspire someone else to keep going. Oh, and it is okay to ask for help. True friends will be happy to be there for you.
As tough as life is, you have to realize an easy life is so beyond unrealistic. Sometimes luck may be down and you may be stressed struggling with things around you. But you have to realize that feeling suicidal isn’t rare but it’s unfortunately pretty common. I really hope whatever you’re going through it will get better. ❤️🩹 you got this. Don’t let nobody tell you you’re nothing because you are something special in this world. You have been given a life that some don’t have anymore. I hope you find the love you are looking for ❤
Your mind will rationalise anything which is actually absolute total nonsense, if you don't take those antidepressants. And it will seem like clear reality to you.
@@ArenaRat-xd8fu Its not about that. Its more driven by the reality is that your mind becomes soo twisted that you are unable to understand the possibly good things that can come if you choose to look for them. Its never possible to rational out of depression, and that's precisely why sadness and depression are 2 different things and why depression is classified as an actual illness. Why people get there is completely rational, but what keeps us there is not rational.
At least, you discovered it and she won't make your life hell anymore! Without negative energy around you, you'll feel so much better! That's what I wish I had said to my dad but was too young to understand a single thing and now he's passed away but with someone who didn't love him. So, I'd say I'm glad for you, I'm glad you're free and you'll find someone who's worth it!
I have to say thank you. When I was 16 I had a suicide attempt. I remember sitting on my couch as my family watched the medical personnel take my O2, provide wellness check to make sure I was stable and get me to the hospital. I got locked up in the mental ward for children and put on medication. My life got a bit better, I finished high school, but lately my life’s been a long, endless day. Yesterday at 2 am I was thinking of suicide again and ran into your videos. I had to stop watching because I didn’t want to wake my family from laughing so much. But seeing this video makes me feel seen. I know what it’s like, and because of you I’m going to see my doctor about getting more help. Thank you.
Thanks for making this video. I grew up with a suicidal mother, and have vivid memories of her grabbing a knife and locking herself in the bathroom after telling me "thats it, im done". She has always felt deep remorse for putting me through that, and since then we have had many deep serious discussions about suicide , death, and mental health, which i believe has helped her to still be around, and me to not end up in a place like hers. We need to stop feeling weird about the topic, so we can discuss it whenever it happens to be on our minds before it turns bad. And amazing men like yourself, men who so many hold in high regard, breaching the topic in a public way is exactly what we need. Thanks for making me laugh AND cry. What a great channel you have created. ❤
@@missophelie3781 I'm out of the house now but stayed with her till I was 19 or so but I didn't move out because of her. I can't tell you what you should do without knowing the situation, but I would absolutely tell you to seek family counseling from someone. I highly recommend the online service betterHelp. It's affordable and can be extremely helpful if only just to find out how to even think about the situation you're in. Please stay strong and healthy. You got this. And so does she.
Brandon Cook I’m a paramedic in Texas. I honestly thought I was the only one who is having a hard time talking about it. Thank you so much for just saying that it’s okay to talk about the hard times. Thanks brother. Stay safe
Heath Garton hey man, we are all in a similar boat. I’m pretty new to the paramedic scene but I can say with confidence we’ve all scene some hard shit. Finding someone to talk to has saved my life personally. I wish the best to you and good luck in your career. To echo the video, we aren’t alone.
sometimes this job says we can’t talk about it and sometimes that is true. Sometimes we know already that the patient isn’t going to make it but we convince our selves we can do and then we fail. Classic case of setting Unattainable goals. Then we shut down and don’t talk about it. You’ll see that most people in this career field will talk about the ones they do win rarely do we ever brag about the ones we learned from
Just remember that we all are out here seeing the same shit and talking will help. You have family,And I know that sometimes we don’t want to bring this to our family however sometimes they can be the biggest center. We have partners and peers. There are groups even online ones that can help
Four years later, this is not old. Depression is a silent killer. I go through depression, and I am in medical treatment. Talking openly is hard to begin, but it helps a lot. Don't give up.
This popped up for me and seeing this is 4yrs old hit harder for some reason, i was wondering if its algorithm or just a lucky chance encounter, good to know im not the only one seeing this 4yrs late
I agree that for many people it can get better, and it is good to talk about it and try other forms of treatment. But what if nothing helps much? Is there a point at which we have enough empathy to help someone who has tried so many things for years, to let them end their suffering? I have been talking openly about it for decades. I am now 54, have had years of multiple kinds of therapy, tried at least 8 different antidepressants (several of them for years). I have been suicidal at least part of the time every year of my adult life. I have become less and less able to take care of myself. I have not worked in 15 years. Nothing has come close to helping enough for years. For the last 6 months I have been suffering at least 5 or 6 days/week. How long do I have to suffer before others will acknowledge that maybe I could be allowed to stop existing?
@@JaniceinOR this is a valid question, which I am not in the position to give a valid answer to. I am very sorry to hear you are suffering so much. I hope you can find a peaceful way out of your pain.
@@andrebartels1690 Thank you. Me too. It would be easier to find a peaceful way out if I were not worried that anyone giving me information might be prosecuted for thereby helping me.
I worked as a child protective services investigator for nearly a decade. Saw some stuff that will never leave me. The thought of ending it all have never left but with help, I’ve never felt better. Always get helped and don’t stop getting help. Never stop.
Thank you for your amazing strength, many people will remember you - and you are the one that saved them. You will always be needed, but don't forget to take time for yourself.
"Roughly three years ago" "I have a three year old daughter" I see.. I'm glad you're still alive and in her life, she needs her daddy. and you seem like a pretty good dude who makes a pretty good dad.
@@TwizzlerGirlit really is. Hard in every possible way, but I swear to god, it's actually saved my life too. If it weren't for my kids, I never EVER would have survived losing my mom. She was everything. They gave me the ability to focus on them instead of the loss. There were some awful moments, but they always give me so much love, how could I feel anything but love.
And we don't talk enough about post partum depression. Just the other year I read about it in an article at work that fathers get them too. I am a health worker, so this article was from a medical magazin, not any newspaper
I joined a volunteer company because I had PTSD and depression/ocd, and it was recommended to me by my therapist to join some kind of outside activity or community. I've never been happier, I've finally found a group of people who understand what the hell I'm talking about and don't get weirded out by dark humor. It really saved my life.
We're a large, very disfunctional, family, I joined mine in 2006 or so, best years of my life, then I got old, got hurt, and moved, I miss it, but still stop by and talk to the folks at my local FD. Stay safe!
It's really how cool how you said "took the way out" instead of "took the easy way out." It becomes easy to shame people who take their own lives, and we often don't realize how that shames people who are thinking about taking their own lives. Love your regular content, love this video, and love firefighters, EMTs, and paramedics. Merry Christmas.
Exactly right! Thank you for mentioning this! We seem to LOVE to shame people in our society these days! Shame is a form of tyranny; i dont know if people realize this or not.
@@inconnu4961 shame is a great way behavior for people to feel superior and its incredible easy faucet for people to project their insecurity to superiority in groups.
more often than not, those who seek to end their lives may not source it from "laziness" (oversimplification of the complexity that leads to that point), but seek to end their lives as they see world better without their existence. Suicide seemingly selfish is usually warped into selflessness by the "lazy" person. Again this point is individualistic and may not apply to all.
As tough as life is, you have to realize an easy life is so beyond unrealistic. Sometimes luck may be down and you may be stressed struggling with things around you. But you have to realize that feeling suicidal isn’t rare but it’s unfortunately pretty common. I really hope whatever you’re going through it will get better. ❤️🩹 you got this. Don’t let nobody tell you you’re nothing because you are something special in this world. You have been given a life that some don’t have anymore. I hope you find the love you are looking for ❤
You got this. You’re worth it. Don’t ever feel like you’re alone. The world would be a worse place without you in it. You are lovable, and worthy of love, and there is a lot of love in you to give. You still have so much to do. Those are things I’d tell myself to get me through…you’re amazing and can overcome anything. “Hang on to your dreams. The world is built on dreams” (Optimus Prime). Never give up.
I’m going to put this here because the lack of responses means I’ll be seen. There’s one thing that I wish people did for me when I was suicidal. I wish people validated me wanting to die. It’s really important for these people to know that they’re not selfish or cowardly, they’re not out of pocket for wanting a way out. We live in a cruel world and not every struggle ends in triumph. Unlike what FDC says, some people really are alone. Sometimes you’re in a hole you can’t dig your way out of and no one cares enough to rescue you. Suicide is a desperate last resort when people feel like they have no options. It’s a very human thing, a very natural reaction. That’s what people have always been doing, making something out of nothing. These people are valid and we need to tell them that. They need to know that they’re valid for wanting a solution but feeling like there isn’t one. They’re valid for escalating to the final conclusion because they can’t see any way out. The most important thing for preventing suicide is to let them know that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to do it. FOR ANYONE STRUGGLING - - I can’t tell you that you’re not alone. Maybe you are. I can’t tell you that there’s an answer. Maybe there isn’t one. But what I can tell you is that what time gives, time will take away. Nothing can stay the same forever. Even if it’s a long time coming, a change will come. Bide your time. Just wait. Give things a chance to turn around. In the meantime, while your waiting, here’s what I want you to do for me. In no particular order. Eat a fruit or a vegetable. Brush your teeth, shower, some other form of basic hygiene. Pick a chore around your house and do it.
@@rainwater_leaf4939Please know this is not the answer. You are so young! There is so much you haven’t lived yet. You will find your place, your people. It just takes time. You are here for a reason. Please keep fighting. I’ve been there, at your age, it does get better. ❤
My last attempt was on October 22, 2023. I have suffered from depression since I was eight or nine, and I've been admitted to psychiatric hospitals more times than I'm comfortable admitting. The fact that people regard suicide and psych hospitals in such a low manner still baffles me. Remember that not everyone in a 'psych ward' is insane. We are just calling for help. And we are getting it. @@rainwater_leaf4939
Real men cry. Real men talk. We need more men like Jason. May every police officer, military, fire fighter, & all those in EMS know that you matter and you are irreplaceable. My love and gratitude for all that you do each and every day! ✝️🇺🇸❤️
@@cyclone8974 If your partner rejects you for opening up, then there's something wrong with them. I know lots of (married) couples that are thriving because at the core of their relationship is vulnerability. Don't believe that vulnerability is weak or wrong. It's the strongest thing you can do and it makes us human, and allows us to connect to one another.
@@cyclone8974 My husband and I have been VERY open with our mental healths. Traumatizing childhoods, mental imbalances, abuse, PTSD and suicide attempts. I have fully supported my husband as I KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE. I tried to kill myself. I was not in a good way, and the sense of control I felt when I made my decision in a place where there WAS no control was liberating. My husband also had a similar experience. I saw him at his lowest and I was scared because I knew EXACTLY what he was going through. I did not shame him, I did not scold him. I talked to him, told him I loved him very much, and that we would get through it together. He is so much better now and I am So SO proud of him. When I had suicidal ideations I went to a neighbor's house and admitted I needed help bc I have a chronic pain condition that I felt we couldn't afford and thought I wanted to end it all again and knew I wasn't okay and with my mindset I was convinced that we should end it. We are better now. We pick each other up and bring out the best in each other. Admittedly there are many women raised that men are provider's and should be strong and not show emotions. I was raised by two lovely parents who did their best with the cards they were dealt and told me it's okay to feel your emotions and cry it out, it's healthy for EVERYONE. Unfortunately not all women are raised that way. But as someone who knows Suicide quite well I have become someone who tells everyone that it isn't the answer. We have been proved time and time again that things DO get better. I am so sorry you have to do that or feel like you have to do that in front of your significant other. Communication goes both ways and you should BOTH be able to express your concerns and emotions. IT IS HEALTHY! If I weren't able to express my emotions I would be dead. No one would have known I had a plan or that I was depressed in the first place. PLEASE talk to others! To your loved ones!!!!!!!! If they judge or react like you can't tell them those things 👏🏻 THAT'S 👏🏻 NOT 👏🏻 O👏🏻KAY👏🏻 They don't deserve you!!!! COMMUNICATION IS KEY! PEOPLE WILL MISS YOU WHEN YOU'RE GONE!! YOU ARE LOVED.
@@cyclone8974 My husband and I have been VERY open with our mental health. Traumatizing childhoods, mental imbalances, abuse, PTSD and suicide attempts. I have fully supported my husband as I KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE. I tried to kill myself. I was not in a good way, and the sense of control I felt when I made my decision in a place where there WAS no control was liberating. My husband also had a similar experience. I saw him at his lowest and I was scared because I knew EXACTLY what he was going through. I did not shame him, I did not scold him. I talked to him, told him I loved him very much, and that we would get through it together. He is so much better now and I am So SO proud of him. When I had suicidal ideations I went to a neighbor's house and admitted I needed help bc I have a chronic pain condition that I felt we couldn't afford and thought I wanted to end it all again and knew I wasn't okay and with my mindset I was convinced that we should end it. We are better now. We pick each other up and bring out the best in each other. Admittedly there are many women raised that men are provider's and should be strong and not show emotions. I was raised by two lovely parents who did their best with the cards they were dealt and told me it's okay to feel your emotions and cry it out, it's healthy for EVERYONE. Unfortunately not all women are raised that way. But as someone who knows Suicide quite well I have become someone who tells everyone that it isn't the answer. We have been proved time and time again that things DO get better. I am so sorry you have to do that or feel like you have to do that in front of your significant other. Communication goes both ways and you should BOTH be able to express your concerns and emotions. IT IS HEALTHY! If I weren't able to express my emotions I would be dead. No one would have known I had a plan or that I was depressed in the first place. PLEASE talk to others! To your loved ones!!!!!!!! If they judge or react like you can't tell them those things 👏🏻 THAT'S 👏🏻 NOT 👏🏻 O👏🏻KAY👏🏻 They don't deserve you!!!! COMMUNICATION IS KEY! PEOPLE WILL MISS YOU WHEN YOU'RE GONE!! YOU ARE LOVED.
My daughter almost ended her life at 8 years old over bullying that started almost immediately in school...8 years old. The string she used broke. My miracle named Mercy is currently 14 years old and now advocates for others with PTSD and depression. Sure wants to be a tactical leo and handle K-9s. She's wanted to be an officer since she could put together sentences. Since my husband and I are prior EMS/Vol Fire, we have some friends who've offered to help with that when she's ready. We home school and still encourage her to keep reaching for that career goal. She's gone from wanting to take her own to pushing herself to save others. She's proof that it's not the answer. Love watching y'all. Thanks for sharing this.
Ooh, I ache for you and your daughter going through that but how wonderful that she got the love and help she needed and is an advocate for victims of bullies. My daughter attempted suicide at 18, a lot of factors including being prescribed an antidepressant that flipped her from depression to suicidal. She's 37 now, still troubled by the past but a fierce fighter and the light of my life. Hope you and your daughter are doing well. Thanks for sharing. 🤗🖖✌
Y’all great parents ❤️ I couldn’t imagine that pain and stress. May God be with you and your daughter, he will always love you ❤️ I know your daughter will be one hell of an officer ma’am ❤️
@@yasininn76 bullying exists even without social media. Bullying that drives victims to suicide is generally up close and personal. How does restricting social media prevent that?
@yasininn76 I had a similar incident when I was only 11. No social media or internet communication involved. Restricting that doesn't prevent these things from happening.
As someone who almost committed suicide, my little sister found me with a shotgun in my mouth and was about to pull the trigger, I can truly say that it helps to open up to others about your problems and get help. It was the shock and horror on her face that stopped me from taking my own life that day, and later on, because of what I went through, was able to help others who were struggling with suicidal thoughts. To whoever needs to read this, whatever you are going through it isn't worth taking your life over, it just hurts the people who love you the most.
@@meteorwindthat trauma is something my mom watched my dad put a shotgun to his head and pull the trigger and that is something she will never recover from it mentally destroyed her. It didn't kill him instantly so she was able to kinda communicate with him before he passed , so fair warning it isn't always the fastest way and as much as I despise life and being alive I can't put that type of trauma on anyone else
@@markodenbrett4363 Just know that the more you struggle, the stronger you will become. A big part of getting over this depression mindset is being optimistic. A lot of people choose to lose all hope and think that nothing will ever get better, but they're wrong. Be happy and look forward to your future in life. We don't know for certain what's on the other side, but like you said, it'll only hurt people more by taking your life. You've really got a lot to live for. Find a hobby, find a friend or a spouse. Trust me, there is someone out there waiting for you. Me personally, I think about my future wife. I'm only 19, but I know she's out there somewhere and I cannot wait to start a family one day. Plus, I recently got my pilots license and am wanting to become an airline pilot one day. And boy it was hard to get that license but that was probably the best feeling I have ever had in my whole life. Trust me, life is amazing and there is something for everyone, regardless of who you are. You just need to find it!
God have mercy I can’t imagine My adult son shot himself in the head. The Coroner was retired and they called him in because everyone in the small community he lived in was in shock, and the retired man was the kindest. He told me not to read the report because I’m visual. I’ve seen other traumas. You’re correct - the aftermath, the trauma, the pain to those left behind is beyond brutal. I wanted to exit this world also sooo bad afterward, and still struggle, but don’t want ANYONE to feel the way I do inside, ever. Not even my worst enemy (abusive ex). It is difficult but I hold onto the fact that I believe he and others like him who struggle with brain injury, depression, etc. are in Heaven waiting for us. Please trust God, even if you’re mad at Him. It wasn’t His fault, we all have free will. It’s a gift. We chose what we do with our lives, and what we do with the tuck that happens to us caused by others poor choices. Life is hard. Heaven will be great. Believe in Jesus - He’s a great hope 💝🕊🙏🏼
@@jantesa Thank you SO much. It’s hard to write about it. 💐🦢 I know the persons who want to commit S are hurting inside, but it leaves such a path of emotional destruction, as well as a temptation to follow suit due to the insane level of grief felt. Add in guilt as a parent, spouse, sibling, best friend, etc.) that we believe somehow some way we could have said one thing or known something that would have changed the situation. There’s a Doctor, Dr. Amen (yes, his real name LOL) who has studied hundreds of thousands of brain scans, showing brain injury and trauma (physical and emotional) creates holes in the brain, which affect all. AND, it can be corrected/treated/healed. A great books, hard to read; “Shattered By Suicide” by Gracie Thompson and “How To Survive The Loss of A Child” by Catherine M. Sanders, PhD The latter lost her son at 17 in a boat accident and she went crazy from grief and trama, but recovered, went back to school and became a psychiatrist and is considered the “mother” so to speak, of grief therapy in America. Excellent book. I did not mean to write so much to you, but hopefully this information will help someone. Even if it’s just one.
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
18 years as a paramedic I’ve been on at least a hundred successful suicides, two on one shift. From ten years old to ninety and everything in between. It’s one of the reasons I finally burned out. Bless all of you that have to deal with it now
State of Wyoming Many suicides occur because something suddenly happened and all you want to do is stop the overwhelming grief and pain. It happened twice with me, the sudden breakup with my wife and the death of a son. The thought of the aftermath of all the suicides I’d been on stopped me from going any farther
You’re bad mother trucker dude ! I know it hurts a lot and could only imagine how you felt. But you at least being there in support speaks volume, keep your head up, the world is yours. ❤
I’m going to put this here because the lack of responses means I’ll be seen. There’s one thing that I wish people did for me when I was suicidal. I wish people validated me wanting to die. It’s really important for these people to know that they’re not selfish or cowardly, they’re not out of pocket for wanting a way out. We live in a cruel world and not every struggle ends in triumph. Unlike what FDC says, some people really are alone. Sometimes you’re in a hole you can’t dig your way out of and no one cares enough to rescue you. Suicide is a desperate last resort when people feel like they have no options. It’s a very human thing, a very natural reaction. That’s what people have always been doing, making something out of nothing. These people are valid and we need to tell them that. They need to know that they’re valid for wanting a solution but feeling like there isn’t one. They’re valid for escalating to the final conclusion because they can’t see any way out. The most important thing for preventing suicide is to let them know that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to do it. FOR ANYONE STRUGGLING - - I can’t tell you that you’re not alone. Maybe you are. I can’t tell you that there’s an answer. Maybe there isn’t one. But what I can tell you is that what time gives, time will take away. Nothing can stay the same forever. Even if it’s a long time coming, a change will come. Bide your time. Just wait. Give things a chance to turn around. In the meantime, while your waiting, here’s what I want you to do for me. In no particular order. Eat a fruit or a vegetable. Brush your teeth, shower, some other form of basic hygiene. Pick a chore around your house and do it.
I am a retired Marine Platoon Sergeant. I was diagnosed with PTSD by mental health professional nearly three years before my retirement. I have never lost a Marine conducting high risk training or combat operations. I have lost more friends to suicide than friends to combat related deaths. A good friend of the family took his life this memorial weekend and I was devastated. I ended up having a break in the therapists office at the VA. I recently came to the conclusion that I wasn't depressed about that, but that I am heart-broken that my friend took his own life. Rest in peace, Frank. Semper Fidelis. Edit: I tell my wife this frequently, as I chuckle to myself, that your content never fails to make me smile. Thank you for that.
My husband is a firefighter and told me about a coworker who intentionally crashed his car to kill himself. I was dealing with my own depression at the time and found myself driving to work and started to envision doing it myself. I immediately got help but know how scary the thought was and how close I came to wanting to execute it.
I did the, driving to work too. thinking of what to hit. a buss, pole, three or something else. day out and day in driving back and forth. I got help getting out of my situation, I could not handle going to work, I got too stressed and it gave me a depression. Today I'm way more happy. still the negative thoughts comes now and then. but not to the point where I don't want to live. I'm an Atheist so my thinking was, If I killed my self it would be like before I was born. I would never know I ever existed. so fast and easy relief. But I kept thinking about my twin brother and my mother. and that kept me going for the most part.
Mark Bjering Mine was driving home from work. There's this perfect spot where the ramp from another freeway merges to the one I drove, on a long curve. On the other side of that ramp is a steep drop-off, with no guardrail. The only reason I didn't go off was I didn't want to mess up my Bronco.
@@sophierobinson2738 Ya, I think most people have something to keep them from going that extra step. people are different, like some work best at night. or some are just more stressed then others. or can't handle the same amount of work. and so on. if this was taken seriously society would work better for everyone. but society if set up for one solution fit all. but it does just not work for everyone. so some get stressed out to the point where it's not worth living anymore. I'm just lucky I live in a country where we have safety nets for people with problems. so we can get help. the only problem is that it can take many years before they find the right fit for you. so that means that some people just quit before a solution can be found. Because our society is build around money. so people are forced to work a set amount of hours. where back in the day, in the gather hunter age. it was up and down from day to day how much you had to work. hours where not set.
I added these comments with a link to your video on our local FF page: My Fire Chief says it very simply: "we all have PTSD." We spend our days and nights saturating our minds, bodies, thoughts, rest and relaxation time embroilled in violence. We go to work anticipating, and wanting the violence, the interior attack, the extrication, what ever the call, we want it. This mentality places a strain on our minds, our hearts, our abilty to find and feel peace, to let our worlds slow down. Our relationships suffer, we're angry and don't know why, we find it harder and harder to forgive, to be civil, to show and have empathy, we loose interest in trying to understand even our fellow crew members, even while being willing to risk our life to protect them, we begin to have disinterest in being nice. Violence, and the strain of public safety is real. A few years ago a fellow firefighter told me how he had picked up his .45 more than a few times. I get it, see, I lost my big brother to suicide only two years ago. We all have PTSD- now what are you going to do about it? Train your probie. Take ownership. Don't make excuses. Get off the couch- train. Talk. Listen.
PTSD is not just for vets, and , please, I mean no disrespect, but when you see the horrible shit we see, it’s an unavoidable result. It’s how you deal with it. I’m constantly searching for inner peace. Some days are good, some not so much, but I know I’m better than I was.
Lost my father, mother and my wife (mother of our two daughters). They all died in 3 years time. Suffering heavy depression but I'm gonna get through. Thanks for your videos man you really save lives.
I lost my mother when i was 16 i found her dead on my kitchen floor about 7 months later my terminally ill 5 year old brother passed away a week after i visited him next my uncle was murdered 6 years later my grandma passed away not sure what from but my guess is alcoholism related after my mom uncle and brother passed it destroyed her and she was practically drinking herself to death i had a run with alcoholism too but i quit luckily it really hurts to deal with but all we can do is become stronger brother loss is devastating and only people who experience it can understand it has really ruined me over the years but im still here trying to stay positive and just live and i hope you are too you got this its hard but you can do it
I'm no first responder or any kind of health professional, I'm just 32 years old with autism and ADHD, and I have been in burnout from those two things for more than 10 years. I have suicidal thoughts every single week, and some weeks it's literally every night, and it has been this way for most of that time. It never fails to move me to see other people talking about their experience and urging other people not to take their lives. But it especially helps coming from someone that many many people look up to, because those are the people we really need to hear it from. Thank you, Jason.
I feel you every bit brother. I was wildland type 1 for 14 years. Over that time I have had similar thoughts. The worst was when my late wife died in the line of duty on a fire in northern Idaho. We were working in allot of old trees that jad seen allot of fires over the years. A tree had been burned out before that amd was weak from seasoning. My wife looked up in time to see the tree begining to fall. She pushed the two guys under it out of the way and it landed on her. The night we spread her ashes over the tetons like she wanted my best friends came to our apartment to check on me. They found me severely intoxicated cleaning my guns. All they seen was the guns in my hands and me fumbling with them. All i could think was I could follow her right now. I womt have to feel this any more. I wont have to miss her. They stopped me from making that final choice and took me to our station house. My sup told me I had to stay there until further notice and someone was told to watch me at all times. I didnt go to a therapist until 10 years later which was a mistake. I should have addressed it when it happened. It caused me allot of pain for a very long time. It still causes me pain today and every july 17th I ask one of my friends to just hang out with me and make sure I dont do anything stupid. I cant afford to see a doctor. But over the years i have learned when to stop and take time to reflect and slow my mind. I still have really rough moments in relation to events like that where i jave lost friends or patients. Mostly during fire season. I now drive truck but my boss lets me take time off if i need it. Sometimes he makes me take time off if I'm seeming more irritated or frustrated than normal. I am a very anti social person already which doesnt help. But life could be worse. I know that allot of us in the industry be they active, retired or disabled have moments every day when we don't want to try any longer. Some are worse than others. I don't have anyone that i would leave behind per say but i know the friends i have would not like knowing that i ended life through suicide. They know I would be happy to die saving someones life in some way. But to die by my own hand helping no one is not something that i want. So I wake up every morning and give myself 10 reasons to live. They are different every day aside from one. And that one is simple, Those who I love who have left would want me to live as long as i could and do what i can to help others while I am here. I cant work fires any longer I got hurt pretty bad over the years but I can still be there for people I seen who have ended up in a bad situation. Be it a car crash or being attacked by some crazy person or just being there to help others see that life is not that bad. I will always lend and ear for my brothers and sisters in the fire community. It can help us both to simply talk about things however small that set off our PTSD. So I am with you brother 100%. Stay strong and keeping going. You are not alone. We stand together or we fall together. Honor, Service, Sacrafice, Tradition.
Bless that sup of yours for getting it right. Keep hanging in there; some days are teeth and toenails, but time does help wear away the edges of the pain.
*offers you a virtual hug, a warm/cool drink and good company*. My friend, your wife's light of service and honour lives on in you. You are not alone. Stay strong. You are loved. Your name, and your wife's name, will never be forgotten as long as they are spoken. Thank you for your service. I will pour out a drink of wine for your wife on the 17 of July for you, and make sure that you are ok. Remember that you are never alone. The suicide prevention lifeline's number has changed. It is now 988.
I am sorry for your pain. I lost my husband. The pain isn’t as jagged now as it was at first. Sometimes the good you do for another person isn’t seen or noticed. The book “The five people you meet in heaven” by Mitch Albom is a short easy read about such things. Our lives bumping off of each others and leaving good impressions and good feelings for other people struggling. Take care of yourself. Be easy.
I use your hilarious videos to bring humor to dark topics in my EMT classes. It makes the material memorable and relatable....but this video...I'll show this one in the hopes that when they are at their lowest, they'll remember me, their class, and you. They'll seek help rather than a very final end.
I witnessed a suicide by cop during my second clinical ride along and it fucked me up. I never thought that I would be on scene of something so traumatizing but the world is changing and every single one of your students should have the understanding that their life can change in an instant. A lot of my crap didn't start eating away at me until months later. It's crazy how we go from civilian to a warzone in a matter of minutes then back to civilian. Students always say they want trauma calls but careful what you wish for is the moral of my story.
As a former instructor of most things Health and Safety I applaud your decisions to add Jason's humorous videos, but a standing ovation to add this video, not only so your students see there are resources available, but that the person next to them who seems "tough" on the outside may be truly struggling on the inside... And letting them know you are willing to listen or sharing (not trading War Stories, but) that you're struggling may help both of you to open up and seek the assistance you each need- in WHATEVER healthy form that comes in!!! Jason, thank you for all of your videos!!! The make me laugh whenever I need to! This one touched me more than I can say!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING!!!
Jason, thank you for all of your videos!!! The make me laugh whenever I need to... but THIS ONE touched me SO much!!! MY father died of suicide when I was 6, and I was left in the dark about it until age 13 (when I remembered an argument at the cemetery with a cousin 7 yrs prior) and asked met stepdad "if my dad shot himself". He turned the car around and said that it would be better answered by my mom. She said "a neighbor told me my dad died of cancer, which made me hate his cigarette company and she decided to let me believe it." I don't know what would have been better for me... Knowing all along or having some years blaming smoking and being mad at my mother, aunt, stepdad, etc for continuing to smoke (3+packs a day) and being terrified I'd lose them as well! Turns out, my dad's dad and the father's going back MANY generations, except for ONE, had all committed suicide due to them all suffering from depression and/or mental illness of some form or another. Had they felt they had someone to reach out to before it was too late, maybe it would have stopped the cycle. At least I can be proud of it stopping with me!!! And please, be as open and honest with your kids so they KNOW you are there NO MATTER WHAT or how HARD LIFE gets for them!!! AND it is OK AND HEALTHY to let kids know that parents get sad sometimes too and asking for help is a BRAVEST thing of all!!! Those horrors & demons first responders experience, see, and treat live on in our minds need a way to be put to rest. Therapy isn't "nonsense" nor is "talking to your crew" always "good enough"... Someone asking you for help should be treated as an honor that they trust you, and telling them you understand but they may need help that you aren't equipped for, but CAN give numbers/resources to is NOT a fail, it shows you DO care enough to hear them & get them to where they may need to be. This isn't the time to be trading "War Stories", but one for empathy and yes, maybe admitting you struggle as well and some ideas you found successful. (Not becoming a Vegan or your HIIT classes, but true mental health resources). Suicide is NOT just a "teenage problem", it is an "any age" health struggle. And if all you can do is be kind and offer an ear & maybe a cup of (Firehouse) coffee; or smile at someone while making eye contact while passing in the store aisle or on the sidewalk- well that alone can make a person's day far more than you could even know!
Thank you for putting this out, I’m a second generation fire fighter who times so my father struggle when I was about 12 years old I came home from school to find my dad, a single parent, on the couch with his revolver on the armrest and him in tears I sat down on the couch next to him for what felt like hours neither of us speaking a word, as a young boy I never understood why. Then I grew up became a firefighter a started to see the horrible things that he had to see and I put myself in his shoes, but with 2 young children at home I know that suicide is never the option. Thanks again your brother L2546
You are one of my favorite channels. My mother was an NICU nurse and ny father was a NYC cop. They obviously dealt with a lot of stress and trauma- the way it came out was "I'll give you something to cry about." Fun times. One of my best childhood friends was a NYC EMT. He ate his gun in 2017. I'll never forgive myself for not listening to him more. That said- Some of us have chronic pain, illness, or mental issues that are simply insurmountable. Please don't shame us for wanting bodily autonomy. I will be exiting this crumbling meatsuit of my own accord, before I become a yellow mess of rotting flesh, and fuck you if you want to take that from me. Nothing but love and respect to first responders, but you don't dictate my end of life care.
Thank you for this video. I had an uncle who committed suicide and he left behind his wife, siblings, daughter, son-in law, son, daughter-in law, grandchildren, nieces, nephews and so many other friends and family members and I wish to this day he would have just asked for help instead of going through with it. I am glad you got help and are here to let others know there is hope and that they just need to seek help.
Thank you brother....your testimony, has already helped to stop, a trainee from the fire academy here, from taking his own life, after he was informed, that he was going to be medically dropped from the academy. The trainee in question, failed all three eye exams, and was told that because of the sensitive nature of his eye condition, he had no choice, but to accept a medical drop from the academy at this point in time, until his condition treated and or corrected, and if it is possible to be fixed, then he could re-apply back to the academy. This made the trainee extremely despondent, and was actively talking, about harming himself greatly, and wanting to take his life. The Academy instructors and cadre, played your video for him to watch. The trainee was simply overwhelmed by circumstances he was unable to control going on in his life, and because of your video, realized he needed to seek and accept help, before things take a turn for the worst. That fire academy trainee....was my cousin, so thank you for puting yourself out there, like that, for others to learn from.
Tell your cousin that life throws some nasty pitches! Things change, and while you may not be able to do what you really really want to, you just might fall into something you love that you never dreamed of.
TW: I got through it. I’m 17 with a host of psychiatric disorders as well as some nervous system bs. I have been extremely messed up my entire life, and I have been admitted to 13 (mental) hospitals on separate occasions and have been sent to the ER for a low key not fun attempt and two times when I almost ☠️ bc of starving. (Fun lol) I say all this because, even though my life hasn’t been a vibe, I have been SH free for a year and a half and my life is relatively stable. My support system and doctors have really helped me get through this. I didn’t think I’d make it past 14, but here I am, about to graduate with a 3.9 GPA. The road is long and hard and sometimes you really don’t feel like trying. But you will try bc you’re stronger than you think and life is so much better after. You will really appreciate everything after you have suffered so. Love❤
Brother, this video may be 4 years old. But thank you so much for this not only for brave first responders like yourself but for 18 year old kids like me. I've had people i knew from school go out like this and even tho i wasn't close with them it still shook me to my core. I've always had issues with depression and anxiety and this really showed me i wasn't alone.
Jason, Im a 40+ yr veteran medic. Two years ago, I was forced to retire due to heart issues. They tell you about depression, but nothing they can say prepares you. I reached the brink about 6 months after the surgery and almost stepped off. Like you, I made the smart choice, though at the time, it didnt feel like it. 6 months later, the mother of my children did step off after years of battling chronic depression, a 30 yr veteran nurse, though we were divorced, it hit hard but I also got to see the impact on my adult children, which only reaffirmed that I jad not erred. It was devastating. It took a lot of courage for you to shoot this video. Thank you for stepping up for all of us.
The first responder world loves you brother. We all have pain and dark days but your profession is one of love and caring for others. Allow others to care and love you by helping. Stay strong
I feel for you Jimmy. I went through some shit couple years ago that changed my life. It's important to be open about your bad situations because holding them inside makes everything worse. As men we are taught to hold back our emotions but its far healthier to be open with people. It took a lot of strength to tell my parents I have PTSD. Mental wounds heal but they always leave behind a scar.
I'm talking and telling everyone my story ( doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists ) for almost 1 and a half years, but no one listens. But I don't wanna go the short way. That's why I'm fighting. I don't wanna go the short way. Thank you Jason for these words. God bless you
You can have bad luck with a series of shitty people who just don't care, but eventually someone will❤ Never give up,everyone has something or someone to live for,just gotta find it
I am in severe depression but i swear my depression is my lost job but i tried very much but i lost my job in dubai and now i can't go back to dubai because going back to dubai needs money i need only 3 thousands dollars i swear it will rest my life and change my life if someone help me i swear i will return him in one year because i have families issues i was the only one who take care but now i am in depression and anxiety 😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰by the sake of god i am real and i will prove you my condition and dubai job details 😭
I've only witnessed two deaths, and it's messed me up, so has dementia in my family, I've found myself teetering on the brink. I can't begin to imagine what first responders see every day. There's no shame in talking about it, no matter how tough you are, or what you've been through. Kudos for speaking out.
Takes balls to share like that Brother. Thank you. I too just recently have been having a real tough time all of a sudden some old shit resurfaced and wont go away.. Ill get through it tho. Thanks for sharing.
Mental wounds heal but they always leave behind a scar. My situations didn't start eating me up until I stepped away. Sometimes I still randomly break down but nobody said guys aren't allowed to cry. It's important to have someone that you feel comfortable talking to. Can't just let that kind of shit fester.
Hope you're doing well--not still wrestling with that old shit...but if you are, keep working at it. Eventually it will be beaten into a thin paste you can mentally pour right out and have it either gone or in much better storage.
Thanks for this Jason. Took my first step today and admitted my depression and PTSD. Getting help from my Doc and my family. What you say about those thoughts......I had them too.
Well done! I swear that's almost the hardest part. Remember that if your counselor doesn't 'fit' you, there are a lot out there to choose from; when you find a good fit, you'll know.
Came across this again and still feel just as compelled to comment. This took supreme bravery and a true desire to help your field siblings. You surely have great character and I strive to be worthy of the same level of respect and regard you must get from your colleagues. The value of what your doing, aside from the field, cannot be overstated. Bravo once again. Your a hero to your patients and your colleagues. I hope you feel the love everybody has for your you bro!!
(I’m crying as I write this, so apologies in advance for any typos. ) Just seeing this now, 4 years on, but I wanted to say thank you for your vulnerability in opening up about this and sharing your story. I’m saddened you’ve been through this, but I’m also so glad you got help and are doing better now. I work in a different branch of the medical field, and I’ve been dealing with Passive SI for about.. 4 months now? Not the first time I’ve thought about it, but definitely the longest. I even have a sibling who attempted suicide a few years ago, but even knowing what it’s like to love someone who tried to end it, it still isn’t enough to make the feelings go away like you said. In addition to some pretty bad anxiety and depression I’ve had for years, I recently discovered I have Complex PTSD, stemming from over a decade of emotional/psychological/verbal etc abuse I experienced from multiple family member growing up. And if that weren’t enough, what made me start coming to terms with my past/cptsd, was being in a similarly abusive living situation, with someone who’s a highly respected and loved member of the community, with much more experience and seniority than me. I live on my own now, but it still feels impossible to escape the feelings of constant terror/helplessness/misery etc I felt around my ex roommate, even when I don’t have to see them in person (which I unfortunately still do). I’m trying to open up to more people, but it’s so hard when I’m terrified I wont be believed, especially by people who only know my ex roommates public persona, which is most people I know (personally and professionally). I was gaslit/victim blamed etc a lot as a kid the few times I tried to complain about the way I was being treated, and I don’t think I can survive going thru that again. It also doesn’t help that mental healthcare is so inaccessible where I am (I recently told my GP that my new/increased doses of antidepressants weren’t working and I wanted a referral to a psychiatrist to address my ongoing Passive SI. His response was literally just Why?) Anyways, sorry for venting on the internet, but I’d like to think I can make it thru this, and I hope everyone else can too
I'm not anyone special. I'm just someone who had a fxcked up childhood and I find myself suffering with suicidal ideation, wishing that I would be in a tragic accident or that I would die a slow, painful death. Videos like this helped me get through it, and helped me learn more about myself and how I am not alone in the world, and that people care about me. This mean a lot to a lot of people Jason. Thank you.
Watching this after my EMT friend showed me your channel (March 2023) and love your channel. I'm a combat vet (Infantry, Warrior First Responder/Combat Lifesaver). I have severe depression and ptsd and I struggle every day with wanting to stop the burden I place on everyone I know because of the differences. I'm hopeful, and I try. The struggle has been endless. I've been out of the service for 15 years. To be able to recover and help people again... I hope... maybe someday.
It can get better. Get help to talk it through. My grand dad was in WW1. He only cried every remembrance day, great heaving sobs. As well as doing veterans Mar he's to cenetaph. I was a RN, ER for years, finally got my PhD 8n psychology, and in honor of Grandpa and so many vets I had cared for over my career, I went to work for the Canadian Forces on base as a Psychologist, therapist. I saw many many soldiers returning from Afghanistan, and listened to their horrific experiences. They came back and back because I let them tell details they needed to tell, and I delayed all paperwork diagnosing PTSD if they requested it. It was hard, but I was honored to help. Best wishes to you.
As a fellow firefighter and EMR, thank you. I suffer from depression and have from a young age. I don't talk about it. I've only recently started opening up about it. Thank you brother. I for one am happy you didn't go through with it and got help.
As an OIF veteran and a FF/EMT thank you for sharing brother. I have been to two funerals in my life for fellow veterans who have taken there own lives. It is the two worst days I have ever had in my life. The look on their mother's faces as they saw us have haunted me ever since. I know that they did not blame us personally but I have never lost the feeling of blame to myself and others around me to do better. To everyone out there find someone on your crew, shift, department, professional, random person, who ever until someone will sit and listen to you. We are not afraid to call in extra crews to battle a fire don't ever be afraid to call in extra help when you are somewhere you can't get out of. The Mayday is there for a reason on the ground and off call it early and often but don't make your brothers and sisters have to bury you because it got to be too much.
I'm glad you talked about this. I have had depression and been sick since I was seven or eight years old. And I usually don't want to think that way it's just a habit but sometimes I'm just so tired. I'm so, so, SO unbelievably sorry you have to go through this, too. It'll hurt but we'll all make it, togehter
I’ve been dealing with depression for as long as I can remember but digging through personal records and such, it started to get bad (sh, suicidal thoughts) around 14 years old. I’m 21 now and will be 22 in June. It hasn’t been easy but it’s been a few months now since I last hurt myself or thought about just ending it all, it hasn’t been easy but I’ve managed so far. People like Jason make me feel heard and remind me that I am in fact not alone. Thank you dude, you’re helping people just be making us laugh and giving advice through your videos so spreading awareness like this is a further step up. These days every time I feel like giving up I have to consciously remind myself to “just stick around and see where life takes you” because the only thing that never changes is change.
I'm a paramedic, I've seen multiple suicide case. I still remember till this day of a young boy whom I attended to and I disregard as a minor problem then 4hrs later having him sitting on the ledge at a different location and jumped right infront of me. His parents was shocked when received news about him. A smile can really fool you, they will probably act cheerful but once you know it, they're gone. If they brought up a problem/topic, talk about it. If you don't wish to talk to someone, then imagine the people who you will left behind. Will they truly be happy? Stop thinking that you're a burden and none will shed a tear for you if you're gone. You won't know because you're dead. They will be crying for many nights, affecting their health, losing appetite and having negative thoughts about themselves thinking they're a failure for letting that happen to you. Your death will affect someone to do the same way and there's no way to fix it. Always think about your family and friends as well. Seek help if you need one.
Thank you Jason, for being so open and personal. I too have dealt with depression and thoughts of suicide. But can never give up and keep on fighting. And like you said your not alone.
Hey been watching you awhile and this just popped up. I appreciate what you do I am a disabled fireman. I got burnt up and some nasty chemicals the place didn’t have the MSDS for. Ptsd is a rough thing but always keep fighting people. I can clearly see people I couldn’t save and dream about it. I yell in my sleep. It happens but my wife is so supportive and helpful. Faith is most important. You may never get over things but you can continue to constantly fight for another day! Sincerely a dude on oxygen in a wheelchair at 29….
My brother took his life when I was just a kid and those thoughts about following him has always stayed with me. Thanks for talking about it and for being strong enough to stay. We need more people like you
I have struggled with depressive episodes as a result of BiPolar disorder since I was 15, and between 15 and 26 years old I had 4 episodes that turned suicidal and 2 attempts. I’m lucky to be here today and thankfully I am doing pretty well all things considered. My older brother gave me some advice that has really stuck with me and I will share it for anyone else struggling. Don’t apply a permanent solution to a temporary problem…
Jason, can I just come over and give you a big hug? I really felt that story you told and I really hurt when you told the story of the dad who did commit suicide. I’ve seen the aftermath, and I know how it hurts. I respect you for telling that story and I sincerely hope that it gets better for you, and that it will stay better. Being a first responder is not easy, but you have impacted so many lives as one, and even just with this TH-cam channel you have impacted people. Thank you.
This is the first time I’ve seen this. You are exactly right! Keep up the good work! I was a dispatcher and then a cop and have dealt with suicides. They are so sad. I have friends who have dealt with family who have gone that route. It’s a terrible deal, but there is help out there!
That’ was bad ass right there I would never have had the courage to share that publicly. That was well spoken, honest, and personal and I’m sure made a difference in many lives. I grew up learning to bury your feelings and so I did so even after these 19 years in EMS and it really stopped me from enjoying this wonderful life I was given. Thanks for the share
Mr. Patton. I am a mother of a firefighter ( lives and breathes it) and a HUGE FAN of your videos. I often will watch your videos.then I’ll send them to my son and ask do you act like this( the one with the Etta James song. also with 😂)? 9 out of 10, His response is yes. However, I saw this video ( broke my heart) and I wanted you know that I’m so THANKFUL that you were BRAVE enough to get the help that you needed. Your life purpose is certainly being fulfilled through your job and these HILARIOUS videos. Keep’em coming... firemom Rebecca
Not even in EMS/LE/Mil, but yeah the desire not to be a mess for someone to clean up and a statistic in an annual log is a powerful motivator. Thanks for including that and for making this video. Thanks for being this vulnerable.
Thank you for this brother. I've got 15 years on the job and your story is a mirror image of mine a few years ago. Since then I've done my damnedest to teach the younger generations to talk about this like we never did and I know how influential your videos are to many of us around the country. Keep it up and never give up the fight. We've never met but we're all in this together. Much love from Texas L846
this is the most important and sobering video you've made. my 19 year old brother David shot and killed himself 5pm October 13th 2017 with my gun while I begged him not to. he'd gotten a DUI and felt hopeless. I've been a volunteer firefighter since early 2017 and we've had an alarming number of suicides the past 3 years -especially near Christmas. my first experience was 8am February 12th 2012 when I found a man (father of 5) hanging one mile from my parents home. people have no idea how much it fucks everyone that knew/loved them. it's almost never the right solution and calling it cowardly is absolutely irrelevant. when you reach absolute rock bottom the only thought is the sweet release of death. fight through the temptation because it'll hurt everyone around you far more than you can imagine.
@Lizzie Allen he left 13 audio recordings on his cell phone because he had watched "13 Reasons" the night before hoping it would convince him to not go through with it. Listening to all of them was absolutely brutal. He never blamed us but explained a lot of personal stuff that built up to his death.... ive never seen a suicide where a note wasn't left but it does happen occasionally
Much love from a fellow Paramedic from NYC.... it is a big issue... we just need to realize it first. The mental burnout n stress from pts n from the job along with personal life can compound it greatly. Thanks for the message. Best of luck. Now go n eat a Jalapeno or Ghost pepper Chocolate.... lol
Thank you for reaching out to our community and sharing your story. I've struggled with depression my entire life and I've gone through some horrible periods- I always kept it to myself and I never got any better. I finally reached out and while I'm not perfect, I'm a lot better. My life has improved and this experience has motivated me to advocate mental wellness and peer support for my agency and the people around me. Talking about depression, mental wellness, and suicide is the only way to break the stigma and help our Brothers and Sisters. Be Well, Brother.
Ive been in EMS 15 years, 6 B 9A. the one call we had a 8 yr old in arrest from a prolonged seizure and didnt get them back. Its the only time I did mouth to mouth without a barrier mask. End of shift i went home and drank. The mext morning I broke down and cired my eyes out for like two days. I called off my shift and the sup was all "really? youre calling in?" The term jackass may have been used on my end. Point is, we deal with this crap and were fine and fine and fine then. itll be this one call or situation and everything hits at once. My best advice and i tell my trainees- get a counselor now and see em every month or two so theyre there when you need them. If anyone gives you shit, theyre the ones to watch closer. No shame in having support.
I appreciate you and doing this. Since I was forced to retire from career ending injury I have struggled and still do everyday. I stay in the fight from seeing the pain of those left behind from FF suicide. Just so you know, your videos make me laugh and this one made me cry and I am a veteran and permanently disabled firefighter. As a former Marine I know what you have done takes pure courage and strength. It is easy to bury things and not deal with them. Thank you for this video and all you do!!!
Jason... I never knew you went through it... I have seen your TH-cam shorts it never occurred to me... I am a teen who was taught the way to help people stay on earth.... I have saved countless but lost 5..... I struggle with it too.... I just wonder if I did better would they still be with me... I wanna thank you for this. You're an amazing person and I hope one day to be a first responder. Thank you for this
Healthcare professional here. I know exactly what you mean. Glad to see you're still here, bud. Keep fighting the good fight and never give up. We give each other strength.
I see this was originally posted 4 years ago; I'm sure that it's still helping people.❤ Don't underestimate the power of a strong, successful, confident person such as yourself (on the outside) confessing they were affected by thoughts and feelings people have every day. You are a true hero.❤
Thank you for being so open and vulnerable. You're one of those people, where mental health issues aren't obvious. You always seem so happy and confident. Thank you for showing that what we see does not always mirror what goes on inside somebody.
Man you are a blessing, To anyone who might need it- you are worth the time it will take to heal, to get better. It’ll be hard yes, it’ll be painful yes, but You are Worth it, you are worthy of the love it takes to get better.
I think youre alive to help the rest of us. Thank you for speaking of your own struggles with suicidal thoughts. My son is far away from where i live, which is Florida. I had to move from Indiana to here for safety because I left my abusive husband and he stalked me every day. I lived in a small town, so it was hard to hide from him. So here I am living with bipolar, ptsd and anxiety that gives me really bad panic attacks. My son and I are now estranged due to not having the same opinion and beliefs. Also, my almost 77 year old Mother was diagnosed with uterine cancer. She had a hysterectomy on March first and it had spread to a lumph node, which is bad news. I've been thinking about suicide again for several weeks. Thank you so much for talking about your experiences with thoughts of suicide and depression. It's 5:00 a.m, and again I woke up wide awake. My son wont even speak to me. Hes my only child, but he's grown. I just became a grandma too. Ive attempted suicide before several times and came very close to dying. I just want the pain to go away. Thank you for your touching story and experiences. I came in the living room, turn the TV to TH-cam, and there you are. I really needed to hear what you said. Thank you so much. I actually see a pinpoint of light at the end of my very dark tunnel. God bless!❤
Thank you for the strength and courage that I'm sure it took to post this video. I'm sure that there are people out there who stopped themselves from suicide by seeing this video. So many of us have had this like these. It's good to know that there are others who've been there and made it through
I have watched your videos and they always bring a smile to my face. This year (2020) has been an extremely tough year for me, not just with COVID, but with life in general. I am in a broken marriage, and after 26.5 years in the petrochemical industry, I retired due to seeing 15 of my close friends die in an industrial accident and the increasing stresses of the job. I was an EMT-I and moved to the private sector which was great for a while, but after 20 years as a medic, the stress here is getting overwhelming. I have often told people that suicide only transfers your pain to someone else, because they have to live with missing all of the signs and not being there for you in a more meaningful way. This is the one thought that keeps me from suicide, even though I wake up everyday and say to myself how much I hate my life, how much I hate my stress, and how I don't really have anyone that I can reach out to discuss this on a meaningful level. I am trying to get into a family counselor first as an individual, then maybe moving into family counseling. The tears are streaming down my face right now and I feel I have been helped by your video.
I had depression and light drug use before choosing to become an EMT. No longer working because I decided I needed a break for my own mental health. Went back to smoking pot and then had a health scare that sent me into an anxiety attack. It's important to deal with stress in a healthy way or else you risk losing yourself as a person. I still have a major passion for EMS and I hope I can take my experiences and grow from them. I can't tell you how much it sucks obtaining your goal but then you get PTSD because of it. The toughest thing was breaking down in front of my parents and telling them how I was feeling but sometimes you just have to open the flood gates. Crying doesn't make a person any weaker. Hopefully I can take my experiences and help other people in similar shoes.
Some days wind up 'teeth and toenails' to hang in there, but once it's better, it's hard to believe it ever happened. Believe it. Talk about it. Help at least one person a day, smile. (Seriously. Makes a huge difference in your own outlook!)
Love you man, your videos are the best. Im a retired firefighter/paramedic and am currently in nursing School. My sister committed suicide this year and my fiance dumped me right before my lvn finals. My depression is pretty bad. Ive had aone daek thoughts. If it wasnt for my daughter and grandson and a really solid network of friends i would be there. The best line ive heard about is that suicide doesn't end the pain, it just transfers it to others. The thoughts and fantasies have cerpt in but its this thought that keeps me going . The love of my family abd friends. They deserve more from me. So i keep going and push through the pain. Ypur videos have been a source of joy and laughter to me in some dark times. Ive shared them with my fellow firefighters and nursing students. Keep them comming.after my career ive seen some horrible things, i have nightmares and bad memories. A lot of good ones too. I console myself by knowing in everyone of those i did all I was able to help and comfort them. There's quite a few that i see in my memories.
Great post....might want to add a counselor in there somewhere, just in case. There are some times when you wind up editing to 'save' friends and family from the way you feel, and that's when an uninvolved ear is really helpful. Good luck, and you're going to rock as a nurse!
I am just a regular citizen and I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety, and ptsd. There was a time in my life the anger was so deep and dark inside me I wanted to die. I could never be a first responder. The most I could do is handle calls for kittens stuck in a tree. I take meds and laugh (I'm the funniest person I know) watching your channel, Officer Smith's channel, and a couple others, because y'all make me really laugh out loud. Keep up the excellent work, and I thank each and every one of you on here for fighting through it and carrying on keeping people like me, safe! 💝💝💝💝💝
Thank you, brother. I'm a retired 20 year career firefighter/medic, and I've been there. Having brothers share it with our brothers and sisters is the only way I see us getting a handle on this. I know it's tough, but you have made a difference by sharing your struggle. Yeah, I'm late to the game (is this video really 4 years old?), but thank you.
I don't know what stroke of luck this four year old video managed to surface in a lowpoint of my day today when I had those thoughts. Not a first responder or anything, just a normal guy. I got hit with serious bit of nostalgic depression, missing friends I used to talk too and old chats we've had ages ago. We've all fallen out of touch and it just hit me like bricks when I realized I missed them all. Some I have no way of reaching out to anymore. So this morning I just had that thought of "If I just did this.. would my brain cope by making me live old memories or childhood fantasies just to have a makeup 'happy ending' " Just to make myself feel better about it all. Then I opened the recommended feed on mobile and it was the third video that was right there. Caught my attention almost instantly. I just want to say, thank you. ❤
Just came across this. So true. I think you don't have to be a first responder to have PTSD - some kids get it just trying to grow up. I know I did. I've fought with depression and thoughts of suicide most of my life. The one thing that saved me was knowing the terrible effect it has on those left behind. My mother had lost a dearly beloved uncle - and never really got over it. If there is anyone or anything you care about think about them. If dogs and even cats have grieved for years for lost owners think of what it can do to another person or/especially a child in your life.
Im a 14 year career firefighter from NC. We had an fellow firefighter that was an amazing person who was going through something similar as your family friend. He unfortunately took his own life. People who aren’t firefighters do not realize how brave you are to admit that you struggle with depression, especially being in our career where we don’t like to show emotion. Stay strong Brother and just know you matter and have worth. Keep bringing us your videos. You are a legend in my department.
Thank you for not killing yourself and bringing me joy, laughter, and now sadness through your videos. You are not only a great entertainer but you are also a great educator. Thank you again for all you do!
Thank you for making this video….. Being someone that many of us look up to and admire, you being so frank about mental health issues really hits home and has an impact.
I'm not a firefighter, I'm not a paramedic, just a kid with messed up brain chemistry but... Someone this strong has been in the same place as me. It means a lot.
We are no stronger than you. We’ve simply found a way to process the horrible shit we see. And the way we do it, in general, is not healthy. Hang in there. It might not seem it, but I does get better, and it all in you.
@@visamedic Thank you.
My man I'm just like you, I was in a horrible place but I made it out and I have a good mate who copping it harder than me but he's still alive and he hasn't given up, I've seen what he goes through. You'll be alright in the end I promise, you just can't give up because the moment you do you start losing and if you think your family doesn't care about you I promise they do, some people don't know how to show it. Never give up, I guarantee you the people around you care about you so much more than you believe
@@bradleyh4532 I've been getting better. There are still bad days and sometimes I want to fall back on old habits more than anything, but when I look forward, I can see a future again. I won't give up on it. You keep going too, okay? We've got this. We're going to make it.
I hope you feel better. My favorite thing to do is have a dog to pet that helped me a lot. If you have a dog give the bark bark nom nom a big hug and it will help you feel better.
That took some serious balls to open up like that in such a public way. I applaud you for doing so. We need to get rid of the stigma that's associated with mental health issues as a weakness in first responders. Thank you for sharing this story.
This is what we have to change we have to make it ok to talk about. We shouldn’t we viewing this as a tough guy competition. Talking about it may make us stronger we learn that maybe next time you could start this drip over doing that push dose and such. Mental ill ones in some form affect EMS/ fire. We have to be crazy to want to do this job 😁
#mattcunningham. Yes it took strength for him to publish such personal information. We the public see first response as super heroes. Kind of childish to discribe in such a way but I believe it is true. Some who is a police officer and has the power to save a life or take it away. A firefighter. Someone who goes into a house or building without thinking about themselves. Just to save someone else. Nurse, doctor, EMT, paramedic all of the above is a job, someone's brother or sister or son or daughter no matter the age or color of his or her own skin. All decided to take on the risk to help someone else. The military. I can write this to you without fear because of them. We tend to forget that, at the end of the day, when there clothes come off no matter what they choose to where that identifies them in their profession are a human being also.
sadly i know of a friend of mine that was a firefighter, and he was let go and basically pushed away from the department right after he came out to his leadership of his mental health. thats why alot of firefighters police ems and the like never come out with it. for fear of losing their career
When I opened up about my mental health struggles I was viewed as unable to do my job and targeted by many.
Ending this stigma that all men can't express emotion is the key. It's not just a first-responder thing. Men are more prone to suicide because society tells them to internalize everything. Frankly I prefer to be around men who are free with their emotions; I feel safer around them.
This hits hard...I been fired just an hour ago...third world country...no money, no family....So strange this popped up....Thanks. Came just in time.
Your situation will get better. It always does. You got this.
@@prometheusexe Thank you so much.
sometimes the hard times seem to go on forever. but nothing stays the same forever. So, enjoy the good times and know the bad times will come to an end. And you might not realize it but your perseverance in the face of adversity will inspire someone else to keep going. Oh, and it is okay to ask for help. True friends will be happy to be there for you.
As tough as life is, you have to realize an easy life is so beyond unrealistic. Sometimes luck may be down and you may be stressed struggling with things around you. But you have to realize that feeling suicidal isn’t rare but it’s unfortunately pretty common. I really hope whatever you’re going through it will get better. ❤️🩹 you got this. Don’t let nobody tell you you’re nothing because you are something special in this world. You have been given a life that some don’t have anymore. I hope you find the love you are looking for ❤
@@DfryOfficial Thank you so much.
"Depression is never rational"... For some reason that thought has kept me alive for decades.
@@acbulgin2 but happy feel good
Your mind will rationalise anything which is actually absolute total nonsense, if you don't take those antidepressants. And it will seem like clear reality to you.
Most people are depressed for rational reasons
@@ArenaRat-xd8fu Its not about that. Its more driven by the reality is that your mind becomes soo twisted that you are unable to understand the possibly good things that can come if you choose to look for them. Its never possible to rational out of depression, and that's precisely why sadness and depression are 2 different things and why depression is classified as an actual illness. Why people get there is completely rational, but what keeps us there is not rational.
@@azuremoon-4 i have a degree in psychology, do you? Thanks for a wrong answer
As a dad currently going through a divorce after discovering an affair, thanks for this. The algorithm is wild for showing me this video when it did.
we love you ❤ stay strong
Stay strong, is for the better. You got this!
I've been there. Have faith that it gets better.
Seem to hear a story like this every 10 minutes, from a man’s perspective it is very scary
At least, you discovered it and she won't make your life hell anymore! Without negative energy around you, you'll feel so much better! That's what I wish I had said to my dad but was too young to understand a single thing and now he's passed away but with someone who didn't love him. So, I'd say I'm glad for you, I'm glad you're free and you'll find someone who's worth it!
I have to say thank you. When I was 16 I had a suicide attempt. I remember sitting on my couch as my family watched the medical personnel take my O2, provide wellness check to make sure I was stable and get me to the hospital. I got locked up in the mental ward for children and put on medication. My life got a bit better, I finished high school, but lately my life’s been a long, endless day. Yesterday at 2 am I was thinking of suicide again and ran into your videos. I had to stop watching because I didn’t want to wake my family from laughing so much. But seeing this video makes me feel seen. I know what it’s like, and because of you I’m going to see my doctor about getting more help. Thank you.
Saw this was posted a year ago... i hope you're okay ❤
Sending you love and positive vibes💙💕🙏
It’s been 2 years since you posted this. I hope you followed through, because you truly matter.
Thank you for this.
Wish you well. May you never experience those thoughts again
Thanks for making this video. I grew up with a suicidal mother, and have vivid memories of her grabbing a knife and locking herself in the bathroom after telling me "thats it, im done". She has always felt deep remorse for putting me through that, and since then we have had many deep serious discussions about suicide , death, and mental health, which i believe has helped her to still be around, and me to not end up in a place like hers. We need to stop feeling weird about the topic, so we can discuss it whenever it happens to be on our minds before it turns bad. And amazing men like yourself, men who so many hold in high regard, breaching the topic in a public way is exactly what we need. Thanks for making me laugh AND cry. What a great channel you have created. ❤
Sorry you went through that :(
Hope you’re doing better
Did you leave your mum or did you stay with her? I'm trying to leave my mum but she's made me so weak that I want to give up on everything.
@@missophelie3781 I'm out of the house now but stayed with her till I was 19 or so but I didn't move out because of her. I can't tell you what you should do without knowing the situation, but I would absolutely tell you to seek family counseling from someone. I highly recommend the online service betterHelp. It's affordable and can be extremely helpful if only just to find out how to even think about the situation you're in. Please stay strong and healthy. You got this. And so does she.
@@missophelie3781you good bro?
Holy hell dude
Thank you I am not a firefighter but I am a paramedic. Thank you for making it ok to talk about the hard times not just the good times!
Brandon Cook
I’m a paramedic in Texas. I honestly thought I was the only one who is having a hard time talking about it. Thank you so much for just saying that it’s okay to talk about the hard times. Thanks brother. Stay safe
Heath Garton hey man, we are all in a similar boat. I’m pretty new to the paramedic scene but I can say with confidence we’ve all scene some hard shit. Finding someone to talk to has saved my life personally. I wish the best to you and good luck in your career. To echo the video, we aren’t alone.
sometimes this job says we can’t talk about it and sometimes that is true. Sometimes we know already that the patient isn’t going to make it but we convince our selves we can do and then we fail. Classic case of setting Unattainable goals. Then we shut down and don’t talk about it. You’ll see that most people in this career field will talk about the ones they do win rarely do we ever brag about the ones we learned from
Just remember that we all are out here seeing the same shit and talking will help. You have family,And I know that sometimes we don’t want to bring this to our family however sometimes they can be the biggest center. We have partners and peers. There are groups even online ones that can help
Four years later, this is not old.
Depression is a silent killer. I go through depression, and I am in medical treatment. Talking openly is hard to begin, but it helps a lot. Don't give up.
This popped up for me and seeing this is 4yrs old hit harder for some reason, i was wondering if its algorithm or just a lucky chance encounter, good to know im not the only one seeing this 4yrs late
I agree that for many people it can get better, and it is good to talk about it and try other forms of treatment.
But what if nothing helps much? Is there a point at which we have enough empathy to help someone who has tried so many things for years, to let them end their suffering?
I have been talking openly about it for decades. I am now 54, have had years of multiple kinds of therapy, tried at least 8 different antidepressants (several of them for years).
I have been suicidal at least part of the time every year of my adult life. I have become less and less able to take care of myself. I have not worked in 15 years. Nothing has come close to helping enough for years. For the last 6 months I have been suffering at least 5 or 6 days/week.
How long do I have to suffer before others will acknowledge that maybe I could be allowed to stop existing?
@@JaniceinOR this is a valid question, which I am not in the position to give a valid answer to. I am very sorry to hear you are suffering so much. I hope you can find a peaceful way out of your pain.
@@andrebartels1690
Thank you. Me too.
It would be easier to find a peaceful way out if I were not worried that anyone giving me information might be prosecuted for thereby helping me.
I worked as a child protective services investigator for nearly a decade. Saw some stuff that will never leave me. The thought of ending it all have never left but with help, I’ve never felt better. Always get helped and don’t stop getting help. Never stop.
Thank you for the work. And thank you for sharing.
Thank you for your amazing strength, many people will remember you - and you are the one that saved them. You will always be needed, but don't forget to take time for yourself.
"Roughly three years ago" "I have a three year old daughter" I see..
I'm glad you're still alive and in her life, she needs her daddy. and you seem like a pretty good dude who makes a pretty good dad.
Raising a child is the hardest thing a person can do
@@TwizzlerGirlit really is. Hard in every possible way, but I swear to god, it's actually saved my life too. If it weren't for my kids, I never EVER would have survived losing my mom. She was everything. They gave me the ability to focus on them instead of the loss. There were some awful moments, but they always give me so much love, how could I feel anything but love.
And we don't talk enough about post partum depression. Just the other year I read about it in an article at work that fathers get them too. I am a health worker, so this article was from a medical magazin, not any newspaper
Yeah I was suicidal before I had my daughter, when she was born I realized my purpose in life, being a parent is the most amazing thing
I was suicidal until I had my son. My son saved me@@c.barrett5114
I joined a volunteer company because I had PTSD and depression/ocd, and it was recommended to me by my therapist to join some kind of outside activity or community. I've never been happier, I've finally found a group of people who understand what the hell I'm talking about and don't get weirded out by dark humor. It really saved my life.
We're a large, very disfunctional, family, I joined mine in 2006 or so, best years of my life, then I got old, got hurt, and moved, I miss it, but still stop by and talk to the folks at my local FD. Stay safe!
Sometimes the FD can be the best place to be, the guys all support you
@@SheepdogSmokey TOTALLY RELATE! Your not alone!
It's really how cool how you said "took the way out" instead of "took the easy way out." It becomes easy to shame people who take their own lives, and we often don't realize how that shames people who are thinking about taking their own lives. Love your regular content, love this video, and love firefighters, EMTs, and paramedics. Merry Christmas.
Exactly right! Thank you for mentioning this! We seem to LOVE to shame people in our society these days! Shame is a form of tyranny; i dont know if people realize this or not.
@@inconnu4961 shame is a great way behavior for people to feel superior and its incredible easy faucet for people to project their insecurity to superiority in groups.
more often than not, those who seek to end their lives may not source it from "laziness" (oversimplification of the complexity that leads to that point), but seek to end their lives as they see world better without their existence. Suicide seemingly selfish is usually warped into selflessness by the "lazy" person. Again this point is individualistic and may not apply to all.
"opted out" ~ daryl dixon
It's just that life is rough and especially rent
This just saved my life.
Thankyou Jason.
As tough as life is, you have to realize an easy life is so beyond unrealistic. Sometimes luck may be down and you may be stressed struggling with things around you. But you have to realize that feeling suicidal isn’t rare but it’s unfortunately pretty common. I really hope whatever you’re going through it will get better. ❤️🩹 you got this. Don’t let nobody tell you you’re nothing because you are something special in this world. You have been given a life that some don’t have anymore. I hope you find the love you are looking for ❤
I am so so proud of you. I hope you're still here.
You got this. You’re worth it. Don’t ever feel like you’re alone. The world would be a worse place without you in it. You are lovable, and worthy of love, and there is a lot of love in you to give. You still have so much to do.
Those are things I’d tell myself to get me through…you’re amazing and can overcome anything.
“Hang on to your dreams. The world is built on dreams” (Optimus Prime).
Never give up.
It’s been a month since you posted, how you doing?
I’m going to put this here because the lack of responses means I’ll be seen.
There’s one thing that I wish people did for me when I was suicidal. I wish people validated me wanting to die. It’s really important for these people to know that they’re not selfish or cowardly, they’re not out of pocket for wanting a way out. We live in a cruel world and not every struggle ends in triumph. Unlike what FDC says, some people really are alone. Sometimes you’re in a hole you can’t dig your way out of and no one cares enough to rescue you.
Suicide is a desperate last resort when people feel like they have no options. It’s a very human thing, a very natural reaction. That’s what people have always been doing, making something out of nothing. These people are valid and we need to tell them that. They need to know that they’re valid for wanting a solution but feeling like there isn’t one. They’re valid for escalating to the final conclusion because they can’t see any way out. The most important thing for preventing suicide is to let them know that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to do it.
FOR ANYONE STRUGGLING
-
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I can’t tell you that you’re not alone. Maybe you are. I can’t tell you that there’s an answer. Maybe there isn’t one. But what I can tell you is that what time gives, time will take away. Nothing can stay the same forever. Even if it’s a long time coming, a change will come. Bide your time. Just wait. Give things a chance to turn around. In the meantime, while your waiting, here’s what I want you to do for me. In no particular order.
Eat a fruit or a vegetable.
Brush your teeth, shower, some other form of basic hygiene.
Pick a chore around your house and do it.
I can kinda relate. I was 14 when I was sent to the ER for a failed OD. I take meds for depression now. Still fighting but we got this guys.
Same. I'm 14 and my last attempt was December 8th 2023.
@@rainwater_leaf4939Please know this is not the answer. You are so young! There is so much you haven’t lived yet. You will find your place, your people. It just takes time. You are here for a reason. Please keep fighting. I’ve been there, at your age, it does get better. ❤
My last attempt was on October 22, 2023. I have suffered from depression since I was eight or nine, and I've been admitted to psychiatric hospitals more times than I'm comfortable admitting. The fact that people regard suicide and psych hospitals in such a low manner still baffles me. Remember that not everyone in a 'psych ward' is insane. We are just calling for help. And we are getting it. @@rainwater_leaf4939
I hope you both are feeling better.
@@rainwater_leaf4939 you don't know me , but im proud of you for still being here.
Real men cry. Real men talk.
We need more men like Jason. May every police officer, military, fire fighter, & all those in EMS know that you matter and you are irreplaceable. My love and gratitude for all that you do each and every day! ✝️🇺🇸❤️
Just don't do it in front of your wife or girlfriend or they'll leave you. Women freely admit this is true.
@@cyclone8974 If your partner rejects you for opening up, then there's something wrong with them. I know lots of (married) couples that are thriving because at the core of their relationship is vulnerability. Don't believe that vulnerability is weak or wrong. It's the strongest thing you can do and it makes us human, and allows us to connect to one another.
@@Kbabknight good luck with that thinking.
@@cyclone8974 My husband and I have been VERY open with our mental healths. Traumatizing childhoods, mental imbalances, abuse, PTSD and suicide attempts. I have fully supported my husband as I KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE. I tried to kill myself. I was not in a good way, and the sense of control I felt when I made my decision in a place where there WAS no control was liberating. My husband also had a similar experience. I saw him at his lowest and I was scared because I knew EXACTLY what he was going through. I did not shame him, I did not scold him. I talked to him, told him I loved him very much, and that we would get through it together. He is so much better now and I am So SO proud of him. When I had suicidal ideations I went to a neighbor's house and admitted I needed help bc I have a chronic pain condition that I felt we couldn't afford and thought I wanted to end it all again and knew I wasn't okay and with my mindset I was convinced that we should end it. We are better now. We pick each other up and bring out the best in each other. Admittedly there are many women raised that men are provider's and should be strong and not show emotions. I was raised by two lovely parents who did their best with the cards they were dealt and told me it's okay to feel your emotions and cry it out, it's healthy for EVERYONE. Unfortunately not all women are raised that way. But as someone who knows Suicide quite well I have become someone who tells everyone that it isn't the answer. We have been proved time and time again that things DO get better. I am so sorry you have to do that or feel like you have to do that in front of your significant other. Communication goes both ways and you should BOTH be able to express your concerns and emotions. IT IS HEALTHY! If I weren't able to express my emotions I would be dead. No one would have known I had a plan or that I was depressed in the first place. PLEASE talk to others! To your loved ones!!!!!!!! If they judge or react like you can't tell them those things 👏🏻 THAT'S 👏🏻 NOT 👏🏻 O👏🏻KAY👏🏻 They don't deserve you!!!! COMMUNICATION IS KEY! PEOPLE WILL MISS YOU WHEN YOU'RE GONE!! YOU ARE LOVED.
@@cyclone8974 My husband and I have been VERY open with our mental health. Traumatizing childhoods, mental imbalances, abuse, PTSD and suicide attempts. I have fully supported my husband as I KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE. I tried to kill myself. I was not in a good way, and the sense of control I felt when I made my decision in a place where there WAS no control was liberating. My husband also had a similar experience. I saw him at his lowest and I was scared because I knew EXACTLY what he was going through. I did not shame him, I did not scold him. I talked to him, told him I loved him very much, and that we would get through it together. He is so much better now and I am So SO proud of him. When I had suicidal ideations I went to a neighbor's house and admitted I needed help bc I have a chronic pain condition that I felt we couldn't afford and thought I wanted to end it all again and knew I wasn't okay and with my mindset I was convinced that we should end it. We are better now. We pick each other up and bring out the best in each other. Admittedly there are many women raised that men are provider's and should be strong and not show emotions. I was raised by two lovely parents who did their best with the cards they were dealt and told me it's okay to feel your emotions and cry it out, it's healthy for EVERYONE. Unfortunately not all women are raised that way. But as someone who knows Suicide quite well I have become someone who tells everyone that it isn't the answer. We have been proved time and time again that things DO get better. I am so sorry you have to do that or feel like you have to do that in front of your significant other. Communication goes both ways and you should BOTH be able to express your concerns and emotions. IT IS HEALTHY! If I weren't able to express my emotions I would be dead. No one would have known I had a plan or that I was depressed in the first place. PLEASE talk to others! To your loved ones!!!!!!!! If they judge or react like you can't tell them those things 👏🏻 THAT'S 👏🏻 NOT 👏🏻 O👏🏻KAY👏🏻 They don't deserve you!!!! COMMUNICATION IS KEY! PEOPLE WILL MISS YOU WHEN YOU'RE GONE!! YOU ARE LOVED.
My daughter almost ended her life at 8 years old over bullying that started almost immediately in school...8 years old. The string she used broke. My miracle named Mercy is currently 14 years old and now advocates for others with PTSD and depression. Sure wants to be a tactical leo and handle K-9s. She's wanted to be an officer since she could put together sentences. Since my husband and I are prior EMS/Vol Fire, we have some friends who've offered to help with that when she's ready. We home school and still encourage her to keep reaching for that career goal. She's gone from wanting to take her own to pushing herself to save others. She's proof that it's not the answer. Love watching y'all. Thanks for sharing this.
Ooh, I ache for you and your daughter going through that but how wonderful that she got the love and help she needed and is an advocate for victims of bullies. My daughter attempted suicide at 18, a lot of factors including being prescribed an antidepressant that flipped her from depression to suicidal. She's 37 now, still troubled by the past but a fierce fighter and the light of my life. Hope you and your daughter are doing well. Thanks for sharing. 🤗🖖✌
Y’all great parents ❤️ I couldn’t imagine that pain and stress. May God be with you and your daughter, he will always love you ❤️ I know your daughter will be one hell of an officer ma’am ❤️
And THAT kids is why you don't let 8 year olds have social media's accounts.
@@yasininn76 bullying exists even without social media. Bullying that drives victims to suicide is generally up close and personal. How does restricting social media prevent that?
@yasininn76 I had a similar incident when I was only 11. No social media or internet communication involved. Restricting that doesn't prevent these things from happening.
As someone who almost committed suicide, my little sister found me with a shotgun in my mouth and was about to pull the trigger, I can truly say that it helps to open up to others about your problems and get help. It was the shock and horror on her face that stopped me from taking my own life that day, and later on, because of what I went through, was able to help others who were struggling with suicidal thoughts. To whoever needs to read this, whatever you are going through it isn't worth taking your life over, it just hurts the people who love you the most.
@@meteorwindthat trauma is something my mom watched my dad put a shotgun to his head and pull the trigger and that is something she will never recover from it mentally destroyed her. It didn't kill him instantly so she was able to kinda communicate with him before he passed , so fair warning it isn't always the fastest way and as much as I despise life and being alive I can't put that type of trauma on anyone else
@@markodenbrett4363 Just know that the more you struggle, the stronger you will become. A big part of getting over this depression mindset is being optimistic. A lot of people choose to lose all hope and think that nothing will ever get better, but they're wrong. Be happy and look forward to your future in life. We don't know for certain what's on the other side, but like you said, it'll only hurt people more by taking your life. You've really got a lot to live for. Find a hobby, find a friend or a spouse. Trust me, there is someone out there waiting for you. Me personally, I think about my future wife. I'm only 19, but I know she's out there somewhere and I cannot wait to start a family one day. Plus, I recently got my pilots license and am wanting to become an airline pilot one day. And boy it was hard to get that license but that was probably the best feeling I have ever had in my whole life. Trust me, life is amazing and there is something for everyone, regardless of who you are. You just need to find it!
God have mercy
I can’t imagine
My adult son shot himself in the head. The Coroner was retired and they called him in because everyone in the small community he lived in was in shock, and the retired man was the kindest. He told me not to read the report because I’m visual. I’ve seen other traumas.
You’re correct - the aftermath, the trauma, the pain to those left behind is beyond brutal. I wanted to exit this world also sooo bad afterward, and still struggle, but don’t want ANYONE to feel the way I do inside, ever. Not even my worst enemy (abusive ex).
It is difficult but I hold onto the fact that I believe he and others like him who struggle with brain injury, depression, etc. are in Heaven waiting for us.
Please trust God, even if you’re mad at Him. It wasn’t His fault, we all have free will. It’s a gift. We chose what we do with our lives, and what we do with the tuck that happens to us caused by others poor choices.
Life is hard. Heaven will be great. Believe in Jesus - He’s a great hope 💝🕊🙏🏼
@@GodsSparrowSpeaks I am so sorry for your loss. I needed to read this message. Sending you so much love and healing.
@@jantesa Thank you SO much. It’s hard to write about it. 💐🦢
I know the persons who want to commit S are hurting inside, but it leaves such a path of emotional destruction, as well as a temptation to follow suit due to the insane level of grief felt.
Add in guilt as a parent, spouse, sibling, best friend, etc.) that we believe somehow some way we could have said one thing or known something that would have changed the situation.
There’s a Doctor, Dr. Amen (yes, his real name LOL) who has studied hundreds of thousands of brain scans, showing brain injury and trauma (physical and emotional) creates holes in the brain, which affect all. AND, it can be corrected/treated/healed.
A great books, hard to read; “Shattered By Suicide” by Gracie Thompson
and
“How To Survive The Loss of A Child” by Catherine M. Sanders, PhD
The latter lost her son at 17 in a boat accident and she went crazy from grief and trama, but recovered, went back to school and became a psychiatrist and is considered the “mother” so to speak, of grief therapy in America. Excellent book.
I did not mean to write so much to you, but hopefully this information will help someone. Even if it’s just one.
My big sister took her own life last year in December. I still can hardly believe I’ll never see her again.
What state did it happen in? Just out of curiosity.
I'm so sorry man... I hope you can find people that will help you get through the tough times...
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, dr.porassss. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
I wish they were readily available in my place.
Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac.
He's constantly talking about killing someone.
He's violent. Anyone reading this
Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.
Is he on instagram?
Yes he is dr.porassss
18 years as a paramedic I’ve been on at least a hundred successful suicides, two on one shift. From ten years old to ninety and everything in between. It’s one of the reasons I finally burned out. Bless all of you that have to deal with it now
State of Wyoming Many suicides occur because something suddenly happened and all you want to do is stop the overwhelming grief and pain. It happened twice with me, the sudden breakup with my wife and the death of a son. The thought of the aftermath of all the suicides I’d been on stopped me from going any farther
You’re bad mother trucker dude ! I know it hurts a lot and could only imagine how you felt. But you at least being there in support speaks volume, keep your head up, the world is yours. ❤
TEN YEARS OLD, FUCKING HELL....
Peak masculinity is being able to cry in front of a camera in order to help other people.
God tier
It is being brave enough to show emotion despite stigma against it. Respect.
I’m going to put this here because the lack of responses means I’ll be seen.
There’s one thing that I wish people did for me when I was suicidal. I wish people validated me wanting to die. It’s really important for these people to know that they’re not selfish or cowardly, they’re not out of pocket for wanting a way out. We live in a cruel world and not every struggle ends in triumph. Unlike what FDC says, some people really are alone. Sometimes you’re in a hole you can’t dig your way out of and no one cares enough to rescue you.
Suicide is a desperate last resort when people feel like they have no options. It’s a very human thing, a very natural reaction. That’s what people have always been doing, making something out of nothing. These people are valid and we need to tell them that. They need to know that they’re valid for wanting a solution but feeling like there isn’t one. They’re valid for escalating to the final conclusion because they can’t see any way out. The most important thing for preventing suicide is to let them know that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to do it.
FOR ANYONE STRUGGLING
-
-
I can’t tell you that you’re not alone. Maybe you are. I can’t tell you that there’s an answer. Maybe there isn’t one. But what I can tell you is that what time gives, time will take away. Nothing can stay the same forever. Even if it’s a long time coming, a change will come. Bide your time. Just wait. Give things a chance to turn around. In the meantime, while your waiting, here’s what I want you to do for me. In no particular order.
Eat a fruit or a vegetable.
Brush your teeth, shower, some other form of basic hygiene.
Pick a chore around your house and do it.
It's just peak humanity, nothing eldse... The rest are illusions created by idiotic people.
no it isnt
I am a retired Marine Platoon Sergeant. I was diagnosed with PTSD by mental health professional nearly three years before my retirement. I have never lost a Marine conducting high risk training or combat operations. I have lost more friends to suicide than friends to combat related deaths. A good friend of the family took his life this memorial weekend and I was devastated. I ended up having a break in the therapists office at the VA. I recently came to the conclusion that I wasn't depressed about that, but that I am heart-broken that my friend took his own life. Rest in peace, Frank.
Semper Fidelis.
Edit: I tell my wife this frequently, as I chuckle to myself, that your content never fails to make me smile. Thank you for that.
Thank you for your service
It’s because we aren’t getting pussy
Semper Fidelis Devil Dog.
Semper Fi
thank you for your service
This video is still reaching people man, thanks for speaking out
Asked the universe for a sign this morning and this pops up on my feed. Thanks for sharing ❤
My husband is a firefighter and told me about a coworker who intentionally crashed his car to kill himself. I was dealing with my own depression at the time and found myself driving to work and started to envision doing it myself. I immediately got help but know how scary the thought was and how close I came to wanting to execute it.
I did the, driving to work too. thinking of what to hit. a buss, pole, three or something else. day out and day in driving back and forth. I got help getting out of my situation, I could not handle going to work, I got too stressed and it gave me a depression.
Today I'm way more happy. still the negative thoughts comes now and then. but not to the point where I don't want to live.
I'm an Atheist so my thinking was, If I killed my self it would be like before I was born. I would never know I ever existed. so fast and easy relief.
But I kept thinking about my twin brother and my mother. and that kept me going for the most part.
Mark Bjering Mine was driving home from work. There's this perfect spot where the ramp from another freeway merges to the one I drove, on a long curve. On the other side of that ramp is a steep drop-off, with no guardrail. The only reason I didn't go off was I didn't want to mess up my Bronco.
@@sophierobinson2738 Ya, I think most people have something to keep them from going that extra step. people are different, like some work best at night. or some are just more stressed then others. or can't handle the same amount of work. and so on. if this was taken seriously society would work better for everyone. but society if set up for one solution fit all. but it does just not work for everyone. so some get stressed out to the point where it's not worth living anymore.
I'm just lucky I live in a country where we have safety nets for people with problems. so we can get help. the only problem is that it can take many years before they find the right fit for you. so that means that some people just quit before a solution can be found.
Because our society is build around money. so people are forced to work a set amount of hours. where back in the day, in the gather hunter age. it was up and down from day to day how much you had to work. hours where not set.
I added these comments with a link to your video on our local FF page: My Fire Chief says it very simply: "we all have PTSD." We spend our days and nights saturating our minds, bodies, thoughts, rest and relaxation time embroilled in violence. We go to work anticipating, and wanting the violence, the interior attack, the extrication, what ever the call, we want it. This mentality places a strain on our minds, our hearts, our abilty to find and feel peace, to let our worlds slow down. Our relationships suffer, we're angry and don't know why, we find it harder and harder to forgive, to be civil, to show and have empathy, we loose interest in trying to understand even our fellow crew members, even while being willing to risk our life to protect them, we begin to have disinterest in being nice. Violence, and the strain of public safety is real.
A few years ago a fellow firefighter told me how he had picked up his .45 more than a few times. I get it, see, I lost my big brother to suicide only two years ago.
We all have PTSD- now what are you going to do about it?
Train your probie. Take ownership. Don't make excuses.
Get off the couch- train. Talk. Listen.
Stephen Young amen. Thank you and god bless you!
Inspiring, thank you.
Please take this from a patient, and check out Propranalol. Beta blocker that happens to help w PTSD. Muwah.
Amen, I love this
PTSD is not just for vets, and , please, I mean no disrespect, but when you see the horrible shit we see, it’s an unavoidable result. It’s how you deal with it. I’m constantly searching for inner peace. Some days are good, some not so much, but I know I’m better than I was.
Lost my father, mother and my wife (mother of our two daughters). They all died in 3 years time. Suffering heavy depression but I'm gonna get through. Thanks for your videos man you really save lives.
You’re extremely strong, stronger than you think. I believe you, bro
I hope your doing well
wow that sounds like an indescribably difficult 3 years. I hope you can find some peace.
im praying for you right now
I lost my mother when i was 16 i found her dead on my kitchen floor about 7 months later my terminally ill 5 year old brother passed away a week after i visited him next my uncle was murdered 6 years later my grandma passed away not sure what from but my guess is alcoholism related after my mom uncle and brother passed it destroyed her and she was practically drinking herself to death i had a run with alcoholism too but i quit luckily it really hurts to deal with but all we can do is become stronger brother loss is devastating and only people who experience it can understand it has really ruined me over the years but im still here trying to stay positive and just live and i hope you are too you got this its hard but you can do it
I'm no first responder or any kind of health professional, I'm just 32 years old with autism and ADHD, and I have been in burnout from those two things for more than 10 years. I have suicidal thoughts every single week, and some weeks it's literally every night, and it has been this way for most of that time. It never fails to move me to see other people talking about their experience and urging other people not to take their lives. But it especially helps coming from someone that many many people look up to, because those are the people we really need to hear it from. Thank you, Jason.
Sometimes when we are in the darkness we feel as if we've been buried,
When in reality we've been planted.
I feel you every bit brother. I was wildland type 1 for 14 years. Over that time I have had similar thoughts. The worst was when my late wife died in the line of duty on a fire in northern Idaho. We were working in allot of old trees that jad seen allot of fires over the years. A tree had been burned out before that amd was weak from seasoning. My wife looked up in time to see the tree begining to fall. She pushed the two guys under it out of the way and it landed on her. The night we spread her ashes over the tetons like she wanted my best friends came to our apartment to check on me. They found me severely intoxicated cleaning my guns. All they seen was the guns in my hands and me fumbling with them. All i could think was I could follow her right now. I womt have to feel this any more. I wont have to miss her. They stopped me from making that final choice and took me to our station house. My sup told me I had to stay there until further notice and someone was told to watch me at all times. I didnt go to a therapist until 10 years later which was a mistake. I should have addressed it when it happened. It caused me allot of pain for a very long time. It still causes me pain today and every july 17th I ask one of my friends to just hang out with me and make sure I dont do anything stupid. I cant afford to see a doctor. But over the years i have learned when to stop and take time to reflect and slow my mind. I still have really rough moments in relation to events like that where i jave lost friends or patients. Mostly during fire season. I now drive truck but my boss lets me take time off if i need it. Sometimes he makes me take time off if I'm seeming more irritated or frustrated than normal. I am a very anti social person already which doesnt help. But life could be worse. I know that allot of us in the industry be they active, retired or disabled have moments every day when we don't want to try any longer. Some are worse than others. I don't have anyone that i would leave behind per say but i know the friends i have would not like knowing that i ended life through suicide. They know I would be happy to die saving someones life in some way. But to die by my own hand helping no one is not something that i want. So I wake up every morning and give myself 10 reasons to live. They are different every day aside from one. And that one is simple, Those who I love who have left would want me to live as long as i could and do what i can to help others while I am here. I cant work fires any longer I got hurt pretty bad over the years but I can still be there for people I seen who have ended up in a bad situation. Be it a car crash or being attacked by some crazy person or just being there to help others see that life is not that bad. I will always lend and ear for my brothers and sisters in the fire community. It can help us both to simply talk about things however small that set off our PTSD. So I am with you brother 100%. Stay strong and keeping going. You are not alone. We stand together or we fall together.
Honor, Service, Sacrafice, Tradition.
Bless that sup of yours for getting it right.
Keep hanging in there; some days are teeth and toenails, but time does help wear away the edges of the pain.
*offers you a virtual hug, a warm/cool drink and good company*. My friend, your wife's light of service and honour lives on in you. You are not alone. Stay strong. You are loved. Your name, and your wife's name, will never be forgotten as long as they are spoken. Thank you for your service. I will pour out a drink of wine for your wife on the 17 of July for you, and make sure that you are ok. Remember that you are never alone. The suicide prevention lifeline's number has changed. It is now 988.
Thank you for your service to your community, and I'm glad you're still here. Thank you for sharing such beautiful words.
I lived in Idaho for a little bit, which makes this a little more real.
I am sorry for your pain. I lost my husband. The pain isn’t as jagged now as it was at first. Sometimes the good you do for another person isn’t seen or noticed. The book “The five people you meet in heaven” by Mitch Albom is a short easy read about such things. Our lives bumping off of each others and leaving good impressions and good feelings for other people struggling. Take care of yourself. Be easy.
I use your hilarious videos to bring humor to dark topics in my EMT classes. It makes the material memorable and relatable....but this video...I'll show this one in the hopes that when they are at their lowest, they'll remember me, their class, and you. They'll seek help rather than a very final end.
I witnessed a suicide by cop during my second clinical ride along and it fucked me up. I never thought that I would be on scene of something so traumatizing but the world is changing and every single one of your students should have the understanding that their life can change in an instant. A lot of my crap didn't start eating away at me until months later. It's crazy how we go from civilian to a warzone in a matter of minutes then back to civilian. Students always say they want trauma calls but careful what you wish for is the moral of my story.
As a former instructor of most things Health and Safety I applaud your decisions to add Jason's humorous videos, but a standing ovation to add this video, not only so your students see there are resources available, but that the person next to them who seems "tough" on the outside may be truly struggling on the inside... And letting them know you are willing to listen or sharing (not trading War Stories, but) that you're struggling may help both of you to open up and seek the assistance you each need- in WHATEVER healthy form that comes in!!!
Jason, thank you for all of your videos!!! The make me laugh whenever I need to! This one touched me more than I can say!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SHARING!!!
Jason, thank you for all of your videos!!! The make me laugh whenever I need to... but THIS ONE touched me SO much!!!
MY father died of suicide when I was 6, and I was left in the dark about it until age 13 (when I remembered an argument at the cemetery with a cousin 7 yrs prior) and asked met stepdad "if my dad shot himself". He turned the car around and said that it would be better answered by my mom. She said "a neighbor told me my dad died of cancer, which made me hate his cigarette company and she decided to let me believe it." I don't know what would have been better for me... Knowing all along or having some years blaming smoking and being mad at my mother, aunt, stepdad, etc for continuing to smoke (3+packs a day) and being terrified I'd lose them as well!
Turns out, my dad's dad and the father's going back MANY generations, except for ONE, had all committed suicide due to them all suffering from depression and/or mental illness of some form or another. Had they felt they had someone to reach out to before it was too late, maybe it would have stopped the cycle. At least I can be proud of it stopping with me!!! And please, be as open and honest with your kids so they KNOW you are there NO MATTER WHAT or how HARD LIFE gets for them!!! AND it is OK AND HEALTHY to let kids know that parents get sad sometimes too and asking for help is a BRAVEST thing of all!!!
Those horrors & demons first responders experience, see, and treat live on in our minds need a way to be put to rest. Therapy isn't "nonsense" nor is "talking to your crew" always "good enough"... Someone asking you for help should be treated as an honor that they trust you, and telling them you understand but they may need help that you aren't equipped for, but CAN give numbers/resources to is NOT a fail, it shows you DO care enough to hear them & get them to where they may need to be. This isn't the time to be trading "War Stories", but one for empathy and yes, maybe admitting you struggle as well and some ideas you found successful. (Not becoming a Vegan or your HIIT classes, but true mental health resources). Suicide is NOT just a "teenage problem", it is an "any age" health struggle.
And if all you can do is be kind and offer an ear & maybe a cup of (Firehouse) coffee; or smile at someone while making eye contact while passing in the store aisle or on the sidewalk- well that alone can make a person's day far more than you could even know!
Thank you for putting this out, I’m a second generation fire fighter who times so my father struggle when I was about 12 years old I came home from school to find my dad, a single parent, on the couch with his revolver on the armrest and him in tears I sat down on the couch next to him for what felt like hours neither of us speaking a word, as a young boy I never understood why. Then I grew up became a firefighter a started to see the horrible things that he had to see and I put myself in his shoes, but with 2 young children at home I know that suicide is never the option. Thanks again your brother L2546
I'm very sorry, but one quick question. What does the "L" stand for and then what do the 4 numbers after that mean?
@@lukepotosky7710 I think that the "L" is for Leutenant and the numbers are is his badge numbers.
:)❤
You are one of my favorite channels.
My mother was an NICU nurse and ny father was a NYC cop. They obviously dealt with a lot of stress and trauma- the way it came out was "I'll give you something to cry about." Fun times.
One of my best childhood friends was a NYC EMT. He ate his gun in 2017. I'll never forgive myself for not listening to him more.
That said- Some of us have chronic pain, illness, or mental issues that are simply insurmountable. Please don't shame us for wanting bodily autonomy. I will be exiting this crumbling meatsuit of my own accord, before I become a yellow mess of rotting flesh, and fuck you if you want to take that from me.
Nothing but love and respect to first responders, but you don't dictate my end of life care.
Very much agree. People never know what it is to have nothing worth living for until they’re actually there.
Thank you for this video. I had an uncle who committed suicide and he left behind his wife, siblings, daughter, son-in law, son, daughter-in law, grandchildren, nieces, nephews and so many other friends and family members and I wish to this day he would have just asked for help instead of going through with it. I am glad you got help and are here to let others know there is hope and that they just need to seek help.
Thank you brother....your testimony, has already helped to stop, a trainee from the fire academy here, from taking his own life, after he was informed, that he was going to be medically dropped from the academy. The trainee in question, failed all three eye exams, and was told that because of the sensitive nature of his eye condition, he had no choice, but to accept a medical drop from the academy at this point in time, until his condition treated and or corrected, and if it is possible to be fixed, then he could re-apply back to the academy. This made the trainee extremely despondent, and was actively talking, about harming himself greatly, and wanting to take his life.
The Academy instructors and cadre, played your video for him to watch. The trainee was simply overwhelmed by circumstances he was unable to control going on in his life, and because of your video, realized he needed to seek and accept help, before things take a turn for the worst. That fire academy trainee....was my cousin, so thank you for puting yourself out there, like that, for others to learn from.
Tell your cousin that life throws some nasty pitches! Things change, and while you may not be able to do what you really really want to, you just might fall into something you love that you never dreamed of.
I'm glad you stuck around, Jason. The world is better with you in it. 💜
TW:
I got through it. I’m 17 with a host of psychiatric disorders as well as some nervous system bs. I have been extremely messed up my entire life, and I have been admitted to 13 (mental) hospitals on separate occasions and have been sent to the ER for a low key not fun attempt and two times when I almost ☠️ bc of starving. (Fun lol)
I say all this because, even though my life hasn’t been a vibe, I have been SH free for a year and a half and my life is relatively stable. My support system and doctors have really helped me get through this. I didn’t think I’d make it past 14, but here I am, about to graduate with a 3.9 GPA. The road is long and hard and sometimes you really don’t feel like trying. But you will try bc you’re stronger than you think and life is so much better after. You will really appreciate everything after you have suffered so.
Love❤
You’re putting a trigger warning on a comment on a video about suicide? Read the fucking room.
hey dude, been 8 months since you posted this. you doing good?
Do you really dislike macaroni?
Hey, random stranger on the internet here! In case no one has told you today: I am SOOO proud of you!!🥰
U still alive right? Just checking
I have been there but I had help and I am doing well and here I am at 73 years young .You are awesome for going there and telling others !
Brother, this video may be 4 years old. But thank you so much for this not only for brave first responders like yourself but for 18 year old kids like me. I've had people i knew from school go out like this and even tho i wasn't close with them it still shook me to my core. I've always had issues with depression and anxiety and this really showed me i wasn't alone.
Jason, Im a 40+ yr veteran medic. Two years ago, I was forced to retire due to heart issues. They tell you about depression, but nothing they can say prepares you. I reached the brink about 6 months after the surgery and almost stepped off. Like you, I made the smart choice, though at the time, it didnt feel like it. 6 months later, the mother of my children did step off after years of battling chronic depression, a 30 yr veteran nurse, though we were divorced, it hit hard but I also got to see the impact on my adult children, which only reaffirmed that I jad not erred. It was devastating. It took a lot of courage for you to shoot this video. Thank you for stepping up for all of us.
As a fellow firefighter...its something I've been going through allot....mainly right now..but this just opened my eye's...thank you for sharing...
A permanent solution, is not the answer to temporary problem! Hang in there brother!!
The first responder world loves you brother. We all have pain and dark days but your profession is one of love and caring for others. Allow others to care and love you by helping. Stay strong
Thank y'all so so much it does mean allot.
I feel for you Jimmy. I went through some shit couple years ago that changed my life. It's important to be open about your bad situations because holding them inside makes everything worse. As men we are taught to hold back our emotions but its far healthier to be open with people. It took a lot of strength to tell my parents I have PTSD. Mental wounds heal but they always leave behind a scar.
Reach out, others are out here, I know.
I'm talking and telling everyone my story ( doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists ) for almost 1 and a half years, but no one listens. But I don't wanna go the short way. That's why I'm fighting. I don't wanna go the short way. Thank you Jason for these words. God bless you
How is the fight going? It's like a a cancer I have struggled with my entire life it will never go away until I stop it
❤❤❤
Pls keep fighting.
@@markodenbrett4363it can go away. Don’t listen to the enemy voices. Don’t let them win. Bless
You can have bad luck with a series of shitty people who just don't care, but eventually someone will❤ Never give up,everyone has something or someone to live for,just gotta find it
"Suicide is a permanent solution for temporary problems." - Robin Williams
This quote did NOT age well
I am in severe depression but i swear my depression is my lost job but i tried very much but i lost my job in dubai and now i can't go back to dubai because going back to dubai needs money i need only 3 thousands dollars i swear it will rest my life and change my life if someone help me i swear i will return him in one year because i have families issues i was the only one who take care but now i am in depression and anxiety 😰😰😰😰😰😰😰😰by the sake of god i am real and i will prove you my condition and dubai job details 😭
I've only witnessed two deaths, and it's messed me up, so has dementia in my family, I've found myself teetering on the brink. I can't begin to imagine what first responders see every day. There's no shame in talking about it, no matter how tough you are, or what you've been through. Kudos for speaking out.
Takes balls to share like that Brother. Thank you. I too just recently have been having a real tough time all of a sudden some old shit resurfaced and wont go away.. Ill get through it tho. Thanks for sharing.
Mental wounds heal but they always leave behind a scar. My situations didn't start eating me up until I stepped away. Sometimes I still randomly break down but nobody said guys aren't allowed to cry. It's important to have someone that you feel comfortable talking to. Can't just let that kind of shit fester.
Hope you're doing well--not still wrestling with that old shit...but if you are, keep working at it. Eventually it will be beaten into a thin paste you can mentally pour right out and have it either gone or in much better storage.
Thanks for this Jason. Took my first step today and admitted my depression and PTSD. Getting help from my Doc and my family. What you say about those thoughts......I had them too.
Congratulations on having the strength to seek for help!!! I absolutely hope you are currently doing well, and will continue to do so.
Well done! I swear that's almost the hardest part. Remember that if your counselor doesn't 'fit' you, there are a lot out there to choose from; when you find a good fit, you'll know.
you're a brave man, stay safe.
Love you brother... just know you're not alone
Came across this again and still feel just as compelled to comment. This took supreme bravery and a true desire to help your field siblings. You surely have great character and I strive to be worthy of the same level of respect and regard you must get from your colleagues. The value of what your doing, aside from the field, cannot be overstated. Bravo once again. Your a hero to your patients and your colleagues. I hope you feel the love everybody has for your you bro!!
Thank you so much brother
(I’m crying as I write this, so apologies in advance for any typos. )
Just seeing this now, 4 years on, but I wanted to say thank you for your vulnerability in opening up about this and sharing your story.
I’m saddened you’ve been through this, but I’m also so glad you got help and are doing better now.
I work in a different branch of the medical field, and I’ve been dealing with Passive SI for about.. 4 months now?
Not the first time I’ve thought about it, but definitely the longest.
I even have a sibling who attempted suicide a few years ago, but even knowing what it’s like to love someone who tried to end it, it still isn’t enough to make the feelings go away like you said.
In addition to some pretty bad anxiety and depression I’ve had for years, I recently discovered I have Complex PTSD, stemming from over a decade of emotional/psychological/verbal etc abuse I experienced from multiple family member growing up.
And if that weren’t enough, what made me start coming to terms with my past/cptsd, was being in a similarly abusive living situation, with someone who’s a highly respected and loved member of the community, with much more experience and seniority than me.
I live on my own now, but it still feels impossible to escape the feelings of constant terror/helplessness/misery etc I felt around my ex roommate, even when I don’t have to see them in person (which I unfortunately still do).
I’m trying to open up to more people, but it’s so hard when I’m terrified I wont be believed, especially by people who only know my ex roommates public persona, which is most people I know (personally and professionally).
I was gaslit/victim blamed etc a lot as a kid the few times I tried to complain about the way I was being treated, and I don’t think I can survive going thru that again.
It also doesn’t help that mental healthcare is so inaccessible where I am
(I recently told my GP that my new/increased doses of antidepressants weren’t working and I wanted a referral to a psychiatrist to address my ongoing Passive SI. His response was literally just Why?)
Anyways, sorry for venting on the internet, but I’d like to think I can make it thru this, and I hope everyone else can too
First off thank you for your service in the medical field and thank you for sharing this, thank you and remember you are loved and appreciated.
I'm not anyone special. I'm just someone who had a fxcked up childhood and I find myself suffering with suicidal ideation, wishing that I would be in a tragic accident or that I would die a slow, painful death. Videos like this helped me get through it, and helped me learn more about myself and how I am not alone in the world, and that people care about me. This mean a lot to a lot of people Jason. Thank you.
Watching this after my EMT friend showed me your channel (March 2023) and love your channel. I'm a combat vet (Infantry, Warrior First Responder/Combat Lifesaver). I have severe depression and ptsd and I struggle every day with wanting to stop the burden I place on everyone I know because of the differences. I'm hopeful, and I try. The struggle has been endless. I've been out of the service for 15 years. To be able to recover and help people again... I hope... maybe someday.
It can get better. Get help to talk it through. My grand dad was in WW1. He only cried every remembrance day, great heaving sobs. As well as doing veterans Mar he's to cenetaph. I was a RN, ER for years, finally got my PhD 8n psychology, and in honor of Grandpa and so many vets I had cared for over my career, I went to work for the Canadian Forces on base as a Psychologist, therapist. I saw many many soldiers returning from Afghanistan, and listened to their horrific experiences. They came back and back because I let them tell details they needed to tell, and I delayed all paperwork diagnosing PTSD if they requested it. It was hard, but I was honored to help. Best wishes to you.
As a fellow firefighter and EMR, thank you. I suffer from depression and have from a young age. I don't talk about it. I've only recently started opening up about it. Thank you brother. I for one am happy you didn't go through with it and got help.
As an OIF veteran and a FF/EMT thank you for sharing brother. I have been to two funerals in my life for fellow veterans who have taken there own lives. It is the two worst days I have ever had in my life. The look on their mother's faces as they saw us have haunted me ever since. I know that they did not blame us personally but I have never lost the feeling of blame to myself and others around me to do better. To everyone out there find someone on your crew, shift, department, professional, random person, who ever until someone will sit and listen to you. We are not afraid to call in extra crews to battle a fire don't ever be afraid to call in extra help when you are somewhere you can't get out of. The Mayday is there for a reason on the ground and off call it early and often but don't make your brothers and sisters have to bury you because it got to be too much.
I'm glad you talked about this. I have had depression and been sick since I was seven or eight years old. And I usually don't want to think that way it's just a habit but sometimes I'm just so tired. I'm so, so, SO unbelievably sorry you have to go through this, too. It'll hurt but we'll all make it, togehter
I’ve been dealing with depression for as long as I can remember but digging through personal records and such, it started to get bad (sh, suicidal thoughts) around 14 years old. I’m 21 now and will be 22 in June. It hasn’t been easy but it’s been a few months now since I last hurt myself or thought about just ending it all, it hasn’t been easy but I’ve managed so far. People like Jason make me feel heard and remind me that I am in fact not alone. Thank you dude, you’re helping people just be making us laugh and giving advice through your videos so spreading awareness like this is a further step up.
These days every time I feel like giving up I have to consciously remind myself to “just stick around and see where life takes you” because the only thing that never changes is change.
I'm a paramedic, I've seen multiple suicide case. I still remember till this day of a young boy whom I attended to and I disregard as a minor problem then 4hrs later having him sitting on the ledge at a different location and jumped right infront of me. His parents was shocked when received news about him.
A smile can really fool you, they will probably act cheerful but once you know it, they're gone. If they brought up a problem/topic, talk about it. If you don't wish to talk to someone, then imagine the people who you will left behind. Will they truly be happy? Stop thinking that you're a burden and none will shed a tear for you if you're gone. You won't know because you're dead. They will be crying for many nights, affecting their health, losing appetite and having negative thoughts about themselves thinking they're a failure for letting that happen to you. Your death will affect someone to do the same way and there's no way to fix it. Always think about your family and friends as well. Seek help if you need one.
If you have kids, no matter how young or old, it's going to mess them up.
Thank you Jason, for being so open and personal. I too have dealt with depression and thoughts of suicide. But can never give up and keep on fighting. And like you said your not alone.
I know this was 4 years ago but thank you Jason. You are a blessing to this world.
Hey been watching you awhile and this just popped up. I appreciate what you do I am a disabled fireman. I got burnt up and some nasty chemicals the place didn’t have the MSDS for. Ptsd is a rough thing but always keep fighting people. I can clearly see people I couldn’t save and dream about it. I yell in my sleep. It happens but my wife is so supportive and helpful. Faith is most important. You may never get over things but you can continue to constantly fight for another day! Sincerely a dude on oxygen in a wheelchair at 29….
My brother took his life when I was just a kid and those thoughts about following him has always stayed with me.
Thanks for talking about it and for being strong enough to stay.
We need more people like you
I have struggled with depressive episodes as a result of BiPolar disorder since I was 15, and between 15 and 26 years old I had 4 episodes that turned suicidal and 2 attempts. I’m lucky to be here today and thankfully I am doing pretty well all things considered. My older brother gave me some advice that has really stuck with me and I will share it for anyone else struggling.
Don’t apply a permanent solution to a temporary problem…
Jason, can I just come over and give you a big hug? I really felt that story you told and I really hurt when you told the story of the dad who did commit suicide. I’ve seen the aftermath, and I know how it hurts. I respect you for telling that story and I sincerely hope that it gets better for you, and that it will stay better. Being a first responder is not easy, but you have impacted so many lives as one, and even just with this TH-cam channel you have impacted people. Thank you.
Jason very real man. I watch this when I have a bad day
.you pull myself and others back
We’re all glad you’re still here Jason we all appreciate everything you do for your community and us as well you helped me out a lot with this video ❤
This is the first time I’ve seen this. You are exactly right! Keep up the good work! I was a dispatcher and then a cop and have dealt with suicides. They are so sad. I have friends who have dealt with family who have gone that route. It’s a terrible deal, but there is help out there!
That’ was bad ass right there I would never have had the courage to share that publicly.
That was well spoken, honest, and personal and I’m sure made a difference in many lives.
I grew up learning to bury your feelings and so I did so even after these 19 years in EMS and it really stopped me from enjoying this wonderful life I was given. Thanks for the share
Thank you for being so vulnerable with us, Jason. Love to all those struggling with suicidal feelings - major depression is awful to go through
Mr. Patton. I am a mother of a firefighter ( lives and breathes it) and a HUGE FAN of your videos. I often will watch your videos.then I’ll send them to my son and ask do you act like this( the one with the Etta James song. also with 😂)? 9 out of 10, His response is yes. However, I saw this video ( broke my heart) and I wanted you know that I’m so THANKFUL that you were BRAVE enough to get the help that you needed. Your life purpose is certainly being fulfilled through your job and these HILARIOUS videos. Keep’em coming... firemom Rebecca
You are a good man. A true hero like all the other first responders. My father was an EMT for an ambulance company in the 1990s.
Not even in EMS/LE/Mil, but yeah the desire not to be a mess for someone to clean up and a statistic in an annual log is a powerful motivator. Thanks for including that and for making this video. Thanks for being this vulnerable.
Thank you for this brother. I've got 15 years on the job and your story is a mirror image of mine a few years ago. Since then I've done my damnedest to teach the younger generations to talk about this like we never did and I know how influential your videos are to many of us around the country. Keep it up and never give up the fight. We've never met but we're all in this together.
Much love from Texas L846
this is the most important and sobering video you've made. my 19 year old brother David shot and killed himself 5pm October 13th 2017 with my gun while I begged him not to. he'd gotten a DUI and felt hopeless. I've been a volunteer firefighter since early 2017 and we've had an alarming number of suicides the past 3 years -especially near Christmas. my first experience was 8am February 12th 2012 when I found a man (father of 5) hanging one mile from my parents home. people have no idea how much it fucks everyone that knew/loved them. it's almost never the right solution and calling it cowardly is absolutely irrelevant. when you reach absolute rock bottom the only thought is the sweet release of death. fight through the temptation because it'll hurt everyone around you far more than you can imagine.
@Lizzie Allen he left 13 audio recordings on his cell phone because he had watched "13 Reasons" the night before hoping it would convince him to not go through with it. Listening to all of them was absolutely brutal. He never blamed us but explained a lot of personal stuff that built up to his death.... ive never seen a suicide where a note wasn't left but it does happen occasionally
Much love from a fellow Paramedic from NYC.... it is a big issue... we just need to realize it first. The mental burnout n stress from pts n from the job along with personal life can compound it greatly.
Thanks for the message. Best of luck. Now go n eat a Jalapeno or Ghost pepper Chocolate.... lol
Back at you from a former TX volunteer, we're family.
2 years ago my friend lost his battle with depression. Thank you for posting this to spread awareness.
My entire life has been trauma after trauma after trauma and now I’m mentally disabled and homeless. I needed this. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for reaching out to our community and sharing your story. I've struggled with depression my entire life and I've gone through some horrible periods- I always kept it to myself and I never got any better. I finally reached out and while I'm not perfect, I'm a lot better. My life has improved and this experience has motivated me to advocate mental wellness and peer support for my agency and the people around me. Talking about depression, mental wellness, and suicide is the only way to break the stigma and help our Brothers and Sisters. Be Well, Brother.
Ive been in EMS 15 years, 6 B 9A. the one call we had a 8 yr old in arrest from a prolonged seizure and didnt get them back. Its the only time I did mouth to mouth without a barrier mask. End of shift i went home and drank. The mext morning I broke down and cired my eyes out for like two days. I called off my shift and the sup was all "really? youre calling in?" The term jackass may have been used on my end. Point is, we deal with this crap and were fine and fine and fine then. itll be this one call or situation and everything hits at once. My best advice and i tell my trainees- get a counselor now and see em every month or two so theyre there when you need them. If anyone gives you shit, theyre the ones to watch closer. No shame in having support.
I appreciate you and doing this. Since I was forced to retire from career ending injury I have struggled and still do everyday. I stay in the fight from seeing the pain of those left behind from FF suicide. Just so you know, your videos make me laugh and this one made me cry and I am a veteran and permanently disabled firefighter. As a former Marine I know what you have done takes pure courage and strength. It is easy to bury things and not deal with them. Thank you for this video and all you do!!!
Jason... I never knew you went through it... I have seen your TH-cam shorts it never occurred to me... I am a teen who was taught the way to help people stay on earth.... I have saved countless but lost 5..... I struggle with it too.... I just wonder if I did better would they still be with me... I wanna thank you for this. You're an amazing person and I hope one day to be a first responder. Thank you for this
Healthcare professional here. I know exactly what you mean. Glad to see you're still here, bud. Keep fighting the good fight and never give up. We give each other strength.
I see this was originally posted 4 years ago; I'm sure that it's still helping people.❤ Don't underestimate the power of a strong, successful, confident person such as yourself (on the outside) confessing they were affected by thoughts and feelings people have every day. You are a true hero.❤
Thank you for being so open and vulnerable. You're one of those people, where mental health issues aren't obvious. You always seem so happy and confident. Thank you for showing that what we see does not always mirror what goes on inside somebody.
I am married to a first responder and appreciate this message more than you will ever know. ❤️
Man you are a blessing, To anyone who might need it- you are worth the time it will take to heal, to get better. It’ll be hard yes, it’ll be painful yes, but You are Worth it, you are worthy of the love it takes to get better.
I think youre alive to help the rest of us.
Thank you for speaking of your own struggles with suicidal thoughts.
My son is far away from where i live, which is Florida.
I had to move from Indiana to here for safety because I left my abusive husband and he stalked me every day.
I lived in a small town, so it was hard to hide from him.
So here I am living with bipolar, ptsd and anxiety that gives me really bad panic attacks.
My son and I are now estranged due to not having the same opinion and beliefs.
Also, my almost 77 year old Mother was diagnosed with uterine cancer.
She had a hysterectomy on March first and it had spread to a lumph node, which is bad news.
I've been thinking about suicide again for several weeks.
Thank you so much for talking about your experiences with thoughts of suicide and depression.
It's 5:00 a.m, and again I woke up wide awake.
My son wont even speak to me.
Hes my only child, but he's grown.
I just became a grandma too.
Ive attempted suicide before several times and came very close to dying.
I just want the pain to go away.
Thank you for your touching story and experiences.
I came in the living room, turn the TV to TH-cam, and there you are.
I really needed to hear what you said.
Thank you so much.
I actually see a pinpoint of light at the end of my very dark tunnel.
God bless!❤
Thank you for the strength and courage that I'm sure it took to post this video. I'm sure that there are people out there who stopped themselves from suicide by seeing this video. So many of us have had this like these. It's good to know that there are others who've been there and made it through
I have watched your videos and they always bring a smile to my face. This year (2020) has been an extremely tough year for me, not just with COVID, but with life in general. I am in a broken marriage, and after 26.5 years in the petrochemical industry, I retired due to seeing 15 of my close friends die in an industrial accident and the increasing stresses of the job. I was an EMT-I and moved to the private sector which was great for a while, but after 20 years as a medic, the stress here is getting overwhelming. I have often told people that suicide only transfers your pain to someone else, because they have to live with missing all of the signs and not being there for you in a more meaningful way. This is the one thought that keeps me from suicide, even though I wake up everyday and say to myself how much I hate my life, how much I hate my stress, and how I don't really have anyone that I can reach out to discuss this on a meaningful level. I am trying to get into a family counselor first as an individual, then maybe moving into family counseling. The tears are streaming down my face right now and I feel I have been helped by your video.
Very brave of you to share this Jason. May God always watch over and guide you and your fellow brothers.
Thank you for making this video. If it saves just one life, it's worth it.
Finding this video was needed today more than you will ever know.
Keep your chin up you've got this fam
I had depression and light drug use before choosing to become an EMT. No longer working because I decided I needed a break for my own mental health. Went back to smoking pot and then had a health scare that sent me into an anxiety attack. It's important to deal with stress in a healthy way or else you risk losing yourself as a person.
I still have a major passion for EMS and I hope I can take my experiences and grow from them. I can't tell you how much it sucks obtaining your goal but then you get PTSD because of it. The toughest thing was breaking down in front of my parents and telling them how I was feeling but sometimes you just have to open the flood gates. Crying doesn't make a person any weaker. Hopefully I can take my experiences and help other people in similar shoes.
Some days wind up 'teeth and toenails' to hang in there, but once it's better, it's hard to believe it ever happened. Believe it. Talk about it. Help at least one person a day, smile. (Seriously. Makes a huge difference in your own outlook!)
Love you man, your videos are the best. Im a retired firefighter/paramedic and am currently in nursing School. My sister committed suicide this year and my fiance dumped me right before my lvn finals. My depression is pretty bad. Ive had aone daek thoughts. If it wasnt for my daughter and grandson and a really solid network of friends i would be there. The best line ive heard about is that suicide doesn't end the pain, it just transfers it to others. The thoughts and fantasies have cerpt in but its this thought that keeps me going . The love of my family abd friends. They deserve more from me. So i keep going and push through the pain. Ypur videos have been a source of joy and laughter to me in some dark times. Ive shared them with my fellow firefighters and nursing students. Keep them comming.after my career ive seen some horrible things, i have nightmares and bad memories. A lot of good ones too. I console myself by knowing in everyone of those i did all I was able to help and comfort them. There's quite a few that i see in my memories.
Great post....might want to add a counselor in there somewhere, just in case. There are some times when you wind up editing to 'save' friends and family from the way you feel, and that's when an uninvolved ear is really helpful.
Good luck, and you're going to rock as a nurse!
I am just a regular citizen and I have been diagnosed with clinical depression, anxiety, and ptsd. There was a time in my life the anger was so deep and dark inside me I wanted to die. I could never be a first responder. The most I could do is handle calls for kittens stuck in a tree. I take meds and laugh (I'm the funniest person I know) watching your channel, Officer Smith's channel, and a couple others, because y'all make me really laugh out loud. Keep up the excellent work, and I thank each and every one of you on here for fighting through it and carrying on keeping people like me, safe! 💝💝💝💝💝
Thank you, brother. I'm a retired 20 year career firefighter/medic, and I've been there. Having brothers share it with our brothers and sisters is the only way I see us getting a handle on this. I know it's tough, but you have made a difference by sharing your struggle. Yeah, I'm late to the game (is this video really 4 years old?), but thank you.
I don't know what stroke of luck this four year old video managed to surface in a lowpoint of my day today when I had those thoughts. Not a first responder or anything, just a normal guy.
I got hit with serious bit of nostalgic depression, missing friends I used to talk too and old chats we've had ages ago. We've all fallen out of touch and it just hit me like bricks when I realized I missed them all. Some I have no way of reaching out to anymore.
So this morning I just had that thought of "If I just did this.. would my brain cope by making me live old memories or childhood fantasies just to have a makeup 'happy ending' " Just to make myself feel better about it all.
Then I opened the recommended feed on mobile and it was the third video that was right there. Caught my attention almost instantly.
I just want to say, thank you. ❤
Just came across this. So true. I think you don't have to be a first responder to have PTSD - some kids get it just trying to grow up. I know I did. I've fought with depression and thoughts of suicide most of my life. The one thing that saved me was knowing the terrible effect it has on those left behind. My mother had lost a dearly beloved uncle - and never really got over it. If there is anyone or anything you care about think about them. If dogs and even cats have grieved for years for lost owners think of what it can do to another person or/especially a child in your life.
Some of us have people in our lives we’d be happy to hurt through us dying, they’re just that fucking selfish.
My little girl is the reason I don't. She has pulled me through so much and doesn't even realize it at 3 years of age.
Im a 14 year career firefighter from NC. We had an fellow firefighter that was an amazing person who was going through something similar as your family friend. He unfortunately took his own life. People who aren’t firefighters do not realize how brave you are to admit that you struggle with depression, especially being in our career where we don’t like to show emotion. Stay strong Brother and just know you matter and have worth. Keep bringing us your videos. You are a legend in my department.
Thank you for not killing yourself and bringing me joy, laughter, and now sadness through your videos.
You are not only a great entertainer but you are also a great educator.
Thank you again for all you do!
Thank you for making this video…..
Being someone that many of us look up to and admire, you being so frank about mental health issues really hits home and has an impact.