All the info there ever is to know about the mystical world of T4T (probably idk) Links, socials & more::: linktr.ee/icky Big thank u to Krimpin for the edit!! - / @bigkrimpin
I had my first t4t date last weekend and it was amazing. She's my Valentine tomorrow (✿^‿^) UPDATE: First, thanks for all the love!!! Second, best Valentine's Day ever - we even got each other the same Lego set coincidentally ( ꈍᴗꈍ)
Since dating a genderfluid person, I've found myself being much more comfortable and confident with my partner than with past relationships. It helps a ton to be with someone that can understand the same struggles.
I definitely get this, but doesn't this technically make you a chaser? As you're specifically looking to date a trans person because they are trans. Or do we reserve the chaser label to CIS people only?
@@dumbodum Wanting someone who can share and relate to the same experiences as you isn't anywhere near close to fetishizing someone for being trans lol.
@@dumbodum as icky stated it’s about reasoning and context. I didn’t date them because they’re genderfluid. I date them because they’re cute and we have a bunch in common. But it is a benefit I’ve noticed over dating cis people
@@dumbodum bruh, you just removed all nuance and intention from this situation. Like, nothing in the og comment sounded like they were a chaser whatsoever. It's quite obvious they're very happy with how comfortable, confident, and attracted to another they are. If you read their comment and "chaser" came to your mind, then you are the problem here.
I recently got into a Transbian relationship and we couldn't be happier, the weight of the world seems to melt when you have a partner who understands your struggles and pains almost all too well.
As a transwoman (only cracked my shell a few months ago and still look very masc...) who got Tinder, I realised that pretty much 99% of my matches are t4t. It feels like an echo-chamber and a cage, sort of. I do have met a lovely transgirl who I am currently dating though, and I feel very save and comfortable around her, and so does she around me :3 She even said that with me, she feels kinda ok about down there, something she otherwise doesn't at all (I of course won't force anything upon her regarding that, I hope I can help her finding her way through that issue and be there for her however it will go) On the other hand, I feel kinda less womanly for she is out way longer and is way more confident and experienced in the feminine ways.. But I bet she'll help my learn a lot c: Sorry for this long comment im just such s happy bean and wanted to share, have a great tiiime
You know, there's nothing girlier than comparing how girly you are to other girls. Literally all of my cis friends that are girls have felt this way at least once, trust me
i have been in a t4t relationship, fwb thingy for a while and its kinda crazy how easy it is. i feel like cis relationships have this game of thrones posturing and rules and stuff but in t4t it feels like you can just have fun together cause there are no rules
I'm a cis straight dude and I've been binge watching your and F1NN's videos and, the tomato is a fruit thing was really funny XD. Anyway I was gonna say, I really appreciate how you talk about cisgender people. You don't put all of us in the same boat. It's not like we're running low on cis-accepting spaces, but I feel "included" here too (or whatever the right word would be)
I came out as trans 3 years ago, I’m also autistic. Never intended to specifically date T4T or other autistic people but since finding my communities I honestly couldn’t imagine feeling comfortable in a relationship with someone who didn’t share at least one of those things with me
My partner and I just started dating after we realized after 8 months of being best friends we had feelings for each other! There is something so magical about T4T relationships that nothing else can compare to! We met at a trans support group and hit it off and basically haven't stopped talking since.
So, my girlfriend and I are T4T, and honestly, the sheer comfort in not needing to explain things is remarkable. As a transbian, a lot of my cis het friends are surprised that lesbian spaces aren't always accepting, but amount lesbians, less than thirty percent are willing to date trans people, and of that percent, more are willing to date trans men than trans women. Having a girlfriend that just understands how my feelings about my body can be a massive struggle, who doesn't expect me to always top or "be the man" or (ick) think I'm "the best of both worlds" is a tremendous relief. Honestly, the biggest for me is that, even with accepting cis people, it can feel like they love you *in spite of you being trans* and not because that's a part of you they actually like. My girlfriend just likes my body. She doesn't wish it was a cis woman's body, and the relief and affirmation is intense
My experience has been the lesbian spaces are far less accepting than that. Sure they're accepting on paper, but they're more likely to say or do horrible things and then blame me for being offended.
The idea of lesbians being more willing to date trans men than trans women is so weird to me. As a cis lesbian, I might be hesitant to date a trans woman, but I definitely wouldn't date a trans man.
@@conlon4332 look up Blair & hoskin 2019. That's where I'm getting this data from. And their sample didn't even skew old. The mean age was early twenties. Honestly, I think there's an ugly trend among a lot of cis lesbians to be very genital essentialist and basically see trans men as "butch+" rather than actual men. It's really dehumanising all around
I got called a chaser for putting T4T in my profile. It was pretty awkward, to say the least. The gal I was chatting with was attracted to my more masculine parts while I was specifically trying not to be masculine. She asked what T4T meant and I told her and she said "isn't that what chasers do? Date trans people because they're trans?" I'm glad this is something Icky addressed
Come on, don't do him like that, F1nn is the pinnacle of manliness. He has knives, nerfguns, flexes his biceps and ... and ... has pretty dresses, girly underwear, boots, boobs ....., damn it, at least I TRIED to point out the manliness, but it is so hard.
A lot of the transgirls I've met, being one myself, are pretty damn comfortable with T4T. Then there's plenty, transgirls out there that want to be with a ciswoman or cisman. It's all fascinating because each person is so different. As for myself, I think I'll probably stick with other Ts 4 now.
It's actually really cool that you do these videos without a script. You seem so relaxed and genuine, I get so nervous trying to record myself for like anything 😅
I was with my boyfren 6 months during which time he said to me "Its fine if your trans" before my egg finally exploded. Since he has been on the journey with me he has an understanding so its definitely possible to get great cis guys! Going to trad wife so hard for him tmoz uWu
T4t here, and have never been happier. You don't have to explain anything when it's T4T. Your partner intrinsically understands the pain of dysphoria, and everything else surrounding the transgender medical condition. T4T hurts less than any other kind of relationship, and that's why so many of us end up with transgender partners.
If the Dog snatches something he doesnt suppose to eat (especially Onions) we usually give them a Treat as Trade Item. can get tricky, and dangerouse if the Dog doesnt let go, so better be prepared and have a Plan.
This is alright to do, but dog brains are funny and if you do it too often they can start associating "stealing stuff" with "getting treat" which is how you inculcate new behaviors, right?
I think all of this sounds fair and right. I will add that lots of "Cis" people deal with, not feeling comfortable with their body. This feeling can manifest in many ways, and I wish more people would see these feelings as a way to relate to one another rather than ways divide us.
Thank you for teaching me more about the trans community! I am a cisgender guy and don't have many trans people around so I am not as well informed as I should be. I am still understanding all the different terms but I will get there
Im currently going threw transitioning MTF. I am so thankful that I have a supportive partner and supportive parent. You have actually been really helpful for me with clothing/other trans related stuff :)
It isn't just safety, but other things as well. If I wake up and have a little facial hair z someone Trans will be less out of by it. You don't have to feel like you have to be as perfect and can relax more
Speaking of the intro, I’d love to hear more about fashion from you. I know very little and your outfits and layering have been a big inspiration for me.
Been transitioning for the last 6 years still relationship free, keeping it that way. Everything ends in pain it seems. Whether cis, gender fluid or trans relationships all gone through the same thing each time. Maybe im just that lucky to get emotionally black mailed each time.
Thank you for sharing your insights into the nature of your relationship. In hir book "Transgender Warriors", Leslie Feinberg defines "transgender" as all "people who cross the cultural boundaries of gender", which includes femboys for sure. This definition is a lot broader than the gender-identity-based definition most use these days, but it makes sense when you describe your relationship as T4T!
This is so true, but mainly online (for me). I feel like when other trans people see me in public they instantly go "Ah, Trans Women" which like... _ehhhh_
I think you do a lot of t4t stuff in your videos, but at the same time it's also helpful and insightful in a t4cis way - enjoyed the video, as always 🙏
do love t4t, that instantly having a long list of things you can both relate to is nice. I do think though that like... there is sort of a gap between folks just starting their transition and those than have been going at it for a few years or more. it feels less like a full t4t experience and more like a mentorship and it can feel kinda off in a relationship depending on the person.
Helping Ashley with what is going on emotionally there, you tend to understand and relate to someone on a much deeper level because of a shared experience that effects your life in such a significant way that’s hard to understand if you haven’t experienced it.
Your channel is amazing for me bcs it makes me feel less alone and you are so relatable. There aren’t many trans channels out there but regardless, this one is such good quality and it is so genuine. Keep it up! You are a goos role model and your advice is used.
I absolutely adore your style of videos! I recently started transitioning and every other trans youtuber I watched just had a certain vibe that was difficult for me to follow at times. Not to say they were bad, they helped me understand a lot of things about myself. I don't know if Ashley is neurodivergent and I won't make assumptions but her videos are the type of vibe I like :)
I think it’s an interesting topic. Definitely seen t4t seekers with similar motives and manners to chasers, however I totally get why someone would want that kind of relationship. No stress about coming out or showing yourself, and having someone who's been through your same experience sounds like it would be incredibly reliving in life.
I'm in a t4t queerplatonic relationship (QPR). For the longest time I'd only heard of t4t as being for romantic and sexual relationships so it never really hit me but it helps even if there's not much of a physical aspect to a relationship. I can talk to my QPP about gender stuff and they have some background knowledge about it. It also helps with not bringing cisheteronormative expectations into the QPR. And they don't misgender me or talk about my body in uncomfortable ways. It's really lovely
@@evermore331 because they're in the relegation zone and might go down. They concede too many goals and don't score enough. This is not how you survive a championship season. And I'll now add that this was entirely an English football joke, because where I'm from QPR stands for Queens Park Rangers. 🤣
Always love your videos, the info is so helpful as a newly trans person so thank you for sharing! And always a shout out the the editor that continues to put Earthbound (Mother II) music in the videos :)
Thanks for making your videos my wife and i watch them together and it helps explain some things about trans spaces and my being trans that I cant articulate as well! Also cute doggie! 💙🤍❤
My boyfriend had transitioned for 3 years then detransitioned. He's now nonbinary but primarily masc presenting. So far it's been the most fulfilling relationship I've ever had. There is definitely a lot of comfort in not having to explain and he understands my experience.
So I dated a person (who like is still absolutely one of my favourite humans ever btw) and we broke up and a year later, she came out as trans. So now I, a cis very straight woman, has an ex girlfriend and it’s the funniest shit, ggs to her,
I love how you find the words to explain things like this so that non-trans folks can get some understanding of what a trans person has to face in different parts of their life. It's been an eye-opener for me! And all the while this video is being made while the world's cutest four-legged agent of destruction carries out his work in the background!
Dating a girl as a trans woman can be quite disphoric for a lot of reasons indeed. There's a level of telepathy and mutual understanding, which is magical, but also could trigger some things into said person. My experience is kinda mixed. I'm in the early stages of my transition, so there's still a lot of boymodding and mental barriers in my day to day life. It's the worst when we go out and she's all gorgeous, make up and all, and I'm so basic. I try to get better, but there's just so much to learn and so little time (My job doesn't let me live)...and then she's just beautiful. It gives me the feeling I'll never be like her, if that makes sense...that the universe hates me and only lets her be a woman. I know this will get better, but I've been carrying this damn burden for months already and it's getting really distressful. She's quite supportive, and also trans (gender-fluid, but mostly fem) SO SHE GETS ME. She's doing her part, but the road is rough.
Don't know if you'll ever see this but...... If she supports you, whatever YOU Do.... , Don't run her off !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't be jealous either, BE Proud of how Beautiful she is (your words) Use her beauty as something to strive for !!!!! If she's willing to stick it out with you, the battles half over with !!!! You, most likely will never find another (never say never) that will be everything you need !!!!! Annnnnnnnnd, while I'm lecturing you, How do you know you won't be as pretty as her ????? , You are still Waaaay early into your transition !!! It ALL Takes time , it isn't an overnight thing, She didn't get that way overnite and neither will you !!!! Take it from someone who could be your "Granny ", don't force it, let it come at the pace its meant to Good luck sweetie !!!!!!
@@wilburshuman thank you my friend. Also believe it or not but you answered an hour before i got my first HRT ever kjkj. Like I'm in front of the drugstore and just picked the phone to check something out. Thank you for your kindness and I hope you have an amazing life Be safe and be happy
Totally not what the video was about but i like hearing someone else say that 3years in is still early in transition. Im also 3 years in and i see a lot of trans ppl online doing their transition timelines act like ~3 years is the endpoint and i still feel like a trans baby😭 im also only just starting to get some of the changes recently bc genetics, so it's nice to see other "late bloomers" i guess😅
My immediate assumption about why it exists was for not having to explain shit. I imagine even if people are well meaning and want to be allies etc. you probably hear a lot of the same questions you just don't have to go through answering with other trans people. Also no chasers would probably be a big draw card.
As someone from Ireland when I saw T4 Tinder my mind autocompleted it to TG4 which is an Irish speaking channel. Also didn't know there was a name for it so that's cool to learn.
Hey can you do a video on adhd motivation and life balance since you seem to have it together. Obviously everyone's adhd is different but it would be great if you could share your experience
My first partner since coming out was a cis man but it felt very stressful, I noticed things I found masculine and attractive about him made me increadibly dysohoric when I noticed the same or similar things in the mirror, I have considered asking out a friend of mine who herself is trans but I don't want to mess that friendship up. She gets me really well and I get her but I am one that gets to be weird when I bring things like that up and have to literally force myself to be chill around her lest I chase her off by being weird.
Honestly, just do what feels right (as basic as it sounds). But personally I don't think it's a great idea to get into a relationship with anyone just out of the convince of it. You don't need to date someone to have them support, love and appreciate you as a person. Now, I don't know what you actually feel towards your friend but as someone who can somewhat relate to the described situation I have a question: why do you feel the need to be in a specifically romantic relationship with anyone? Because I often meet people who just want to be in a relationship with someone, not anyone specific per se thinking it's going to ease their hardships and make them love themselves more. And whilst that is true, shouldn't you first be happy with yourself by yourself? Before getting emotionally attached *and* emotionally attaching somebody else to yourself. I feel like a lot of people from the community really cling onto this idea of being "undesirable" or "unlovable" because of their identity that they get into relationships with someone they think they "deserve". And I'm not saying it's your situation, I just feel like it's disheartening and I've decided to pour my own thoughts under your comment (sorry for that). Regardless, your feelings for your friend could develop and blossom in the process but if you don't like her don't get with her - that's my initial point. Anyway, sorry for the lengthy text and best of luck in finding love to you (On the matter of comparing yourself to your partner: please remember that different bodies share a lot of features regardless of the person they belong to. And cis girls worry about that a lot too, if that makes it a tad bit sweeter)
@@Empressofnight I feel you ngl... But you could always test the waters, like watch her body language, see how she reacts when you talk about other people. In the end, you could always ask if she would be upset if you started seeing somebody and if she says "no, why?" and you feel like she really isn't interested in you, you could always go "oh, idk, just we'd spend less time together" or sth But best of luck to you, girl, you really need it rn
I am a Transfem and have a Transbian GF and it completely stoped most dysporia because i can see how she looks at me and in her eyes im a girl so i could never not feel like one. Also now that i still wanna continue transitioning even tho i found the love of my life confirmes that i rly am doing all of it for me and not for others
Icky and F1NN are in a t4t relationship (Trans 4 Twitch streamer)
trans 4 Totally Straight Guy
More like trans 4 twink femboy streamer
underrated content
For a while there I thought they broke up?
@@kikicakez They break up for about thirty seconds every couple weeks for the content.
“My boyfriend is a girl” best unhelpful yet very true quote from icky
how to confuse most cis people who are uneducated about gender in one sentence.
And her pronouns are he/him.
"I am... kind of... in a T4T relationship."
'Kind of' is doing a lot of heavy lifting there. 😄
🥚(Finn)
he's not that fat yo
keke
Heavy 🪨
Rock 🪨
@@bubbie2982no
This shit was foreshadowing ngl
Chekhov’s gun irl
F1nn is the gender equivalent of a square being a rectangle, but not all rectangles being squares.
a man is a woman but not every woman is a man?
what is this supposed to mean lol
@@ArbitraryCodeExecution a man is a person, but not every person is a man.
@@itsjohannawren yeah i get that but how does that relate to f1nn
f1nn's the manliest man out there
I had my first t4t date last weekend and it was amazing. She's my Valentine tomorrow (✿^‿^)
UPDATE: First, thanks for all the love!!! Second, best Valentine's Day ever - we even got each other the same Lego set coincidentally ( ꈍᴗꈍ)
Nice! 🤩 Enjoy your date 🥰
Cutest thing iv heard all day, congratulations ❤
Thank you!!
Hi there Cobie
Yayyyy I'm so happy for you!!
Finn may not be a trans woman but he _is_ a beautiful, cisgendered male girl 💁🏼♀️
In other words a femboy
Never thought I'd read such a sentence in my life xD
I'm not into men, but I can definitely see myself dating a man like Finn
PepeLa lol
This aged like milk
Since dating a genderfluid person, I've found myself being much more comfortable and confident with my partner than with past relationships. It helps a ton to be with someone that can understand the same struggles.
I definitely get this, but doesn't this technically make you a chaser? As you're specifically looking to date a trans person because they are trans. Or do we reserve the chaser label to CIS people only?
@@dumbodum Wanting someone who can share and relate to the same experiences as you isn't anywhere near close to fetishizing someone for being trans lol.
@@dumbodum as icky stated it’s about reasoning and context. I didn’t date them because they’re genderfluid. I date them because they’re cute and we have a bunch in common. But it is a benefit I’ve noticed over dating cis people
me too!!!!!!
@@dumbodum bruh, you just removed all nuance and intention from this situation. Like, nothing in the og comment sounded like they were a chaser whatsoever. It's quite obvious they're very happy with how comfortable, confident, and attracted to another they are. If you read their comment and "chaser" came to your mind, then you are the problem here.
"Kind of" a few weeks later is "yes completely t4t"
I like how much difficulty F1NN not being out yet caused for this video lool
I recently got into a Transbian relationship and we couldn't be happier, the weight of the world seems to melt when you have a partner who understands your struggles and pains almost all too well.
aaah that's so nice, i'm so happy for youu
real
i love transbians! (my heart has been broken and i fear it again)
Basedbasedbased me and my gf are transbians too and it's the most fulfilling relationship I've ever had
Well, this aged like wine!
A 1645 vintage of genderfluid ^^
Wait why-
@@sweetlilweirdofin came out as transgender/gender fluid or something
That bit about f1nn being like a tomato would be a really good youtube short.
As a transwoman (only cracked my shell a few months ago and still look very masc...) who got Tinder, I realised that pretty much 99% of my matches are t4t. It feels like an echo-chamber and a cage, sort of. I do have met a lovely transgirl who I am currently dating though, and I feel very save and comfortable around her, and so does she around me :3 She even said that with me, she feels kinda ok about down there, something she otherwise doesn't at all (I of course won't force anything upon her regarding that, I hope I can help her finding her way through that issue and be there for her however it will go)
On the other hand, I feel kinda less womanly for she is out way longer and is way more confident and experienced in the feminine ways.. But I bet she'll help my learn a lot c: Sorry for this long comment im just such s happy bean and wanted to share, have a great tiiime
this comment alone just gave me hope if u where able to find her on tinder
You know, there's nothing girlier than comparing how girly you are to other girls. Literally all of my cis friends that are girls have felt this way at least once, trust me
Being t4t doesn’t make you a chaser but it does mean it’s always funny to call yourself a chaser
Came here for Icky, stayed for Tank.
Amen, icky is also amazing tho
i have been in a t4t relationship, fwb thingy for a while and its kinda crazy how easy it is. i feel like cis relationships have this game of thrones posturing and rules and stuff but in t4t it feels like you can just have fun together cause there are no rules
This aged well
"Nonbinary dating.. everybody." From your lips to God's ears, Ashley...
Me being nonbinary, bi and maybe polyamorous… and also single 😅
Mama Icky: *educates people about T4T in the front of the video*
Tank: *is playfully waging war in the background*
😅
I've followed Finn from the beginning and I think you're the right woman for him. Love you two. Aunt Sarah ❤
let's see that tussy
I'm a cis straight dude and I've been binge watching your and F1NN's videos and, the tomato is a fruit thing was really funny XD.
Anyway I was gonna say, I really appreciate how you talk about cisgender people. You don't put all of us in the same boat. It's not like we're running low on cis-accepting spaces, but I feel "included" here too (or whatever the right word would be)
I came out as trans 3 years ago, I’m also autistic. Never intended to specifically date T4T or other autistic people but since finding my communities I honestly couldn’t imagine feeling comfortable in a relationship with someone who didn’t share at least one of those things with me
same
T4T definitely feels like something I’ve done subconsciously if I look back. Trying to explain being an agender demiboy isn’t exactly easy…
My partner and I just started dating after we realized after 8 months of being best friends we had feelings for each other! There is something so magical about T4T relationships that nothing else can compare to! We met at a trans support group and hit it off and basically haven't stopped talking since.
Wow that's incredible I've been in a lot of trans groups but unfortunately I never had that experience. You are very lucky 🤗
So, my girlfriend and I are T4T, and honestly, the sheer comfort in not needing to explain things is remarkable. As a transbian, a lot of my cis het friends are surprised that lesbian spaces aren't always accepting, but amount lesbians, less than thirty percent are willing to date trans people, and of that percent, more are willing to date trans men than trans women.
Having a girlfriend that just understands how my feelings about my body can be a massive struggle, who doesn't expect me to always top or "be the man" or (ick) think I'm "the best of both worlds" is a tremendous relief.
Honestly, the biggest for me is that, even with accepting cis people, it can feel like they love you *in spite of you being trans* and not because that's a part of you they actually like. My girlfriend just likes my body. She doesn't wish it was a cis woman's body, and the relief and affirmation is intense
My experience has been the lesbian spaces are far less accepting than that. Sure they're accepting on paper, but they're more likely to say or do horrible things and then blame me for being offended.
The idea of lesbians being more willing to date trans men than trans women is so weird to me. As a cis lesbian, I might be hesitant to date a trans woman, but I definitely wouldn't date a trans man.
@@conlon4332 look up Blair & hoskin 2019. That's where I'm getting this data from. And their sample didn't even skew old. The mean age was early twenties.
Honestly, I think there's an ugly trend among a lot of cis lesbians to be very genital essentialist and basically see trans men as "butch+" rather than actual men.
It's really dehumanising all around
Safety is attractive.
Just watching this Video after Finn's coming out... GUESS WHAT. ITS T4T for sure now
I got called a chaser for putting T4T in my profile.
It was pretty awkward, to say the least. The gal I was chatting with was attracted to my more masculine parts while I was specifically trying not to be masculine. She asked what T4T meant and I told her and she said "isn't that what chasers do? Date trans people because they're trans?"
I'm glad this is something Icky addressed
Come on, don't do him like that, F1nn is the pinnacle of manliness. He has knives, nerfguns, flexes his biceps and ... and ... has pretty dresses, girly underwear, boots, boobs ....., damn it, at least I TRIED to point out the manliness, but it is so hard.
T4T is so lit 🔥
The level of understanding and radical acceptance is just impossible to find with het folks
I think you mean cis folk not het.
@@rudymelo880 absolutely correct
A lot of the transgirls I've met, being one myself, are pretty damn comfortable with T4T. Then there's plenty, transgirls out there that want to be with a ciswoman or cisman. It's all fascinating because each person is so different. As for myself, I think I'll probably stick with other Ts 4 now.
"Technically" T4T, huh? That did not age well, did it? 😉
Any time she says she is "technically" not in a t4t relationship, what she really meant is that she is *officially* not in one.
"uploaded 17 seconds ago" damn youtube not messing around
It's actually really cool that you do these videos without a script. You seem so relaxed and genuine, I get so nervous trying to record myself for like anything 😅
I was with my boyfren 6 months during which time he said to me "Its fine if your trans" before my egg finally exploded. Since he has been on the journey with me he has an understanding so its definitely possible to get great cis guys! Going to trad wife so hard for him tmoz uWu
She's T4T she's dymamite she's T4T and she'll win the fight!
T4t here, and have never been happier. You don't have to explain anything when it's T4T. Your partner intrinsically understands the pain of dysphoria, and everything else surrounding the transgender medical condition. T4T hurts less than any other kind of relationship, and that's why so many of us end up with transgender partners.
If the Dog snatches something he doesnt suppose to eat (especially Onions) we usually give them a Treat as Trade Item.
can get tricky, and dangerouse if the Dog doesnt let go, so better be prepared and have a Plan.
This is alright to do, but dog brains are funny and if you do it too often they can start associating "stealing stuff" with "getting treat" which is how you inculcate new behaviors, right?
@@candyh4284 Yeah yeah but our Dog did already steal Stuff constantly, so it was whatever.
Its a acceptable Answer for emergencys.
@@Sunaki1000 Yeah for sure! didn't mean to sound admonishing there
@@candyh4284 You didnt, its good advice.
I think all of this sounds fair and right. I will add that lots of "Cis" people deal with, not feeling comfortable with their body. This feeling can manifest in many ways, and I wish more people would see these feelings as a way to relate to one another rather than ways divide us.
love your videos ♥ Keep doing what we and you love!
Thank you for teaching me more about the trans community! I am a cisgender guy and don't have many trans people around so I am not as well informed as I should be. I am still understanding all the different terms but I will get there
Im currently going threw transitioning MTF. I am so thankful that I have a supportive partner and supportive parent. You have actually been really helpful for me with clothing/other trans related stuff :)
So you're on e then? Can I hear about your experience so far, if that's okay?
@sarahcivilization9905 I haven't started E yet unfortunetly. Getting HRT where I life is a struggle
@@Ms-Eve ohhhhh I see my bad I thought you meant medical transitioning
40tf started hrt 4 months ago, just wanted to say Thankyou❤ your touching ppls lives and doing real good in the world :)
omg your outfit is so cute :3
great video icky ^w^
It isn't just safety, but other things as well. If I wake up and have a little facial hair z someone Trans will be less out of by it. You don't have to feel like you have to be as perfect and can relax more
I appreciate you making these videos
AAAAHHHHSLEY!!! , thank you for your videos :)
Speaking of the intro, I’d love to hear more about fashion from you. I know very little and your outfits and layering have been a big inspiration for me.
Icky thanks for making these videos they've helped me out so much
Thank you for these videos. I look forward to the next one ❤
Been transitioning for the last 6 years still relationship free, keeping it that way. Everything ends in pain it seems.
Whether cis, gender fluid or trans relationships all gone through the same thing each time.
Maybe im just that lucky to get emotionally black mailed each time.
You are awesome and an inspiration!
It is SO heckin cute to see tank right beside your chair in the background playing :3 so adorable!
I agree, we cis people can be not very nice. You are being an important step in my understanding to better avoid being rude unintentionally.
Thank you for sharing your insights into the nature of your relationship. In hir book "Transgender Warriors", Leslie Feinberg defines "transgender" as all "people who cross the cultural boundaries of gender", which includes femboys for sure. This definition is a lot broader than the gender-identity-based definition most use these days, but it makes sense when you describe your relationship as T4T!
Girl I just love you, your flow, the way you express yourself like I speak and flow!
I'm here because Icky is dope and i want to be a better ally, so when i read T4T i was like "She got a tattoo!?" :')
we luv icky vids 💗
It's nice to hear you include non-binary. I always feel like an outcast everywhere.
This is so true, but mainly online (for me). I feel like when other trans people see me in public they instantly go "Ah, Trans Women" which like... _ehhhh_
water all over my desk at 4:55 i wasn't ready, fantastic edit, 10/10
I really love your talks❤❤❤❤❤. Thank you for being here
I think you do a lot of t4t stuff in your videos, but at the same time it's also helpful and insightful in a t4cis way - enjoyed the video, as always 🙏
do love t4t, that instantly having a long list of things you can both relate to is nice. I do think though that like... there is sort of a gap between folks just starting their transition and those than have been going at it for a few years or more. it feels less like a full t4t experience and more like a mentorship and it can feel kinda off in a relationship depending on the person.
Helping Ashley with what is going on emotionally there, you tend to understand and relate to someone on a much deeper level because of a shared experience that effects your life in such a significant way that’s hard to understand if you haven’t experienced it.
Your channel is amazing for me bcs it makes me feel less alone and you are so relatable. There aren’t many trans channels out there but regardless, this one is such good quality and it is so genuine. Keep it up! You are a goos role model and your advice is used.
I absolutely adore your style of videos! I recently started transitioning and every other trans youtuber I watched just had a certain vibe that was difficult for me to follow at times. Not to say they were bad, they helped me understand a lot of things about myself. I don't know if Ashley is neurodivergent and I won't make assumptions but her videos are the type of vibe I like :)
they feel more real
Just saying, thanks for putting these videos together
I love your videos 💕
T4T is a life saver for me. It makes me feel so loved and worthy of that love. Just having someone that understands is amazing
2:42 oh yea baby nothing but mental stability and confidence here it’s fucking great
I think it’s an interesting topic. Definitely seen t4t seekers with similar motives and manners to chasers, however I totally get why someone would want that kind of relationship. No stress about coming out or showing yourself, and having someone who's been through your same experience sounds like it would be incredibly reliving in life.
I love your content homie, have fun with Tank
I'm in a t4t queerplatonic relationship (QPR). For the longest time I'd only heard of t4t as being for romantic and sexual relationships so it never really hit me but it helps even if there's not much of a physical aspect to a relationship. I can talk to my QPP about gender stuff and they have some background knowledge about it. It also helps with not bringing cisheteronormative expectations into the QPR. And they don't misgender me or talk about my body in uncomfortable ways. It's really lovely
QPR is bad. They might get relegated this season. 😂
@@Behold__Optic_Blast I'm curious what makes you say QPRs as a whole are bad
@@evermore331 because they're in the relegation zone and might go down. They concede too many goals and don't score enough. This is not how you survive a championship season.
And I'll now add that this was entirely an English football joke, because where I'm from QPR stands for Queens Park Rangers.
🤣
@@Behold__Optic_Blast ooooh thank you for explaining that. I was very confused
@@evermore331 hehe. 🤣
Thank you, so mutch ❣️
strong adhd vibes in intro
Always love your videos, the info is so helpful as a newly trans person so thank you for sharing! And always a shout out the the editor that continues to put Earthbound (Mother II) music in the videos :)
Thank you, Tank, you're such a good boy.
I had to watch the video two times, because the first time I was completely distracted with the puppy. SO CUTE AND ADORABLE!
So happy for anyone in a relationship of any form, happy early valentines!!!
Oh that's why you said basically t4t
Thanks for making your videos my wife and i watch them together and it helps explain some things about trans spaces and my being trans that I cant articulate as well! Also cute doggie! 💙🤍❤
Team Fortress Two :o
My boyfriend had transitioned for 3 years then detransitioned. He's now nonbinary but primarily masc presenting. So far it's been the most fulfilling relationship I've ever had. There is definitely a lot of comfort in not having to explain and he understands my experience.
So I dated a person (who like is still absolutely one of my favourite humans ever btw) and we broke up and a year later, she came out as trans. So now I, a cis very straight woman, has an ex girlfriend and it’s the funniest shit, ggs to her,
I love how you find the words to explain things like this so that non-trans folks can get some understanding of what a trans person has to face in different parts of their life. It's been an eye-opener for me! And all the while this video is being made while the world's cutest four-legged agent of destruction carries out his work in the background!
Dating a girl as a trans woman can be quite disphoric for a lot of reasons indeed. There's a level of telepathy and mutual understanding, which is magical, but also could trigger some things into said person. My experience is kinda mixed. I'm in the early stages of my transition, so there's still a lot of boymodding and mental barriers in my day to day life. It's the worst when we go out and she's all gorgeous, make up and all, and I'm so basic. I try to get better, but there's just so much to learn and so little time (My job doesn't let me live)...and then she's just beautiful. It gives me the feeling I'll never be like her, if that makes sense...that the universe hates me and only lets her be a woman. I know this will get better, but I've been carrying this damn burden for months already and it's getting really distressful. She's quite supportive, and also trans (gender-fluid, but mostly fem) SO SHE GETS ME. She's doing her part, but the road is rough.
Don't know if you'll ever see this but......
If she supports you, whatever YOU Do.... , Don't run her off !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't be jealous either, BE Proud of how Beautiful she is (your words)
Use her beauty as something to strive for !!!!! If she's willing to stick it out with you, the battles half over with !!!!
You, most likely will never find another (never say never) that will be everything you need !!!!!
Annnnnnnnnd, while I'm lecturing you, How do you know you won't be as pretty as her ????? , You are still Waaaay early into your transition !!!
It ALL Takes time , it isn't an overnight thing, She didn't get that way overnite and neither will you !!!!
Take it from someone who could be your "Granny ", don't force it, let it come at the pace its meant to
Good luck sweetie !!!!!!
@@wilburshuman thank you my friend. Also believe it or not but you answered an hour before i got my first HRT ever kjkj. Like I'm in front of the drugstore and just picked the phone to check something out. Thank you for your kindness and I hope you have an amazing life
Be safe and be happy
I'm just a silly lil guy, and watching your vids always makes me happy
"When my boyfriend (alleged) is ..." killed me 💀
almost could not pay attention to you with tank playing in the background.😍
Totally not what the video was about but i like hearing someone else say that 3years in is still early in transition. Im also 3 years in and i see a lot of trans ppl online doing their transition timelines act like ~3 years is the endpoint and i still feel like a trans baby😭 im also only just starting to get some of the changes recently bc genetics, so it's nice to see other "late bloomers" i guess😅
Great vid, and interesting dating stuff, also you are just too beautiful aaaaaaa
My immediate assumption about why it exists was for not having to explain shit. I imagine even if people are well meaning and want to be allies etc. you probably hear a lot of the same questions you just don't have to go through answering with other trans people. Also no chasers would probably be a big draw card.
I'm about to get my bottom surgery btw ^_^ been almost 5 years process and about 18 years since knowing. It's been tough but I'm so ready!!!
As someone from Ireland when I saw T4 Tinder my mind autocompleted it to TG4 which is an Irish speaking channel. Also didn't know there was a name for it so that's cool to learn.
Hey can you do a video on adhd motivation and life balance since you seem to have it together. Obviously everyone's adhd is different but it would be great if you could share your experience
My first partner since coming out was a cis man but it felt very stressful, I noticed things I found masculine and attractive about him made me increadibly dysohoric when I noticed the same or similar things in the mirror, I have considered asking out a friend of mine who herself is trans but I don't want to mess that friendship up. She gets me really well and I get her but I am one that gets to be weird when I bring things like that up and have to literally force myself to be chill around her lest I chase her off by being weird.
Honestly, just do what feels right (as basic as it sounds). But personally I don't think it's a great idea to get into a relationship with anyone just out of the convince of it. You don't need to date someone to have them support, love and appreciate you as a person. Now, I don't know what you actually feel towards your friend but as someone who can somewhat relate to the described situation I have a question: why do you feel the need to be in a specifically romantic relationship with anyone? Because I often meet people who just want to be in a relationship with someone, not anyone specific per se thinking it's going to ease their hardships and make them love themselves more. And whilst that is true, shouldn't you first be happy with yourself by yourself? Before getting emotionally attached *and* emotionally attaching somebody else to yourself. I feel like a lot of people from the community really cling onto this idea of being "undesirable" or "unlovable" because of their identity that they get into relationships with someone they think they "deserve". And I'm not saying it's your situation, I just feel like it's disheartening and I've decided to pour my own thoughts under your comment (sorry for that).
Regardless, your feelings for your friend could develop and blossom in the process but if you don't like her don't get with her - that's my initial point.
Anyway, sorry for the lengthy text and best of luck in finding love to you
(On the matter of comparing yourself to your partner: please remember that different bodies share a lot of features regardless of the person they belong to. And cis girls worry about that a lot too, if that makes it a tad bit sweeter)
@@unknownuser838 I have genuine romantic feelings for her, I have no idea if she feels similarly about me.
@@Empressofnight I feel you ngl... But you could always test the waters, like watch her body language, see how she reacts when you talk about other people. In the end, you could always ask if she would be upset if you started seeing somebody and if she says "no, why?" and you feel like she really isn't interested in you, you could always go "oh, idk, just we'd spend less time together" or sth
But best of luck to you, girl, you really need it rn
I am a Transfem and have a Transbian GF and it completely stoped most dysporia because i can see how she looks at me and in her eyes im a girl so i could never not feel like one. Also now that i still wanna continue transitioning even tho i found the love of my life confirmes that i rly am doing all of it for me and not for others
highly recommend ashton daniel's video on this topic as well!