The 5 Needs That Motivate You And How You Get Stuck

แชร์
ฝัง
  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น •

  • @alexanneschronicles
    @alexanneschronicles 2 ปีที่แล้ว +353

    The 7 characteristics self actualized people have that she names :
    1- They are accepting of themselves and others and have a democratic world view.
    2- They embrace the unknown and can tolerate uncertainty.
    3- They prioritize the journey over the destination.
    4- They establish deep relationships with a few people and need their privacy and alone time.
    5- They are concerned for the welfare of humanity as a whole.
    6- They have a non-hostile sense of humor.
    7- They're problem-focused instead of self-focused.
    Hopes this can help other people who like me needed to reread all these slowly to actually understand and digest them. Great video as always! Thanks Dr. Marks!

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  2 ปีที่แล้ว +65

      Thanks for the summary list. That's helpful! 👍🏽

    • @sakuraesther6309
      @sakuraesther6309 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thankyou

    • @2degucitas
      @2degucitas 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      THAT is self actualization?? I've valued these ways of thinking all my life! I haven't always been in a safe place to live them.

    • @andrewgodly5739
      @andrewgodly5739 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      There was a time when I used to be all those things. But after a good bit of experience, I now realize that humanity must be purged

    • @basedmek
      @basedmek 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@andrewgodly5739 ok Zeke Yeager

  • @josslynsterner882
    @josslynsterner882 2 ปีที่แล้ว +286

    I'm so happy I found this video today I'm struggling with the bottom of Maslow's I have a degree in psychology I'm 30 years old self-employed and currently homeless by no fault of my own but I found my way now but I'm now healing from my trauma I had to step away from an abusive situation and start a new life somewhere else somewhere I've been before with familiar faces and scars so it's like I'm facing everything at once so this was a great way for me to help myself succeed and I really want to thank you cuz I don't have access to a therapist right now because I have problems with my insurance and changing states it's been challenging so you've been keeping me hanging in there for now until I can get myself the real help I need thank you you don't know how much it means to me I know you don't even know me

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  2 ปีที่แล้ว +40

      I'm happy Josslyn you found this video as well. I hope you get on your feet soon. Here's a playlist of my psychology concepts videos th-cam.com/play/PLazcP3-djRZ3mvvkAUvGNYPPJp4HED2hQ.html

    • @nicoleonlysometimes824
      @nicoleonlysometimes824 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@DrTraceyMarks i luv u

    • @notpub
      @notpub 2 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      @@DrTraceyMarks You are so kind and refreshing in a stale world riddled with cruelty and random injustice!

    • @josslynsterner882
      @josslynsterner882 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@DrTraceyMarks thank you so much ❤️❤️🙂🙂

    • @ItsJWandoe
      @ItsJWandoe 2 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Glad you’re pushing toward doing better instead of giving up! Stay strong Queen!

  • @dmgsoultogetherness6667
    @dmgsoultogetherness6667 2 ปีที่แล้ว +175

    This is a tricky one. .when it comes fulfillment and goals,aspirations but you have significant mental health issues,and your basic needs are even difficult to acquire,it can be soul destroying,where we drift through one day to the next sometimes only wishing to make it through the day..the other levels become almost unattainable. Yes we can hope to travel more,see friends more,but our top tier is maybe only half way up. The future for mental health sufferers can literally be....i hope tomorrow isnt horrendous,and i can eat a little 🥰

  • @nathaliedufour3891
    @nathaliedufour3891 2 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    Growing up I had the lowest level. We had money, food, a roof, that's where it stopped. Thank you Tracy this simple concept helps

    • @SweetUniverse
      @SweetUniverse 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Same here. My dad believed that was all children needed - food, clothing & a roof overhead. And my mother agreed with him.

    • @shagenburg26
      @shagenburg26 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      That is alot more than most people have.

    • @furrosama
      @furrosama 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      haha same. Everyone has different problems but we gotta focus on our own.

    • @marleyhill34
      @marleyhill34 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Similar but I had some belonging at church and high/secondary school. I was bullied at primary school and I'm now realising at age 40 that I felt like an appendage to my parents. I didn't believe I could be my own person. I was just a reflection of them. Holy crap - I was a non-person. So glad I demanded freedom and freed myself at age 18. I would literally rather sleep on the street than beg them to come home. Been homeless 4 times in 3 years. My mom wanted me to come home. My dad was like stay where you are and get a job. Dad's the more rational one but he is also the more abusive one.

  • @billyjoesmo8251
    @billyjoesmo8251 2 ปีที่แล้ว +110

    When you have a relationship that fails and your business fails I would tell people it's like falling off the top of a Mountain. Or in this case a pyramid. And in the process of rebuilding my life I made sure each foundational level was Stronger and more dependable. Knowing your weaknesses at each level will give you a definite advantage to rebuilding life to the fullest

    • @thanapornnitsmer1567
      @thanapornnitsmer1567 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thanks for sharing

    • @flowerfullgirl_
      @flowerfullgirl_ 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      i fell from the sky

    • @seekabs
      @seekabs 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Glad to hear things are much better! All the best!

    • @garlandxx3400
      @garlandxx3400 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It’s more like falling into a deep dark crevice and hitting the jagged sides as you keep falling and you know there is hot lava on the bottom when you hit

  • @mayvytran9463
    @mayvytran9463 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I do love the sentence at the end of this video: 'Not getting there doesn't mean you fail in life. It's more being self-fulfilled by whatever works for you'. Thank you!

  • @jimwilkey7294
    @jimwilkey7294 2 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    Dr. Tracey is hands down one of the best in her craft! Her style, information and delivery are top shelf!

  • @meeks1201
    @meeks1201 2 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    Thank you for this- it helps me understand and empathize with folks on a different level than before. I live in NYC and the homeless/mentally unwell population has grown rapidly and of course they’re ‘stuck’ because the first two levels of the pyramid aren’t even close to being met. The system is completely broken and continues to ignore basic human needs/rights for individuals to survive/thrive and this is why I’m passionate about harm reduction and public health. Thank you for this, I can’t wait to share with others!

    • @marleyhill34
      @marleyhill34 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@EggEnjoyer I was homeless and mentally unstable. Now I have gave a stable home in government subsidised housing and a diagnosis with qualifies for government disability assistance. I have a little part-time job and I go to therapy/support group three times a week. But I was lucky, most of my treatment was free, I had a good church and a good high/secondary school and I have a good IQ. I have Borderline/Emotionally Unstable Personality disorder. I can overspend my money or underspend my money. Some people can't afford anything. some people abuse substances to cope. Some people have a low IQ. Some people have never known kindness in their life long enough to make a positive impact on their lives. Some people have no set of values, beliefs and principles to anchor themselves to in the storm of life so they make decisions on their more animalistic desires. Dog eat dog. Kill or be killed. Exploit the vulnerable. It takes true grit to survive a mental illness and homelessness and addiction (most addicts have trauma. Addiction is mostly a coping mechanism)

    • @meeks1201
      @meeks1201 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@marleyhill34 I am so happy to read that you were able to get the help and find stability- it takes hard work and strong will to want to better a situation, I know it wasn’t easy so I have so much respect for you for choosing to find the help and resources. I see that a lot of folks have so much trauma and untreated mental illnesses, and they’ve been on survival mode for so long that they can’t even think past getting their next fix/hustling because they’d rather do that and have some sense of control over their lives than have to change and seek help. The system is so failed- in my city it’s getting so bad and now they’re carrying out the hate narratives that started from up top by committing violent crimes on folks who are just living honest lives. I wish you nothing but the best and that God keeps blessing you for all the work you’ve done to make your life better 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

    • @meeks1201
      @meeks1201 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@EggEnjoyer 💯 nobody wants to be homeless and live a life full of struggles but it’s easier for folks to criminalize and look down on them than actually help the community, it’s terrible. The effort the homeless have to put into their day to day survival is way more intense than what one with a modest apartment and job does. But that’s where the mental illness comes in, they’re in survival mode and are lacking the logic that one needs to make the choices and steps to meet their basic needs 😢 It’s heartbreaking that so many folks in this country are suffering because they don’t have the resources they need to be well.

    • @marleyhill34
      @marleyhill34 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@meeks1201 THanks and the same to you.

  • @emanuelsanders2030
    @emanuelsanders2030 2 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    For the love of God, please keep these coming! There is a demographic that you are reaching, all employees do not have insurance coverage allowing them to seek mental help! Your videos give us structure, support and hope! We appreciate you more, much more than you know!

  • @hopefortomorrow2143
    @hopefortomorrow2143 2 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    I've recently realized that for much of my life I've felt emotional unsafe and it's really shaped how I've reacted and handled my life. I'm now in a place where I'm feeling emotionally safe and getting help healing all these years. I hadn't thought about it in terms of Maslow's pyramid though. This makes a lot of sense looking at my life and gives me even more hope of how much can improve with the work I'm doing. Thank you so much for these videos!

  • @charleskidney4279
    @charleskidney4279 2 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Yeah, it's all very interesting and very well explained. I see people getting stuck at the basic needs a lot. Usually due to health reasons.

    • @marleyhill34
      @marleyhill34 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I have a mental illness. Once my basic needs were met, I went about looking at how I could achieve the others. A lot of trial and error. A lot of fails. A few wins. The thing is I'm smart, I went to a top high/secondary school and a top law school in my country. I'm not a lawyer because of my mental illness. A lot of my wins were to find free/cheap psychotherapy/psycho-therapeutic support groups. So I could learn to hack my brain. Once you learn to manage your illness, it's amazing what you can achieve.

  • @mhuard15
    @mhuard15 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you so much for your beautiful and instructive videos on mental health Dr. Tracey Marks

  • @michellec.4994
    @michellec.4994 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This pandemic has changed my life.. my social life sucks,.. no boyfriend, nowhere to go to just go dancing, people dying..just depressing. Going to work..dealing with lazy coworkers... it never ends!!!

  • @julioliarts
    @julioliarts 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Honestly i have to say, you as a professional providing this incredible knowledge to so many people in the world and all of it for free is amazing. Thank you for helping so many!

  • @caobranch
    @caobranch 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Congrats on your 1 million mark. You are a star 💗✨

  • @AllWeNeedIsLove77
    @AllWeNeedIsLove77 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Dr. Marks thank you, thank you. I been asking to myself with tears “Why am I not driven” to live my life well. 7 years after divorce, big big mistakes as a father. I am realizing self sabotage and learned helplessness has also played a factor. Anyway your presentation has made me see some of my most basic need haven’t been met so of course I won’t truly be able to self actualize. I know God is listening to my prayers. Thank you again and I am praying for you as well. Congrats on the 1 Million mark. Dr. MARKS

    • @marleyhill34
      @marleyhill34 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I do not have children or a life partner so that has taken a big chunk out of my love and belong needs which also messes with my self identity and self actualisation. December 2022 with be 9 years of marital separation with no divorce. I'm still in mental recovery from the fall out. I've had to go to court for my mental disability and I can't face going to court for a divorce as well right now on top of everything.

  • @yawillykwily7179
    @yawillykwily7179 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Last year I was going thru depression and anxiety but thanks to Dr Tracey Marks videos and other youtubers I was able to safely navigate out of it. This year I am in a much better place mentally. Don't give up yet. Seek help and Support, self care, sleep well eat healthy and this shall pass. You will be more wiser and mentally stronger afterwards.

    • @rockandfashion7207
      @rockandfashion7207 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Which other youtubers? Got any other recs?

    • @yawillykwily7179
      @yawillykwily7179 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@rockandfashion7207 yes, check out Swamy G, Depersonalization Manual. That if you experijg anxiety Depersonalization.

  • @MatthieuEverett
    @MatthieuEverett 2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    You’ve really been a godsend. Can’t explain the last few years of my life but they’ve definitely gotten progressively worse. Your videos have done an amazing job helping me organize my thoughts

  • @notpub
    @notpub 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐Simply brilliant---Dr Marks takes the mystery of psychiatric concepts and makes them easily digestible for the rest of us. I studied Maslow in a philosophy class at junior college under the context of "Humanism." I never knew it had psychiatric implications until now. WOW. Brava Dr Marks for another great video!!!

  • @theofficialgwiz
    @theofficialgwiz 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This came up as a recommendation because of a video of yours I’ve watched in the past and I didn’t realize just how much value I would get from this one video. Thank you so much for this!

  • @hydrynt
    @hydrynt 2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    This really makes me happy, I am so stressed about that last level. I always think about the future but maybe I should focus more on the lower levels.

    • @marleyhill34
      @marleyhill34 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      That's the key. 😉 The more you build the lower levels the more you feel self actualised! I'm 40. I have Borderline/Emotionally Unstable Personality. No one can say that I didn't live my life to its fullest. When I was very ill and unstable and homeless, I had to start from scratch again and the stratch was the bottom of the pyramid. I could not focus on the future. I was too overwhelming and just ramps up my anxiety and I'm too anxious I don't think rationally. I could only focus on the now. I still practice this daily when I feel overwehelmed. I go right back to the bottom of the pyramid and evaluate: have I eaten enough today, have I had enough sleep/rest, have I given myself a mental break, do I feel safe and secure, what can I do to make myself feel safer right now. Even something as odd as my weighted blanket makes me feel more safe. Sometimes our adult brains have difficulty regulating our emotions just like a toddler/baby and often the easiest, simplest and most effective thing to do is too soothe the body by engaging all 5 senses. There's a lot of science on this although it's more neuroscience than psychology. Build up those lower levels!

  • @alexandersokolov5639
    @alexandersokolov5639 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    What a brilliant description! Brilliant in the simplicity. I definitely had some gaps in first 2 groups some time ago. You just described why I was loosing interest to everything.Thank you so much!

  • @poshdelux
    @poshdelux 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Im so grateful i found this channel a few days ago ... I actually took a sigh of relief, I never had anyone explain something to me in such a clear concise way. Thank you for all that you do.

  • @vh3914
    @vh3914 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I have known about the pyramid for years but somehow never looked into it.
    Mind blown.
    Thank you!

  • @lunarribbon917
    @lunarribbon917 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Dr. Tracy, thanks so much for all your helpful and informative concepts, it's so nice to see people opening up and sharing their experiences in the comments section!
    All your information is clear, concise, and well-presented and well-researched. Thanks for caring about humanity 💖

  • @m.r.wiggins1537
    @m.r.wiggins1537 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Dr. Marks for taking the time to explain this in plain language.

  • @Leonardqh5kp
    @Leonardqh5kp 10 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you Dr Tracey - definitely feeling a void about not focusing on romantic relationships over career objectives. Couldn't put a name to the feeling until watching this video.

  • @andrzejmaranda3699
    @andrzejmaranda3699 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Dr. Tracey Marks: THANK YOU SOOO MUCH for this video! This subject is SOOO IMPORTANT!

  • @topking403
    @topking403 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    You make a whole lot of sense I especially love ur perspective on adhd as I'm going through it now

  • @cassiehouse1937
    @cassiehouse1937 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Congrats on a million. I like that your videos are short and concise.

  • @Inga912
    @Inga912 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    So glad you explained self actualisation!

  • @rickerson81
    @rickerson81 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Thanks for this video. Sometimes one can get lost in routine or the fog of one's own thoughts and this helped me regain that focus.

    • @marleyhill34
      @marleyhill34 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Every day I have to put in checks so that I do not get lost in ruminating.

  • @karlr2908
    @karlr2908 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    SUCH a helpful video. Really gives perspective on the frustration I feel.

  • @sipinthatbub
    @sipinthatbub 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    OMG this is so true and accurate. I think i didn't fulfill the belonging level, that's why no job makes me happy

    • @marleyhill34
      @marleyhill34 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I'm not happy because I don't feel loved. I don't feel loved because I lack a deep level of intimacy and connection with anyone.

  • @betweensirachahardplace8812
    @betweensirachahardplace8812 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    We need to listen to Dr. Tracy -- she's the real deal and knows her science!

  • @BlueKermit27
    @BlueKermit27 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I needed to hear this today. Thank you.

    • @mirandawiley5208
      @mirandawiley5208 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      I dropped my pill in this sofa monster now im having trouble getting another when will these people trust me with my medication

    • @intp9944
      @intp9944 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      that’s exactly what i thought

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You are welcome Nolan 👍🏽

  • @garymclaughin
    @garymclaughin 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Number three and number one endeavour to improve one left to there own devices we are social creatures but always did things by myself best person to trust in is yourself. Thank you. Sawadee 🤠

  • @viktorvilotijevic
    @viktorvilotijevic 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Dr. Marks! I've been struggling with Bipolar 2 for 13 years, and your entire channel helps a lot.

  • @Leoo117
    @Leoo117 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This makes sense. I really hate humor that involves putting others down, even though I grew up with it all around me.

  • @bigmommie120
    @bigmommie120 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My safety needs are not being met and that is really effecting me. I’m not being abused or hurt however my family lives with others and I’m better this year with how I am dealing with the living situation….but I still really want my own place for my kids and I. I also need more $$$.

  • @O-Demi
    @O-Demi 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I don't know how YT algorithm knows what I'm thinking about and suggests videos that help me think

  • @bneum
    @bneum ปีที่แล้ว

    Such a great summary! Thanks! Will return to this for reference!

  • @furrosama
    @furrosama 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Nice. As a teen, i acknowledge that its fine that humanity is going south. Its not my place to care if I cant even care for myself yet and dont have deep meaningful connections or things to look forward to 😍

    • @luciddreams5272
      @luciddreams5272 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Go join a volunteer service. Look at life through a micro view vice macro. Try to find people into the same things you are. Dont fall into despair if you are alive above the ground then there is always hope. Commit to something new and challenging. Delve into many different things. Discover who you are. Take care of yourself this world isnt lost. You are the future you got this. Be the change you want in this world.

  • @THEKINGOFGAYMUSIC
    @THEKINGOFGAYMUSIC 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    What you said at the very end about removing obstacles and, get back to what matters too you was something I needed to hear. I recently had an awakening. I had no idea I was raised by people who hated me only to grow up and, surround myself with more people who hate me. I thought being talked down too, passive aggressiveness etc was normal. I know better but, it kind of broke me to see the fake smiles upfront so, I just stopped what I love to do and, tried to clean some of this mess. The problem is I now realize the thing I love was born out of protection from these people. Kind of like working on adrenaline but, now that I cancelled all these people I fear I might not love my career at all.

  • @JXtreme21
    @JXtreme21 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for this video Dr Marks. Even though I struggle with accepting scientific evidence because of limited understanding when comparing science to spiritualism or personal
    Beliefs in a higher entity and trusting that first, I really do get what you’re saying here and it gives me a relatively simple understanding as to why I may still go back and forth in my mind with unresolved emotions or conflicts. And one thing I find so interesting is how when I look at helpful information that is scientifically or research based, I can find that science is explaining information in a way that makes better sense to some people and if you compare it what you find in a Bible, there is information that supports what Maslow is saying about belonging and such. But that’s all I can think of right now. So, again, thank you for your brief but well versed explanation of the hierarchy and if I ever have questions for you, I hope you’ll have time to answer.

  • @brilliantdecember
    @brilliantdecember 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is very sobering. Thank you so much.

  • @dee2thedub
    @dee2thedub 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Damn this is so good and timely. Thank you a million times.

  • @romansizer
    @romansizer 2 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    My word… this is a concept I absolutely needed to learn about right now. Thank you.

  • @stephanieg460
    @stephanieg460 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you so much for helping to make the complexity of simply being human understandable in a comforting and supportive way! Coming across your page has been a blessing as I am learning to love and accept myself as I continue to grow! This one will be saved for replaying and sharing! 🙌🏾Thank you for choosing to help so many people become better people for themselves first! Much love and respect to you for sharing your wealth with the world! 💐🙏🏾💜🫂

  • @MrDanielRabin
    @MrDanielRabin 2 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Hi Tracey,
    This is great reminder. Can you speak to how life events leading to basic needs not being met - such as bankruptcy or loss of income - can effect someone who previously was having their belonging and status needs met (and to an extent still identify that those needs are at least somewhat met).
    Personally I’m struggling with stress of my business and income being impacted by the pandemic, but I still have a strong sense of belonging etc. but there is a disconnect that causes a lot of confusion / anxiety etc.

    • @marleyhill34
      @marleyhill34 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      The thing about trauma (let's just say that this whole pandemic thing has been traumatic) it obliterates all needs. To connect to another human/society and feel like you belong, you need to feel safe and secure in yourself and externally also. I don't know if you know about mindfulness, affirmations and gratititude diaries. Basically, these are two psychotherapeutic tool/skills that makes the mind focus on what you currently have now. This in turn help to calm the mind down. If you focus on the negative future potential outcomes, you ramp up the anxiety and the insecure and unsafe feeling which in turn makes you feel threatened which in turn makes you look aggressive, defensive and irrational to people around you who are not seeing the same level of threat or feeling the same unsafety or insecurity. Thereby damaging your platonic, familial, community, working, romantic and sexual relationships. Source, myself having spent 10 years in various different psychotherapy treatments. Cheapest, fastest, option talk to someone neutral, therapist, religious leader, anonymous group. If after 6 weeks, your mental state does not improve, seek long term counselling. If you can't afford a paid or cheap therapist, find a free one through various charities. Also Anonymous groups are free. Approach it with an open mind and what applies to you take away, what doesn't apply to you leave behind. A lot of people express cynicism at and are triggered by a Anonymous groups and quit before actually completing all 12 steps. I say try to complete the 12 steps....and then if you still think that it is crap look for long term psychotherapy about 6-12 months once a week. Intensive psychotherapy is really for people like me with a diagnosed personality disorder which is twice a week in a group and with an individual one to one therapist.

  • @julierahn6932
    @julierahn6932 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    thanks for this clear explanation, came at the right time - shalom

  • @willow.bell.illustration
    @willow.bell.illustration 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I had no idea I was "self actualized" according to that list. What a crazy video to stumble upon. I usually don't get along with people due to these 7 points, oddly enough.

  • @JeffTheWizard
    @JeffTheWizard 2 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Hi, can u help me.. what do you do when the first base needs are chronically challenged or not met...
    I feel it changes my mood and the way my brain works..
    Also I cant keep up with that deep anxious feeling anymore and I cant really blame it for being there...
    ty for your videos

    • @marleyhill34
      @marleyhill34 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      When I had this issue, I put all of my focus into building up the bottom level. I forgot about love, belonging, status, and self actualisation. I had to re-budget, default on my creditors (I paid them back but I had to default to stop the interest. That's how it works in my country, its informal and it stays on your credit file for 5 years.. Unlike a full bankruptcy) I was in a half way house/shelter/hostel/refuge/motel for 18 months. But I worked at a supermarket all through living in the homeless shelter/hostel. No one knew I lived in a shelter at work. I still work there for 8 years. This job saved my life. I also applied for government assistance.

    • @JeffTheWizard
      @JeffTheWizard 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@marleyhill34 Same story sort of..
      But I did have to really work on not losing the connection with the world and my sanity. Human contact and touch and being seen is such a basic need too that it too became survival.
      When you are dying of thirst, you have to drink water, doesnt matter if its filthy or dsnt want a monogamous relationship (sorry personal issues haha)
      I think the survival can become an excuse... for not investing in people or not caring about others or not doing what we actually want to do...
      It can be a really mind trap where we go in circles because the anxiety and fear becomes normal and healthy instigates fear.
      I find that to get out of this, something needs to change on the inside..

    • @marleyhill34
      @marleyhill34 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@JeffTheWizard If you drink that dirty filthy water, you will die faster than if you work on a solution to filter and clean that water. We have to chose our pain. Dirty water dying in agony immediately or dying slowly and potentially being rescued or finding some actual clean water. In the modern world, there are healthy choices for human contact, touch and being seen that do not harm you. How do hermits, nuns and monks do it? If you are struggling to figure it out then you need to see a therapist or a support group. There is an Anonymous group for Emotional Anorexia.

    • @JeffTheWizard
      @JeffTheWizard 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@marleyhill34 no sorry, that is not correct...
      no water equals certain death..
      no touch means death.
      people all over the world are coping or making the best with what they have and dont know there is better possible.
      People cant pay for a therapist always or are on a waiting list.. not every therapist is actually good and can be damaging..
      support groups can be gaslighting.
      you think that dirty water will kill you?? why.
      its not black and white

    • @marleyhill34
      @marleyhill34 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@JeffTheWizard ok. I live without touch. I'm very much alive and healthy. In fact human touch makes me want to peel my skin off. It's worst on my face. I'm OK. On my way to self actualisation as a untouchable Hermit. Good luck on your journey.

  • @xerxiusmaximus
    @xerxiusmaximus 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This was epic…. EPIC. I was first introduced to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs as a freshman in college. The book Class by Paul Fussell… was handed to me by a much adored and venerated college administrator. It was this PhD who would later enlighten me on the whole psychology of self actualization… and “leaning in” on one’s own potential… a thing totally autonomous of any sense of leverage beyond it in itself. The wonder that is introduced herein is so often, too often, loss on my contemporaries and many of whom I am acquainted… thank you for so simply yet most eloquently giving such voice to these vital elements of improving upon oneself, but by only improving upon oneself.

  • @dmtdreamz7706
    @dmtdreamz7706 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Have you ever had a dream that you, um, you had, your, you- you could, you’ll do, you- you wants, you, you could do so, you- you’ll do, you could- you, you want, you want them to do you so much you could do anything?
    If you have something that you really want in your life, spend lots of time thinking about it. The more you think the more ideas will pop up the more creative your gonna start to get. Your subconscious mind doesn't care if your vision is crazy. It doesnt care if you dont know how to do it.
    When you see a thing clearly in your mind, your creative "success mechanism" within you takes over and does the job much better than you could do it by conscious effort or willpower.
    A different psychedelic from a different planet every nanosecond.
    All sorts of dreams are possible.
    The human nervous system cannot tell the difference between an "actual" experience and an experience imagined vividly and in detail.
    Synthesize "experience," to literally create experience, and control it, in the laboratory of our minds.
    A vision is a very emotional image, the most powerful image that you can come up with for yourself at this time. This vision will become like a hallucination in other peoples mind and this could be the cause of them creating extraordinary things.

  • @tavvegan1182
    @tavvegan1182 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Dr. Marks, you are improving lives with these, to the point yet gentle videos. I love your explanations. Keep on making videos, you’re one of the best!

  • @florakraus6625
    @florakraus6625 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    wow this makes me understand myself so much better. thank you for this video

  • @dougt7665
    @dougt7665 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Really enjoy your videos Dr. Marks.

  • @latoyapride-cook8079
    @latoyapride-cook8079 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm so glad I found this

  • @metamentality9818
    @metamentality9818 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks for the video! Very insightful!

  • @firelily77
    @firelily77 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you, that was very enlightening.

  • @letticiaojeda650
    @letticiaojeda650 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    You're so amazing && very much appreciated.. I think I speak for majority when I say your words/videos are a sigh of relief;; We may be a little off lol you give us realistic hope that wee CAN be at peace with ourselves. Thank you, Bless you🙌🙏

  • @kimberknutson831
    @kimberknutson831 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is really good. Thank you. I often distinguish between mere survival and actually living a full, happy, rewarding life. Unfortunately, due to childhood trauma and neglect, far too many people are stuck in that second level that pertains to personal safety. I know this because I used to be one of these people and fortunately no longer am. I am busily engaged most of the time now with things that will satisfy that top tier. Tragically, being stuck in that personal safety level even prevent you from experiencing the third level having to do with affiliation. If you experienced violence and/or neglect as a child, the notion of intimacy can be terrifying, though I get your point about there being varying degrees and kinds of belonging. Last year, my therapist recommended Besel van der Kolk's book, The Body Keeps the Score, which radically changed my understanding of human psychology. I have advanced degrees in literature and academic writing, and my "subject position" or critical bias during my graduate work was psychoanalytic criticism. As a result, I have read most of the primary works of the heavy hitters in psychology, such as Freud, Jung, Klein, Adler, Kristeva, Winnicot, Lacan, and many others. My mind has been blown by the insight that we carry trauma around in our bodies at the cellular level that we may have zero memory of, making traditional "talk therapy" not only ineffective but downright threatening and dangerous in some cases. He argues that people's bodies are often interested in survival to such an extent that the body can register a "trigger" that sends it into survival mode that the mind does not even notice until it is too late. It is the traumatized body, then, that is stuck in that second safety tier and, therefore, engages in that "fight or flight" behavior that, unfortunately, characterizes far too many relationships. My therapist explains that when this happens, one of the main goals of therapy is to attempt to reconnect the various components of our mind/body complexes that became segregated and isolated from one another due to childhood trauma and often undeveloped due to neglect. I have used this Maslow concept in a variety of ways to understand a variety of things about the human experience. Again, thank you. : )

  • @Itsrichardash
    @Itsrichardash 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you for making these videos

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You're welcome really enjoy making them. 😊

  • @deepaharish6593
    @deepaharish6593 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    You are a God send - thank you 🙏🏼

  • @missyface5
    @missyface5 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I know this is unrelated but I realized recently I've been suffering from savior complex for many years and I would love it if you could do a video on this. Thanks!

    • @sockpuppet2415
      @sockpuppet2415 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Martyr complex is compulsive care taking/codependency

  • @jenna.w.9041
    @jenna.w.9041 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Dr. Marks your videos are wonderful. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us!

  • @victormontoya3376
    @victormontoya3376 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is gold Dr thank you

  • @TheKryptomane
    @TheKryptomane 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I appreciate your work very much, thank you for sharing and communicating Dr. Marks 🙏

  • @zecare
    @zecare 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you so much for everything you do, I am so happy you continued making content you are my favorite TH-camr/Influencer/Professional/Doctor 💜

  • @Iamladychandler
    @Iamladychandler 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I’m so glad I found your videos 💕💕💕

  • @mberlinger3
    @mberlinger3 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Your video quality is exceptionally!

  • @tinishawashington9110
    @tinishawashington9110 2 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    When growing up I never saw a black therapist I believe that if I would have saw you I would have sat in your chair and felt comfortable when I watch your videos I'm able to move forward that thank you for that

    • @zaya5360
      @zaya5360 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I don't want to be insulting, nor am I trying to start any fight but why does it matter that she's black?
      I think she's just a great therapist

    • @Jenny-ob3go
      @Jenny-ob3go 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Well she isn't a therapist. She is a psychiatrist. Big difference. She holds a doctorate degree.

    • @smithhamilton3024
      @smithhamilton3024 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@zaya5360 Your wording states otherwise.

    • @ThingCalledFate
      @ThingCalledFate 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@zaya5360 There are cultural and societal stressors that a Black therapist may understand on a more intimate level than a non-Black therapist. For example, If I had low self-esteem relating to the appearance of my kinky Afro-textured hair, a Black therapist may be more acquainted and empathetic about it. As they may have"walked a mile in my shoes".

  • @Fesgtrsa
    @Fesgtrsa 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am so thankful for your videos. Thank you so much Dr Marks! They have helped me so much.

  • @amberkeller4170
    @amberkeller4170 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Very helpful, straight forward info. Interesting to hear it laid out in easy to understand fashion. Thank you 😊

  • @fullofmoxe414
    @fullofmoxe414 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I absolutely LOVE this video!!! Now instead of having a materialistic manifestation board, I'm going to start a "psychological manifestation board"

  • @michelehaynes1112
    @michelehaynes1112 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I’m 52 and about to be divorce after a 20 year marriage. I have reached all these levels except the highest or I haven’t stayed there. I appreciate your insightful videos.

  • @lovelydaye6640
    @lovelydaye6640 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This pressed all my buttons today. Wow. Awesome content as usual ❤

  • @Mapnan31
    @Mapnan31 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    This was SO helpful!

  • @jaecarter503
    @jaecarter503 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    You save my life and I'm thankful for u god bless

  • @elanahammer1076
    @elanahammer1076 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is a good reminder. Thank you 🤔❤️🇺🇸

  • @BrijeshKumar4599
    @BrijeshKumar4599 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you for this video. I find the topic very useful.

  • @tammyg8031
    @tammyg8031 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    WOW, GREAT VIDEO. MAKES A LOT OF SENSE.!!!!!

  • @zadokprime4831
    @zadokprime4831 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    From my experience.... I've had to deal with people with self actualization realization/needs. They've felt stuck as opposed to myself.... I wouldn't have a problem with this except my peers problems become my problems.
    There's no help for this, save for a good old fashioned ass kicking. But I'm thankful for your insight.

    • @Tephiffany
      @Tephiffany 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Excellent point! I live this realization daily! I am exhausted discussing problems that can only be resolved by the other persons 5 needs (most are barely existing on level 2 or hovering around level 3) being met and THEN reaching the last 2 levels!

    • @marleyhill34
      @marleyhill34 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      In this scenario, I would expect a self-actualized person to respectfully set a boundary. "hey I know you are going through a hard time right now, but I've reached my emotional/mental/psychological/capacity limit to deal with your needs right now. I need time to recharge by doing x for x amount of time. However I can signpost you to this great therapist, support group, religious centre , community centre, trainer, gym, work coach, dating coach, book, Dr Marks psychologist on TH-cam and I'm sure that they will listen, validate and offer more support than I can right how." Source: Me: diagnosed with Borderline/Emotionally Unstable Personality disorder via 10 years in therapy.

  • @anaparedes269
    @anaparedes269 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thanks for this wonderful video and congratulations on you one million + subscribers!

  • @michelepascoe6068
    @michelepascoe6068 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Very encouraging video, thanks

  • @L33C333
    @L33C333 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I LOVE YOU DOCTOR TRACEY

  • @feliciahoffman700
    @feliciahoffman700 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Dr. Tracy. This helps alot!

  • @bamtuesdays
    @bamtuesdays 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thank you Dr Tracey 💕

  • @alinecardoso9668
    @alinecardoso9668 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    My noticiário right now is finding a new job, but on the flip side, something happened in my old job, so I think that I may have been struggling to show my skills in a better way.

  • @tonebone2895
    @tonebone2895 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Another excellent video! Thank you for your work Dr. Marks. I never understood why sex is/was a part of the very bottom tier in some diagrams. I feel like sex is not a necessity like food, shelter etc.

    • @t3hsis324
      @t3hsis324 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Id argue it's a biological need. You can get by without it, but it honestly helps keep one balanced.

    • @marleyhill34
      @marleyhill34 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      Sexual acts on one's own have a positive effect on the nervous system. Sexual acts with others, foster a sense of belonging, safety, security and of course intimacy. If the sexal act leads to pregnancy and the birth of children, that fosters another sense of belonging and security and safety. You can of course do this in a more artificial way but that was the traditional way of doing it. Modern society means people can connect and relax without sex hence the rise of asexuality. Currently I have very little desire for sex but I can find other ways of connecting and relaxing.

    • @helengibbs3153
      @helengibbs3153 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It is from a society perspective. I would call it reproduction rather than sex.

  • @chantananim6729
    @chantananim6729 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Quick intro quick outro! Love it!

    • @DrTraceyMarks
      @DrTraceyMarks  2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I like jumping straight in!

  • @camilamarti2488
    @camilamarti2488 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    You’re so awesome thank you for being such a wonderful intelligent informative queen!! I recommend your videos all the time. You have helped me and so many others so much!!!!

  • @selfhelpchampion9664
    @selfhelpchampion9664 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thanks Dr.Mark, will repost at our blog selfhelpchampion 🙏🙏

  • @GENERALWACKASS
    @GENERALWACKASS 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Thak you. Ive never been more greatful of therapists than in my life the last couple years

  • @jbrown8918
    @jbrown8918 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you. I've experience lots of change and loss over the past 10 years. This explains a lot. It also gives an elevated direction for area of focus and next steps. Really good, thanks again.

  • @scandicgamer3071
    @scandicgamer3071 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I think these things also do come with experience in life and where you are depending on age. Like I’m still working on the second part. But really right now just want to get to the third with belonging and I’m only 19 still in high school trying to work on some of my personal mental issues. This is very well described and I truly wish I could talk to a therapist that was as insightful and analytical as you

  • @Weirdkauz
    @Weirdkauz 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    Ha! First time ever I'm among the most accomplished! Every single characteristic is me, I'm good… still I struggle with trust and bonding-issues, and also, I suspect I'm only good as long as my hypomania holds…

  • @tylabrinkmanship3605
    @tylabrinkmanship3605 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    God I wish I could show this to my doctor and few other …. I tried so hard…wish u where close to me in Chicago

  • @dsfleadership
    @dsfleadership 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you this is such valuable information and a great summary for steps to move forward in your goals.