something to keep in mind: you can and should call out toxic behavior from other women but don’t let your criticism or even dislike slip into misogyny. this is all too common tbh. everyone’s a feminist until there’s a woman they don’t like, then they start using misogynistic rhetoric.
Straight relationship: "Where do you want to eat?" "I don't know. Where do you want to eat?" LGBTQIA relationship: "Where do you want to eat?" "I don't know. Where do you want to eat?"
As a bisexual woman, I’d like to also point out that the “bisexuality is having very high standards for men but finding every woman beautiful and perfect” jokes and tropes are SO invalidating of our sexuality, simplistic, unfunny and just overall annoying as fuck. I’m definitely not attracted to just about any woman, I have high standards for both men and women
My girlfriend's ex girlfriend was such a horrible woman, she abused my girlfriend, cheated on her *multiple* times, lied and manipulated her, and also tried to sexually assault her, She also supported her friends that were outed as rapists. But when my girlfriend tried to tell some of her ex's friends about it, many didn't really believe her because "well she's a girl too, it must be just a misunderstanding". Not everyone believed her, many believed some of what she said but refused to believe that a woman can sexually assault another. This whole situation really fucked my GF up, and we're still working together on healing that wound, even tho it happened 2 years ago.
We are all for 'listening to the victim' untill it clashes with our own agenda. I hope your girlfriend recovers from this trauma, and that one day people will stop invalidating survivors on the basis of their abuser's gender.
@@alinashirinian2485 exactly! It's so fucked up. Just because "statistically" there are less abusers who are women (probably because many cases of abuse like this aren't reported) doesn't mean that it doesn't happen and that "women just can't abuse". Anyone of any gender, sexuality, or whatever, can abuse anyone of any gender, sexuality, etc. Thank you for your comment, she is doing better now 💖
OMG THANK YOU! Calling out toxic behavior is NOT misogyny. This is amazing. As someone who has suffered from abuse from other women this is very much something I think so many people need to hear. This means a lot to me, and I’m sure it means the same to others as well. Thank you Emily❤️
I feel like the reason some people might feel like calling out toxic behaviors of a woman would be misogynistic is that like the misogynistic double standard situation where if man did xyz he would get a pass/get away with it, but if a woman were to do the same thing she would get backlash for it. But at the same time, we should hold people accountable for their actions no matter what their gender is.
fr tho, as a feminist this has always pissed me off. acting like women are angels who would never do anything sexually perverse, violent, or even just toxic IS sexist. men and women are equal, saying "women are better than men" is sexist towards both men and women!!
@@Crabernacker Infantilizing is exactly what I was thinking. If we say women can't cause as much harm as men, to me that's saying that women aren't fully capable adults. Which goes against the very definition of feminism meaning that men and women are equally capable. But this point seems to get drowned out by the loud ones.
I have a PhD in sociology and a bachelor’s in biology. It is not possible to be sexist against men. Claiming such asinine ignorance is a great way to present a complete inability to look past one’s own nose and at the world around them. Misandry does not have the systemic, trans-historic, institutionalized, and legislated antipathy of misogyny. The hatred of a ruling class by an oppressed class doesn't have the power as when that hatred is expressed the other way around. Obviously. The concepts I’m discussing only require a basic understanding of our society’s hierarchical social systems. I have several books on the topic I can recommend for those who are not content with incomprehension. I’m begging you all to read actual books.
@@Jo-ds3xv Sexism can be directed at both genders. I won't talk about systemic sexism since it differs from one country to another. But within individuals, a woman can be sexist toward men as much as a mam can be sexist toward women.
(tw // SA) the amount of sapphics that get abused by other women is crazy. and it's not just other sapphics in domestic violence situations either, a lot are straight women that know no one will have our backs as we're one of the most oppressed groups and "women aren't abusers". i knew way too many girls growing up that were SA/r*ped by another girl and couldn't speak up for fear of getting outed in retaliation or dismissed. (it was usually by family members or close friends). and that's not even getting into verbal and emotional abuse. whenever people act like having a space with just women is automatically a safe space I get pissed because not adding further safe guards is literally putting people in danger!!
omfg exactly I saw this girl talking abt how her older sister SAed her and about how how much she hates her for it and people immediately tried to shift the sympathy to the sister like...do yall even care abt how that must make her feel to see people instantly shift the focus to her attacker
growing up with lesbian parents, people always made comments like, “you’re so lucky,” “i wish i had two moms,” or “it must be so easy.” i mean, i love my parents and all, but it wasn’t the glitter and rainbows that everyone seemed to think it was. i feel like a lot of people expect that gay parents=perfect parenting, but they have the same flaws that everyone else does.
Hi makenna: I'm fairly new to this channel. Is Emily a lesbian? When did she come out? Most of her other videos seem to involve men. Thanks if you can help.
@@Meleedroit Well, I haven't watched every one of her videos but I don't think I've seen one where she is specifically interested in women. But men... "Flirting with my horse boyfriend"... ""The hunt for my perfect man"..."Yikes - Hot Instagram Boys are at it again" etcetera.
Thank you for making this ! I’m not sure if this will make sense, but I feel like another downside to this mindset is that sometimes when men see women doing something bad, they use it as an excuse to say feminism is wrong because their definition is that all woman can do no harm.
I see it constantly. IT seems most anti-feminism is just pointing out women doing bad things that hurt men. Essentially they are arguing "My wife cheated on me therefore women don't deserve equality!" Admittedly there are a lot of places where it is just women talking about men doing bad things to women and people call it feminism, but that exists alongside more intelligent forms of feminism, so...
The thing is, misogyny will exist even if feminism wasn’t as popular as it’s gotten, feminism is a good thing. I think we shouldn’t blame feminism as the problem. In fact, Misogyny IS the reason that women are seen as harmless, because women have been so infantilized by men ( especially white women ) that there’s a bias that exists, because of misogyny. Men see women as weak and inferior to this day, that’s what causes this phenomenon. Working together to get rid of misogyny, in all its forms, will be beneficial for everyone. ( which is obviously what feminism is about )
Exactly! Treating women as if they can do no wrong is just a different way of patronizing them. Any time we deny people's potential to do good OR evil directly on the basis of gender or sex, we are taking away the ability of seeing them as capable of human nuance. Which is SEXIST.
Another thing that kind of mindset perpetuates is the whole “we lost a lesbian” or “we lost a woman” when someone comes out as a trans man. The fact that they’re not a woman/lesbian anymore and now a “terrible awful man” makes a lot of trans men feel like garbage, or keeps them in the closet.
It’s mostly TERFs with this sort of mindset. The amount of gay people vastly outnumber the amount of trans people. And what exactly have these people “lost”? Why do they care? If someone came out as gay, you’d never say “Congratulations, but where are all the straight women going?” Like wtf
Yes when in fact that man must've dealt with both sides that opposite genders have to go through the man had lots of sexist and misogynistic experiences before he transitioned
Yes yes and YES. I’m not trans but I had a horrible ex-friend who forced me out of the closet when I thought I was straight. I asked “am i a horrible person because I’m straight?” And she responded with “yes.” She would always say things like kill all men and glorified my mother’s abusing and cheating on my father as “oh my god feminist queen 😍” stabbed azealia banks, and forced me to out myself as lesbian early. I even identified as bi/pan for a while while I was sexually confused so she wouldn’t berate me. People like that are horrible and make you horrible.
This video means a lot to me as a man. I’m trans and while beginning my transition I was in an abusive relationship and it was honestly wild watching people slowly stop caring about the abuse I experienced because once I was seen as “more male” the less a woman’s wrongs mattered, some people even laughed when she hit me. I’ve been told by female peers and even teachers that what happened to me matters less because it’s not as statistically common (although studies show otherwise). It’s made it really hard to connect to my female peers the same way I used to because this trauma was very real and I’m still working to undo it and it doesn’t help when I see my peers see similar situations and laugh, and then I’m supposed to believe they take my situation seriously? And I can’t open up to a lot of men because some of them will try to “red pill” me and use my experience to try to push some misogynistic bullshit onto me. I feel betrayed by the community I once was a part of and I’m sorry if it’s a trauma dump but seeing a woman with a platform use it to have an honest conversation like this, given what the popular opinion is is very refreshing and I thank you.
I can't believe the dudes that try to use men not getting taken seriously when women abuse them as fuel for their misogyny. How do they not understand that the reason those men are invalidated is because people see women as so weak that they can't possibly be sources of trauma and abuse? Then again I do think it's a different kind of misogyny from like, Traditional Misogyny(TM) where men are supposed to be stoic, emotionless robots and women are supposed to be weak and fragile. I think these men think that women have all the power and they're the victims of societal injustice instead.
Anyone who says misandry isn’t a real thing is a joke. Men are oppressed in their own way. As a society, we need to start calling everyone out on the wrongs they do, and not on the gender they are. We need to understand that we all have issues and we must meet in the middle in order to achieve true equality. Generalizations are bad whichever way they go. I am a woman with many male and female friends and I have seen women and men alike hurt them in ways that could have ruined their lives. Wether in toxic friendships, abusive relationships, or family related issues, it is all something that matters. I think it’s insanely unfair that nowadays all women must be blindly believed with no proof, and men are to be ridiculed when they do the same. Men take their lives more often than we do in many places, and that should already say a lot about our modern day society. It’s sad.
@@oatmeallemons9676 very true. And unfortunately I think the “women can do no wrong” mentality fuels those kinds of men. There have been studies that show that around 50+% of men experience abuse in their relationships. So if the majority of men and the majority of women experience abuse from one another then maybe the issue is that we live in a toxic shitty culture. Obviously the patriarchy makes seeking help difficult for women and there’s the physical strength aspect that does make things different, however, abuse is abuse regardless. But a lot of men experience abuse and having a “women do no harm” mentality can push men down dangerous roads lead by bozos like Andrew Tate who only want to get money out of them, leaving them broken men no better than they were before. I see a lot of women take on toxic traits and view it as empowerment but I don’t think the goal of the gender equality movement should be for women to be as toxic as men because that toxic masculinity is what got us into this mess. The gender equality movement should be about removing the toxicity on all sides and holding everyone accountable.
@@ya_miami you’re very kind! I’m in a better place than I was before, I was diagnosed with PTSD and CPTSD and having that knowledge has helped me get proper help for my trauma. It’s been hard seeing how some conversations are had but Emily and you guys, her community, are genuinely bringing tears to my eyes for being receptive to my perspective because others have not been. 🥹
im honestly really scared to talk to people about this cause im scared I will word it wrong and people will think I'm sexist but you said this so well oh my god...sl- slay?
yes i was definitely hesitant to talk about this because i don’t want people to think i’m anti-feminist in any way… it can be a touchy topic and people tend to disregard nuance and only view things as black and white! but thank you for watching! :D
Dude here, I don't talk about this stuff out loud cuz don't want to sound misogynistic either, I always saw it as upto women if they want to call out other women when they do sth wrong to men, but it's kind of eye opening seeing even women are scared of talking about this without looking misogynistic
As a bisexual women who has been hurt by men and women...but more women (I don't know why thats the case but thats the truth) being told by people that women can do no wrong is really hurtful
Thank you for this, especially the objectification part. What we should be doing as women (and men too!) is building a world where people don't treat you differently based on your looks. People complain a lot about pretty privilege but then turn around and feed into it by focusing only on their or other's looks. Self objectification helps no one, it just continues what men have been doing to us for years.
@@nothing-jl2dz yeah. Tiktok is the place where 'pretty privilege' went viral. Everyone was complaining about it, everyone was a victim of it etc. But then they go on to make fun of every little flaw a person has, even things that aren't really flaws. If someone says something they don't like then they start calling them ugly, or fat, or (for men) saying they have a small... you know what. I believe in disregarding a person's looks and assessing their character/behaviour instead. *That* will tell you more about who they are.
self objectification doesnt harm *you* because women are not all the same. you are not me. if i want to be a slut, that does not mean you have to be. and if you want to start telling me i cant act how I want because *you* feel insecure about it then you have to cope. any women telling another woman how to live is not being a feminist.
@@colorblockpoprocks6973 @colorblockpoprocks6973 'being a slut' does not equal sexual objectification, idk how you came to that conclusion. And self objectification does affect other women. It literally looks no different from objectification done by others/men. It still leads to an environment where women are heavily sexualized (in non sexual situations), dehumanised, and dismissed. Yes it's your choice, you're free to do what you want but you can't run away from a civil discussion about your choices. "Any woman telling another what to do is not a feminist" Please point out where I told you what to do. Also, not all choices are valid and okay because a woman is the one making it.
I think that’s just the difference between womens feminism and mens feminsim actually. And the latter was mainly pushed by older women to stop the narrative that sex is just for men and women are simply vessels to make they man happy. Don’t know why teenagers decided to hop along that train though. 💀💀Most modern feminism lately talks more about body autonomy, sexual assault, domestic violence and things actively effecting womens lives.
This reminded me of when GTA6 was announced and it was revealed that one of the main characters was a woman, and a lot of guys on the internet (well, at least on Reddit) made the argument that it didn't make sense for a woman to be a main character in a game "about violent crime" because "women aren't violent"
this is SUCH a good point. i really do think that there can come a point where “reclaiming” something negative that’s directed towards you can just come full circle into self-deprication, often because you actually believed the hurtful things said about you. not even just with actual discrimination but also with more general bullying and mean nicknames/words/ideas
Thank you for this video! Here's my take on the "women supporting women" movement: I think there's a baseline level of respect we should have for every woman (or everyone in general), such as not being misogynistic, bigoted, etc. But if a woman does something really bad, we shouldn't support her for it. We should hold her accountable for it without using misogyny to do so. I support all women in the way that they all deserve to be free from misogyny/patriarchy, but beyond that we shouldn't support women who do really bad things.
As a trans woman who’s had to live as a guy for 20 years now while only just becoming fully conscious of my identity this past year, THANK YOU for this video! I grew up surrounded by this toxic mindset and suffered far more problems in my childhood than I feel I needed to from the constant media’s messaging of “girls are inherently good and pure, while guys are not to be trusted etc…” among other sexist ideas both ways while simultaneously being bullied during elementary school for being feminine and trying to fit in with girl groups. It made me more and more afraid to form friendships with girls growing up because I became more terrified at the thought of myself being seen as someone they’d be uncomfortable around. I can’t even imagine how trans men must be feeling about this discourse, let alone cis people in general. I’ve had to work for a long time to confront the sexist stereotypes and messages that were shoved onto me back then and still trying to overcome the trauma that experience gave me. There’s no way in HELL that I’d let that mindset carry over in my transition and make the same mistakes. Once again Emily, thank you for this video. You really are like an internet big sister to me!
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. I always suspected that this mindset is especially damaging to trans people, adding another layer of shame on top of dysphoria. I've seen women make jokes that trans men are 'traitors', and the women who made these jokes were considering themselves allies... I hope you will be in a better place soon and I wish you best luck in your transition journey! ❤️
@@alinashirinian2485 Thank you so much Alina for your kind words! ❤️ I’m sorta in a better place now, but I still have a long way to go haha! Lots of inner demons I still have to face, but I wanna overcome them. I hope you’re doing well too, sis.
Trans people get to experience what I call Extra Spicy sexism. When you're viewed as a woman people don't take you seriously because of misogyny. When you're seen as a man people don't take you seriously because of toxic masculinity. Trans women often have experices like yours, and Trans men can grow up with the trauma of misogyny, only to then be told to shut up about it because "men are the problem/untrustworthy/mansplaining" and be shut out of their own communities for "joining the enemy." Sexism hurts Trans people so bad, you just can't win. I don't mean to sound so gloomy, being trans is wonderful too and I love it when people can be their true selves. Good luck OP, we can fight this!! 💪❤
I have already made another comment, but i'd like to share a story that shows how women can be bad too, just like men: Women can sexually harass men too, and you know what's scary about it? everyone expects you to enjoy it. I was in my last year of high school and something happend. A classmate for whatever reason started to act in a very innapropriate way with me, i think it was after a day where she, with some of her friends, asked me about my sexuality (i wasn't close to any of them). Suddenly everytime she'd pass by my desk she'd pull my hair, touch me, grab my butt and things of the sort... and i barely even knew her. I didn't feel lucky like many would say i should feel, and i didn't feel male priviledge and strength at that moment, i just felt scared, because i couldn't tell anyone what was happening to me because i was afraid of judgement, because people would be like "what? you're not into a girl touching you? you're supposed to like it, always", i also couldn't confront her because i was scared of her too, and scared of the people she walked with, because they could be very sketchy. Anyway... i ended up not doing anything about it, i just told my mom and my sister who were just shocked at what the girl was doing, but i didn't wanna make a fuss about it cause i did not want everyone to know... So... yeah, women/girls can be gross too, and that can happen with a man or a boy! and a man won't just feel powerful because they're men in situations like that either, we can also feel scared even if we are physically stronger, we can also feel stuck and like we can't do anything about it, sometimes even more stuck than a woman because society won't even acknowledge what happened to us as something real, 'cause A LOT, if not MOST people think men can't be sexually abused by women, they don't think it does any real harm to us and also often think we should enjoy it.
that’s so terrible and disgusting, I am so deeply sorry. No one deserves that and your trauma is valid and abuse is still abuse regardless of the gender of your abuser. I hope you are in a better place these days ❤
woah I never expected 2 videos back to back in less than a week from Emily ! it's an honour to be able to see this occurrence as an old Emily stan (Emilanian)
@@clownRatcityActually, if you read a lot of BL (Boys Love) stories (mostly written by women for women btw), they usually romanticize very toxic relationships. There's always that dominating top who will harass and r@pe the bottom, but don't worry, he secretly likes it because his dick is hard. 🤨 And it always ends in a happy ending with the top never facing repercussions. Lmao
This belief of "Girls are Good and Pure" really affected me because as a boy I was mainly bullied by girls and it made me feel bad because I could not defend myself and their comments made me develop scarring insecurities that are lattent today.
I also went through that. I was bullied heavily by both girls and boys, and when the whole "Women can do no wrong #slay" thing started to get popular, I started to simply repress those memories instead of dealing with them because I didn't know how to process them. It's a long journey to heal from bullying, and I haven't fully recovered my self-esteem yet, but I'm getting better and I wish you the best of luck
Fr, mate. I can't understand how would anyone think that. Girls are capable of being bad as boys are capable. My school did nothing about bullying but at least acknowledged boy bullies and was like "Oh, yeah he is a bully, ok 😴". Yet, they didn't even acknowledge the obvious girl bullies and were like "Huh? Nah She can't be a bully 😴".
Emily, i wanna thank you so much for this. I am a woman who was sexually abused by another woman when i was 18 and a lot of people didn't really give it the importance it had when i told them, which was way different than their reactions when i told them about similar situations with men. Women can be bad people too, and pretending that this is not real just to endorse your white girlboss "feminist" narrative is ridiculous.
I completely agree. My ex gfs didn't abuse me but every single bad manager I've had has been female, aside from one guy with major communication issues. Everyone has the potential to be terrible. Really!
this hit home. i get anxiety around women after a history of bullying as a kid/teen and recently i made friends with my bf's sister and we hugged and i bawled my eyes out when she left. female respect/kinship is on another level, just like bullying.
I'm so glad to see a woman speak about this. I've been feeling and thinking the same. I have been in abusive relationships with women as a man. I'm not saying that dudes arent bad but sometimes I've had people gas light me or choose not to believe me just because I'm a man... that really hurts
this is so real because it's like,,,,even when a woman is doing like one of the worst things ever like SA or abuse or any number of other heinous things it's not taken as seriously and not only do I think it's part of the female empowerment thing but also misogyny because how can people see women do these horribly violent and cruel things and ultimately just be like "oh well it's not that bad" without thinking women are inherently weaker, especially in cases where the victim is a man, somehow female empowerment has managed to make misogyny an even deeper rooted problem and idk who fucked up that badly but yikes
I have heard the rhetoric that women couldn’t ever hurt me the way that men can often. I am lesbian, and since I know a lot of people who have been abused physically, sexually, and emotionally, that is something I am actively afraid of. I was talking to my (straight) therapist about that fear, and she tried to comfort me by basically telling me that that couldn’t happen because I don’t like men. I know it was an attempt to comfort me, but it was also a really weird way to do so. The main difference between my relationships and the abusive relationships I have seen friends be in isn’t the lack of men. Hopefully, it is a foundation of self love and a support network that can help me see early signs of abuse, and leave the relationship before it gets to that point.
I was bullied to shit as a kid, and mostly by other girls. It has led to me having a lot of distrust towards other girls and feeling more comfortable around guys. I understand that women as a whole aren’t to blame for what happened to me, but that doesn’t change the trauma I have. It gets really frustrating to hear people talk about how much they hate men and then have those same people turn around and criticize me for having a hard time trusting women.
Something that wasn't brought up in the video that I think is important to this discussion is the hatred for trans people. I've noticed that a lot of the people who support this misconstrued feminism treat trans women as predators and trans men as traitors. This "feminism" harms many marginalized groups and it's incredibly important to talk about it's range.
Intersectional feminism is the best type of feminism. I agree. I’ve heard so called feminists not validate trans ppl. See trans women as still men and trans men as still women, be less inclined to sympathize with a black women in an abusive relationship etc. this isn’t feminism. It’s white women feminism. (It only benefits them that’s why they call it that)
Being bisexual is hard as well. Lots of women will overlook you for fraternizing with the devil and men think it’s an open relationship from the start 😿 forever alone is alright with me.
thank you for making this. i hate how this happens so commonly, and not only does it hurt men but it also hurts the women you're *supposed* to be empowering? how can you empower and bring down women at the same time 💀 also i always think i'm sexist by bringing up these things because i'm told that i have no room to say anything as a man, and i even feel like i betrayed women by being trans when that's not something you can control... i just wish that everything was normal. i wish misogynists and misandrists will die out and everyone can live happily together with no issues like this. it's an unrealistic fantasy, but i can wish.
True. It is like saying I am supporting Margorie Taylor Green because because she is a woman despite her policies or supporting MLMs like Beach Body because they say "Be a girl boss/boss babe" despite the horrendous failure rate and questionable products. Ethical questions cannot be forgone for the sake of "women supporting women."
I’ve had sexual trauma from women, and I’m a trans man. And continually, people have told me that it didn’t happen, and that I’m not trans and I’m a lesbian and that I liked it. Thanks for this video, man
I don't say I'm a feminist anymore because most people will assume I'm one of those women who has a warped perception on actual feminism. People, often misogynists, mistake feminism with matriarchy. Feminism gave women the ability to make their own choices while a matriarchy is basically a patriarchy but women are 'on top'.
The only woman that viewed feminism as you claim is Erin Pizzey and feminists as a whole destroyed her when daring to notice that women commit as much domestic violence than men when working inside her own anti-violence center. Equality my ass. And then women wonder why men retreat more and more away from relationships
@@stefanoputignano1555there were plenty of women rather than her. None of the gender is god or smthng both are humans both have the capability to be bad people. I guess before men were on top so their bad deeds took place more often but now as women are becoming equal to men we are seeing that women also have the potential to be bad people the difference is that back in old times they did not have that "freedom" i guess. I don't know the exact word for that i am sorry. But as a society we should condemn bad deeds done by both genders. And i think women biased laws should change. Women are human too they will take advantage of those laws same as men took advantage of their power in old times. Women can be as bad as men. (Not in physical terms but still behaviour wise). Also alot of female killers are also not caught bcoz of this notion of society.
This "women are always good and men are always bad" thing is a major gateway to terf beliefs. This is a core tenet of terf beliefs because the logic goes "women are always good and men are always bad" -> "this is either some inherent biological thing OR it's about socialization which happens when you're very young and can never be undone" -> "trans people can never be their gender because they were born either the good gender or the bad gender and they stay that way forever. if they were born the bad gender than they're just pretending to be the good gender, which makes them evil liars, and if they were born the good gender then they're trying to become the bad gender, which makes them evil traitors". there are a lot more problematic beliefs that come out of that but this really vile form of transphobia is a big one
It's also sometimes very harmful for men in relationships with toxic partners or even with partners who will casually say harmful things about men overall. It's hurtful when I've heard my partners in the past say things like "cis straight men just ain't for me/suck/are inadequate partners" and when asked if I wasn't making them happy or if I should change some behaviors I'd be dismissed as "too sensitive" or "I'm not talking about YOU". And then there were times when a partner would hurt me and I'd have to end a relationship and discuss things with female friends of mine and there wouldn't really be any support for me and excuses for my partner's behavior because "women support women" and "why would I help a man".
thank you so much for this! As a bi woman I've had people do the whole "well, you must have been faking being bi because you left a woman and then later ended up with a man, and clearly it can't be that you and your ex actually just didn't work out because how could two women just not work out" - like no, I left one person that I had a terrible relationship with and then later dated another person who I have an amazing relationship with - that's all that happened
I appreciate what your sentiment at 6:51 _"Holding women accountable is closer to gender equality."_ Because I feel like women not only support women's rights, but their wrongs as well too often. Which is not equality but gynocentrism. But gynocentrism is also most of the criticisms I have of this video. For me it is sad that you need to sell the idea of not supporting women being toxic and problematic as "It isn't good for us, it isn't good optics." (Like with 0:06, 0:30, & 2:11) instead of admitting that women have a collective issue with holding other women accountable. While taking leaps and bounds to not admit that men in general do not deserve it and you should do better. 1:36 Nice that you gave a second thought about mentioning how men it feeds into a misandric mentality in the caption on the side.(without saying it.) But you have to mention how it probably is because "men are so bad." Which is ironically there to justify and defend women's toxic behaviors. 0:52 "The badness we see from men is fundamental and systemic. That there is a different level to negativity." Except there isn't any the reason you believe womsn have it so much worse is gynocentrism and the unwillingness to hear about men's issues. Because of gynocentrism. I know that sounds like a whataboutism but the point is, men have just as much valid and important gender issues and no gender is exactly more better off. *ALSO MEN ARE NOT INHERENTLY MORE VIOLENT.* 5:29 "in reality men are statistically the ones more likely to harm women." Lesbian relationships are statistically the relationships with the most domestic violence with no close second. Also those statistics are skewed because of the Duluth Model. Which is a program used to get statistics on DM/IPV but blatantly believes verbatim "Men get violent because power and privilege, while women abuse out of trauma or defense." These classes also get money out of the men they have in their learning programs. A lot of special witness also use the Duluth Model as an example of statistics to convict more men. Which feeds into the cycle of ramping up more male DM convictions. Also relisten to Amber Heard tell Johnny Depp "Go ahead tell the world you were abused by a woman see who will believe or support you." Then tell me that wasn't her asserting power and privilege over Johnny. Before you say it wasn't feminist to support her. 130 feminist groups signed a petition in support of Amber Heard after the trial. This is actually a systematic problem. In fact 62% of parental physical abuse is mother and 70% of the victims is little boys. Infact research from Ph.D Murray Straus proved that most DM/IPV statistics is made up by feminist.(Not that I don't like feminism in general, just it needs to be called out.) Also his research indicates that the violence between genders is nearly equal. Flip flopping on which is more violent yearly. Then many professors including Sophie Goodchild have shown extensive data that women unquestionably initiate the vast majority of IPV.
As someone who was abused in a gay relationship and treated like I matter in a heterosexual one it’s too true. Just because men are the majority statistic for abuse doesn’t mean that women can’t and won’t. I hope that everyone who has been abused or treated poorly in a toxic relationship no matter the relationship (friends,gay,straight, etc) has found peace or is on the path of recovery ❤. Be safe everyone and you are worth it and your feelings and trauma are valid even if someone else had it “worse”. Trauma is trauma no matter the severity
skittle squad is definitely a new euphemism of the lgbtq+ community. i love it. personally partial to the alphabet mafia i definitely think that the "women can do no wrong" mindset stems from a bioessentialist understanding of how humans operate.
I'm a bi guy and most of my experiences with men have been very sweet and "normal", I guess. It's probably my approach to dating and how I tend to date good friends. I know gay guys who have been manipulated by other men in relationships, so I know very well that straight relationships aren't just inherently "disgusting" and that it all depends on the individual people involved. Also, the "don't you have a passion for being sexy" part made me laugh so hard hahahaha
Thank you so much for this video! This is something that's been on my mind for some years now. Especially after learning some people, mostly composed of women, were congratulating a woman who was arrested for murdering her 3 sons as she supposedly did that to "keep more bad men from existing". Though Laurren J. Courtney, Julia Lee Carter and Kimora Hodges, for example, never stated that as a drive to beat the young boys they were supposed to watch over to death (I'm not convinced it's not the drive), I know those same wackos would congratulate these monsters anyways. I had to find this out for myself, these cases aren't big enough to make it to Twitter trending or any actors speaking on it, etc., can barely even find fiction taking such as seriously. But a good chunk of us are against what women/girls do to harm others just as much as we do with men/boys, I don't even care about the numbers, they don't even count everybody over the centuries. I simply want to care. Again, thank you.
it makes me smile when i see emily addressing toxic femininity. Misandry and delusion in society gets cloaked as merit and i dont think wrong to point out some of those flaws :)
It's crazy how even using the phrase "toxic femininity" has been labelled as sexist by misandrists although "toxic masculinity" gets thrown around all the time
It's also worth pointing out that most cases of child abuse are actually from mothers and not fathers, but you would be shocked on how often courts whether it is the US or the UK kind of make excuses for some of these cases.....
@@Username-wh2ij Uh not really, it's more of the "women are wonderful" rather than "the patriarchy" since the former actively encourages by the feminist movement for the sake of power....look at Amber Heard. I mean in the Middle East a mostly patriarchal area, if a woman does murder their child...then she'll get stoned.
@@Username-wh2ij And somehow they still can't realise that the thing that caused they problems is not feminisum, or women, but the thing that they uphold.
My sister is very abusive to everyone when her ex came out of and said what she had done to him people asked what he did and were confused on why the rest of my family was standing with him. No one deserves that.
how do you get prettier every video. like that sounds so cliche but BRO the hair style?? the hair colour?? the glasses?? the earrings?? absolutely killing it as always
Thank you for this video! I can see that this video is targeted exactly to the people who need to listen to it, btw, so that's great! Though i must say it feels kinda weird to not be the target of this message and be watching it :') But yeah i think this idolization of women is getting out of hand :/ and i know it's important to say how this affects women themselves, but it's also good to say how it affects the rest. When you behave with that "women are perfect and men suck" mentality you also affect a lot of men who aren't even doing anything wrong... and i think that also affects their self-esteem. For example, some men might start to distrust when a woman has feelings for him, or not really believe that women feel any attraction towards men because of how many women out there just constantly say that men suck and are horrible and that they would rather be a lesbian than have to get into any contact with men. This mentality also affect men in a sense that horrible acts commited by women against men will be even more ignored, like rape, pedophilia and physical violence. Basically in todays society there's a culture that says two things: 1- men always want to have sex. 2- if they don't they're not real men or they're gay (or both). That makes people not acknowledge that rape by women against men because they think that if a man has a boner that means consent (which is not true), and they just overall think a man can't be raped by a woman, only by another man. Also if you're a man and a woman touches you innapropriately you're supposed to like it. Always. And that also ties into the fact that boys are also always supposed to want it, if you're a teenager and an adult woman wants to be involved with you people think you're *lucky* and are not freaked out by the fact that a grown woman wants to be with a teenager or a boy... and if the boy/teen does not want it they're, again, not a real man or gay. I think we should talk more about these kinds of things so they can stop being a thing :T
"The one thing that really frustrates me is this idea that women are innately good, innately nurturing. People will dismiss trampy, vampy, bitchy types - but there's still a big pushback against the idea that women can be just pragmatically evil, bad, and selfish." In 2015, Flynn explained her decision to write cruel female characters, saying, "I've grown quite weary of the spunky heroines, brave rape victims, soul-searching fashionistas that stock so many books. I particularly mourn the lack of female villains - good, potent female villains." - Gillian Flynn, author of Gone Girl
Interestingly enough, I came across this video right after I watched a doc that featured probably ones of the most heinous women that abused and killed their children. I want to hope no one would ever say these women "slayed" as thankfully the society as a whole tends to think child murder is inexcusable. However... something tells me that if those women were younger and conventionally attractive there would indeed be some "smart" people who'd find bullshit excuses for their crimes.
A perfect example of this on ur channel is the trolling on omegle video. i belive you were talking about "killing ur ex" w other girls. they were hyping you up and planning a plan for "murdering him". honestly watching that part gave me the chills. also if i man said something like that people, most specifically women, would say stuff like "OMG JAIL" "andrew tate vibes haha" "ew men". bro 🤦♀️
Getting a bit personal for a sec, I was sexually assaulted by an afab person, and then after spending time online I went into my “hot era” and boiled myself down to a pretty face and my sex appeal as an afab person and put myself in a lot of uncomfortable situations as I started to feel it was my only worth as a person. Women hyped me up for it, and in tandem with the assault it really got in my head, and caused a lot of damage.
as a girl, i 100% agree with this video. I spent two years of my life being severely bullied by people at my school, and only one of the kids who bullied me more often than others was a guy, most were girls. I know firsthand how cruel women can be, not every single one is a saint.
there is a movement in romance snd YA that says you should never writd bullying girls snd like... as an autistic woman... how else can i write life? because i've met maybe 7 women whodon't have bullying tendencies... at uni - where i was already being bullied and picked on - i got frozen out of the group when i called s girl out for cheating, and was told by others that it didn't matter who was right, i should support the girl over the guy... it's misogyny in its own right... judging a person's worth by their gender no matter their actions... utter BS...
i had a female friend who would never be on my side or consider my feelings if the person who wronged me is a woman, she would also excuse women cheating, when i called her out on it she dismissed it, she would also be progressive and conservative at the same time, she was very progressive when it came to feminism and women's rights, which I agreed with, but then say stuff along the lines of men providing and women nurturing, wanting to be a trophy wife and a lot of things that you'd probably only hear from an old man about how women should live, so yeah, needless to say that we're not friends anymore
The thing about loving mean or evil female characters is so true. I live characters like Heather from Total Drama and Heather Chandler (huh) from Heathers. However, in resl life, I dont support women and girls who are mean and bullies. Its one thing to like a character who is morally in the wrong but if you support that behavior in real life its a problem.
I used to be super supportive of EVERYTHING women did and do but suddenly i started seeing people cheering on shit like adultery and horrid shit. Thats when my mind changed, i think women are amazing and could do amazing things but im not going to support cheating, sleeping with lots of people at an incredibly young age and other shit. I support women starting businesses, standing up to bad shit, doing their own thing without NEEDING a man.
Thank you for shedding light on this topic, this needs to be talked about more, women should support women, but also women should call other women out on their bs 👏👏👏
I can just genuinely appreciate your presence online. My experiences with other women have unfortunately led me down a path of denying my attraction to them and even sometimes a bias against them, although I am female myself. It results in me not giving other women a chance when there wasn't *explicit* reason why I shouldn't, and also led me to believe that others saw me in the same way as I saw other women (annoying and holier-than-thou). It gives me a lot of social anxiety to even present as woman (especially one who is LGBT) due to the perceptions on my identities that I feel others sharing. There was and is a lot of self-hatred within me for many reasons stemming from those. I will be entirely upfront and say that I even hesitated to click on your videos at first because I wasn't sure if your content would have nuance, as I see many other femme content creators lacking it. Their content can often be an endless "girlboss fest" where men are evil and hypocrisy runs rampant, among plenty of other traits that I don't personally find entertaining or endearing or even ethical to be frank. But I'm working on my internalized misogyny. Trying to acknowledge that, indeed, women *can* see the humanity in everyone rather than paying too much attention to labels and division and performing to look better than others. You're a great example of showing that woman are also just human beings. Not gonna lie it's a hard growth journey, but thank you for helping people like me just by being you. PS: as someone who is heavy into the "bimbo movement", it's a coping mechanism in the same way that my gender-fluidity is a cope. I wouldn't have cared about finding my "self" outside womanhood if womanhood wasn't spoiled for me somehow to begin with. And it's valid. While I hold my bimbo trait in a little bit of an ironic way, like you mentioned, it's also something that I *am* proud of. My body and how I direct it is just as much "mine" as my thoughts and goals as a woman are "mine", so I don't think I should forego pride in my body for the sake of my mind being taken seriously. They are NOT mutually exclusive! (To say someone should do that would be to dictate how another woman should live in some way and that's not feminist. As I'm trying to learn, women are not a monolith and so one woman being more proud of her body does not mean that you should suddenly act like her. So you have no need to try and control how other women live.) But also especially because claiming myself as a bimbo is like when a guy sells their dick size short. You sound humble, then it's a wicked pleasant surprise if it's shown to be better than claimed, and also gives me the leeway to shut off my brain if I want to and not have people say something about it. Like "yeah, I'm dumb today. You want a medal for noticing *me* being stupid?" lol
In the past, (particularly in the old south) women were often considered simple-minded, delicate, and kind of just stupid. They weren't held responsible if they messed everything up or did something awful because it was just considered 'silly women things'. Keeping this mindset is the height of idiocy. That is not empowerment. That is invalidating women's sense and responsibility.
the amount of ppl who said 'being transmasc must b so ez' yet i get bullied, slandered, harassed, verbally abused and my dad hates me. its not the same as being gay but still
Enjoyed the video. Thought provoking. And the fact that you slipped that North Korea reference in is a bonus. Hope you won't be the recipient of one of Kim Yo Jong's fire and brimstone speeches.
I'm really glad you're opened to discuss both sides of this conversations, tbh.😊 It's important to discuss the awful things that happens in society and shouldn't, like misogyny. But it is also very important to talk nuances, at least when you're around people who are safe for you to be around. Otherwise, it can get pretty lonely, to only discuss what all of your friend group agree about, and not discuss things you feel different about.
BTW, there's a lot of DV in lesbian relationships. And because as a society we have this false belief that women can't be bad like that, women who are abused by a female partner often have difficulty getting the help that they need. In fact, female abusers will often follow their female victims to DV shelters and continue to abuse them there.
People you love are the people that can hurt you the easiest AND GENDER DOESN'T MATTER IN THAT CASE. Just cuz ur ✨️bestie✨️ would never hurt u, doesn't mean she wouldn't cheat, dismiss and abuse her girlfriend (or any partner i guess) during the same time 🗿
something to keep in mind: you can and should call out toxic behavior from other women but don’t let your criticism or even dislike slip into misogyny. this is all too common tbh. everyone’s a feminist until there’s a woman they don’t like, then they start using misogynistic rhetoric.
extremelyyyyyyy true
Dont show hate to women -- show your hate indiscriminately
i'm not a feminist and feel that avoiding that label allows me to stay true to my morals. 🤷♀️
@@adultdeleted feminism stands for equality tho
@adult deleted you really said "i’m not a feminist so i can get away with being misogynistic" 😭
This reminds of a tiktok caption I saw “Stop saying you’re gonna go gay because some guy broke your heart, I’ll treat you just as bad”
LOL
REAL 😍😍
I love that 😭
@@notevenemilyyou’re even prettier in glasses
@@notevenemilyyou’re my favorite TH-camr ever
Straight relationship:
"Where do you want to eat?"
"I don't know. Where do you want to eat?"
LGBTQIA relationship:
"Where do you want to eat?"
"I don't know. Where do you want to eat?"
It's funny when you consider this is how platonic friends have issues and arguments too and then someone says "you sound like a married couple."
*Corporate needs you to find the difference between these two images.*
*There is no difference.*
omg I'm a woman AND a terrible person!!!! so glad someone is spreading awareness about us, it means a lot not Emily 🥰
pls'&#;2&#;
You are valid. I support women’s rights and wrongs! /s
@@shirendjorgee9320 wait why are you being sarcastic? i was being serious im a wanted serial killer ☺️☺️☺️
@@quaccquacc9076 slayyy sis
@@quaccquacc9076 Omg, queen 🤩🤩🤩
As a bisexual woman, I’d like to also point out that the “bisexuality is having very high standards for men but finding every woman beautiful and perfect” jokes and tropes are SO invalidating of our sexuality, simplistic, unfunny and just overall annoying as fuck. I’m definitely not attracted to just about any woman, I have high standards for both men and women
as the other kind of bisexual, i have no standards for both 😎
@@Xysle godspeed
I thought i was like that but i realized i was just lesbian and was "attracted" to guys who looked like girls
Same. I know it's mostly a joke, but I'm like...some women can be racist, transphobic, etc. I want a woman who isn't that.
I always assumed the joke was that the woman was 99% gay but didn't want to admit it; though it can also be that "girls rule, boys drool" sentiment.
My girlfriend's ex girlfriend was such a horrible woman, she abused my girlfriend, cheated on her *multiple* times, lied and manipulated her, and also tried to sexually assault her, She also supported her friends that were outed as rapists. But when my girlfriend tried to tell some of her ex's friends about it, many didn't really believe her because "well she's a girl too, it must be just a misunderstanding". Not everyone believed her, many believed some of what she said but refused to believe that a woman can sexually assault another. This whole situation really fucked my GF up, and we're still working together on healing that wound, even tho it happened 2 years ago.
I'm sorry that happened to your girlfriend. I hope she is doing well.
We are all for 'listening to the victim' untill it clashes with our own agenda. I hope your girlfriend recovers from this trauma, and that one day people will stop invalidating survivors on the basis of their abuser's gender.
@@oscardepaz3063 thank you❤ she's doing a lot better now ❤
@@alinashirinian2485 exactly! It's so fucked up. Just because "statistically" there are less abusers who are women (probably because many cases of abuse like this aren't reported) doesn't mean that it doesn't happen and that "women just can't abuse". Anyone of any gender, sexuality, or whatever, can abuse anyone of any gender, sexuality, etc. Thank you for your comment, she is doing better now 💖
@@rx500android That's great to hear.
OMG THANK YOU! Calling out toxic behavior is NOT misogyny. This is amazing. As someone who has suffered from abuse from other women this is very much something I think so many people need to hear. This means a lot to me, and I’m sure it means the same to others as well. Thank you Emily❤️
yas
Yassssssssess girlll
same. Completely agree. I've literally been abused by women before. It just feels like people aren't listening to that.
@@yukiandkanamekuran that is absolutely true. It isn’t equality unless we ALL meet at the middle.
I feel like the reason some people might feel like calling out toxic behaviors of a woman would be misogynistic is that like the misogynistic double standard situation where if man did xyz he would get a pass/get away with it, but if a woman were to do the same thing she would get backlash for it. But at the same time, we should hold people accountable for their actions no matter what their gender is.
fr tho, as a feminist this has always pissed me off. acting like women are angels who would never do anything sexually perverse, violent, or even just toxic IS sexist. men and women are equal, saying "women are better than men" is sexist towards both men and women!!
Yes I agree. I also think that for some people, the core value of feminism, which is promoting gender EQUALITY has gone lost.
It's make it seem like women aren't humans incapable of feeling anger. Infantizing almost
@@Crabernacker Infantilizing is exactly what I was thinking. If we say women can't cause as much harm as men, to me that's saying that women aren't fully capable adults. Which goes against the very definition of feminism meaning that men and women are equally capable. But this point seems to get drowned out by the loud ones.
I have a PhD in sociology and a bachelor’s in biology. It is not possible to be sexist against men. Claiming such asinine ignorance is a great way to present a complete inability to look past one’s own nose and at the world around them. Misandry does not have the systemic, trans-historic, institutionalized, and legislated antipathy of misogyny. The hatred of a ruling class by an oppressed class doesn't have the power as when that hatred is expressed the other way around. Obviously.
The concepts I’m discussing only require a basic understanding of our society’s hierarchical social systems. I have several books on the topic I can recommend for those who are not content with incomprehension. I’m begging you all to read actual books.
@@Jo-ds3xv Sexism can be directed at both genders. I won't talk about systemic sexism since it differs from one country to another. But within individuals, a woman can be sexist toward men as much as a mam can be sexist toward women.
(tw // SA) the amount of sapphics that get abused by other women is crazy. and it's not just other sapphics in domestic violence situations either, a lot are straight women that know no one will have our backs as we're one of the most oppressed groups and "women aren't abusers". i knew way too many girls growing up that were SA/r*ped by another girl and couldn't speak up for fear of getting outed in retaliation or dismissed. (it was usually by family members or close friends). and that's not even getting into verbal and emotional abuse. whenever people act like having a space with just women is automatically a safe space I get pissed because not adding further safe guards is literally putting people in danger!!
omfg exactly I saw this girl talking abt how her older sister SAed her and about how how much she hates her for it and people immediately tried to shift the sympathy to the sister like...do yall even care abt how that must make her feel to see people instantly shift the focus to her attacker
are you trying to imply that straight women are somehow less supported than sapphics? what?
growing up with lesbian parents, people always made comments like, “you’re so lucky,” “i wish i had two moms,” or “it must be so easy.” i mean, i love my parents and all, but it wasn’t the glitter and rainbows that everyone seemed to think it was. i feel like a lot of people expect that gay parents=perfect parenting, but they have the same flaws that everyone else does.
Hi makenna: I'm fairly new to this channel. Is Emily a lesbian? When did she come out? Most of her other videos seem to involve men. Thanks if you can help.
@@grantmoore2515 I'm pretty sure she's either bisexual with a heavy lean towards women, or lesbian
@@Meleedroit Yes, you may be right it's just that she never indicated this before as far as I know. She always seemed only interested in men.
@@grantmoore2515 ? Dude in most of her videos I can recall, she's been interested in women
@@Meleedroit Well, I haven't watched every one of her videos but I don't think I've seen one where she is specifically interested in women. But men... "Flirting with my horse boyfriend"... ""The hunt for my perfect man"..."Yikes - Hot Instagram Boys are at it again" etcetera.
I feel like this idea that "women can do no wrong" is just another example of benevolent sexism
Nobody has ever said that women can do no wrong.
@@grantmoore2515 just say you haven't done research, it's less embarrassing than this
@@Meleedroit
😂😂😂😂😂😂
I love you!
@@grantmoore2515women are blamed for things they didn’t do and for what men have done
@@msunje9862Like what?
Thank you for making this ! I’m not sure if this will make sense, but I feel like another downside to this mindset is that sometimes when men see women doing something bad, they use it as an excuse to say feminism is wrong because their definition is that all woman can do no harm.
that’s a good point !!
I see it constantly. IT seems most anti-feminism is just pointing out women doing bad things that hurt men. Essentially they are arguing "My wife cheated on me therefore women don't deserve equality!" Admittedly there are a lot of places where it is just women talking about men doing bad things to women and people call it feminism, but that exists alongside more intelligent forms of feminism, so...
@@MrQuantumInc it sucks because it’s basically using male victims to push a weird misogynistic agenda
@@MrQuantumInc imagine being a victim of domestic abuse and then seeing some incel use your story to push their beliefs 😟😟
That’s horrifying
The thing is, misogyny will exist even if feminism wasn’t as popular as it’s gotten, feminism is a good thing. I think we shouldn’t blame feminism as the problem. In fact, Misogyny IS the reason that women are seen as harmless, because women have been so infantilized by men ( especially white women ) that there’s a bias that exists, because of misogyny. Men see women as weak and inferior to this day, that’s what causes this phenomenon. Working together to get rid of misogyny, in all its forms, will be beneficial for everyone. ( which is obviously what feminism is about )
Exactly! Treating women as if they can do no wrong is just a different way of patronizing them. Any time we deny people's potential to do good OR evil directly on the basis of gender or sex, we are taking away the ability of seeing them as capable of human nuance. Which is SEXIST.
Absolutely!
Another thing that kind of mindset perpetuates is the whole “we lost a lesbian” or “we lost a woman” when someone comes out as a trans man. The fact that they’re not a woman/lesbian anymore and now a “terrible awful man” makes a lot of trans men feel like garbage, or keeps them in the closet.
It’s mostly TERFs with this sort of mindset. The amount of gay people vastly outnumber the amount of trans people. And what exactly have these people “lost”? Why do they care? If someone came out as gay, you’d never say “Congratulations, but where are all the straight women going?” Like wtf
Terfs really think they’re being so “progressive & protective of women 🥺” when they say that
It’s also transphobic
Yes when in fact that man must've dealt with both sides that opposite genders have to go through the man had lots of sexist and misogynistic experiences before he transitioned
Yes yes and YES. I’m not trans but I had a horrible ex-friend who forced me out of the closet when I thought I was straight. I asked “am i a horrible person because I’m straight?” And she responded with “yes.” She would always say things like kill all men and glorified my mother’s abusing and cheating on my father as “oh my god feminist queen 😍” stabbed azealia banks, and forced me to out myself as lesbian early. I even identified as bi/pan for a while while I was sexually confused so she wouldn’t berate me. People like that are horrible and make you horrible.
This video means a lot to me as a man. I’m trans and while beginning my transition I was in an abusive relationship and it was honestly wild watching people slowly stop caring about the abuse I experienced because once I was seen as “more male” the less a woman’s wrongs mattered, some people even laughed when she hit me. I’ve been told by female peers and even teachers that what happened to me matters less because it’s not as statistically common (although studies show otherwise). It’s made it really hard to connect to my female peers the same way I used to because this trauma was very real and I’m still working to undo it and it doesn’t help when I see my peers see similar situations and laugh, and then I’m supposed to believe they take my situation seriously? And I can’t open up to a lot of men because some of them will try to “red pill” me and use my experience to try to push some misogynistic bullshit onto me. I feel betrayed by the community I once was a part of and I’m sorry if it’s a trauma dump but seeing a woman with a platform use it to have an honest conversation like this, given what the popular opinion is is very refreshing and I thank you.
I can't believe the dudes that try to use men not getting taken seriously when women abuse them as fuel for their misogyny. How do they not understand that the reason those men are invalidated is because people see women as so weak that they can't possibly be sources of trauma and abuse?
Then again I do think it's a different kind of misogyny from like, Traditional Misogyny(TM) where men are supposed to be stoic, emotionless robots and women are supposed to be weak and fragile. I think these men think that women have all the power and they're the victims of societal injustice instead.
I hope your doing better love ❤️
Anyone who says misandry isn’t a real thing is a joke. Men are oppressed in their own way. As a society, we need to start calling everyone out on the wrongs they do, and not on the gender they are. We need to understand that we all have issues and we must meet in the middle in order to achieve true equality. Generalizations are bad whichever way they go. I am a woman with many male and female friends and I have seen women and men alike hurt them in ways that could have ruined their lives. Wether in toxic friendships, abusive relationships, or family related issues, it is all something that matters. I think it’s insanely unfair that nowadays all women must be blindly believed with no proof, and men are to be ridiculed when they do the same. Men take their lives more often than we do in many places, and that should already say a lot about our modern day society. It’s sad.
@@oatmeallemons9676 very true. And unfortunately I think the “women can do no wrong” mentality fuels those kinds of men. There have been studies that show that around 50+% of men experience abuse in their relationships. So if the majority of men and the majority of women experience abuse from one another then maybe the issue is that we live in a toxic shitty culture. Obviously the patriarchy makes seeking help difficult for women and there’s the physical strength aspect that does make things different, however, abuse is abuse regardless. But a lot of men experience abuse and having a “women do no harm” mentality can push men down dangerous roads lead by bozos like Andrew Tate who only want to get money out of them, leaving them broken men no better than they were before. I see a lot of women take on toxic traits and view it as empowerment but I don’t think the goal of the gender equality movement should be for women to be as toxic as men because that toxic masculinity is what got us into this mess. The gender equality movement should be about removing the toxicity on all sides and holding everyone accountable.
@@ya_miami you’re very kind! I’m in a better place than I was before, I was diagnosed with PTSD and CPTSD and having that knowledge has helped me get proper help for my trauma. It’s been hard seeing how some conversations are had but Emily and you guys, her community, are genuinely bringing tears to my eyes for being receptive to my perspective because others have not been. 🥹
"It's kind of a slay" Yes she slayed your son
im honestly really scared to talk to people about this cause im scared I will word it wrong and people will think I'm sexist but you said this so well oh my god...sl- slay?
Yeah I have been called sexist for calling out sexist women lmao😭 this video was a breath of fresh air
yes i was definitely hesitant to talk about this because i don’t want people to think i’m anti-feminist in any way… it can be a touchy topic and people tend to disregard nuance and only view things as black and white! but thank you for watching! :D
@@notevenemily yes Emily
Dude here, I don't talk about this stuff out loud cuz don't want to sound misogynistic either, I always saw it as upto women if they want to call out other women when they do sth wrong to men, but it's kind of eye opening seeing even women are scared of talking about this without looking misogynistic
As a bisexual women who has been hurt by men and women...but more women (I don't know why thats the case but thats the truth) being told by people that women can do no wrong is really hurtful
Women can absolutely do wrong. I support humans who do good things ✨️
Thank you for this, especially the objectification part.
What we should be doing as women (and men too!) is building a world where people don't treat you differently based on your looks. People complain a lot about pretty privilege but then turn around and feed into it by focusing only on their or other's looks. Self objectification helps no one, it just continues what men have been doing to us for years.
Yeah and bully people who don't fit the standard, I see it all the time
@@nothing-jl2dz yeah. Tiktok is the place where 'pretty privilege' went viral.
Everyone was complaining about it, everyone was a victim of it etc. But then they go on to make fun of every little flaw a person has, even things that aren't really flaws. If someone says something they don't like then they start calling them ugly, or fat, or (for men) saying they have a small... you know what. I believe in disregarding a person's looks and assessing their character/behaviour instead. *That* will tell you more about who they are.
self objectification doesnt harm *you* because women are not all the same. you are not me. if i want to be a slut, that does not mean you have to be. and if you want to start telling me i cant act how I want because *you* feel insecure about it then you have to cope. any women telling another woman how to live is not being a feminist.
@@colorblockpoprocks6973 @colorblockpoprocks6973 'being a slut' does not equal sexual objectification, idk how you came to that conclusion. And self objectification does affect other women. It literally looks no different from objectification done by others/men. It still leads to an environment where women are heavily sexualized (in non sexual situations), dehumanised, and dismissed. Yes it's your choice, you're free to do what you want but you can't run away from a civil discussion about your choices.
"Any woman telling another what to do is not a feminist"
Please point out where I told you what to do. Also, not all choices are valid and okay because a woman is the one making it.
ugghhh i also heard the "I wish I was a lesbian" SO MUCH too. it's actually insane
Not to mention that feminism went from "i am a person, not a bag of meat" to "i'm the best bag of meat around!" and nobody batted an eye...
I think that’s just the difference between womens feminism and mens feminsim actually. And the latter was mainly pushed by older women to stop the narrative that sex is just for men and women are simply vessels to make they man happy. Don’t know why teenagers decided to hop along that train though. 💀💀Most modern feminism lately talks more about body autonomy, sexual assault, domestic violence and things actively effecting womens lives.
I agree its weird and we need to call it out. I'm female BTW, I hate hypocrisy in any form.
the “✨let women be delusional i am just a girl✨” trend and stuff is so tiring its both damaging to others and demeaning to oneself as a woman
this means a lot, my mother abused me my entire life and people didn't take it as seriously.
my toxic trait is.. this. literally this,
this video was made for me, its a wake up call
This reminded me of when GTA6 was announced and it was revealed that one of the main characters was a woman, and a lot of guys on the internet (well, at least on Reddit) made the argument that it didn't make sense for a woman to be a main character in a game "about violent crime" because "women aren't violent"
this is SUCH a good point. i really do think that there can come a point where “reclaiming” something negative that’s directed towards you can just come full circle into self-deprication, often because you actually believed the hurtful things said about you. not even just with actual discrimination but also with more general bullying and mean nicknames/words/ideas
Thank you for this video!
Here's my take on the "women supporting women" movement: I think there's a baseline level of respect we should have for every woman (or everyone in general), such as not being misogynistic, bigoted, etc. But if a woman does something really bad, we shouldn't support her for it. We should hold her accountable for it without using misogyny to do so. I support all women in the way that they all deserve to be free from misogyny/patriarchy, but beyond that we shouldn't support women who do really bad things.
As a trans woman who’s had to live as a guy for 20 years now while only just becoming fully conscious of my identity this past year, THANK YOU for this video! I grew up surrounded by this toxic mindset and suffered far more problems in my childhood than I feel I needed to from the constant media’s messaging of “girls are inherently good and pure, while guys are not to be trusted etc…” among other sexist ideas both ways while simultaneously being bullied during elementary school for being feminine and trying to fit in with girl groups. It made me more and more afraid to form friendships with girls growing up because I became more terrified at the thought of myself being seen as someone they’d be uncomfortable around. I can’t even imagine how trans men must be feeling about this discourse, let alone cis people in general. I’ve had to work for a long time to confront the sexist stereotypes and messages that were shoved onto me back then and still trying to overcome the trauma that experience gave me. There’s no way in HELL that I’d let that mindset carry over in my transition and make the same mistakes. Once again Emily, thank you for this video. You really are like an internet big sister to me!
Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. I always suspected that this mindset is especially damaging to trans people, adding another layer of shame on top of dysphoria. I've seen women make jokes that trans men are 'traitors', and the women who made these jokes were considering themselves allies... I hope you will be in a better place soon and I wish you best luck in your transition journey! ❤️
@@alinashirinian2485 Thank you so much Alina for your kind words! ❤️ I’m sorta in a better place now, but I still have a long way to go haha! Lots of inner demons I still have to face, but I wanna overcome them. I hope you’re doing well too, sis.
Trans people get to experience what I call Extra Spicy sexism. When you're viewed as a woman people don't take you seriously because of misogyny. When you're seen as a man people don't take you seriously because of toxic masculinity. Trans women often have experices like yours, and Trans men can grow up with the trauma of misogyny, only to then be told to shut up about it because "men are the problem/untrustworthy/mansplaining" and be shut out of their own communities for "joining the enemy." Sexism hurts Trans people so bad, you just can't win.
I don't mean to sound so gloomy, being trans is wonderful too and I love it when people can be their true selves. Good luck OP, we can fight this!! 💪❤
I have already made another comment, but i'd like to share a story that shows how women can be bad too, just like men:
Women can sexually harass men too, and you know what's scary about it? everyone expects you to enjoy it.
I was in my last year of high school and something happend. A classmate for whatever reason started to act in a very innapropriate way with me, i think it was after a day where she, with some of her friends, asked me about my sexuality (i wasn't close to any of them). Suddenly everytime she'd pass by my desk she'd pull my hair, touch me, grab my butt and things of the sort... and i barely even knew her. I didn't feel lucky like many would say i should feel, and i didn't feel male priviledge and strength at that moment, i just felt scared, because i couldn't tell anyone what was happening to me because i was afraid of judgement, because people would be like "what? you're not into a girl touching you? you're supposed to like it, always", i also couldn't confront her because i was scared of her too, and scared of the people she walked with, because they could be very sketchy. Anyway... i ended up not doing anything about it, i just told my mom and my sister who were just shocked at what the girl was doing, but i didn't wanna make a fuss about it cause i did not want everyone to know...
So... yeah, women/girls can be gross too, and that can happen with a man or a boy! and a man won't just feel powerful because they're men in situations like that either, we can also feel scared even if we are physically stronger, we can also feel stuck and like we can't do anything about it, sometimes even more stuck than a woman because society won't even acknowledge what happened to us as something real, 'cause A LOT, if not MOST people think men can't be sexually abused by women, they don't think it does any real harm to us and also often think we should enjoy it.
that’s so terrible and disgusting, I am so deeply sorry. No one deserves that and your trauma is valid and abuse is still abuse regardless of the gender of your abuser. I hope you are in a better place these days ❤
@@tkettlesoup No it's not, Stop feeling sorry for male rape victims. Men should NOT have the right to say no to a woman EVER.
@@roguedragon9992 weird trolling attempt but ok lmao
@@tkettlesoup Not trolling, women should not have to obtain consent to have sex with a man. Only men should have to obtain consent before having sex.
@@roguedragon9992 ok troll
woah I never expected 2 videos back to back in less than a week from Emily ! it's an honour to be able to see this occurrence as an old Emily stan (Emilanian)
If they think men in a straight relationship are the devil then I wonder what’d they think about two men in a mlm relationship 😭😭
I’m pretty sure they think gay men are less threatening because they’re gay.
They'd think they're angels because of the rampant fetish of mlm relationships 👍
@@clownRatcity truu, with their little gay uwu soft beans who can do no wrong 🥺✨
@@pinchetii6555 EWWW sickening
@@clownRatcityActually, if you read a lot of BL (Boys Love) stories (mostly written by women for women btw), they usually romanticize very toxic relationships. There's always that dominating top who will harass and r@pe the bottom, but don't worry, he secretly likes it because his dick is hard. 🤨 And it always ends in a happy ending with the top never facing repercussions. Lmao
This belief of "Girls are Good and Pure" really affected me because as a boy I was mainly bullied by girls and it made me feel bad because I could not defend myself and their comments made me develop scarring insecurities that are lattent today.
I also went through that. I was bullied heavily by both girls and boys, and when the whole "Women can do no wrong #slay" thing started to get popular, I started to simply repress those memories instead of dealing with them because I didn't know how to process them. It's a long journey to heal from bullying, and I haven't fully recovered my self-esteem yet, but I'm getting better and I wish you the best of luck
Oh, absolutely. And that's becoming more and more common, especially given how different the sexes are treated in elementary schools.
I cannot believe i got 150 likes
@@danielbob2628 Wdym?
Fr, mate. I can't understand how would anyone think that. Girls are capable of being bad as boys are capable.
My school did nothing about bullying but at least acknowledged boy bullies and was like "Oh, yeah he is a bully, ok 😴". Yet, they didn't even acknowledge the obvious girl bullies and were like "Huh? Nah She can't be a bully 😴".
Emily, i wanna thank you so much for this. I am a woman who was sexually abused by another woman when i was 18 and a lot of people didn't really give it the importance it had when i told them, which was way different than their reactions when i told them about similar situations with men. Women can be bad people too, and pretending that this is not real just to endorse your white girlboss "feminist" narrative is ridiculous.
I am so sorry you had to go through that.
I completely agree. My ex gfs didn't abuse me but every single bad manager I've had has been female, aside from one guy with major communication issues. Everyone has the potential to be terrible. Really!
this hit home. i get anxiety around women after a history of bullying as a kid/teen and recently i made friends with my bf's sister and we hugged and i bawled my eyes out when she left. female respect/kinship is on another level, just like bullying.
I'm so glad to see a woman speak about this. I've been feeling and thinking the same. I have been in abusive relationships with women as a man. I'm not saying that dudes arent bad but sometimes I've had people gas light me or choose not to believe me just because I'm a man... that really hurts
Another thing to keep in mind: when women do violence to men, cops laugh, community laughs, non-profits laugh, hospitals laugh, and DON'T ENTER DATA.
"At the end of the day we're all human..."
Ah... Yes... That definitely is true. All humans here.
Username checks out, your Majesty.
this is so real because it's like,,,,even when a woman is doing like one of the worst things ever like SA or abuse or any number of other heinous things it's not taken as seriously and not only do I think it's part of the female empowerment thing but also misogyny because how can people see women do these horribly violent and cruel things and ultimately just be like "oh well it's not that bad" without thinking women are inherently weaker, especially in cases where the victim is a man, somehow female empowerment has managed to make misogyny an even deeper rooted problem and idk who fucked up that badly but yikes
I have heard the rhetoric that women couldn’t ever hurt me the way that men can often. I am lesbian, and since I know a lot of people who have been abused physically, sexually, and emotionally, that is something I am actively afraid of. I was talking to my (straight) therapist about that fear, and she tried to comfort me by basically telling me that that couldn’t happen because I don’t like men.
I know it was an attempt to comfort me, but it was also a really weird way to do so. The main difference between my relationships and the abusive relationships I have seen friends be in isn’t the lack of men. Hopefully, it is a foundation of self love and a support network that can help me see early signs of abuse, and leave the relationship before it gets to that point.
Girls supporting Introspection.
Ahhh Emily you’re posting more often. We appreciate you so much. Hahaha and “skittles squad” 🏳️🌈🏳️🌈❤🎉
My friend group named ourselves ‘the skittle squad’ lol
I think I love "Skittle Squad" as much as "Alphabet Mafia" and I really love "Alphabet Mafia"
@@Nehu_22 Don't forget "the rainbow plague"
@@RoseSmell2005 Oooooh, I love that, pretty threatening as well
I was bullied to shit as a kid, and mostly by other girls. It has led to me having a lot of distrust towards other girls and feeling more comfortable around guys. I understand that women as a whole aren’t to blame for what happened to me, but that doesn’t change the trauma I have. It gets really frustrating to hear people talk about how much they hate men and then have those same people turn around and criticize me for having a hard time trusting women.
Something that wasn't brought up in the video that I think is important to this discussion is the hatred for trans people. I've noticed that a lot of the people who support this misconstrued feminism treat trans women as predators and trans men as traitors. This "feminism" harms many marginalized groups and it's incredibly important to talk about it's range.
Intersectional feminism is the best type of feminism. I agree. I’ve heard so called feminists not validate trans ppl. See trans women as still men and trans men as still women, be less inclined to sympathize with a black women in an abusive relationship etc. this isn’t feminism. It’s white women feminism. (It only benefits them that’s why they call it that)
Being bisexual is hard as well. Lots of women will overlook you for fraternizing with the devil and men think it’s an open relationship from the start 😿 forever alone is alright with me.
This is one of those things like women being shamed for feeling angry and they werent allowed to express it.
thank you for making this. i hate how this happens so commonly, and not only does it hurt men but it also hurts the women you're *supposed* to be empowering? how can you empower and bring down women at the same time 💀
also i always think i'm sexist by bringing up these things because i'm told that i have no room to say anything as a man, and i even feel like i betrayed women by being trans when that's not something you can control... i just wish that everything was normal. i wish misogynists and misandrists will die out and everyone can live happily together with no issues like this. it's an unrealistic fantasy, but i can wish.
True. It is like saying I am supporting Margorie Taylor Green because because she is a woman despite her policies or supporting MLMs like Beach Body because they say "Be a girl boss/boss babe" despite the horrendous failure rate and questionable products. Ethical questions cannot be forgone for the sake of "women supporting women."
I’ve had sexual trauma from women, and I’m a trans man. And continually, people have told me that it didn’t happen, and that I’m not trans and I’m a lesbian and that I liked it. Thanks for this video, man
I’m so sorry that happened to you
Just wanna say how much i love you! You are fr one of my comfort channels
thank youuu that means a lot :)))
@@notevenemily as a trans kid, your videos mean a lot :)))
I don't say I'm a feminist anymore because most people will assume I'm one of those women who has a warped perception on actual feminism. People, often misogynists, mistake feminism with matriarchy. Feminism gave women the ability to make their own choices while a matriarchy is basically a patriarchy but women are 'on top'.
The only woman that viewed feminism as you claim is Erin Pizzey and feminists as a whole destroyed her when daring to notice that women commit as much domestic violence than men when working inside her own anti-violence center. Equality my ass. And then women wonder why men retreat more and more away from relationships
@@stefanoputignano1555there were plenty of women rather than her. None of the gender is god or smthng both are humans both have the capability to be bad people. I guess before men were on top so their bad deeds took place more often but now as women are becoming equal to men we are seeing that women also have the potential to be bad people the difference is that back in old times they did not have that "freedom" i guess. I don't know the exact word for that i am sorry. But as a society we should condemn bad deeds done by both genders. And i think women biased laws should change. Women are human too they will take advantage of those laws same as men took advantage of their power in old times. Women can be as bad as men. (Not in physical terms but still behaviour wise). Also alot of female killers are also not caught bcoz of this notion of society.
This "women are always good and men are always bad" thing is a major gateway to terf beliefs. This is a core tenet of terf beliefs because the logic goes "women are always good and men are always bad" -> "this is either some inherent biological thing OR it's about socialization which happens when you're very young and can never be undone" -> "trans people can never be their gender because they were born either the good gender or the bad gender and they stay that way forever. if they were born the bad gender than they're just pretending to be the good gender, which makes them evil liars, and if they were born the good gender then they're trying to become the bad gender, which makes them evil traitors". there are a lot more problematic beliefs that come out of that but this really vile form of transphobia is a big one
It's also sometimes very harmful for men in relationships with toxic partners or even with partners who will casually say harmful things about men overall. It's hurtful when I've heard my partners in the past say things like "cis straight men just ain't for me/suck/are inadequate partners" and when asked if I wasn't making them happy or if I should change some behaviors I'd be dismissed as "too sensitive" or "I'm not talking about YOU". And then there were times when a partner would hurt me and I'd have to end a relationship and discuss things with female friends of mine and there wouldn't really be any support for me and excuses for my partner's behavior because "women support women" and "why would I help a man".
"Wait, why is that kind of a slay?" She slayed your husband and son
Always coming through with the straight up talk! Big facts. Genuine content 💖🙌
Finally. Anytime we try to call this behaviour out on instagram comments we’re suddenly exhibiting “iNtErNaLiSeD mIsOgYnY”
fr also Tiktok too
thank you so much for this! As a bi woman I've had people do the whole "well, you must have been faking being bi because you left a woman and then later ended up with a man, and clearly it can't be that you and your ex actually just didn't work out because how could two women just not work out" - like no, I left one person that I had a terrible relationship with and then later dated another person who I have an amazing relationship with - that's all that happened
4:01 I was genuinely expecting her to say "I was crazy once..." I hate myself
I appreciate what your sentiment at 6:51 _"Holding women accountable is closer to gender equality."_ Because I feel like women not only support women's rights, but their wrongs as well too often. Which is not equality but gynocentrism. But gynocentrism is also most of the criticisms I have of this video.
For me it is sad that you need to sell the idea of not supporting women being toxic and problematic as "It isn't good for us, it isn't good optics." (Like with 0:06, 0:30, & 2:11) instead of admitting that women have a collective issue with holding other women accountable. While taking leaps and bounds to not admit that men in general do not deserve it and you should do better.
1:36 Nice that you gave a second thought about mentioning how men it feeds into a misandric mentality in the caption on the side.(without saying it.) But you have to mention how it probably is because "men are so bad." Which is ironically there to justify and defend women's toxic behaviors.
0:52 "The badness we see from men is fundamental and systemic. That there is a different level to negativity." Except there isn't any the reason you believe womsn have it so much worse is gynocentrism and the unwillingness to hear about men's issues. Because of gynocentrism. I know that sounds like a whataboutism but the point is, men have just as much valid and important gender issues and no gender is exactly more better off.
*ALSO MEN ARE NOT INHERENTLY MORE VIOLENT.*
5:29 "in reality men are statistically the ones more likely to harm women."
Lesbian relationships are statistically the relationships with the most domestic violence with no close second. Also those statistics are skewed because of the Duluth Model. Which is a program used to get statistics on DM/IPV but blatantly believes verbatim "Men get violent because power and privilege, while women abuse out of trauma or defense." These classes also get money out of the men they have in their learning programs. A lot of special witness also use the Duluth Model as an example of statistics to convict more men. Which feeds into the cycle of ramping up more male DM convictions. Also relisten to Amber Heard tell Johnny Depp "Go ahead tell the world you were abused by a woman see who will believe or support you." Then tell me that wasn't her asserting power and privilege over Johnny. Before you say it wasn't feminist to support her. 130 feminist groups signed a petition in support of Amber Heard after the trial. This is actually a systematic problem. In fact 62% of parental physical abuse is mother and 70% of the victims is little boys. Infact research from Ph.D Murray Straus proved that most DM/IPV statistics is made up by feminist.(Not that I don't like feminism in general, just it needs to be called out.) Also his research indicates that the violence between genders is nearly equal. Flip flopping on which is more violent yearly. Then many professors including Sophie Goodchild have shown extensive data that women unquestionably initiate the vast majority of IPV.
As someone who was abused in a gay relationship and treated like I matter in a heterosexual one it’s too true. Just because men are the majority statistic for abuse doesn’t mean that women can’t and won’t. I hope that everyone who has been abused or treated poorly in a toxic relationship no matter the relationship (friends,gay,straight, etc) has found peace or is on the path of recovery ❤. Be safe everyone and you are worth it and your feelings and trauma are valid even if someone else had it “worse”. Trauma is trauma no matter the severity
I am so sorry for what you went through. you deserve so much better
skittle squad is definitely a new euphemism of the lgbtq+ community. i love it. personally partial to the alphabet mafia
i definitely think that the "women can do no wrong" mindset stems from a bioessentialist understanding of how humans operate.
I'm a bi guy and most of my experiences with men have been very sweet and "normal", I guess. It's probably my approach to dating and how I tend to date good friends. I know gay guys who have been manipulated by other men in relationships, so I know very well that straight relationships aren't just inherently "disgusting" and that it all depends on the individual people involved.
Also, the "don't you have a passion for being sexy" part made me laugh so hard hahahaha
On the flip side of this same issue is also talking about men like they’re all evil… it’s not true and it’s not productive in any way
Thank you so much for this video! This is something that's been on my mind for some years now. Especially after learning some people, mostly composed of women, were congratulating a woman who was arrested for murdering her 3 sons as she supposedly did that to "keep more bad men from existing". Though Laurren J. Courtney, Julia Lee Carter and Kimora Hodges, for example, never stated that as a drive to beat the young boys they were supposed to watch over to death (I'm not convinced it's not the drive), I know those same wackos would congratulate these monsters anyways. I had to find this out for myself, these cases aren't big enough to make it to Twitter trending or any actors speaking on it, etc., can barely even find fiction taking such as seriously.
But a good chunk of us are against what women/girls do to harm others just as much as we do with men/boys, I don't even care about the numbers, they don't even count everybody over the centuries. I simply want to care. Again, thank you.
it makes me smile when i see emily addressing toxic femininity. Misandry and delusion in society gets cloaked as merit and i dont think wrong to point out some of those flaws :)
It's crazy how even using the phrase "toxic femininity" has been labelled as sexist by misandrists although "toxic masculinity" gets thrown around all the time
@@mr.sandman7339 well nobady gives a list of treats that are in toxic femininity that are gender based expectetions, unlike toxic masculenity.
It's also worth pointing out that most cases of child abuse are actually from mothers and not fathers, but you would be shocked on how often courts whether it is the US or the UK kind of make excuses for some of these cases.....
Unfortunately, that's part of the patriarchy. It hurts men as well.
@@Username-wh2ij Uh not really, it's more of the "women are wonderful" rather than "the patriarchy" since the former actively encourages by the feminist movement for the sake of power....look at Amber Heard. I mean in the Middle East a mostly patriarchal area, if a woman does murder their child...then she'll get stoned.
@@Username-wh2ij And somehow they still can't realise that the thing that caused they problems is not feminisum, or women, but the thing that they uphold.
"Some things, are not slay."
- Not Even Emily
Quote of the century.
My sister is very abusive to everyone when her ex came out of and said what she had done to him people asked what he did and were confused on why the rest of my family was standing with him. No one deserves that.
how do you get prettier every video. like that sounds so cliche but BRO the hair style?? the hair colour?? the glasses?? the earrings?? absolutely killing it as always
Emily uploaded-this makes my day!!
Thank you for this video!
I can see that this video is targeted exactly to the people who need to listen to it, btw, so that's great! Though i must say it feels kinda weird to not be the target of this message and be watching it :')
But yeah i think this idolization of women is getting out of hand :/ and i know it's important to say how this affects women themselves, but it's also good to say how it affects the rest. When you behave with that "women are perfect and men suck" mentality you also affect a lot of men who aren't even doing anything wrong... and i think that also affects their self-esteem. For example, some men might start to distrust when a woman has feelings for him, or not really believe that women feel any attraction towards men because of how many women out there just constantly say that men suck and are horrible and that they would rather be a lesbian than have to get into any contact with men.
This mentality also affect men in a sense that horrible acts commited by women against men will be even more ignored, like rape, pedophilia and physical violence. Basically in todays society there's a culture that says two things:
1- men always want to have sex.
2- if they don't they're not real men or they're gay (or both).
That makes people not acknowledge that rape by women against men because they think that if a man has a boner that means consent (which is not true), and they just overall think a man can't be raped by a woman, only by another man. Also if you're a man and a woman touches you innapropriately you're supposed to like it. Always. And that also ties into the fact that boys are also always supposed to want it, if you're a teenager and an adult woman wants to be involved with you people think you're *lucky* and are not freaked out by the fact that a grown woman wants to be with a teenager or a boy... and if the boy/teen does not want it they're, again, not a real man or gay.
I think we should talk more about these kinds of things so they can stop being a thing :T
"The one thing that really frustrates me is this idea that women are innately good, innately nurturing. People will dismiss trampy, vampy, bitchy types - but there's still a big pushback against the idea that women can be just pragmatically evil, bad, and selfish." In 2015, Flynn explained her decision to write cruel female characters, saying, "I've grown quite weary of the spunky heroines, brave rape victims, soul-searching fashionistas that stock so many books. I particularly mourn the lack of female villains - good, potent female villains."
- Gillian Flynn, author of Gone Girl
Interestingly enough, I came across this video right after I watched a doc that featured probably ones of the most heinous women that abused and killed their children. I want to hope no one would ever say these women "slayed" as thankfully the society as a whole tends to think child murder is inexcusable. However... something tells me that if those women were younger and conventionally attractive there would indeed be some "smart" people who'd find bullshit excuses for their crimes.
A perfect example of this on ur channel is the trolling on omegle video. i belive you were talking about "killing ur ex" w other girls. they were hyping you up and planning a plan for "murdering him". honestly watching that part gave me the chills. also if i man said something like that people, most specifically women, would say stuff like "OMG JAIL" "andrew tate vibes haha" "ew men". bro 🤦♀️
tbh
Getting a bit personal for a sec, I was sexually assaulted by an afab person, and then after spending time online I went into my “hot era” and boiled myself down to a pretty face and my sex appeal as an afab person and put myself in a lot of uncomfortable situations as I started to feel it was my only worth as a person. Women hyped me up for it, and in tandem with the assault it really got in my head, and caused a lot of damage.
that's horrible. I hope you start to feel better!
Hope you are doing well now
as a girl, i 100% agree with this video. I spent two years of my life being severely bullied by people at my school, and only one of the kids who bullied me more often than others was a guy, most were girls. I know firsthand how cruel women can be, not every single one is a saint.
sometimes i really hate being a girl and i cry and cry about the fact that i'll be stuck here forever
there is a movement in romance snd YA that says you should never writd bullying girls snd like... as an autistic woman... how else can i write life? because i've met maybe 7 women whodon't have bullying tendencies...
at uni - where i was already being bullied and picked on - i got frozen out of the group when i called s girl out for cheating, and was told by others that it didn't matter who was right, i should support the girl over the guy...
it's misogyny in its own right... judging a person's worth by their gender no matter their actions... utter BS...
i had a female friend who would never be on my side or consider my feelings if the person who wronged me is a woman, she would also excuse women cheating, when i called her out on it she dismissed it, she would also be progressive and conservative at the same time, she was very progressive when it came to feminism and women's rights, which I agreed with, but then say stuff along the lines of men providing and women nurturing, wanting to be a trophy wife and a lot of things that you'd probably only hear from an old man about how women should live, so yeah, needless to say that we're not friends anymore
The thing about loving mean or evil female characters is so true. I live characters like Heather from Total Drama and Heather Chandler (huh) from Heathers. However, in resl life, I dont support women and girls who are mean and bullies. Its one thing to like a character who is morally in the wrong but if you support that behavior in real life its a problem.
I swear I've had the exact dialogue of the first skit before with a straight person it's a little funny
BROO EMILY ACTUALLY MADE A VIDEO ADDRESSING THIS ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY ILY
“Why is that kind of a slay?”
Because that’s what she did, Mrs Wang... she... slayed... your son. 😭😭
2:51 you didnt have to call me out...
I used to be super supportive of EVERYTHING women did and do but suddenly i started seeing people cheering on shit like adultery and horrid shit. Thats when my mind changed, i think women are amazing and could do amazing things but im not going to support cheating, sleeping with lots of people at an incredibly young age and other shit. I support women starting businesses, standing up to bad shit, doing their own thing without NEEDING a man.
Your skits are getting better and better. Keep it up!
Thank you for shedding light on this topic, this needs to be talked about more, women should support women, but also women should call other women out on their bs 👏👏👏
The first sketch made me SO uncomfortable (in the way you intended it to be) 😭😭
I can just genuinely appreciate your presence online. My experiences with other women have unfortunately led me down a path of denying my attraction to them and even sometimes a bias against them, although I am female myself. It results in me not giving other women a chance when there wasn't *explicit* reason why I shouldn't, and also led me to believe that others saw me in the same way as I saw other women (annoying and holier-than-thou). It gives me a lot of social anxiety to even present as woman (especially one who is LGBT) due to the perceptions on my identities that I feel others sharing. There was and is a lot of self-hatred within me for many reasons stemming from those.
I will be entirely upfront and say that I even hesitated to click on your videos at first because I wasn't sure if your content would have nuance, as I see many other femme content creators lacking it. Their content can often be an endless "girlboss fest" where men are evil and hypocrisy runs rampant, among plenty of other traits that I don't personally find entertaining or endearing or even ethical to be frank. But I'm working on my internalized misogyny. Trying to acknowledge that, indeed, women *can* see the humanity in everyone rather than paying too much attention to labels and division and performing to look better than others. You're a great example of showing that woman are also just human beings. Not gonna lie it's a hard growth journey, but thank you for helping people like me just by being you.
PS: as someone who is heavy into the "bimbo movement", it's a coping mechanism in the same way that my gender-fluidity is a cope. I wouldn't have cared about finding my "self" outside womanhood if womanhood wasn't spoiled for me somehow to begin with. And it's valid. While I hold my bimbo trait in a little bit of an ironic way, like you mentioned, it's also something that I *am* proud of. My body and how I direct it is just as much "mine" as my thoughts and goals as a woman are "mine", so I don't think I should forego pride in my body for the sake of my mind being taken seriously. They are NOT mutually exclusive!
(To say someone should do that would be to dictate how another woman should live in some way and that's not feminist. As I'm trying to learn, women are not a monolith and so one woman being more proud of her body does not mean that you should suddenly act like her. So you have no need to try and control how other women live.)
But also especially because claiming myself as a bimbo is like when a guy sells their dick size short. You sound humble, then it's a wicked pleasant surprise if it's shown to be better than claimed, and also gives me the leeway to shut off my brain if I want to and not have people say something about it. Like "yeah, I'm dumb today. You want a medal for noticing *me* being stupid?" lol
"Some things are not slay." - Emily
"some things are not slay. and we as a society need to accept that"
So many truths, thank you Emily
6:36 "Some things...are not slay" Damn. That was unironically so deep
GIRL UR FEEDING US
Mama really serving us 💋
Like 3 videos in 1 month? Shes working hard😳
@@gamerplaytime8174 FRR
@@Sxlhyn and I'm eating it up
Istg I keep collecting gay content creators like that one girl in school collects hand sanitizer. I won’t stop.
In the past, (particularly in the old south) women were often considered simple-minded, delicate, and kind of just stupid. They weren't held responsible if they messed everything up or did something awful because it was just considered 'silly women things'. Keeping this mindset is the height of idiocy. That is not empowerment. That is invalidating women's sense and responsibility.
the amount of ppl who said 'being transmasc must b so ez' yet i get bullied, slandered, harassed, verbally abused and my dad hates me. its not the same as being gay but still
Enjoyed the video. Thought provoking. And the fact that you slipped that North Korea reference in is a bonus. Hope you won't be the recipient of one of Kim Yo Jong's fire and brimstone speeches.
I'm really glad you're opened to discuss both sides of this conversations, tbh.😊
It's important to discuss the awful things that happens in society and shouldn't, like misogyny. But it is also very important to talk nuances, at least when you're around people who are safe for you to be around. Otherwise, it can get pretty lonely, to only discuss what all of your friend group agree about, and not discuss things you feel different about.
BTW, there's a lot of DV in lesbian relationships. And because as a society we have this false belief that women can't be bad like that, women who are abused by a female partner often have difficulty getting the help that they need. In fact, female abusers will often follow their female victims to DV shelters and continue to abuse them there.
People you love are the people that can hurt you the easiest AND GENDER DOESN'T MATTER IN THAT CASE.
Just cuz ur ✨️bestie✨️ would never hurt u, doesn't mean she wouldn't cheat, dismiss and abuse her girlfriend (or any partner i guess) during the same time 🗿