I have only been in one shall we say traditional relationship. That lasted for two months and we are both autistic. There was so much negativity to that relationship that I don't even know where to start. I can say that I think a relationship has a better chance of there is a good foundation and that includes a warm feeling and a desire to both be around this person and be happy and that the other person really means something to you. It was very respectful in the beginning, but that respect and softness/friendlyness soon failed when problems arose. And here I think there is another thing to consider and that is communication styles. Of course, in a good relationship, it becomes easier to communicate well with time one you know each other better. Sooner or later there will be collisions and how you can deal with them will often be the determining factor of whether you continue or not. Just as you are not compatible with a person sexually if you (like me) need sex to last for between 30 and 90 minutes and the other person thinks ten is the standard length, there are also different ways of communicating and you are not always compatible to begin with, I believe. You can't always make things work with time. It's sad that we in society text to each other so much instead of meeting in person. I personally very much like to write long letters to friends who live a long way from here and sometimes even to persons who live close-by. What I refuse to do is text chatting. I simply cannot do it the way neorotyoical people do and it gives me nothing but strong anxiety. Unfortunately, what tend to happen is that text communication takes over when something had gone wrong in the relationship because you feel adverse/antagonistic towards the other person and thus calling or meeting with them feels highly uncomfortable. THIS doesn't work and must be avoided at all cost in my opinion! You are now writing text messages to a robot and lack the empathy and respect you have for the other person in real life. However, composing long texts were you describe your feelings and thoughts in detail might be very helpful. You can even read it to your partner.
Thank you for sharing this here. There is such a challenge for people to communicate authentically and vulnerably. Ideally, we want face to face. But so many haven’t learned to do that. Relationships are complex and requires a lot of ‘this was the story I’m telling myself but now I see it’s not what you were doing.’ And ‘I see my impact on you thank you for sharing this hard thing.’
I have only been in one shall we say traditional relationship. That lasted for two months and we are both autistic. There was so much negativity to that relationship that I don't even know where to start.
I can say that I think a relationship has a better chance of there is a good foundation and that includes a warm feeling and a desire to both be around this person and be happy and that the other person really means something to you. It was very respectful in the beginning, but that respect and softness/friendlyness soon failed when problems arose. And here I think there is another thing to consider and that is communication styles. Of course, in a good relationship, it becomes easier to communicate well with time one you know each other better. Sooner or later there will be collisions and how you can deal with them will often be the determining factor of whether you continue or not. Just as you are not compatible with a person sexually if you (like me) need sex to last for between 30 and 90 minutes and the other person thinks ten is the standard length, there are also different ways of communicating and you are not always compatible to begin with, I believe. You can't always make things work with time.
It's sad that we in society text to each other so much instead of meeting in person. I personally very much like to write long letters to friends who live a long way from here and sometimes even to persons who live close-by. What I refuse to do is text chatting. I simply cannot do it the way neorotyoical people do and it gives me nothing but strong anxiety.
Unfortunately, what tend to happen is that text communication takes over when something had gone wrong in the relationship because you feel adverse/antagonistic towards the other person and thus calling or meeting with them feels highly uncomfortable. THIS doesn't work and must be avoided at all cost in my opinion! You are now writing text messages to a robot and lack the empathy and respect you have for the other person in real life. However, composing long texts were you describe your feelings and thoughts in detail might be very helpful. You can even read it to your partner.
Thank you for sharing this here. There is such a challenge for people to communicate authentically and vulnerably. Ideally, we want face to face. But so many haven’t learned to do that. Relationships are complex and requires a lot of ‘this was the story I’m telling myself but now I see it’s not what you were doing.’ And ‘I see my impact on you thank you for sharing this hard thing.’