The key was when Kevin said what narcissists need - control. It finally made sense! The rest of my family all did what our narcissistic father did; following in his footsteps. I was the only Christian, the worship leader, creative and musically talented and highly intuitive one. I even became a hair dresser. I got zero support, no appreciation or help with resources to cultivate any of it.. But I did some amazing things in my life. I did well. And when I married a good man who was successful and loving , the sbuse was cranked up. It actially played oit with narcs in my church life, too. I thought "I can't get along with ANYbody! I must be the problem." But after being away from them, I realized iit was evil attacking me through narcissistic people. I feel freed up in a way I haven't in a long time. The JOY is back.
It’s really amazing how I’m still on this earth at 50 yo after enduring so much narc abuse! God has been with me, and all survivors of narcissistic abuse! God bless us all!
Same here. If I wasn't Christian and know better, I'd have taken my life many a time because of this -- most painful, multi-directions, and from many sources ....the worst, family. This is supposed to be safe haven. And when it's not. What an isolating, painful, lonely spot. And the follows you! It totally led me to my intimacy with Jesus Christ though, so the "paradox is"...ultimately, I"m thankful for them.
If you are a free and independent person, which we all should be, then you will never get on with abusive, narcisistic people. Period. Thank you Kevin.
Yes ! It"ll drive u in san if u allow them , it thought made me feel unworthy , hopeless , second guessing everything that I would do .😔 It's a very sick 🤢 cycle that they play 💔😭💔😭 I was told to leave from the beginning of the relationship ,I stand thinking I could get him to understand how much I loved him, how much I cared ! I never got through !! I gave all of me !!It even messed up my health ,💔THE it drove our 16 teen year -old to his death 😭💔😭💔🙏🏻💔🙏🏻 RUN ,CRY OUT TO GOD !! STAY ON YOUR KNEES !!! NEVER LOOK BACK !!🙏🏻💓🙏🏻💓🙏🏻GOD BLESS YOU !! YOU WILL OVERCOME !🙌❤️🙌💜❤️🙌
By the way fellow blacksheep: if you're as much of an individual as I am...you CANT BE ANYONE ELSE. You don't have that "ability". You are who you are and that won't EVER CHANGE.
Peace of mind comes when we stop try get along with toxic people, walk away and close the door. Distances yourself mentaly, emotionally, psychicaly be independent financially, emotionally and let them be dead for you. Don't let no one to brake you. Don't let others or life circumstances to stop you pursue your goals. Goals without hard work are just dreams.
I am a critical thinker too and that's why I'm questioning what's going on in this world right now...from 'pandemic' to riots...! And family and friends think that I'm crazy! I see more narcissist people now than ever before!! Scary...Thank you Kevin for sharing your wisdom and knowledge! Love from England :)
K-Lys Bliss The government is actually intrumentalizing narcissism. Narcissists actually believes the government loves them like a mother would. The fuse with the "big mother". If you break their illusion they get a narcissistic wound. It's been done for ages. Simple mass-manipulation, you can read about it, step for step. It basiacly causes mass-psychosis. Offender - victim - saviour. Narcissists change that role so that it fits the current political agenda. The governemts are "saving" us from a problem, they themselves created. You are the victim, you are afraid and in panic. Narcissists enter a infantile-state this way, the can't handle the emotions and need ab emotional regulator. The governemt says it's our saviour but it's actually causing the problem in the first place. Does this sound familiar to you? It's exactly what cluster-B's do. They cause cognitive dissonance and manipulate you this way. Narcissists become the extension of the governemt this way. They think they are good and honorable people for wearing mouth-protection and when they are home again they abuse their family. Brave new world.
When I saw a therapist for my family’s dysfunction and addictions, the topic of school came up. My therapist told me that schools are the most dysfunctional places there are.
I agree... I also think that we are psychologically in tune and tend to uncover their lies...expose their deceit and we don't do it on purpose... it's just how we are... and people hate it... the truth teller...the exposer... they flee in droves and in defense abuse us... and we are just innocently being ourselves... seeing the truth and speaking it... ; )
I told my narcissistic mother and sister one time that I was a dot connector. You should have seen the look on their faces. It was like a light bulb came on and they knew that I was on to them and all of their lies. I just acted normally afterwards, as if what I said was just a passing, matter of fact nugget of truth. But it landed like a bomb. It was quite revealing.
Yes they abuse us because of our gifts and how we see right through them,they hate our intelligence, they hate that God shows us things that others can't see. They hate that we are unique and authentic. They hate that we love deep conversation and that we don't try and control others. Most importantly they just hate that we are different.
The. Fact that people hate the truth never ceases to amaze me.When you are an empath and can “see” the truth clearly it is nearly impossible to engage in conversation w/. Toxic people. Most are so blind! And then we can seem like ‘know-it_alls’😒Ah, yes...ther is no sense in EVER trying to reason w/ a narc. Been there/done that😖. It was yrs. ago. Now, i just shuffle away from any such nonsense. Peace & my joy are far more important than “arguing” w/ a demon. 😔 Be sure to #1. Stay away from these creatures as best you can! #2 If you must be in their presence, stay as far away as possible.....do not engage. #3.Warn others to do the same/ educate people as to WHAT they are dealing with. It truly can be a matter of life & death (if they make you one of their TARGETS!!) EVIL & wickedness is their end game.....do not be fooled‼️ May God protect & guide you.😎❤
@@l.5832 It's the irony of ironies! The ridiculously sanctimonious folks hypocritically calling us "judgemental." They can DISH IT, but they sure can't take it back, ha ha!!
I was taught to hide my light.. thankfully I realized the toxic ways of my family & teachers ect... and no longer hide my light... I divorced my toxic family over a span of this past year. It wasn’t easy, and after grieving the separation life is so much better on the other side of it all... let go and create your life... we are worthy of appreciating our light... 🤗
Yep!!! You're so on point!! I heard that a lot from my mother growing up.... "Who do you think you are" "You don't know how to be with a man" "Don't think you're special" When I was younger and she saw that I was happy & smiling she would just give me a look & I knew to shut it down & stop being so happy. I cut my mother out of my life a few years ago & my life is much better for it!!
I was eighteen years old when I decided I wasn't going to use people for personal gain like my sisters did. They called me a "goodie goodie" because I decided to never have a sugar daddy or "geese" men for their money. They never allowed us to have a sisterly bond but made lifelong friendships with other people. To this day they find fault with me or try to make me envy them by bragging about having this or that but I have integrity and compassion. They know this is something they will never have and they hate me for it.
My mother hated me . If I was a lying, cheating, using, cold, jealous witch as she is; I would have been adored Like my brother. It's better to suffer like CHRIST,in the end we will be with him, they won't.Hell is alot longer than 70,80, years on earth. 😊
I accidentally clicked on this video on Facebook last night and man oh man. I saw this for a reason. I feel like we've had such a similar experience. This guy gets it.
I'm a black sheep 🐏🖤. I'm a designer 🐣 & I'm intuitive. I used to cry about it but when I grew up I realised that I don't need their validation. Constantly, being attacked is something I've never understood why they keep doing that! Thank your for the message. 🙏
Raises both hands ☺. Eff those people, they have no idea how hard it is to make a life on your own. To dig your life out of nothing, to be really independent. They don't know when you cry, when you lonely, afraid and you still go on. I am proud to be different, to have my own mind. My own life.
Most powerful message I have ever heard describing my whole life. I am 56 yes. OLD & have had these Narraccists attack me my whole life. I even experienced a teacher in HS ...who humiliated me from class for no reason. He separated me from the rest of the class from day one. It was traumatic & damaging to think about my whole life. This curse from these Jezebels are out to destroy the " PURE OF HEART"...THE EMPATHS..... This video had & has so much revelations on me & comp,ete understanding of the SPIRITUAL WARFARE against 2 VERY OPPOSITES. THE VICTIM & THE NARRACCIST. I will play this many times to let it sink in to my soul to recover the pieces of it's brokenness. So so beautiful you are my Brother in Christ ....thank you...PSALMS 91
I was made aware of this channel by a BFF and Christian Sister of mine because I struggle with the lifetime of narcissistic abuse I have suffered from. I have tried my whole life to figure out why I never fit in. Why I have always felt like the black sheep even though I’m a good person. Thank you Father for blessing me so richly through this channel. Thank you The Royal We
YOU'RE A BREATH OF FRESH AIR!...Pls, keep pushing out these biblically sound counsels for victims of abuse...If I were the devil I'll hate & attack u for this!!...But, bless God, the blood of Jesus & the Holy Spirit will always protect u!!!...God will richly bless u & u to distribute the blessings of freedom, IJNA... Shalom.
Thank you so much for your video. I totally see myself in what you are saying. Most of all I love how you include the word of God in this understanding and process. I've gone no contact with my mother and she influenced my dad to abandon me also and she is constantly throwing the Bible at me. I am a believer and very secure in my relationship with Jesus and she gaslights me for this. Quoting scripture on forgiveness and respecting parents. My realisation and healing has come after 40 yrs and clinical depression. I now know who my true parent is, He is our loving Father.... Thank you again. God bless you always
My adult children mistreat me just as their father did. I don't even know why they're turning against me. I love them so much. Their father was a serial cheater and raging narcissist. Yet he is condoned and forgotten. I'd never want them to hate him for all the evil and cruel things he did. I just don't want my love for my children to be misunderstood.
My 20 year old son says I think I am better than anyone else. I ignore , just bs. I believe in Jesus Christ , he doesn't, but it's not going to change how I feel. I know satan trys to use people close to you. 1 time went to a church in next state from mine with people from bible study. Came home that evening to a negative feeling and my cat cowering in the corner. Picked her up and petted her, I knew she could feel the negativity. My son came in room mad because I had traveled far said we were too poor to waste money on gas like that, I drove my car others from bible study gave me money for gas. He said I could have just went to my church or read bible at home alone. Devil couldn't stand the blessing I received by Going- saw it in his face. Spiritual warfare all around , some people just don't want to see. Peace and God Bless🙏☺💞
I was willing to walk. And I did. And became reacquainted with myself. I love the things I loved and I really like myself. 🤗. I was able to hold on to just a little bit of integrity just enough. Things are not perfect but I cannot look back. I do but limit things.
I do want to be like my family because they have a house, are stable, have eachother, have their husbands to take care of them and Im basically homeless. I live in an rv full time. Im pretty much the looser of the family. But somehow this live Im living fits into Gods plan for my life. I dont know how but Ill follow Him anywhere He takes me.
Have met so many retired teachers who still tell other adults to “be quiet!”, “pay attention!”, “don’t you ever learn?”… Can only guess how abusive they were in the classroom.
The more time passes, the less desire (if any) you will have to be around narcissists. You will never become enlightened to who really are until you separate from them. Respecting yourself and getting in touch with your own feelings is a gift. I'm thankful every day I was finally able to break away from the toxic people in my life. It took some time but I was finally able to clean house in my mind and soul. You wish your relationship could have been different but finally realize it never was or could be. Compromising yourself is never a choice. And trying to have a good relationship with people who do not have your best interest at heart is not a good path to take in life. Be your own hero.
For me, it's about 'time,' it's about the last straw. And it took me dying and being neglected y the healthcare system, to trigger the family having done the same to me in my greatest needs when needed defense against abuse. The family stuff helped me understand the plandemic power tripper controllers 'real well' and 'easily,.' I can smell gaslighting from a distance.
You can get along with them perfectly fine......you just have to lower your standards, agree with their nonsense, and accept their abuse.....And yes, they have no ability to Critically Think unless it involves attempting to manipulate people into their twisted realm.
I’m a retired art teacher and was blessed with principals who let me have full freedom with my curriculum. I loved letting my kids show their creativity and individual styles. But there was one teacher, in particular, who was a raging narcissist. She wanted to be the popular teacher and told me one time in a very snarky tone, “You’re the beloved art teacher.” Without going into the story, she raged on me one time, so angry that had the trash can not been in her way, she would have physically attacked me. I was horrified! She was fired the following year for problems she had with other teachers - and parents and students.
Oh my God. You just described the first 46 years of my life. FYI I’m 46. Just discovering narcissism; and that maybe everything in the world isn’t my fault.
Crow Quill...When will u throw those 'tarot' stuff away...& get filled with the true Spirit of your Father-God?... You're too precious for the counterfeit goods that the devil & this evil society are selling to you!...Call upon Jesus, & ask Him to fill u with the Holy Spirit... Blessings... Shalom.
IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE IN MY LIFE JUST TRIED TO CONTROL AND KILL ME...BEEN BY MYSELF LAST 10 YEARS... MISS COMPANIONSHIP...BUT NOT BEING YELLED AT OR BEATEN DOWN. BECAUSE I AM WHAT YOU MENTIONED THAT TYPE OF PERSON THAT IS STRONG IN SPIRIT...I HAVE MADE IT!!! BUT PRAY FOR A SIMILAR PARTNER SOMEDAY. BLESS YOU KEVIN FOR SEEING ME...NO ONE ELSE EVER HAS !💝
Oh. My. Gosh. On some subconscious level, I knew this but it is the THEME in all areas of my life! Mind blown. Great video. That is totally my life. I am stunned. Hand raised! Black sheep!!!! Yeehaaa! I totally want to spin on tbe hillside and burst in to singing, like Maria VonTrappe!
My sister called me a black sheep on my Dads funeral when, I was separated from my narc Husband .. it crushed me. When I asked her years later ..why she said that.. she never answered or apologized said nothing.. . I’ve longed for a loving family my entire life. My family has always put me down.. I was the one that broke away and left. It’s better to be lonely alone, than be lonely with a family that connection is a foreign thing .
Kevin. I can see why you didn’t fit it. You’re very talented in all areas of creativity as well as a gifted communicator and compassionate. A hard worker with dreams you follow. God bless you and your family as you continue to do what God is calling you to do.
Spot on 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Wow. I needed to hear this. I get why I've been the target of my father and brother. I've been self-employed in the creative arts for almost 30 years and it drives them crazy. Especially that I've made good money doing it. My life is WAY better. They also hate my popularity, charisma and that I have a lot of friends and am always making new ones. I am a big lover of life and everyone tells me I'm unique. I never got this until now. Thanks!
Growing up in a toxic environment with Narcs, I use to always go to my art for my escape. So much chaos in the house my art was my peace. It helped me cope with the pain.
What a confirmation!!! 😳 I know this was made a year ago, but i feel that God is talking to me... especially the last part...I just found your TH-cam channel and been listening to it non stop since Saturday lol but the last part about using our gifts, the Lord gave me a dream about 2-3 weeks ago about stirring up, setting aflame the gifts He put in me to start using it for the world!! I believe this is the time His children need to wake up and be who He called us to be and be about our Father's business!!!
Oh and I'm currently struggling with the pain of letting go (no contact), went no contact with the lead narcissist in my family, but others are now dropping me from things they saw on Facebook, nothing horrible but just the truth, anyway it's such a hard time right now, so I've been reaching out for support from people who truly love me, like for real 🤪 and encouraged by your videos! Thank you for using God's gift in you!!
Thank you for this video. I come from a big family. I put myself through college and became a successful administrator in the school system. I never fitted in with my family I often heard” who do you think you are” and you’re not special” even from my ex! I’ve been staying away and this video confirms I’m doing the right thing!!
🤚 that’s me :) I survived because I connected with my higher self early on and with my purpose. Now I am creating films, photography and music because I can’t help it, just happy to exist and wake up in the morning. Thanks 😊
It's the middle of the night here in Canada and I am having trouble sleeping because I am dealing with a number of narcissistic personalities in my life. I have been so sad for the last few days. I think the holy spirit lead me to this video. I have never recognized why I clash with narcissists. When you explained that it's because I'm highly intuitive, independent and unique, the light bulb went on in my head. I was able to understand that there is nothing necessarily wrong with me it's just they can't control me. Wow!! I can't stop assuming responsibility for their insecurities? It's not my fault? I believe from this day forward I will never handle that kind of relationship the same way. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Really!! Thank you 😊
I used to be like the person you're describing in action. Still am inside but then I developed epilepsy. I became more and more dependent. I didn't have room in my life for doing things "differently" (although I still tried). I did not do well with the narcissists but it just took me a lot longer to figure out what was going on. My NF was "helping" me with money (or "gift cards" really .... meaning he decided what he would contribute to, acting like I was a drug addict, he didn't want me to use it for the wrong things). His abuse was very subtle, I couldn't perceive any abuse but it was incredibly painful still.
Before I understood that many of the problems that I had as a child into adulthood, were because of a narcissist family, I hated myself and just wanted to fit in...sort of. Thankfully, I married a great man who told me he’d never have married me, if I was like my family. My God and my husband have kept me sane and secure in who I am and was created to be. Intuitive, creative, empathetic and strong.
Yep that's me. I'm the black sheep, the scapegoat. That is exactly how my parents talk to me, both of them might be narcissistic but definitely my mother. They say things like "you think you're so smart..." I can only tolerate a couple of hours being around them. I do have dreams and visions and am highly creative. It's all so true. I've been slowing going low contact with them. Its difficult because they constantly smother me with calls and texts. I just ignore it. Sadly, I am a teacher and I've suffered from other teachers treating me like absolute crap then they turn around and yell and scream at the kids. If you then speak up, you'll lose your job. That happened to me, and if its ran by narcissists you have no choice but to leave. I've been surrounded by narcissists, dated them, and now I've had enough!
Fantastic video - thank you. Two other issues also spring to mind - you think everyone else behaves in the way Kevin says by being intuitive and creative (what’s so wrong with that?) and find it so hard to believe that they would dish other people’s individualized gifts over control and two - no matter how much you try, narcs are too arrogant to change - hence the need to ‘crush’ - best to protect yourself and leave them to it
Thank you Kevin. I always wondered why I could never fit in with others and their thoughts and ways. They look at You as if you’re the weird one. 44yrs old and I finally understand it’s okay to be “not like everyone else”.
This is excellent stuff, Kevin! You hit the nail on the head here. I had to separate from my family because they were demanding that I drink the Kool-Aid and join in on activities that I couldn’t support and be in agreement with an agenda that I simply couldn’t go along with. They hated my freedom and independence, just like you said. Thank you for this excellent video!
I was the White Sheep, the "goodie two-shoes" who never got into trouble or did anything wrong. Oddly enough, the Golden Child is the one who was the Black Sheep, got into all kinds of trouble in high school, and was caught at it many times. :) I finally figured out what Critical Thinking was a few years ago, and THAT was the defining moment for me - empowering enough to walk away and stop voluntarily sharing my life experiences with the narc parent. It was tough! I had to LET GO of many people that were not really friends. But it has been worth it - and it gets better, the longer I go NO CONTACT!!!
This really made me cry and realize a lot! My kids where so bullyed by their principal I sometimes stood up for them, but most of the time I couldnt because I was coward, single mother, with a former narcissist now ex boyfriend. Controling mother with a debt in the school and because of me not able to pay the studies, the principal she punish me through my poor kids. Now they resent me and I do not blame them.
This resonated with me so much! Im the black sheep in my family and everything you said is so true! I’m so glad I escaped 10 years ago. I pack up my 3 kids and moved to another state been no contact since. Looking at my life today I’m so glad I got away when I did. Now my kids are all grown graduated hs and starting college. I’m so proud of myself! Awesome video!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Congrats ... U did it !! I hope that I have the guts to do so soon and stop letting the fear of being alone forever stop me and letting her cheat and lie ....
Tawn Figueroa...I thank God for u... Keep enjoying your freedom, & keep it by worshipping God, loving others & helping yourself...The Holy Spirit will lead u to some like-minded, liberated ppl who'll join forces with u...twds greater fruitfulness & fulfilment (see Gal.5:1,16-18; Heb.10:23-25; Ps.112)...Your past years & scars have not been wasted, but wisely invested, spiritually speaking!...Satan & his stubborn 'narc stooges' are the losers...You & your children, under God, have the Last Laugh!...Praise Jesus!... Shalom.
OMG - SO GOOD. My life story. I often say I would never swap my life - quiet, not too much money, simple, greta hubby and kids, no dramas, for the dysfunctional rich money filled lives with dysfunctional children they have. Never in a million years would I swap. never in a million years do I want to be like them. I haven't for over 30 years ...now I know why !! Its a gift ! Thank you .
Thank you for sharing. You're ministering to many people wounded people. ❤ Many of us are empaths which are non-complementary opposites to the narcissist who literally hate us - no matter how friendly, kind or loving we are to them, it'll ALWAYS result in them being cruel to us.
I was told I was weird by the GC in front of the egg bearer, and then everyone joined in. I heard this throughout my childhood, up until I moved out. They would all get mad when I would state that they were all boring for wearing gray and acting the same way. I knew I was different, and I hung onto that.
They are so big on control … except when it comes to themselves. I also believe they (even subconsciously) re-enact the narc patterns of dysfunction of the family and any threat to that ‘system’ must be crushed even though you were not ‘challenging’ them. In my case I was still the problem having lived on the other side of the planet for two decades! Go figure
Thank you so much, timing for this video is a miracle in itself! My sister came to see Dad for the 1st time this year, even though there was even laughter and no ill words the tension wore me out. And the teachers, oh my, this explains so much, I've always been attacked all my life but I'll still shine for the Lord Jesus Christ who gives me everything, even another day that others take for granted. God bless you and your family richly!
It's actually difficult living this out. It sounds so wonderful when you talk about it but actually walking this out? You need to be badass as hell, have a backbone and stand firm against any attempt at intimidation or coercion. It's made me such a savage
I've always been the black sheep. They call me a Maverick. This video is so me. I've had that trouble with the teachers as well. How ironic my wife is a teacher. I an empath a heyoka. I love the background music Kevin.
Spot on Kevin. Thank you. Always been seen as an outsider in the family, work, churches and neighbourhood. This has cleared up many issues believing i was the problem. Never been afraid to be different, so that's why!
Thank you so much for this. I needed this. The npd mother turned to me on the very day we buried Dad (I adored him) & stated:"you & I never got on. It's because of my Dad!" Silence. No apology. I left finally 2 weeks ago @ 61!!
Love this! When the protesting was going on I tuned out, my race doesn’t define me, God does. Never fit in all My life! I hate the group think my Earthly family is entrenched in, I refuse it everyday!!! Great message ❤️🙌🏾
I was told by a toxic family member that I think I'm better than every body else and mom thought I was more than what I was. I remain no contact with my narc parent and ALL of her toxic family members. I was scapegoated. I'm proudly independent and individualized. Praise God❤ Thanks for this video💯💕
Thank you for this wonderful info. I came accros the most terrible people in my life Piano teachers..male teachers in school..family..wish I could be like Joseph. And they still hurt inside me. Even if they are dead. Yes I was the Black sheep. Your u tube creations mean so much to me and many others! An I walked with Jesus because I had no one. Just bullies everywhere! I taught grade 1's of all races...I loved them as if I was a hen with chickens. They realised how I loved them and learned so well!
Thanks. I feel better now knowing that I am not the only one going through a lot only because we are genuine believers who are at the same time individuals. I wondered why one social worker who had just met me once after listening to me describe in summary what I had been through asked, "Do you think you are better than everyone else?" A girl friend of mine from junior high school who knows me well pointed it out to me that I will be better off remaining single now that I am older because as she put it -- You don't need a man and besides men your own age or older now that you are in retirement age will be tying you down with constant demands to be the center of your attention.
I never fit in with my family, Kevin. No matter how hard I tried. Every single scenario you described here has been my life. Thank you so much. 🦋🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🦋
Look I need support now. I'm the black sheep. My aunt is holding on to the last of my inheritance. I can't get legal help. I lost my business because of this plandemic. My rent is 3 months behind, and this money is enough for a small house in s small town. I have to try texting again. I've held it in prayer. I need this money. But more importantly, I need my family to stop holding onto me because they hate me.
there is a reason why they say if you do not know your right's you have none. look up correcting your status to a state citizen and not an American citizen and you wont worry about any inheritance anymore you can just claim what is your to begin with.
We can't get along with Narcissist but our struggles is worth it because we care for them... my mother and husband are Narcissist...and it's freaky hard..lol your videos helps a lot on dealing with it...Thank you The Royal We
My mother LOATHED my independence. She would complain to anyone in earshot how I never went along with what she thought I should be doing. Also, there were very few teachers who didn't try to shut me down. I'm NC with most of my family, and today was fantastic! I only gave myself 5 minutes to dwell on the question of why I suddenly had this overpowering reclusive feeling. Going to journal about that tomorrow while the apples are cooking. It's been almost 8 months NC, and I finally feel ALIVE!
Labeled "difficult?" True story: I had a friend who slipped up at a party she brought me to. The host was tslking to me, laughing a lot at what I was saying, and thoroughly enjoying my presence at her party. She even said, " You're so much fun and hilarious!" I love this girl!" The narc walked up, put her arm around me and said, " THIS is why I like Rainbo. She's so compliant." Totally awkward use of the word, but slso revealing. She thought she was being funny, and putting me down, but everyone around, including me, stopped laughing and looked horrified. Pin drop silence. I just looked at her, laughed and jokingly said, " Oh, I just let you think that." Boom! She left the party early, without saying anything. It was the only time I ever exposed a narc in front of people and that ended the friendship. I didn't realize what that was or why until this video.
I've had a similar experience. Narcissist can't stand to see people having a good time. Laughing. Notice when they laugh. It's Soo fake. Truly discusting
I just remembered this there were a huge family gathering and at that time i didnt feel like socializing and i told my narcissistic father and he said so you think you are better than everybody else
Great video, Kevin! I was the family scapegoat. Not an ounce of caring, love, or support. Nothing but constant rejection, disgust, and disapproval. Ended up in total isolation and disinherited from the family will. Do I emulate or respect my parents? Or other toxic family members? Not in the least! I will gladly stay independent, sane, and normal!
Wow! YES! Leaving those people behind-Mom, Dad, a Brother and a Sister, aunts, uncles, cousins.... I have contact with ONE sister in my whole family who is not like them. I left a church and all my 'friends' bcuz they sided with the covert narcissist 'ex' and I CRIED and questioned if I was just being self righteous and selfish BUT there was always a DEEP inner voice that said RUN, this is NOT right! U have to DO something and it's not to fix them, it's to love U. Thank u God for the help u provide through people like Kevin who are calling sin SIN and pointing out the narrow gate! U R doing GRT work, Kevin. Prayers and blessings for ur ministry!
I was definitely raised as the black sheep, but that doesn't define me anymore. Gone no-contact with my mom at 46(2019), which is hard bc she keeps sending me cards, I just need to not read them anymore... And with other toxic people needing to morph into "groups" totally makes sense; with my experience; and if they don't like my light, that's too bad!!
Wow! You are describing me.... I never could get along with my mother and meeting that narcissist, I caught on quick, 2months...he said how I knew when his ex wife took 6yrs...poor woman....
I’ve never heard of this before but I was an independent child and I am so in adulthood! I am codependent to some extent now given the beat downs but I always say that I am just trying to get back to my 14yr old self! Wow!
Amen2that: I'm celebrating leaving Mr.x 2 yrs ago as of 7-3-18 & I think I'll leave FB on that day as well, so tired of the control freaks there: who think I should fit into their box. Narcs & Flying Monkeys thrive via FB!!
All this you said ive been going through for years i didnt know these people were this awful but im an independent person they wanted control me my family and friends from school etc but i got away from them cut them all off few yrs back.
Being a tribelss person is a lonely existence, but at least it's better than staying with a tribe who really doesn't care about you.
Lost everyone leaving his control .. and of course he made sure of it.. lonely yes.. peacfilled hopeful free yes
Daniel C... I was about to comment the same thought... And yes, being different often is lonely
Sheep who all act the same but think their unique 🤣🤣🤣
👑💯🙌❤️ that’s the “decision” part.
The key was when Kevin said what narcissists need - control. It finally made sense! The rest of my family all did what our narcissistic father did; following in his footsteps. I was the only Christian, the worship leader, creative and musically talented and highly intuitive one. I even became a hair dresser. I got zero support, no appreciation or help with resources to cultivate any of it.. But I did some amazing things in my life. I did well. And when I married a good man who was successful and loving , the sbuse was cranked up. It actially played oit with narcs in my church life, too. I thought "I can't get along with ANYbody! I must be the problem." But after being away from them, I realized iit was evil attacking me through narcissistic people. I feel freed up in a way I haven't in a long time. The JOY is back.
It’s really amazing how I’m still on this earth at 50 yo after enduring so much narc abuse! God has been with me, and all survivors of narcissistic abuse! God bless us all!
Same here. If I wasn't Christian and know better, I'd have taken my life many a time because of this -- most painful, multi-directions, and from many sources ....the worst, family. This is supposed to be safe haven. And when it's not. What an isolating, painful, lonely spot. And the follows you! It totally led me to my intimacy with Jesus Christ though, so the "paradox is"...ultimately, I"m thankful for them.
If you are a free and independent person, which we all should be, then you will never get on with abusive, narcisistic people. Period. Thank you Kevin.
I never fitted, I never belonged...... I finally escaped.
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"God bless you"...
I’m on my way
Me too !!!!!!!!
Same here😳
Wow this is my life!! Constant attempts to break me down
🥺
Follow your light and ignore rest :)
@@Enceeeeeee I try
"I believe you" ...
Yes ! It"ll drive u in san if u allow them , it thought made me feel unworthy , hopeless , second guessing everything that I would do .😔 It's a very sick 🤢 cycle that they play 💔😭💔😭 I was told to leave from the beginning of the relationship ,I stand thinking I could get him to understand how much I loved him, how much I cared ! I never got through !! I gave all of me !!It even messed up my health ,💔THE it drove our 16 teen year -old to his death 😭💔😭💔🙏🏻💔🙏🏻 RUN ,CRY OUT TO GOD !! STAY ON YOUR KNEES !!! NEVER LOOK BACK !!🙏🏻💓🙏🏻💓🙏🏻GOD BLESS YOU !! YOU WILL OVERCOME !🙌❤️🙌💜❤️🙌
By the way fellow blacksheep: if you're as much of an individual as I am...you CANT BE ANYONE ELSE. You don't have that "ability". You are who you are and that won't EVER CHANGE.
Peace of mind comes when we stop try get along with toxic people, walk away and close the door. Distances yourself mentaly, emotionally, psychicaly be independent financially, emotionally and let them be dead for you.
Don't let no one to brake you.
Don't let others or life circumstances to stop you pursue your goals.
Goals without hard work are just dreams.
THIS IS ME!! HAVENT SPOKEN TO MY FAMILY IN 15 YEARS BECAUSE THEY ARE ALL HATEFUL JEALOUS NARCISSISTIC HATERS
You can NOT be manipulated- you call it out!
I am a critical thinker too and that's why I'm questioning what's going on in this world right now...from 'pandemic' to riots...! And family and friends think that I'm crazy! I see more narcissist people now than ever before!! Scary...Thank you Kevin for sharing your wisdom and knowledge! Love from England :)
You’re not alone 👑💯🙌❤️
@@TheRoyalWe Merci Kevin!! Good to know 😁♥️🙏
K-Lys Bliss
The government is actually intrumentalizing narcissism. Narcissists actually believes the government loves them like a mother would. The fuse with the "big mother". If you break their illusion they get a narcissistic wound. It's been done for ages. Simple mass-manipulation, you can read about it, step for step. It basiacly causes mass-psychosis.
Offender - victim - saviour.
Narcissists change that role so that it fits the current political agenda.
The governemts are "saving" us from a problem, they themselves created.
You are the victim, you are afraid and in panic. Narcissists enter a infantile-state this way, the can't handle the emotions and need ab emotional regulator. The governemt says it's our saviour but it's actually causing the problem in the first place. Does this sound familiar to you? It's exactly what cluster-B's do. They cause cognitive dissonance and manipulate you this way. Narcissists become the extension of the governemt this way. They think they are good and honorable people for wearing mouth-protection and when they are home again they abuse their family.
Brave new world.
@@andir8119 I couldn't agree more!!! Thank you so much for sharing Andi 🙏♥️
K-Lys Bliss
Thank you. 👀
When I saw a therapist for my family’s dysfunction and addictions, the topic of school came up. My therapist told me that schools are the most dysfunctional places there are.
Left social media and family because of the things you are talking about. I chose to go my own way.
I agree... I also think that we are psychologically in tune and tend to uncover their lies...expose their deceit and we don't do it on purpose... it's just how we are... and people hate it... the truth teller...the exposer... they flee in droves and in defense abuse us... and we are just innocently being ourselves... seeing the truth and speaking it... ; )
and when we expose their lies they tell us we are 'judgemental'
I told my narcissistic mother and sister one time that I was a dot connector. You should have seen the look on their faces. It was like a light bulb came on and they knew that I was on to them and all of their lies. I just acted normally afterwards, as if what I said was just a passing, matter of fact nugget of truth. But it landed like a bomb. It was quite revealing.
Yes they abuse us because of our gifts and how we see right through them,they hate our intelligence, they hate that God shows us things that others can't see. They hate that we are unique and authentic. They hate that we love deep conversation and that we don't try and control others. Most importantly they just hate that we are different.
The. Fact that people hate the truth never ceases to amaze me.When you are an empath and can “see” the truth clearly it is nearly impossible to engage in conversation w/. Toxic people. Most are so blind! And then we can seem like ‘know-it_alls’😒Ah, yes...ther is no sense in EVER trying to reason w/ a narc. Been there/done that😖. It was yrs. ago. Now, i just shuffle away from any such nonsense. Peace & my joy are far more important than “arguing” w/ a demon. 😔 Be sure to #1. Stay away from these creatures as best you can! #2 If you must be in their presence, stay as far away as possible.....do not engage. #3.Warn others to do the same/ educate people as to WHAT they are dealing with. It truly can be a matter of life & death (if they make you one of their TARGETS!!) EVIL & wickedness is their end game.....do not be fooled‼️ May God protect & guide you.😎❤
@@l.5832 It's the irony of ironies! The ridiculously sanctimonious folks hypocritically calling us "judgemental." They can DISH IT, but they sure can't take it back, ha ha!!
I was taught to hide my light.. thankfully I realized the toxic ways of my family & teachers ect... and no longer hide my light... I divorced my toxic family over a span of this past year. It wasn’t easy, and after grieving the separation life is so much better on the other side of it all... let go and create your life... we are worthy of appreciating our light... 🤗
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My former church elders actually expected opposite of Jesus, demanding compliance more than encouraging people to shine their light. Weird. Um....BYE!
Exactlly how I felt my whole life. The more light you have, the more the hate from them.
@Pedro Ivan Sanchez I feel you... your not alone
Yep!!! You're so on point!! I heard that a lot from my mother growing up.... "Who do you think you are" "You don't know how to be with a man" "Don't think you're special" When I was younger and she saw that I was happy & smiling she would just give me a look & I knew to shut it down & stop being so happy. I cut my mother out of my life a few years ago & my life is much better for it!!
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That's the worst. Sorry you had to ever hear that! Be happy! I think it's one level.deeper....they HATE true JOY. Ring the JOY bell, Friend!
Exactly 💯 Hate You For Having A Healthy SELF Esteem Even Tho Won't Teach You To Love SELF Because They Want To Dictate n Control.
I was eighteen years old when I decided I wasn't going to use people for personal gain like my sisters did. They called me a "goodie goodie" because I decided to never have a sugar daddy or "geese" men for their money. They never allowed us to have a sisterly bond but made lifelong friendships with other people. To this day they find fault with me or try to make me envy them by bragging about having this or that but I have integrity and compassion. They know this is something they will never have and they hate me for it.
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Nailed it!
My mother hated me . If I was a lying, cheating, using, cold, jealous witch as she is; I would have been adored Like my brother. It's better to suffer like CHRIST,in the end we will be with him, they won't.Hell is alot longer than 70,80, years on earth. 😊
I accidentally clicked on this video on Facebook last night and man oh man. I saw this for a reason. I feel like we've had such a similar experience. This guy gets it.
Glad you found it
I'm a black sheep 🐏🖤. I'm a designer 🐣 & I'm intuitive. I used to cry about it but when I grew up I realised that I don't need their validation. Constantly, being attacked is something I've never understood why they keep doing that! Thank your for the message. 🙏
Im the black sheep in the elem school where i am a highly successful, happy, creative, high energy counselor. It is hell.
@Maddy Grayson aww, thank you so much!!! You are a sweetheart!
@@tailsntrails Hang in there partner...we win in the end!
I bet, you're probably surrounded by societally programmed narcs! Fight on with joy.. The kids need you👼
@@soulthriver-oz6470 thank you partner!!
Hang in there. Be a beacon for the thinking children. Wish you were a counselor at my school growing up.
Raises both hands ☺. Eff those people, they have no idea how hard it is to make a life on your own. To dig your life out of nothing, to be really independent. They don't know when you cry, when you lonely, afraid and you still go on. I am proud to be different, to have my own mind. My own life.
Most powerful message I have ever heard describing my whole life. I am 56 yes. OLD & have had these Narraccists attack me my whole life. I even experienced a teacher in HS ...who humiliated me from class for no reason. He separated me from the rest of the class from day one. It was traumatic & damaging to think about my whole life. This curse from these Jezebels are out to destroy the " PURE OF HEART"...THE EMPATHS.....
This video had & has so much revelations on me & comp,ete understanding of the SPIRITUAL WARFARE against 2 VERY OPPOSITES. THE VICTIM & THE NARRACCIST. I will play this many times to let it sink in to my soul to recover the pieces of it's brokenness. So so beautiful you are my Brother in Christ ....thank you...PSALMS 91
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I don’t think that I am better than anyone. I raise others up and I expect the same.
I was made aware of this channel by a BFF and Christian Sister of mine because I struggle with the lifetime of narcissistic abuse I have suffered from. I have tried my whole life to figure out why I never fit in. Why I have always felt like the black sheep even though I’m a good person. Thank you Father for blessing me so richly through this channel. Thank you The Royal We
YOU'RE A BREATH OF FRESH AIR!...Pls, keep pushing out these biblically sound counsels for victims of abuse...If I were the devil I'll hate & attack u for this!!...But, bless God, the blood of Jesus & the Holy Spirit will always protect u!!!...God will richly bless u & u to distribute the blessings of freedom, IJNA... Shalom.
Thank you so much for your video. I totally see myself in what you are saying. Most of all I love how you include the word of God in this understanding and process. I've gone no contact with my mother and she influenced my dad to abandon me also and she is constantly throwing the Bible at me. I am a believer and very secure in my relationship with Jesus and she gaslights me for this. Quoting scripture on forgiveness and respecting parents. My realisation and healing has come after 40 yrs and clinical depression. I now know who my true parent is, He is our loving Father.... Thank you again. God bless you always
Even my own adult children bully me. Sick of it.
My adult children mistreat me just as their father did. I don't even know why they're turning against me. I love them so much. Their father was a serial cheater and raging narcissist. Yet he is condoned and forgotten. I'd never want them to hate him for all the evil and cruel things he did. I just don't want my love for my children to be misunderstood.
My son does that too
Me too, its painful.
My 20 year old son says I think I am better than anyone else. I ignore , just bs. I believe in Jesus Christ , he doesn't, but it's not going to change how I feel. I know satan trys to use people close to you. 1 time went to a church in next state from mine with people from bible study. Came home that evening to a negative feeling and my cat cowering in the corner. Picked her up and petted her, I knew she could feel the negativity. My son came in room mad because I had traveled far said we were too poor to waste money on gas like that, I drove my car others from bible study gave me money for gas. He said I could have just went to my church or read bible at home alone. Devil couldn't stand the blessing I received by Going- saw it in his face. Spiritual warfare all around , some people just don't want to see. Peace and God Bless🙏☺💞
I was willing to walk. And I did.
And became reacquainted with myself. I love the things I loved and I really like myself. 🤗. I was able to hold on to just a little bit of integrity just enough. Things are not perfect but I cannot look back. I do but limit things.
I do want to be like my family because they have a house, are stable, have eachother, have their husbands to take care of them and Im basically homeless. I live in an rv full time. Im pretty much the looser of the family. But somehow this live Im living fits into Gods plan for my life. I dont know how but Ill follow Him anywhere He takes me.
Scripture says, Is it worth it to gain the whole world and lose your soul? Never. Their future is very bleek. Follow JESUS.🤗
So true about the teachers, never thought of that...seems some police even clergy are safe havens for Narcissism
Have met so many retired teachers who still tell other adults to “be quiet!”, “pay attention!”, “don’t you ever learn?”… Can only guess how abusive they were in the classroom.
Oh yeah. Speaking as a pastors daughter
@@hissyfitz7890 not me. I'm an encouraging teacher. Talking up . Not all are
@@cathychase663 - AGREED! Not all.
The more time passes, the less desire (if any) you will have to be around narcissists. You will never become enlightened to who really are until you separate from them. Respecting yourself and getting in touch with your own feelings is a gift. I'm thankful every day I was finally able to break away from the toxic people in my life. It took some time but I was finally able to clean house in my mind and soul. You wish your relationship could have been different but finally realize it never was or could be. Compromising yourself is never a choice. And trying to have a good relationship with people who do not have your best interest at heart is not a good path to take in life. Be your own hero.
For me, it's about 'time,' it's about the last straw. And it took me dying and being neglected y the healthcare system, to trigger the family having done the same to me in my greatest needs when needed defense against abuse. The family stuff helped me understand the plandemic power tripper controllers 'real well' and 'easily,.' I can smell gaslighting from a distance.
I’ve heard my whole life, other ppl think I think I’m better than them lol I actually don’t! I just do what I want not what others want me to do x
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I heard it so much! no...I DON'T think that and I am done defending myself for it. And how narc-y of them to think THEY know what I am thinking.! LOL
Rainbo how cool what that be to have super human powers like telepathy? No secrets 😉
@@karen-j-6636 It's not like narcs aren't predictable once you know what they are. The more I like myself, the more they hate me.
Rainbo it’s funny af when they try to trigger you but you know it’s all lies 😂 he’s starting to look like a aids victim. Idk what I ever saw in him
You can get along with them perfectly fine......you just have to lower your standards, agree with their nonsense, and accept their abuse.....And yes, they have no ability to Critically Think unless it involves attempting to manipulate people into their twisted realm.
I’m a retired art teacher and was blessed with principals who let me have full freedom with my curriculum. I loved letting my kids show their creativity and individual styles. But there was one teacher, in particular, who was a raging narcissist. She wanted to be the popular teacher and told me one time in a very snarky tone, “You’re the beloved art teacher.” Without going into the story, she raged on me one time, so angry that had the trash can not been in her way, she would have physically attacked me. I was horrified! She was fired the following year for problems she had with other teachers - and parents and students.
Oh my God. You just described the first 46 years of my life. FYI I’m 46. Just discovering narcissism; and that maybe everything in the world isn’t my fault.
Thank God I was the black sheep (the scapegoat)...what a blessing. Thank you, Kevin.
Crow Quill...When will u throw those 'tarot' stuff away...& get filled with the true Spirit of your Father-God?... You're too precious for the counterfeit goods that the devil & this evil society are selling to you!...Call upon Jesus, & ask Him to fill u with the Holy Spirit... Blessings... Shalom.
This is me and i appreciate your time and help i just got a huge boost from this I'm gonna stay myself.
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IT SEEMS LIKE EVERYONE IN MY LIFE JUST TRIED TO CONTROL AND KILL ME...BEEN BY MYSELF LAST 10 YEARS...
MISS COMPANIONSHIP...BUT NOT BEING YELLED AT OR BEATEN DOWN.
BECAUSE I AM WHAT YOU MENTIONED THAT TYPE OF PERSON THAT IS STRONG IN SPIRIT...I HAVE MADE IT!!! BUT PRAY FOR A SIMILAR PARTNER SOMEDAY.
BLESS YOU KEVIN FOR SEEING ME...NO ONE ELSE EVER HAS !💝
Oh. My. Gosh. On some subconscious level, I knew this but it is the THEME in all areas of my life! Mind blown. Great video. That is totally my life. I am stunned. Hand raised! Black sheep!!!! Yeehaaa! I totally want to spin on tbe hillside and burst in to singing, like Maria VonTrappe!
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Ain't it the truth! 🎉 💯
Truthers are huge thorn in the narcs side
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My sister called me a black sheep on my Dads funeral when, I was separated from my narc Husband .. it crushed me. When I asked her years later ..why she said that.. she never answered or apologized said nothing.. . I’ve longed for a loving family my entire life. My family has always put me down.. I was the one that broke away and left. It’s better to be lonely alone, than be lonely with a family that connection is a foreign thing .
Kevin. I can see why you didn’t fit it. You’re very talented in all areas of creativity as well as a gifted communicator and compassionate. A hard worker with dreams you follow. God bless you and your family as you continue to do what God is calling you to do.
Spot on 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Wow. I needed to hear this. I get why I've been the target of my father and brother. I've been self-employed in the creative arts for almost 30 years and it drives them crazy. Especially that I've made good money doing it. My life is WAY better. They also hate my popularity, charisma and that I have a lot of friends and am always making new ones. I am a big lover of life and everyone tells me I'm unique. I never got this until now. Thanks!
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All my life my family has been telling me that I think I'm better than everybody, but I don't. You are spot on.
Kevin- ur spot on! It takes faith in God & courage & fellowship (Royal) to survive narcs. We are not alone. Thanks
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Growing up in a toxic environment with Narcs, I use to always go to my art for my escape. So much chaos in the house my art was my peace. It helped me cope with the pain.
What a confirmation!!! 😳 I know this was made a year ago, but i feel that God is talking to me... especially the last part...I just found your TH-cam channel and been listening to it non stop since Saturday lol but the last part about using our gifts, the Lord gave me a dream about 2-3 weeks ago about stirring up, setting aflame the gifts He put in me to start using it for the world!! I believe this is the time His children need to wake up and be who He called us to be and be about our Father's business!!!
Oh and I'm currently struggling with the pain of letting go (no contact), went no contact with the lead narcissist in my family, but others are now dropping me from things they saw on Facebook, nothing horrible but just the truth, anyway it's such a hard time right now, so I've been reaching out for support from people who truly love me, like for real 🤪 and encouraged by your videos! Thank you for using God's gift in you!!
Remember the fourth commandment KJV is reminding us of Genesis 2:2&3.
Abuse comes in countless ways. Time to recognize it and remove it. All of it.
Thank you for this video. I come from a big family. I put myself through college and became a successful administrator in the school system. I never fitted in with my family I often heard” who do you think you are” and you’re not special” even from my ex!
I’ve been staying away and this video confirms I’m doing the right thing!!
Black sheep turned into a black butterfly
🤚 that’s me :) I survived because I connected with my higher self early on and with my purpose. Now I am creating films, photography and music because I can’t help it, just happy to exist and wake up in the morning. Thanks 😊
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Thank you 😊🙇♂️
God bless you in Jesus name
It's the middle of the night here in Canada and I am having trouble sleeping because I am dealing with a number of narcissistic personalities in my life. I have been so sad for the last few days. I think the holy spirit lead me to this video. I have never recognized why I clash with narcissists. When you explained that it's because I'm highly intuitive, independent and unique, the light bulb went on in my head. I was able to understand that there is nothing necessarily wrong with me it's just they can't control me. Wow!! I can't stop assuming responsibility for their insecurities? It's not my fault? I believe from this day forward I will never handle that kind of relationship the same way. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Really!! Thank you 😊
I used to be like the person you're describing in action. Still am inside but then I developed epilepsy. I became more and more dependent. I didn't have room in my life for doing things "differently" (although I still tried). I did not do well with the narcissists but it just took me a lot longer to figure out what was going on. My NF was "helping" me with money (or "gift cards" really .... meaning he decided what he would contribute to, acting like I was a drug addict, he didn't want me to use it for the wrong things). His abuse was very subtle, I couldn't perceive any abuse but it was incredibly painful still.
Before I understood that many of the problems that I had as a child into adulthood, were because of a narcissist family, I hated myself and just wanted to fit in...sort of. Thankfully, I married a great man who told me he’d never have married me, if I was like my family. My God and my husband have kept me sane and secure in who I am and was created to be. Intuitive, creative, empathetic and strong.
You are the best self-help coach I have ever seen
Impartiality in the sense of justice is also very important. It is part of Godly wisdom. Keep going brother!
THANK YOU! The Lord always speaks through you the exact message I need to hear. Praise His Name!
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Yep that's me. I'm the black sheep, the scapegoat. That is exactly how my parents talk to me, both of them might be narcissistic but definitely my mother. They say things like "you think you're so smart..." I can only tolerate a couple of hours being around them. I do have dreams and visions and am highly creative. It's all so true. I've been slowing going low contact with them. Its difficult because they constantly smother me with calls and texts. I just ignore it. Sadly, I am a teacher and I've suffered from other teachers treating me like absolute crap then they turn around and yell and scream at the kids. If you then speak up, you'll lose your job. That happened to me, and if its ran by narcissists you have no choice but to leave. I've been surrounded by narcissists, dated them, and now I've had enough!
Fantastic video - thank you. Two other issues also spring to mind - you think everyone else behaves in the way Kevin says by being intuitive and creative (what’s so wrong with that?) and find it so hard to believe that they would dish other people’s individualized gifts over control and two - no matter how much you try, narcs are too arrogant to change - hence the need to ‘crush’ - best to protect yourself and leave them to it
Thank you Kevin. I always wondered why I could never fit in with others and their thoughts and ways. They look at
You as if you’re the weird one. 44yrs old and I finally understand it’s okay to be “not like everyone else”.
Omg I’m crying real tears 😭
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♥️♥️ We go this.
This is excellent stuff, Kevin! You hit the nail on the head here. I had to separate from my family because they were demanding that I drink the Kool-Aid and join in on activities that I couldn’t support and be in agreement with an agenda that I simply couldn’t go along with. They hated my freedom and independence, just like you said. Thank you for this excellent video!
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I was the White Sheep, the "goodie two-shoes" who never got into trouble or did anything wrong. Oddly enough, the Golden Child is the one who was the Black Sheep, got into all kinds of trouble in high school, and was caught at it many times. :) I finally figured out what Critical Thinking was a few years ago, and THAT was the defining moment for me - empowering enough to walk away and stop voluntarily sharing my life experiences with the narc parent. It was tough! I had to LET GO of many people that were not really friends. But it has been worth it - and it gets better, the longer I go NO CONTACT!!!
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@@karlacoppock3797 you do not "announce". You just do it. It's YOUR life, and is not subject to the obligation of informing a narc. :)
happy for you ❤️
I agree...being able to see the nuances of any situation drives the narrow minded absolutely crazy.
@@johnnyappleseed6960 that's very deep, and very true.
They hate you because they hate themselves
This really made me cry and realize a lot! My kids where so bullyed by their principal I sometimes stood up for them, but most of the time I couldnt because I was coward, single mother, with a former narcissist now ex boyfriend. Controling mother with a debt in the school and because of me not able to pay the studies, the principal she punish me through my poor kids. Now they resent me and I do not blame them.
This resonated with me so much! Im the black sheep in my family and everything you said is so true! I’m so glad I escaped 10 years ago. I pack up my 3 kids and moved to another state been no contact since. Looking at my life today I’m so glad I got away when I did. Now my kids are all grown graduated hs and starting college. I’m so proud of myself! Awesome video!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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Congrats ... U did it !!
I hope that I have the guts to do so soon and stop letting the fear of being alone forever stop me and letting her cheat and lie ....
Tawn Figueroa...I thank God for u... Keep enjoying your freedom, & keep it by worshipping God, loving others & helping yourself...The Holy Spirit will lead u to some like-minded, liberated ppl who'll join forces with u...twds greater fruitfulness & fulfilment (see Gal.5:1,16-18; Heb.10:23-25; Ps.112)...Your past years & scars have not been wasted, but wisely invested, spiritually speaking!...Satan & his stubborn 'narc stooges' are the losers...You & your children, under God, have the Last Laugh!...Praise Jesus!... Shalom.
OMG - SO GOOD. My life story. I often say I would never swap my life - quiet, not too much money, simple, greta hubby and kids, no dramas, for the dysfunctional rich money filled lives with dysfunctional children they have. Never in a million years would I swap. never in a million years do I want to be like them. I haven't for over 30 years ...now I know why !! Its a gift ! Thank you .
Thank you for sharing. You're ministering to many people wounded people. ❤
Many of us are empaths which are non-complementary opposites to the narcissist who literally hate us - no matter how friendly, kind or loving we are to them, it'll ALWAYS result in them being cruel to us.
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I was told I was weird by the GC in front of the egg bearer, and then everyone joined in. I heard this throughout my childhood, up until I moved out. They would all get mad when I would state that they were all boring for wearing gray and acting the same way. I knew I was different, and I hung onto that.
I'm a scapegoat cause some toxic narc family member made me a scapegoat .
Yes you are right💯my father and siblings don’t say I know everything they overtalk and ignore me👎😡
They are so big on control … except when it comes to themselves. I also believe they (even subconsciously) re-enact the narc patterns of dysfunction of the family and any threat to that ‘system’ must be crushed even though you were not ‘challenging’ them. In my case I was still the problem having lived on the other side of the planet for two decades! Go figure
Thank you so much, timing for this video is a miracle in itself! My sister came to see Dad for the 1st time this year, even though there was even laughter and no ill words the tension wore me out. And the teachers, oh my, this explains so much, I've always been attacked all my life but I'll still shine for the Lord Jesus Christ who gives me everything, even another day that others take for granted. God bless you and your family richly!
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Kevin, This was one of your best videos! I found it very insightful and it really hit home with me. God bless you buddy 👍
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I can't thank you enough for your recent content! It's solid truth people like me need to constantly hear. My parents still try to control me at 24!
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It's actually difficult living this out. It sounds so wonderful when you talk about it but actually walking this out? You need to be badass as hell, have a backbone and stand firm against any attempt at intimidation or coercion. It's made me such a savage
I've always been the black sheep. They call me a Maverick. This video is so me. I've had that trouble with the teachers as well. How ironic my wife is a teacher. I an empath a heyoka. I love the background music Kevin.
Spot on Kevin. Thank you. Always been seen as an outsider in the family, work, churches and neighbourhood. This has cleared up many issues believing i was the problem. Never been afraid to be different, so that's why!
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Thank you so much for this. I needed this. The npd mother turned to me on the very day we buried Dad (I adored him) & stated:"you & I never got on. It's because of my Dad!" Silence. No apology. I left finally 2 weeks ago @ 61!!
The teachers that bullied, I ignored! The teachers that encouraged me. The teachers that danced to their own beat I always loved.
Love this! When the protesting was going on I tuned out, my race doesn’t define me, God does. Never fit in all
My life! I hate the group think my
Earthly family is entrenched in, I refuse it everyday!!! Great message ❤️🙌🏾
I was told by a toxic family member that I think I'm better than every body else and mom thought I was more than what I was. I remain no contact with my narc parent and ALL of her toxic family members. I was scapegoated. I'm proudly independent and individualized. Praise God❤ Thanks for this video💯💕
Thank you for this wonderful info. I came accros the most terrible people in my life Piano teachers..male teachers in school..family..wish I could be like Joseph. And they still hurt inside me. Even if they are dead. Yes I was the Black sheep. Your u tube creations mean so much to me and many others! An I walked with Jesus because I had no one. Just bullies everywhere! I taught grade 1's of all races...I loved them as if I was a hen with chickens. They realised how I loved them and learned so well!
Thanks. I feel better now knowing that I am not the only one going through a lot only because we are genuine believers who are at the same time individuals. I wondered why one social worker who had just met me once after listening to me describe in summary what I had been through asked, "Do you think you are better than everyone else?" A girl friend of mine from junior high school who knows me well pointed it out to me that I will be better off remaining single now that I am older because as she put it -- You don't need a man and besides men your own age or older now that you are in retirement age will be tying you down with constant demands to be the center of your attention.
I never fit in with my family, Kevin. No matter how hard I tried. Every single scenario you described here has been my life. Thank you so much. 🦋🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🦋
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Look I need support now. I'm the black sheep. My aunt is holding on to the last of my inheritance. I can't get legal help.
I lost my business because of this plandemic.
My rent is 3 months behind, and this money is enough for a small house in s small town.
I have to try texting again. I've held it in prayer.
I need this money. But more importantly, I need my family to stop holding onto me because they hate me.
🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for you!
@@fifilafleur5555
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there is a reason why they say if you do not know your right's you have none. look up correcting your status to a state citizen and not an American citizen and you wont worry about any inheritance anymore you can just claim what is your to begin with.
I pray God gives you what is yours i pray you get your inheritance and the enemies plans are canceled in Jesus name amen !!!!!
We can't get along with Narcissist but our struggles is worth it because we care for them... my mother and husband are Narcissist...and it's freaky hard..lol your videos helps a lot on dealing with it...Thank you The Royal We
My mother LOATHED my independence. She would complain to anyone in earshot how I never went along with what she thought I should be doing. Also, there were very few teachers who didn't try to shut me down. I'm NC with most of my family, and today was fantastic! I only gave myself 5 minutes to dwell on the question of why I suddenly had this overpowering reclusive feeling. Going to journal about that tomorrow while the apples are cooking. It's been almost 8 months NC, and I finally feel ALIVE!
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Labeled "difficult?" True story: I had a friend who slipped up at a party she brought me to. The host was tslking to me, laughing a lot at what I was saying, and thoroughly enjoying my presence at her party. She even said, " You're so much fun and hilarious!" I love this girl!" The narc walked up, put her arm around me and said, " THIS is why I like Rainbo. She's so compliant." Totally awkward use of the word, but slso revealing. She thought she was being funny, and putting me down, but everyone around, including me, stopped laughing and looked horrified. Pin drop silence. I just looked at her, laughed and jokingly said, " Oh, I just let you think that." Boom! She left the party early, without saying anything. It was the only time I ever exposed a narc in front of people and that ended the friendship. I didn't realize what that was or why until this video.
I've had a similar experience. Narcissist can't stand to see people having a good time. Laughing. Notice when they laugh. It's Soo fake. Truly discusting
I just remembered this there were a huge family gathering and at that time i didnt feel like socializing and i told my narcissistic father and he said so you think you are better than everybody else
Great video, Kevin! I was the family scapegoat. Not an ounce of caring, love, or support. Nothing but constant rejection, disgust, and disapproval. Ended up in total isolation and disinherited from the family will.
Do I emulate or respect my parents? Or other toxic family members? Not in the least! I will gladly stay independent, sane, and normal!
you are so right i am healthily self-differentiated from EVERYONE in my family. yet when i tried to be and fit in I was also rejected.
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Exactly. Even when we tried to conform, they'd just move the goal post. We were never going to me accepted, anyway.
@@rain3743 that's true 🙁
They are extremely jealous. It's quite sad to witness. They seem to all play by the same playbook
I always wondered why I was so different from my siblings…I always thought someone prayed over me…and wonder who did 🙏
I was always told that I was stubborn...I will not be controlled... and I'm always asking questions that no one wants to ask....🤷🏾♀️
Wow! YES! Leaving those people behind-Mom, Dad, a Brother and a Sister, aunts, uncles, cousins.... I have contact with ONE sister in my whole family who is not like them. I left a church and all my 'friends' bcuz they sided with the covert narcissist 'ex' and I CRIED and questioned if I was just being self righteous and selfish BUT there was always a DEEP inner voice that said RUN, this is NOT right! U have to DO something and it's not to fix them, it's to love U. Thank u God for the help u provide through people like Kevin who are calling sin SIN and pointing out the narrow gate! U R doing GRT work, Kevin. Prayers and blessings for ur ministry!
🙋🏽♀️…always felt different!! Kevin , in this moment, listening to your voice , I feel like you’ve dissected my whole life!! 🙈😔
Wow! The "You think you're better than everyone else" quote, rang a loud bell. This video is absolutely spot on.
I was definitely raised as the black sheep, but that doesn't define me anymore. Gone no-contact with my mom at 46(2019), which is hard bc she keeps sending me cards, I just need to not read them anymore...
And with other toxic people needing to morph into "groups" totally makes sense; with my experience; and if they don't like my light, that's too bad!!
Wow! You are describing me.... I never could get along with my mother and meeting that narcissist, I caught on quick, 2months...he said how I knew when his ex wife took 6yrs...poor woman....
I’ve never heard of this before but I was an independent child and I am so in adulthood! I am codependent to some extent now given the beat downs but I always say that I am just trying to get back to my 14yr old self! Wow!
Amen2that: I'm celebrating leaving Mr.x 2 yrs ago as of 7-3-18 & I think I'll leave FB on that day as well, so tired of the control freaks there: who think I should fit into their box. Narcs & Flying Monkeys thrive via FB!!
All this you said ive been going through for years i didnt know these people were this awful but im an independent person they wanted control me my family and friends from school etc but i got away from them cut them all off few yrs back.
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