Thanks for watching! Don't forget to get your free Communication Milestones Chart here: brightestbeginning.com/communicationmilestoneschart/?lead_source=youtube_201
My daughter is 22 months and she is usually pretty good at listening. But getting her attention is hard at times. I tried your technique of getting her attention and asked her "Luna, put your block in the box" while pointing at the box where they go. She instantly knew what to do and did it. Wow. Great advice Emma. Thanks
This is great. As a young mom I always added the word "please" to each instruction. And added "thank you" into the praise at the end. I'll be doing this with my 1 y/o granddaughter soon as well.
I'm sending this video to my wife right now so she can give me directions whenever she wants me to do something for her and I'm not picking up her signals 😂
In our daycare I use many of these strategies, which can be especially useful with children and challenging behaviors. I found it especially important to learn how to give an instruction, rather than a request - giving praise afterward and seeing the pride in themselves is their reward, but it's joy for us the grown-ups to see them achieve with guidance :)
It's so funny how close this process is to training dogs. Tone is so important in dog training. And you have to make sure the dog knows all the parts of a complicated command. For example, chasing a ball, picking up a ball, bringing the ball back to you, and releasing the ball into your hand to play fetch are all different skills.
Yeah. Some people are a little sensitive to this. Not always a good idea to say out loud that you've trained dogs the same way you train children when somebody praises you for being good with kids.
Great tutorial! I think it's also important to narrate as much of life as possible when a child is a baby. That way, when you ask them to put on their shoes, they've already heard "let's put on your shoes" or similar. It's an easier shift from you doing it for them to them doing it themselves. That verbal language input will help them give them a leg up with the context to better understand instructions as they become old enough to act on the instructions.
Sounds about right. Being in my 30s, I still wish my superiors at work would point out a clear task to me instead of vaguely describing a project and then wanting it done by yesterday...
Persistence pays. Expect obedience. Expect co-operation. Smile in anticipation. You are the adult; they are a toddler, learning to be. Take charge calmly. This is parenting... do not be afraid... 🙂👍
My 3 year old (almost 4) is able to follow directions, but often tells me she doesn't want to, or simply say "I won't" and turns floppy. I feel like I need a different kind of advice for how to cajole a heel dragging preschooler. lolsob My 19mo is very keen to help, but often struggles to follow directions, and I think it's literally just that she's still learning the words for things. She gets so excited when she realizes a new word, I love it.
So good that you mention that waiting point! And also explaining to step in, if the toddler isn’t responding. I think that’s a really common mistake from parents side. To not interfere and just repeating, getting frustrated and sometimes screaming.
Older children and adults .. you don't touch them to get their attention. That's incredibly rude. It's fun stripping away the long-learned concept of personal space to deal with a toddler 😄
My boy became rambunctious and bit, hit, kicked and so on when I just gave him the instruction to go to the toilet. Simple task, he is old enough to go by himself. I always thought, he is intelligent, he can easily do all this stuff, no need to praise him for stuff he easily can do. BUT the last days have been mind boggling, I praised him for every little bit he did and now he goes to the toilet almost without protest! I still have to accompany him, but he goes. What on earth?!?!
Thanks god for this! I worked at a childcare facility for a while and couldn't understand how asking a child to do something turned into "do you want to pick it up?" The child has a choice to do it instead of listening to their teacher. It was difficult to have a child pick after themselves since at home the parents gave them choices.
Yeah. I grew up with several younger siblings, and since we were homeschooled by my teens, and also all dairy farmer together, I was m/l in charge of them much of the time. My Dad was pretty "old school" but could be randomly touchy about things, esp. coming from someone who's not him, so he didn't like it if I sounded to commanding-ish, even tho he also expected obedience what-not from youngers towards olders.. . So, I adjusted gradually since then to say it more like "would you please" , and with my siblings honestly that was usually totally fine. They knew it was a command &/or real need in middle of farm chores, and no big deal although for me, in middle of hectic work ( & being held overly responsible for too much) sometimes didn't really have time & energy for making it "pretty" vrs. a simple command in a decent tone of voice, which I think most of us were fine with.. 🤷🙄. Anyway, now, we have a child ( 12, boy) of friends, sorta unofficial foster kid situation, staying with us indefinitely at moment ( don't worry, courts are involved). He is a game- playing, button-pushing lil guy w tons of energy. Having to be very clear and firm and bossy, while also cheerful, calm and as casual as I can, while he still either acts innocent or offended or whatever at the slightest whim.. . Wish I had farm work here to use up some more of that energy he spends on drama and mind games... . (Figuring it out, doing what I can.. ).
I wish I found your channel earlier, I hope you can answer me …my baby won’t make eye contact with me when I hold her but she would if someone else holds her and would the same with others.. when I hold her she would look to her left or right, she also do shudder attack like three times a day…. She’s almost 7 months old
Thank you for all the great information. I have been following your channel for a while and I just wanted to let you know if you were not aware of your head tilts towards your hair parted side and that could strain your neck.
What puzzles me is what you said in the beginning: your older children don't follow instructions as well as the toddler. Does this mean this method has not a long term effect?
This doesn’t relate to the video but what should I do when my 21month old start “hitting” the floor or an object next to him when he accidentally gets hurt or he feels frustrated or startled? I feel like he’s doing that because he doesn’t know how to control his big emotions but I’ve been struggling guiding him. I’ve tried acknowledging his feelings and emotions, explaining him the situation/the event that just took place and re-enacting what he’s done and showing him how to act in those situations but nothing has been working..
Ma'am please make a video on does it affects the development of the baby if the baby refuses to sleep on crib or bed or on floor but will sleep in lap . Also why babies refuses to sleep on crib but will sleep in lap.
Hi! It doesn't affect their development. It can just be hard on you as the parents (as it can be extremely tiring) and dangerous for them (if you fall asleep while holding them). They often sleep on you because that's how they have learnt to fall asleep. To move away from this, we need to help them learn how to fall asleep in the crib.
Babies need to feel that their parents and source of protection are nearby and they also thrive off of physical touch. Feeling an adult breathing and their heart rate can help regulate a baby's breathing and heart rate. Babies, especially under 1 year, are not meant to sleep alone. Let your baby sleep on you. Try baby wraps so you can carry them around while getting things done.
I thought giving your child a choice versus an order makes them feel empowered. You will eat your brocoli versus giving them options. Would you like brocoli or asparagus? Now they have power, and both are healthy options. Please elaborate
There are plenty of times when allowing a choice is appropriate and should be given. I think this video addresses commands that need to be obeyed. A child can choose which color shirt to wear, but they can't choose not to get dressed at all.
Hi Emma, I need help please 😢. I’m so stressed 😢. I have a week old baby, she passed her hearing test at the hospital. However , my sister was placing a canvas to the wall yesterday in my room and was using a hammer. The hammering sound was so loud . I was sitting in the living room and rushed to get the baby out of the room when I heard my sister hammering to put the canvas. Unfortunately, I couldn’t run because I had a c section so my baby heard the very loud nose for about 1 minute. I’m wondering if that could affect her hearing😢. I’m so scared 😢. Anyone any advice please 😢. I tried google and google keep telling me the baby head might damaged😭
The hammering noise shouldn’t have harmed her hearing. 1st time mom here, and I thought something similar from my baby hearing extremely loud music once for an hour. Her hearing is still great. But if you’re still worried or concerned, check in with your babies pediatrician.
Most babies do not react to loud noises at that age, simply because hearing the noise requires that they focus on the sound. If their focus is elsewhere they do not aknowledge that noise. My baby could sleep during loud heavy metal music (ofcourse not unreasonably loud), but if my feet did a cracking sound while I left her room at night to go to the toilet, she would instantly wake up and cry.....
Hi! How to make them listen, when they might be having some feeling ,can't share properly, and watching TV like they can't hear ,understand, come to you.
Hi.my younger boy who is only 3 years old always scratch others.(his elder brother espclly..and we parentts lso)whenver he gets angry..and when i ask him to say sorry he doesnt even feel sorry for wht hee did.how can i help him?any tips. My elder boy is very patient and loves to share and play vt younger..bt small one doesnt corporate much ..
I wouldn't force them to say Sorry when they don't feel sorry. Let them know what they did wrong (how it made the other person feel) and guide them in making amends or restitution is a different way of addressing it.
Mine could at 2. She was very proud and got lots of praise. Now at 3 she is more "selective" about when she feels like putting on her shoes and it is difficult for me to remember praising her in at positive tone when it took 45 minutes to put on shoes....but I still praise her. Works about 85% at this age is my experience :)
Thanks for watching! Don't forget to get your free Communication Milestones Chart here: brightestbeginning.com/communicationmilestoneschart/?lead_source=youtube_201
We need this for our politicians.
My daughter is 22 months and she is usually pretty good at listening. But getting her attention is hard at times. I tried your technique of getting her attention and asked her "Luna, put your block in the box" while pointing at the box where they go. She instantly knew what to do and did it. Wow. Great advice Emma. Thanks
Wow I am so impressed you have already tried it! Hopefully getting her attention becomes a little easier!
This is great. As a young mom I always added the word "please" to each instruction. And added "thank you" into the praise at the end. I'll be doing this with my 1 y/o granddaughter soon as well.
I am not even a mother and I find these videos so insightful. Thank you.
That’s wonderful to hear!
I'm sending this video to my wife right now so she can give me directions whenever she wants me to do something for her and I'm not picking up her signals 😂
😂😂
In our daycare I use many of these strategies, which can be especially useful with children and challenging behaviors. I found it especially important to learn how to give an instruction, rather than a request - giving praise afterward and seeing the pride in themselves is their reward, but it's joy for us the grown-ups to see them achieve with guidance :)
I’m a grownup and I still don’t like it when my wife asks a question when she wants me to
do a simple task. 😂❤
😂
It's so funny how close this process is to training dogs. Tone is so important in dog training. And you have to make sure the dog knows all the parts of a complicated command. For example, chasing a ball, picking up a ball, bringing the ball back to you, and releasing the ball into your hand to play fetch are all different skills.
I picked up on this, and it makes me feel guilty! But then it seems effective so I keep going back to it 😂
Yeah. Some people are a little sensitive to this. Not always a good idea to say out loud that you've trained dogs the same way you train children when somebody praises you for being good with kids.
Great tutorial! I think it's also important to narrate as much of life as possible when a child is a baby. That way, when you ask them to put on their shoes, they've already heard "let's put on your shoes" or similar. It's an easier shift from you doing it for them to them doing it themselves. That verbal language input will help them give them a leg up with the context to better understand instructions as they become old enough to act on the instructions.
This video was released at such a great time for my wife and I after this past week😂😂
😂 Hopefully it helps!
Same here lol
Sounds about right. Being in my 30s, I still wish my superiors at work would point out a clear task to me instead of vaguely describing a project and then wanting it done by yesterday...
My toddler doesn’t whine she just pushes me away and continue playing 😂 it’s going to be a fun time over here
Persistence pays. Expect obedience. Expect co-operation. Smile in anticipation. You are the adult; they are a toddler, learning to be. Take charge calmly. This is parenting... do not be afraid... 🙂👍
Same
Reminder to link the video about reactions to complaining. I’d love to see it!
This video came right on time! Thank you! 😊
Perfect!
My 3 year old (almost 4) is able to follow directions, but often tells me she doesn't want to, or simply say "I won't" and turns floppy. I feel like I need a different kind of advice for how to cajole a heel dragging preschooler. lolsob
My 19mo is very keen to help, but often struggles to follow directions, and I think it's literally just that she's still learning the words for things. She gets so excited when she realizes a new word, I love it.
3:12 A firm "Naur."
So good that you mention that waiting point! And also explaining to step in, if the toddler isn’t responding.
I think that’s a really common mistake from parents side. To not interfere and just repeating, getting frustrated and sometimes screaming.
Older children and adults .. you don't touch them to get their attention. That's incredibly rude. It's fun stripping away the long-learned concept of personal space to deal with a toddler 😄
@ ??
I totally get what serenity is saying. I just don’t know what it has to do with my comment 😅
This video is just in time Emma! Thank you! ❤
You're so welcome!
My boy became rambunctious and bit, hit, kicked and so on when I just gave him the instruction to go to the toilet. Simple task, he is old enough to go by himself. I always thought, he is intelligent, he can easily do all this stuff, no need to praise him for stuff he easily can do. BUT the last days have been mind boggling, I praised him for every little bit he did and now he goes to the toilet almost without protest! I still have to accompany him, but he goes. What on earth?!?!
i just found your account and i LOVEEEEE it
Very good summary and explanation…. Will share with my students…
Thanks god for this! I worked at a childcare facility for a while and couldn't understand how asking a child to do something turned into "do you want to pick it up?" The child has a choice to do it instead of listening to their teacher. It was difficult to have a child pick after themselves since at home the parents gave them choices.
Yeah. I grew up with several younger siblings, and since we were homeschooled by my teens, and also all dairy farmer together, I was m/l in charge of them much of the time. My Dad was pretty "old school" but could be randomly touchy about things, esp. coming from someone who's not him, so he didn't like it if I sounded to commanding-ish, even tho he also expected obedience what-not from youngers towards olders.. . So, I adjusted gradually since then to say it more like "would you please" , and with my siblings honestly that was usually totally fine. They knew it was a command &/or real need in middle of farm chores, and no big deal although for me, in middle of hectic work ( & being held overly responsible for too much) sometimes didn't really have time & energy for making it "pretty" vrs. a simple command in a decent tone of voice, which I think most of us were fine with.. 🤷🙄. Anyway, now, we have a child ( 12, boy) of friends, sorta unofficial foster kid situation, staying with us indefinitely at moment ( don't worry, courts are involved). He is a game- playing, button-pushing lil guy w tons of energy. Having to be very clear and firm and bossy, while also cheerful, calm and as casual as I can, while he still either acts innocent or offended or whatever at the slightest whim.. .
Wish I had farm work here to use up some more of that energy he spends on drama and mind games... .
(Figuring it out, doing what I can.. ).
What do you do when you've tried this many times and your child sill responds with such things as "no, you pick up the ball!"
Thank you Emma! I'm going to practice this!
You're so welcome!
Loved this advice! Could you please add the link to the video you mentioned at the end. Thank you!
Thanks a lot! I learn a lot from your videos
I wish I found your channel earlier, I hope you can answer me …my baby won’t make eye contact with me when I hold her but she would if someone else holds her and would the same with others.. when I hold her she would look to her left or right, she also do shudder attack like three times a day…. She’s almost 7 months old
I wonder whether it's adequate to let the toddler have an earring shown at 2:30.
Thank you for all the great information. I have been following your channel for a while and I just wanted to let you know if you were not aware of your head tilts towards your hair parted side and that could strain your neck.
I actually noticed that I tilt my head recently when I was reviewing a video. Currently, I don't have a strain but will be mindful of it from now on.
Please make video on baby constipation under 1year age
What puzzles me is what you said in the beginning: your older children don't follow instructions as well as the toddler. Does this mean this method has not a long term effect?
The opposite. It DOES have a long term effect and she didn't start doing it until recently
This doesn’t relate to the video but what should I do when my 21month old start “hitting” the floor or an object next to him when he accidentally gets hurt or he feels frustrated or startled? I feel like he’s doing that because he doesn’t know how to control his big emotions but I’ve been struggling guiding him. I’ve tried acknowledging his feelings and emotions, explaining him the situation/the event that just took place and re-enacting what he’s done and showing him how to act in those situations but nothing has been working..
Ma'am please make a video on does it affects the development of the baby if the baby refuses to sleep on crib or bed or on floor but will sleep in lap . Also why babies refuses to sleep on crib but will sleep in lap.
Hi! It doesn't affect their development. It can just be hard on you as the parents (as it can be extremely tiring) and dangerous for them (if you fall asleep while holding them). They often sleep on you because that's how they have learnt to fall asleep. To move away from this, we need to help them learn how to fall asleep in the crib.
@@EmmaHubbard Thank you ma'am
Babies need to feel that their parents and source of protection are nearby and they also thrive off of physical touch. Feeling an adult breathing and their heart rate can help regulate a baby's breathing and heart rate. Babies, especially under 1 year, are not meant to sleep alone. Let your baby sleep on you. Try baby wraps so you can carry them around while getting things done.
@@Blue-e9h7kor you can learn how to safely Co sleep cot isn’t the only option FYI
I thought giving your child a choice versus an order makes them feel empowered. You will eat your brocoli versus giving them options. Would you like brocoli or asparagus? Now they have power, and both are healthy options. Please elaborate
There are plenty of times when allowing a choice is appropriate and should be given. I think this video addresses commands that need to be obeyed. A child can choose which color shirt to wear, but they can't choose not to get dressed at all.
@melanieackard7736 the video didn't make this differentiation
If I come down to her level, she squats too 😁
Hi Emma, I need help please 😢. I’m so stressed 😢. I have a week old baby, she passed her hearing test at the hospital. However , my sister was placing a canvas to the wall yesterday in my room and was using a hammer. The hammering sound was so loud . I was sitting in the living room and rushed to get the baby out of the room when I heard my sister hammering to put the canvas. Unfortunately, I couldn’t run because I had a c section so my baby heard the very loud nose for about 1 minute. I’m wondering if that could affect her hearing😢. I’m so scared 😢. Anyone any advice please 😢. I tried google and google keep telling me the baby head might damaged😭
The hammering noise shouldn’t have harmed her hearing. 1st time mom here, and I thought something similar from my baby hearing extremely loud music once for an hour. Her hearing is still great. But if you’re still worried or concerned, check in with your babies pediatrician.
@ Thank You so much 🙏🏾
Most babies do not react to loud noises at that age, simply because hearing the noise requires that they focus on the sound. If their focus is elsewhere they do not aknowledge that noise. My baby could sleep during loud heavy metal music (ofcourse not unreasonably loud), but if my feet did a cracking sound while I left her room at night to go to the toilet, she would instantly wake up and cry.....
Hi! How to make them listen, when they might be having some feeling ,can't share properly, and watching TV like they can't hear ,understand, come to you.
Don’t teach when cannot listen. Regulate and then teach. You’ll both feel miserable if you try to do this when they are struggling.
Hi.my younger boy who is only 3 years old always scratch others.(his elder brother espclly..and we parentts lso)whenver he gets angry..and when i ask him to say sorry he doesnt even feel sorry for wht hee did.how can i help him?any tips. My elder boy is very patient and loves to share and play vt younger..bt small one doesnt corporate much ..
I wouldn't force them to say Sorry when they don't feel sorry.
Let them know what they did wrong (how it made the other person feel) and guide them in making amends or restitution is a different way of addressing it.
Can your 2 year old put on her own shoes already?
She can! 😀
Yes she can
Yes
Are they slip on shoes?
Mine could at 2. She was very proud and got lots of praise. Now at 3 she is more "selective" about when she feels like putting on her shoes and it is difficult for me to remember praising her in at positive tone when it took 45 minutes to put on shoes....but I still praise her. Works about 85% at this age is my experience :)