Status: How to Win by being a Pathetic Loser
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 12 มี.ค. 2021
- How do you take advantage of status?
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This video is a guest post, a typical WIL video is coming up soon.
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I was taught when young in my profession by a wise head of the organization that when anyone came in angry and wanting some sort of satisfaction (higher or lower in status, doesn’t matter) ask them, “What is it you want me to do?” That appears to give them the power and nearly always deflates the situation; in my experience the person usually is flabbergasted and can’t really answer. They’ve come ready to battle, but if you take away the grounds for battle it changes the dynamic; you are then perceived as accommodating and reasonable, so no need to battle. I never changed what I was doing or planned to do, but the person felt heard.
That is the first step taught in conflict resolution (or the ones I attended).....find an area of agreement, sometimes as simple as I understand why you are upset, what would you do? It works.
So as far as status is concerned you are the wolf that showed his neck. That phrase is the polite version of you have control over me there is no need to waste effort dominating me. So as long as you dont mind being lower status than that other person its perfectly fine but if you want to be above him its will come back to bite you later down the line.
This sounds like itd work in a sheltered wyite fancy place.
Ain't no one elsewhere give a fq bout that line.
Don't know what it has to do with being young.
It's always the only competent position to ask the customer for solution for a complain.
Weather or not you comply or merely pretend the complaint will go to your superior and be solved there doesn't matter.
This really depends if the person coming in angry is a customer or a coworker. Usually when customers get angry they know exactly what they want
Treating everyone as high status even if they're displaying low status oddly also raises yours in the eyes around you usually. Humans are weird.
It's like "He's so high status that he doesn't have to care".
"is this a personal attack?"
I was hoping for him to talk about this dynamic
Well it's only the appearance of apathy that matters. Whilst you might give change to a homeless man you wouldn't let them sleep in your master bedroom
Interesting.
stigma male lmaosidjaoo
The trick to winning an interview, is to not need the job.
Ask them more questions than they ask you! Never fails...
@@AlKey3 'what do you know now that you wish you'd known then?'
Sound like game theory to me.
@just another human I've never been to a gay interview , what's it like?
@@dionysusnow Colorful, with provocative and flamboyant accoutrements.
Some cops once said they were going to arrest me because they'd seen me give the finger to a car driver while I was cycling. I'm not sure how I worked this out, but I went into an act of being abjectly, almost tearfully apologetic, assuring them this wasn't the sort of thing I'd usually do, pleading etc. They laughed and sent me on my way. It was a power game for them, and it amazed me that their desire for status had made them so easily played.
Wow. You'd get arrested for that? In what country?
@@XX-bn9sf I live in the UK and this was in London. I don't know whether they'd really have been within their rights to arrest me for this. Does seem a stretch. If I ever meet a UK criminal lawyer, I'll ask.
my hunch is that they didn't really care and that the karen who phoned them probably put them up to it. if i was the cops, i would have kicked you while you were down, so don't be so sure it'll work in your favor all the time.
Surely you planned it carefully lmao
@@cagneybillingsley2165 No one called the cops on me. It all happened very fast: I had the altercation at a junction and on the other side, there was an unmarked van that turned out to be full of cops and they stopped me and said they'd seen me 'make an obscene gesture' and were going to arrest me for it.
"It is dangerous to be the tallest tree, because it will be the first one to get cut down."
"The nail that sticks out the furthest gets hammered in hardest"
They usually cut the scrawny trees out of the way first to give more room (and more light + nutrients) for the bigger/more vigorous trees to grow as final crop
@@splodge3381 yes this, or they preserve the tallest out of respect and reverence to its age and size.
Now all these people with lovely statements can actually act upon them and make the world a better place if only
Stealing this!
the easiest way to lower someone's status is to put DJ in front of his name,
What if they yell their name on your track? Does that raise their status or lower yours?
@@WhatIveLearned checkmate
Somebody help
Disk Jockey?
@@Spacemuffin147 okay... halfway there
"How to win by being a pathetic loser."
Me: Go on...im listening.
The title puts into play the tool used by comedians, with Louis CK as his visual example, of putting oneself down so that he can deliver his message without being contested. Imagine if the video was called “How to win by being high status”-the comment section would be cruel in its attack on him claiming the high position, or at least more critical and challenging.
I feel like life is still possible
This made me laugh
You're not supposed to admit to aiming for low status.
But being written off as a non-threat is exactly what a ninja wants.
ah but in his group, he is HIGH status because he knows how to manipulate others
but keep a pocket of sand on you
POCKET SAND
My husband taught me this super invaluable skill when we got married. He's a nuclear scientist and dresses like a bum for this exact same reason. He won't answer when my Asian relatives ask him what he does for a living, and it drives his parents nuts that he won't flaunt his achievements. Thanks so much for putting the whole thing into words!! I shared the video with my hubby :)
Thanks for sharing that, made me smile
And you are Marge Simpson, the cartoon character?
Aaand...youre showing off your status from being married to him, by saying all of this :-)
@@tentimetexno she's not. if she would say it IRL then yeah probably.
that is actually arrogance in disguise.. it is obvious people will eventually find out what he does, but he deliberately misled them so they can ostensibly reveal their "true" nature of barbarians that jumped to a conclusion judging someone by cloth.. while he was a superior being setting the trap.. It is a low life trick for his perverted sense of self importance.. He needs to see a shrink.. He can be a narcissist..
I think in general, the more comfortable you look or feel (because it’s difficult to act like you’re comfortable) the higher your status .
Feeling comfortable in a situation, place, meeting etc..comes from experience . So the more experienced you are the more comfortable you feel and you tend to have a higher status
Confident is key
Definitely, which has a clear evolutionary advantage: People listen to and respect the guy with experience subconsciously (but experience cannot be directly projected outwards).
this results in weird status-misreads on my end because i have endless practice staying relaxed around beautiful women, but suck at many other aspects of life, so my comfort body language really inflates perception of my status to false levels lol
This is what my flight instructor said ✈️ lmao 😂
@@TheMarioMen1 Just fly the airplane....hehehe
I knew a Korean War vet who was captured by enemy at Chosen, all other prisoners were killed. They put him in a pit, so he started acting like a dog, barking and crawling around. Instead of killing him, the N Koreans put him in a leash and made him their pet. He was eventually transferred to prison camp and released. Amazing guy
Ah...just like marriage
@@eps4560 😆😆😆😆😆😆😆
Wow!!!
Did he know at the time why he was doing what he was doing?
@@eps4560 LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
in the company that I work at my "leaders" are almost "too kind" which often makes me invest more than I should. But it has become a very beneficial cycle for all of us. We do more work than we should and they treat us better and better (not just financially), which in turn ups productivity again and so forth. So far it doesn't seem to have a limit. The company has grown multiple 100% in the last 12 months alone. It's fascinating what can happen if everyone realizes that they are steering the same boat
Learned while living in Medellin, Colombia. Never move out of the way while walking toward people. Walk straight but pretend to be distracted by something off to the side, your companion, phone, contents of bag, etc. People will move aside unoffended because you weren’t being intentionally aggressive, just absent minded. Otherwise, you will be continuously jostled or pushed aside, especially as a petite female. Works everywhere in the world.
What’s your company’s stock exchange code?
you're a lucky guy, companies like that are rare
@@myrtle1234 What if both you and the other person are doing this same thing? LOL
That happens when the management actually have a brain. They know the value of a happy staff
Self-deprecating joke about how low my status is in real life aimed at producing approval from internet strangers.
Hello I am an internet stranger. I approve of your comical comment. It made me feel the emotion known as "funny".
You win
I feel heightened so I appreciate.
Approved.
Being an internet citizen, I now have granted you an elevated status due to your comedic effect.
I always interpreted that "Godfather" scene as the Dom being offended that the guy would offer him money on the day of his daughters wedding when he should know that the Don can not refuse a favor on that day. He should have realized that he was invited there for a reason. He should have understood how the mafia operates, that they have a culture, and offering him money was almost vulgar.
The Don obviously wanted the guy as a "friend", and you have to understand what a "friend". It's someone who will cooperate with the mob for anything they ask, and in turn, they will protect him from other criminals and may even involve him in some money making racquet. If he had took the money, that'd b the end of it. But by being his "friend" and doing him a "favor", he will now owe the Don a favor in return, which coul be anything, and he will be unable to refuse.
That's just my take on it. Don was welding his status rather effectively.
Correct. He was setting the guy up to squeeze the life outta the guy and could do so cause he was da Don
Brando refusing the Oscar for the GF was a serious high status move...
E
Pure feudalism.
@@TornadoOfSouls777 Yeah, and sending the random white girl on stage pretending to be an Indian to give Hollywood a dressing down is some next level trolling. I like to think if Brandon was still alive, he'd be. /tv/ poster.
I love how the we all end up at the same status as dead
Do we?
@@niveshproag3761 Well physically. The essence or soul is a whole other story.
@@soultekkamusic115 I was just referring to the fact that dead people can have status. For example Martin Luther King and Hitler vs your dead aunt.
@@niveshproag3761 Depends on who your heroes are also. My aunt lives btw lol
😆
Seeking status is to ask the world to make you happy. Instead lower your stress and find peace by slowing down, meditating, and connecting within. A person who is calm and loves themselves will effortlessly garner the respect of others, other than the insane.
The most profound comment yet.
Why climb the ladder when you can pretend it doesn't exist?
When I’m on the sidewalk and someone coming the other way is in my path I usually throw them into oncoming traffic.
haha I dont have to because they move, I am indeed strong enough to push them if they werent ;) lol
Ah, a fellow level 3000 statusman.
Well obviously to assert dominance.
If I sense the other person is actually trying to force me away, I resist. If i sense it does not matter, I go by convenience.
@@haiguyse I have noticed if i am by the wall and another man is aswell if i look at my watch they will move. I think it makes it easier for them. If it makes sense to move through safety of others, women,children and disabled i will.
I used to live with this dude that played fortnite quite a bit, and he eventually became the best in our house. His constant gloating became annoying so I started to say something like - "Max is the best fortnite player in the house. Everyone, give him a round of applause". Literally after that conversation, we never heard him gloat again because, his status had been lowered by universal recognition of that achievement. Im glad to find a video that kind of explains it so well.
Kinda like that episode of “Ed” where one of the protagonists said to the quarterback something like “Yea Kevin you’re like so good at throwing the ball you’re like a rifle - you’re rifle man, the man with two rifles on his arms shooting footballs out like boom bam boom bam. Rifle man!”
I think the gloating is probably a sign of an underlying insecurity elsewhere and so when their achievement is belittled it resets the person to their general default mode. A default mode which lacks a certain level of overall self-confidence. In other words, their attempt to self-assert said status failed because status is awarded (or at least made known) by through the recognition of others and not by the self.
@@TristanMattox tl;dr.
It's just an ego trip
@@WhatIveLearned Wow, I remember "Ed".
@@TristanMattox Or maybe they just feel proud of their accomplishment and are the kind of person to want everyone to know. Dubbing down these kinds of behaviours to a personality trait(insecurity etc.) is an act lowering their free will on the issue, therefore hiding guilt and responsibility, while lowering their status. It's simular to an active dehumanisation attempt, which is never beneficial as we need to resolve the issue, rather than push the person down to a less relatable, less human level. I can't help but get irritated when people are doing this, "they're hating, because someone has hurt them" etc. etc. etc. It isn't helpful, only aiding a minor relief in the primal instincts related to the reaction to such behaviours. (I'm not gish galloping on purpose, I'm just wondering why this behaviour persists in modern society. Don't people know better? They don't.)
In my experience, self actualization has appeared to be and has been with myself, the absolute number one way to raise social status. But it has to be real. Somehow I learned this while digging into pickup back in my late teens/early twenty's. Once you figure out who you are, and embrace that to the fullest life and the people around you really open up. But you have to live life by your terms not other people's, and definitely not your perception of other people's terms.
Yes, I like this.
Most of society is lost on their I phones like heroin addicts ,shell of emptiness.What they think matters not to me at all.
The wise one lows himself to the position of the person he is speaking with, this sign of detachment means also a very low level of running cortisol. It means I don't care, I am at peace and with nothing to lose. Maybe that's why it feels to the watcher as if the person is invulnerable, and is a curious fact that this fearless state Lao Tzu calls being "inmortal".
well said
Maybe this isn't an appropriate connection, but your comment cannot help but reminded of that moment from Philosopher's Stone, where Dumbledore comes and sits cross-legged on the floor with Harry in front of the mirror.
Lesser men in positions of power would see it as inappropriate and would never, ever do such a thing. But Dumbledore is an extremely high status man who is at peace and gives no shits, and that gesture conveys it well. Of course he goes and sits criss-cross applesauce. He's Dumbledore. If most people did this it would lessen their apparent status, but with him it conveys how powerful he is.
@@ideasphinx9905 It's so cringe when people use Harry Potter scenes to discuss serious topics
@2ndBookofLaughter LMAO
@@neochris2 Too smart to talk about harry potter. Lower your status a lil bit, mate.
"So long as status is being modified the audience stays captivated" this says so much about humanity right now.
You explained twitter in a proper length twitter response.
Absolutely, and because of social media as @Devin Forbes says, it happens on a mass scale
Cancel culture in a nutshell
Pretty much
@@add852 yes
Much as I like being admired, I try to treat everyone with respect and politeness.
I don't know whether that gets me far in life, but it makes me feel better with myself.
I agree. Status becomes less necessary the more humanity progresses. We are programmed to think about status as life or death, but that is no longer the case most of the time. So why not just treat other humans kindly always
Treat others the way you want to be treated.
Be polite. Be professional. Have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
I've done that and unfortunately haven't gotten far at all, you should start off giving people respect but withdraw it once they stop deserving it.
@@flyaway6671 Respect everyone, including yourself. If people disrespect you consistently, and don't change their behaviour if and when you confront them about it, then it is disrespectful to yourself to continue to associate with them. That's not to say people like this can't change, and shouldn't be given a second chance, but there's often a lot of crocodile tears before they do. That's my experience anyways.
Trying to become more powerful by acting high status is like trying to become rich by buying expensive things lol
"fake it til you make it"
@@tomlxyz that's how i gained my confidence
@@Kipplz Faking confidence to get real confidence? That's one of the rare cases where it can work out
No it's not. Body language can certainly influence one's personal psychology, whereas putting yourself into debt to get richer is counterproductive.
unironically many scamers got rich that way
This actually makes me like people less. Why can't we just treat each other with respect and drop the ego without this unspoken struggle for status.
Status is intrinsic in nature and the animal kingdom, so your naive altruistic outlook isn't feasible.
Yahushua said ,seek meekness.Amein.
I guess I understand what you mean.
Having similiar thoughts, I think though that this stuff is important.
Its like saying "why do i have to Breathe?" You cant turn off human. You have to master It
Because we're f-ing animals and that's part of our nature.
The way I see it, being low status, at least for a while or during your key development years is valuable as you get to face the world from a more pragmatic position where you get to observe social hierarchy's and the shifts within them more clearly. It's as if you have a front row ticket to the play of life and you get to learn about social politics through a clearer, less biased lens than if you were high status and had something to lose. You get to watch and learn about the world from the outside. Like Harry Potter, growing up poor and mistreated, to teach him certain values that he could bring to his teenage/ adult life, ultimately making him a better person.
Great insight. Probably why kids are encouraged to be nice when young so adults will wanna help them. And as they grow up they are encouraged to experiment with high-status so that as adults they are treated with respect.
Well said, being in a high status form will diminish the urge to learn from others, since you see yourself being in a higher status and therefore their knowledge may not be worthy of learning. This is a issue no one seems to talk about
@@wolfy8006 agree. Humble yourself to win later in the journey of life
I have thought that for most of my adult life. Being low status is actually high status too I have come to believe
Sadly, very few people are willing to learn from others, especially if they're perceived as lower status. It all comes down to the humility of each of us and how much we are open minded.
And your comment deserves more likes, as you've made a great sociological discovery.
"Being powerful is like being a Lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't."
- M Thatcher
fair enough but coming from Thatcher it leaves a sour taste...
"Any man who must say I am the king is no true king" - Tywin Lannister
What a timeless quote :D
"Excuse me?? It's MA'AM for you!!! Just cuz I shave doesn't mean I'm any less of a lady than you!"~ 2021 TransAm
She says as she funds Ulster loyalist terrorist groups in northern Ireland
Gotta be careful with this though. Being perceived as a non-threat definitely has it's benefits, but in some situations it will increase the likelihood of getting abused, used, attacked or left in the ditch.
Predators always target the non-threatening ones.
Yeah, I wonder when it's applicable and when it's not.
Honestly in my country most of these physhological tricks just don't work. Like half of say 50 Laws of Power just doesn't work there.
The key is to be peaceful, but be capable of cruelty when necessary. They never see it coming, because they have already underestimated you before the interaction even occurs, generally they will back off and show respect.
Well if u appear as a non-threat but you really are one then you don’t have to worry. Just like the godfather
Being neither dominant nor submissive is a natural byproduct of approaching people with love, as opposed to fear. It's the ultimate status because you're conducting yourself as a higher order being, vs. as an animal. It can be manufactured in the way he describes, but then it comes across as fake. In my estimation, the purest way to express love is to be your genuine self, regardless of what anyone else might think of you. To do otherwise is to approach others deceptively, and it's that deception that requires being either submissive or dominant, lest people find out what we're hiding about ourselves. I think both submissive and dominant people are using their alpha or beta shell as camouflage for things about themselves that they don't like. Probably the greatest act of love that we as humans can achieve is to let people see us for who we really are, unapologetically, with neither pride, nor shame.
Well said.
Love this
still waiting for those meme obsessed pseudo narcissistic children that cries virgin,chad and greek letters unironically. i wonder what their superiority complex would say to this
@@nghekkkk828 psuedo narcissistic?
@@nghekkkk828 brooooo thats kinda virging criiiiiingee!!! This is totally you right now: 🤓🤓. im gonna post this on twitter and get sooo many likes!! going to cry myself to sleep now because i have no family or friends
I generally step aside on pavements because many people are selfish, oblivious, or won't move to single file if there are more than one person. I put it down to poor NPC AI.
Plus there's a freaking pandemic!!!
Except that's just how you're rationalizing it. You can't fight millions of years of instinct. Your brain just makes up convenient lies to make you feel better about it. He's tricky like that.
I've always noticed this too. I thought it was common sense to share a public sidewalk but some people feel the need to assert dominance . . so dumb. Could you imagine if everyone drove like that too?
In America. I heard it's different in countries like Japan or other East Asian countries.
@@TosiakiS People in East Asian aren't as selfish and territorial as people in North America. Americans might call themselves individualistic but I think that's just a nice way of saying "selfish". Think of how petty and self entitled you have to be to have to "fight" to walk on a sidewalk. That is a cancer mentality.
A great example of this is Season 40 of Survivor. The winner (without spoiling) said that using body language and behaviours to constantly lower their status was key to their victory. It was an especially smart strategy because the season was made up entirely of previous winners with huge egos.
The meek shall inherit the Earth.
This is reality,not some movie.
I saw a quiet woman win one year.. she had personal confidence and didnt play the status game
Status ambiguity is a marvelous thing. Watching this video was very interesting that I do this all the time without a term for it. Speak softly and Cary a big stick. Be low status but let people know you can, if needed, confidently shift the status. It makes you an easy person to work with and be with, but also let's people know when things are tough there is a level of respect and decorum that must be maintained.
YB recommends: "Status: How to Win by being a Pathetic Loser"
*And I took that personally *
Being obsessed with others, thinking value is zero-sum is a great was to be unhappy and annoying.
Way*
It's almost like spirituality and world religions have many ideas in common which revolve around transcending material status.
100% great way to put it
@@hellomate639 Material status is just a very disingenuous way to try and gauge a person's true character, not everyone understands that so they take it too seriously.
@@nonenothing4412 correcting random peoples' typos on the internet is also a great way to be annoying :)
48 laws of power, one of them is do not outshine the master.
48*
48
@@kevinwright9401 8 were totally made up to throw the normies off from acquiring power
@@zelllers which ones lmao
@@rustedcoin9341 If you're asking then you're not in the club, bucko.
Think Superman, his status is undeniable, politeness and courtesy cost him nothing.
But which came first, his status or his politeness and courtesy? This is important to consider.
Look at how he behaves as Superman vs Clark Kent, look at how he gets treated afterwards. Lois went for Superman not Clark
Would politeness and courtesy cost him something if he didn't have high status?
@@jacobscrackers98 it definitely would :P
You mean power
I remember my Sensei teaching me, that instead of thinking the side step is a dominant and submissive situation, by you stepping to the side you control the situation and ultimately dictate where that person goes.
In Antony Beevor's book 'Berlin' he describes an incident where two Luftwaffe officers had been trapped in a building behind Soviet lines. On attempting to escape through a window they jumped out and straight into the path of a patrol of Soviet troops. One of the Luftwaffe officers told his companion to drop his trousers which they, subsequently, both did. The Soviet troops, on seeing such a ridiculous spectacle, started laughing at them. It is suspected that this action saved their lives. No soldier would want to be seen shooting a man who had his trousers around his ankles.
Were they arrested instead of shot?
@@shugyosha7924Those 2 officers grew up to be Abbott and Costello. Instead of arrested they were given a Netflix sitcom and an HBO special.
@@shugyosha7924 They were hanged by their trousers...
Like in Manslayer's Skyrim videos, the man instructs his companion to do sexy splits to cause mass confuse to their enemies. He does it and lives, his friend doesn't believe him, doesn't do it and dies.
@Steven Kelly i don't buy it. The comedy duo from the 50s didn't live up until Netflix and HBO.
Ugggh this sucha an exhausting thing to think about.
Humans are strange strange characters.....
Get used to it!
Your not supposed to think about it, we're not even supposed to know about it.
@@void3793 What I knew about this since i was a little kid in school we just use language like popular kid.
Power and status are such passive aggressive concepts to me
@@aMoodyHipster i feel the same
It is often advantageous to appear somewhat "lower" status because it tends to make people underestimate you. If the affect of "low status" is intentional for the purpose of gaining trust, it can be maintained when dealing with a person known to be manipulative (bosses HATE employees who are better than they are and know it.) If they attempt to manipulate you, you will see it coming a mile away, thwart their efforts, and decide their fate. Funny how that works sometimes...
No it's not. Higher status reaps all the fruits.
This is very very wonderful. Really.
1) know what people around you measure
2) belong to a small community
3) prepare with power posing (big, open, spread-out body language)
4) keep your head still while speaking
5) look away first (and don't look again! be sure to ignore, don't look back after)
6) short er's or um's, but elongated ummmmmsss are better
7) your position in the room (sitting at the head, near corners, near large objects)
Thanks, I just copied all this on my hand.
correction re 6) : short um's do lower status (19:28)
congratulations, you are now the annoying guy everyone avoids
@@etzaliYT me?
@@etzaliYT well, on the assumption that you were replying to me: Thank you for the feedback! I was just trying to be helpful, but it’s useful for me to know that that can be perceived as nitpicky (which i assume was what annoyed you?)
As I'm living at my parents house, the title suits me.
Except you are not winning
Just wait until your parent/parents live at your house... They still out rank you. Forever
Not paying rent while saving to buy a house = winning
It’s been a tough year.
I'm sure you have a reason for that, and that reason is your own. You're not lower or higher in my eyes.
*Books mentioned:*
>impro: improvisation and the theater Keith Johnston
>Status anxiety Alain de botton
>This is is marketing- seth godin
>The undercover economist- Tim harford
Thanks for listing the books I appreciate it
Thanks
What was the name of the film about the two journalists and the Congolese soldiers?
he also indirectly mentioned 12 Rules for Life, by Jordan Peterson
@@curtisjackson5793 yeah but I thought about if I should add it or not! This is the first time that I am doing this so! LOL
I've long theorized that "status" must be a thing. But this is the first time I've seen it explained and distinguished from power.
Being apes it definitely is a thing.
I found that self-depreciating jokes can work but overdoing it can make people think your a 'pick me'.
I really hate those jokes, no matter your status, it just makes everyone around you uncomfortable rather than comfortable. If you have to use those jokes, make them really lightweight, like oh i suck at doing this thing, not oh I'm a bald fat loser. Also i think low status people should avoid those types of jokes entirely, they're already low status, making it even lower makes people uncomfortable. High status people trying to lower their status through those jokes seem fake sometimes
Just T-Pose all the time to win life.
Tayloring
😅🤣😅🤣😅🤣
The life of a frozen game character... :D
And when hit act like a rag doll ? :D
Ah, the Johnny Silverhand approach...
I work in a prison in Texas and almost all of the points you brought up in this video is very easily observed in a prison environment where humans are at thier most raw and unfiltered.
Yikes! 😬 stay safe i hear crazy stories in prison 🙏 also very interesting that you can observe this human psychology.
Must be interesting trying to predict the interactions you see taking into account all these psychological aspects...
Thanks for sharing, happy to hear from someone who actually observes this day-to-day.
@@oceanwonders You do too if you interact with humans at all.
I couldn’t help but think about prison also while watching this. My boyfriend spent 14 years in prison and he has so many stories and experiences that are basic fundamental examples of status power plays. In prison these things can cost you your life.
one thing I've always grasped intuitively but never put into words (till I saw this video!) is that people aggressively punish failed attempts to raise your status. people who use power poses in a way that sticks out as unnatural or deepen their voice on purpose or are trying clearly memorized social engineering techniques get mocked relentlessly. It's a "how dare you try to game the system, peasant! stay in your lane!" attitude.
which is unfortunate because we all have to make mistakes as we self-develop. shaming people for learning is why people just stick in their status their whole lives. i know my body language and other tells were super jarring and over the top back in the day but now i can tell people read lots of nuance in my movement--anxiety, irritation, patience, power, graciousness, rage, social competence.
The ideea is believing you are high status and trying to emulate or think those feelings. Eventually your brain will follow. But the people you will gain through this - people that blindly like you for your energy, not for yourself are usually not the ones worth it. My currrent screening criteria is people that can see and act beyond social constructs like these.
Exactly but lowering of one's status is specifically for them
I like to confuse people, but also always treat low status people with more respect than others. They're the ones who really get things done and know the dirt on everyone.
Its a winning strategy. Gaining the loyalty of the masses and common folk matters more.
You seem like a nice manipulative person
Note: If you’re already a Winner, becoming a Pathetic Loser is not recommended. | | This video is a guest post by a good friend of mine - if you enjoyed this then go and sub to his channel for when he puts out the next video!
hahaha
Weird... your friend's channel has only one actual video, from two years ago. Usually better for them to have a bit of a back catalogue before you try to steer subs their way. I don't get it!
Noted. Thanks
An extremely interesting conversation starter.
I'm surprised you didnt talk about lookism.
Genetic status.
How size and exclusivity affect status.
You did show a guy with a grp around him talking. His eye color is pretty exclusive and rare, hed have status regardless of being a talker or not.
Same for a tall, built man, 6'5 300lb. Or just being 'hung' lul.
Or a very curvy or heavy asset gal.
Social hierarchy.
Sports.
High school.
Prison
Etc.
Do a part 2 pls
I feel like body shape and height play a major role in this.
So what works for Chad charisma?
Makes no difference if your body language is all screwed up. Body shape and height are just superficial imo. A big tall low status person will just attract more negative attention.
It certainly plays a role, but not a major one. Humans dominate the earth because of our inteligence, not our physical strength. Same goes for social status.
You can certainly use your big strong physique to your advantage in "the game of thrones", but it will not be the determining factor as to where you end up on the scale.
@@mrace1180 Tell that to nerds I am sure they are high status lmao
@@testtest-ik7fh Nerds run the world my friend ;) Put that aside, I know plenty of small "alfa's", they have to verbaly compensate for their small size, and since most interactions are verbal, and not physical... Need I tell you the result? And on top of that, I have seen plenty of guy's beat bigger opponent's in fight's, and I have beaten bigger guys myself.
So I repeat myself, size is a factor, but not a big one.
There's a reason that even if you have a low-status mentality, if you're revered by a group and you actively show humility, that often raises your relationship with them. It's because of status. Kinda nice to have this information just because it clarifies a subconscious understanding.
It is interesting when a high-status person in one setting becomes a low-status person in another, and vice-versa. For example, at chess tournaments players of the same class (skill level) tend to hang out with each other, regardless of socio-economic status. The one big exception is talented children who will often be somewhat accepted in higher groups because it is clear that they will probably get there - or further - eventually.
I was an exceptionally talented Magic the Gathering player as a kid, and I was the only child most of the adults I played with tolerated. They were clearly more powerful than me since they were adults, but I think you're right that my skill increased my status and made them see me as an equal.
I stated something about dominance hierarchies in the past, a Sargeant in the military may become a civilian clerk while a low-status soldier may become their boss, in martial duties the Sargeant is higher but in civil life they are lower.
I'm convinced that status is always relative. I've been in plenty of situations where I was clearly the alpha male, and in many others where I was gamma at best. The goal has to lie in navigating between these extremes.
I'm a competitive shooter and the top shooter's always hag out together with the occasional promising newbie.
It's common in minority neighborhoods. You have popular singers, comedians who have mega status in their small ethnic circle but have to work mid to low level 9-5 jobs in order to make ends meet.
Eh, sometimes I see people who try to artificially raise their status and importance and it's clear that they've watched some videos or something and it's comically bad. Power poses just look hilariously fake to me now and just makes me not take the person seriously.
I think you've missed the point about power poses (as well as those who apparently pull them off in front of you). The purpose is to make one feel assertive, not to make others think so.
@@MRSoefeldt Well it won't do much to help you feel assertive if people are smirking and not taking you seriously. So yes, the people who often try to power pose don't understand the point of them either.
There's a guy at the gym who I'm convinced read some kind of superficial material about "being alpha". He walks really inconveniently slowly, and sticks his chest out to an unnatural extent. The transparent artificiality of the whole thing makes him come across like a gigantic pussy.
Often when we try to manipulate thousands of years of evolution to gain short term benefits it usually backfires. Our status is not based on entirely superficial reasons, they are a reflection of our worth (relative to the demands of the group. A paradise bird/show of is more worth in an environment rich of resources where he/she/it sticks out. That's a disadvantage in environments with scarcity.)
So when a person manages to fake his status that is usually detrimental to the group. There are always exemptions but we like to reward those playing by the rules, especially when they do it creatively. Those who cheat rarely offer lasting benefits to the collective.
power posing by Cuddy has been debunked.
After consulting business clients as a sole proprietor for about 8 years I learned that the less you are interested in playing status games, the more high status you seem to appear. As my experience with business meetings and negotiations increased, I began to dress and act more and more casually. Not to be confused with being less respectful. The result was that I got more undivided attention from the otherwise busy-busy business owners and they seemed to take me into a higher regard. Observed it for new and existing clients alike.
100% correct. Act like you don't need their money or approval, but still show that you value it. It prevents people from power tripping on you, but still shows that you care about them.
Wow. That was on point. Exactly something ive been pondering for so long. Peopling is weeird man
hahahaha the facial expression in your profile pic goes well with the comment
Peopling, my new favorite word.
I've studied status a bit, but you really dug deep here. If you're not aware of status, then you're going to be at the effect of a force that is definitely asserting itself on your interactions. Absolutely fantastic video.
Humans are stupider animals than we tend to assume
@JasonMcGarva, I think you mean "...at the mercy of a force...," because the word "effect" makes no sense there.
Actually changing your status from low to high will require a lot more than just posing a certain way, breaking eye contact and saying "uuuuuuummmmmmmmmm".
Some people just can't, they lack the awareness.
It's the subtle attitude change that goes WITH the gestures that helps the change.
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmm
@@OhSoSnake Akshuallyyyyyyy
Lmao
Great advice, thx, and even if someone seems to be deliberately provoking a conflict, we can still 'pick our battles', which in itself is about confidence and 'keeping our cool'.
This makes so much sense to me, since ive always tried to manuveur myself into specific statuses to be perceived differently by different people.
To have more energy throughout the day stop doing all these things.
¿Which things? ¿The low-status or higd-status things?
@@-haclong2366 The energy wasted on thinking what others would think of you.
You must be an introvert, like me. Extroverts otoh, *need* to play games with others...
@@smartcatcollarproject5699 Yeah, else they become bored and have breakdowns.
@@spike-de5zo The point is that the actions in the video are not things we think about doing. Even if you don't think they work, placebo does.
From what I remember the power posing study failed to be replicated.
Edit regarding your closing question, I love being as ambiguous as possible cause I generally don't like social norms.
Same, though I do consider social expectations when I act, I'm just not looking to necessarily fulfill them.
I'll never forget my first real job at 16. A couple months in I was asked to cover a position I had never done. My supervisor told me, "Just pretend like you know exactly what your doing and that you belong there. You got it".... Even if your not confident faking confidence can bring you real confidence... The old "fake it till you make it" saying.
This comment section is pure gold, so much insight.
What if you're high status(acquired through years of personal development+worthy achievements) but you don't talk about it with anyone, and you act low status with your peers(who still have work to do) so you could guide them in their growth. What if you would be generally perceived as high status based on your achievements, but you are not attached to your achievements and you are not defined in your mind by what was achieved, therefore always returning mentally to point 0, this being reflected on the lack of given self importance individuals generally have(knowing they achieved things that society sees as desirable), directly making you approach people from a low/neutral status. I am wrapping my head around this. Life is not about money and things and objects. What if you win everything only to learn it does not matter? We don't matter as much as we think we do. What matters is what we do for the planet.
Never take Jordan Peterson to a sea food restaurant.
underrated!
Because he only eats red meat.
@@megalocoman
Lobsters are red.
😂😂😂
"Tell me about the lobsters?"
It's always interesting to me when people who, on paper, should have more status than you, will very clearly show submissiveness and give you the status advantage. I think confidence plays a huge key in this.
i suffer from that.
and it's nasty.
makes you wonder where it's coming from.
@@lordaragorn001 I suspect it has to do with self confidence. Not being able to recognize traits in yourself that you are able to see in others. I also think there's a certain "fake it till you make it" element to some of these things where you kinda have to just pretend you're confident in certain situations and see how it feels. Compound those over time, and you'll find that you are naturally more confident in a lot of scenarios you previously may not have been. Body language is really big too. More than 70% of what we say is conveyed through our tone and body language.
@@lordaragorn001 i would add that alot of us have picked up toxic internal narratives and limiting beliefs. I used to think i wasnt worthy enough or have the status to go into a 'newlook' clothes shop when i was 15 XD Until my 37th bday month, i was still telling myself i was ugly n vehemently hating on myself, i wasnt suicidal, it was habit to talk to myself in a overly critical way because thats what the adults in my life had done to me and themselves n i picked it up and thought this was normal n couldnt SEE that i was causing my own distresses. This is a new field, started 2010 with the ACEs study. In short, micro traumas chronically over time, the younger the worser outcomes =CPTSD So moving house/school more than 4ish times, divorce, poverty etc counts alot more than we had realised. Crappy childhood fairy and richard grannon's youtube channels may give you some answers. if they resonate, you might take a look at irene lyon regarding pulling out stored/blocked/trapped stresses n traumas
I have this with a couple of my friends, one of them is in a much better life position than me right now, yet whenever we hangout he lets me lead the interaction and decide what we do or where we go and so on
@@divelostmind it's all about how you perceive yourself and how you think other percieve you, that can really distort the reality of things.
This has been plaguing me, i think it has to do with confidence,how you were socialized as a kid, psychological pressure from parents,bullying etc...
I like to treat high status people like they're low status and the other way around. Confident people are extremely overvalued in society, while so many less confident gems of people get ignored by most.
I knew a lot of these things already but somehow it was fragmented. Having it so well pulled together and delivered is very helpful. Thank you.
Well, according to Dr Peterson, I appear as small as I can and hide.
It may be beneficial to you. In my local store there's this one cashier that everyone knows. Everyone in my family thinks he's the most polite and I even heard people in the store talk about it. It seems like everyone knows only this guys name but not others. He's balding, he always looks down, speaks so quietly and softly you can barely hear him. I'm not sure if I ever made eye contact with him. In reality he's not any more polite than others. Some cashiers are much nicer, do some small talk as I'm a regular. Actually I kinda don't like him, I feel like he should speak louder and project higher status. I thought about it for a long time, especially that my brother always chooses him if there is more than one register opened. To me it never really mattered. My brother is very driven to become authority and show his higher status in any situation. I think that's why he's naturally attracted to people showing lower status. Oh, and the cashier is now a shift manager, even though he always projected the lowest status.
Username checks out XD
Also do benzos
I'm really high and i'm really weirded out by this "human status interaction" discovery. Life is weirder than i thought.
Ditto
i guesss thats why your a moon man
Wait till you hear this, then, three months later when you're probably not high anymore: Animals will alert each other to danger - many of them do this by making a loud noise. That same brain circuit mirrors the one we use when we swear at stubbing our toe or our computer malfunctioning.
You thought you had life all figured out? We’re not even close.
I'm kind of with you on that, I am on an intermittent fast so my blood sugar is kinda low so I feel ind of out of it myself, and all of my comments as of tonight probably don't make much sense lol! idk why I shared that useless info
Amused detachment works for me, low status people don't feel threatened and high status people suddenly become uncertain where to grade you, it is also an easy posture to maintain, polite, no hand movements, show only mild interest, if he says something amusing respond with a smile not a laugh, if a provocative statement is made don't respond at all.
I've been a leader in many online game guilds, as well in real life. I always make a complete goof out of my self and actually promote a group effort, there is no leader attitude.
The results are I have had very dedicated people willing to follow me to death basically.
I do this out of pure belief in egalitarianism, not out of spite.
you attained status through some combination of supporting people, kindness, and skills. it's not always attained through dominance
@@malkeytone3285 reminds me of the book by fbi hostage negotiator- ego, authority, failure
"I've been a leader in many online game guilds"
Thanks for the laugh
@@alexsm3882 that’s how he got there
@@alexsm3882 funny how you see him as the low status one when I see him as high status for having the balls to talk about leadership in his hobbies, and you as a low status for being shallow minded
Nice to see an aspect of what I've learned from the video almost instantaneously
I used to sell cars, had no clue about sales or cars but I gave it a shot. Some customers have dominant energy some submissive, I could easily read that, the skill comes in knowing what that dominant or submissive person wants. Some dominant want you on their level or slightly lower, some want to you low as possible, it makes them relax and let their guard down so that's what I would do. Some submissive are comfortable only with someone near their level and are turned off by dominance. Some submissives like others taking control of the process. In the end I knew nothing of actually car sales but my people reading skills and fluid status put me on top, the veteran sales guys hated me "how could this guy out sale us!" Most quit because the loss of status. Being a middle child and coming from a disadvantaged background made me hyper aware of status and the need to be fluid at an early age.
This sounds a lot like Chris Voss hostage negotiation methods, he says people who like being in control are the easiest to manipulate
it's easy, never fear, always stay calm, ignore "unspoken rules" of hierarchy and act according to your own moral. By this you naturally exert a tremendous amount of confidence and power by "not playing by the rules" which raises your "status" without you even need to try. Overall, it's a personality, you either have it in you or not.
I've learned from our CEO to approach with low status first. If met with objection, address the objections with high status, emphasizing the nobility of the vision.
By contrasting high status and low status, you convey both strength AND humility, therefore elevating the status of the subordinate while also gaining their friendship. I found that having faith in your vision and lacking ego helps this process.
And if you have to pull rank, you've lost.
Dude, I'm loving the editing on this one.
The content is great, as always; and the editing is always spot on. But I thought this one looks better, maybe subtly, but still noticeable. Great job!
I have always thought that people who obsess about their status is people who don’t have nothing going on like they value more what other think than goals that are worth living for. Even if you grab a brush and just learn to paint well, I think you have more chance to impress people than if you obsess with trash like brands, money, and material insignificant things.
I agree. I used to care about how I looked when I wasn't as busy. Now I have an entire real estate empire to maintain and there's not a single pair of jeans that doesn't have at least some paint on them. I pride myself in precision, but then I look at my jeans and realize I'm not so precise.
unfortunately, a lot of people who you work with, or might be related to if you're unlucky, can be dick heads obsessed with power, are manipulative or try to wing situations without proper leadership... toxic workspace aren't born yesterday.
Being prepared to deal with these individuals might help you manage not make an enemy out of someone, or just get you a promotion.
for real everyday life tho, showing caring leadership and being pragmatic and communicative is unbeatable.
@@musicplaylistize
I'm never going to have to submit myself to incompetent authority. I even call myself a "semi-retired trader". Doesn't mean I don't work, it just means I have no obligation to. It's purely because I want to.
Warren Buffet explained it nicely: "There's so much wealth in the world, that you should never surround yourself with companies you hate. Life is too short for that."
im just curious, did you go to highschool in a decent area or a shoddy crime-ridden area?
@@pollutedmindmusic are you asking me?
I've never thought about status. Generally I move out of people's way when walking as a show of politeness, especially women or children. I'm a large, intimidating male. I tend to downplay any shows of aggression in public as that would worry people. I don't even think about status. It is unimportant. I am not interested in appearing to have greater status to others or letting their status affect me. You deal with me respectfully and intelligently or you will get treated accordingly. I normally feel very comfortable in the world and able to assert myself if necessary intellectually or physically.
Wow there should be more people like you, you’re the epitome of kindness ❤️
Seems like a healthy outlook. I wonder if your physical stature affords you much in feeling comfortable and unconcerned for your status?
@@willtogrow6878 you don't have to care about your status as long as other ppl behave in an acceptable way towards you.
Ofc being big and polite is an unfair advantage, as it places you as a threat (big person) that knows how to behave (polite), ppl see you as dangerous but they know they will see it only if they behave poorly according to your standards.
So if they don't want to get in trouble, they stick to your standards, they behave fine according to you, and you don't need to care about the dominance relations between you and them.
Your declarations here are forceful and certain. You may not think so but expression of status is baked into almost every word of your comment.
@@irjonesy exactly lol he posted to gain status by saying status doesn't matter lol
I've always found it easier to lower my status below the other person.
Even when I'm getting praise I tend to brush it off to seem more humble. And it really works.
People seem to find it positive even when you know your "status" is actually higher than what you seem to make it be.
Yes because it makes you look approachable and grounded, rather than being detached and distant.
But higher status also has it's benefits but harder to get, that's why the lowering status is a better choice
I work in the high end restaurant industry, it can at times be a very intense very macho business. I have found usually to get what I want from people, I will always pick the low status position. I think the most important part is that it strokes peoples egos while making them feel in control even though secretly you are the one in control. Over the course of 2 years I have become the manager of the restaurant with the others (machismos) getting fired. It works quite well 😂
I always attempt to lower my status, not because of an inferiority complex, but really it is a safe and non-threatening stance to set the other person at ease. But this normally only lasts for the first 10 minutes before I decide to become more assertive or powerful depending on how the other party is receiving my initial stance.
Sometimes, lowering my status invites the other to dominate, for these people I will try to dominate them instead because they only understand the language of power. Most times, lowering my status invites the other to collaborate and compromise, and for these people there is no need for domination or subjugation but we can often work towards a mutually agreeable outcome.
Unless I have prior knowledge that informs my stance, my default is to lay low initially, except I'm always ready to pounce.
It sounds socially exhausting to be honest.
You are stuck in dominance mentality of Darwinistic worldview.
@@tehdreamer what do you mean by that? Can you explain?
@@tehdreamer I think what this person has done is explain the nuances involved in the status game as opposed to explaining an act that requires you to actively engage your thought process. It's mostly handled by your subconscious - that is passive - and generally, it becomes more engrained with time. They seem more down to earth to me given the statement.
Cringe
Mixed signals is where the real game begins. It quickly goes into interpretation of layered verbal cues and it just branches off into the ether if you let it.
If someone is usure of your status they are incredibly suggestible and will desperately hinge on every word that comes out of your mouth. If someone challenges you verbally your retort should leave them with a satisfying and candid answer but also with more questions if you want the game to continue. This always gets you into hillarious circumstances and can get you into contact with just about anyone.
I prefer to build card houses I don't have to maintain but if you have clout to back it up only your imagination sets the limits. Practicing posture and reading books is the gateway but the djungle is dense and seemingly endless once you leave your comfort zone.
Hey! What sort of interesting situations have you got into? What are the books you mentioned?
I approve the spelling of "jungle". Yours just makes way more sense phonetically.
I feel like the first step a djentleman should take into the djungle is listening to djent
any books or sources to learn about this?
@@leacwpc u shd read DA DJUNGLE BOOK
Very insightful! Thanks for sharing! I actually wish someone had put all that into words way back in the day for me, but I like to think that it is never too late to get better.
Dude!!! This was so eye opening!
I think the Dons behaviour was more about securing loyalty than status. He was a person of power so status msy not have been so important to him. Loyalty was.
I should really get checked for autism because I have no idea what you're talking about...
You're better off.
@@JaysonT1 Thanks :)
Watch subbed anime if you need help learning emotional and sight based ques as it has better quality and more understandable English dispite being scripted from another language.
Also use a bit of slang from your hometown as it dissarms a lot of people, not a lot but a little reminds people of others which talk the same way and therefore you become less of an unknown to them or at least it makes you more interesting and less generic, like a Scott in an English bar, or a Frenchman in America, or and Italian in Japan.
"We want the world to love us. We want it as dearly as the air we breathe."
I'm like, "say what?"
try LSD with "friends" and you will understand
This stuff works. So many times I've been out in the street as a man and I could have got into a big fight and possibly got a criminal record, injured or killed, but instead what I did which was to immediately drop my status, say I was sorry I believe in peace and not fighting and quickly the situation has been defused.
Now we all know you're lying and secretly think you're better.
In my hood, that would be greenlighting your own robbery or physical attack.
Defused*
@@byronfoppola8676 Yes. Now we all know what your agenda is now Dominic.
Thank you so much for all your videos, they are so helpful for understanding ourselves and society
You have exposed another deep insight into human psychology.. Well done .
Why still quoting the Amy Cuddy research? It was long ago invalidated. There is something very satisfying and common sense about the ideas presented, but it simply has yet to be supported by data. However weakens the strength of the video to be linked to weak science. If Alain Buttón wasn't enough. Overall I really like and respect the content from this channel, so I will chalk it up to the guest.
Got me some links ?
@@diarykeeper
iirc, take a look at a video from Wisecrack about why smart people say dumb things sometimes.
It mentions the problems with the Power Pose
@bjulia33 the research wasn't 'long ago invalidated'. There was a disproportionate attack on her, to the point that, if I remember correctly, people who worked on the research were too afraid to even speak up to the critics. Main criticism (failing p-curve test) was resolved in a follow-up study few years later. I'm not defending her or the research, but what I'm trying to say is that your firm claim is misleading. It shows it as a black and white issue. The issue is far from resolved in my opinion.
This video has so many questionable references that I start to question what it says at a whole
Extremely insightful, thankyou💯👍
this channel is so perfect for me it's a bunch of quick and insightful videos on a large range of subjects and is so fun to keep up the great content!
Actually the Power Posing studies from Amy were recently debunked by the scientific community
debooooonked.
Not to mention Jordan Peterson
Yeah I was going to post that too. There is some feedback between body and mind but it's not nearly as strong as Power Posing suggests.
@@GD_Truth_and_Beauty makes sense
@@mickeyytgm I'm curious, what about Jordan Peterson? The lobster argument seemed accurate to me
In two different tech jobs who calls the shots have been total opposites. One was leaderless but a forceful personality generally persuaded everyone else, in the other a very shy guy holds the highest authority due to his raw ability at the job. I'm very grateful to have an example in my life of someone who's incredibly socially awkward and is absolutely smashing it career wise. All this alpha bro dude shit is so annoying.
They are outliers. When analyzing data to find a pattern, a trend or a rule you would normally get rid of those.
There are rules. There are exceptions.
Annoying?
K
Nah he's right. Even in sport. Status by Result and Status by charisma are prevalent factors in whose at the top
This is interesting. I myself am studying to be an engineer and I also notice this in our social interactions. I respect ability in a person and though some may be socially awkward they may also have tremendous skills in other areas. However some people who do not recognize these things as desirable disregard these people as low status due to their characteristsics. I Sincerely believe status is also affected what is admirable by the group as a whole, which characteristics and abilities that we as a group value.
Essentially, people who value status will loose status. Not even comparing your self to others at all shows confidence, comparing your self shows either arrogance or insecurity.
Stupidity also!
While I haven't thought about this before I tend to go for a high status postures but also constantly crack jokes about myself and anything I believe in. Maybe that's why I seem to be able to get along so well with people I would regard as low or high status
This video is gold. Mind blown
In my experience lowering of your status in front of bureaucrats is the easiest way to get them to do what you want, or provide the help you need.
Riffing on this, considering the status motivations (high or low) that would lead someone to choose a particular career in the first place - reveals something about how they expect to be treated
this really put things into perspective. i feel like all this stuff was swirling around in my head and now it's organized so i can understand.
"Status determines which chickens eat first"
Let me tell you about chickens...
please do!
1) Chickens form a complex polity which doesn't fully reveal itself until several members of a group come together under natural circumstances and give the "flock" life. This has obvious and significant implications for humans.
2) The closest chicken eats first.
@@JohnJones1987 Are you a chicken expert? Awesome
*unsubscribe from chicken facts*
@@liberationwasalie2982 lol