Modest is NOT Hottest
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ก.ค. 2021
- What is modest? What is modesty? And how do I dress in that type of way? I know it's not really a popular thing to talk about, but these questions come up each and every week so I thought I'd just go over them and discuss some important things we should consider.
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“Your dresses should be tight enough to show you're a woman and loose enough to show you're a lady. “ this is a quote from Edith Head. She was the costumer for so many of the greats including Grace Kelly. She is the one who I tell my girls to dress like. How often did you see her in slutty clothes?
Liked presentation.
I am a thin old lady. Turkey neck, granny flap arms and veins galore in legs. 77 is not pretty for me. But l lived through the 60s and 70s. The sad loneliness is similar to today. The craving for love becomes mad desperation.
I so appreciated you and Sister Miriam and Crystal as women who carry the message of the gift of sexual femininity.
Well said !! May we pray for those who feel they need the attention which is negative
Your wonderful:-)
@@cfradd You are*
That's so amazing that you are talking to teens. It gets hard to talk to those who prefer to let their goods hang out
Yaasss, thank you for this talk, Cameron! I love modesty for the comfort and tranquility it gives me when in public - I do not see my back side (back, shoulders, legs, thighs) and do not want others to investigate the parts of my body I even don't know myself. Naked skin draws human attention automatically, even my own, so. I love long dresses, wrapping in scarfs, because then I can actually relax, concentrate on worship or the conversation. And the more material I drag the more I feel like a queen. :)
Yeeeesee, also, Id point out, that it actually feels good to be provocative in the moment, so it is a temptation in that way because we sometimes want to recieve attention and we want men looking at us like that. And we need to be aware of it. I know Ive fallen for that many times, feeling "empowered" or confident by showing skin etc. But it took me a while to understand that that was not empowering, that was me selling myself short, and trying to get the love and attention I desired in a not so good way. Because I would never have felt comfortable if the men that saw me actually said or did something that showed they were lusting over me, I just liked the ilusion of feeling seen, when in reality i was not being seen in a dignified way, in a way I wantef, I was not being seen as a person but as an object. So yeah, we should check our hearts too, and if we are feeling tempted or lonely or invisible, we should turn to the lord, or to people who love us for help.
Thank you for speaking on the “hot” term. As Catholics we also need to be modest in our speech. I guess some people mean “hot” as attractive but I always take it as focused on the physical and pointing towards lust.
29 and grateful for this reminder!! Thank you.
This conversation/talk is long overdue….let’s hope the right people hear the message…imagine when young girls…ladies…raise the bar…young men…all men will be forced to change….no where to go up up….. Modesty and chastity is the only cure for this contraceptive, ‘my body, my choice’ culture of death…where anything goes…except true love and happiness…God Be With You…Ave Maria 🙏🏾💕
You said the words “I love chastity, and I love living it out in marriage”. Can you please unpack that for us some more. I think there’s a lot of confusion about that, and sometimes it’s not described bluntly enough by the theologians. Thanks!
uhm yeah...Uhm....I'm still like....Wut ?
Yes! I did not understand that comment at all can someone please explain? I thought chastity was refraining from sex before marriage...I thought once you were married, chastity wasn’t even an option. I’m so confused.. someone help, lol
@@karisherman3340 my understanding is that chastity is living out sexuality as God intended. As a single person that means abstinence. As a married person that means giving yourself totally to your spouse. If you were to never be intimate in your marriage it would actually be an unchaste relationship
@@anthonyamoroso3573 Huh, I'm going to dig further into it, but that certainly seems wise. And would make sense as a use of the word.
Christopher West on Chastity in Marriage: th-cam.com/video/ABewtIXLQUo/w-d-xo.html
Beautiful topic!
Its sad that we have to even have this conversation...but we do!
We also have to be more deliberate when dressing for Mass...maybe a future talk.
Thank you for this talk! Your experience and approach with younger girls in youth ministry is so helpful!
Loved your video! Sent to my daughter 💕
God bless you Cameron. I wish someone like you had come to my highschool and said these things.
Absolutely loved this. ❤️
My Junior High and High School had the rule that shorts had to be at the fingertips for girls. It was a small public school not a Catholic school, but there were some Irish Catholic roots in my state from the beginning so I think this was part of the modesty we were meant to attend. It also works well with immodesty of speech. A lady speaks in such a way that grace comes off her tongue. God’s own Mother, being called Full of Grace by the angel, spoke to her son because she imagined he would do something about the wine. She was a sinless woman; therefore, she did not have the same struggles with her imagination that other women conceive by their own musings. It’s enough to make you ponder at how deep a mystery it is for a woman to be so beautiful yet not overcome by her own ego and need to be liked.
I'd love Matt to cover down on the masculine part of this conversation.
It was really wonderful to hear you say that we all deserve hell. I don't know if there are any other Christian women out there brave enough to say that. Your "real" is beautiful!
Cameron thank you so much for talking about modesty I love what you said. 😀
Racial/ethnic minorities are often fetishized as something "exotic". Being treated in this way is particularly haunting; it is doubly objectivifying, usually very pronounced, and always very difficult to escape. This is definitely an area to explore in more depth.
Well done! 👍✝️
Mother mary should be our example in modesty and gender roles. She is the most important woman in history and she choose to dress modestly and to obey St. Joseph as her husband.
I am modest, rocking jeans and a tee/polo 7 days a week! To all the tall ladies who want to dress like a lady and be modest simultaneously but struggle to find anything with enough material to do so!!!
Living and raising children (only 4 and 2 now) in South Florida is definitely going to be a challenge. I love your take on this topic! I definitely don't dress as modest as I should, especially when I workout! (Going to work on that) Also, it is like 90 degrees here always, so that's tough. Anyway, I agree about the shoulders thing, but do you think the shoulders aren't as scandalous because of how immodest our society is?
Chastity is also lived out by couples who are married when they are practicing Natural Family Planning. They are sometimes called to refrain from sex due to health, size of family and spacing out children, or due to them discerning chastity for spiritual reasons. Catholic couples cannot use contraceptives because it’s like telling your spouse I love all of you, except your fertility. That’s not being fruitful, total, faithful and free. There’s a lot to this, and it would be good for the Fradds to discuss the truths and misconceptions of nfp, like people saying it’s another form of contraception. And just to answer this, It’s not though, because although you may want to space your children (not get preggo), you are ALWAYS open to life when the “marriage act” is performed, unlike using chemical means or physical means to block that possibility (pull out method). Again, there’s a lot to this. I hope they dedicate an episode to this.
I think it is probably more important to talk about beauty than about modesty. A woman should look a way that others would say 'Oh, she's beautiful', and not 'she's sexy', or whatever. Beauty is not easy to grasp in practical terms, but it is probably more helpful to impart into young minds than always telling the girls 'cover this, cover that'. I also think that looking well-groomed and dressing attractive is an act of love towards neighbor because no-one likes to look at someone with unwashed hair and dressed in a potato bag. I know, some Christian/Catholic girls think that the latter is what modesty is about, but it is not. God has given us our bodies to show His love and beauty towards others! That's what we should strive for as women.
You are a Doris Day lookalike! 😊Que Será, Será!
There’s an epidemic of see-through leggings and tank tops. And yes, I’ve seen (at least the leggings) in mass many times right after receiving communion.
Sorry on behalf of my fellow sisters!!
I like you so much Cameron but I feel so confused and sad when I watch your videos. I am 35 this weekend. I became a Christian and a Catholic 2 years ago. I lived an incredibly sinful and broken life before that. I can’t change the past but I wish I could go back and live my life differently. And I wish I could practice chastity now but my life is so complicated. 😔
Don't worry friend! God can do in a few days (or even moments) what humans would normally take many decades to accomplish. I experienced this first-hand after years of very unchaste life. Conversion and healing are often quite surprising but amazing journeys! Let's humbly pray for the virtue of hope :)
nothing worth doing is easy.
@Saritabug I promise you, you can start practicing Chastity right now. ❤️ No one can force you to have sex with them. That would be considered rape. If the person you are with will leave you if you stop having sex with them, then sadly, they don’t truly love you. A priest once told me if my (now ex) boyfriend wouldn’t wait for marriage, he didn’t really love me. I didn’t believe him. I thought, “That can’t be true. He does all this stuff for me, takes me out to expensive dinners, and buys me nice things. He has to love me.” The priest was right. If someone is willing to allow you to go to hell for their sexual gratification, they don’t love you. Jesus loves you SOOOOOO much though! 😍😍 He designed every single thing about you, and if He didn’t think you were worth making a man wait for, He wouldn’t tell you to do so. Sending you hugs and prayers! 🤗🙏🏼
Everything you have gone through has led you to where you are right now! The enemy wants to keep you stuck in the pain from the past (I can relate as a convert as well!), but don’t stay stuck there! All of the pain and complications from your past point to God’s mercy and the glory of the love He has for you. Praying for you!
Spending some time in front of the Blessed Sacrament has helped me so much, I’ve been so diluted with imagery, whether it’s words or pictures, that looking at the same things that others find beautiful is actually disheartening. It is a metaphysical reality that men want the cheap thing until they realize it will cost them something. My grandfather told my grandmother that she was a cheap date because she didn’t order steak or seafood from a restaurant. It isn’t necessarily helpful to consider this type of brokenness in our family’s past, but it is a true indication of where we should focus our energies. A man has to build his house to attract the woman he wants to marry and keep his house safe.
I encourage capris instead of shorts. They are cute and never get short enough to show too much. That said, one daughter likes shorts.
The first time I saw a "shirt dress", I had exactly that thought - Is that gal not wearing any pants?! It was at a wedding reception, which made it particularly odd.
Can you offer any advice for how men and women should compliment each other about their appearance? On the one hand, lust is especially common in our culture and I don't want to make any woman uncomfortable. I don't want a compliment to be mistaken for a come-on. On the other hand, I don't want to surrender the culture to evil and forego compliments or limit compliments only to some aspects of a person. Shouldn't we be eager to compliment each other, even about our most obvious gifts?
That giving of T-shirts to encourage modesty is a great idea. I will try to think of ways to accompany advice with generosity like that. Thanks.
It's very easy to mistake a compliment as meaning more, and some examinations of conscience list flattery as a sin, so I think its best to avoid them, your smile and the appreciation in your eyes will convey the message much better.
This is common sense.... if your clothes are too tight/showy, revealing, causing lust, or you're trying to lead people to lust.... you're sinning, probably mortally sinning. Of course you don't have to dress like a granny, but you can be modest and gorgeous..... but I agree, the word "hot" seems very lustful, and isn't a trait I'd want to be associated with. I prefer my future husband to have a larger range of high dollar vocabulary, thank you very much!
Lol the leftist tears tumbler @ 5:30
I hate to see men in tongs at church . I do not like to see men’s toes so exposed. Lol. But it’s true.
Unless its a discalced monk, right?
Perhaps you should read "Dressing With Dignity" by Colleen Hammond. It is a wonderful book. She does not promote short wearing. Any type of pants on a woman, short or long, accentuates the derriere. Men's eyes go right to the butt as well as the front crotch area. Women also look there, which is less of a problem, but it is human nature. Also, pants are men's clothing....not women's. St. Paul speaks of how wrong it is for men to dress as women and women to dress like men.
Yeah sorry, what does 'chastity in marriage' mean ?
I think she is not answering because it is exactly what you think it means…
Your answers are in the Theology of the body book.
Chastity means sexual virtue. For priests and nuns, that means celibacy. Chastity in marriage probably means not sexually objectifying the spouse, or willfully desiring another person.
@@annamaj203 u
Chastity is a mystery that manifests itself in two main orders: marriage and religious orders. We give ourselves so completely to a spouse because it is our basic call to give to another. You see it in the imagery of the Old Testament where God compares Israel to a faithless bride, she gave herself to all her lovers but not to the spouse who loved her. This is also closely tied to the sins of idolatry and adultery since both sound the same with slightly different implications.