6 Dont's As You Respond To A Narcissist
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No personal information. No opinions. Don't react. No emotions. Don't JADE (justify, argue, defend, explain). They just use it all against you. Everything gets misunderstood and distorted into something it's not.
Just so sad a life when there is no alternative because you are reliant on this person 😢
They are liar and father of liar in him
@ginnyrigg9288 yes it is. Dr C's video Calm Confidence teaches how to maintain your peace in their company. I hope you can find other nice people as well, if you have to stay. Try to keep them separate so the narcissist can't speak ill of you to them.
EVERYTHING
@@ginnyrigg9288 right here with you.
Thank you for using the words "non-cooperative, self-absorbed individual" instead of just 'narcissist' in the end.
Yes, now I see that narcissists don’t ask for explanations to gain understanding. They ask to try to frustrate by exploiting your answers.
Hearing this is a blessing.
Don't go DEEP. Don't; Defend Engage Explain Personalize.
🙏 THANK YOU‼️
I know you didn't intend it as a laugh line but when you asked, "Has the narcissist ever said, 'Hey! Good point!'"I LOL'd.
Me too 😂
Yep. My narcissistic Bro, now 72 who dates himself 73 by argument of when does another birth year begin? .. As he added 1 extra year to the birthday greeting;
I corrected with explanation in which he says technically so but not the norm accepted. You never get a sorry or accepted response.
Only a flood of so called proof that he's right. 🧐
@@DesertlizzyThe So when he is 99 he will say he is 100 and get an early congratulations from the Queen or King. 🎉
@@DesertlizzyThe mild ☺️
a coworker recently tried to schedule a "meeting" with me to air her emotional baggage and I'm like "Nope, I'm good, I respectfully decline." And that was that. Let them to talk to a paid therapist, don't let them use you as a dumping ground for their pathology.
Glad you declined it. They use you as an unpaid therapist.
Absolutely after divorcing these sick people they still try to irritate you and your peace. I just ignore the nonsense and the game playing I’m done with him your dealing with a child that never will be grown.
What drives the narcissist is their lack and sense of inadequacy ❤
You have nailed it
Don’t ever think that they will change ever!
And sometimes standing in that self respect means not relying at all and walking away.
Walking away is impossible with no affordable housing and no family or friends!
#7. Don't share information with them.
@@_ross5800 I have a boss that tries to act like he cares about asking how I’m doing. I keep it short and proceed to business with him. From what I hear, he likes to gossip and runs his mouth like a little school girl. I just keep it professional with him and talk about work -related . I will talk to him when he speaks to me but I will not share personal information with him.
Very good advice. Thank you Dr. C!
Glad it was helpful!
Go gray rock then no contact
Good stuff. I use a stoplight system to rank “threats.” Green is for sure healthy individuals or at least falling into healthy narcissism. Yellow is for individuals who exhibit passive aggressive behaviors and may be self absorbed. Though they may may fall short of 5 criteria to determine NPD per DSM-5, they need to be watched and.i should avoid exposing personal vulnerabilities to them. The red light comes out with behaviors associated with symptomatic NPD. No contact or gray rock should be considered for implementation.
Spot on. Brilliantly advised dr Carter ❤ Do stand in your own self- respect, unappologetically!
DRC all the way 👍
Just an hour ago, I wished the narc “a good shopping trip at Ollie’s.” He actually turned around and walked up to me to correct me, saying, “Big Lots. I’m going to BIG LOTS!” I didn’t even blink, just snickered after he’d walked out of earshot. So stupid, so predictable.
This information is so very helpful! this is empowering! Great channel!
Yes Sir! It's about time i care and fight for myself!
And yes doing all of these things will definitely get you discarded! Standing in your own self respect scares them away quickly! After 13 years he walked away again. I’m so relieved. I have no desire to have him in my life again. Healing is tough, but worth it to know you can finally be yourself or should I say find yourself again and who you once were. Thank you Lord for allowing me to find my peace again ❤
I am so grateful for you, Dr.Les Carter, for saving my life and so many others! I hope to meet you in person one day to thank you personally. I wish you could do a roundtable or some type of convention for survivors. I would fly to see you! However, I do live in lovely Las Vegas, where we have excellent choices of convention venues:)
Thanks so much, Betty.
🔥 Abolute FIRE, Dr C! 🔥 So very helpful. Thank you 👏
Like dealing with a cornered rabid wild animal......
It’s really hard not to feel all those things when he has completely destroyed your mind and soul…. 🙏
if he wants back in, "don't let him"
Absolutely 💯
God, I love this. Yes, this is what I need to do.
How Right You Are 😔
One more time : THANK YOU DR CARTER ❤
I told my malignant narcissist roommate, "I wouldn't have someone like you think well of me!" He's been on the warpath ever since. I ignore him.
I've dealt with narcissistic behavior in the past but find it even more confusing when someone who isn't a full blown narc shows traits. Is he just egocentric (due to family upbringing, arrested dev, or neuro-divergence)? Is he just set in his ways (selfish, difficulty with change, cog. dissonance)? He fits 99% of Dismissive Avoidant traits but is otherwise a good person. We're 50+ & idk if I want to continue feeling like my needs & feelings don't matter.
All of this is so exhausting at work. I have to transform into another person.
I’ve let go. She was all the delusion she tried to project onto me. I could not be trusted to continue the lies of mother. Controlling, manipulating, social triangulation. I lost interest. I did love her. I blocked and deleted her.
Thanks again Dr C
Before 2020 i never really if not rarely heard the term "narcissist"
It's become used like an insult. There’s little widespread understanding of NPD.
@tenningale it's a term probably made up to divide families. Normal fucked up programming.
Research has also that real narcissists are extremely rare. But everyone thinks they are a doctor these days
@@Tyler.Scott. Narcissists are everywhere. You’ll find out.
@ At least for me, it's just about behaviors, not focusing on the label or what technical criteria they might fit. These types of people rarely see therapists anyway because their defense mechanisms are so ingrained and everything is wrong with everybody else.
I really like the messages you put out there. Thank you for advocating self respect because every situation can be different
I always get a notification from you when I seem to need the reinforcement the most. Thank you.
Thahkyou Les you have helped me so much over the years of living with narc husband
So timely Dr. Carter 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Thank you for understanding living with such an unfeeling person is very hard
Record this, send them on their way and then send this to them! Tell them you're the narcissist and you can't bare treating them so awful! 😅 They must protect themselves.
I’m guilty of unraveling. It’s been 11 months post break up ( I threw him out) after 21 years. His disrespect has only escalated in more insidious fashion. I feel this need to defend myself- call out the behavior, even though I know it will change nothing. Sometimes, I think I feel like he wants to quiet me- and so ignoring plays into that silencing- maybe I’m looking at it wrong- I’m just tired of the bullying. And- at least if anything happens- my words are there- in email- no one can say “well why didn’t you say something” because of course it’s always the victims fault. Oops- and can we even say victims- it’s like nothing goes right in this experience. Doc- am I crazy?
No you're not, but narcs certainly try to make us crazy!😵💫🤯 Takes a lot of strength to bite our tongues & not fall into their trap. They'll behave long enough to regain trust, then lash out with insults & false accusations. So hard not to take the bait & defend yourself, but they don't think logically. Often they just do it to start drama bc they're bored & need attention. The stress isn't worth it. Ignore & go NC if you can!
Keeping it 💯
True factor's
Best advice ever! Thank you so much. Really needed to hear this!
Oh ! I needed to hear that × staying strong or more exactly, at least, trying to be. Impossible for me to thank you enough !
I needed to hear this today.
Thank you❤❤❤
Keep doing the next right thing
Yes!!!!!!
Thank you,👍
Thank you. Wonderful. Bless you.
Thanks for your knowledge.
Thank you. I appreciate your message.💯
You are quite welcome
Amen ♥️♥️ Thank you
Thank you so much sir 🙏
Facts! Holy thanks!
Love this❤I needed to hear this today
Great insights and advice!
Yes, and don't keep trying to fix their misery, especially if it means criticising someone else for them. Don't be a go-between.
I appreciate you so much Dr. C! Thank you for all you do for us!!!
I am finally getting here. Its amazing!
Pleased for you!!!
@SurvivingNarcissism I've have been watching your videos about 4 years now from Dallas. Been seeing the same counselor for 3 years. I have finally reached the stage of being able to truly let go of the toxic parents. I held onto hope for a breakthrough in the relationship, but it never came. It took my dad blaming me for my 16 year old son's suicide, but it was finally the action that allowed me to be free of them . Took 41 years, but now I can truly find "who I am" instead of who "I am supposed to be". Thank you for these videos. They have changed my life and my hope for a future.
Very helpful!
💯 agree and when you do this , they will show you even more true colours that you have already seen enough to be able to say enough is enough and let them know you were on to them the moment they decided to disrespect you 😂
Wow. You must have ESP, Dr. C.
Just what I needed to hear!
Glad it was helpful!
YES Sir 🎉
True just down in my own lane and everything just seems to work out much better but I mean they need to stay in our lane also. So it might be that he just wants to add some entertainment to the situation who knows. I don’t wanna justify it, right ty
7. Don't stay in contact if you have the possibility of leaving.
8. If leaving is impossible, make every form of separation your prime directive.
Thsnk you.
I think we are finally over them, you really don't try anymore. In fact their tactics are very obvious to someone who has battled and worked through all the insanity.
Thank you for the videos unfortunately I need the advice
Outstanding
True factor's
Amen 🙏 hand's
I don’t share any information I have about family members with my 89 year old narcissistic Mother. All she does is judge and belittle. When she finally finds out what information I have withheld the only thing I say in response is that she doesn’t have to know everything. And she doesn’t care so why should I share with her.
i’ve called mine a contrarian 💀💀
⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️
🙏☀️
He’s still waiting on a call back from 2 years ago! Lol
Orange facial dye is mandatory this year at the Met Gala 😅
Amen.
DrC❤
Give it to god❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Like I said l glance at window never go in very little
Ojalá estés viendo esto PP. Eres tú !!!!
Agree
I know this may be a crazy question… But after 25 years
, How do you stand in self respect?
What about the narcissist who “sincerely” apologizes but does not change his behavior? Which category is that?
That is a poser who is probably passive aggressive...says whatever is necessary to get off the hook while ultimately dismissing you.
@ Thank you.
WOOOW...
Amen
Stand up ?? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
I've never been so scared of another person in my whole life. my stomach is in knots 24/7/365
Get to safely. Even psychological & emotional abu$e is toxic to your health! Stay with friends or family if nec but if you don't live with the narc then go grey rock or no contact asap. They don't change easily if ever. Logic, empathy & perspective are not traits they possess.
❤
Don't talk to them. Good morning. That could be be too much. Better, I like your shirt.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
ACES
Narc's 👿😡 don't care
👌👌💪
👏👏👏👏🙌🙌🙌🙌
Good advice,but the best is stay away.
Two states minimum,great advice?......different coasts
E____________💠_____________W
U could save it for another night . 😊
God and the Saints will be the final
Judges. Jesus has already forgiven us and died for our sins. But the Saints will Judge us all at our end day.