Medieval Memes ------------------------------------------------------ Check these out or i will cry • Twitter - / vaazkl • Discord - / discord ----------------------------------------------------------
The fact that medieval armors were incredibly flexible while still being very effective at the time just shows what humanity can do when it's something they actually need.
Many moderns just think people back them were stupid, granted this is a common trend as the Renaissance lot called French architecture gothic as they went all Roman and the Enlightenment messed up history. On something like military matters, you will either die or progress and that is what happened you have arrows that pierce (To a greater or lesser degree.)? Well these Milanese armourers dunked my armour into water a bit and now it can barely do it (They actually lost the battle but that was because the commander was so good on the English side and blunt force trauma kills. Plus the Milanese cavalrymen were mercenaries and money.) and on and on.
That, and people also forget that armor and weapons had been in development over thousands of years. The first swords were invented more or less in the bronze age. That's close to 3000 years of development and practical testing by the late medieval period. Guns, on the other hand, have been around for _at most_ about 1000 years. Imagine what we'll come up with by the time guns have been around as long as swords were.
Like the one that called the kings son a bastard and was to be executed but the king granted him his own execution due to him being a good jester. Told him he wanted to die of old age so the king exiled him.
@@velarswood They were in fact employed to roast monarchs. I once came across something that said Queen Elizabeth the First remonstrated with her jester because he wasn't harsh enough.
@@TheMimiSard that's awesome. I know some were an advisor role because they were honest and open. I'm sure if the kings general got too out of line there would have been some repercussions and prolly be sent to die in some God aweful war.
0:08 common misconception: armor is not super heavy, you can move almost like normal, and the weight it adds is distributed across your whole body, making it not to difficult to carry around. Meaning you can still run, or even do some acrobatics in it.
A full harness was typically at least 40 kilograms all up and yes distributed around the wearers body, but still heavy and required strength training to bear the weight. Quite flexible though.
The slowness seen in movies and tv is (from what I think) jousting armour, witch is heavier and bulkier because turns out, while getting hit by a large wooden pole at over 40 mph (from what I think) you need a bit more armour to walk that shit off
13:05 they did actually have guns in the medieval era, for example in the fall of Constantinople 1453 (the end of the medieval era) there were reports of guns being used, though it is true that these guns were still flawed and would be improved in future.
Guns is a fairly tame word for what was at the Fall of Constantinople, the “Guns of Urban” were oversized proto cannons. That said there might have been a few and I mean very few smaller cannons and handheld guns floating around but hose were still rare by the time of the 40 years war
@@stoirmslw7195 I agree, there were barely any handheld guns at the time, I should have clarified their rarity and relatively poor quality compared to just using a bow or crossbow.
The bohemian hussites were one of the first to employ gunpowder weapons to great effect during the hussite wars (crusades and invasion into Bohemia to quell the religious uprising of Hussites)
As a person who absolutely did not kill a time traveler to steal his time machine and got stuck in this timeline from the medieval, i would say that these memes were funny
Jesters were badass, they were kind of reality checkers for some kings but mostly tester of virtues.More talented the jester is capable of slinging mud at their king, the stronger the king was for taking it.
4:05 personally, I enjoy the visored barbute, stylish, simple, sleek, and effective. If not that however, probably a Armet (I am aware that the barbute historically did not have a visor, but I like it with one because it’s cool, bite me)
I like the barbute as well, but personally I would choose the spangenhelm because of how well it obscures the face, without the helm looking chunky or causing difficulties moving the wearer’s head, and it also looks awesome.
actually the tail end of medieval era they had cannons ands flintlock muskets that took about a minute to load prep aim then fire... assuming it didnt blow up and kill you so cannons were more useful.
The first "musket" like gunpowder weapons was called the arquebus, and some before that was the houfnice (howitzer), "primitive" cannons and also, basically a barrel on a long stick.
That last one is actually decently accurate: They did have guns in the medieval era and armoured mounted warriors were in use all the way until modernity. Only really stopped employing them by WW1.
6:12 If you were in medieval times, you literally wouldn't be able to buy tomatoes. They technically didn't exist anywhere across Europe, Africa, or Asia - tomatoes were imported from the Americas.
Don't believe the holiday thing ,when they had "holiday" it was during winter and they were still working but for the maintenance of the village and the castle rather than doing farming (they still had to take care of the animals when they had some too)
That one about peasants and vacation was debunked, HARD. Peasants only had to work 140 days out of the year, for THE MONARCHY. They still worked everyday, because the 140 days of work, didnt count towards the taxes they owed to the king. So farmers had crops they grew for the king, crops they grew to pay the kings tax, and crops they grew to try and survive winter.
4:07 Armet easy, because you can attach a Gorget to protect the neck unlike the Spangehelm, Basinet, Great helm, Hounskull and Kettle hat. You have a Visor so tgat you can see perfectly and still be protected unlike the Great helm and Frog-mouth. And it has face protection unlike the Bascinet and Kettle hat
Only 36 minutes late and I like the dog. Edit: Wages actually rose after the plague (Demand and Supply.) and there were social revolts like Wat Tyler's rebellion which Richard II ably defeated by hunting down and executing them when they went home, in France it was more to do with mercenaries killing everyone and the Lords not doing their jobs of defending the peasants (A lot of them were children by this point though.), Charles V of France was quite the Monarch and also dealt with the issue well if with similar force as in England. Strictly speaking there were cannons, called gonnes I think, at the time of the Hundred Years' War famously in The Battle of Crécy (1346) where they were used to defend the carriages with the baggage I think...they were utterly useless by the way and my favourite adage applies: "as dangerous to its users as its foes" however their morale effect was definitely significant (Imagine the noise of a gonne when you have never heard of one before.). Nevertheless the chroniclers never mentioned it and some 19th Century dude had to dig up the balls on the fields.
Mid to late 15th century, they actually already had guns, and it was still technically the middle ages until 1492. So there was an entire century of medieval history where a guy with a gun and armor could have shot a medieval knight in full plate armor.
1:00 Many suits of armor had a special apendage in which the p*nis would rest. Said feature had wire mesh at the tip so the wearer could relieve himself without taking the suit off
Maybe I'm wrong, but i believe catapults where used for gates that where too dangerous to get near to break down (maybe like a weaker and much cheaper cannon)
4:06 Sallet with neck guard perfect combination of protection while maintaining a lot of peripheral visibility and with two ways to open it to be able to breathe and see better if necessary and the very important protection of the back of the neck and beautiful design True, it is not the most protective but it is not the one with the least, it will still keep you very alive.
4:06 I'd like the great helm the most to just wear it for fun and armet for being well made. It would be a very good helmet for battles, wars and fights; sadly, i cannot say the same with the great helm
It’s called Pennsic! The medieval festival in Pennsylvania! I’ve been. There’s a massive war and everything. It’s really fun 10/10 would Recommend. Also my father is in the picture at 7:29!
Ive actually been inside Eltz Castle and the tour is really interesting there. I can also confirm, that the thing with the 33 Generations is true till this day
0:38 Nothing has taught me the sheer power of stick, than LARPing as a pre-teen and losing almost every fight when using most weapons, and then getting spear, and becoming unstoppable.
13:06 they did have guns in the late medieval period. there was this brief time where you could see a knight dual wielding pistols. the pike and shot era was fun.
The idea that medieval peasants are being fed hundreds of bags worth of candy because people assume humans from 400 years ago would die if they tasted food is very funny
It surprises me how little people know about the medieval times. They took real baths, guns were invented in the medieval period, and medicine was used.
Hold up did anyone else just realize that tomatoes are a new world crop and wouldn’t be widely available in Europe in the Middle Ages ? Because I always imagined people throwing them at actors they didn’t like or whatever, but they weren’t even around!?
The peasent worked less, but made his own clothes and house, had no electricity, plumbing, or AC/heating, and no modern medicine. I will take the AC, thank you.
contrary to popular belief, the "vacation time" a peasant got was seasonal, because ninety percent of peasant's work was farm related, so aside from feeding animals and patching the homestead, the rest was farming, therefore, yes they did get lots of time off, but that was because they didnt' have much to do outside the local smith and some other odd job people like sales people etc, so of course the clergy kept them happy cuz they where probably either bored, hungry, or both, it's also why the majority of our holidays are in the fall and winter, cuz food and the depression of dying from the cold etc
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drop some video ideas on what u wanna see, have a good day
What about rage quits?
tf2 memes
thanks for making a video on how cool i am
Maybe some wholesome memes again. I like them.
floor memes
The fact that medieval armors were incredibly flexible while still being very effective at the time just shows what humanity can do when it's something they actually need.
Many moderns just think people back them were stupid, granted this is a common trend as the Renaissance lot called French architecture gothic as they went all Roman and the Enlightenment messed up history. On something like military matters, you will either die or progress and that is what happened you have arrows that pierce (To a greater or lesser degree.)? Well these Milanese armourers dunked my armour into water a bit and now it can barely do it (They actually lost the battle but that was because the commander was so good on the English side and blunt force trauma kills. Plus the Milanese cavalrymen were mercenaries and money.) and on and on.
@@johnnotrealname8168natural selection at its finest.
More like when it comed to killing each other
That, and people also forget that armor and weapons had been in development over thousands of years. The first swords were invented more or less in the bronze age. That's close to 3000 years of development and practical testing by the late medieval period.
Guns, on the other hand, have been around for _at most_ about 1000 years. Imagine what we'll come up with by the time guns have been around as long as swords were.
Yea that armor was quite flexible but even in old armor it was quite flexible such as mail and lamellar
Remember, Jesters were medieval stand-up comedians and they did political commentary.
Like the one that called the kings son a bastard and was to be executed but the king granted him his own execution due to him being a good jester. Told him he wanted to die of old age so the king exiled him.
Some things never change
@@velarswood They were in fact employed to roast monarchs. I once came across something that said Queen Elizabeth the First remonstrated with her jester because he wasn't harsh enough.
@@TheMimiSard that's awesome. I know some were an advisor role because they were honest and open. I'm sure if the kings general got too out of line there would have been some repercussions and prolly be sent to die in some God aweful war.
And they were often one of the most trusted advisors since they could freely to the king and didn’t get executed for not being a yes man to the king
0:08 common misconception: armor is not super heavy, you can move almost like normal, and the weight it adds is distributed across your whole body, making it not to difficult to carry around. Meaning you can still run, or even do some acrobatics in it.
A full harness was typically at least 40 kilograms all up and yes distributed around the wearers body, but still heavy and required strength training to bear the weight.
Quite flexible though.
So it’s heavy to lift but to wear it’s much lighter than you would think. Neat
@@WhatIsSanitymore like 40 lbs not kilos, or 20 kilos, unless you are specifically talking about jousting armour
@@wither_klng2881
20 kilos is 52 pounds, and mail is heavy as hell. A full set of mail alone for a big dude could easily weigh 20 kilos on its own.
The slowness seen in movies and tv is (from what I think) jousting armour, witch is heavier and bulkier because turns out, while getting hit by a large wooden pole at over 40 mph (from what I think) you need a bit more armour to walk that shit off
As a person born in a medieval city, currently living in a medieval village, I see this as an absolute win.
13:05 they did actually have guns in the medieval era, for example in the fall of Constantinople 1453 (the end of the medieval era) there were reports of guns being used, though it is true that these guns were still flawed and would be improved in future.
Guns is a fairly tame word for what was at the Fall of Constantinople, the “Guns of Urban” were oversized proto cannons. That said there might have been a few and I mean very few smaller cannons and handheld guns floating around but hose were still rare by the time of the 40 years war
@@stoirmslw7195 I agree, there were barely any handheld guns at the time, I should have clarified their rarity and relatively poor quality compared to just using a bow or crossbow.
Vlad Dracula Tepes famously used a good number of handcannons in an ambush that saw a superior Ottoman force destroyed
The bohemian hussites were one of the first to employ gunpowder weapons to great effect during the hussite wars (crusades and invasion into Bohemia to quell the religious uprising of Hussites)
As a person who absolutely did not kill a time traveler to steal his time machine and got stuck in this timeline from the medieval, i would say that these memes were funny
Now do dragon memes.
1:06 the stretching rack was actually a medical tool in ancient Rome. It was used to fix back problems such as slipped disks.
Ancient roman chiropractor on his first day: what if we just... kept going?
0:25 single handedly one of the best jokes in cinematic history, we need more movies like Shrek 2 🗿
"Sword Wielding Medieval Knight Vigilante takes on a Street Gang."
"parry this you filthy casuals." - Vigilante Knight
Jesters were badass, they were kind of reality checkers for some kings but mostly tester of virtues.More talented the jester is capable of slinging mud at their king, the stronger the king was for taking it.
10:34 He has plenty of healing items, he'll chip away at you like *_your_* the boss enemy.
4:05 personally, I enjoy the visored barbute, stylish, simple, sleek, and effective. If not that however, probably a Armet
(I am aware that the barbute historically did not have a visor, but I like it with one because it’s cool, bite me)
I like the barbute as well, but personally I would choose the spangenhelm because of how well it obscures the face, without the helm looking chunky or causing difficulties moving the wearer’s head, and it also looks awesome.
Bro honestly I can't get over how nice the Frog helm looks
my guys really been sleepin on the spagenhelm
I'm much more of a sallet enjoyer very stylish while being very practical/light
@@marcus4046facts man, we gotta retake Jerusalem
actually the tail end of medieval era they had cannons ands flintlock muskets that took about a minute to load prep aim then fire... assuming it didnt blow up and kill you so cannons were more useful.
The first "musket" like gunpowder weapons was called the arquebus, and some before that was the houfnice (howitzer), "primitive" cannons and also, basically a barrel on a long stick.
❌ meddy-evil
✅ meddeevil
middle ages 🗿
@@Dud079 Knight Time 🗿
@normalusername5223 Castle era 🗿
My dad approves of this video.
W father
middle aged father i see
Good
@@Clubstep94 double entendre
That last one is actually decently accurate: They did have guns in the medieval era and armoured mounted warriors were in use all the way until modernity. Only really stopped employing them by WW1.
@@haloman834 Conquistadors are definitely not medieval.
I didn't realize how much I love medieval memes. ALSO while I was looking up Medieval snails I learned that GIANT SLOTHS existed!!!
There's a (small) possibility a relic population is in South America.
Okay those modern medieval helmets look cool as crap.
6:12 If you were in medieval times, you literally wouldn't be able to buy tomatoes. They technically didn't exist anywhere across Europe, Africa, or Asia - tomatoes were imported from the Americas.
I wish I could live in medieval times but I know I’d get my limbs cut off for having rash on them
Not cut. Just burned with metal rod without anastesia in place of a rush.
Unless you were a peasant and then no one would care and you would just die from starvation
as a medieval warrior, these are accurate
Thank you VaazkL for making content for us every day, keep up the amazing work ❤
Don't believe the holiday thing ,when they had "holiday" it was during winter and they were still working but for the maintenance of the village and the castle rather than doing farming (they still had to take care of the animals when they had some too)
1:24 this proves cats have been interfering since the dawn of time
That's the equivalent of a cat sitting in your keyboard while you are texting
4:07 Barbute and Great Helm are my two favorites, especially in cartoons and drawn styles when the face is obscured.
3:08 no, it translates to "I remember I am human." homo means human not gay
5:55 I want one of those helmets
4:04 hounskull helmets are actually a variation of the Bascinet
That one about peasants and vacation was debunked, HARD.
Peasants only had to work 140 days out of the year, for THE MONARCHY.
They still worked everyday, because the 140 days of work, didnt count towards the taxes they owed to the king.
So farmers had crops they grew for the king, crops they grew to pay the kings tax, and crops they grew to try and survive winter.
2:01 No but he has no headache anymore, that’s a mission well done
i love medieval times so much its just so interesting to me and it will never not be
That sword wielding medieval knight vigilante just accomplished a side quest
4:07 Armet easy, because you can attach a Gorget to protect the neck unlike the Spangehelm, Basinet, Great helm, Hounskull and Kettle hat. You have a Visor so tgat you can see perfectly and still be protected unlike the Great helm and Frog-mouth. And it has face protection unlike the Bascinet and Kettle hat
4:03 Pure aesthetic, it's probably the Spangenhelm. Aesthetic and functionality, I'll go with the Great Helm.
Only 36 minutes late and I like the dog. Edit: Wages actually rose after the plague (Demand and Supply.) and there were social revolts like Wat Tyler's rebellion which Richard II ably defeated by hunting down and executing them when they went home, in France it was more to do with mercenaries killing everyone and the Lords not doing their jobs of defending the peasants (A lot of them were children by this point though.), Charles V of France was quite the Monarch and also dealt with the issue well if with similar force as in England. Strictly speaking there were cannons, called gonnes I think, at the time of the Hundred Years' War famously in The Battle of Crécy (1346) where they were used to defend the carriages with the baggage I think...they were utterly useless by the way and my favourite adage applies: "as dangerous to its users as its foes" however their morale effect was definitely significant (Imagine the noise of a gonne when you have never heard of one before.). Nevertheless the chroniclers never mentioned it and some 19th Century dude had to dig up the balls on the fields.
Mid to late 15th century, they actually already had guns, and it was still technically the middle ages until 1492.
So there was an entire century of medieval history where a guy with a gun and armor could have shot a medieval knight in full plate armor.
1:35 we laughed but...1 sick flying rat and look at us now.
Now i want to buy a sword and a frogmouth helmet
tbh i never knew that canada had _double bladed_ scythes.
I just knew that war scythes were usually reconfigured farmer tools.
I am pretty sure the meme was just making fun of Canada, that if medieval Canada actually existed, they'd have weapons based off the hockey stick lol
8:35
if you say "im a bitch, im a lover, im a cut churning butter" it sort of rhymes
This video is fire, we’re making it out of the dungeon with this one. 🔥🔥🔥
1:00 Many suits of armor had a special apendage in which the p*nis would rest. Said feature had wire mesh at the tip so the wearer could relieve himself without taking the suit off
4:05 i want one similar to the one abyss watchers wear
Maybe I'm wrong, but i believe catapults where used for gates that where too dangerous to get near to break down (maybe like a weaker and much cheaper cannon)
4:06 Sallet with neck guard perfect combination of protection while maintaining a lot of peripheral visibility and with two ways to open it to be able to breathe and see better if necessary and the very important protection of the back of the neck and beautiful design
True, it is not the most protective but it is not the one with the least, it will still keep you very alive.
2:21 we gotta start one quick, we can't let this happen
bro ransacked the last week of r/memes the moment it turned medieval
4:06 I'd like the great helm the most to just wear it for fun and armet for being well made. It would be a very good helmet for battles, wars and fights; sadly, i cannot say the same with the great helm
It’s called Pennsic! The medieval festival in Pennsylvania! I’ve been. There’s a massive war and everything. It’s really fun 10/10 would Recommend. Also my father is in the picture at 7:29!
Vaazkl keep up the good work.
Ive actually been inside Eltz Castle and the tour is really interesting there. I can also confirm, that the thing with the 33 Generations is true till this day
0:38 Nothing has taught me the sheer power of stick, than LARPing as a pre-teen and losing almost every fight when using most weapons, and then getting spear, and becoming unstoppable.
there's just something that bothers me about hearing the word "medieval" beng pronounced like that so often in a row-
13:06 they did have guns in the late medieval period. there was this brief time where you could see a knight dual wielding pistols. the pike and shot era was fun.
13:07 they did have guns, they were basically tiny cannons on sticks with a lever that would lower a piece of smouldering cord to the touch hole
0:30 Didn't realize the Beekeeper enemies in the begining of A Plague Tale Requiem where historically accurate 👍
imagine being forced to take holidays by the church.
The idea that medieval peasants are being fed hundreds of bags worth of candy because people assume humans from 400 years ago would die if they tasted food is very funny
fun drinking game to play while watching this video
everytime vaazkl says medieval, take a drink
8:31
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
4:07
Spangenhelm, protective _and_ flexible, tho the Armet is sick too
This dude should be a movie narrator.
Jesters feel like that one friend who you both shittalk, but really get along for no apparent reason.
Good memes but the way you say medieval makes me want to join the front lines against the goblin raiders tbh
Yayyyy he posted
My favorite helm is actually the Great Bascinet but sonce it isn't here... the Salet.
4:04 my favorite helmet is the great helm.
4:07 Ah, so you prefer the Frog-mouth? What a fascinating choice.
I'd go with the Sallet as my helmet
I laughed harder and harder through that whole video that I actually didn't realize I peed😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
4:04 kettle hat, ez. salet is a close 2nd, but i like the kettle hat because it keeps the shade out of my eyes.
There were actually dinosaur bones excavated in ancient times! There even was a museum with such findings right next to the library in Alexandria
It surprises me how little people know about the medieval times. They took real baths, guns were invented in the medieval period, and medicine was used.
Am I having a stroke or was this 15 seconds of the funniest chicken add I’ve ever seen
0:40
Honestly, I wish even in meme format, humans got credit for creating dogs.
Great helm or spangenhelm. Those gotta be my two favorites.
They did too have guns in the medieval era. They just didn't have *flintlocks.* Those are renaissance.
Don another piece of thine armor every time Vaaz says Medival
4:06 Great Helm is my favourite
What is funny about the last meme is that firearms reached Europe in the late medieval era and full plate armor was invented solely to counter it.
4:07 my fav helmet must be the hounskull
Love the title
those who don't realize there were guns in the medieval era: "ThErE wErEn'T gUnS iN tHe MeDiEvAl ErA"
those who do: "yes there were"
Remember
4:06 ngl, the frog mouth. I'd put little eyes on the side
3:27 i just found this so iconic idk why-
First meme reminds me of Pokémon Sword and Shield
As a history nerd: guns were invented in the medieval era
There were, infact, guns in the middle ages
Hold up did anyone else just realize that tomatoes are a new world crop and wouldn’t be widely available in Europe in the Middle Ages ? Because I always imagined people throwing them at actors they didn’t like or whatever, but they weren’t even around!?
I love the medieval times thanks you just made my day
The peasent worked less, but made his own clothes and house, had no electricity, plumbing, or AC/heating, and no modern medicine.
I will take the AC, thank you.
2:34 Not like he has to eat it after the first time...
Thou has giveth the most interesting of information. I do think it is quite well, may art thou continue giving this material.
imagen the final boss healing like you do, there like 0.1 heal and just before you win they eat tons of food and your just there like "brah".
My Favourite Medieval Helmet - Barbute.
The whole merchant is the final boss concept was put into practice in the game "Icewind dale"
the thumbnail is just a medieval mma match
8:06 people feeling up the woman has me laughing.
contrary to popular belief, the "vacation time" a peasant got was seasonal, because ninety percent of peasant's work was farm related, so aside from feeding animals and patching the homestead, the rest was farming, therefore, yes they did get lots of time off, but that was because they didnt' have much to do outside the local smith and some other odd job people like sales people etc, so of course the clergy kept them happy cuz they where probably either bored, hungry, or both, it's also why the majority of our holidays are in the fall and winter, cuz food and the depression of dying from the cold etc