Take A Ride On The SCOTUS Roller Coaster | Late Show's Crotch Wotch
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ก.ย. 2024
- The last day of this year's Supreme Court session brought us a potentially devastating ruling that limits the power of the EPA, and the historic swearing in of the country's first Black woman justice, Ketanji Brown Jackson. In lighter news, Stephen introduced a new segment that tracks this summer's hottest trends, The Late Show's "Crotch Wotch." #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel: bit.ly/ColbertY...
Watch full episodes of "The Late Show": bit.ly/1Puei40
Listen to "The Late Show Pod Show" podcast: link.chtbl.com...
Like "The Late Show" on Facebook: on. 1df139Y
Follow "The Late Show" on Twitter: bit.ly/1dMzZzG
Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram: bit.ly/29wfREj
Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS.
---
The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.
As a Finn, I'm glad that my country can make it to the news in America every once in a while. I think our NATO membership is truly significant for the entire alliance, since our defence capabilities are outstanding considering our resources. I'm very glad to finally be joining our western allies! Greetings from Finland! 🇫🇮🤝🏻🇺🇲
Congratulations to your country. 🙂
Welcome! 🙂
Glad and thankful to have you on board! 🇫🇮🤝🇩🇪
Welcome to the club. It's good to have you on board. 🇺🇲🤝🇫🇮
We're glad to have you. Putin is scared TO DEATH of you guys. You must be doing something right!
The 9th Supreme Court Justice was added in 1869 "The Judiciary Act of 1869" to match the number of circuit courts we had in this country. We now have 13 circuit courts, it is our responsibility as loyal American citizens to demand they correct this mistake. Appoint 4 more justices NOW!
That's beautiful.
Well..all we gotta do is get 60 votes together to create the Judiciary Act of 2022. (which is NOT going to happen). So we need to get the number of votes needed down from 60 to 51 But to do that we need 67 votes to get rid of Senate Rule 22..The filibuster.
Aannnndd good luck with that.
@@TheUluxian Anything is possible. Probability is a different matter.
@@TheUluxian I don't think that's accurate? My understanding from various legal podcasts is that Senate rules are not laws and do not follow the same process as laws. Instead they are decided by simple majority on the first legislative day. However, the "first legislative day" itself has whatever definition congress decides it has, and theoretically a simple majority could just decide it's always the first legislative day, and throw out filibuster at any time.
The problem isn't procedural, it's willpower. The filibuster has *much* more than procedural protections behind it. Because it's not only protective of the party that's out of power, it's extremely useful for the party *in* power. It allows them to publicly adopt more extreme positions as a way of posturing to the base, without ever having to take a difficult vote which (A) they'd then have to defend in a general election or (B) they already know would have bad consequences. (Lots of things are popular which are nevertheless awful ideas...)
So yes, basically the filibuster means that people can be voted into power and yet remain powerless. So they get the office, but don't have to do anything in return. It's insidious.
E.G. "oh it's so important to change X, and we should really do it immediately, but it can't get past filibuster, hands tied. Maybe if you elected more people from my party we'll actually be able to do it. Until then I'm *so* in favor of that but it's not gonna happen."
Sounds like something based on the traditions of America.
The Supreme Court Justices who lied under oath at their hearings should be forced to resign. There must be term limits and if they don't put their personal beliefs aside they should be fired!
When will that be?
Hear, hear!!!! I'm ALL for it....
@@Zakaria3400 when we make it so
Add more Justices too, and limit terms!!
I believe perjury is sufficient cause for impeachment.
Did you know that the Supreme Court originally had six justices and that the number was raised to nine to match the number of judicial circuits? Well, now there are 13 judicial circuits, so following that precedent the number of justices should be increased to 13.
Many other things need to be changed concerning the Supreme Court. For one thing, lifetime terms needs to go. A generous term of perhaps 12 years should be more than enough. And make it so that one or two justices' terms ends every 4 years, giving the current president a chance to nominate justices who will pull the court back towards the middle.
Time to pack the court!
8:56 Vas deferens was actually a genius joke
I felt so proud to have gotten it immediately! I'm so glad I paid attention in class!
It absolutely was. Kind of makes up for the whistling genital joke. (almost.)
I've been using that joke for over 30 years, made it up myself. Thanx for the compliment!
Congress already did decide to empower the EPA to form regulations to protect the environment. Clear Air Act, Clean Water Act, etc. empowered the creation of regulations and a regulatory agency to enforce them.
congress cannot delegate its ability to legislate. period. the epa effectively crossed that line, and got its ass handed back on a platter, legally speaking.
They know that
Strange how the only SCOTUS precedent Clarence Thomas doesn't want to revisit/overturn is Loving v Virginia, which allows inter-racial marriages... like his own.
He is a snake fr
Duhhhhhh 🥴
It wont stand if any others fall under the privacy clause.
I want that one to go down next, if only to punish the Thomases.... They deserve it!!!
It'd be a cheap divorce...
I could never have gotten through the past 5-6 years without you Stephen. There have been times when I thought my head would explode from the insanity that has hit this country and the world. We need to make you a national treasure.
Lovely show, how are you doing Dr Betty?
Doc, you woke but not awake
Yes, the last 2 years have been really maddening with Ice Cream Joe and Cackling Kamala in office .
Stephen lies to you night after night. I guess you don't know much about history or science.
@@thomasanderson6523 Communist propaganda.
Justice Neil Gorsuch’s mother Anne Buford Gorsuch was the Secretary of EPA 1981-1983. She reduced the agency’s budget 22%, she indicated the agency was over-regulating and said it should be the states to determine the rules and reduced filing cases of companies over polluting. She technically allowed more pollution and refused to go after the polluters. Her son Justice Gorsuch wrote a separate opinion with today’s SCOTUS decision and it resembles his mother opinion that EPA was over regulating . The Supreme Court is acting like a policy maker or legislative agenda instead of interpret and make decisions based on the constitution. I’ve never seen in my life the Supreme Court making decisions based on their own personal religious and political views. They said Roe vs Wade was a big mistake from the beginning; at that time even conservative judges agreed with the decision.
I think they are making egregious decisions and overturn a half century decision. I think they are the ones making a wrong decision with a very vague justification and interpretation.
The decision on the EPA reflects the opinion of one of the Judges’s mother reducing or limited government agencies regulations. Are we going to live in a country without regulations and law and order apparently?
Assuming we don't get Trump or his sludge-spring children as the next term, the president, as of now Biden, can declare an expansion of court. This means their power would be null and they would be forced to dictate a law or leave it be, not make up new shit or destroy what's there.
The courts tried their power hungry take over back in Lincolns term. He did this, entertaining the idea of court expansion. They stopped their shit *real* quick.
Overreach of power and abuse of power is a serious crime as well, they aren't immune to impeachment as well.
Apparently so, until we balance the scales and reverse the direction tfg took us. 😑
If they get their way, YES, we will live in a country with little to no regulations……one needn’t look back too far in the past to see what no regulation looks like. Today, much of the water and land is this country is so polluted that we will NEVER get it back. They won’t be happy until every piece of land and every waterway is more dangerous than useful…..the worst part is that so many republican voters love hunting and fishing, yet they’ll vote for the very ppl that will destroy the environment making any game and fish inedible and full of toxins…very disturbing.
Huh, ACB's dad worked for Shell, they are probably bonding over how his mom helped her dad.
I didn’t know this. Thank you
the whole point is Congress delegated that power to EPA, it would be up to CONGRESS to eliminate it, not SCOTUS. They clearly overstep the line.
This will not be the first time. They’re drunk on power, testing it’s limits now.
Any control of CO2 is communism, not science.
Justices should be impeached. Congress gave EPA authority to protect environment.
The SCOTUS is revealing that they too have no low that they can't reach. Eviscerated the EPA? Now that even the GOP have quietly been accepting global warming they prove that they could care less. Party first, America 2nd and I guess world and humanity last.
I think that the "originalists" aren't very familiar with the Constitution or the founding fathers. The post office was a regulatory agency and has been with us since 1789, @ the latest.
@@tangentreverent4821
'Originalist'; fash, by any other name would suck as hard.
The EPA is vital to our health and our planet. This ruling is crazy.
_"Why was his scrotum whistling? It couldn't remember the words"_ - 😂😂😂😂 Or maybe it was just in a good mood.
Congratulations Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson! You’re beginning at a time when the Supreme Court is in crisis. Let us hope that you can help steer it to a more ethical position.
With a conservative majority, good luck
Abolishing the Supreme Court is best.
incoming conservative bots
God over Country
Trump Taliban
Too bad she and the rest of the minority on the court have no ethics and have no integrity..and one Democrat appointed justice to replace another liberal justice probably won’t change a thing. Impeach Thomas, impeach the other 3 liars, especially kavanaugh who has the temperament of a corner bar drunk
Some of the Supreme Court justices have clearly had "too many beers"...
Well then can with all the money they're being paid
I like beer
So Kavanagh, lol
Get rid of the Supreme Court
One of them used to like beer, he still does but he used to too
The Boris impression was shockingly good 👍
lol indeed it took me offguard
Given how partisan the SC is now there really needs to be judicial oversight.
Part of the reason why the SC has lifetime appointments was because we don't want to create a "Who watches the watchmen?" situation. Unfortunately, Republicans have found so many loopholes to pervert that concept and now is using the SCOTUS as their tool.
Shhh, I can hear The Federalist plotting to infiltrate that oversight system
They are supposed to. It’s called the executive and legislative branches. Checks and balances.
Abso-fuckin-lutely. They've been overreaching all damn week. Show them what happens when they let zenon poisoning build up.
A friendly reminder to the LSSC staff and Stephen, Justin Trudeau is our prime minister. Our provincial premiers are like your state governors. And thank you for providing the best comedy and commentary late night has to offer.
I was going to say that!
i hate when Americans report on us and refuse to understand what they are even saying
Sorry about that, Canada. We're not very good at politics, as you can tell.
It looked like AP called him Premier and LSSC went with it.
'premier' and 'prime minister' are synonyms.
The Supreme Court Term Justices who lied under oath should be kicked off the court. There should be no exceptions. Term limits too. for the court and congress.
I want a “Punch Dolphins In The Taint Agency” patch for my jacket. They should sell them to raise money for environmental issues.
This is brilliant actually
Yes please.
Seriously, I really think that would work.
I would buy one
Love it!
"The vas deferens" joke was top notch. Coming from a healthcare professional
I was looking for this comment :))
I think SC thought his audience got it, but I'm not so sure... he said it kinda fast and this would have to be a really sharp medically inclined group to grasp it... could be wrong
@@bikingal4283 You don't need to be 'medically inclined'. My friend made the same joke 30+ years ago when we were in high school. It's something we learned in public school in sex education in sixth grade, not something only people in the medical field would know. Unless things have changed in American education.
@@MrChopsticktech I mean, something like 26 states don't require sex education, sooo.....
Coming!
HA!🤣
Here is something else for the guys to think about when deciding on a vasectomy. I have heard many, many stories of men struggling to pay child support. In VA they can take 50% of your pay. It is reversible, so for a little pain, you have a lot to gain. That is the choice of when to have a child and how many and with whom, choices many women no longer have.
I totally applaud you for this. Thank you
I think we all should give the SCOTUS some credit: they are the first (!) to make time travel a reality! Within one week they have set back the clock by about 100 years. And give them a little more time, and they will bring the country back into the 17th century.
Sadly this is the case. The SCOTUS is so backwards thinking, it is disgraceful.
It all feels so hopeless.
@@kingayy9267 Don’t, that is not going to change anything! Get organized, mobilize people, and vote the republican morons out of office!
Fun fact: it wasn't until the 1860's, around the same time that slavery ended, that abortion started to be illegalized in the USA. Before then, it was practiced widely. During slavery, a slave getting an abortion was destroying a white man's property. It was never about "saving babies". It's forever been a backlash against women, especially black women, gaining rights, and a means of continuing to exert economic and social pressure against them.
@@Amorcea I know, so what does that tell you? And not a fun fact is that it is also particularly low-income black women that are going to be hit the worst from this ruling…
At least I'm not the only one who thinks SCOTUS has lost their minds.
The scary part is that they haven't lost their minds. These are the things that the majority of conservatives want, and it's disgusting. This has all been decades in the making and has a whole movement behind it.
@@JohnsonPadder ,
It is curious that there are political groups most people in America don't know about, because we always focus on the Legislative branch. We seem to forget there are political groups for the other two branches as well, the judicial and executive branches, and seem to assume they are immune from politics! Curiously, likely due to the fact these branches don't have to go through the usual election process but are filled with appointed positions, there are a lot more political groups then the two we see in the Legislative.
I know of at least four different political ideals when it comes to handling the 9th Amendment.
Only one of those four actually think it does something worth while, the rest wave it off in different ways.
In the 1960's that one group secured the majority control of the Supreme Court and used it to give us the rulings granting all those privacy rights. This angered one of the other groups so hard that they spent decades working with the Legislative branch to try and stack the courts, all to undo the actions taken by that original 1960's group. What we are seeing today is the cumulation of that alliance, with McConnell ensuring the court would be stacked and that political group giving McConnell the rulings he desires.
As long as they get to teach the next generation of judges that the only interpretation of the Constitution is the one which empowers the government over the people....
that is funny do you think your education and intellect is on par with them, lol
Most people with common sense know they have.
@@JohnsonPadder Christian Evangelists, not conservatives. 'Conservative' is not a uniform bloc, just like Liberals aren't a uniform bloc. Let's call them out with as much precision as we can so that they can't hide behind the umbrella of 'conservative'.
The team of writers was on fire today! Thanks for the laughs despite all the horrible topics!
Right?! Jokes were great
I watched Supreme Court Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson get sworn in. I noticed how the first person was reading from the paper in his hands and said many words before stopping for Supreme Court Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson had a chance to repeat it, making her more vulnerable to mess up. And the second person, also reading from paper in his hands, stop after a few words, being considerate of the fact that it is a lot of words to repeat. I could tell that the first white man really wanted her to mess up because of his disdain for what was happening. I could tell that the second white man did his job with dignity.
Its the little things that you feel the racism from. Like how you know when a loved one is sick, in trouble or mad at you. It's the micro racism, like the wind. You can't see it, but if you're in the right position, you damn sure can feel it.
Thank you for pointing this out. I noticed the difference in the people reading the oaths; it just didn't occur to me "why" that was the case.
☝️ correct. Subtle racism
To be fair Steve..there's only 3 female justices and one stepford wife
No, four. You forgot Brett. Didn’t you see her crying and carrying on during her confirmation hearing?
@@evac3928 🤣🤣
😆😆😆
As a man having undergone the snip, when you have no more childwish it's a much better alternative than having your partner on hormones for another few decades
i have no childwish, hence i've had no partners in twenty years. but i hear your pain. or lack, thereof. 'the pill'
Proud of you guys for taking the route you did.
Thank you.
Funniest part: guy who came out before me was walking like a cowboy with a face of agony.
So my wife was ready with her camera to record me.
I came out without issue, smiling and saying "let's go"
She was disappointed
Thanks to the enlightened men who are prepared to undergo the procedure for the health and sake of their partners. Many forms of female birth control can cause a lot of other underlying issues that seriously affect the lives of the women that use them. It’s not just a matter of convenience, it’s a matter of having to worry about side effects like elevated blood pressure, blood clots, weight gain, stroke, and on and on. You are all to be commended.
I may never recover from the thatched roof to haystack line. I'm weak....
I was most definitely not expecting that.
Boris probably uses a leaver ringer mop pail to peroxide his Margaret thatch hair...
Bit of a stinky wicket...
... It would probably be fatal attraction for an eagle if he went naked. They are looking for nesting materials this time of year.
come to think of it...
he probably shouldn't go outside at all.
Stephen makes the news of the day digestible in a quality dad joke kinda way. Gotta love that
You like swallowing communist propaganda I guess.
SC(R)OTUS is exactly what I'd expect when 3 justices were appointed by a criminal TV reality star and fascist wannabe.
The a trumpification of the Supreme Court
So how come that doesn't mean that there appointments are invalid?!
@@marvinmartion1178 First you have to totally destroy this fascist movement by cutting off it's head, literally, then you destroy all it's works.l like the addition of 4 more justices to match the 13 circuit courts it has weight since it also predates women's rights where they seem to like looking for their legal guidance
Their
@@marvinmartion1178 because Trump needs to be convicted first in a court of law unfortunately. And even then, it might not be rolled back because it isn't a ground for removal of a SC judge.
Dear Steven: it doesn’t matter how shitty my day was, you always make me smile and forget I had a bad day, at least for a few minutes. And it’s worth it.
You Sir, are a National Treasure.
Thank you.
Oh, I get it. Until it takes off its glasses.
You have low expectations.
*Stephen
International treasure!
We're all having shitty days since Biden got 81 m votes...somehow
Do you think it costs more to buy a justice or a senator. That's a question I'd like to have answered.
I'd assume senator, because if they get caught they might get voted out. But SCOTUS is a lifetime gig. There is a process for getting rid of a rogue justice but it's never been used, so they'd have to, like, start stabbing hobos in their chambers to even run a risk of losing their job.
Blackmail costs nothing...
@@danielgehring7437 it has been used, but like any impeachment, he was not found guilty. (Samuel Chase)
@@lenawagenfuehr53 Ah, thank you for informing me. I was entirely unaware of that case.
NOW I get why that bill barring protest at SCOTUS members' home was passed with such alacrity.
The entire "under the belt" ending jokes were HILARIOUS!!!!
Comedy gold
My stomach literally hurts from laughing!
he couldn’t remember the words 🤣
Vasectomy King and Sack Donald's made me laugh loud enough to wake the neighbors
And dog shit science.
So not one of the Secret Service officers or Republicans that are calling Cassidy a liar is prepared to appear before the Committee and refute her claims under oath. Hmm 🤔
Pretty sure congress made the choice to give the epa the power it has…?
Yes exactly! AOC spoke to this as “judicial overreach “ there are three Equal branches and the court just shot down Congress. it is for the other two of the equal branches, Congress and Presidential, to respond. Wishing they would but not holding my breath… or does it matter with foul air and water?
They did, and broadly defined it on purpose, but scotus is using that intention to misrepresent why, and basically claiming too vague..
So scotus has basically become a cheesy micromanager🙄😄
But it was a different age. Now their donors think another $ is worth more than their grandchildren breathing. Self absorbed asses.
The "whistling scotom" joke was the best one i've heard all year.
Stephen & late show writers, all the jokes tonight were great and twice as funny as usual. Y'all brought your A-game tonight keep it up
"A" game, now that was funnier then this hack.
"Super Gonorrhea" ha ha ha
Trudeau is NOT a Premier but the Prime Minister of Canada. No fact checkers at CBS? Is this Fox News?
@@shwngbr agreed. Bring back Gutfeld’s hilarious show
@@ericpark8784 Gutfeld is just another mean spirited Fox Maga-ite.
Man this monologue was on fire - almost non-stop hits on the jokes
Hmmm is he supposed to funny?
@@shwngbr why are you even here? Just to troll?
@@shwngbr FBI looking for you because you hit a cop with your Trump flag on Jan. 6, 2021, Trumpanzee?
@@mikestaff3042 If you don't think these jokes are funny, that's on you, being a humorless Trumpturd! Do you only laugh when Trump does his Hitler routine at a MAGA rally?
2 days ago was much better.
Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson, Supreme Court Justice. May your judgeship be for the American people. And long and well lived. Your very presence changes the ratio of male to female justices in the highest court in the land. The USA has a new dynamic: And so does the rest of the world.
High hopes. "All men are created Equal" was written by christain $lave Owner$.
Punch dolphins in the taint. Hilarious 😂. However "we're all going to die" is depressingly accurate.
That vasectomy joke was top notch, i tried to get one wheni was 19 they told me i wasn't old enough, got it 2 years ago, the moment i turned 21. It was a week in bed with an icepack before i was back to work & a month of ibuprofen but its worth it to have no worries for the rest of my life.
You have to get it checked every year! It might heal by itself and start putting sperm back into the semen. It’s unlikely, but it still happens. Other than that, I commend your sense of responsibility! Especially at such a young age. I wish every man would be that responsible and compassionate in order to shoulder the burden from us women.
STDs exist
@@PraiseTheFSMonster the vasectomy at least takes care of accidental pregnancies! That’s extremely important.
@@winxclubstellamusa
According to Jesus, there are no accidental pregnancies.
@@Kaymen1980 which is as important as a speech by Harry Potter
It's not roller coaster, it's all downhill.
I was visualizing💩the swirling.
around the toilet 🚽 bowl…
It's the Tower or Terror; a sheer drop, but in this case we have no idea if and where it will stop...
Ever since Biden was selected.
Awe it’s our troll 🧌 little k b….
We were discussing the fake lying judges on the Supreme Court…
Keep to the subject matter… ok?
@@KB-ke3fi Better than the previous resident of the White House.
Thanks to Colbert, at least ill be laughing sometimes and crying the rest of the times all the way to the dystopian hell America is heading towards
Yeah😢
A middle finger to women last Friday. A middle finger to the whole planet today. From Justice Kagan's dissent:
"Over time, the administrative delegations Congress has made have helped to build a modern Nation. Congress wanted fewer workers killed in industrial accidents. It wanted to prevent plane crashes, and reduce the deadliness of car wrecks. It wanted to ensure that consumer products didn’t catch fire. It wanted to stop the routine adulteration of food and improve the safety and efficacy of medications. And it wanted cleaner air and water. If an American could go back in time, she might be astonished by how much progress has occurred in all those areas. It didn’t happen through legislation alone. It happened because Congress gave broad-ranging powers to administrative agencies, and those agencies then filled in-rule by rule by rule-Congress’s policy outlines."
Now is the time to either expand the court or impose term limits.
Or kick off justices who lied during hearings and showed personal preferential treatment for cases involving their wife.
@@cherylalt101 Why not both?
This was so good I had to watch it over again and save it for my friends to watch! Thank you!
Steve, you fucking kill me. That's why I like you is because you're a smart comic as well as everything else."The graphic took me a little by surprise"😂That was fucking golden man
In defense of Biden, I make that mistake all the time. I know which is which, but my brain always makes me say/hear the other one first.
I know, right? I called it a "Swedish Army Knife" up until I was about 11 and nobody told me because they all thought it was hilarious.
At least he didn't spend the rest of the day pretending he didn't make a mistake.
I appreciate Biden's ability to accept his mistake and make a joke out of it instead of doubling down and trying to convince you the mistake was actually correct because of some special smart-boy reason that you wouldn't know because you're not as smart as him.
@@couragekarnga8735 or saying he had “a good… a brain!”
That could be some expression of dyslexia. If you do that with other things too then you should get tested.
Love ya Stephen!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️You’re always spot on! Thank you for helping us all stay sane during this tumultuous time.
Watching this in Tel Aviv, I feel Colbert is doing an amazing service to the US of A. love the show. Thank you so much.
This was a killer monologue- lots of good hits in there. The scrotum story made me cringe, but I lost it at the whistle.
Too bad it's Stephen who is killing dolphins and whales with the global warming scam and sonic surveying for bird and bat killing wind turbines. I guess you all hate animals.
I kind of had a premonition about the super gonorrhea song, but said to myself not enough syllables. You made it work, though. Awesome job.
Super maga fragile dipstick...
X pee in the ally dose shush
super duper super gonorrhea
Really is atrocious.
Premature premonitions can be cured. You should see a doctor.
I want to know what this guy was doing that he had collapsed lungs and a hole in his scrotum, but it was the whistling that was the real concern.
TAINT!
😂🤣
Yes, it was very non consensual for that dolphin!
The only good news in Stephen's monologue was that Finland and Sweden are joining the NATO alliance. Both countries have held joint military exercises for years, but the general public of both countries was not behind membership as they were afraid of getting embroiled in a conflict, not of their choosing. I have always respected that and the fact that both countries have ensured their freedom by supporting very capable militaries with a mixture of home-developed and western weaponry. The Swedes and the Finns have always been very practical people and recognize when the situation around them changes they need to take steps to adjust to those changes and meet the challenges they present.
..and Switzerland 😆
Everything Stephen says, the opposite is usually true.
My wife passed today at 1pm mountain time. She loved your show. Thank you for all you do.
I’m so sorry. I just watched this episode and read the comments tonight. My sincerely condolences on your loss.
Frickin. Imagine your lungs collapsing and finding out because it makes your privates hiss. Like a leaky spacesuit except it's your skin. Yikes.
I just want you to think about the mechanics of that. lungs as in plural, just one collapsed is painful enough, BUT 2?
Didn't he notice it was hard to breathe?
Air takes a path of least resistance, up is it's normal path, in this case it separated tissues and created its own path of escape to apparently a rotting flesh hole in his nut sack, either forced down if he ever stands or at least horizontal if he's bed ridden.
So many questions so few answers 🤔
That was nightmare fuel!
@@patriciatoomingtheplantpar2558 Yeah it was just going through my head repeatedly as the jokes flew by, that "how do you not NOTICE your lungs collapsing!?"
I hope people start to realize how complicated healthcare is and how many millions of ways things in your body can how wrong, so that they understand that healthcare decisions have to be left to the individual patient and their doctor.
@@Cathowl
🤔 ummm 🤔 ummm
I don't know, but I have a friend who's body absorbed his after a freak accident with a harpoon to the chest.
To be honest he knew he had breathing issues, so you got me on that one.
Makes me rethink "how sensitive is the scrotum?"
I can definitely tell you if I had a hole in my labia I WOULD KNOW!
This man must have multiple health issues, I tried to find the reference and came up empty.
In reference to the jokes flying by and your thought processes, I paused the video.
I must have had a deranged look about me, cause my husband said "You ok? What's wrong?" Nothing, just working something out in my head. He said, must be a stumper?
Then I showed him the clip and the blood drained from his face, he said how the F'c?
Yeah, that's what I was working on, I just got big 👀 eyes
He said what do you fix first...ok dummy the lungs, yes, the lungs!
Blood work, tests, loads of tests!
Bathing lots of soap, he ain't washed anything in a long time🤮
A monologue where the jokes just write themselves. Spot on
That vasectomy joke 🤣
Gotta love how they swore in Judge Jackson just in time to see the supreme court lose all credibility
Sucks, Man. Esp with her being so excited.
Right.
Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer will officially step down from his post on Thursday, ending a nearly three-decade tenure on the nation’s highest court, according to a letter from the White House.
The retirement paves the way for Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson, confirmed in April to fill Breyer’s forthcoming vacancy.
Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer will officially step down from his post on Thursday, ending a nearly three-decade tenure on the nation’s highest court, according to a letter from the White House.
The retirement paves the way for Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson, confirmed in April to fill Breyer’s forthcoming vacancy.
slightly ironic that she is the most qualified nominee , moreso than anyone on the bench, currently, and add on top of that that she is both black, and a woman. But we know: Trumpism murdered irony. Life is a simulation, and we're in the wrong timeline. I try HUGE doses of LSD to fix the timeline, but i've only shifted through subdomains of this corrupted timeline...I took four hits in January , last year, and something 'broke' at my work, something really weird and esoteric, like our credit processing system, it was weird enough for my coworkers to notice and give the phenomenon a nickname, in my honor., 'jimmy's ghost'. it was odd enough that the bank changed their policy towards my store... i think i left the timeline where trump succeeded with his coup...i feel for those still stuck in that timeline and similar other timelines. this one still sucks, though
Damn, some of these jokes were lethal. Weapons of Mass Hysteria.
Colbert is King of Late Night wang joke obsession…. LOL
Wang jokes never get old, unless you are DT and you are a mushroom headed joke.
He's definitely getting another Emmy!
@@TheDarkness1 TINY mushroom. don't forget that part. i love huge mushroom heads...
Wang Chung, everybody have fun tonight...
At least Biden corrected himself. Most Americans don't know that Sweden and Switzerland are two different countries.
Really? I know they have problems differentiating some of our smaller, east/south east countries, but I thought that two white, rich countries are easily remembered.
@@marial870
Really. I am originally from Switzerland. I tell them, but 2 minutes into the conversation some Americans arrive at Sweden or Swaziland. Or they even ask "Did you come here by bus?" I am not kidding.
"Some Americans" = the Trump family?
Term limits for SCOTUS justices.
Stephen’s impression of President Biden is just so correct. 🤣
IKR?! It's on point! 💯 😎I hope President Biden has seen it! I'm sure he'd love it!
C'mon!
@@bettyveronica9880 If Joe doesn't like Cobert's impression, I'd say that was some serious malarkey!
@@jimmythebold589 I think he finds him kind of funny actually. lol That's an assumption, but Biden isn't Trump. He's not going to start screaming like a toddler everytime someone pokes fun. lol
especially so when he adds those sunglasses to his look!
I guess time travel is real, we are heading straight back to the middle ages!
Dark Ages
As hard as some of the news is, Stephen made me laugh at three different genital jokes. The whistle joke in particular had me snorting with laughter.
My son walked into the room just as Stephen said "whistling scrotum," and then he walked right back out, with a long "ewwwww" in his wake.
I was literally banging on the table laughing at that one
After hearing how you can get a "whistling" scrotum I immediately knew he wouldn't have a very long showbizz career with that act. I did pay attention in biology class and am wondering in what state that man overall was. To bleed air out of your lungs with the lower half of your body, you really must have done some damage here and there......
The Harry Truman joke! I love that shit
Every joke tonight killed! So impressed
As a Brit, I appreciate the dig at Boris for continually trying to start parties
this whole episode was on fire! FANTASTIC!
Stephen blowing a kiss to camera at 5:09 🥰 I automatically went out to catch it aswell, I love this man so much ❤️😩
Congress has the power to grant powers to agencies of it's creation. It's how police get their power after all. A SCOTUS justice should know that. Congress gave that power to the EPA. It can take it away whenever it wants. Congress does not need SCOTUS to do that.
But apparently Gorsuch needed his mommy to tell him the EPA sucks...
What's odd is any man responsible enough to get a vasectomy, would probably be a good responsible father.
Some are already fathers, like my brother who has two kids and two stepkids, and he doesn't want his wife to be burdened with this stress about maybe a later-life pregnancy anymore. (They're in Texas, so it's been pretty bad for a while, and he got this done BEFORE the SCOTUS decision since it was just easier all around.)
That’s quite a leap lol. Many men get vasectomy’s for many reasons
@@syednaqvi2740 And many of those reasons are very selfish!
It's almost as if...they don't want to do that. Hmmm.
I had a vasectomy many years ago because I detest children, all of them. I would have been a terrible and irresponsible father...
Thank u LSSC!!!!!I needed those laughs!!
It’s ok, Joe, the real embarrassment is that most Americans think Switzerland & Sweden are the same country anyway.
...yeah, that urop country, right🤔
And Colbert showed he doesn't know anything either by calling Finlamd a Scandinavian country instead of a Nordic country.
FYI, only Sweden, Norway and Denmark are Scandinavian countries.
Nordic countries - Scandinavia + Finland, Iceland and the autinomous regions of Greenland, Faroe Islands, Åland
🤣😂🤣 I m sure most of us do...
Also Drumpf would have insisted that he was somehow correct, rather than spotting the error on the spot, making a joke about himself, and correcting it!
Atleast biden corrected himself. Trump woulve kept going with it and said he never said it.
That whistling joke was quality 👌 👏 🤣
Stephen Colbert, your talent never ceases to amaze me!
The ruling against the EPA is way broader than that. It's against the idea that it independent agency is independent. It affects all the other agencies too.
As much as I am extremely happy about the appointment of Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, it's pretty disgusting that in 2022, there are *still* things that are "the first (insert accolade here) for a black female" in America.
She wouldn't have been if Joe Biden didn't lead the charge to sink Janice Rodgers Brown. Yes, this is your hero.
Try Africa?
One female judge Vs the other republicon ones will not have much affect to the outcomes
Great show 😂😂 after a Hell of a week the laughter is appreciated 😎
June 22, Supreme Court got their super upgraded security. In the next week, SC went rogue.
"No, you can't just use the fire extinguisher to deal with the fire. You have to apply first for a permit, ask the mayor for permission and the pope has to high five you"
That's my thoughts on the EPA decision
The pope? That sounds like a violation of the separation of church and state.
@@engelostermann7203 Exactly
Great to end the day with laughter. Good work.
On my wish list now, a court expanded enough to include the other amazing black women who were considered finalists for this most recent appointment. A court heavily weighted with the wisdom of well-educated black women would be a fair match for any more of this neo-nazi mess. A lot of nonsense would NO longer be tolerated. 🐅
We need four of them. That ought to do it.
That’s the fear!
Yeeeeow Colbert was on one tonight. He came correct with them jokes
Notice Thomas didn't invoke Loving vs. Virginia (1967) which allows mixed race marriages.
I really really laughed 😅 🤣 😂
Love Stephen!
8:54 deserves an Emmy
I dunno. I think 9:35 was pretty great.
Great monologue, as usual. But considering the number of Canadians who enjoy your show, please have your writers do one quick Google search to ensure they provide you with the proper title of our country’s leader.
I don't think we Americans know all the different titles for Heads of State, or the forms of government they represent.
Well, except for "Ayatollah," perhaps.
Asked Google to help with spelling of "Ayatollah." Google interprets the sound of "Ayatollah" as "Are ya taller?" but in a thick East Coast accent.
The differences in pronunciation between the two are almost imperceptible.
😂
Hi there
Global warming propaganda.
I like that in these hard times we at least have a president who gets made fun of for talking kind of funny and being old instead of trying to turn the united states into a monarchy
and is willing to make a joke and correct himself when he makes a mistake
Exactly. Grandpa Joe 😎😂 he's kinda hilarious. He's not the best we could've hoped for but he ain't bad
@Ethan Kaphammer He is bad, he's just better than the alternative.
Biden or Trump was like chosing between being punched and being set on fire.
One's bad, the other is indescribly worse.
But then, America doesn't have a liberal party, like I would vote for. It has a right wing, and a centrist party.
The right wing Tory government in the UK has passed more liberal laws and policies than the 'socialist commie democrats' who are apparantly in charge of America currently.
@@ethor7676 😂🤣 So true!!!
@@ethor7676 Try telling that to the millions of citizens that are now suffering through the worst Biden
and the liberal democrat destroyed economy in 40 years !!!!!
There were too many good jokes in this segment, has to be one of the best ever
That Boris skit was Hilarious!!🤣
Too bad the first male black supreme court justice was wasted on a traitor.
I think it needs to be known that he’s had a grudge against Liberals because they soured his confirmation due to his own behavior no less and now he taking his revenge.
Are you talking about the justly revered Thurgood Marshall? Or have you forgotten Justice Marshall altogether? Mr. Justice Marshall was a brilliant light on the Supreme Court, and one sorely missed.
Every day I read another briefing on another case and groan.
Then I learned they want to review the power State Constitutions have over Legislators during Elections... they want none!
This is likely the most critical of issues, for if your Legislators desire to ignore the vote and the State's court can't stop them....
Hahaha, your writers really killed it tonight! 😂
With all the puns, the opportunity was missed to use "the whistling dixie..." 😂😂😂
9:27 Meanwhile: I just learned something new. A whistling butt. I should be scared and impressed by it
Colbert's monologues are usually pretty funny, but this monologue was funnier than he's been in a long time. Awesome!