Sexual EXPECTATIONS before marriage!!!
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 21 ต.ค. 2024
- Hey guys!
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Had that convo with my husband. His drive was 5 times a week. I'm more 1-2 times a week. We settled for 3-4. And as I'm doing it more often, I'm liking it more. The thing is, I got married a virgin, and sex took time to grow on me. After the first time, I asked my husband: why would women do this? 😂😂😂Thank God for patient and communicative husbands.
Well that's good yall came to an understanding. Good for waiting til marriage
It married or a virgin but I remember my first time. When it was over I wanted to say “that’s it??” So bad 😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂 I'm so happy you both came to agreement
Aww this warmed my heart because I am striving to stay a virgin until marriage.
We still have to remember that sex drive change, my younger self is not the same n even now with contraceptive its worst, sex has become almost a duty to some woman because of hormones
Before I got married I could stay a virgin with the idea that I can have enough sex when am married. But, that was a false thought. She didn't like sex as much I thought I did. I wanted to have it at least 3 times a week but she s OK with 1 in each month. She thought sex was stressful even without kids in the marriage.
Long story short, we came to a common grounds after 10 years of marriage and only because she realized my inability of not getting enough sex was getting a bad tone on me.
Ling&Lamb, it took PRAYER and patience to conquer this barrier without cheating.
It's worth giving sex a discussion before saying Yes to your would-be spouse.
Wow! What an encouraging story. I know it’s your real life and real struggles but just know I’m encouraged that the marriage was still protected and kept through the struggle. More love to you and your wife. Pray that you’re blessed with many happy years together
Sounds like there my be some trauma there that may be helped with counseling. Sex and intimacy though different are very important in a relationship
Yes marriage is about give and take and comprise and meet in themiddle
@Edwin Adu-Ansere Amen 🙏🏾 ! Well I’m glad God answered your prayers and you both are doing better. May God continue to move on both of you as a couple and may you guys grow closer together and win with God in the center and his guidance!
Sex was stressful? Sounds like it’s painful and maybe she feels disconnected from the actual experience? It’s important to explore what’s her love language. What turns her on. Has she experienced any pleasure from it like an orgasm. Many women avoid sex when they feel as if they are only involved in the equation for the mans pleasure. And when it’s painful due to the lack of four play.
I typically do not voice any comments or opinions on social platforms. Yet, I absolutely adore you, Ling and Lamb. Although we are only watching from the outside in, I pray that God blesses me with a beautiful, loving, understanding, open, secure, joyous and sensible partner, as I sense you both have found in each other. May the Lord continue to have favor upon your union, as well as each of you individually.
Yassssss I agree with you totally
Sure GOD will always meet you at the point of ur needs just be cool. GUESS YOUR DAY WAS FINE
I am SOOOOO with you on that... I ABSOLUTELY LOVE watching them!
Beautiful comment 🥰
This was absolutely beautiful! 🙌🏾🙏🏾
Very VERY good advice guys!! What you said is soooo true! My husband and I didn't even kiss each other until we where 3 months into our relaytionship. The reason why is because both of us where so very hurt in previous relaytionships. We spent those months being honest about our expections of each other. After 3 months, we found we both agreed on most everything. So after 6 months into our relationship, he asked me to marry him. By the end of our 6th month, we where married. 27 years later, we're still going strong 😁 Great vid guys!
My husband and I sat down and had real life conversations like this. What is it you expect from me as your husband/wife? How many times you want sex in a week? How are we going to handle finances? Who’s going to be responsible for paying the bills? Do we want children and if so how many? Keep outsiders out of our marriage!
Wow, that’s a recipe for a successful and loving marriage
Well said. My husband and I also had those conversations too before we got married. I'm glad we did.
Unfortunately many go into marriage/relationships with the mind of changing the other partner or lie about what they want in marriage.
@@crisliv528 that's true, it's quite unfortunate really.
@@crisliv528 Even lying about themselves.
I absolutely LOVE how Lamb always includes God. He speaks to and about God as if He was not only a benevolent Father but also a best friend, which He is. Thank you for not hiding your faith, especially on social media!!! 💗
For me; sex is an exchange of powerful energy between two people. Be careful who you share your sexual energy/ intimacy with
Yes yes YES!!!👍🏻
Same here. I don't take it lightly 😂😂😂😂😂
Lamb is giving such a valuable advice "look for people who match your energy , don't dump all the pressure on one innocent partner" Wow!
How realistic is that advice? Men do have more drive than women in most cases. This is why Islamic religion encourages polygamy for men who can afford it.
Lamb is 💯 right! Sex is a MAJOR factor in EVERY relationship. And it’s not just sex, but other behaviors as well. Are you vegan and your partner isn’t? Do you drink alcohol and your partner doesn’t? Do you exercise and your partner doesn’t like exercise? Like Lamb said, don’t hide your identity or behavioral tendencies. BE YOURSELF from the start and be true to yourself because you have to keep the expectations real. It’s so important to have these kinds of conversations with your partner early on to be on the same page 🎯 💯 Edit: and keep having those conversations because people change and grow
Just to add they will continue to expect wherever you started in the relationship so if you falter they will feel like something is wrong or lacking. You are setting a standard for your relationship with what you are doing.
Ding Ding Ding! Very true. Do not pretend until you get the ring. Be yourself so you are both aware of what you are committing into the relationship.
@@jackiebrainy2274 Don't pretend even after the ring. Be yourself all throughout
@@rosemary7346 I know. I meant people tend to pretend until they get married then they finally show themselves, which is why people's relationships/ marriages ends
Very well said! 💯💯💯💯💯
(@original comment)
As a young 25 year old Christian virigin woman I definitely agree that sexual expectations should be talked about before marriage. It's an important part of marriage.
It is literally apart of the reason we are waiting!! To be with only one man that God made for us ❤. It's such a great feeling to know that our husband is our first. Sex is important but it's not as important as our relationship with God. God will grant us the desires of our heart we just have to trust him and follow his will. We will be ok!!
@@kianamorris9507 ♥️
@@m77ast same here. There’s so many born again “virgins” out here lol
AMEN OOOOO, oya oooo all of us virgins gather here oOoOO
I'm not doubting you, but Why do we meet virgins in comments section like this, but never in real life😂
100% ... but this convo needs to be had after significant life changes as well, such as after children, health issues or tragedies; because people can change. Do not just have it once. Being able to have to have these talks and communicate is so important. If you can talk about his you should be able to talk about anything. Can't wait for part 2 !!!
Agreed. Some women have 1 kid and her libido decreases to zero and like you said she and her partner need to sit down and talk about it. If she is okay with him getting it somewhere else or if they both decide that the frequency of intercourse is going to reduce and he should adjust. It’s all about communication and understanding.
This is a word in this comment! Everyone is different!
💯💯💯🎯🎯🎯
@@gabyzico669 I had only one kid and my sex drive is the same or better! 🤣 my husband is the one that slowed down. Which is boring. I’ve adjusted to it over the 26 yrs of marriage.
I agree with you. Both partners can change.Men can develop high blood pressure ,diabetes, stress, etc that can cause erectile dysfunction. Also, for women so many things. My experience was severe PMS with severe cramps that happened every 18-21 days.( hormonal imbalance). My husband pretended to be very understanding, but wasn't being honest. He confessed to cheating on me after having our only child. The pain is still present 20+ years later, despite me moving on.Even in marriage you must have self-control when it comes to intimacy. If you have a baby, you can't have sex for 6 weeks( if everything goes right). So a man needs to have self- control & understanding doing this time. If you can't control yourself, you should never marry, stay single.🙅🏽♀️
As a Christian woman, my dedication to Christ is very important to me, and very difficult for men that I've dated, in terms of my scriptural belief regarding intimacy before marriage. Therefore, I've remained celibate for nearly 15 years. I've dated one gentleman, off and on, for nearly 12 years, who refuses to give up, and hopefully, he'll come to the conclusion that after 12 years, I'm not the one that's going to change. He's handsome, and successful, but if he doesn't respect my views, and values before marriage, he won't respect and value them after marriage. While I wait, I'm going to keep trusting God, and His plan, which is always unfailing.
Great video you guys.
Amen if he doesnt respect your views before, he won't after.
My sister keep waiting, as if God is your brother or sister to go market bring you a man, this dating thing has nothing to do with christ or God, this is trial and error, true marriage is a covenant between 2 people not a ring, get rid of these Hollywood fantasies, this thing of put a ring on it is just pathetic given the divorce stats, a man will give youca ring just to conquer your pants and then dump you, emancipate yourself from colonial fantasy, a ring means nothing, the heart and soul is key here
@@MManuhz My Brother, after waiting 15 years, a man is not going to put a ring on my finger, get what he wants and walk away. If I was that easy, that would have already happened. I've already proven to the Lord, that I will wait on Him. My trust is in Christ, not mankind. God bless you, and thanks for responding.
Proverbs 18:22 "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord."
If it's God's will, I will marry. If it isn't, I will remain as I am.
@@allinsoccer4542 Amen! 🙏🏽
@@jideabiaka4487 Amen, this is very true.
It’s Ling mimicking Lamb for me😍😍😍
Love is not only admiration for strength. It's tolerance for weakness. Everyone we love has deficiencies. The best way to spice up our relationships is to become good teachers..
Woooow kudos to your first two sentences
Beautifully said.
Well said
🥇
Thank you so much.
"Knack"😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣...Soon Ling is going to have a dictionary diary of Nigerian pigdin slangs
I Love how real 💯% Ling and Lamb are🥰... Learning alot from both of you.
Can't wait for Part 2🤗
😂😂😂😂I can't believe he said that. He is hilarious!
She had to define knack to us😁
🤣🤣🤣
After 40 years together married, fires are still burning. This was our marriage counseling: a marriage of 2 takers will eat each other up. A marriage of a giver and a taker will lead to frustration. A marriage of 2 givers is a beautiful thing! This had held true in every area and especially the bedroom! According to statistics, my husband and I should have been divorced. We chose to beat the statistics. We got books on marriage like His Needs Her Needs, read them together and followed the directions! Don't give up young people! Make your family last. Be real (no porn) laugh and have fun! Resolve your arguments and you will find that before long you'll be helping others! Marriage is not rocket science! It's loyalty! You can do it!
He said, “You big broccoli head” 🥦 😂 Love it Getting married August 7th, and everything you all are speaking on is sooo valid. Thank you 💯
Congratulations 🥂All the best to you and your partner
Congratulations! 😍😍
Congratulations, God bless your marriage
Congratulations!
Congratulations!!May'God lead'your marriage.Cherish every second of the event and take lots of pictures and videos.I lost All my chances.I want the BESTfor you.👍🏽🙏❤💙❤💙❤⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘⚘
The joy these two have is so contagious 🤣🤣
She is so in love she can’t keep her hand off him. Their chemistry is insanely good!
This is a very good conversation. Something I realized too late to save my own marriage: a woman is more inclined to meet her husband’s physical needs when her emotional needs are met. As God created us, men are visual and physical while women operate from an emotional aspect
Very true, most people expect women to be mechanical, and some women are, but others better satisfy their husbands physical needs when he meets their emotional needs.
❤ wise words ! I’m marries 37 years !
I think that is a valid point people need to understand people change....people are not the same person they were 25 years ago and as limber or excited lol ...but people change and you go with changes in each other....open communication is always needed! Sometimes people aren't on the same page ....but eventually they catch up to each other.... Good luck to the lady writing in. 💞
I agree 25 years ago I wasn't alive 😂 (17 year old)
Lamb you killing 😂 me ...if you play Local, International and World cup let the partner know... 😅😀 Funny but Powerful and it's a Fact...💗
@Abe M. ?
@@justinkizube1213 😁
Not as limber 😭😭
I'm definitely waiting for part 2...My current relationship, my mate (I call him Mate instead of baby & all that) 😅 is sooo honest, outspoken, pretty much like Lamb😂,so when he came up with this convo a little while ago, I was shook. I'm a typical African girl and I come from a home where even sex talk is reeeeally awkward, almost like forbidden lol. I had to read about periods & stuff from a book,(of course I learnt that in school as well), but none of my parents told me any of that stuff. Anyway, he taught me a lot of stuff, it was really weird for me at first but because he was so open, I opened up too. We definitely need to have that convo again. I watch TH-cam most of the time but people barely ever talk about this. Thank you Ling & Lamb❤️
I dont think the issue is the conversation, I believe most couples have it. However, the issue is that the sexual appetites and routine change. The honeymoon phase/excitement of something new brings out that passion and euphoria. However, once you settle into a maintenance of a home particular for the women, she is often fatigued and it plays on her libido. I am speaking from a medical point of view. I am a medical student. That is why women that are working and taking care of kids and a home will often state they are just too tired to then put in the work in the bedroom.
Edit; to add if the household responsibilities are shared INTIMACY IS GREAT AND SATISFYING FOR BOTH PARTNERS.
Which I can thumb this up multiple times.
👍x100. Nothing kills libido than male partner who doesn't contribute to household chores... Regardless of who is more financially stronger
Or doesn't know how to 'care' for their spouse
Very true!!
Pls sex is a very important. Libido reduces as you grow old yes but please sex is very important. Find yourself sbdy who matches your energy. You should talk to your husband if you doing all the chores at home decreases your libido. If not your marriage would crumble. Unless both you and your husband don’t like sex.
@@gabyzico669 easier said....
I also think it is good to talk about this is because either one of you could had a terrible trauma where you’ve been sexually abused and you have certain triggers. So it’s always important.
En pointe!
Very true
It true
If you can't out grow trigger . You stay single nobody is going to die for your trigger or don't punish another person because of your past.
Lamb: ‘Even God in heaven will clap for you.....”😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
I thank God for this power couple that is changing lives. this is really helping others
Finding someone with the same sexual taste and drive is almost like finding a unicorn. You just need to have an honest talk on each other's sexual expectations and come to an agreeable compromise that can be reevaluate should the need arise in the future. Age, health and financial status can change sexual drive and taste in the future.
This has worked for me.
So true!! In my experiences, all the best sexual partners I've had were always surrounded by toxicity. They usually were the type to be monogamous.
Love how attentive he is, when she's talking 💕. They seem so happy and that they respect one another; love to see it 👌🏽💛💛💛
Am a proud west African Liberian 🇱🇷🇳🇬🇭🇹🇯🇲. Here to support my African family. You guys are out of this world beautiful ❤️❤️❤️
I really like Lambs Honesty, playful But totally serious, no games excepted, additive approach to this conversation!!!!! it brings great energy to this conversation. His approach was like an icebreaker and his wife was the total serious no nonsense part of this equation. I think both were needed in order to discuss this topic. Great job guys and definitely a part two should happen
The thing that you didnt get to touch on yet is that sex drive for both men and women can change over time....we go through different seasons that influence libido. It can be common to go through times where spouses may not align. After 11 years of marriage, we've had a few seasons where our libidos didnt line up, and that's ok! Because marriage is an ever evolving relationship. We get through it with lots of communication and effort from both of us to make sure we are happy and getting what we need. We also try to be creative in providing intimacy in other ways than sex.
And keep we please acknowledge that sometimes its the wife with the higher libido 🙈 we're unicorns 🦄 but we do exist!
I love this comment. I wish it could be pinned…. Stress levels at different seasons of ones life can increase or decrease sex drive and that’s ok. As long as there is communication and compromise.
I notice that most men I've dated have NEVER sat me down for a conversation about sex, until I said something and they got ticked about the convo. And, don't ask them about stds etc, I've had experiences where it's like pulling teeth. Yes, I mean at the beginning of a relationship. (? I still ask)
Men love the fact I'm fun, but things change when I mention my beliefs in God and wanting to wait for sex.
At this point, sex no longer wnjoyable if casual. It would be frivolous to me and it is important to me to have it with the man I will spend the rest of my life with. I find some men are very uncomfortable with this convo.
I MUST JUST PRAY God places me in front of the man for me, at the right time. I love sex but no longer will be just all willy nilly sex sexxing people and nothing after that.
Amen for you. I pray I have someone like that too
Hello Jo Anne Hall
Lamb is just having me laughing, I see why Ling laugh all the time with her husband. Your conversations are so teachable and interesting. I think God is taking this channel in a new directions. People are learning and enjoying you'll conservation about relationship, finances, sex and marriage. I understand what he was saying about the levels.
I love the way you guys approach the issues about sex People shy away from the truth instead of facing it . You are not postponing your evil days . I love Lamb , the way he address this sex live based on their level . We are different that is why a meaningful conversation about sex is much needed before saying I DO . You will be so glad you did !!!!
100% correct
a moving combination of all those satisfactions
Well done guys! This is the reason why some relationships dissolve or remain stagnant. Some persons think there's a limit to what they can discuss as a couple. If they were to spend the time having open discussions - and not just about sex, but anything, it will eliminate some of the misunderstandings they face and mentally prepare them for what to or not to expect. Effective communication will always be a crucial element in any relationship.
Level 5 = We understand each other. Lamb was quick to rescue himself.😅😅😅.Nice topic guys
..."while others are on level 💯"😂😂😂
You both nailed it... Like Ling said, you need to figure out if y'all just keeping up with each other's sexual energy for the sake of the relationship only to change after marriage. Lamb also raised a very good point; I know there's a saying that 'opposites attract', but as a player who has gone through every variation of women or men, you might want something different even a direct opposite of yourself but despite the desire for good girl/boy, deep down you will still expect some level of freakiness from them and that is not fair to them.
When you put kids into the factor, health, healing, sometimes it is unrealistic to stay with the conversation you had before marriage. I feel that both people need to be realistic and compassionate. My husband through a fit after I had his kids. Mind you I was pregnant 3 yrs in a row. The 2nd one we lost a twin and I had to have an emergency csection. Therefore the 3rd was also a csection. I had to heal and juggle the babies him and the home. There was no we for yrs during that time. He resented the kids for taking all my time which was his issues he needed to deal with. It is difficult to foresee the future.
I love this conversation..."look for someone that matches your energy" great advice
The best thing for me about you guys beyond being a totally 'gelled' couple, is that you are changing perspectives about who can and what goes into having a great relationship! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
This is a REAL, ADULT and LOVING conversation that MUST be responsibly had. Approaching it from any other perspective may unearth negative issues you may not even know existed. Btw, you guys are awesome!
The way lamb sad "Ah" when ling read the topic killed me 😂😂😂😂
hahahahaha
I love Ling's laughter 🤣 😂 So much Joy 😂 It's lovely to see that Lamb causes 😊 your Joy to well up in your laughter.
How did these two meet. I love their differences and their combination. So sublime
There's a video of how they met in the US. Very interesting!
Absolutely guys it’s always very necessary to talk about everything before getting married
I find that the popular opinion is that the man is the one with the high sex drive. What of when the husband is the one with the low sex drive and he never disclosed it to the wife or claims he never knew? The woman had no knowledge of it because they did the whole "no sex before marriage thing" as Christians. A lot of men develop erectile dysfunction as well.
Valid observation... However, many factors affect people's sex lives and chief amongst them is porn which creates wild fantasies and desires.
If you keep yourselves as Christians , truth is , many of these fears won't crop up.
The greatest tool in sex is the mind and imagination. Once the mind is warped, you'll be in great trouble.
This is one great reason, wise men +who have kept themselves) go for true virgins.
All that is stated above is with the understanding that you decided to choose by yourself.
@@Zanjero234 absolutely correct. Porn is the major issue most couples could Have. Your answer is so correct on so many levels I might even think I wrote it myself...
Nice one!
Very good point. Why are these things still taboo? Problems could be avoided if these things are not discussed openly!
Sorry I meant ... to say discussed openly!
I like how you said "no sex before marriage thing" as if you don't like the idea of it..sorry my sister I hope no one hurt you 😂😂
I would agree with you some men are on the wicked side and don't disclose them erectile dysfunction...sad
Yesssss! Good discussion. We need to be open and honest before marriage. This might even decide if you get married or not. Truthful communication beforehand is THE KEY.... Then stick to it. Marriage is a covenant that should be taken very seriously.
I’m engaged and yes we are talking about this very thing. It is very, very important to have these conversations. Great Topic!! Can’t wait for part 2.
This is really guys we need this ,thank you for this couple they teach us life
Part 2 Please🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 With my Experience and my BF, we are both Christian and saving ourselves and have been. It was refreshing to me from a reserved Polynesian cultural background to have someone-my man who is from Nigeria an Igbo man express himself and his sexual desires with me. We are planning to spend our lives together but COVID is still goin(he is working abroad so he is stuck there now) anyway we got on the subject and me not growing up in a environment that is freely open and/straightforward/transparent. I was shy but my man have expressed that what we talk about it safe and between just us to and that it’s important so he may know how to satisfy me when we get married and I know His sexual expectations. Oh! How I love Him! So, Lin and Lamb y’all ARE THE BEST! Because I absolutely agree with you and I know for a fact my man agrees. Aloha to you all amazing beautiful real as real favorite couple on here🤙🏽
As a single, young Christian female I must say I agree 100% with this. I've always talk that compatibility is a very important thing when seeking a life partner. How can we know? Through communication, and once that foundation is built that we become comfortable enough to have any form of conversation, one day it must lead "whack". A lot of persons don't want to have conversations like this but it is needed especially in this generation. In Jamaica there is a phrase we say "we na buy puss in a bag" (I'm not buying cat in bag) which most times refer to this topic(meaning I'm not marrying someone and not know enough about them), a person will he needs to do the do before they're married to someone. For me it's even deeper and ik this will stem to a different topic but while talking about expectations we also need to discuss the grey area surrounding this eg: blood type (whether you a carrier of sickle cells etc), medical health that align with the family bloodline, fertility etc etc. All this conversations needs to take place before marriage and of course be 100% honest.
Couldn't agree more,thats why i believe it shouldn't be rushed(stage of courtship),get to know what you NEED to know; physical expectations,sex and all about it,emotional expectations(like if I'm emotional i don't want you to leave me alone i want an embrace and attention,yea we guys too😅,or what works for you),spiritual expectations as well(some1 i can pray with and love God in everyway with) and lots more... even the tiniest detail shouldn't be too big to talk about and keep talking about,thats how the love stays fresh.
Also its "knack",nigerian pidgin English😅.
Cheers
@@omotosomayowa4947 I love your input especially the part where you said "all you NEED to know".
First, let me say, EVERY PROSTITUTE WAS ONCE A VIRGIN. So you may not really predict someone's sexlife.
I don't want to bring in the spiritual aspect of sex but suffice it to say various things can influence it.
But my issue is people feeling that just talk can reveal all you need to know BEFORE MARRIAGE. In marriage, it's a different ball game.
Our generation (especially Christians) seems to trivialize the place of knowing a person deeper than the superficial and what science can suggest. Many denominations the world over are falling for this. In spite of the so-called counseling, books on courtship, and marriage seminars , marriages are worse now than in the past.
It's okay for a person who isn't a Christian to depend on all those indices; after all that's how far they can see.
For a child of God to be dependent on those, suggests just one thing - he or she isn't different. There's nothing extra.
As a scientist, I know science isn't 100% accurate. Hence, the constant search and modifications.
What works or seems to work in some marriages won't work in others. You know why? The beliefs and understanding (and no two persons are exactly the same).
Finally, I know people seldom talk about sexual control because they don't know it's necessary.
We have seen prostitutes who have changed and we've been shocked by " innocent " girls who suddenly became wild.
Now,
What happens if suddenly your spouse falls sick and you can't have sex (for a period of time) as a Christian?
DIE? Or Call a Conference?
@@Zanjero234 this is very true...as much as you can find out for yourself some things you still can't find out everything,thats the place of the holyspirits leading and guiding....i mean many of us have experiences of things we were a 100% sure was wonderful for us that ended up being the opposite. Even getting into the institution of marriage is by faith(i mean for us Christians),we mustn't fail to see that, thats why pre marriage and everyday inside it you still have to be lead by his spirit(basically everyday of your life for everything and not just relationships alone). Some1 once told me the most important thing b4 a wedding which man dosent knows but God does is "what's gonna happen after today"... i love testimonies like that,those that show how fallible man is and that show that we really don't know anything😅.
Trust in the lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding!
All marriages are distinct because everyone is distinct in their own way. But all christian marriages no matter how distinct should still be centred on God,that doesn't mean challenging times won't come,more specifically challenging sexual times. They still will raise their heads
Youre very right o,sexual control is highly important
I love the last part,reminds me of something my parents used to say to me a lot when i wanted something so bad and i couldn't get it,they'd be like "would you die if you don't have it"😅
I have so many stories,true stories of things that happend to ones spouse right after they got married,something you never even wished on another and you're left to deal with that in your own life live and direct. Rough😅
I'm a scientist too so completely get what you mean.
Have a sweet day...looking forward to your reply
@@omotosomayowa4947 great piece...I picked some lessons from you too.
I just wish Christians will truly be Christians.
Seeing pastors undermining God's word and teaching human wisdom makes me wonder the need to be in church.
The Church should be the ground and pillar of Truth and believers, lights.
Imagine lights learning from darkness. I saw a memo of a prominent denomination demanding for "potency" test for men.
Kilode gan....
Listen to questions during "family weekends" and you'll think everything in marriage is sex.
Very little is preached about sexual purity and control. After indulging the young ones, they'd now be preaching "There's no perfect woman anywhere" and all sorts of human remedy that doesn't solve anything.
Does it mean that there can't be transformation in a prostitute who became converted? So if I was a womanizer before , na ordinary talk go change me? Make I laff sumall
Abi because she was a prostitute, a wa fi ti e koba brother?
Do people even understand what being saved means?
Our generation deny the power of godliness and all we talk about is our ideas.
It's laughable when people talk about reality when what they're talking about is their perception and perspective- how they feel and see things.
Reality for me is seeing all sides before judgement. Can any human see all sides? NEVER
That is why reality is God's perspective to any issue.
Remember, the story of the blind men asked to describe the elephant? That is how humans are.We'll always describe things from our standpoint.
Summary,
sex control is beyond some tête tête. It's more a spiritual ting than physical. The gentle man in city can fall for a village girl.
There's a level of seduction that if God doesn't help , you see how vulnerable humans are . E pass psychology o.
@@Zanjero234 correct. Human wisdom also dictates needing to test out the merchandise before buying. That's not biblical at all. We think we need to know the things that we don't, and that which we do need to know, we don't seek. Every day I'm begging observing my s/o for compatability and I get anxious but I'm learning to pray and ask God to tell him what a godly man does and to show me deal breakers. I don't want to be stuck in a bad unfulfilling marriage
3:53 “Sex is a major factor in every relationship!” 🙏 Lamb! 9:42 “Don’t Lie!” This was an awesome topic! Thank you both for bringing it up!
Lamb/Ling PhD, great advice for many going into a partnership, even for those that been married for awhile. There is people that do still love their partner but physically cannot/fall out of is tough. Even if it’s not fair for your loved one…I agree with Lamb, “Don’t Lie!” Because of this advice and same belief as Lamb, we decided to divorce last year…pls do pt 2 !! Mahalo, Yong
What we fail to understand is that men’s sex drives are highest when they are younger and women’s when we get older. All of this should be talked about amongst the couple and a counselor. Don’t hold back what your drive is because you are lying to yourself and your partner. Now if you’re both virgins you’re not going to know. However, explore as husband and wife. Get to know your spouse. ❤️💙 I just think you both are adorable 🥰
Yeah you're right jeana
You're from which country ?
Yea. I wish god would have made those peaks at the same time. Kind of cruel.
Very tough challenge for men who marry much younger women
@@user-rr3yw9dn1l there is great wisdom in why he made peaks different. Ideally for men since it is commanded for them to love their wives, as they age and the peaks go down, they will need the Grace of God to keep up with their wives thus getting their sexual appetite out of the way and focusing on loving their wives. 😍
I love how Nigerian Lamb is... it’s crazy real 😂😂😂 I feel like I’m talking to my guy and Ling OMG! You’re so cool 😎 the balance is mad beautiful 😍 y’all bursting my brain 🧠 Abeg!
He say knack and then Ling explained it... Divine 😇
I'm a stong believer of getting to understand as much as possible of your partner before marriage, it has saved many marriages
You guys hit the nail on the head. When you get married, all of you shows up. There is no time for hiding anymore.
Okay
Hello Gladys, happy new year to you and how are you doing?
This is so great approach,
Instead of making sex before marriage it's good to check if we match sex-wise by communicating our desires. This is great way to create healthy strong relations and remain friends with each other in case the expectations don't match
🇿🇦🇿🇦🇳🇬🇳🇬 LOVE FROM BOTH COUNTRIES
You guys are amazing. I am going to discuss this with my boyfriend. He had been asking that we should discuss it since but I was like we will when we are married.
I’ve been married for seven years now, and we talked about it just like any other major part of a relationship like religion, children,money, in-laws etc
what if your fiancé is avoiding the finances topic what should I do. it is tiring to keep asking to discuss finances but keeps avoiding it
When he said, "Some men, they will hang you-oh" I died😂😂😂😂😂
Same here.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😅
😂😂
😂😂😂😂😅
There is already an issue in that Marriage. It now require a lot of communication, If one can not meet the other sexual urges, this is where the marriage start to fall apart
The marriage is bound to fail unless the husband is ready to compromise but sadly sex is huge part of married life. It’s like 50% of it
@@gabyzico669 word
Unfortunately many women lose their sex drive as they get older due to hormone imbalance
@@FaithandNova it’s usually the other way round women libido grow with age, sometimes men can’t keep up. Even though we know that traditionally women were not speaking on these things . Menopausal women are sex crased.
I love your topics and thank you for being so real. I can only add, always be absolutely truthful and honest in your conversations before marriage. I was married once and my ex husband was not honest in the worst way after having conversations prior to marriage. I found out after we got married.
Love you both ❤❤🙏😊🌞
Lol I should have listened in your entirety before I left my comment. 🙃😊
Awww it’s the matching blazers for me!
You two are just amazing. Lamb, your awesome, African male common sense intelligence is so refreshing, and Ling with your own too-hard-to-find-today authentic femininity, beauty-from-the-inside, joy and et cetera, you both are blessed in and through each other...so beautiful to see...such a beautiful witness
You guys are legit my favorite couple on YT! Y'all are the best!!! Much love from Barbados
Lamb your the realest man. Preach brother preach.
Lamb be raising legit points
Voice of reason!
Home boy be dropping hits on hits
Since sex is openly spoken about in the Bible, it's nothing to be ashamed of. I think it's 1Corinthians 7 that explains how sex is supposed to work in a loving marriage. An engaged couple should most definitely spend some time studying the Bible together. There are many discussions about sex all throughout this Book. (Reading the Song of Solomon had me blushing!) The first time I learned about gang rape I was reading Judges (I was traumatized!) And listening to Job talk about how much respect he had for his marriage mate made me cry! My point being, you can wait until marriage to experience sex but you should definitely know it's okay to know about it before hand! (Especially if you're a Christian!)
As with anything it's about communication, love, and respect.
“Some of you, you play World Cup”🤣🤣
You guys look so real, my doubts about your authenticity can't seem to find a place for stay. I love love the way you accept each others difference and doing life in complement. You inspire me seriously! I can't even lie.
And everything you said, are true. Talk about everything worth talking about with a would-be spouse before marriage. It helps prepare one for what to expect.
Thanks for taking the time to share this guys. I've never really had this conversation with anybody yet believe it or not at age 29. Blessings to you
You guys are str8 up goals! If my partner doesn't love me like lamb loves ling I don't even want it!
Good topic. Lamb did you call Ling a big broccoli head? Lol
She calls'him fat ass and he calls her big brocolli head.I'hear'them all'the time🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
He did 🤣🤣😆
@@leonietaylor7054 exactly, that’s why we watch them.
1:21 YOUR WHAT, SIR???!!! Just kidding love the channel!!!
I always hoped you guys will go into relationships things. I am very glad it is happening, well done guys. Like I said before, this your relation is not made in America or Nigeria....it is made in Heaven! Transparency is the keeeeeey! I see that couples react first by getting upset before they even think of talking about it. Like Lamb said.....DON't LIE! Some of you have played the Olympics, won all the gold medals before getting married :). Abeg Sista Ling and Broda Lamb, do a part 2, 3, 4 and 5 sef.
Lamb/Ling have a very good point about this subject…talking about it beforehand breaks down barriers and walls. But one must have self respect FIRST and foremost.
Lamb has an old soul. He comes with it every time without fail. Many blessings coming your way!!! The good Rev. Dr. Lamb😁
Sometimes it doesn’t help to talk it out. Some people say one thing and do another once they are married. You did provide good advice to the woman who asked the question.
Just love you guys. Lamb is gradually becoming a counsellor 😀
Wow I love what he said about it not being fair to dump all that pressure on one innocent partner if you weren’t a good girl or guy in the past …..That is so true.
You an amazing couple, just saw your channel today and already saw 3 of your episodes.
Love is all over you guys. This topic is important, got married a virgin at 36 but you know the thoughts that you will do it everyday to cover for the years you didn’t do it makes me laugh out loud . True religion plays a part always listened to elders and preaching and then I developed myself to have self control and respect so that by the tym I get married I will have good characteristics and won’t compare my wife to past experiences, it really helped me and my wife was surprised how can a man stay that long without longing for sex little did she know that I was expecting it 365 days , but by discussing and understanding each other we came to an agreement on how many times and stuff .
When you truly love someone you always find ways to meet each other halfway.
Marriage is beautiful folks.
God bless this marriage and those anticipating to marry soon.
God is good all the time .
You're fun to watch. This is also educative. This is one area in relationship/courtship that people shy away from.
I smile every time I watch you two. I agree with everything you said...and I'm still amazed at the wisdom you both have at such a young age. Love you guys!
I'm praying to find someone that compliments me, loves me and respects me the way the two of you love one another. God bless you both
HI LING AND LAMB.....I AM NEW TO YOUR VIDEOS AND I LOVE WATCHING YOU! I LOVE BOTH OF YOUR LAUGHS AND IT MAKES ME LAUGH. GOD BLESS!!!
That's why I say, when you have a partner one should be able to talk about anything and everything.. no boundaries, no lines... everything, complete transparency not only about sex but overall.. learn your partner, what they like what you like, past experiences, kinks, idiosyncrasies, whatbaooeals to you, wat you wont mind trying..what turns you on or off... being transparent about everything and everything.. and it's good to be vulnerable with your partner, tell them everything. ..
I really admire this couple! They are so adorable! I love their energies and they give really great advice thank you and keep up the good work 💛
Hello Gold, happy new year to you and how are you doing?
You're meant for one another. Wonderful couple. Even when you turn 70, you'll still look 30. God bless your union. Your laughter is very very intoxicating. God bless big papa and mom too. The joy of the Lord will continue to be your strength. Hold on to Jesus. God bless.
Two best highlights of this video
When ling copied lamb's "kpa kpa kap"
And
When lamb said "some of you have played full championships, some of you have played World cup🤣🤣🤣🤣
Gbam!
Only soccer ⚽️ lovers can related to that. Good job Lamb😁😁
Your wife is damn good. Wooowww . Respecting each other’s views
Kudos guys! I was waiting to hear lamb on this topic. PS: I was not disappointed on his analysis. 👏 👏
I absolutely love the connection, transparency, and humor between you two. Lamb is giving me Myles Munroe vibes. The way that man used to speak of God, love and his wife within ministry was awe inspiring ❤️❤️❤️
My husband and I had the full out open abs honest conversation on our second date. I gasped a few times lol as did he regarding our drive and freak level; but it made for a great marriage.
You to are a blessing to relationships continue blessing us with your words.
AMEN🙏
Honestly, people that dislike your content i wonder what kind of life they live or who they are. Your content is soooooooo educational and funny at the same time. I come here to learn and have a good time. Long live @Land and Lamb
Ling and lamb you both are so transparent with your love for each other it’s amazing. On this subject I married both guys and each seemed to have the same sex drive as I But after marriage hmmmm that’s all I can say. Yes, as for me religion played a part in it. We was taught no sex until after we we’re married. I didn’t adhere to that and yes repented every time. I married both these guys. My first and the Father of my kids was having an affair for almost the whole marriage I suspect it but I’m a person that when I Love you I love you with everything in me. I love to make my man happy but it wasn’t that way for them to make me happy. My second husband yes it seem like we was on the same page after marriage it was good but then it came to the point he would be satisfied and let me hanging never allow me to reach. Then I’ve been getting sick not knowing what was wrong with me. My self esteem was to the bottom low because I felt something was wrong u only wanted it when you was ready, I was pleasing him even when I wasn’t physically able to. He would always say he’s thirsty even when I mentally didn’t want to I did. Trying to be that faithful Woman in the midst of what I was going through. Later to find out I was actually at death door. I had fibroid tumor and needed surgery before the surgery they call me and said that I needed to get to the hospital right away and don’t drive. They immediately took me in for a blood transfusion my blood count was a four the normal rate is 14/15. I said all of this because communication is the key. My first marriage there was no compromise I tried everything I could as a woman s wife a mother to keep my home,family and marriage together. To much to tell but when I had enough that was it. My second marriage I tried talk to him (this wasn’t the only problem). But I suggest counseling he said no, I tried to tell him that I’m not being satisfied even to the point after having intercourse I would turn over and begin to cry because I felt less of a women. It was always quick He didn’t even want me to move or get into it so how can you enjoy it. Just to get over I would make certain moves be like so he could finish so I can go about my business.
Now been separated and divorced since 2008 haven’t been in a relationship since. I wrote a poem about loosing myself which I will never do it again. I’m learning how to love me and know what I want in a man. If you don’t have it see ya. But now I’m waiting truly on God to send me someone who would love me the way God love the church. Love me like the love you have together. God Bless you abundantly ♥️♥️♥️♥️
8:25 Amen Lamb! That’s the key to being a successful spouse and having a happy marriage! You got it Lamb!🔑
This is a very interesting topic 🤣🤸🤸 ....
Transparency is very important 👍
Insecurities, low self-esteem, and a history of SA or CM, if not resolved and talked about prior to marriage-is a recipe for disaster. Believe me, I know. And those things have nothing to do with religion or faith; but they can make things even worse because you may harbor shame and embarrassment. As a former counselor as well as an SA/DV Survivor; I speak from experience.
The main thing as you all mentioned is HONESTY. And PLEASE, take your time! Learn to love and respect YOURSELF before even attempting to love and respect a life partner. My 1st marriage, entered because he threaten to off himself if I didn’t agree, then spent the next 5 years beating me, S on demand, and blaming me for the abuse..when I finally got the courage to leave; I jumped right back into another toxic relationship. To say I had issues is an understatement. I came from a family who had repeatedly told me how ugly, stupid, worthless and hopeless I was because I had the gall to be born with a rare genetic disorder. My mother, who I finally broke off contact, realizing she would never change; even at 90yrs old this year, STILL tells anyone she talks to that I destroyed her life just by being born..and I don’t deserve love or happiness. (She has her own mental illness; but it’s not dementia. She’s said these things since I can remember). I wasn’t “allowed” to go to counseling, even after one of my teachers saw the strap marks across my back and I was missing chunks of hair. While she reported it, my parents were very wealthy and never had any consequences. Me? I was locked in a room at a convent for several days, beaten and lectured by a Priest that “what happens behind closed doors, stays behind closed doors”. Even when I was old enough and out on my own, they constantly threatened me and I was terrified because my mother had convinced me that NO ONE would ever love me…while she has never once told me that she loved me.
I was too insecure, naive and had such low self esteem; I wouldn’t have a “normal” relationship until my mid-40’s, after much counseling and breaking away from my very toxic family. My 2nd and last husband couldn’t keep his zipper up and basically, was as insecure and had as much low esteem as I did. My last relationship, after almost 10yrs of counseling after my second marriage; certainly had its bumps. We decided to wait at least 4-5 years before getting married. We were open and honest with each other about our pasts, futures, wants and needs. Unfortunately, he died after being in an accident. I decided that God, or the cosmos, common sense; whatever you want to call it; was telling me that unlike the previous almost 50yrs, I don’t NEED a man. I’m fine on my own. My wonderful kids are always telling me a deserve to be with someone like my late fiancé to spend the rest of my days..last year, after my precious son died unexpectedly, my girls came and stayed with me for a month. They finally understand, I WANT to be single, I have no desire to have a partner again. I have them, my Dr Kitty_Leela, and my health is much worse than I had been telling them. (I didn’t want to worry or burden them). However, I have a lot of good friends around the world, male and female, I have my girls and my former stepchildren in my life. What more could I ask for?
Be honest, take care of YOU first! My girls are in very happy, healthy relationships with their partners and even my son, while he never married; his friends around the world would tell you he lived more in his much too short 31 years; than most men in their 80’s.
Okay, talking about sexual expectations, my girlfriend and I had an never had sex not because we wouldn't like to explore but because we want a marriage that pleases God and trust me this kind of relationship brings blessings to marriage. Neither of us are virgins but since we've known God and His standards our expectations is to experience and explore sex after marriage. I think this is more to adjustment to suit the drive of your partner. You can talk it out. Ling and Lamb, I love you guys and I'm learning.