Ranking Every Mario Kart 8 Track by How Safe It Is

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 พ.ย. 2024
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ความคิดเห็น • 1K

  • @j0rts
    @j0rts  ปีที่แล้ว +1616

    Stay safe out there

    • @LinkTheOnePieceFan
      @LinkTheOnePieceFan ปีที่แล้ว +26

      I will mr Jean shorts 🫡

    • @Jallwayswins
      @Jallwayswins ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yeat

    • @JCPplays
      @JCPplays ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I can't 😔

    • @Dr.jerk1357
      @Dr.jerk1357 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      And always use smart steering

    • @Kakkemans
      @Kakkemans ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Roblox hacker story end be like:

  • @thatguyhanzo3468
    @thatguyhanzo3468 ปีที่แล้ว +2051

    I must say thwomp ruins got rated VERY high for a track with no guard rails, jumps, rolling boulders, and, well, thwomps

    • @shannonhartfield2100
      @shannonhartfield2100 ปีที่แล้ว +309

      The Thwomps paid for a higher score.

    • @djroscurro9859
      @djroscurro9859 ปีที่แล้ว +117

      ​@@shannonhartfield2100they did pave all the roads after all

    • @adora_was_taken
      @adora_was_taken ปีที่แล้ว +83

      @@djroscurro9859 the kart-industrial complex is insidious. it goes all the way to the very top.

    • @paulstock260
      @paulstock260 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      ⁠​⁠@@djroscurro9859I thought Whomps were the ones that paved the roads, not Thwomps?

    • @djroscurro9859
      @djroscurro9859 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +25

      @@paulstock260 True, but they're usually close to each other. They share a brotherhood. Hell, Thwomps reside in Whomps fortress alongside the Whomps.

  • @HarleyMaebry
    @HarleyMaebry ปีที่แล้ว +3957

    Definitely gonna need Safety Inspector j0rts’s Safety Ratings on the DLC tracks before I invest my money into something potentially dangerous.

    • @PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth
      @PotatoPatatoVonSpudsworth ปีที่แล้ว +100

      Excellent point. If you play Super Smash Bros, I recommend watching the video that goes over each stage's OSHA violations, so you can be certain you only fight in absolute safety.

    • @titouanv4532
      @titouanv4532 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      But he did them

    • @V00doo1Xim
      @V00doo1Xim ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@titouanv4532link to video?

    • @TotalDramaHarold
      @TotalDramaHarold ปีที่แล้ว +15

      @@titouanv4532I think they meant the booster ones

    • @TomBrady-xf9mq
      @TomBrady-xf9mq ปีที่แล้ว +3

      LOL that's funny

  • @pedroleitevik5523
    @pedroleitevik5523 ปีที่แล้ว +1787

    To be fair, with 1up mushrooms and necromancy, the mushroom kingdom most likely have incredible healthcare wich is most likely why they seem to ignore any and all safety precautions

    • @MatthewConnellan-xc3oj
      @MatthewConnellan-xc3oj ปีที่แล้ว +157

      Yeah, when your healthcare is that good, at that point, safety is just a waste of resources

    • @johnrickard8512
      @johnrickard8512 ปีที่แล้ว +103

      1-up mushrooms ARE necromancy...but they are damn good at it. Hyrule also has these things called Fairies which are just as good.

    • @yohhh6715
      @yohhh6715 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      @@johnrickard8512Doesn't the fairy die? I don't remember any shopkeepers selling any fairies and you often catch them yourself so i guess it has to be taboo

    • @johnrickard8512
      @johnrickard8512 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      @@yohhh6715 it isn't that they die but that they are often in places that a mere NPC may have trouble getting to.

    • @elvingearmasterirma7241
      @elvingearmasterirma7241 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      ​@@yohhh6715 What? No!!
      The fairy just flies away after healing you up!
      which i mean considering you stuff em into a jar beforehand is super duper nice of em
      But yea. No fairies die. Theyre just difficult to get your hands on because they often are in monster infested areas or just hard to reach areas

  • @rybot7182
    @rybot7182 ปีที่แล้ว +1282

    "Drome" was originally an ancient Greek word, 'dromos,' meaning 'course.' It gained notoriety through the Greek hippodromos, chariot racing arenas where brave Disney characters would fight to the death in the gaaaaaames as Danny Devito coached them from the sidelines. The French later stole the word and cut off the last few letters as they're wont to do, resulting in 'drome,' and continued the racecourse tradition with Formula Une. Danny Devito's love of various methods of transportation would later result in variations such as the motordrome and aerodrome. The widespread adoption of electricity would eventually lead to famed inventor Deadmoufive creating electronic music, whose pairing with Japanese go-kart enthusiasts and esteemed Mario villain Doug Bowser culminated in the creation of the Electrodrome: a musically imbued go-kart race track.

    • @j0rts
      @j0rts  ปีที่แล้ว +314

      Wow thank you, I feel so much wiser now

    • @MisterNohbdy
      @MisterNohbdy ปีที่แล้ว +222

      this incomprehensible mesh of information and nonsense truly captures the zeitgeist of our time

    • @LotoTheHero
      @LotoTheHero ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Thank you for the insight!

    • @OliverSchlecter
      @OliverSchlecter ปีที่แล้ว +46

      @@MisterNohbdyperchance

    • @danielgoldberg8214
      @danielgoldberg8214 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      You did not have to go this damn hard with your comment

  • @WCircuit7224
    @WCircuit7224 ปีที่แล้ว +1107

    Now I want to see a mod where every track is made safer based on this

    • @DanielHarveyDyer
      @DanielHarveyDyer ปีที่แล้ว +70

      Let's get them all up to FIA grade one, and the complain about track limits for 90 minutes every Sunday!

    • @CheesyLizzy
      @CheesyLizzy ปีที่แล้ว +19

      I like this idea 😆
      First off, we gotta add safety rails everywhere we can

    • @IShy2
      @IShy2 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      I'd call the mod "easy tracks"

    • @atsukana1704
      @atsukana1704 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Just imagine all the good tracks but more boring

    • @JonathanWalcott
      @JonathanWalcott 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      @@atsukana1704 i got an idea we make it so there is no ramps or boosts

  • @rurintoge7425
    @rurintoge7425 ปีที่แล้ว +462

    This video made me realise I never quite took the time to just... look at the tracks. Missed so many details before! Granted, it IS safest to keep your eyes on the road while driving...

    • @jonahdunch4056
      @jonahdunch4056 ปีที่แล้ว +27

      Would recommend Any Austin for this kind of content - he has a video just exploring "odd and unremarkable" places in Mariokart Wii, and it revealed a lot of the beautifully rough edges in that game

    • @geaux13saints56
      @geaux13saints56 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Literally, I’ve never seen those bats on yoshi valley or that construction sign on grumble volcano

    • @crinsombone5380
      @crinsombone5380 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Personally I love going on the time trials and just explore the tracks

  • @Automaton_Spy_Network
    @Automaton_Spy_Network ปีที่แล้ว +84

    I love the idea of this random real life safety inspector being called in to professionally analyze the safety of fictitious and out there worlds. And him fully taking it as professionally as possible

    • @SebasTian58323
      @SebasTian58323 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      And then accepting a single bribe because of the duck boats

    • @victoriaetheridge5338
      @victoriaetheridge5338 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      There is another YTer who does this.

    • @victoriaetheridge5338
      @victoriaetheridge5338 15 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Jackson Field.

  • @haroeneissa790
    @haroeneissa790 ปีที่แล้ว +233

    I love how Sunshine airport implies that the mushroom Kingdom is absolutely massive and not just some small country with a few villages like most people imagine it. Bone dry dunes is an almost 6 hour flight. That is similair to the amount of time it takes to fly from Amsterdam to Dubai in the real world.
    But somehow the metro connects all those places which means that the metro stations must be incredibly far apart.

    • @MisterNohbdy
      @MisterNohbdy ปีที่แล้ว +25

      but everybody in the Mushroom Kingdom uses zeppelin-style airships, so a 6-hour flight by one of those is probably like a 30-minute plane trip

    • @haroeneissa790
      @haroeneissa790 ปีที่แล้ว +35

      @@MisterNohbdy the planes at Sunshine airport seem to be regular planes.

    • @Dexuz
      @Dexuz ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Which is kind of bullshit as the continent where the Mushroom Kingdom exists is quite small, as you can see on Mario Odyssey's globe.

    • @haroeneissa790
      @haroeneissa790 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      @@Dexuz Maybe the planet is much bigger than earth. We don't get anything as a reference for scale and we don't know how long it takes for mario to travel between the Kingdoms.

    • @Dexuz
      @Dexuz ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@haroeneissa790
      That's a possibility although the planet would have to be very big, and big rocky planets cannot exist as they would collapse into gaseous planets.

  • @PenelopeStoneVT
    @PenelopeStoneVT ปีที่แล้ว +503

    How did Thwomp's Ruins get that high a score after almost dying several times? lol

    • @taida8511
      @taida8511 ปีที่แล้ว +135

      The very reason why I went to look at the comments. Especially right after Sweet Sweet Canyon got a lot less points, despite Thwomp Ruins having all the things that made SSC dangerous, and in addition to that, it's own dangers too. I'm starting to doubt how safe it is to have someone like j0rts judge the safety of tracks...

  • @techoeastveld
    @techoeastveld ปีที่แล้ว +304

    The fact he uses a real Mercedes car colab vehicle to test these tracks, really shows his dedication to keeping us safe!

  • @StarshadowMelody
    @StarshadowMelody ปีที่แล้ว +86

    "Bowser's castle has a _Lot Of Work To Do._ 2.1 out of 10."
    Bowser: "Yup, gotta get that 0.5."

  • @amesstarline5482
    @amesstarline5482 ปีที่แล้ว +62

    The helmeted look of Miis really sells the Safety Inspector vibes, that and being in a realistic car.

  • @nikk-named
    @nikk-named ปีที่แล้ว +233

    It took me to Toad Harbor to realise that it wasn't a rating of how dangerous the track is, but how safe it is.
    Now everything makes a lot more sense.

    • @axisred2301
      @axisred2301 ปีที่แล้ว +56

      Baby Park danger level: 9.9/10

    • @Vanta526
      @Vanta526 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@axisred2301 XDD

  • @LocalGhostSoru
    @LocalGhostSoru ปีที่แล้ว +129

    I appreciate that the antigravity isn't counted as danger, as it's safe enough to stop upside down without any problem

    • @sinteleon
      @sinteleon ปีที่แล้ว +25

      As long as there are proper guardrails keeping you on the anti-grav.

  • @the-inatorinator
    @the-inatorinator ปีที่แล้ว +166

    Yes I want to see this for the DLC, it was hilarious. The concept is already funny, but what put it over the edge was your role as the safety inspector instead of a random youtuber talking about safety

  • @tiannaroberts6153
    @tiannaroberts6153 ปีที่แล้ว +52

    I disagree with giving water park a lower score due to you not being able to breathe underwater. This park was obviously made for a different sort of creature with different needs, saying that their park is bad because it has alot of places for fish-pigs to breathe is biased. If you are going off this standard, then Mario Kart Stadium should get a much lower score because it doesn't have anywhere for fish-pigs to breathe and is extremely hazardous to them. Especially when you consider the Water Park was ruled more dangerous than Thwomp Ruins which has multiple things in it that could crush and instantly kill you.

    • @nicholasstanton9575
      @nicholasstanton9575 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Bro turned into a nerd (sort of)

    • @ShrekNumberOneEnjoyer
      @ShrekNumberOneEnjoyer หลายเดือนก่อน

      You can see the Fish Pigs breathing without water. The very fact that the Amusement Park is located directly on a Race Track is a hazard in itself.

    • @JoJoSiwaPhobic
      @JoJoSiwaPhobic 29 วันที่ผ่านมา

      @@nicholasstanton9575he didn’t, if being a nerd is having a opinion then I’m a nerd I guess.

  • @everest5718
    @everest5718 ปีที่แล้ว +93

    Extra note with every underwater track: In this game you can play as Inklings! Who are well known to be unable to swim or be submerged in water >:( this means they are even less safe as any unsuspecting inkling could be splatted!!

    • @Drizzilenotreal
      @Drizzilenotreal 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      actually, if we assume this isnt salt water, theyre fine!

    • @mikeb5415
      @mikeb5415 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      There probably fine , they don’t dissolve , so it’s fine

  • @bruh_dah_
    @bruh_dah_ ปีที่แล้ว +67

    I remember in Mario Kart 7 when i was a kid i use to hold my breath when i enter any underwater sections for as long as i lasted racing there, Wario's Shipyard was a killer for me

  • @GTCMoxxie
    @GTCMoxxie ปีที่แล้ว +378

    jorts never fails to do the thing where you do the thing to find out how to do the thing

    • @j0rts
      @j0rts  ปีที่แล้ว +85

      That’s a great description of my channel

    • @Bulblorb
      @Bulblorb ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Facts

    • @linkfan0542
      @linkfan0542 ปีที่แล้ว

      *j0rts

  • @ethancheng6734
    @ethancheng6734 ปีที่แล้ว +115

    On Toad’s Turnpike there are signs that say “no limits”. Very safe indeed.

  • @CK_123
    @CK_123 ปีที่แล้ว +104

    You know, I had no idea that slowly running into hazards didn’t actually stun you, neat

  • @commander-fox-q7573
    @commander-fox-q7573 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    19:32 has gotta be one of the best lines I’ve heard in a while. Nice to see so many safety enthusiasts out there!

  • @javagirl98
    @javagirl98 ปีที่แล้ว +67

    This is the most anyone has ever used the “reverse” button in this game.

    • @angelogaray8019
      @angelogaray8019 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Me on 200cc:

    • @Mr-Trox
      @Mr-Trox 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I dunno, bagging and reversing at the start line is a very popular strategy on certain tracks in online play.

  • @Pumpernikkle
    @Pumpernikkle ปีที่แล้ว +130

    Im starting think your safety officer certification isn’t legitimate…..

    • @LotoTheHero
      @LotoTheHero ปีที่แล้ว +16

      No way! Seems totally legit!

    • @AnonymOus-ss9jj
      @AnonymOus-ss9jj 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      In the Mushroom Kingdom you don't need certification.

    • @TheManofBrisk
      @TheManofBrisk 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      ​@@LotoTheHeroDude said a desert track with a quicksand pit and giant spiky caterpillars is safer than a country road with a mole problem. The inconsistency in the rating criteria actually bothers me.

    • @CucuiKingGanondorf
      @CucuiKingGanondorf หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@TheManofBriskOCD? I’m all too familiar with it, so I’m just curious.

  • @alyssalong7913
    @alyssalong7913 ปีที่แล้ว +80

    Please do more once wave 6 is out! This was so fun to watch!

  • @Jeetaruey
    @Jeetaruey ปีที่แล้ว +26

    There is actually 4 Animal Crossing tracks. There is one for each season and you only inspected the summer one. Which one you get is randomly generated, so you will have to try a few times to get the rest.

    • @TheManofBrisk
      @TheManofBrisk 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Actually while you're selecting Animal Crossing, you can hold down R, L, ZR, or ZL to choose which season you want to race in. Each button corresponds to a different season, I don't remember which one is what.

  • @eusier9403
    @eusier9403 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    This is like how fast can you touch death but Mario Kart version

  • @alansmithee419
    @alansmithee419 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    1:40
    You forgot the fact that if you drive into water at high speed it's almost like driving into concrete. The deceleration on impact will be immensely unsafe.
    Also if you're in a vehicle with just your head poking above the body of the car the car's gonna wanna keep going and your head aint.
    Whiplash go brbrrrr.

  • @TheRandom000
    @TheRandom000 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    My man rated an amusement park 4 points higher than just a normal town

  • @therawkhawk64
    @therawkhawk64 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    I loved this one. A j0rts video never fails to entertain. In addition to the DLC for Mario Kart 8 DX, I'd love to see you give the bois over at CTR a safety check.

  • @MasterLagoz
    @MasterLagoz ปีที่แล้ว +12

    This is what they mean with the saying "cutting corners," so many corners without safety railings just to save on money!

  • @Goatman_Gamer
    @Goatman_Gamer ปีที่แล้ว +5

    A drome is a place for running or racing. And agreed, I thought it was electro dome at first too.

  • @BobTheAnimeDude
    @BobTheAnimeDude ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I never noticed how demonic the snowman on sherbet land looks lmao

  • @ericrautio7451
    @ericrautio7451 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I'd say most of the antigravity sections, particularly the ones that go fully sideways or upside down, would DEFINITELY count against the safety rating since there's no obvious safety precautions in place for if the mechanism causing the antigravity effect malfunctions

    • @AnonymOus-ss9jj
      @AnonymOus-ss9jj 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      I don't think he's there to rate the safety of the anti-gravity, and probably assumes that somebody else will do it. (Nobody will.)

  • @reaganmonkey8
    @reaganmonkey8 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    In NeoBowser City, it is always raining, which decreases friction and makes guardrails even more important.

  • @PhoenixAce64
    @PhoenixAce64 ปีที่แล้ว +101

    When jorts uploads you know it’s gonna be a good time.

  • @3possumsinatrenchcoat
    @3possumsinatrenchcoat ปีที่แล้ว +23

    important question: how quickly can you become cool in every Mario Game? (touch ice)

  • @cyberknightgaming2094
    @cyberknightgaming2094 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    your "how fast can you _________ in every __________ game?" series is what made you take off and i like that but IMO these kinds of vids are better

  • @mattm7220
    @mattm7220 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Wait... *THAT'S* how to get up to that ledge in Bone Dry Dunes!? By purposely running into the *obvious stage hazard* that in any other course would destroy you instantly? 🤯

  • @arthurlaurencon1697
    @arthurlaurencon1697 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Jeez this is exactly the type of content I crave. Not a Nintendo game but I'd love to see someone rank the Dark Souls 1 bonfires by how comfy they are.

  • @notshockwavedemon7543
    @notshockwavedemon7543 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Rainbow Road being the most dangerous track is what I expected. Good

  • @TheWeirdcoreMan
    @TheWeirdcoreMan ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Such a generous lad, risking his own life to keep us safe. Definitely much appreciated 🗿

  • @Lukingordex
    @Lukingordex 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Dry Dry Desert: has a giant quick sand spot on the middle of the road that would suck and suffocate any living being with no warnings whatsoever.
    J0rts: "This gotta be one of the safest deserts out there"

  • @epp678
    @epp678 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Mushroom Cup
    Mario Kart Stadium: 8.3/10
    Water Park: 5.2/10
    Sweet Sweet Canyon: 4.9/10
    Thwomp Ruins: 5.7/10
    Flower Cup
    Mario Circuit: 8.1/10
    Toad Harbor: 8/10
    Twisted Mansion: 4.8/10
    Shy Guy Falls: 5.3/10
    Star Cup
    Sunshine Airport: 6.6/10
    Dolphin Shoals: 4.2/10
    Electrodrome: 7.1/10
    Mount Wario: 5/10
    Special Cup
    Cloudtop Cruise: 4.9/10
    Bone Dry Dunes: 6.3/10
    Bowser’s Castle: 2.1/10
    Rainbow Road: 1.9/10
    Shell Cup
    Moo Moo Meadows: 8.5/10
    Mario Circuit (GBA): 8.1/10
    Cheep Cheep Beach: 7.7/10
    Toad’s Turnpike: 8.2/10
    Banana Cup
    Dry Dry Desert: 7.3/10
    Donut Plains 3: 6.9/10
    Royal Raceway: 8.3/10
    DK Jungle: 4.3/10
    Leaf Cup
    Wario Stadium: 4.5/10
    Sherbert Land: 6.8/10
    Music Park: 5.7/10
    Yoshi Valley: 6.1/10
    Lightning Cup
    Tick-Tock Clock: 6.4/10
    Piranha Plant Slide: 3.7/10
    Grumble Volcano: 2.3/10
    Rainbow Road (N64): 4.8/10
    Egg Cup
    Yoshi Circuit: 8.4/10
    Excitebike Arena: 9.2/10
    Dragon Driftway: 7.9/10
    Mute City: 5.1/10
    Tri-Force Cup
    Wario’s Gold Mine: 5.4/10
    Rainbow Road (SNES): 4.9/10
    Ice Ice Outpost: 8.6/10
    Hyrule Circuit: 7/10
    Crossing Cup
    Baby Park: 9.9/10
    Cheese Land: 6/10
    Wild Woods: 6.2/10
    Animal Crossing: 8.2/10
    Bell Cup
    Neo Bowser City: 5.9/10
    Ribbon Road: 6.1/10
    Super-Bell Subway: 6.2/10
    Big Blue: 4.7/10

  • @oddishsmile7368
    @oddishsmile7368 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    As someone who lives near cows moo moo meadows is way safer than the real thing. You haven't lived until you've turned a blind corner and there's a cow sleeping in the road that you have to wait for.

  • @boshman11
    @boshman11 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    How did Thwomp ruins end up with that high a score with crushing boulders, edges that lead to a free fall, a jump into a possible underwater segment and one jump down a giant flight of stairs across a chasm?
    I was pretty surprised to see it fare better than Waterpark

  • @stanzacosmi
    @stanzacosmi ปีที่แล้ว +2

    22:41 Fun fact. In the original, waluigi was actually so tall he could get hit by that. Meaning they actually took safety into consideration and adjusted the ride for its antigrav appearance

  • @just_ur_local_idiot
    @just_ur_local_idiot ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I love how Mario kart puts ur character's life in danger, it adds to the thrill!

  • @ninjaydes
    @ninjaydes ปีที่แล้ว +2

    As someone who enjoys Mario Kart, I think sharp corners are the worst safety infraction... but this video and its literal sense safety standards brought a smile to my face. Thank you.

  • @yoshidababies4222
    @yoshidababies4222 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    Never noticed the subway map or airport departures screen! Thank you for helping me see new details!

  • @konekoray9323
    @konekoray9323 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Giving Baby Park a 9.9 safety rating like it’s not a veritable slaughter ground for infants in any context other than hot lapping.

  • @DaShikuXI
    @DaShikuXI ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I appreciate how you managed to make a character that does in fact just scream safety inspector.

  • @LeamonPuppy
    @LeamonPuppy ปีที่แล้ว +2

    The Canadian accent was wild

  • @HmmmmmLemmeThinkNo
    @HmmmmmLemmeThinkNo ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I loved this!! I also love that first and last were predictable, but nothing else was c:

  • @Kesune5
    @Kesune5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    That was fun and an interesting view through the tracks. Please do it with the DLC courses as well. =)

    • @spicybeantofu
      @spicybeantofu ปีที่แล้ว

      Gotta wait for them all first

    • @adora_was_taken
      @adora_was_taken ปีที่แล้ว

      @@spicybeantofu they are here. i expect to hear some words about wii rainbow road.

  • @RainShinotsu
    @RainShinotsu ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you for the inspection, but I'm gonna need a breakdown on these scores. Some of them felt way underrated

  • @doodlebug47
    @doodlebug47 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    "Looks like we got a classic case of THERE'S LAVA EVERYWHERE."

  • @Mobtrapper-hq8is
    @Mobtrapper-hq8is ปีที่แล้ว +4

    1:20 *They’re called Noki!*

  • @eclipsicalbluestocking1182
    @eclipsicalbluestocking1182 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    There's something really cute and wholesome about that safety inspector Mii and his slow driving

  • @semaJCh
    @semaJCh ปีที่แล้ว +4

    This knowledge will keep me much more secure 🚗

  • @wafity
    @wafity ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Hill climb racing is even more dangerous!

  • @dscrib2492
    @dscrib2492 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    finally, the safety inspector showed up. we've been waiting for you for a decade!

  • @BlueBoiYT
    @BlueBoiYT 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    That “yellow” liquid is honey my friend

  • @bingusbongus9807
    @bingusbongus9807 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    you failed to account for the employed lakatus that save you from any falling hazards, still more dangerous then railings(although since this removes the possibility for a crash into the railings it could be safer) since the lakatus could fail it is still a great attempt to reduce the hazards of these unsafe environments and should have been considered

  • @AceJackWagon885
    @AceJackWagon885 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I thought this was gonna be a ranking video based on how dangerous the tracks are in MARIOKART, not REAL LIFE.

  • @ragnell27
    @ragnell27 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    J0rts is always asking the important questions.

  • @dili3713
    @dili3713 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I love how he sounds like a real inspecter😂

  • @comehaveabageltv
    @comehaveabageltv ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I want the checklist on some of these deductions. Toad's Turnpike got hosed on the safety rating.

  • @Sly88Frye
    @Sly88Frye ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Okay wow! Now I wish you would just do this for all the Mario Kart games because this actually is a surprisingly brilliant and funny idea. It was a lot of fun to watch and listen to your commentary

  • @LotoTheHero
    @LotoTheHero ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I really appreciate your attention to safety. I hope you've spoken to the Mario Kart officials so that they can be made aware of these oversights and have them looked into.

  • @izzyme989
    @izzyme989 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This video was truly amazing. I laughed, I cried, and, surprisingly, I felt safe. I am ready to go on only the safest tracks going a safe, manageable speed.

  • @ChuckTP1
    @ChuckTP1 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    here from sambucha newest video

  • @xoxo5296
    @xoxo5296 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Maybe "baby park" refers to the one track as just a diversion for the wee ones while the adults and teens take on more thrilling rides.

  • @QMADDEN
    @QMADDEN ปีที่แล้ว +5

    You should do how safe are the smash bros levels

  • @ErickTurdan
    @ErickTurdan ปีที่แล้ว +1

    "I dont know why there'd be CHOCOLATE ON BUBBLEGUM" 😂😂😂

  • @TheBreadPirate
    @TheBreadPirate ปีที่แล้ว +3

    SMH... Road workers have no respect for safety these days.

  • @XenyxYT
    @XenyxYT ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Now, Wario’s name is Wario Danger Wario, which is his canonical last name

  • @manupm9161
    @manupm9161 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    3:35 how the hell is sweet sweet mountain less safe than Thwomp ruins?

    • @TornaitSuperBird
      @TornaitSuperBird ปีที่แล้ว

      *Everything* is technically a health hazard.

  • @kingboo4518
    @kingboo4518 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is what the moo cow community post was about. Neat. Didn't expect that.

  • @alexcat7034
    @alexcat7034 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    j0rts upload :)

  • @Man-tini
    @Man-tini ปีที่แล้ว +1

    “Believe it or not I am NOT a fish-pig.”

  • @Pumpernikkle
    @Pumpernikkle ปีที่แล้ว +4

    j0rts I need to complete my driver’s ed to get my permit for high school, could you be my driving instructor pls

  • @coralinefoster7831
    @coralinefoster7831 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    i was gonna leave a comment about how a lot of these rankings don’t make sense in comparison to eachother but then i realized it’s literally a mario kart video and it’s almost 1am

  • @CasuallyShadow
    @CasuallyShadow ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Some of these feel like IGN review, you're like "Wow, sounds absolutely horrible" and then he gives them better scores than the ones you were kinda okay with, great video though!

  • @DanielSanGMR
    @DanielSanGMR ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Return of the King

  • @MichaelGaming-bu4cl
    @MichaelGaming-bu4cl ปีที่แล้ว +4

    🦆

  • @RadioSPD
    @RadioSPD ปีที่แล้ว +1

    i love watching some guy rank mario kart tracks on how safe they are at 4 am 💪💪💪💪

  • @juliagiles1547
    @juliagiles1547 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    j0rts: I’m not sure what chocolate is doing on ~bubblegum~ here
    me, with a rage i didn’t know I had: *ITS TAFFY*

    • @MisterNohbdy
      @MisterNohbdy ปีที่แล้ว +1

      see, it's nice when videos like this can teach us new things about ourselves

  • @KingLaZrButBad
    @KingLaZrButBad ปีที่แล้ว +1

    for alot of the long falls, you should probably account for the safety of the race itself, since every time you fall a lakitu catches you right before you could get hurt and takes you back on the track safely

  • @aquawrld
    @aquawrld ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I’ve never thought about how unsafe Mario kart tracks are, I’ll remember this next time I get on Mario kart!

  • @Th4tC4t
    @Th4tC4t ปีที่แล้ว +1

    9:35 you have now commited vehicular coppaslaughter

  • @BerylMorgan
    @BerylMorgan 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thank you so much for this analysis, inspector! I definitely want to point out that there are some factors that I'm concerned about that weren't discussed. For example, on Electrodrome and Sunshine Airport, I'm worried about the noise hazard that these tracks pose. In Electrodrome, racers are in close proximity to very large speakers, and at the Airport, racers are driving *next to a jet engine!* These hazards amount to 130 and 150dB respectively, and are loud enough that even proper ear protection couldn't be enough to protect from noises at that amplitude and at that proximity. I highly advise any racers to keep industrial-grade ear protection on their person at all times for this possibility.

  • @Cjweavss
    @Cjweavss 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I like how I got an ad for car protection on this video

  • @inesnobre2703
    @inesnobre2703 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    9:34 YOU MANIAC! YOU KILLED ME BOI!

  • @Jopes
    @Jopes ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Baby park is worst because of the fatal levels of boredom

    • @TheOffside0423
      @TheOffside0423 ปีที่แล้ว

      What are you talking about jopes, you get a free trip to hell

    • @engineergaminglechu
      @engineergaminglechu ปีที่แล้ว

      "Boredom" Did you even play baby park?

  • @ShinyMew76
    @ShinyMew76 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I definitely want to see this for the DLC tracks! I loved this video!

  • @lexij2159
    @lexij2159 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I do think Music Park deserves some credit for clearly marking the danger zones for the plants. The person who set those lights up is the true unsung hero of the mushroom kingdom.

  • @wombatpandaa9774
    @wombatpandaa9774 ปีที่แล้ว

    I'm glad you decided to talk about this because I literally never knew this existed until doing a government internship last summer.

  • @thewitchofgeek
    @thewitchofgeek 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Your accent really just makes me think of some random safety inspector from the real world just... summoned there and he's just doing his best.