its an addiction i rmb i first started wearing weave in 6th grade for dance comps,, it was a once in a while thing then i wanted braids for the first day of school fast forward now i want a sew in for the first day of school it was shoulder length water wave, then u started making my own money so now i want acrylic nails and weave the nails started at sports length my weaves sneakily got longer next thing i know im wearing acrylic claws and 30 inch indonesian bundles IN HIGH SCHOOL. caught myself having a conversation w some girls about hair and i heard myself saying "i could nevvverrr wear short nails i could neverrr wear hair shorter than 20 inches" then i realized wtf i was talking about im bragging about the length of chemicals being slapped on top of my nails and cant stand the way i look without them. im wearing another womans hair bragging about how i would never wear shorter length hair of another woman, all this in the span of 6th grade to 12th grade im just glad i realized it before it affected my mind more than it did. its truly an addiction to want longer and longer fake products its no different than body builders pumping their body with black market poison for bigger muscles, its no different than the girls addicted to butt shots, addiction is addiction its no different and thts all i want ppl to admit its no different.
when they say “my hair is too much work” then proceeded to buy a $100-$700 wig, fit the wig cap, cut the wig cap, glue the wig cap, cut the lace, tint the lace, align the wig, glue it once, wait for it to dry, glue it twice, wait for it to dry, pluck the wig, cut the edges, and that’s all BEFORE styling it. all for it STILL look unnatural. These silky wigs don’t frame our facial features… bc it’s not our hair. Your real hair is dry and unmanageable because it’s been neglected!! (I will say though if you choose to wear a wig at LEAST let it be similar to your texture)
This is actually a very exciting time for us! Black women have the power to shut down an entire industry that thrives on our hating our natural appearance. If we all embrace our natural hair or wigs and pieces that *look like our natural hair* the lacefront, straight hair, hair glue industry is *dead* . We singlehandedly uphold this industry which is based on the *myth* that our natural hair is ugly. Let's shut it down!
Literally!! I was recently watching a vid by this other yt channel named Clarieon (either that or Clarieon Call) and she brought up similar points. I’m so happy for us!!🥰
It is Dysmorphia. I refer to it as the "Black hair Psychosis" We actually Hate our hair. It's very disturbing,I have witnessed this syndrome for over 6 decades 🤦🏾♀️
I just started only wearing my hair recently. No weaves, no wigs, no braids with added extensions. Shamefully, it took me dating a nonblack man for me to realize how goofy it was for me to only be comfortable with someone else’s hair on my head. He couldn’t understand that concept at all, and when i tried to explain it to him i realized it made no sense. I can’t say I feel 100% confident with my hair, but I’m faking it until I make it. My hair is really thriving now, too.
My husband is Italian. He totally dislike wigs and braids. He advised me to keep my natural hair. Wash it 3 to 4 days a week. Keep it moisturized. I'm telling you now I love my natural hair and it's really growing ❤
No braids? Cause of a non-black man's opinions? Now THAT I do not understand. But do you boo, at the end of the day the only person what you do needs to make sense to is YOU. Not any man, or woman, of any race.
Lots of women wear the same Buss down middle part and side part with the baby hairs and it is so annoying to see a million women with the same look 👀 . It’s crazy that they don’t feel strange with a million twin sisters.
A million twin sisters is hilarious. A lot of women mimic the look of women who they see with men they desire to have, and sense it’s really only 20% of the same men women are sleeping/getting pregnant by ,they are really trying to look like their sister wives. 😢
I want to see millions of bw rocking afros again. It is our pretty privilege and separate us from others I always get smiles and compliments when I wear a afro
It’s definitely a dysmorphia and mental illness. I used to only wear straight wigs and weaves and when I started my spiritual journey I cut off my hair and wore it in a short natural style and I remember how I terrified I felt to leave the house and do simple things like go grocery shopping. It was crazy! I wore my hair like that until I started feeling comfortable and it took some time. I then got locs and never looked back!
Some cultures in Africa wore wigs I'm not denying that the reasoning but throughtout history wigs were the norm. Now do we have to wear bone straight hair not really but we sometimes put too much power on things. Every race of woman is changing their hair, dying their hair blonde, red, etc, wearing clip ins etc but black women are supposed to refuse things because according to some it's morally wrong. Why is hair a morality choice only for black women?
@@jasminepearls1047 your missing the point. It's really deeper than race to be honest. Basically the point is how enhancements on our physical appearance (black or white) can condition us to think the natural state is not as beautiful. And its not just hair, but lashes, makeup, anything we add to "feel" more beautiful. Black women in particular have been scrutinized for our natural hair so this covo is a little bit more personal to us.
@@jasminepearls1047 Thank You ...this is so well written. I don't wear wigs, weaves, etc. but I admire the ones that can and do. All races wear wigs.... we as a race were criticized about our hair ,our looks and tried so hard to change it anyway we could. so now its a big thing with wigs and weaves because someone has decided to to say we are beautiful as we are and all that mess but we already knew that it was other races and cultures that made us feel differently. There are more "caucasian" women wearing more wigs than we do but we are the only race that's criticized for it. I say do what makes you feel good about yourself and screw what everyone else says and you can still be beautiful.
Honestly I can't take black women seriously when they say wigs or even silk presses are easier than natural hair. I've worn wigs and I used to straighten my hair to death, and my natural hair is way less stressful than both. I needed 30 extra minutes to get ready with a lace front and with straight hair I have to be afraid of water, sweat, rain, humidity, bubbles, shower steam, etc or I was restraightening it all the time to look 'presentable'. With my natural hair, all I gotta do is deal with wash day. Wash day is the only time my hair is time-consuming. The only time I touch my hair between washes is to moisturize my hair and to oil my scalp, which is not much work. I'll never judge a black woman for choosing to wear wigs, weaves, silk presses, etc, but the dishonesty is exhausting.
I thought I was the only one who thought straight styles especially silk presses were more stressful! I love it but I’ve gotten used to not combing and styling my hair daily so it really became a chore for me. I’ve been wearing my hair in variations of twists hairstyles. And why is it so costly for a press? 😔
I’ve been called texturist for saying the same thing! I realized my natural hair was easier than maintaining hair in an unnatural texture (i was hooked to the flat iron). My hair honestly looked horribly frizzy, lol but battle my hair at it’s worst taught me hiw to deal with my mane. Once you master styling your own natural hair, you come up with quick styles and moisturizing routines.
It depends on the style and how well your hair handles being straight. For me, a loose straight style is more manageable than a loose natural style. I've never worn a wig. I put on a shower cap, use an umbrella, tie my hair at night, and use a sweat-wicking headband when I work out regardless of my hair style. When I straighten my hair, the process from washing takes me ~4 hrs, and it lasts 3-4 weeks without me doing anything to it. If I wear a loose natural style, the process from washing usually requires drying overnight to set, and it lasts ~4 days before getting poofy and dry. When my hair is straight, it looks the exact same every day. When I wear a loose natural style, my hair gradually changes every day as it goes from how I set it to being dry/poofy and requires some sort of daily management. I can't predict exactly what my hair is going to be on when I wake up from day to day
@@Neesha242 I’m not against straight naturals I genuinely think they have their reasons and it’s a preference not every curly girl wants a Fro, for me I’d rather see us wearing OUR straight hair than a euro/Asian straight bundles/wig
@@gorlunion Yep, I big chopped right around family reunion time. Failed a wash n go and rock a super round fro with some new shades, midriff, overalls and platforms. Looks and stories of nostalgia all day long.
A couple of weeks ago, my sister in law complimented my hair. I have long healthy natural hair. She kept talking about how long and curly it was. I have tighter curls and my hair type is 4a but it appears looser now that it’s longer. My sister in law who has 4c hair said that her hair was very dry and it’s difficult to deal with. I told her no it’s not difficult to deal with, you just need to moisturize and take care of your hair. She asked me how I took care of my hair and I told her my hair routine and products. I wash and condition once a week, detangle, and braid it into 4 braids. I take it down after 5 days and wear it down for two days before rebraiding it on wash day. I also let her know that products don’t make your hair grow. It’s having a consistent routine that helps you grow healthy hair. I also showed her natural hair TH-camrs I follow on TH-cam which helped me learn how to take care of my hair. She told me it’s “ too much work “. My sister in law spends HOURS installing her weave, blow drying and straightening her hair, and braiding her hair with extensions like box braids but taking care of her natural hair is “too much work.” I don’t understand why so many black women think this way. I’m also tired of the self deprecating videos on Tiktok.
Bc we all have different hair and textures sometime it is too much to deal with atm. My style would work & stay with certain products & keeping it healthy. Now it will not stay no matter the routine treatment or products. And if I hv an invite to a wedding for next week or month I’m not going to test it by wearing my natural hair but not sure what my hair’ll look like by the end of the night. 😢 I wish I could still wear my hair with confidence as I did when I was younger.
I think there's different views on what's considered "work" and how much is "too much". She might think it's too much work for the result she expects when doing her natural hair. For example I have short 4z hair, and 30 minutes of styling it might get me a slick back crackhead bun at most. And by "slick" I mean with a couple stray away hairs because I still have yet to find a gel/pomade/edge control that actually holds my hair texture down (without heat treatment). Whereas 30 minutes with a lace front, you get obviously different results in a shorter time frame. Just offering a different perspective. Looser hair textures are much easier to style. Length, texture, all that comes into play. Black women need to start embracing their natural hair but I'd be lying if I said I couldn't understand why they go for the synthetic styles. More options with the same, or less, amount of work.
I don’t mind the wigs , but to the point of destroying and neglecting our natural hair for the sake of a wig/weave. That’s OD !! Thank goodness that’s not me anymore.
This the one for me. Bfre i stopped 100% i started wearing yaki straight, bcz i ws like if imma wear it imma at least do my texture..eventually i gave up on it all
@@touche5029 Good for you girl , weave free. I am too besides braids . If I do get a weave it’s going to be in the fall/winter AND it’s going to be closest to my texture .
i knew it became a problem for me when i tried everything I could to make my wigs look like it was all scalp . why am i trying to make somebody hair that’s not mine look like it’s coming out my scalp?? haven’t worn a wig in 4 years since i had those thoughts
I'm a licensed stylist. 1st off confidence is key no matter what you wear. When you wear confidence,the rest will follow.Healthy hair is beautiful hair. These lacefront/wigs/ pieces were originally made for special occasions, theater, TV and people who lost their hair to medical reasons. I try to instill in my clients that no matter what,you have to love yourself first,everything else is an additive.
Apparently wearing twists/braids/locs with synthetic hair is bad for us too 😢😢😢 there are chemicals and a bunch of stuff synthetic hair is made out of that can cause hair loss itchy scalp etc.. so i stop wearing faux locs :’(
@@lovedrakexxYou can wash away the chemicals. That’s like trying to wash away the plastic from a plastic bowl. The chemicals leak into your scalp because that’s what it’s made from
I think we should wear our hair regardless of our confidence. Because even though other groups wear fake hair too it mostly matches their texture. Silk on silk. It’s okay to have straight styles but make it kinky! Even our silky straightened hair doesn’t look the same as other groups silky hair and I think because so many of us never wear our actual hair or just wear it for a bit and wear other textures it’s caused insecurity in us and adds to unspoken inferior complexes we have and all of other races have about us. We’re still trying to appeal to a world that has always wanted us to feel inferior and still does. We have to take control
The natural hair movement is back in full force! I went natural almost 20 years ago and had to stop relaxing when I realized that I had never seen my natural texture. White supremacy has really done a number on but selflove helps to wipe those all away. I'm so proud of this generation of Black women for coming to this realization. You're doing amazing work here! 👏🏾
Can we also clock the rude & disgusting treatment we get at the Korean stores or ordering hair online as if we’re inconveniencing them! It’s been such a relief to not have to go in their establishments as much since I wear my hair natural. Almost all ethnic hair care products can be found at Target or Walmart or Sally’s and the treatment is night & day. I started to get a lot of anxiety & feel disgusted when I had to go into the beauty supply stores and give them my money knowing they couldn’t STAND me! But I will say thankfully I’ve seen the slow decline with us coming into their stores and I’m here for it! In my area we have a lot of beauty supply stores ran by Africans & they are also pretty nice. It’s time we stand up 👏🏾
Same treatment we get from nail salons. I had one of the worst experiences at a nail salon where they were obviously making fun of my boyfriend and I while staring and laughing at us. Safe to say I won’t ever go to another salon that is Asian owned.
I noticed when I go in there for other products (gloss, lotion, combs, whatever else) they almost get offended that I don’t need it… and pls ladies don’t ask for their recommendations. They will sell you a crazy ass wig lmao.
Preach I stopped wearing wigs, and fake braiding/fauxlocs hair, and now I’m 100% Natural and loc’d❤️ These wigs is WAYY more maintenance, and expensive then being natural. Its a cop out excuse cause they wanna look like a “baddie”.. It’s definitely a mental thing when you feel beautiful and confident wearing the REAL hair of other ethnic women… I watched a documentary on how black women get their hair… these ethnic women cut their hair and sacrifice it to their gods, and send it over to us… most of these women are poor and don’t even want to cut their hair , but have to to pay bills and feed their family. It’s truly sad. And I want no parts in that ‼️ Thanks for bringing this out, those who got understanding will agree ❤
Lace fronts were created for actors, actresses, and the stage. Oh yeah, and for drag queens and those who suffer from hair loss. Not for women with a perfectly good head of hair who thinks their hair is some kind of handicap. Hair dysmorphia is real.
@@Shrimptera I in no way implied that natural hair wasn’t good enough for special occasions. I explained that wigs aren’t made for us to wear every day, but for occasions and the stage IF YOU SO CHOOSE. Please don’t be obtuse, girl.
All natural hair is multiple textures.. doesn't change the fact that extensions should be the closest match you can get to the main texture of your hair- thats what makes it not look like weave. Nobody should be walking around with yaki roots and a body wave ponytail.. looking silly! 😂🤣
This is such a truth that a LOT of black women don't like to hear and will argue you down. Glad to see that there are others who also agree about the weave issue we have in our community. Thanks for speaking up and clocking it!
Wigs are literally head coverings. And a lot of different cultures and religions wear head coverings for spiritual protection, modesty and to display their dedication to God to the world. And these wigs also send a message. It sends a one of insecurity, low self esteem and the glorification of the look of another group of people. The dedication to these wigs and loose hair extensions is almost religious. But instead of dedication to a higher power it’s to the approval of broken men and to social validation. And I don’t by any means think that is an extreme comparison I mean look at the way these “influencers” who get the guy are praised, defended and emulated. Society has created a faux scarcity of good men and now use women’s innate drive to mate against us. The competitiveness is ridiculous. The vast majority of us are looking for one man and I promise you that it’s possible to find a good man who will love you in your natural state. Take a step back to heal and you’ll realize that being loved, accepted and appreciated does not warrant all of this.
@@NyllaRaeethere are plenty of rich men with women that have short hair..And most people aren’t coming across rich people and actually dating them, so I’m super confused on why you are worried about what rich men like and how that relates to people wearing wigs
Exactly don’t understand why people care so much about she other people do to their head. If you want to be natural then that’s your choice but stop tryna shame ppl from it. Everyone dosent like their natural hair … and that’s okay.
I'm white and relate to this so much ....like your sister I use my hair as just a base ....I don't leave my house without a wig...ponytail ...vpart wig....clip in extensions or a wig topper....if I look I the mirror with my real hair it's foreign to me.....lord Jesus please help me love myself...in Jesus name amen
I have never worn a wig, but I’ve been calling black women’s complex with their hair “hair dysmorphia” for years. If you aren’t use to seeing your own hair texture fit with your face, and body you will reject it. It will never look “right” to you.
I can agree I began to feel stupid for wearing wigs, it did damage my hairline it took months to grow back! wearing wigs made me feel embarrassed to wear others ppl hair and it Carry’s the energy of who head it came off of . It changes your image of yourself. I am now loc’d for a year now. And I love the stages it took me through.. it made me pay attention to my natural beauty, grow confidence in myself! And made me no longer care what ppl see but what I feel 💯💯 love this video
I’m so glad I’m seeing more videos like this. Even if i don’t necessarily agree with every point, IT NEEDS TO BE SAID, IDC! It’s actually embarrassing atp. We all know why bw have been pushed to wear textures that aren’t theirs and it’s not our fault; but it is our responsibility! We have to bring younger women into this world and how silly is it if we don’t set the foundation for them?!?!? Why are babies getting wigs laid?!?!? Why are teenagers feeling like they need lacefronts in hs and middle school?? It’s becoming generational just like perms. Very disheartening. The more we all wear our natural hair, the more normal it’ll be. But they’ve convinced themselves purchasing a $800 unit, plucking it, customizing it, and re applying it every 2 business days is easier than detangling and styling their own hair once a week. As someone with the tightest coil pattern, I’m tired of them pretending it’s rocket science. This is why it’s taken so long to get products and weaves that cater to us. Those companies aren’t making 4c extensions bc they know they won’t sell! They’re not making products with us as the target audience bc not enough of us have educated ourselves on our own texture to even KNOW what it is that we need in a product! We need to get it together
You really got me thinking wearing wigs is fckn embarrassing 😂😂😂 and it’s not like I don’t have hair, my hair is thick full and past my shoulders. I think I’m just brainwashed. I stopped wearing laces and started doing v parts. I’m slowly working my way to being fully natural. Dang this video was good lol
Girl that’s the way it hit me too I was like girl are u 70 yrs old?? A wig?! 😭 I’m tryna give up lashes next although I’m not as pressed I jus wanna be free !
@@MyAccountForCommentingdon’t start. Every race wears lashes and white women stay getting lash extensions Everybody lashes is straight also Completely different topic..
Yes I am I hair stylist and I am constantly explaining that these styles they are wanting come with a lot of consequences. We can only do it as safely as we can. I am forever encouraging styling the natural hair
A lot of videos like this have been coming up in my feed. It feels like this natural hair movement reboot where we're unpacking a lot of the internal blocks that tripped many of us up in the last cycle, and I'm so here for it! I've been natural for well over 20 years and it wasn't always easy. Not because it's inherently harder to care for, but because there is a higher learning curve to figuring out how to style and care for type 4 hair when you spent so long trying to make it something it's not. I'm glad that there are women willing to put in the work to normalize wearing what grows naturally out of our heads. My hope is the generation behind us have a future version of themselves to look at that doesn't make them feel like they have to contort themselves into another person's aesthetic in order to be beautiful. It's the reason I didn't give up during those times when I was on the struggle bus an had no idea what I was doing. I struggled with my hair so that hopefully the black girls thirty years from now don't have to.
I remember the hair videos that were popular during quarantine- women on the verge of tears on the bathroom floor because they didn't know what to do with their natural hair and couldn't get a silk press or laid wig at the salon because everything was closed. 🙁
I made myself a good old flaxseed gel with Jamaican castor oil and put my hair in mini twists for the pandemic. The growth i ended up with, hair down to my tidis. Washed my hair in those twists and re-twisted when needed.
There are some Black women that equate wearing natural hair to “being broke” I’ve heard that way too much also. “She’s natural because she’s broke” unlearn this smh!
THIS! I was beefing with a girl and she used my hair as an insult, saying she don’t argue with broke bitches who can only afford to wear nappy hair. It’s crazy because we’re still in high school, why would I need a glamorous 30 inch body wave lace front every day?? My hair is under boob length, to my shoulders when shrunken which is usually how I wear it, and it’s like a reddish sandy brown. I’m brown skin and my hair complements my skin tone so well, why wouldn’t I want to wear it and let the whole world see it everyday? Plus I’m not broke, my parents and I just bought me my first car in cash, and I have money put aside for school. And my family takes vacations twice a year. That is not broke at ALL. I just prefer my natural hair because it is so beautiful on me, I feel most confident in it, it’s healthy, and I never had any problems getting compliments or attention from guys with my “nappy” hair
I completely agree with you. I am 55 years old and didn’t start wearing my natural hair until the age of 40. I did a big chop and immediately felt ugly. I cried a lot and didn’t have a lot of support from the black community. Honestly, it took me a year to become comfortable and learn how to manage/love my own hair. Now I keep my hair mostly at bra strap length, but I have had setbacks - cut it, then grew it back. It’s just a matter of getting through that first period of learning your hair which gives you confidence in the end.
I’m 26 and have permanent damage to my edges from my mom constantly braiding my hair too tight. It’s called traction Alopecia. My edges aren’t bad at all. I can wear ponytails etc. plus I was the only cousin (out of 10) that was dark skin with 4b-c hair. My cousin would constantly get compliments about their hair texture. My hatred for my hair start so young. Now that I’m older I loveeeee my complexion. But some days I gain frustration with natural hair. Maybe bc I just did a big chop and truly learning my hair and what she loves
I watched black women en masse get inspired to get big chops and grow out their perms and start using hair products for natural hair and learn their curl patterns and learn to do twist outs and TWAs, etc. Then, I watched black women discover lace-front wigs and all that natural stuff went out the window. Remember when Nene made fun of Kim for wearing a wig on RHOA? Not that long ago, it was weird to wear a wig. I feel bad that this happened. I agree that an afro is the easiest style. Anyone whose easiest style is also their most flattering style is very lucky.
This is the exact reason why I stopped. The fact that I thought me being with my natural hair was “weird” in itself was sad and crazy as I got so used to wearing wigs everyday for 8 years. Im 26 years old now and im so happy with my own hair and hairline. Plus it seemed too “theatrical”.
@@loralita5837 and you just jumped into conclusions because why? Exactly; I hide and neglected my hair. Didn’t take care of it either because I had my wigs to worry about. Stop being pessimistic. It says more about you instead
I’m the only black girl at most of my jobs and that was enough reason for me to stop. I hated the feeling of people staring at my lace😅. I’ve moved to using kinky crochet on my hair and they last for a month but in October I’ll be switching over to microlocs my friend has them and she’s been so comfortable in her hair and I love that.
Girl I agree. I used to not know how to properly take care of my hair and define the curls but once I got a bit older in my 20s I finally mastered my hair and what it likes so now my hair thrives, grows, and the curls are immaculate. And yes, I also wear hair pieces that resemble and mimic my own natural curl pattern (3c/4a).
@@zaire-aniyarobinson2928 I don’t care what society thinks of my hair type. All that matters is what I think and I even still get a few stares every now and then when I go out in public or in the stores with my big curly hair out but I keep my head up and keep it moving. I’ve been much happier when I stopped caring about what people thought of my hair, good or bad.
I love how you pointed out how wigs are very heavy in the south. I feel like I want to give a stab at why that is but I may not have all the right data, words, and facts. But deep down I think I know why. I was born and raised in South Georgia. I recently moved to the Bay Area. Now I either see braids or natural hairstyles. Complete opposite from the south. Very interesting.
@@CerseiLannister999 wow really? I’ve never been out that way. I’m in the Bay Area now and I see braids and natural hair on black women, hardly buss down wigs. If anything, I seen an older black woman with a wig but I don’t think that counts much in this case. In the south, complete opposite.
My guess is that we aren’t as progressive as other regions in the states bc the south was the most racist so maybe we’re the most insecure? What u think 🤔?
@@gorlunion ding ding 🛎️!! I think that’s right along the lines I was thinking. Definitely not as progressive and still lots of deeeeeeep self hatred. Especially in the rural areas where I’m from. You won’t catch a lot of black girls where I’m from rocking their natural hair unless they have a looser curl pattern or simple mixed race 🌚 And all the girls I know that have locs, wear wigs until their locs are mature and even then it’s still wig after wig constantly over the locs 😬
My whole life changed when I truly came to Christ, and I started to love myself truly because I understand that he lives within me. The beauty he allowed me to see in myself is greater than anything I could possibly buy from the store. I love the fact that you brought this to the table!❤
Girl I just love how serious but funny , irritated yet passionate you are 😂😂 most people can’t hold my attention for too long but every single word you said hit !!! 💜
I get what u saying but those wigs come from Asian. How do they now own Asian ppl hair and straight hair at that? Yts aren’t the only ppl with straight hair and the only reason yt women get told off for it is because they’re the same ones that enforced no natural hair in the workplace and discriminated against locs and braids Not the same thing
I have often thought the same thing about the ladies wearing the wigs and weaves. I've been natural since 2008. I'm at the point where I feel black women highly exalt unnatural beauty standards and the wearing of "other people's hair". That's why I stopped wearing full face make-up. You just get used to that aesthetic over a period of time and cannot see yourself without it 🤷🏾♀️...
Black women don't feel if there was a point in your life where you hated your natural hair or was addicted to nails and weave. It is not your fault. As a black woman myself, we have been trained to hate ourselves going back to slavery days.
I love this video! I freed my self four years ago and I will never go back. The more I love my hair, the longer my hair grows. We need to start loving ourselves. Thank you for sharing. By the way, you are beautiful!🩷🩷🩷🩷
About 3 years ago, I was diagnosed with scarring alopecia in the front of my head. Years of wearing locs snatched about a 1/3 of my scalp slappy bald. My dermatologist told me that I needed to cut my locs or risk permanent hair loss. I cut them and wore a short afro. I get so many looks and compliments - even more so than I had with waist length locs....and I'm still nearly George Jefferson bald on top!!
I love this conversation sooo much! I just started my length retention journey. I haven’t worn anything but kinky straight in a while (my profile pic is old) but it was a u part wig or clip ins to match more but then I started getting damage on my leave out. I’m just over it, I want to grow my own natural hair. My hair texture is 4B and beautiful. I’m learning now that the only reason it wasn’t growing is because I was manipulating it too much and I wasn’t moisturizing it. Black hair is beautiful, we just gotta do a better job of caring for our hair. I’m excited to see where I am a year from now ❤ great video!
I just saw ppl on TikTok talking about hair Dysmorphia after where a wig, they fault like wear braids made them look ugly And they wanted to wear more wigs
Love my fro, but my hair is long now, so achieving and maintaining it is WAY more work than just putting it in two braids for a week. (Way less tangles too.) Also maybe love your natural lashes too. That lip combo is fire! Good point about matching outfits to hair.
U kno what’s crazy? Most black girls can’t even relate to that really long thick hair struggle bc theyre* stuck at shoulder length. So I feel like makes it seem like we’re even lazier bc u wear ur hair and it’s more work yet ppl with ear length claim they can’t handle 5 inches of hair
@@gorlunionlmaooo not 5 inches of hair that reminds me of some of my cousins😭😭their hair was beautiful when we were little so it’s not like it doesn’t grow
We start with ourselves and shine our light being natural, so others can become more comfortable with seeing their natural hair on others. Sad to say most people are followers and not leaders. So it's really up to the leaders to break the barriers and then everyone else will follow.
It's really nice to hear someone from the lifestyle speak up about it. I've always been a natural hair girly and when I speak up about how it does more harm than good, its not economical, and it's not a real protective style, people get made. I like how you pointed out how it's really not necessarily a low-maintenance style that people who hate their hair try to claim. Also, it only looks good for a few days, and it's not worth the money and process people go through.
I also think it may be whatever is trending, I notice a lot of high schoolers and young women wearing either the middle part buss down wig or the micro box braids with the curly/wavy add ons… I think if majority of women started to wear afros then that would be the next style
I love your perspective in this video! This is a conversation that I had with myself a few years ago. I was the type of girl that wouldn’t leave the house with out lashes/makeup and a wig. It took me a while to realize that I was uncomfortable in my own skin and my self confidence was depleted. I did not like that so I made some changes. I stopped wearing wigs, makeup, lashes… the whole 9. I loc’d my hair and I worked on clearing my acne and improving my overall physical health. When I tell you that has been the best thing I could have ever done for myself. Flaws and all I’ve never been more confident in my own skin. I still do my hair (locs) but like you said I’ve learned to style it to compliment my personality and fit my lifestyle. I love my natural hair 🥰💗
Preach sissss! Omg I went on a natural and spiritual journey last year October and told myself I wouldn’t wear a wig again until I am 100% confident within myself. I have gotten braids twice within these 8 months and silk presses 3 times and when I tell you bay bay …hair dysmorphia is REAL. I moved to Atlanta 3 1/2 years ago and saw all the “popular” women wearing wigs and getting their hair done 1-2 weeks. I thought I should be apart of the band wagon too. I never wore a lace front in my life always wore my hair whether I added pieces or not. I changed who I was to receive a certain attention and approval that I didn’t need. Lost my edges, lost friends, and lost confidence in myself along the way. It’s been a rough journey but I am embracing every moment of me being able to actually feel my own scalp everyday and not wearing that brown wig cap with super glue on it to lay down some “foreign” hair chile. Thanks for this video I needed you today sis! We ALL do! 🤍🤍🗣️
Fav comment. This is so real. It started in elementary school for me girl. I only had 3 or 4 wigs and it’s still something that be in the back of my head like dang should I get a install?? And recently this older black lady publicly made a comment abt my fro so I slicked my hair into a bun 🙄 I got insecure, idk. I feel like I’m back at square one. But ima make a vid abt that cuz black women be our biggest opps !
it wasnt until i stopped wearing the wigs and started taking care of my hair and finding what worked for me that i finally prefered wearing my own hair and now it’s growing so long. I kinda look back and cringe at all the bad wigs and stress of wearing someone else’s hair on top of mine. It’s crazy, i hope black women can find peace away from the wigs and weaves as i did. I don’t have to worry about blending lace or baby hairs or helmet hair or night caps. Our natural hair can do a lot if you nurture and work with it
I’ve seen a lot of videos on this topic but girl you ate! What you said about girls trying to humiliate themselves online really hit the nail. I also appreciated you coining “hair dysmorphia” 😂
I wore clip-in extensions blended with my natural hair for a month and a half. When it was time to take them out, I felt so ugly without them. Wearing full-face makeup can have a similar effect. I had to ease up on them.
I also think a lot of Black women don't like wearing their natural hair because it makes them look younger than what they are. And that can be annoying especially if you've been mistaken for a teen, approached by teen boys or even working in higher positions and people not taking you seriously. So I can understand both perspectives.
Thank you for making this video !!! I shaved my head a year ago. I rocked the bald and beautiful look for a while and now I’m on my hair growth journey with my twa ! I’m falling back in love with my hair again experimenting with different styles and colors. There’s so much freedom in loving your natural self. 💜
Wearing the fro is so freeing. Literally get compliments on it daily. No effort. I don’t understand what people are talking about when they think natural hair is ugly. It’s beautiful and powerful.
The beauty industry in general has us in a chokehold…I used to wake up 2 hours to get ready until I realized I’d sucked the fun and the creativity out of beauty routines. I was doing the most because subconsciously I felt I had to. A switch up is okay! But a dependency…now that has to be closely examined. Because fr why?
It’s crazy I got this video on my TL while I was debating if I should wear my Afro for a flight I got this week, I was kind of chickening out because last time I did wear my Afro I didn’t feel confident.
Girl the first time I wore mine I was so scared but I got more compliments than I ever did and I was worried about my edges flaking or nun bc I didn’t lay them .. it was PEACEFUL so lightweight !
I love this! It’s so true. We have beauty that is unique and timeless too. People are getting rich off of our insecurities. Self love is the best love.
love this video 💕 it wasn’t until i went natural when i realized everyone is wearing a wig especially on Instagram when you think about it. Ever since i went natural i feel like the prettiest i ever been 🦋 it’s amazing healing experience falling in love with your hair ! It’s crazy because I love my 3c curls wayyy more then a buss down
Thank you for this. ❤ I started microlocs 3 months ago. I may still wear other styles from time to time but my head needs to just be on its own before its all gone.
You go girl 👏🏽 🫶🏽 I love that I'm seeing more and more women talk about this. A conversation our community needs. Its long overdue. And for those that don't understand. Its okay maybe this conversation is not for you.
I love this video🙌🏾 I don’t have type 4 hair but even with type 3 hair I used to wish it was straight as a kid. I had to unlearn my internalized anti-blackness and I’m glad I did because my hair was fried trying to keep it straight 24/7. As black women, I really want for us to embrace and love all of our features, especially the “undesirable” ones.
I love you DEARLY!! You kept it real the entire video!!! So many black women don't want to hear this because social media is telling them otherwise. Weave is not cute at all to me. When I look back at my old pictures, I would say to myself, girl that 30' middle part blonde buss down don't even compliment your melanin! Like what are you doing?.. Weave really took away my natural aesthetic. Now, I wear my natural hair all year round. I even named my fro Lol. More black women need to watch this video. Ditch the wigs and wear your natural hair.You'll feel so beautiful and confident!
I had really bad hair delusion. I have 3c/4a hair and would straighten it or wear weave. For the 18 months I’ve had a curly pixie with my natural hair and this is the most flattering style I have worn! Sometimes I straighten it for a cute little bob look but apart from that I’m a curly pixie girl!
![เจ้าผู้เดียว - ดิด คิตตี้ [OFFICIAL MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/q0NLCYKBOTo/mqdefault.jpg)
its an addiction i rmb i first started wearing weave in 6th grade for dance comps,, it was a once in a while thing then i wanted braids for the first day of school fast forward now i want a sew in for the first day of school it was shoulder length water wave, then u started making my own money so now i want acrylic nails and weave the nails started at sports length my weaves sneakily got longer next thing i know im wearing acrylic claws and 30 inch indonesian bundles IN HIGH SCHOOL. caught myself having a conversation w some girls about hair and i heard myself saying "i could nevvverrr wear short nails i could neverrr wear hair shorter than 20 inches" then i realized wtf i was talking about im bragging about the length of chemicals being slapped on top of my nails and cant stand the way i look without them. im wearing another womans hair bragging about how i would never wear shorter length hair of another woman, all this in the span of 6th grade to 12th grade im just glad i realized it before it affected my mind more than it did. its truly an addiction to want longer and longer fake products its no different than body builders pumping their body with black market poison for bigger muscles, its no different than the girls addicted to butt shots, addiction is addiction its no different and thts all i want ppl to admit its no different.
Wowww this a word!!!
OKAY speak on it
Really clock it!!!!
The truth!!!
Oooooh shit! I’m glad you caught yourself. Self reflection is the first step
when they say “my hair is too much work” then proceeded to buy a $100-$700 wig, fit the wig cap, cut the wig cap, glue the wig cap, cut the lace, tint the lace, align the wig, glue it once, wait for it to dry, glue it twice, wait for it to dry, pluck the wig, cut the edges, and that’s all BEFORE styling it. all for it STILL look unnatural. These silky wigs don’t frame our facial features… bc it’s not our hair. Your real hair is dry and unmanageable because it’s been neglected!!
(I will say though if you choose to wear a wig at LEAST let it be similar to your texture)
All that work for it to look unnatural 😂 so true.
That’s right!!!
Idk how wig installation works but omg that sounds like a lot of work... so many steps. So much money and so much time spent on that.
This!!!, doesn't frame our features well.
Thank you
This is actually a very exciting time for us! Black women have the power to shut down an entire industry that thrives on our hating our natural appearance. If we all embrace our natural hair or wigs and pieces that *look like our natural hair* the lacefront, straight hair, hair glue industry is *dead* . We singlehandedly uphold this industry which is based on the *myth* that our natural hair is ugly. Let's shut it down!
I hope I live to see the day. I at least want us to own our own industry.
Wigs should be optional
Not a must
☝🏽‼️
Especially since they make it very difficult for us to be in the business of hair. 😡
Literally!! I was recently watching a vid by this other yt channel named Clarieon (either that or Clarieon Call) and she brought up similar points. I’m so happy for us!!🥰
It is Dysmorphia. I refer to it as the "Black hair Psychosis" We actually Hate our hair. It's very disturbing,I have witnessed this syndrome for over 6 decades 🤦🏾♀️
Im begging u to make a vid or write a blog post
I feel like all hands on deck let’s heal each other
@@gorlunion I will. You'll be the 1st I will share it with 🙌🏾💖
Thank you
You're so right
I just started only wearing my hair recently. No weaves, no wigs, no braids with added extensions. Shamefully, it took me dating a nonblack man for me to realize how goofy it was for me to only be comfortable with someone else’s hair on my head. He couldn’t understand that concept at all, and when i tried to explain it to him i realized it made no sense. I can’t say I feel 100% confident with my hair, but I’m faking it until I make it. My hair is really thriving now, too.
That's funny. I can picture you setting out to educate him and then tripping over yourself as you realize you're making no sense.
REAL
My husband is Italian. He totally dislike wigs and braids. He advised me to keep my natural hair. Wash it 3 to 4 days a week. Keep it moisturized. I'm telling you now I love my natural hair and it's really growing ❤
holy crap. fr me right now. usually did braids and a quick beauty supply wig. but i see how thick my fro is now and i feel so... pretty? like a cloud
No braids? Cause of a non-black man's opinions? Now THAT I do not understand. But do you boo, at the end of the day the only person what you do needs to make sense to is YOU. Not any man, or woman, of any race.
Lots of women wear the same Buss down middle part and side part with the baby hairs and it is so annoying to see a million women with the same look 👀 . It’s crazy that they don’t feel strange with a million twin sisters.
I feel like that’s what they want tho, is to blend in and feel included . For some bw they struggle w being different amongst other black women
A million twin sisters is hilarious. A lot of women mimic the look of women who they see with men they desire to have, and sense it’s really only 20% of the same men women are sleeping/getting pregnant by ,they are really trying to look like their sister wives. 😢
I want to see millions of bw rocking afros again. It is our pretty privilege and separate us from others
I always get smiles and compliments when I wear a afro
Like they came from a factory.
It’s definitely a dysmorphia and mental illness. I used to only wear straight wigs and weaves and when I started my spiritual journey I cut off my hair and wore it in a short natural style and I remember how I terrified I felt to leave the house and do simple things like go grocery shopping. It was crazy! I wore my hair like that until I started feeling comfortable and it took some time. I then got locs and never looked back!
I guess I need to do that
Some cultures in Africa wore wigs I'm not denying that the reasoning but throughtout history wigs were the norm. Now do we have to wear bone straight hair not really but we sometimes put too much power on things. Every race of woman is changing their hair, dying their hair blonde, red, etc, wearing clip ins etc but black women are supposed to refuse things because according to some it's morally wrong. Why is hair a morality choice only for black women?
@@jasminepearls1047 your missing the point. It's really deeper than race to be honest. Basically the point is how enhancements on our physical appearance (black or white) can condition us to think the natural state is not as beautiful. And its not just hair, but lashes, makeup, anything we add to "feel" more beautiful. Black women in particular have been scrutinized for our natural hair so this covo is a little bit more personal to us.
@@jasminepearls1047 Thank You ...this is so well written. I don't wear wigs, weaves, etc. but I admire the ones that can and do. All races wear wigs.... we as a race were criticized about our hair ,our looks and tried so hard to change it anyway we could. so now its a big thing with wigs and weaves because someone has decided to to say we are beautiful as we are and all that mess but we already knew that it was other races and cultures that made us feel differently. There are more "caucasian" women wearing more wigs than we do but we are the only race that's criticized for it. I say do what makes you feel good about yourself and screw what everyone else says and you can still be beautiful.
@@denisejohnson9587 “you can still be beautiful” “do what makes you feel good about yourself” this is really the main point of the video
Honestly I can't take black women seriously when they say wigs or even silk presses are easier than natural hair. I've worn wigs and I used to straighten my hair to death, and my natural hair is way less stressful than both. I needed 30 extra minutes to get ready with a lace front and with straight hair I have to be afraid of water, sweat, rain, humidity, bubbles, shower steam, etc or I was restraightening it all the time to look 'presentable'. With my natural hair, all I gotta do is deal with wash day. Wash day is the only time my hair is time-consuming. The only time I touch my hair between washes is to moisturize my hair and to oil my scalp, which is not much work. I'll never judge a black woman for choosing to wear wigs, weaves, silk presses, etc, but the dishonesty is exhausting.
I thought I was the only one who thought straight styles especially silk presses were more stressful! I love it but I’ve gotten used to not combing and styling my hair daily so it really became a chore for me. I’ve been wearing my hair in variations of twists hairstyles. And why is it so costly for a press? 😔
I’ve been called texturist for saying the same thing! I realized my natural hair was easier than maintaining hair in an unnatural texture (i was hooked to the flat iron). My hair honestly looked horribly frizzy, lol but battle my hair at it’s worst taught me hiw to deal with my mane. Once you master styling your own natural hair, you come up with quick styles and moisturizing routines.
It depends on the style and how well your hair handles being straight. For me, a loose straight style is more manageable than a loose natural style. I've never worn a wig. I put on a shower cap, use an umbrella, tie my hair at night, and use a sweat-wicking headband when I work out regardless of my hair style. When I straighten my hair, the process from washing takes me ~4 hrs, and it lasts 3-4 weeks without me doing anything to it. If I wear a loose natural style, the process from washing usually requires drying overnight to set, and it lasts ~4 days before getting poofy and dry. When my hair is straight, it looks the exact same every day. When I wear a loose natural style, my hair gradually changes every day as it goes from how I set it to being dry/poofy and requires some sort of daily management. I can't predict exactly what my hair is going to be on when I wake up from day to day
I love silk pressing my hair. I feel much better than when I was wearing my Afro. I’m actually retaining length now and that is my honest opinion.
@@Neesha242 I’m not against straight naturals I genuinely think they have their reasons and it’s a preference not every curly girl wants a Fro, for me I’d rather see us wearing OUR straight hair than a euro/Asian straight bundles/wig
this is so true the interactions I receive from wearing my natural hair is so different from when I wear wigs
Sameee I get called Beautiful all day long and the older women adore me I feel like they see themselves when they were younger !
@@gorlunion literal abundance! that's that venusian energy we got:)
@@gorlunion
Yep, I big chopped right around family reunion time. Failed a wash n go and rock a super round fro with some new shades, midriff, overalls and platforms. Looks and stories of nostalgia all day long.
@@gorlunionWe do. Young Ladies you are beautiful. Signed an old Lady complementing our Beautiful Black Young women 🥰🤗 😊
Ily mama 💗💗 here r your flowers 💐 💐💐💗💗
A couple of weeks ago, my sister in law complimented my hair. I have long healthy natural hair. She kept talking about how long and curly it was. I have tighter curls and my hair type is 4a but it appears looser now that it’s longer. My sister in law who has 4c hair said that her hair was very dry and it’s difficult to deal with. I told her no it’s not difficult to deal with, you just need to moisturize and take care of your hair. She asked me how I took care of my hair and I told her my hair routine and products. I wash and condition once a week, detangle, and braid it into 4 braids. I take it down after 5 days and wear it down for two days before rebraiding it on wash day. I also let her know that products don’t make your hair grow. It’s having a consistent routine that helps you grow healthy hair. I also showed her natural hair TH-camrs I follow on TH-cam which helped me learn how to take care of my hair. She told me it’s “ too much work “. My sister in law spends HOURS installing her weave, blow drying and straightening her hair, and braiding her hair with extensions like box braids but taking care of her natural hair is “too much work.” I don’t understand why so many black women think this way. I’m also tired of the self deprecating videos on Tiktok.
Bc we all have different hair and textures sometime it is too much to deal with atm. My style would work & stay with certain products & keeping it healthy. Now it will not stay no matter the routine treatment or products. And if I hv an invite to a wedding for next week or month I’m not going to test it by wearing my natural hair but not sure what my hair’ll look like by the end of the night. 😢 I wish I could still wear my hair with confidence as I did when I was younger.
omg you commented this on another video…..
@@commandery3574 Is that not allowed?
I think there's different views on what's considered "work" and how much is "too much". She might think it's too much work for the result she expects when doing her natural hair.
For example I have short 4z hair, and 30 minutes of styling it might get me a slick back crackhead bun at most. And by "slick" I mean with a couple stray away hairs because I still have yet to find a gel/pomade/edge control that actually holds my hair texture down (without heat treatment).
Whereas 30 minutes with a lace front, you get obviously different results in a shorter time frame.
Just offering a different perspective.
Looser hair textures are much easier to style. Length, texture, all that comes into play. Black women need to start embracing their natural hair but I'd be lying if I said I couldn't understand why they go for the synthetic styles. More options with the same, or less, amount of work.
I think she doesn’t have hope that it’ll look nice honestly, she doesn’t like her hair texture bc of society standards and she doesn’t want to do it
I don’t mind the wigs , but to the point of destroying and neglecting our natural hair for the sake of a wig/weave. That’s OD !! Thank goodness that’s not me anymore.
Right, if it was a matter of really wanting a dif style than okay but wearing wigs back to back and never caring for your hair is not normal
This the one for me. Bfre i stopped 100% i started wearing yaki straight, bcz i ws like if imma wear it imma at least do my texture..eventually i gave up on it all
@@touche5029afro straight is more textured than yaki but I like yaki to
@@touche5029 Good for you girl , weave free. I am too besides braids . If I do get a weave it’s going to be in the fall/winter AND it’s going to be closest to my texture .
@@butterflygirl01 is Afro straight the same as Kinky straight ?
i knew it became a problem for me when i tried everything I could to make my wigs look like it was all scalp . why am i trying to make somebody hair that’s not mine look like it’s coming out my scalp?? haven’t worn a wig in 4 years since i had those thoughts
Been there! Then I’m mad at a wig for being a wig
this is such an interesting perspective, i never thought about this!
I'm a licensed stylist. 1st off confidence is key no matter what you wear. When you wear confidence,the rest will follow.Healthy hair is beautiful hair. These lacefront/wigs/ pieces were originally made for special occasions, theater, TV and people who lost their hair to medical reasons. I try to instill in my clients that no matter what,you have to love yourself first,everything else is an additive.
Apparently wearing twists/braids/locs with synthetic hair is bad for us too 😢😢😢 there are chemicals and a bunch of stuff synthetic hair is made out of that can cause hair loss itchy scalp etc.. so i stop wearing faux locs :’(
Wash it
@@lovedrakexxYou can wash away the chemicals. That’s like trying to wash away the plastic from a plastic bowl. The chemicals leak into your scalp because that’s what it’s made from
Apple cider vinegar with the mother.
If you're allergic wear your real hair 🤣
@@Beanieboom that's the entire point of the comment
It's more than acv. It's actually the polymers of the synthetic hair and their reaction to uv light. It's how you are told not to heat plastic.
I think we should wear our hair regardless of our confidence. Because even though other groups wear fake hair too it mostly matches their texture. Silk on silk.
It’s okay to have straight styles but make it kinky! Even our silky straightened hair doesn’t look the same as other groups silky hair and I think because so many of us never wear our actual hair or just wear it for a bit and wear other textures it’s caused insecurity in us and adds to unspoken inferior complexes we have and all of other races have about us. We’re still trying to appeal to a world that has always wanted us to feel inferior and still does. We have to take control
Well said 💯
Afro straight look closest to a silk press
Yaki looks like relaxed hair
they’re way too itchy and by day 4 it looks lifted. i’ve been rocking my natural for months and loving it
Very itchy ugh 😩 day 4 !! Lucky day 2 mines lift 😂
The natural hair movement is back in full force! I went natural almost 20 years ago and had to stop relaxing when I realized that I had never seen my natural texture. White supremacy has really done a number on but selflove helps to wipe those all away. I'm so proud of this generation of Black women for coming to this realization. You're doing amazing work here! 👏🏾
The process of getting a lace front on is like a humiliation ritual atp🤣🤣🤣 My hair is too beautiful for all that 😂
Can we also clock the rude & disgusting treatment we get at the Korean stores or ordering hair online as if we’re inconveniencing them! It’s been such a relief to not have to go in their establishments as much since I wear my hair natural. Almost all ethnic hair care products can be found at Target or Walmart or Sally’s and the treatment is night & day. I started to get a lot of anxiety & feel disgusted when I had to go into the beauty supply stores and give them my money knowing they couldn’t STAND me! But I will say thankfully I’ve seen the slow decline with us coming into their stores and I’m here for it! In my area we have a lot of beauty supply stores ran by Africans & they are also pretty nice. It’s time we stand up 👏🏾
Same treatment we get from nail salons. I had one of the worst experiences at a nail salon where they were obviously making fun of my boyfriend and I while staring and laughing at us. Safe to say I won’t ever go to another salon that is Asian owned.
I noticed when I go in there for other products (gloss, lotion, combs, whatever else) they almost get offended that I don’t need it… and pls ladies don’t ask for their recommendations. They will sell you a crazy ass wig lmao.
I hate that black women learn to hate their hair. Our hair is so unique and beautiful. We need to give ourselves and other black women more grace.
Preach I stopped wearing wigs, and fake braiding/fauxlocs hair, and now I’m 100% Natural and loc’d❤️ These wigs is WAYY more maintenance, and expensive then being natural. Its a cop out excuse cause they wanna look like a “baddie”.. It’s definitely a mental thing when you feel beautiful and confident wearing the REAL hair of other ethnic women… I watched a documentary on how black women get their hair… these ethnic women cut their hair and sacrifice it to their gods, and send it over to us… most of these women are poor and don’t even want to cut their hair , but have to to pay bills and feed their family. It’s truly sad. And I want no parts in that ‼️ Thanks for bringing this out, those who got understanding will agree ❤
Do u have a link to the documentary
@@gorlunion th-cam.com/video/DKvovCgc6IU/w-d-xo.htmlsi=fxK7DLJzUQHrrUSP
I think she’s referring to Chris Rock’s documentary “Good Hair”
@@Beautiful_Jay thx boo
Also…. Wigs are not meant for everyday wear. Theyre for special events and performance.
Lace fronts were created for actors, actresses, and the stage. Oh yeah, and for drag queens and those who suffer from hair loss. Not for women with a perfectly good head of hair who thinks their hair is some kind of handicap. Hair dysmorphia is real.
No ma'am. You can make your hair elegant and professional for any occasion. What you're saying is your natural hair isn't good enough. That's a lie.
@@Shrimpterahuh? Lol! I said wigs are not meant for everyday wear (lace front). Was this comment meant for me?
@@Shrimptera I in no way implied that natural hair wasn’t good enough for special occasions. I explained that wigs aren’t made for us to wear every day, but for occasions and the stage IF YOU SO CHOOSE. Please don’t be obtuse, girl.
@@apmg924Again, if you think you need a wig for a special event/performance, you're implying your hair isn't good enough. Imo
“Why is your hair one texture in the front and the extension is straight!” “That’s silly!!!” 😂😂😂😂
😂😂😭😂
My natural hair is multiple textures…
All natural hair is multiple textures.. doesn't change the fact that extensions should be the closest match you can get to the main texture of your hair- thats what makes it not look like weave.
Nobody should be walking around with yaki roots and a body wave ponytail.. looking silly! 😂🤣
This is such a truth that a LOT of black women don't like to hear and will argue you down. Glad to see that there are others who also agree about the weave issue we have in our community. Thanks for speaking up and clocking it!
Wigs are literally head coverings. And a lot of different cultures and religions wear head coverings for spiritual protection, modesty and to display their dedication to God to the world. And these wigs also send a message. It sends a one of insecurity, low self esteem and the glorification of the look of another group of people. The dedication to these wigs and loose hair extensions is almost religious. But instead of dedication to a higher power it’s to the approval of broken men and to social validation.
And I don’t by any means think that is an extreme comparison I mean look at the way these “influencers” who get the guy are praised, defended and emulated. Society has created a faux scarcity of good men and now use women’s innate drive to mate against us. The competitiveness is ridiculous. The vast majority of us are looking for one man and I promise you that it’s possible to find a good man who will love you in your natural state. Take a step back to heal and you’ll realize that being loved, accepted and appreciated does not warrant all of this.
We hate our hair so much that we’re willing to take hair from other communities (Pérou, Brazil).
Those hairs have been sacrificed to demons and y’all putting them on ur head. That’s other people bad spirits ur willingly wearing
And rich men don’t like natural hair unless it’s long. You have to look a certain way for them to accept you
@@NyllaRaeethere are plenty of rich men with women that have short hair..And most people aren’t coming across rich people and actually dating them, so I’m super confused on why you are worried about what rich men like and how that relates to people wearing wigs
Exactly don’t understand why people care so much about she other people do to their head. If you want to be natural then that’s your choice but stop tryna shame ppl from it. Everyone dosent like their natural hair … and that’s okay.
I'm white and relate to this so much ....like your sister I use my hair as just a base ....I don't leave my house without a wig...ponytail ...vpart wig....clip in extensions or a wig topper....if I look I the mirror with my real hair it's foreign to me.....lord Jesus please help me love myself...in Jesus name amen
God bless you my sister for your honesty. Praying for us both.
@theloveofgodministriesinba3524 thank you ...God is so good
Amen!
I have never worn a wig, but I’ve been calling black women’s complex with their hair “hair dysmorphia” for years. If you aren’t use to seeing your own hair texture fit with your face, and body you will reject it. It will never look “right” to you.
I can agree I began to feel stupid for wearing wigs, it did damage my hairline it took months to grow back! wearing wigs made me feel embarrassed to wear others ppl hair and it Carry’s the energy of who head it came off of . It changes your image of yourself. I am now loc’d for a year now. And I love the stages it took me through.. it made me pay attention to my natural beauty, grow confidence in myself! And made me no longer care what ppl see but what I feel 💯💯 love this video
I’m so glad I’m seeing more videos like this. Even if i don’t necessarily agree with every point, IT NEEDS TO BE SAID, IDC! It’s actually embarrassing atp. We all know why bw have been pushed to wear textures that aren’t theirs and it’s not our fault; but it is our responsibility! We have to bring younger women into this world and how silly is it if we don’t set the foundation for them?!?!? Why are babies getting wigs laid?!?!? Why are teenagers feeling like they need lacefronts in hs and middle school?? It’s becoming generational just like perms. Very disheartening. The more we all wear our natural hair, the more normal it’ll be. But they’ve convinced themselves purchasing a $800 unit, plucking it, customizing it, and re applying it every 2 business days is easier than detangling and styling their own hair once a week. As someone with the tightest coil pattern, I’m tired of them pretending it’s rocket science. This is why it’s taken so long to get products and weaves that cater to us. Those companies aren’t making 4c extensions bc they know they won’t sell! They’re not making products with us as the target audience bc not enough of us have educated ourselves on our own texture to even KNOW what it is that we need in a product! We need to get it together
You really got me thinking wearing wigs is fckn embarrassing 😂😂😂 and it’s not like I don’t have hair, my hair is thick full and past my shoulders. I think I’m just brainwashed. I stopped wearing laces and started doing v parts. I’m slowly working my way to being fully natural. Dang this video was good lol
Girl that’s the way it hit me too I was like girl are u 70 yrs old?? A wig?! 😭 I’m tryna give up lashes next although I’m not as pressed I jus wanna be free !
@@gorlunionThe lashes look just as silly as the wigs. Fake hair on your eyelids.
@@MyAccountForCommentingdon’t start. Every race wears lashes and white women stay getting lash extensions
Everybody lashes is straight also
Completely different topic..
@@butterflygirl01I'm responding to the person above me who brought up the topic of false lashes. Your comment is misdirected.
Yes I am I hair stylist and I am constantly explaining that these styles they are wanting come with a lot of consequences. We can only do it as safely as we can. I am forever encouraging styling the natural hair
A lot of videos like this have been coming up in my feed. It feels like this natural hair movement reboot where we're unpacking a lot of the internal blocks that tripped many of us up in the last cycle, and I'm so here for it! I've been natural for well over 20 years and it wasn't always easy. Not because it's inherently harder to care for, but because there is a higher learning curve to figuring out how to style and care for type 4 hair when you spent so long trying to make it something it's not. I'm glad that there are women willing to put in the work to normalize wearing what grows naturally out of our heads. My hope is the generation behind us have a future version of themselves to look at that doesn't make them feel like they have to contort themselves into another person's aesthetic in order to be beautiful. It's the reason I didn't give up during those times when I was on the struggle bus an had no idea what I was doing. I struggled with my hair so that hopefully the black girls thirty years from now don't have to.
I remember the hair videos that were popular during quarantine- women on the verge of tears on the bathroom floor because they didn't know what to do with their natural hair and couldn't get a silk press or laid wig at the salon because everything was closed. 🙁
Real talk how we kno how to work other women hair and not our own?? That’s crazy work
I made myself a good old flaxseed gel with Jamaican castor oil and put my hair in mini twists for the pandemic. The growth i ended up with, hair down to my tidis. Washed my hair in those twists and re-twisted when needed.
There are some Black women that equate wearing natural hair to “being broke” I’ve heard that way too much also. “She’s natural because she’s broke” unlearn this smh!
THIS! I was beefing with a girl and she used my hair as an insult, saying she don’t argue with broke bitches who can only afford to wear nappy hair. It’s crazy because we’re still in high school, why would I need a glamorous 30 inch body wave lace front every day?? My hair is under boob length, to my shoulders when shrunken which is usually how I wear it, and it’s like a reddish sandy brown. I’m brown skin and my hair complements my skin tone so well, why wouldn’t I want to wear it and let the whole world see it everyday? Plus I’m not broke, my parents and I just bought me my first car in cash, and I have money put aside for school. And my family takes vacations twice a year. That is not broke at ALL. I just prefer my natural hair because it is so beautiful on me, I feel most confident in it, it’s healthy, and I never had any problems getting compliments or attention from guys with my “nappy” hair
Love seeing black women embrace their natural hair more! Too many black women rely on wigs & neglect/ hide their natural hair!
I completely agree with you. I am 55 years old and didn’t start wearing my natural hair until the age of 40. I did a big chop and immediately felt ugly. I cried a lot and didn’t have a lot of support from the black community. Honestly, it took me a year to become comfortable and learn how to manage/love my own hair. Now I keep my hair mostly at bra strap length, but I have had setbacks - cut it, then grew it back. It’s just a matter of getting through that first period of learning your hair which gives you confidence in the end.
I’m 26 and have permanent damage to my edges from my mom constantly braiding my hair too tight. It’s called traction Alopecia. My edges aren’t bad at all. I can wear ponytails etc. plus I was the only cousin (out of 10) that was dark skin with 4b-c hair. My cousin would constantly get compliments about their hair texture. My hatred for my hair start so young. Now that I’m older I loveeeee my complexion. But some days I gain frustration with natural hair. Maybe bc I just did a big chop and truly learning my hair and what she loves
I watched black women en masse get inspired to get big chops and grow out their perms and start using hair products for natural hair and learn their curl patterns and learn to do twist outs and TWAs, etc. Then, I watched black women discover lace-front wigs and all that natural stuff went out the window. Remember when Nene made fun of Kim for wearing a wig on RHOA? Not that long ago, it was weird to wear a wig. I feel bad that this happened. I agree that an afro is the easiest style. Anyone whose easiest style is also their most flattering style is very lucky.
This is the exact reason why I stopped. The fact that I thought me being with my natural hair was “weird” in itself was sad and crazy as I got so used to wearing wigs everyday for 8 years. Im 26 years old now and im so happy with my own hair and hairline. Plus it seemed too “theatrical”.
So you hid your hair and let it grow for 8 years and now you’re comfortable with it and shaming women who aren’t comfortable with theirs yet. Got it…
@@loralita5837 and you just jumped into conclusions because why? Exactly; I hide and neglected my hair. Didn’t take care of it either because I had my wigs to worry about. Stop being pessimistic. It says more about you instead
I’m the only black girl at most of my jobs and that was enough reason for me to stop. I hated the feeling of people staring at my lace😅.
I’ve moved to using kinky crochet on my hair and they last for a month but in October I’ll be switching over to microlocs my friend has them and she’s been so comfortable in her hair and I love that.
Girl I agree. I used to not know how to properly take care of my hair and define the curls but once I got a bit older in my 20s I finally mastered my hair and what it likes so now my hair thrives, grows, and the curls are immaculate. And yes, I also wear hair pieces that resemble and mimic my own natural curl pattern (3c/4a).
As u should ! I’m right behind u Sis I’m not staying in bondage
Well you also have a curl pattern that is deemed more presentable in societal standards.
@@zaire-aniyarobinson2928 I don’t care what society thinks of my hair type. All that matters is what I think and I even still get a few stares every now and then when I go out in public or in the stores with my big curly hair out but I keep my head up and keep it moving. I’ve been much happier when I stopped caring about what people thought of my hair, good or bad.
I love how you pointed out how wigs are very heavy in the south. I feel like I want to give a stab at why that is but I may not have all the right data, words, and facts. But deep down I think I know why. I was born and raised in South Georgia. I recently moved to the Bay Area. Now I either see braids or natural hairstyles. Complete opposite from the south. Very interesting.
I'm from the Midwest and just visited the south. Nobody's where wigs as much as Midwest (Illinois, Ohio, Indiana, Michigan)
@@CerseiLannister999 wow really? I’ve never been out that way. I’m in the Bay Area now and I see braids and natural hair on black women, hardly buss down wigs. If anything, I seen an older black woman with a wig but I don’t think that counts much in this case. In the south, complete opposite.
My guess is that we aren’t as progressive as other regions in the states bc the south was the most racist so maybe we’re the most insecure? What u think 🤔?
@@gorlunion ding ding 🛎️!! I think that’s right along the lines I was thinking. Definitely not as progressive and still lots of deeeeeeep self hatred. Especially in the rural areas where I’m from. You won’t catch a lot of black girls where I’m from rocking their natural hair unless they have a looser curl pattern or simple mixed race 🌚 And all the girls I know that have locs, wear wigs until their locs are mature and even then it’s still wig after wig constantly over the locs 😬
@@MissFaevyn I hate that for us. This stuff is generational and the south is so behind on so many things
You’re so right about the hairline!!! I can tell when somebody’s been wearing a wig a lot! It’s receding their hairlines!!!!!
My whole life changed when I truly came to Christ, and I started to love myself truly because I understand that he lives within me. The beauty he allowed me to see in myself is greater than anything I could possibly buy from the store. I love the fact that you brought this to the table!❤
99% of the wigs that I see on ppl look very unnatural and strange 😬🫢
I swearrrr you’re on to something!!!! I stopped wearing “torture helmets” cause it’s not ME and it’s not healthy!
Girl I just love how serious but funny , irritated yet passionate you are 😂😂 most people can’t hold my attention for too long but every single word you said hit !!! 💜
THIS! Perfect and well said...but I'm a bit sad watching this video because the people who really need to hear this, won't watch it.
You’re so right because I hate seeing yt women wear black women styles and how can we contradict them when they see us wearing their styles.
I get what u saying but those wigs come from Asian. How do they now own Asian ppl hair and straight hair at that? Yts aren’t the only ppl with straight hair and the only reason yt women get told off for it is because they’re the same ones that enforced no natural hair in the workplace and discriminated against locs and braids
Not the same thing
‘Baby that you, that’s YOUUUU!!!’…
I felt that ❤
I have often thought the same thing about the ladies wearing the wigs and weaves. I've been natural since 2008. I'm at the point where I feel black women highly exalt unnatural beauty standards and the wearing of "other people's hair". That's why I stopped wearing full face make-up. You just get used to that aesthetic over a period of time and cannot see yourself without it 🤷🏾♀️...
Black women don't feel if there was a point in your life where you hated your natural hair or was addicted to nails and weave. It is not your fault. As a black woman myself, we have been trained to hate ourselves going back to slavery days.
Preach mami
And it’s been accepted and normalized.
What’s common is not normal or healthy
It’s so STRANGE that that’s our culture it’s crazy!!
I love this video! I freed my self four years ago and I will never go back. The more I love my hair, the longer my hair grows. We need to start loving ourselves. Thank you for sharing. By the way, you are beautiful!🩷🩷🩷🩷
About 3 years ago, I was diagnosed with scarring alopecia in the front of my head. Years of wearing locs snatched about a 1/3 of my scalp slappy bald. My dermatologist told me that I needed to cut my locs or risk permanent hair loss. I cut them and wore a short afro. I get so many looks and compliments - even more so than I had with waist length locs....and I'm still nearly George Jefferson bald on top!!
I love this conversation sooo much! I just started my length retention journey. I haven’t worn anything but kinky straight in a while (my profile pic is old) but it was a u part wig or clip ins to match more but then I started getting damage on my leave out. I’m just over it, I want to grow my own natural hair. My hair texture is 4B and beautiful. I’m learning now that the only reason it wasn’t growing is because I was manipulating it too much and I wasn’t moisturizing it. Black hair is beautiful, we just gotta do a better job of caring for our hair. I’m excited to see where I am a year from now ❤ great video!
I just saw ppl on TikTok talking about hair Dysmorphia after where a wig, they fault like wear braids made them look ugly
And they wanted to wear more wigs
New subscriber!! You just took the words out of my mouth. I get wayyyy more compliments with my real hair than with any wig!
Same! I can’t explain it either I personally FEEL more angelic w my coils out and ppl jus think I’m magical
Love my fro, but my hair is long now, so achieving and maintaining it is WAY more work than just putting it in two braids for a week. (Way less tangles too.)
Also maybe love your natural lashes too.
That lip combo is fire! Good point about matching outfits to hair.
U kno what’s crazy? Most black girls can’t even relate to that really long thick hair struggle bc theyre* stuck at shoulder length. So I feel like makes it seem like we’re even lazier bc u wear ur hair and it’s more work yet ppl with ear length claim they can’t handle 5 inches of hair
@@gorlunionlmaooo not 5 inches of hair that reminds me of some of my cousins😭😭their hair was beautiful when we were little so it’s not like it doesn’t grow
I cant wear a wig for more than a few hours cuz it lowkey drives me crazy that it's not actually my hair
I enjoyed this whole black hair analysis!! It was fun, straight to the point and witty!! Plus more!! Thank you for this video!🤎✨
Everything you're saying is sooo true!!! You hit it BANG ON! I love my afro sooo much! I will never EVER do anything to damage it!!
It's denial. And i don't know how to snap us out of it
We start with ourselves and shine our light being natural,
so others can become more comfortable with seeing their natural hair on others.
Sad to say most people are followers and not leaders.
So it's really up to the leaders to break the barriers and then everyone else will follow.
@@LakeishaLifestyle all facts, and some jus gon b lost bc they don’t have courage
You ate and left no crumbs! A+ analysis-real and raw, respectfully!!
I love the fact that you know who you are ! Salute from a Ghanaian sister from Germany, re-transitioning to her true self and identity ❤ big ups love
It's really nice to hear someone from the lifestyle speak up about it. I've always been a natural hair girly and when I speak up about how it does more harm than good, its not economical, and it's not a real protective style, people get made. I like how you pointed out how it's really not necessarily a low-maintenance style that people who hate their hair try to claim. Also, it only looks good for a few days, and it's not worth the money and process people go through.
I also think it may be whatever is trending, I notice a lot of high schoolers and young women wearing either the middle part buss down wig or the micro box braids with the curly/wavy add ons… I think if majority of women started to wear afros then that would be the next style
Thank you for this confirmation. You did not miss and delivery on point 😊 x
I love your perspective in this video! This is a conversation that I had with myself a few years ago. I was the type of girl that wouldn’t leave the house with out lashes/makeup and a wig. It took me a while to realize that I was uncomfortable in my own skin and my self confidence was depleted. I did not like that so I made some changes. I stopped wearing wigs, makeup, lashes… the whole 9. I loc’d my hair and I worked on clearing my acne and improving my overall physical health. When I tell you that has been the best thing I could have ever done for myself. Flaws and all I’ve never been more confident in my own skin. I still do my hair (locs) but like you said I’ve learned to style it to compliment my personality and fit my lifestyle. I love my natural hair 🥰💗
Preach sissss! Omg I went on a natural and spiritual journey last year October and told myself I wouldn’t wear a wig again until I am 100% confident within myself. I have gotten braids twice within these 8 months and silk presses 3 times and when I tell you bay bay …hair dysmorphia is REAL. I moved to Atlanta 3 1/2 years ago and saw all the “popular” women wearing wigs and getting their hair done 1-2 weeks. I thought I should be apart of the band wagon too. I never wore a lace front in my life always wore my hair whether I added pieces or not. I changed who I was to receive a certain attention and approval that I didn’t need. Lost my edges, lost friends, and lost confidence in myself along the way. It’s been a rough journey but I am embracing every moment of me being able to actually feel my own scalp everyday and not wearing that brown wig cap with super glue on it to lay down some “foreign” hair chile. Thanks for this video I needed you today sis! We ALL do! 🤍🤍🗣️
Fav comment. This is so real. It started in elementary school for me girl. I only had 3 or 4 wigs and it’s still something that be in the back of my head like dang should I get a install?? And recently this older black lady publicly made a comment abt my fro so I slicked my hair into a bun 🙄 I got insecure, idk. I feel like I’m back at square one. But ima make a vid abt that cuz black women be our biggest opps !
I am soooo proud of this video! I love my beautiful sisters we have the most beautiful versatile hair on the planet. 💞💞💞
Girl talking facts, so good to hear someone else articulate your thought, especially someone so young. Kudos to you my sister 💪🏾🔥
Im so happy with this wave of videos are coming om my timeline!!!
it wasnt until i stopped wearing the wigs and started taking care of my hair and finding what worked for me that i finally prefered wearing my own hair and now it’s growing so long. I kinda look back and cringe at all the bad wigs and stress of wearing someone else’s hair on top of mine. It’s crazy, i hope black women can find peace away from the wigs and weaves as i did. I don’t have to worry about blending lace or baby hairs or helmet hair or night caps. Our natural hair can do a lot if you nurture and work with it
I’ve seen a lot of videos on this topic but girl you ate! What you said about girls trying to humiliate themselves online really hit the nail. I also appreciated you coining “hair dysmorphia” 😂
I wore clip-in extensions blended with my natural hair for a month and a half. When it was time to take them out, I felt so ugly without them. Wearing full-face makeup can have a similar effect. I had to ease up on them.
I also think a lot of Black women don't like wearing their natural hair because it makes them look younger than what they are. And that can be annoying especially if you've been mistaken for a teen, approached by teen boys or even working in higher positions and people not taking you seriously. So I can understand both perspectives.
Definitely understand that!! No one can deny that point !
Thank you for making this video !!! I shaved my head a year ago. I rocked the bald and beautiful look for a while and now I’m on my hair growth journey with my twa ! I’m falling back in love with my hair again experimenting with different styles and colors. There’s so much freedom in loving your natural self. 💜
Yes ma'am! Reenforcing you look good and are 100% baddie with your natural texture out absolutely is mental health self-care.
This is beautiful coverage of such a sensitive topic❤
Wearing the fro is so freeing. Literally get compliments on it daily. No effort. I don’t understand what people are talking about when they think natural hair is ugly. It’s beautiful and powerful.
You have said so much and it touched on so many levels. Yes
The beauty industry in general has us in a chokehold…I used to wake up 2 hours to get ready until I realized I’d sucked the fun and the creativity out of beauty routines. I was doing the most because subconsciously I felt I had to. A switch up is okay! But a dependency…now that has to be closely examined. Because fr why?
It’s crazy I got this video on my TL while I was debating if I should wear my Afro for a flight I got this week, I was kind of chickening out because last time I did wear my Afro I didn’t feel confident.
Girl the first time I wore mine I was so scared but I got more compliments than I ever did and I was worried about my edges flaking or nun bc I didn’t lay them .. it was PEACEFUL so lightweight !
I love this! It’s so true. We have beauty that is unique and timeless too. People are getting rich off of our insecurities. Self love is the best love.
love this video 💕 it wasn’t until i went natural when i realized everyone is wearing a wig especially on Instagram when you think about it. Ever since i went natural i feel like the prettiest i ever been 🦋 it’s amazing healing experience falling in love with your hair ! It’s crazy because I love my 3c curls wayyy more then a buss down
"Whats up underneath that?" Has me SCREECHINGG! 😂🤣
This was a really interesting video. Thank you girlie!!
Yesss on that dressing side too I definitely agree with you on that as well
Thank you for this. ❤ I started microlocs 3 months ago. I may still wear other styles from time to time but my head needs to just be on its own before its all gone.
You go girl 👏🏽 🫶🏽 I love that I'm seeing more and more women talk about this. A conversation our community needs. Its long overdue. And for those that don't understand. Its okay maybe this conversation is not for you.
Afro puff is my go-to style.
Yess! I love a sloppy puff or a wild frizzy pineapple!
I love this video🙌🏾 I don’t have type 4 hair but even with type 3 hair I used to wish it was straight as a kid. I had to unlearn my internalized anti-blackness and I’m glad I did because my hair was fried trying to keep it straight 24/7. As black women, I really want for us to embrace and love all of our features, especially the “undesirable” ones.
I love you DEARLY!! You kept it real the entire video!!! So many black women don't want to hear this because social media is telling them otherwise. Weave is not cute at all to me. When I look back at my old pictures, I would say to myself, girl that 30' middle part blonde buss down don't even compliment your melanin! Like what are you doing?.. Weave really took away my natural aesthetic. Now, I wear my natural hair all year round. I even named my fro Lol. More black women need to watch this video. Ditch the wigs and wear your natural hair.You'll feel so beautiful and confident!
I appreciate you sis and I enjoyed watching your video ❤️💯👏🏾
I had really bad hair delusion. I have 3c/4a hair and would straighten it or wear weave. For the 18 months I’ve had a curly pixie with my natural hair and this is the most flattering style I have worn! Sometimes I straighten it for a cute little bob look but apart from that I’m a curly pixie girl!
u ate this topic
Ty mama 💗💗
I just clicked on the vid but with the title you got a new sub
Hey sis 💗💗💗✊🏾
yes ma’am same
@@SeekAfterGod hiiii ily💗💗
@@gorlunion God bless you dear one. 💜💖
Thank you for sharing your story sis. ❤
Your content is refreshing and inspiring💯 new subbie here