Girl goes viral crying that she can't style her natural hair. here's the solution.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 มิ.ย. 2024
- girl goes viral on TikTok for crying that she can't do her natural hair.
Here are some short natural hair hairstyles without gel or extensions.
oh my gosh your hair looks so effortlessly slicked back with no obvious residue could you tell me how you did that I'm dying to know
Aaaw thank you 😊 I could make a video, there's no residue because there's no gel, just water. And yes your 4c can.
@@tintamanenguooh please drop a video!
So much mention of white beauty standards in the comments. That’s such a dishonest take of why many black women are dissatisfied with their natural hair. Black beauty standards exclude 4c hair. Short hair. Coarse hair. I work with white women. The only time I feel self conscious about my hair is when in black social spaces. From family asking me if I was still natural, to feeling out of place amongst a sea of wigs. Natural hair is not celebrated in mainstream black culture
I know this to be true as well, sometimes it's our very own ppl.
Thank you! White beauty standards are at the root of this problem, but they have become a cheap cop out. I have long natural hair and I wear it out sometimes, but those are the only times that most black people compliment me on it.
People ask me when I'm going to "do" my hair (braids, extensions, etc), they ask me why I wear Scarves sometimes, and demand for me to wear my hair out a certain way every day. They don't know how damaging some of those styles can be. I think people just want to live vicariously through whatever long hair person they know, when most of them aren't even acquainted with their own hair that looks just like mine. How could my hair have grown to this point if I hadn't accepted and figured it out in the first place?
When my hair was in a twa for one or two straight years, I never felt that anyone liked or desired it. Then all of a sudden, people started "wishing" their hair was like mine, even though they were literally there when it was shorter than theirs. If it's 4c, and it's not long, most people simply don't want to see it. I could talk so much more but I've already done enough.
@@adolescentbird honey, the first time going to a salon to straighten my hair after 12 years was for this past NYE. The stylist was some young girl I found off instagram. I told her hey I’m tender headed and haven’t straightened my hair in a long time be gentle. She said of course then goes on to ask me if I have 4c hair. After I said no, she proceeds to shit talk about women with 4c and how unmanageable it is. Then as she’s rinsing my hair over the sink she’s like oh you don’t have 4c hair your hair is nice. I’m in disbelief because one, my hair is 4b. Ain’t that much different. Two, you’re a black woman with black female clients. You’re more likely to encounter type 4 hair. To be so comfortable with disrespecting our hair is scary.
@@imParisthoee omg I can't imagine how you felt since you couldn't get out of the situation. I just pray black people across the world gain love and understanding of who God made them to be.
It’s because we are upholding white beauty standards. Black people practice white supremacy too.
You don’t need to stretch, braid, twist your hair all the time. Learn to rock it in its natural state. Spray it with water and put a leave in to wear it as an afro- no matter the length. It’ll shrink but learn to embrace it. Pat it down, use your fingers, love it. It’s so easy.
Yes!!! An afro is a hairstyle too. A gorgeous one at that.
💯
Agreed
The hair, if let in an afro state every day, this can lead to hair dryness
@@KK12612 what’s the difference of experiencing dryness by adding fake hair, constant twists/braid outs and an afro? It’s all the same except one is fully embracing your hair out with little to no manipulation.
That’s why you spray with water and put a leave-in as mentioned in my comment. The only way to properly hydrate your hair is by using water aka wash day.
Not even women of other cultures try to do their hair in 30min most times. They have whole routines. The same way we study how to install wigs and protective styles, we have to study our natural hair. It’s sad that we don’t get to see our beauty reflected in society as much but it is definitely here online!
❤️💚
Lets be so for real right now.... Any texture 4a and below could just put there hair in a ponytail with ease in 5 min and walk out the door. In fact many women with straight or loose curls just walk out the door with their hair wet. 4c hair has MASSIVE shrinkage making it alot more difficult to do styles. They can wear there hair as fros but many women don't like that style with short hair (which is why they wear braids, twists wigs etc)
Exactly!
Im 4c and I can put my hair in a ponytail (well a puff) in 5 minutes. Im tired of the victimhood
@@veronicahaney6005 A ponytail is different than a puff. Also she started the video not having a strategy. She definitely could’ve just put a wig on since her tiktok shows that’s what she usually wears.
This is evidence that natural hair channels need to do more than show wash and goes and twist/braid outs.
I recently found "Glory Okings" channel. Many of her styles are easy, don't require long hair, and don't require extensions.
I also found several channels from about 8 years ago where the creators actually showed creative ways to style hair.
I love love love Glory Oking. And thanks for sharing this.
There were plenty of natural hair channels for girls with that hair texture doing more, but they were ignored by girls with that hair texture for the girls who could wake up in the morning and shake their head and everything is fine. It's not sustainable to be on TH-cam making videos daily to get 13 views and 25 subscribes.
@@mexme-me-2 I noticed that when I searched. I'm glad some of them kept their videos public. I appreciate it, but I can imagine they didn't feel appreciated. It sucks because they created styles that anyone can do - regardless of curl diameter or density.
I love her❤
She’s at the top of my list when it comes to natural hair girls.
The biggest thing about going natural, especially for my 4c hair girls, is to accept how it looks in its natural state. The over manipulation absolutely kills 4c hair. The best thing is to rock it in its Afro state, pick it out or sponge it. When it gets long enough, learn to do a proper wash and go. Yes, we 4c girls can have our wash and gos too. HOWEVER, if you’re thinking it’ll look like the 3c girlies wash and gos, you will be disappointed. Our hair is kinky, not curly. The key is ACCEPT THE TEXTURE! It’s beautiful but it’s different and we have been taught that it’s ugly. It’s not ugly sis. Your hair is unique and it will not conform to the social norm ok? The key to 4c hair is to accept and release how you think it should look. God blessed us with such unique hair. Don’t hate it, learn it and embrace it. If all else fails, big chopped hair grown out for 5-6 months is the perfect length to start some baby locs or sisterlocks. Scarves also look nice on us. Can’t figure out how to make the scarf look fashionable? They have pre tied scarves. We have options sis. With so much love…..Aunty ❤❤❤❤
Thank you for sharing, we do have options
Thank you. I have short/awkward length hair and i struggle styling it most times 😢
It’s not “different” either lol. I’m confused why you said that but I was agreeing up until.
@@ayethebeatgooff I think they mean different in the sense that "straight hair" (or "white hair") has been promoted for so long. For decades it's been expected for black women to straighten their hair or put it in styles that hide their curls or wear wigs, in that sense, curly hair can be seen as "different" 😅
Although natural hair is becoming more and more popular and we're seeing people rock their curls way more often now. So I understand what you mean to
@@meg-w9ywhen my hair was short I was already doing wash and gos! Try it! ❤
Im so glad the women at her work supported her and told her she looked like a model 😢 we're our own biggest critics. i can relate to the feeling of being frustrated and feeling prettier with braids or weave before it got longer and i figured out how to style it.
It's really a horrible feeling
I've always felt most non black people find our hair to be beautiful and its been a black person that told them it was ugly, so they keep deferring to that. They are proof of my theory. I've worn my natural hair a few times and usually I am asked why don't I wear it more often.
@@beprettylife yessss! sometimes i would go into work feeling insecure about my hair and my white manager tells me "your natural hair is so beautiful i love it" and it almost makes me want to cry after 20 something years of having a love hate relationship with my hair. but i feel the same way when i see other natural girls wearing their hair out like i want to see more
She is thinking in straight hair, trying to lay it down when it's not meant to lay. It's quite sad.
I felt like her hair looked fine. She’s self conscious because it’s short but honestly, the simple messy bun makes her look more approachable and feminine than any bust down shiny weave.
Her hair is beautiful ❤️
Please stop talking about women as if we are objects. A woman can wear her hair however she wants. It doesn’t make her any less or more “approachable” not that that even matters because no one cares or asked. Y’all continue holding women’s existence to be centered around you and your opinions of us.
Ong just for that. I'll keep on wearing vivid colors. So ppl think im a poisonous plant@@ayethebeatgooff
@@BebeDFairy Then you'll wonder why you're still single at 35.
@@JosephineEze79Oh no… how will she ever manage🙄
I think the main take away is the MINDSET. That’s the part that hurt me so bad. I kept thinking my natural hair was so childish looking and I wanted to look more feminine, grown & sexy. It wasn’t until i kept getting mistaken for looking older with my weaves (not in a good way) did it start to click. Your natural hair IS YOUR BEAUTY & YOUTH!..which is the #1 thing women are obsessed with. It took time for me to get it an appropriate moisture level but once I did, I started wearing it in a wash-n-go daily and haven’t looked back. The trick is if you feel confident In you hair, so will everyone else. Everyone else can also sense when you’re insecure about your hair as well…
That's so true
Yeeees! It's the mindset!!
Especially when you don't appreciate or understand your hair for what it is!
@@babyg7796 so true nothing more admirable than a positive mindset and confidence.❤️💚
@@corinthiamcginty2732 💗❤️💚
Is everything hard until we decide to change our mindset and point of view about everything? Is our hair EASIER to manage/style once we change our mind about hair length/gender and also live in harmony with our hair texture? Do problems arise when we try to be who we are not? Living in harmony with self is a lifesaver!
100% agree. These girls only ever be doing this/feeling the need to do this when they constantly compare their hair to others which it’s not. Especially the ones on tiktok. No matter how many times you talk to them they never get it because they don’t want to accept this part of them selves and what they are.
Atleast more and more if the black community is finally waking up and accepting their natural hair
❤💚 everything begin to align when we do
@@CeraWorld,❤️💚
And wanting length isn't always about wanting to be white. All women of all races usually want lengthy hair and wanting to put it in a bun is not too much to ask. She should just get braids until it grows out to the length she can deal with.
@@thewordsmith5440 wanting length is never the problem, it's the fact that most ppl just don't know what to do with their hair until it's long enough, you suggesting she wears braids untill then kinda proves that.
im happy she has sweet coworkers. i understand her frustration i think she just needs to do some research
Yeah, and I really hope she does the research. I hope that wasn't her last attempt given how frustrated she seemed.
She is right that they don't know what they're looking at. She's a beautiful woman so when they say she looks nice that is absolutely the truth. Once she figures out the best ways to wear and maintain her healthy hair, she is going to have so much more confidence .
the day black women with 4c hair learn to love their hair the way it looks without any manipulation, is the day we will move on from this "natural hair is so hard" conversation. her hair was already good in the state it was when she took off the bonnet, all she had to do was use a pick comb to fluff it out.
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Exactly
Our natural state is often when it gets the most tangles. Most Africans with long hair styled their hair in updos, twist and long braids. Only those with short cuts wore it out.
@@thewordsmith5440this!! braids twists cornrows etc are still cultural natural styles that exist for a reason. wearing your hair completely shrunken all the time will stunt the length retention🤷🏾♀️.
I understand her frustration. She simply hasn’t learned how to style and care for her hair yet. All she needed was one of those drawstring bands to make a puff…there are items and products out there to help us learn. TH-cam has a WEALTH of videos showing how to style natural hair at ALL lengths🤷🏽♀️ invest some time in learning.
Ps- I love love love how you say “Cuuute!” That is the cutest❤❤
Aaaaaw 🤗😊❤️💚 you're right,there are lots of resources now, but we must want to learn too.
Same here, I never learned either but TH-cam has helped me a lot
When your natural hair is longer, you're either going to make peace with stretching it or chop it all off. Not stretching it is a recipe for tangles and body aches from trying to work through the tangles. I keep mine stretched and I keep my salon appointment. People make entire careers out of doing hair, but that's not my path. My hair can be a job, but it sure won't be my job. Find peace and choose it.
❤️💚 amen 🙌🏾
Afros and medium to large earrings are so beautiful so elegant. Trust me! My husband fell in love with me when I used to wear one.
I totally love that combination. It looks amazing on every black woman I've seen it on.
How do we pick the afros so that it looks neat? I have med. length natural 4C hair and the length seems uneven when I try to pick it out.
I just started wearing my 4c hair out at work. I'm just wearing it in an afro and all my white coworkers gave me compliments. Even though I just sprayed some product and used a pick, I'm trying to learn to be comfortable wearing my hair with little manipulation.
That is awesome! Thanks for sharing and I hope you love every bit of it.
That’s nice. You deserve to be comfortable in your own skin
That’s the key. Embrace 4c and it will be easier.
What do you do to take care of the afro at night? I worry about things like not knowing how to do long term maintenance when it comes to trying an afro
@@smolson8471 I just make sure to put on a bonnet.
Hair is just hard, natural or not, no matter it's texture or the race or ethnicity of the woman.
It's highly visible, fickle, gets messed
up while we sleep (while we sleep...while we do the thing that restores and renews everything else!) reactive to weather, subject to fashion trends and social judgments, changes with age and hormones, physically demanding to style because arms aren't
weightless and it's actually a little strength and flexibility workout to keep your arms up high and moving with purpose, often gets styled at the time of day when we are most in a hurry and worst of all it is a lightening rod for insecurities.
There's no magic formula to being happy with ones hair other than accepting oneself.
Hearing her co-workers compliments brought a tear to my eye, it just sounded so genuine and they were just so happy to see her
It is so hard honestly. I’ve been natural 10 years now and it’s still very much a struggle.
It will get better, the key is to try to actively learn and have a positive mindset
I have a daughter, I guess she’s in the 4 family. She really doesn’t have a distinctive curl pattern, and she’s low porosity. I was able to manage her hair and get her to tail bone length. She is a teen now and she does her hair, and she was taught what to do but she doesn’t do it. She does what everyone else does and now her hair is multiple lengths and a bit past her shoulders. I told her her hair needs moisture, and washing it once a week and deep conditioning is what got it so long when I did it. I’m frustrated because she gets so hung up on texture, but that’s not what grew her hair. We don’t have the same hair, yet I grew it for her, but texturism is such a big deal to her. She compares herself when her hair was actually longer than mine at one point. Low porosity hair needs moisture and to be gentle with it. I did a lot of twists in her hair, like the loose Senegalese type but with her natural hair and hair butters, small perm rods on the ends. She just wants to wear her hair like her counterparts, but that’s what’s causing the issues. I know how to make it thrive but she is in control at this point. I will just look at pictures to reminisce.
I really hope she comes around. Constantly wanting our hair to look different requires a lot of manipulation, it's never good for us in the long run.
Keep drilling it in to her. My daughter is 13 and has been doing her own hair for about a year now. She broke so much of her hair off not taking her time detangling and trying to wash her hair all at once (she has super dense hair and needs sections). She just came to me saying she wants to get a trim, simplify her routine, and be consistent washing and deep conditioning weekly. She finally gets it. Lol.
U sound like exactly like what my mom says
@@pri_shay_dior help her then from experience
I apologize for the long post, but I have so many thoughts on this.
I try not shame people’s hair journey. We don’t truly know texture or condition of this young lady’s hair to even know whether all the suggestions in the comments are useful for her. A picture only tells so much.
Not everyone can do frequent wash and gos and not experience tangles/breakage, and not all of those people want to get locs as an alternative, which is often a common suggestion when people with certain hair textures (cough cough 4c) complain about managing their hair.
Also, part of beauty is experimentation and self-expression through adornment and modification. Black women shouldn’t be shamed for wanting options outside of their natural hair in its purely, shrunken, unstyled state. This is not anti-black. The diaspora has a rich history of natural hair styled in intricate hairstyles.
Not everyone has the patience or skill to manage all aspects of their haircare, but this is what many black women are forced to do out of necessity.
And no, it’s not necessarily easy to care for hair. If it were so easy, then stylists/beauticians wouldn’t exist, and there wouldn’t be a whole industry dedicated to teaching the trade.
Depending on where you live, it may difficult to find a component natural hair stylist with affordable prices. This is part of the reason why DIY is such a huge part of the natural hair community and why we even have natural hair influencers in the first place.
So no, black women aren’t crazy or self-hating when they discuss their struggles managing their natural hair.
A lot of the frustration you hear some naturals expressing would stop if there were better options for professional natural hair styling.
100% agree and thanks for taking the time to share this.❤️💚
@apa-vj2ot I totally agree with you on that. I'm african and I can say that I don't fancy my natural hair over my wigs. I live in a place where hair salons are in every door step, 98%of women leave the salon with all styles and hairs except natural hair. Meanwhile my sister in Vienna has to drive for kilometers to find a hair salon and funny enough it has african staff owned by an African. Need l say more?
It can be hard definitely but not to the point of wearing wigs 24/7 and no standard natural hair styles and learning how to wear it out. Wigs take ages to lay down and look crazy lifting or fake and women still wear them. It’s getting to a point where everyone can call black women helmet heads and other races of women feel superiority in that frustration. I understand it but there needs to be some discourse on why natural is such an issue all around.
@@Sarah-kv3qs ❤️💚
FINALLY A COMMENT THAT IS NOT PATRONIZING 👏🏾👏🏾, you nailed it, absolutely true on everything.
Not many have the patience nor the money and it takes so long * to get it right or the style you're comfortable with.* Plus the climate and the circumstances for example: cowash may work for you if you live in a cold country and your hair is not greasy but if you exercise, live in a hot humid weather (hair will stink with all the products you use in less than 3 days). Natural hair is not easy at all.
I personally believe if Brad and Jennifer can comb their hair and leave the house and its "presentable" then so can we. (Except just water/moisturize and fluff. Combing too much can cause damage.)
Love your fro! Hair is meant to compliment your own beauty not be the beauty. And MANY people look beautiful without it.
So true
All she had to do was do twists at night then take it down in the morning …that is a style for short twa hair.
Yeah but everyone doesn’t want to/have the time to twist before. I struggle w not knowing what to do w my hair in its natural state sometimes too but that’s bc I’m holding it to standards not even made for my hair type. I think we all need to get comfortable w our hair being out in its actual natural state
Not even that- she could’ve just sprayed it and worn it as a mini afro.
Easiest hairstyle, but that also requires one to actually like seeing their hair like that. Even with the skills there still needs to be a change of mindset
Thank you 😊
It's a little bit of effort but doable.
Her hair is so dehydrated, of course it's gonna be hard to style it. Put some water on that hair, girl
agreed, her hair needed water. water softens our hair
The water in her area might be hard
There are a couple of things that makes it difficult when you are trying to make black hair conform to European beauty standards with the sleek hair. instead of accepting that our hair is different and behaves differently. Our hair is coily and kinky and sometimes curly and its beautyfull in its own right it has personality. I went natural about 15 years ago and my hair is now to my armpits and somedays the curls are popping and I even get jealous looks from White women and somedays it shrinks to my collarbone and people ask me if I have cut my hair and I say no but humidity is a bitch and keep it moving because thats what our hair does al this to say love your hair and let it be, let the beauty standards that where imposed on you by others go and you will learn to love your hair and want nothing else
Exactly!! Thanks for sharing ☺️❤️
This is exactly why outside people think they can insult us on our hair. They think we use wigs to hide our hair or loom like them and plenty of other things. I may have a love hate relationship with my hair but it's unique for a reason. I feel like braiding the hair and moisturizing helps alot.
I honestly found my natural hair to be easiest as a TWA. Just had to moisturize it and 2 minutes later I was done! If you're having an issue with shape/uniformity, cut it into an intentional shape that feels more flattering for your face/head shape. I also find earrings and makeup choices can help create more balance if for some reason you feel like shorter hair isn't the most flattering with your features. More than anything I think having your hair very short is an adjustment at first. You're not used to seeing your face that big and bold, lol. But eventually you'll get used to it and start focusing on the best way to make your face shine, and that's when fun begins!
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1:32 I know she was being serious in a sad way, but I felt this comment so deeply in a comical way.
I look like the girl version of my dad and when I wear my hair in its cute little afro/shrinkage glory. I gotta put on earrings and dress girly because I do resemble my dad when he was a village boy in Nigeria. It’s even worse because a lot of people say my younger brother and I look like twins, so I HAVE to lean girly with accessories, a cute headband, or a barrette in my hair so people don’t mistake me for HIM at first sight. 😭😂
I get the same reaction!!!! there's a picture of me at home and when ppl visit they think I'm a guy and I've been called my brother's brother too, because I look like every male in my family.
@@tintamanengu Isn’t it just SICK. Like we’re clearly girls if not for the lack of telltale accessories! 😂😭
That really hurt my heart to watch. I hate that she felt like her hair in it's natural state wasn't presentable.
Why not say hair affirmations everyday to make your hair more manageable then? It worked for me…
Never tried that, I'll try it.❤ Thanks for sharing.
Different strokes for different folks
4c hair is nothing but magical. There are so many ways to style it. Even in the short awkward stages of growing it out. I recently did a big chop and it is such a beautiful process learning and accepting my hair for what it is and the styles it can do.
My hair is 4F , not 4c …I’m very frustrated with my hair type, no one that I know has my hair type. My hair type is BEYOND 4c..!!! That’s why I call it 4F..!!😞😞😞
@@Geneviev285 I feel you,Hair struggles are real. Just try loving it despite the differences and find products and styles that work for your beautiful 4c/4f hair. You are a queen regardless.
I'm so glad you left this comment, I love that you're loving it at all lengths. Again thank you 😊
Have you tried any of the hairstyles shared also from one 4c girl to another, we really need conditioner and water let it sit for about 5mins maybe wrap a plastic/ shower cap over it after application before styling (if you have the time). It has changed my relationship with my hair. It's much softer and easier to comb through.
It’s hard for real. Leave her people. Anytime I wash mine, it’s tough and painful. I always would say, I need to not wash it unbraided.
I'm african and I can say that there is nothing to be proud of about my natural hair. It has a tedious, messy, painful combing and styling process. Those saying that they've gone back to natural hair use relaxers, tongs etc to make it easy to run the comb through. My wig takes only 2 minutes to comb, l wish my hair was like that wig
That’s the self hating mindset you will pass on to your kids…no doubt about it. Your hair isn’t like the wigs lol and that’s the truth at the end of the day. Yet it’s your prerogative. If they perm it cool but they still go into their natural hair. Others just use picks designed for our hair
The shorter it is, the worse it can be. I cried last week and my hair is longer. Blow drying helps. It straightens and smooths. Its definitely not easy
I think it gets even harder because at that point most ppl are just beginning to wear their natural hair intentionally and learning how to care for it too , unless you've big chopped before, all beginnings are quite hard.
@@tintamanengu ive big chopped then i shaved and started all over bc i was in distress after two stylists could not cut my hair the way i wanted and at that time i needed a good look to feel better ab myself. I grew it back of course its still never easy. I have thick 4b hair thats prone to dryness and too much tension causes headaches and its also lob-length but grew out in awkward layers. All i can do is. Wear it pulled back but even that doesnt look cute bc my hair resists edge control. Only blow drying gets it to where it sort of looks decent. I have to get braids soon bc im tired of my hair honestly
My mom never allowed me to get a relaxer so I had to learn to live with and love my 4c hair. It was hard and I spent two year constantly straightening my hair until I accidentally burned a patch of hair off. I was in sophomore year and that was the first time I had to really learn to love it. It took a while but eventually, I found a groove and realized I could do so much with it and it was so unique, I would be the only person to stand out with it. Like you said, mindset is everything. Once I stopped striving for long pin straight hair, I could embrace my fluffy kinky hair. I hope she finds that love for her hair one day!
I recently stopped trying to fight my hair texture and make it do things it didn’t want to do. It’s healthier and it take so much less time
I really hope we all learn to JUST love our hair.
Hahahahahaha my own mom last nyt told me to go shave my head n relax the remaining hair. She said it was no use braiding my hair..tha it looked so "messy "..despite the fact that i cover it up at home and added that my hair will never grow past chin level.my sisters have long straight hair bt i got 4c/4b hair..i have managed to embrace it n love it wid its curls n coils...n i m looking forwRd to this hair jurney.Ps dnt listen 2 criticisms..yr hair is yr hair...love it..own it..care for n it WILL grow.My hair woll grow..n it woll be healthier n stronger n longer.Ameen!😊
Amen!!! And happy hair journey to you girl.
This was a beautiful video to run across this morning, thank you for the positive view and guide for our natural hair. I love our versatility, I just cut mine even shorter yesterday! 11 years natural 🎉
I’ve recently decided to stop trying to tame my hair and just rock my fro. I also bought myself a handheld steamer which I could not live without. It’s my go to for detangling and just makes life easier 🙏🏾
Working in sections throughout my thick kinky frizzy 4c hair helped me tremendously with styling
I never wanted to work in sections when I first started I'm getting better at it now, and it's really helpful
I’m inspired to forget my wigs and rock my short natural- Styled of course, ❤
Aaaaw.....I love to hear this, I hope you love every bit of it.
Honestly, I feel her pain. I haven't worn my hair out in a year because I simply just dont have the will/energy to deal with it. Sigh
I understand but sometimes we're defeated before we even begin, begin with the easiest styles like an afro, embrace the shrinkage girl, I know you'll look beautiful. We're learning together.
@@tintamanengu Awww thank you and I'll try
@@tintamanengu Not everybody likes wearing afros and some don't have the face for it like me.
@@JaejoongPrincess I too have struggled wearing my hair in it's natural state (Afro) it really takes a change of mindset.... outside of that there's really nothing much to be done because it is the most natural state of our hair, a part of our body like our nose lips or eyes, we can't just constantly keep changing them depending on how we feel at the moment. But we can try to embrace it until it's no longer uncomfortable.
Just not realistic for everyone. If you live in Africa or a majority black country then yeah. But when you live in a white majority country and work in a field like finance clients and people WILL treat you differently. It's sad but true. Wearing my natural hair out to make a statement isn't worth my livelihood as people do associate afros with being unkempt or making political statements. Just not worth the trouble tbh. So I fully understand where these women are coming from.
I have 4C hair. I did my first big chop in 2010. I kept my TWA for a long time b/c it was easy to wake up and add mousse.
I also agree that an AFRO is a hairstyle. I usually twist it at night and then pick it out in the mornings.
Your so beautiful ❤ the way you danced to the other u tubers music was so cute...your personality is AMAZING.... ILOVE UR SPIRIT...THANX FOR UR VIDEO ❤
Aaaaaaaw thank you so much!! This made my night. Can't stop smiling now.
one thing I can shout from experience is WHITE PEOPLE MAKE ME FEEL GOOD ABOUT MY NATURAL HAIR !!! yep! Black women never compliment my natural hair ever….. but white women and men will. They actually tell me they think my natural hair is beautiful and looks better than my straight weave !!! If only the black hair community could jump on board ( I think we’re getting there though)
Which is funny since it was white culture who put down blk hair, lips, skin tone first originally.
This is so true.
Same, white ppl absolutely are fascinated with our hair
Yahhhh and I hate that I agree with this. When I first went natural my black aunt looked me in my face and said I would never advance in my career with my natural hair... I went to my director and sat in his office and looked him in his face and asked him, would my hair stop me from getting a promotion. He looked at me like I was crazy and said absolutely not... I was promoted 3 months later... my aunt worked in human resources 😢. After that, most of my compliments came from white people.
This is why I say something positive to every Black woman or little girl I see wearing their hair without extensions and in its natural state. We don’t tell each other that our hair is beautiful just the way it grows from our head. And the smiles I get in return, especially from the older women, lets me know that we need to do this for each other more!
Truth is a lot of it is undoing mental conditioning that our hair is not beautiful. A lot of young black girls are not learning how to work with their own hair texture. Once she confronts how she feels about kinky hair and starts watching youtube videos and applying what she learns, it will become a lot easier.
Watching this as I do my 4c hair trying to figure out what to do😅 been wearing my Afro out because of postpartum but it’s all good I still look cute and feel good in my Afro overall 😅😅
You got this! We've got this 💚❤️
Oh I love all these styles. So beautiful.
I love all the tips and styles and I love seeing my sisters from around the world sharing this knowledge. I've gotten bored with relaxed and have been letting my hair grow out a bit. I think I'm going to take the inspiration from this video and go on ahead and cut my hair today.
Her video feels like a parody. It doesn't make sense that she waited till that morning to do her hair and then filmed her breakdown. Something about all of it seemed weird, scripted, and downright sinister.
Frr I feel like she just did it for views cuz bsfr 🙄
Exactly!
This makes sense. Waiting till 30mins before u need to be at work, to figure out how to style ur 4c hair is recipe for a breakdown.
I disagree, sometime the day just isnþ gking to plan and i barely make it out of the house bacause of my natural hair
EXACTLY what I said
Even though I’m already in braids 😂, watching this really helped heal me cos I’ve struggled with styling my hair for years.
I’ve done big chops multiple times now cos I still am not able to style.
All the styles I see and attempt use a lot of gel and never turn out as in the video 😅 then I proceed to have a mental breakdown afterwards like the first girl.
This was very helpful content! Thank you ❤
When I became at peace with my texture and what it was or wasnt going to do, my life became a lot easier. I wear mine in a shrunken fro. I get complinents, but I do get looks from black people like they feel its too nappy to wear in its naural state. I dont care. How my hair grows out of my head is what its supposed to be, and im proud of it. I realize the negative feelings about 4c hair come from a preference developed by us needing to feel a close proximity to whiteness.
She can try micro locs😂 !! Quick style , less EVERYTHING! Just wake up n go! Self / professional retire every once or twice a month.💖💅🏽
If it’s raining not to threat! Best decision of my life😂!
Locs have really gotten great reviews in this comment section, now I'm thinking maybe I should get locs even though I don't even have any issues with my hair.
I love mine!
Her hair is so cute! A bit of edge wax would help make everything look uniform
All this lady needed to do was detangle her hair and styled into an afro. All the styles she was trying to do needed length. And her attitude towards her hair was off from from the get go.
She seemed to have already given up before beginning unfortunately
You know if your hair is so short that you cant style it, you can do so with scarves, they are a god send. Just learn different ways to tie them on pinterest or TH-cam with different beautiful designs. It may not look perfect, but with the right outfit it can look outstanding. Plus it protects your hair.
The Nigerian schoolboy remark from the first girl was…a bit offensive, but I do understand her anxiety. This is why it’s so important to not be dependent on the beauty industry to carry and convey our image and femininity FOR us as Black Women. Going natural and divesting from cosmetic consumption is so key nowadays, esp with how expensive everything is getting. You have to take notes (*if you weren’t during the natural hair movement). There was plenty to learn, unlearn and take away from the movement when it was far more relevant. You cannot be dependent on weaves; you cannot be dependent on wigs, lace fronts, etc; you can’t just HIDE your hair under textures that don’t even mimic your own and avoid taking care of what actually grows naturally from your scalp - because it will stunt and hinder you in the future. It can even stunt how prepared you are to take care of your *children’s* hair if you’re not careful. Think about it. That’s precisely how trauma specific to Black Women about our hair is recycled. When you are this unfamiliar with how to style your actual hair bc you never interact with letalone nourish it in some form of regularity, this is what happens. She was literally about to have a breakdown unable to even fathom what to do w her hair without just putting something over it. This kind of detachment from our natural hair is a plague on the mindset and esteem of Black Women - and I really pray healing is what will make the biggest difference in this. I genuinely believe that embracing our natural hair is the answer, yet too many still have excuses or fears as to why they’re not ready or are simply resistant. While as a Black Woman myself I do understand there is validity in those reservations, it took me a mere five years to go from the length of my hair being just past my shoulders to waist length; all just from being diligent with maintenance and unlearning bad habits. It’s not hard. It’s not impossible. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It’s not about investing in consumerism. It’s about investing in your health and image - by being diligent with a simplified routine that actually works for you. You don’t have to do what every natural does or swears by. The point is to find and exercise methods that work for you personally. What works for one natural can be kryptonite for another. The journey is about you and how you learn what works for you alone. Don’t work against yourself treating your hair like a stranger; it’s part of you. You cannot get rid of her, no matter what you put on top of her, and no matter how rarely you see her in her natural state. Take CARE of her. Learn HOW. You cannot lose. You will thank yourself the more consistent you are. Time will show you if nothing else will.
I started regrowing my hair December. It was much shorter than the lady in the first clip. It was tiring but i accepted my 4c hair right from my teen age. I always believe that if i spend anything on extensions, then i should spend double or more on my hair and to be patient with my hair. I rock the childish hairstyle and I don't care what people say. I have achieved 6 inches in 6 months and thats great 😊 cant wait to get to my former length BSL
I typically wear my hair in mini twists but when I wear it completely unstretched, I like to use shea butter. Keeps the coils slightly defined and very moisturized and soft. Just wash your hair, use leave in, & coat with shea butter. Use a bonnet for nighttime & spray a little bit of water in the morning. Shake, fluff out, & go❤️
I can’t even do twist because my hair unravels… it’s frustrating because I have so much hair and it tangles and mats
@@Sweetlittlebun my hair used to unravel too. I was twisting it the wrong way. You gotta twist in a clockwise direction (left to right) & hold each piece tightly. For detangling, I like African Pride aloe vera prepoo & I use mousse, preferably Papa Doux bc it also detangles well. Instead of combs, I often use my hands & only use a wide-tooth comb after using my hands. Another tip is to try washing your hair once a week instead of every 2 weeks or monthly. I wash my twists after week 1 & keep my twists in for another week. For each twist, moisturize using water, leave in, & some grease. Then braid at the root. This method should keep your hair from matting for up to 2 weeks. Hope this helps, precious!
She’s absolutely beautiful ❤. She can always get a slight fade, go a little lower on the side, that’s a cute style. Use oils on her scalp that helps to soften her hair. She can rock Bantu knots, cornrows, twist outs, or moisten and go. She definitely needs a quality satin bonnet. So many options. I love my natural hair and I’ve done all I’ve suggested. Now I’ve been rocking braids in all variety of colors. Being Black is a beautiful ❤🎉
Love to see this on here, thanks for sharing.
This is why I've decided to cut my hair. I can never style it appropriately. It's always nappy, disorganized and all over the place. Finally, I had enough. I was tired of spending$150 every few weeks for braids.
Divide and conquer (curling rods are great for dividing)... Finger detangle cream or moisture before using tools. Detangling brush from roots to ends. Putting you hair in one is not the only style. You can feed sections into each other.
Last tip...Take down and divide you hair before sleeping. Easier to loose the sections and style in the morning. Scarfs are great for emergercies.
I feel like black women in general needs to stop crying on the internet about our hair. Y’all don’t see any other race crying on the internet about there’s
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Your comment doesn't make any sense. Other races don't have the same hair struggles that black women with type 4 hair have. Those women don't have much to complain about.
@@Vanilla_Black ❤️💚
@@Vanilla_Black right! They also don't face discrimination, which is an added stress, because of their hair.
My hair is slightly longer than her's and i can understand her plight. I hate combing my natural hair. I can braid and cornrow etc but it takes soooo much energy and arm strength to comb. I feel like i do a whole gym routine trying to catch up my hair. My hair doesn't seem to like water like everyone recommends. It's harder to detangle when damp and harder to comb after lightly spraying water. They say don't detangle on dry hair and i try not to, but i lose so much hair combing it out after lightly spraying it with water. (I comb my younger siblings hair, it works fine on theirs so it's not that i don't know how much water to use or how to comb out hair gently. I got the whole black hair needs a gentle touch part)
For those who can give, i am very much in need of and willing to take advice 😂
These are some excellent tips!!
Glad you like them!❤️💚
The problem is shes tryna style it like a white girl, or the styles that r exceptable here. You have to except it for what it can do. And dont let anyone tell u its ugly in that style. Our hair is different meaning we have to style it different.our hair is so versatile we canform it shape it we can basically make it do anything.
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I feel bad for her 😢. Also that edge thing is bs i can't even use it to brush it back and it never stays down.
This was awesome, thank you. I went to the same hairdresser since I was 12 years old (a very long time), and when she retired I decided to go natural. I find the older I get, the less chemicals I want in my hair/body; but I never learned how to style my hair natural.
I have always hated combing my hair, so am partial to ponytails and buns...how on earth do you get your hair to look like that? If I could make my hair look like that, I'd never wear a bandana or wrap again (straight up lie lol).
I'm interested in what you use, because I don't like the feel of gel in my hair and you seem to not use gel.
Preach 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾❤❤❤❤. Love this video!
GREAT GREAT Video!!! All Natural African Hair is Beautiful BUT WE MUST LEARN what African Hair is Supposed to Do... It ain't supposed to lay flat... it is Supposed to stand up effortlessly like a Crown that we wear proudly. No other hair type can do what ours does and we must embrace it!!! Rock IT!!! Cuz if we want it straight like the masses we can do that too....Once we embrace who we are we will Have other races looking on with envy as they resort to getting hair sprays just to make their hair stand up like ours... I love my hair -- God don't make No Junk!!! All the ladies in the video looked so so beautiful!!! Thanks for sharing this video Sis!
Thanks for sharing this too. I love when we come out talking about how we love our hair.
I remember going natural. I was like 21. A lot of black women are natural...ly never going to let you see their real hair. A lot of us aren't comfortable with afro styles with no gel. I use shea butter.
Thank You for this video I’m glad I am not the only that feels like I don’t know how to style my natural hair and I want to wear it out but I am growing out my edges
I’m 18 and for most of my life I’ve done cornrows and box braids. I love the length, fun colors and how perfect my hair looks. Whenever I wear my natural hair I can’t help but fell frustrated with how hard to manipulate it the way I want. BUT I’ve started to take better care of it and embrace the imperfection but it’s been hard. So I totally feel for the girl in the video because that’s how I feel some days. But I also understand that I need to not be so hard on myself and that my natural hair will love me if I love it first.
Love your mindset. I can tell your relationship with your hair will get even better 💗
When my hair was that short I learned how to do flat twist and wore it like that until it grew out. I also did wash and goes with a little hair band.
I can’t wear faux hair because of my acrylic allergy. Plus, I have low density hair so many hair styles seemed to be for those with thick density. So I do an afro all day every day lmfao I don’t give a freak. Everyone is a always confused as heck when I straighten my hair that once in a blue moon.
She’s not overwhelmed with her hair, she’s overwhelmed because she waited 30 minutes before she had to go to work to do her hair. Any woman, regardless of race takes at least an hour to style their hair. Why didn’t she do anything to style it night before? If she had watched a few videos on natural hair, she would’ve figured out a simple style to do. I don’t get why she’s crying and making it seem like kinky hair is a burden. It’s not.
I disagree as someone who went through that. Sometimes you don’t have the time before so you have to do it last minute. And a person who has 1a hair or even 4a/4b could just wake up and put their hair in a ponytail in 5 mins. 4c is not a burden but it tough to deal with.
@@onwardtolanguagelearning7076 Yes but 4c hair is unique. If she had taken time to learn about her natural hair prior, she would know that there are indeed styles that take 10 minutes to do and look incredibly elegant. She would've known that to put 4C hair in a pony tail, you need tie it down section by section- not all at once.
@@laurendilaurentis6467 there are hairstyles that take 10 mins but she has short hair so her options are limited. People like that you have to be a little more compassionate because it’s a hard thing to go through. i disagree with the way she’s talking about 4c hair but sometimes it’s hard not to feel like that cause it’s hard to take care of it.
@onwardtolanguagelearing7076 I have 3c / 4a hair and i cannot just put my hair in a quick 5 min ponytail Lmfaoooo, i need to wake up at least 30 mins early to do a ponytail
@@dollanatomy5390 i understand that you have your own struggles with hair but it’s true that your hair type is easier to deal with then 4c. I have a mixture of 4b and i find that the part with 4b which is my middle hair is easier to detangle and quicker etc. In no shape or form is it that hard to do a ponytail with 3c or 4a hair, it’s easier to lay your hair. 4c is harder to deal with. It was an exaggeration, no hair type but 1a could do it in 5 mins but it’s quicker to do a bun then with 4c if you have 4a.
It's like they forgot to use WATER. As a black girl these videos make me furious. It's absolutely ridiculous. What have you been doing your whole life lol
this past few months i've learned stuff about my natural hair that i didnt really know or took for granted. like
1. i dont need to comb it every single day, which i always did and would get split ends but i would not see a cause and effect relationship between the two.
2. you should not comb/detangle wet hair, which was wild because how was i supposed to detangle since i cant do it dry, apparently damp is good enough.
3. water and glycerine is a bomb ass combination for my hair 3-4 times a week, with a leave in conditioner once a week
4. washing weekly with water only, and every 3 weeks with a shampoo bar with minimal ingredients.
so every day i'd wake up and spray it with water and just fluff it, which was enough and it actually looked better than the perfect afro i'd try to get with a comb every time. after six months of afro, i just braided my hair without stretching. the only difficulty i am facing right now is with parting, like i just sat in the middle of 4 mirrors but at one point i was so tired that i'd follow the mirror's reflection instead of being guided by it. but that's a small price to pay to get exactly the type, size and gentleness of braiding i want
I can't seem to get the parting right till this day neither. I've never tried glycerin but I've heard good things. I may try it some day.
When I started being natural I had the same issue. I high puffed for a long time. And flat twisted. She needs to just think ahead, maybe protective style, so all she has to do is moisturize and go. The third one was me all day at the beginning. Or a ponytailed fauxhawk.
Glad you found something that worked 💚❤️
Ahhhh yess my decorative scarf era was epic dont sleep on that option 🙌🏾🙏🏾
❤️💚time saver and actually beautiful
New subscriber! I already love your content ❤
Yay! Thank you! 😊❤️💚
I think she had a good outcome to. She said what do I do several times and I must say, what you do is accept it and move on so that you can create the good stuff.
She could do so many things with her hair actually. TH-cam is a major resource. I know and can empathize with this level of frustration but it really comes down to accepting what is. Knowing that it really is beautiful because it is yours and especially designed for you ❤
I'm sure if she was working with (majority) black women, the response would've been totally different 😪 she looked so cute but it took another ethnicity to let her see that for herself 🥺 I can relate to an extent but I'm glad I've finally come to a place of total self-acceptance albeit it took about 3 years 🥲 blessings to all fellow naturals ❤
Glad you are at a much better place now.
Honestly I cane relate I once cut my hair because I was so angry and tired. But I still love my natural hair .
At the length many of these woman have the quick and easy option is to every day or stretch to every 2-3 days they can wet their hair a little during their shower, apply a leave-in, rake their fingers through the hair to activate their coils or run a tangle teaser through it (for more afro look), shake their hair and go. This is the length when tighter textures can do the literal wash and go. And the beauty of this length is it can take as little as 5-10 minutes to style. At this length you don't NEED a gel if styling daily but it you want it to last a few days then use gel. Use a t-shirt to soak up extra liquid and air dry or defuse. Be patient and embrace the shrinkage.
i want to give her the biggest hug and tell her she isn't alone :(
I can’t be the only one experiencing this though, I get treated better when I don’t wear my real curly hair. I get better looks and sweet interactions. Don’t get me wrong, I love my hair. To mention, I do live in Southwest Florida. Maybe that’s why…
The irony is I have been growing my hair but then i never wear it down because i don't like the scratchy feeling on my shoulders and back. So most times I have it in an updo. Technically I am using the length for more volume in the hairstyle.
1st vid,I have the typical 4c hair, looks exactly like hers, every black girl friends + family dont like 4c and manipute/ change their 4c hair. I feel her pain 💔.but always proud to be black ✊️,hope she know it gets better, and she can not treat / view her hair like other hair types🫂
Wash and go in the twa phase, gotta spray it with water and fluff it out after waking up. And twists.
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There is far too many resources on the internet in all forms of media for us to be seeing videos like this in 2024. If she wants to perm her hair or wear wigs, she should just say that. When I cut my hair that short, I always twisted my hair at night so I can have a curly afro in the morning. It's that simple.
My thoughts exactly.
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Exactly..it's 2024. The natural hair movement has come a long way. Our job now is to just learn to embrace our hair is it is.
I just started getting into head wraps they are so cute, a bit of a learning curve but well worth it. Tried to wear one to work and was told I couldn't wear it unless I had a religious reason. A damn shame I'll tell you that. I thought head wraps we covered under the crown act🤦🏾♀
For years I neglected my hair I didn't like what I was naturally born with in turn hating my true self I learned to love myself after I lost most of my hair in the middle of my head from trying to bleach my hair at home it didn't fall out all at once it took a few months but now I take good care of my hair I love my hair and I love myself I'm happy with what I have and I hope more people love who they are I appreciate you for your video it was sad to see her unhappiness but once she learns how to do her hair she will know what she has is beautiful by the way you are a beautiful soul and I will subscribe
Aaaaaw thank you, I hope we all just love our hair as is and know that it's enough.
I feel the same way
Changing your mindset won't change how people treat you or how others look at you. We are part of a society at the end of the day and it feels good to have others think you look good too. Eventually we all care what others think of our appearance because it does affect daily life.
She’s beyond childish.
As someone who’s just learning in her early 30’s how to manage her natural hair. Yea it’s frustrating especially when you don’t know your own hair. I stayed getting braids n weaves. I’m just learning how to braid my own hair and I hope to start styling my own hair as well. You can get overwhelmed at the end of day there’s so much to take in and then so many products. You gotta learn your hair. If you gotta cry, cry it out and get back to it. It’ll be okay we can do this.
"cry it out and GET BACK TO IT" ❤️💚
Girl just needs to watch tutorials. Water and conditioner!!!!. She has beautiful hair
Water and some conditioner and styled to whatever. Put a scarf on and take your shower and get dress. You can add some gel before the scarf but you have to let it set before thinking it will work. A slick back ponytail is the easiest to do.
↪️ She didn't prepare her hair beforehand it looks like she's coming out of the shower so of course she's going to feel rushed and overwhelmed... She should have styled her hair in the eve or done African threading for her hair to be detangled and softer.
↪️I feel a bit bad for her but at the same time there are plenty of YT tutorials for "short/awkward" stage length now...
↪️I'm glad she's trying something and not putting somebody else's hair on
↪️@08:00 Love what she's doing to her hair
I get the frustration, i think the main issue is her idea of "presentable" is based on white beauty standards. All she needed was to wet, shape and maybe throw in a side part and that's it. Our hair texture does different things so she needs different expectations of her hair
100%❤️💚