I’ve suffered from Anxiety all my life. Fear of failure, fear of letting everyone down, fear of looking weak to my family and the people I care about. Great video, I appreciate it. Hiking and long Motorcycle rides help me immensely. I’m going to read the power of now and meditate as well.
Hey ER. This video hits home. Very strongly. I retired from the AF in 2023. While doing my VA claim, anxiety was in there. I didn't know how it got there because I did such a good job compartmentalizing that, and hiding it away. I am struggling with it more now than I ever have before. Thank you for this. Been following you since your 2017 AT videos. Always felt a weird connection with you, and after watching your retirement video, I know why. I was at Pope, then a few other bases, then Hurby. Aircraft maintenance. Aside from some personal connections. I'll stop rambling, but not before I thank you again for putting this out there.
@parkermorris803 thanks for the comment. I get to see everybody's testing when they came through our operator selection at the unit. A ton of guys have anxiety and don't even realize it. Congrats on retirement!! 🤘🕓
ER - So glad to see you back on YT. Great topic - anxiety is the thing that has held me back more than anything in life, and for most of my life I didn't know what it was. As I started hiking, I would frequently talk myself out of my hikes - either not get up and go after planning, or I would walk out for a day, camp, then walk back in the morning. I had no idea why until your book clued me in - that rider can be a real asshole to me in the morning - I would wake up, think of all the things that could go wrong and it would literally talk me out of my hikes or make me return to my car on day 2. As I came to realize what it was, I learned how to cope with it, prepared myself for it when I was vulnerable to it in the morning and learned to ignore it. Sometimes, it still sneaks up on me, but I'm usually prepared. I did a 4 week AT hike in April through Virginia (all I could get off work) and I benefitted from being mentally prepared and learned how letting go can lead to great times. I still fight it - but knowing the signs has really helped me. I'll still be doing lashes or the next few years as I wind down my career, and am planning for a thru hike when I retire. Understanding the mental piece is a huge step to enabling me to enjoy my love for hiking. Thanks for your guidance - you are appreciated.
Brother, you don't know how much I love hearing these success stories! Keep pushing back against your mind. You are more awake now than 99.9% of the population in the world. Proud to be a part of it!!!
I have had anxiety my whole life--that is, until I retired. I was an interventionist in an elementary school. These kids who are having trouble in school are also the kids who have behavior issues because when they can't perform academically, they act out so that no one notices that they can't perform. I really related to them. What they experienced, I did, too. But I couldn't help their anxiety. I couldn't help my own anxiety. My anxiety didn't relate to their anxiety, but I had anxiety for different reasons. My anxiety started at home when I was little. I could perform academically, but not in other ways. I couldn't be my sisters. I never lived up to that. I never lived up to what my father or my grandfather wanted. I performed better in college, but unfortunately I married a man who was just like by father. Thus, my anxiety again found a home inside. When we divorced after 20 years, my anxiety improved, but the voices in my head were never silent. I knew what my father or husband would say, even though they were gone. I had always said that when I retired, I would do whatever "I" wanted to do. I would be by myself. What I realized was that I didn't like being alone all the time. When I finally ventured out, I was okay, but still on guard. Meditation saved by life. Meditation helped me realize that I wasn't on earth to please everyone else. I have meditated every day, and I have become solid, whole, and grounded. I am healthier now, and when I hear the voices, I meditate to calm myself. Thank you, Early Riser, for speaking out about this. It will help so many people if they hear you and then take action. Meditation works. It saved by life.
God, I relate to this. In naval aviaton (retired now) peak performance is expected all the time, especially on mission. Standards are high. All mistakes are public among your peers & leadership (but hopefully never at a national news level!). The better you perform the more you are leaned on to get it done, teach others, take on greater and greater responsibilty. The stress is consistantly high. Family really does not understand the enviroment and contant pressure. Like you, I struggled with anxiety throughout all 20 years, E-3 to CDR. Thank you for sharing. -Dinty
Your story must sound familiar to many people; it does for me. Just as you, anxiety made me really good at my job, and really any goal I set for myself. I was an over achiever, hard as hell on myself and others (I'd about rather die than not be perfect), couldn't sleep a lick. The lack of sleep caused me to jack myself up on caffeine and other simulants, which just made things worse; the cycle never ended, and it has to be destructive to one's health. Eventually, I think I just burnt completely out and decided one day that I wasn't going to go through it anymore. I've never gotten help, except for reading about the topic, but I am much better at 54 years of age because I think I've realized all of it was really for nothing, especially now that I'm retired. I've shut a lot of toxic family members out of my life, and hiking/being outdoors is kind of my meditation. It takes a lot of courage to share this as a man and a person considered a tough guy. I've still never talked about it with a single soul, but I've got it under control; except the sleep; I can't sleep worth a damn. Thanks for sharing; look forward to more.
You really hit home with this one ER. I too have been struggling for years with what I now know is anxiety. Unable to sleep. Worried about everything going on in my life. Taking care of my wife suffering with cancer. Wanting to retire but needing insurance coverage. I always thought I was just an introvert with social issues but you've opened up my eyes. Thanks brother....
WOW, I could not say the words better myself.... of myself. Especially when I see or know one of my men, (Fire Police) screwed up or messed up, I would console them and let them know what went wrong, how to correct it and move on doing it better. But when I knew I messed up or could have done something better as far as leadership...I will chastise myself to no end for long periods of time. Lot of similarities you bring out I see in myself...I think finding your channel will benefit me tremendously, Thank you!
❤ Great video and topic. Keep this stuff up. I'm a natural worrier. wake up at 2 a.m., and if something gets in my head, I just can't make it stop. Especially after my experience last year, I worry about my job, and it sucks to do that. Trying to also take care of an 80 y.o. mom.. yeah, I need to follow your advice.
I’ve been following you since your AT thru hike. I appreciate you sharing your story. I too have suffered with anxiety and depression mostly job related. Since retiring I am doing 100% better. Hiking, outdoor activities, prayer, reading, have been very helpful. Great shopping cart illustration. Keep the videos coming! 😊
I get it man... i followed in the same tracks for along time. I took your advice and took a walk with " Warrior Expeditions" and "Save A Warrior " I have learned were to put my fears and anxiety. Gavin
My anxiety triggers survival mode. When that happens, it's probably because I haven't gone for a walk or hike that day. That time on trail or outdoors without any distractions helps to center and ground me. Backpacking, hiking and camping have been that special time to heal, reflect and reset. Thanks for starting the conversation because you aren't alone. Hope those meditation times bring you a little peace and healing.
Thanks for the conversation ER. I have anxiety with public speaking which I don’t have to do often but it still pulls at me and wears on me. I have the same fears, not wanting to sound incompetent or stammering with my words. This may be a common source for anxiety in many people and I’d love your thoughts about easing one’s mind in the moment. So speaking from the heart is clear and fluid. I spoke at my daughter’s wedding and it kept me up beforehand for weeks and I’d rather be more prepared next time for my next daughter’s wedding. What I said was well received with compliments but my heart was going a mile a minute. Thanks for sharing ER and I look forward to the discussion.
Thank you!! I have listened to your book "Pushing North" three times. I, too, have anxiety, and between your book and the videos, I understand that I can be in control.
Thanks for sharing this powerful message and your experiences, brother! So many similarities there...I was worried about being viewed as a victim, not being able to handle my own problems, placing the burden of my issues on my family, worried about the stigma of seeking mental health, and worried about how seeking help would impact my career. What I was completely missing was the impacts my failure to seek help were affecting my family. Seeking treatment helped...hiking helped....and sharing the details of my struggles and how I overcame them in my book (first time I shared a lot of those things) were hugely helpful! What I'm finding now...and what you may find now that you've shared your story here....is that the things I was most hesitant to share (or even admit) are the things that are resonating the most with others. And even more powerful are the messages form people who chose to seek help after hearing my story. You're helping others by sharing your story here, brother!!! I appreciate you. KEEP SHARING!!!
Good to see you back here. You were very influential in my Appalachian Trail hike. Though I wasn't able to complete it, I'm still hiking and what I learned from my experience led to other positive things in my life. One of which was confronting my anxiety. I was introduced to a form of therapy called Family Systems. At it's core it looks at the development of the individual as part of a family system where anxieties get passed along and can repeat through generations. I was unconsciously suffering from fear of abandonment. The anxiety affected my ability to develop strong relationships but I didn't have a clue as to what was happening. The ego is a master of disguises. Thanks so much for this post and I will check out your substack posts as well.
Trey, I found you through my interest in hiking and your AT hike. I've hiked the AT, PCT, LT and more. I find that long distance hiking, often solo, allows all the noise to drain from my mind and leave me in a peaceful state that I don't experience elsewhere. When I'm feeling stressed, I try to turn my thoughts to recollections of hiking when I was in the zone, not ruminating and feeling my heart is full. That beautiful feeling returns. All the best. ...Pritch
So good to see you, ER. I’ve been struggling with crippling anxiety lately. I suppose I’ve had mild anxiety off and on, but recently it has skyrocketed. Daily walks in the woods, gardening and beating on wood with hammers(and nails, building things) helps me a little. Improving every week. It takes much self reflection to be honest with so many people. And much strength to show the softer side. Kudos to you. Be well. 💙
It has been a lifetime of anxiety for me. Only once I realized that I didn’t have to live my life in that state did it change for me. Letting go of the thoughts has been the key. It’s an ongoing process. Thank you for creating awareness. I appreciate you, your honest chat and your channel.
I grew up with perfectionist grandparents. Critical of even the simplest things. Parents were alcoholics, and never present. I’m 52, riddled with anxiety, depression, and panic disorder. Basically, my whole life has felt like a big circus, except not an entertaining one. I’m the one in the spotlight, everyone watching, waiting for me to fail, to laugh, and be viciously critical. Like the circus animals, I’m consumed with the weight of chains, and being caged. I can feel quite hopeless at times that freedom is never achievable. I’ve been in therapy, and on medication since 6th grade. ER, thank you for sharing. I’ve been working hard for years with self help, and I’ll continue to fight the ringleader of the circus in my head. Keep the insightful videos, articles coming. ✌️ Happy Holidays
This is crazy timing! This week I have come to terms that my anxiety is out of control. Looking back I have always had it but life lately has really taken a toll on me. I look forward to hearing your process on what you do to manage it. Thanks for sharing!
The greatest thing I’ve found to help with my anxiety is doing an Ayahuasca ceremony. You don’t have to go out of country anymore. It’s now legal here. It’s helped me so much in so many ways.
100 percent anxiety girl here...oh and panic attacks. Tried meds, therapy, nothing works.....I have learned being alone is good for me, just me and my dog. ☺♥
A secret to anxiety is learning how to hear it in the story your mind is telling you and not latching onto that story. It's usually some story like "I'm less than others" or "I will be seen as incompetent to others." Therefore we often choose alone versus risk the interactions. I too choose alone alot. Just easier, but we also miss some great experiences. Just work on self compassion. It has worked wonders for me. Letting go of my perfectionism was the giant first step! 🕓
Anxiety is worry turned onto steroids and it can reach pathological levels. A little worry is a protective mechanism and is not pathological. When it is left unbridled it can wreck one’s confidence and ability to function, as you stated. Dale Carnegie wrote a book published in 1948 called “Stop Worrying and Start Living.” I recommend it to all who suffer from worry or anxiety.
Revisiting your channel since you finished the AT. Saw this video and it hit home. When you live with anxiety your entire life…..it is your norm. Because you do not know any better. It kept me alive and mostly out of trouble. It served me well in the Infantry and as a nurse. Now that I am older…..I feel the weight and the amount of abuse all that anxiety has inflicted on my body and spirit. How much it has robbed me. I heard long ago that worry was not having faith in GOD. Even though I know this, understand it, and try to embrace it…..it is hard to let go of anxiety/worry. Thanks for sharing. I going to rewatch your AT videos to prep for my SOBO July 2027. Motivation and wisdom earned by one who has shared it with us. Appreciate your videos. Side note…..you said in a video “don’t be a liability to others “. This can apply to anxiety also. It is contagious to those we love.
I'm tracking with you brutha! Just started reading your first book after following your trails and chats over the past 4-5 years. Good stuff! We're kindred spirits but also quite different. I could not relate well with others (or especially my own kids as they struggled) with anxiety...until about 2 years ago. Something happened. rocked my world. Anxiety...rumination...catastrophizing...dread..."not enough-ness" became my new best friends and it has taken a lot of work (and section hiking) to dig into the true self...figure out the core wounds etc. Quite a journey. Faith has been a critical element for me (along with philosophy/stoicism, meditation, transcendent experiences in nature etc) but I would say faith was also a major obstacle in the process. Theology and religion can jack you up if your vision of God is off by even a fraction of degrees. Anyway...keep it coming. Blessings on your retirement journey where it could get mentally messier before it gets better. Our work (and so many other things) distract us from the tough inner work that needs to happen. I'm actually leaving in 2 days for a week-long section of the AT (100 miles) which will be my first winter sections attempt after hiking about half the trail (NOBO) so far. I'll be dealing with chattering teeth and the chattering mind! ;-) Blessings, @cbean71 (which means we're the same age, lol)
I really enjoyed listening to this Trey! Man you have an amazing way of explaining things. This is so true and definitely can relate. Anxiety can be a real problem and it can happen in many ways. Just for instance I just currently got back from the Adirondack Mountains as I climb their in the winter to bag Peaks trying to get my winter 46 46. I really enjoy hiking but sometimes I get the anxiety for some reason when I get out on the trail and I can see the top of that Peak or the trail going up to that Peak in the winter and it is very intimidating and anxiety starts playing with my head with my head in terms of I don't want to fall how am I going to get up this icy ledge or whatever the case may be and it really plays on your mind but sometimes you have to put that in the back seat and try to get ahold of your anxiety. But one standing on The Summit of that mountain it's like a sigh of relief but then it's only half over because you have to come down and then the anxiety picks up again. I truly enjoy all your videos. Thank you for sharing for sharing my friend!!!
Thank you so much for your video! I also suffer from anxiety, and when you said fear plus uncertainty equals anxiety, everything that I was fearful of came back, and it was an ah-ha moment! Other things bother me as well, but man, this sure hit home. Thank you for sharing! I recently got certified as a meditation practitioner, and I had to separate beliefs to go back to meditation and a time when I was calm. Thank you for sharing. I think a lot of people need to hear your message and at the right time! All the best!
Your thoughts are worth sharing. Thank you for admitting to anxiety! Must have been hard to put it out in this public forum. You’ve got guts. Be a meditation teacher. This was a great one! Keep these up.
That's what's strange, a large sect of humans experience it, and everyone is keeping it close-hold like it's some secret. It's just being a human. Thanks for the comment! ❤🕓
The fear of not being in control of my own mind (& subsequent physical panic reactions) & not able to get control back is debilitating. It’s the spiraling that makes me feel not as strong or capable as (what I convince myself) most others are. I was hoping you’d share your experiences learning to meditate (chatterbox minds are stubborn!) & how you find stillness. That journey is always what inspires me in hikes/challenges such as yours & others like Speilberg.
It's the desire for control that is a main obstacle. Let go. You will be fine. Letting go is the secret to our experience. We want to control everything but we aren't really controlling anything. Our minds are the only obstacle in life. ❤🕓
Great Vlog! Very interesting subject of anxiety. My parents (God bless them) showed me love and all that, and there were expectations that had for me, and mainly it was that I be happy. That was very important to them because there was little else they required. It was wonderful I guess, because my friends and peers wished their parents were more like mine. I did realize that I stood out to others (which was mostly my own ego telling me that wasn’t all that great of a thing). I remember once in 2nd grade my teacher came by our table in the lunchroom, grabbed my fork and said in front of everyone, “Child! Don’t you know how to hold a fork? Did your parents not teach you this?”. Oh man! I crushed me. I totally played that tape over and over in my head for years! I didn’t want to be different from other kids (same as adults). I didn’t want anyone to know my vulnerability at anything, so I wore a mask (figuratively) to hide the real me. Talk about anxiety! Fast forward, I took medicine for anxiety for years, but now it seems I have made peace with what my parents did or didn’t do. I think now I have become exactly who I am, and while I still sometimes worry about nether people like, or dislike me, it boils down to what I think of me, and I happen to like me. I have some very good friends and I just hope you will enjoy your retirement as much as I am!😊
One of the things I learned about during my years as a paramedic was the concept of preventative medicine. If someone had just said, "Don't be a paramedic" and then explained why then maybe I could still have been plain old me. Early Riser strikes me as a man who knows a thing or two about PTSD and I'm sure he can confirm that it can cause you to struggle with everything. I currently am on the mission to make just one thing fun again. It's a deceptively difficult task.
Trey, please do not think I am trying to massage your ego with this comment; this is a cathartic confession of a realization that has boiled over and that which I have pondered and embraced. your videos resonate so very deeply and personally for me one many levels. You and Spielberg are the two that awakened a dream of mine that had laid dormant for way too many years. I have followed you since the beginning. I have learned an immense amount of information about all things hiking, but no information has been so valuable, priceless, timeless, and and is incredibly critical and significant to us as humans and the human condition. I continue to review your books and mine all the "gold nuggets that can help me achieve my dreams. everything you have said are the reasons why my 2018 Thru Hike went horribly sideways: 1.) not enough practice, physical and mental prep; not even realizing that the mental aspect and elopement were going to be the most challenging. This is what did me in and it hurt and stung very badly and festered like an infected wound. 2.) the complete inability to listen, to you, Craig, nomad, Zen who really did try to turn my hike around, and many others, I was way too much in my own head, in my own ass, even verbally telling people that I knew what I was doing, an explosion of "muchissmo" that I thought would carry the day, turns out it carried the "demons" that you speak about. It was this giant EGO that also consumed me, consumed my dreams, consumed my feelings, consumed my life, it trapped me in a terrible cycle that at that time I could not break out of. It made me feel like such a failure. 3.) I put way too much pressure and high expectations for myself and was constantly worried and anxious about not just letting myself down but letting everyone at home down the dreaded "I told you You was nuts for hiking the AT" plagued my mind like a disease and to return home in shame and have to hear that was dreadful. I wasn't even myself I was in some type of epic battle with myself. this was the beginning of my Anxiety Journey. Since then, I have had numerous severe physical troubles requiring a multitude of major surgeries of which 2 more are coming up. A major grasping of my Anxiety which in 2021 almost killed me, a complete life-changing, realizing how unhappy we were living where we were, so we returned home to New England, back to mid coast Maine where I am now with my clan, my people, Mrs AG, whom I owe more than a debt of gratitude to for being by my side with everything and not giving up on me but yet still supporting me and my dreams of getting back to hike the AT, eho unbeknownst to me would necome the biggest baddest badass weapon in my mental arsenal, more on that layer, and of course our beloved Bernese Mountain dog. I have also since opened my mind and heart through Meditation to be able to "Still" Myself and use Mindfullness Techniques to keep me in the NOW, the PRESENT, and keep me balanced. SHO - SHIN! OR FRESH MINDS. it has allowed me to slow down, really clear my mind and be able to really listen to others, synthesize my thoughts into coherent chunks and file them where I need to. Another big point you have made clear so eloquently. I have completely revamped all of my kit, every single piece into a dynamo of what exactly I need and a weight I can handle and have had it examined by several other veteran thru hikers that helped me tweak it even further. But, as you have again so eloquently said, there has been so many advances in gear to increase Hiker success, well then why are more hikers not being successful? it's all MENTAL! You have to have a total understanding and practice and prep for the mental stress and disturbances that ARE going to happen and know how and when to deploy meditation and mindfullness techniques to keep your ship righted again you have made this point abundantly clear. so what you are saying reads like a diary for me and my journey since 2018. I strongly believe you are onto major components of living a better, successful, fulfilled, life, uncluttered, quiet, effective and yet using your very unique skill set and intelligence to help others. I am from a military family and in fact my older brother just retired from USCG after 34 years, and it has been very interesting listening to you and watching him adjust to retirement and regular civilian life, it is such a massive juxtaposition. I am trying to talk him into returning to the AT with me to do the brotherly love journey being that he is all I have left of my bio family. that would be epic! I just really wanted you to know this and really connect with your past 2 videos. please Trey keep sharing because your story, your life, your experiences I know have a profound effect on many others, I have just stepped out of the dark shadows of Anxiety and hope others follow so they too can live a complete fulfilled life. Thank You Trey for being you
I’ve watched you since your AT hike. I’ve read your book twice. I commented on a video yesterday, and appreciated your feedback! Thank you for opening up, and showing me I’m not the only one. My anxiety was brought on by a violent father. After “failing” my two attempts at the AT, I’m at the point of following your advice, and subscribing to your Substack. Some questions I have are, inability to eat with chronic anxiety. Did that happen to you? While hiking…besides the loneliness, I had no appetite! And you know what happens when you don’t have any gas in your tank. Do you think by meditating and learning to embrace the now will help increase my appetite? Lastly, when you were pushing miles, were you aware of your anxiety? I always referred to you as a beast. Now, I apologize…as possibly that anxiety brought the beast out. I smile to make people think I’m happy, but deep down, I’m losing it! Thank you, ER! 💙🐦
Meditation will cure everything once you realize that anxiety is all made up stories in your head. That's the awareness that can come from a practice of sitting and becoming the watcher of your mind. I had no anxiety on trail other than worrying about my family. Being in a strenuous environment is a perfect place to suppress fears and anxiety if you push hard every day. There will be no energy left to use towards fear. The loss of appetite most hikers feel is because they started so out of shape that their bodies don't know how to perform under stress and load. The best way to keep your appetite is to get in shape and stay in shape, not to hike, but to be a human. When your body gets pushed super hard on trail and you haven't primed it beforehand, suppression of appetite is going to happen. I am almost as ravenous on day 1 as on day 100. I would suggest to all humans... "Get in shape, stay in shape. Exercise is the panacea for nearly all ills. "🤘🕓
I often find myself repeatedly exhaling like a woman in labor might do. It’s my body’s natural way of dealing with anxiety. Other times I need quiet, so the noise-canceling headphones go on. It’s most difficult to deal with at work, but a little quiet time in a bathroom stall helps.
Mr Free, thank you for your thoughts on this subject. This video came at a time when I've been struggling a little bit more than usual with these things. How did you get so far into your career while dealing with so much anxiety? I have a tendency to withdraw when I feel anxiety, and it gets me nowhere.
@spencerp7133 unfortunately, I used lots of alcohol in my earlier years. Withdrawal was my preference after I quit leaning on the booze. Don't get down about it. It's survivable. Just be willing to do the work.
I bet most men have anxiety for most of their lives. That just comes with the job. Got to keep the rent paid, groceries, car payments, all other needs. Am I wrong?
I find people who have faith in God tend to suffer less from anxiety. You are constantly being taught that God loves you and that God’s will be done. If you already know that God’s will be done, then you know you are right where you belong at any given moment the good voice in your head is the Holy Spirit and the bad voice of doubt is the enemy. I am curious if the people you could apply anxiety to in your trainings were people of faith.
Please tell us about your experience with anxiety/stress and how you've dealt with it.
I’ve suffered from Anxiety all my life. Fear of failure, fear of letting everyone down, fear of looking weak to my family and the people I care about. Great video, I appreciate it. Hiking and long Motorcycle rides help me immensely. I’m going to read the power of now and meditate as well.
Hey ER. This video hits home. Very strongly. I retired from the AF in 2023. While doing my VA claim, anxiety was in there. I didn't know how it got there because I did such a good job compartmentalizing that, and hiding it away. I am struggling with it more now than I ever have before. Thank you for this. Been following you since your 2017 AT videos. Always felt a weird connection with you, and after watching your retirement video, I know why. I was at Pope, then a few other bases, then Hurby. Aircraft maintenance. Aside from some personal connections. I'll stop rambling, but not before I thank you again for putting this out there.
@parkermorris803 thanks for the comment. I get to see everybody's testing when they came through our operator selection at the unit. A ton of guys have anxiety and don't even realize it. Congrats on retirement!! 🤘🕓
ER - So glad to see you back on YT. Great topic - anxiety is the thing that has held me back more than anything in life, and for most of my life I didn't know what it was. As I started hiking, I would frequently talk myself out of my hikes - either not get up and go after planning, or I would walk out for a day, camp, then walk back in the morning. I had no idea why until your book clued me in - that rider can be a real asshole to me in the morning - I would wake up, think of all the things that could go wrong and it would literally talk me out of my hikes or make me return to my car on day 2. As I came to realize what it was, I learned how to cope with it, prepared myself for it when I was vulnerable to it in the morning and learned to ignore it. Sometimes, it still sneaks up on me, but I'm usually prepared. I did a 4 week AT hike in April through Virginia (all I could get off work) and I benefitted from being mentally prepared and learned how letting go can lead to great times. I still fight it - but knowing the signs has really helped me. I'll still be doing lashes or the next few years as I wind down my career, and am planning for a thru hike when I retire. Understanding the mental piece is a huge step to enabling me to enjoy my love for hiking. Thanks for your guidance - you are appreciated.
Brother, you don't know how much I love hearing these success stories! Keep pushing back against your mind. You are more awake now than 99.9% of the population in the world. Proud to be a part of it!!!
I have had anxiety my whole life--that is, until I retired. I was an interventionist in an elementary school. These kids who are having trouble in school are also the kids who have behavior issues because when they can't perform academically, they act out so that no one notices that they can't perform. I really related to them. What they experienced, I did, too. But I couldn't help their anxiety. I couldn't help my own anxiety. My anxiety didn't relate to their anxiety, but I had anxiety for different reasons. My anxiety started at home when I was little. I could perform academically, but not in other ways. I couldn't be my sisters. I never lived up to that. I never lived up to what my father or my grandfather wanted. I performed better in college, but unfortunately I married a man who was just like by father. Thus, my anxiety again found a home inside. When we divorced after 20 years, my anxiety improved, but the voices in my head were never silent. I knew what my father or husband would say, even though they were gone. I had always said that when I retired, I would do whatever "I" wanted to do. I would be by myself. What I realized was that I didn't like being alone all the time. When I finally ventured out, I was okay, but still on guard. Meditation saved by life. Meditation helped me realize that I wasn't on earth to please everyone else. I have meditated every day, and I have become solid, whole, and grounded. I am healthier now, and when I hear the voices, I meditate to calm myself. Thank you, Early Riser, for speaking out about this. It will help so many people if they hear you and then take action. Meditation works. It saved by life.
God, I relate to this. In naval aviaton (retired now) peak performance is expected all the time, especially on mission. Standards are high. All mistakes are public among your peers & leadership (but hopefully never at a national news level!). The better you perform the more you are leaned on to get it done, teach others, take on greater and greater responsibilty. The stress is consistantly high. Family really does not understand the enviroment and contant pressure. Like you, I struggled with anxiety throughout all 20 years, E-3 to CDR. Thank you for sharing. -Dinty
Enjoying your comments across videos, Dirty! Thanks for joining this community!!!
Your story must sound familiar to many people; it does for me. Just as you, anxiety made me really good at my job, and really any goal I set for myself. I was an over achiever, hard as hell on myself and others (I'd about rather die than not be perfect), couldn't sleep a lick. The lack of sleep caused me to jack myself up on caffeine and other simulants, which just made things worse; the cycle never ended, and it has to be destructive to one's health.
Eventually, I think I just burnt completely out and decided one day that I wasn't going to go through it anymore. I've never gotten help, except for reading about the topic, but I am much better at 54 years of age because I think I've realized all of it was really for nothing, especially now that I'm retired. I've shut a lot of toxic family members out of my life, and hiking/being outdoors is kind of my meditation. It takes a lot of courage to share this as a man and a person considered a tough guy. I've still never talked about it with a single soul, but I've got it under control; except the sleep; I can't sleep worth a damn. Thanks for sharing; look forward to more.
You really hit home with this one ER. I too have been struggling for years with what I now know is anxiety. Unable to sleep. Worried about everything going on in my life. Taking care of my wife suffering with cancer. Wanting to retire but needing insurance coverage. I always thought I was just an introvert with social issues but you've opened up my eyes. Thanks brother....
WOW, I could not say the words better myself.... of myself. Especially when I see or know one of my men, (Fire Police) screwed up or messed up, I would console them and let them know what went wrong, how to correct it and move on doing it better. But when I knew I messed up or could have done something better as far as leadership...I will chastise myself to no end for long periods of time. Lot of similarities you bring out I see in myself...I think finding your channel will benefit me tremendously, Thank you!
@amerphoto1 Glad you are here. Thanks for what you do!
❤ Great video and topic. Keep this stuff up. I'm a natural worrier. wake up at 2 a.m., and if something gets in my head, I just can't make it stop. Especially after my experience last year, I worry about my job, and it sucks to do that. Trying to also take care of an 80 y.o. mom.. yeah, I need to follow your advice.
I’ve been following you since your AT thru hike. I appreciate you sharing your story. I too have suffered with anxiety and depression mostly job related. Since retiring I am doing 100% better. Hiking, outdoor activities, prayer, reading, have been very helpful. Great shopping cart illustration. Keep the videos coming! 😊
I get it man... i followed in the same tracks for along time. I took your advice and took a walk with " Warrior Expeditions" and "Save A Warrior " I have learned were to put my fears and anxiety.
Gavin
I had anxiety as well. Sucks... People who haven't had it seem to not understand most the time. Great video. ✌🏻
My anxiety triggers survival mode. When that happens, it's probably because I haven't gone for a walk or hike that day. That time on trail or outdoors without any distractions helps to center and ground me. Backpacking, hiking and camping have been that special time to heal, reflect and reset. Thanks for starting the conversation because you aren't alone. Hope those meditation times bring you a little peace and healing.
Thanks for the conversation ER. I have anxiety with public speaking which I don’t have to do often but it still pulls at me and wears on me. I have the same fears, not wanting to sound incompetent or stammering with my words. This may be a common source for anxiety in many people and I’d love your thoughts about easing one’s mind in the moment. So speaking from the heart is clear and fluid. I spoke at my daughter’s wedding and it kept me up beforehand for weeks and I’d rather be more prepared next time for my next daughter’s wedding. What I said was well received with compliments but my heart was going a mile a minute. Thanks for sharing ER and I look forward to the discussion.
Thank you!! I have listened to your book "Pushing North" three times. I, too, have anxiety, and between your book and the videos, I understand that I can be in control.
Thanks for sharing this powerful message and your experiences, brother! So many similarities there...I was worried about being viewed as a victim, not being able to handle my own problems, placing the burden of my issues on my family, worried about the stigma of seeking mental health, and worried about how seeking help would impact my career. What I was completely missing was the impacts my failure to seek help were affecting my family. Seeking treatment helped...hiking helped....and sharing the details of my struggles and how I overcame them in my book (first time I shared a lot of those things) were hugely helpful! What I'm finding now...and what you may find now that you've shared your story here....is that the things I was most hesitant to share (or even admit) are the things that are resonating the most with others. And even more powerful are the messages form people who chose to seek help after hearing my story. You're helping others by sharing your story here, brother!!! I appreciate you. KEEP SHARING!!!
Good to see you back here. You were very influential in my Appalachian Trail hike. Though I wasn't able to complete it, I'm still hiking and what I learned from my experience led to other positive things in my life. One of which was confronting my anxiety. I was introduced to a form of therapy called Family Systems. At it's core it looks at the development of the individual as part of a family system where anxieties get passed along and can repeat through generations. I was unconsciously suffering from fear of abandonment. The anxiety affected my ability to develop strong relationships but I didn't have a clue as to what was happening. The ego is a master of disguises. Thanks so much for this post and I will check out your substack posts as well.
Trey, I found you through my interest in hiking and your AT hike. I've hiked the AT, PCT, LT and more. I find that long distance hiking, often solo, allows all the noise to drain from my mind and leave me in a peaceful state that I don't experience elsewhere. When I'm feeling stressed, I try to turn my thoughts to recollections of hiking when I was in the zone, not ruminating and feeling my heart is full. That beautiful feeling returns. All the best. ...Pritch
So good to see you, ER. I’ve been struggling with crippling anxiety lately. I suppose I’ve had mild anxiety off and on, but recently it has skyrocketed. Daily walks in the woods, gardening and beating on wood with hammers(and nails, building things) helps me a little. Improving every week. It takes much self reflection to be honest with so many people. And much strength to show the softer side. Kudos to you. Be well. 💙
It has been a lifetime of anxiety for me. Only once I realized that I didn’t have to live my life in that state did it change for me. Letting go of the thoughts has been the key. It’s an ongoing process. Thank you for creating awareness. I appreciate you, your honest chat and your channel.
The child in the buggy…I’ll forever relate back to that! Great example!
I grew up with perfectionist grandparents. Critical of even the simplest things. Parents were alcoholics, and never present.
I’m 52, riddled with anxiety, depression, and panic disorder. Basically, my whole life has felt like a big circus, except not an entertaining one. I’m the one in the spotlight, everyone watching, waiting for me to fail, to laugh, and be viciously critical. Like the circus animals, I’m consumed with the weight of chains, and being caged. I can feel quite hopeless at times that freedom is never achievable.
I’ve been in therapy, and on medication since 6th grade.
ER, thank you for sharing.
I’ve been working hard for years with self help, and I’ll continue to fight the ringleader of the circus in my head.
Keep the insightful videos, articles coming. ✌️
Happy Holidays
This is crazy timing! This week I have come to terms that my anxiety is out of control. Looking back I have always had it but life lately has really taken a toll on me. I look forward to hearing your process on what you do to manage it. Thanks for sharing!
The greatest thing I’ve found to help with my anxiety is doing an Ayahuasca ceremony. You don’t have to go out of country anymore. It’s now legal here. It’s helped me so much in so many ways.
100 percent anxiety girl here...oh and panic attacks. Tried meds, therapy, nothing works.....I have learned being alone is good for me, just me and my dog. ☺♥
A secret to anxiety is learning how to hear it in the story your mind is telling you and not latching onto that story. It's usually some story like "I'm less than others" or "I will be seen as incompetent to others." Therefore we often choose alone versus risk the interactions. I too choose alone alot. Just easier, but we also miss some great experiences. Just work on self compassion. It has worked wonders for me. Letting go of my perfectionism was the giant first step! 🕓
@@EarlyRiser71 Thank you so much. ☺
Anxiety is worry turned onto steroids and it can reach pathological levels. A little worry is a protective mechanism and is not pathological. When it is left unbridled it can wreck one’s confidence and ability to function, as you stated. Dale Carnegie wrote a book published in 1948 called “Stop Worrying and Start Living.” I recommend it to all who suffer from worry or anxiety.
Revisiting your channel since you finished the AT. Saw this video and it hit home.
When you live with anxiety your entire life…..it is your norm. Because you do not know any better. It kept me alive and mostly out of trouble. It served me well in the Infantry and as a nurse.
Now that I am older…..I feel the weight and the amount of abuse all that anxiety has inflicted on my body and spirit. How much it has robbed me.
I heard long ago that worry was not having faith in GOD. Even though I know this, understand it, and try to embrace it…..it is hard to let go of anxiety/worry.
Thanks for sharing. I going to rewatch your AT videos to prep for my SOBO July 2027. Motivation and wisdom earned by one who has shared it with us. Appreciate your videos.
Side note…..you said in a video “don’t be a liability to others “. This can apply to anxiety also. It is contagious to those we love.
I'm tracking with you brutha! Just started reading your first book after following your trails and chats over the past 4-5 years. Good stuff! We're kindred spirits but also quite different. I could not relate well with others (or especially my own kids as they struggled) with anxiety...until about 2 years ago. Something happened. rocked my world. Anxiety...rumination...catastrophizing...dread..."not enough-ness" became my new best friends and it has taken a lot of work (and section hiking) to dig into the true self...figure out the core wounds etc. Quite a journey. Faith has been a critical element for me (along with philosophy/stoicism, meditation, transcendent experiences in nature etc) but I would say faith was also a major obstacle in the process. Theology and religion can jack you up if your vision of God is off by even a fraction of degrees. Anyway...keep it coming. Blessings on your retirement journey where it could get mentally messier before it gets better. Our work (and so many other things) distract us from the tough inner work that needs to happen. I'm actually leaving in 2 days for a week-long section of the AT (100 miles) which will be my first winter sections attempt after hiking about half the trail (NOBO) so far. I'll be dealing with chattering teeth and the chattering mind! ;-)
Blessings,
@cbean71 (which means we're the same age, lol)
I really enjoyed listening to this Trey! Man you have an amazing way of explaining things. This is so true and definitely can relate. Anxiety can be a real problem and it can happen in many ways. Just for instance I just currently got back from the Adirondack Mountains as I climb their in the winter to bag Peaks trying to get my winter 46 46. I really enjoy hiking but sometimes I get the anxiety for some reason when I get out on the trail and I can see the top of that Peak or the trail going up to that Peak in the winter and it is very intimidating and anxiety starts playing with my head with my head in terms of I don't want to fall how am I going to get up this icy ledge or whatever the case may be and it really plays on your mind but sometimes you have to put that in the back seat and try to get ahold of your anxiety. But one standing on The Summit of that mountain it's like a sigh of relief but then it's only half over because you have to come down and then the anxiety picks up again. I truly enjoy all your videos. Thank you for sharing for sharing my friend!!!
Congratulations on your retirement, Trey. May you find peace and stillness.
Merry Christmas.
Thank you so much for your video!
I also suffer from anxiety, and when you said fear plus uncertainty equals anxiety, everything that I was fearful of came back, and it was an ah-ha moment! Other things bother me as well, but man, this sure hit home. Thank you for sharing! I recently got certified as a meditation practitioner, and I had to separate beliefs to go back to meditation and a time when I was calm. Thank you for sharing. I think a lot of people need to hear your message and at the right time! All the best!
Your thoughts are worth sharing. Thank you for admitting to anxiety! Must have been hard to put it out in this public forum. You’ve got guts. Be a meditation teacher. This was a great one! Keep these up.
That's what's strange, a large sect of humans experience it, and everyone is keeping it close-hold like it's some secret. It's just being a human. Thanks for the comment! ❤🕓
The fear of not being in control of my own mind (& subsequent physical panic reactions) & not able to get control back is debilitating. It’s the spiraling that makes me feel not as strong or capable as (what I convince myself) most others are. I was hoping you’d share your experiences learning to meditate (chatterbox minds are stubborn!) & how you find stillness. That journey is always what inspires me in hikes/challenges such as yours & others like Speilberg.
It's the desire for control that is a main obstacle. Let go. You will be fine. Letting go is the secret to our experience. We want to control everything but we aren't really controlling anything. Our minds are the only obstacle in life. ❤🕓
Great insights. You should do a podcast now that your retired. Get The Night Crawler as you first guest.
The trail provides and is patiently awaiting. Thanks for keeping it real.
Great Vlog! Very interesting subject of anxiety. My parents (God bless them) showed me love and all that, and there were expectations that had for me, and mainly it was that I be happy. That was very important to them because there was little else they required. It was wonderful I guess, because my friends and peers wished their parents were more like mine. I did realize that I stood out to others (which was mostly my own ego telling me that wasn’t all that great of a thing). I remember once in 2nd grade my teacher came by our table in the lunchroom, grabbed my fork and said in front of everyone, “Child! Don’t you know how to hold a fork? Did your parents not teach you this?”. Oh man! I crushed me. I totally played that tape over and over in my head for years! I didn’t want to be different from other kids (same as adults). I didn’t want anyone to know my vulnerability at anything, so I wore a mask (figuratively) to hide the real me. Talk about anxiety! Fast forward, I took medicine for anxiety for years, but now it seems I have made peace with what my parents did or didn’t do. I think now I have become exactly who I am, and while I still sometimes worry about nether people like, or dislike me, it boils down to what I think of me, and I happen to like me. I have some very good friends and I just hope you will enjoy your retirement as much as I am!😊
One of the things I learned about during my years as a paramedic was the concept of preventative medicine. If someone had just said, "Don't be a paramedic" and then explained why then maybe I could still have been plain old me. Early Riser strikes me as a man who knows a thing or two about PTSD and I'm sure he can confirm that it can cause you to struggle with everything.
I currently am on the mission to make just one thing fun again. It's a deceptively difficult task.
i have really missed your talks, i have had anxiety bad for the last 30 years lost all my self confidence,
I needed this!! So glad you’re back. Comes at perfect time for me 😕
Remember you often said go up in the balcony. Have spent plenty of time up in the balcony now hanging out with my ego.
Trey, please do not think I am trying to massage your ego with this comment; this is a cathartic confession of a realization that has boiled over and that which I have pondered and embraced. your videos resonate so very deeply and personally for me one many levels. You and Spielberg are the two that awakened a dream of mine that had laid dormant for way too many years. I have followed you since the beginning. I have learned an immense amount of information about all things hiking, but no information has been so valuable, priceless, timeless, and and is incredibly critical and significant to us as humans and the human condition. I continue to review your books and mine all the "gold nuggets that can help me achieve my dreams. everything you have said are the reasons why my 2018 Thru Hike went horribly sideways: 1.) not enough practice, physical and mental prep; not even realizing that the mental aspect and elopement were going to be the most challenging. This is what did me in and it hurt and stung very badly and festered like an infected wound. 2.) the complete inability to listen, to you, Craig, nomad, Zen who really did try to turn my hike around, and many others, I was way too much in my own head, in my own ass, even verbally telling people that I knew what I was doing, an explosion of "muchissmo" that I thought would carry the day, turns out it carried the "demons" that you speak about. It was this giant EGO that also consumed me, consumed my dreams, consumed my feelings, consumed my life, it trapped me in a terrible cycle that at that time I could not break out of. It made me feel like such a failure. 3.) I put way too much pressure and high expectations for myself and was constantly worried and anxious about not just letting myself down but letting everyone at home down the dreaded "I told you You was nuts for hiking the AT" plagued my mind like a disease and to return home in shame and have to hear that was dreadful. I wasn't even myself I was in some type of epic battle with myself. this was the beginning of my Anxiety Journey. Since then, I have had numerous severe physical troubles requiring a multitude of major surgeries of which 2 more are coming up. A major grasping of my Anxiety which in 2021 almost killed me, a complete life-changing, realizing how unhappy we were living where we were, so we returned home to New England, back to mid coast Maine where I am now with my clan, my people, Mrs AG, whom I owe more than a debt of gratitude to for being by my side with everything and not giving up on me but yet still supporting me and my dreams of getting back to hike the AT, eho unbeknownst to me would necome the biggest baddest badass weapon in my mental arsenal, more on that layer, and of course our beloved Bernese Mountain dog. I have also since opened my mind and heart through Meditation to be able to "Still" Myself and use Mindfullness Techniques to keep me in the NOW, the PRESENT, and keep me balanced. SHO - SHIN! OR FRESH MINDS. it has allowed me to slow down, really clear my mind and be able to really listen to others, synthesize my thoughts into coherent chunks and file them where I need to. Another big point you have made clear so eloquently. I have completely revamped all of my kit, every single piece into a dynamo of what exactly I need and a weight I can handle and have had it examined by several other veteran thru hikers that helped me tweak it even further. But, as you have again so eloquently said, there has been so many advances in gear to increase Hiker success, well then why are more hikers not being successful? it's all MENTAL! You have to have a total understanding and practice and prep for the mental stress and disturbances that ARE going to happen and know how and when to deploy meditation and mindfullness techniques to keep your ship righted again you have made this point abundantly clear. so what you are saying reads like a diary for me and my journey since 2018. I strongly believe you are onto major components of living a better, successful, fulfilled, life, uncluttered, quiet, effective and yet using your very unique skill set and intelligence to help others. I am from a military family and in fact my older brother just retired from USCG after 34 years, and it has been very interesting listening to you and watching him adjust to retirement and regular civilian life, it is such a massive juxtaposition. I am trying to talk him into returning to the AT with me to do the brotherly love journey being that he is all I have left of my bio family. that would be epic! I just really wanted you to know this and really connect with your past 2 videos. please Trey keep sharing because your story, your life, your experiences I know have a profound effect on many others, I have just stepped out of the dark shadows of Anxiety and hope others follow so they too can live a complete fulfilled life. Thank You Trey for being you
Thanks for sharing ER!
I’ve watched you since your AT hike. I’ve read your book twice. I commented on a video yesterday, and appreciated your feedback! Thank you for opening up, and showing me I’m not the only one. My anxiety was brought on by a violent father. After “failing” my two attempts at the AT, I’m at the point of following your advice, and subscribing to your Substack. Some questions I have are, inability to eat with chronic anxiety. Did that happen to you? While hiking…besides the loneliness, I had no appetite! And you know what happens when you don’t have any gas in your tank. Do you think by meditating and learning to embrace the now will help increase my appetite? Lastly, when you were pushing miles, were you aware of your anxiety? I always referred to you as a beast. Now, I apologize…as possibly that anxiety brought the beast out. I smile to make people think I’m happy, but deep down, I’m losing it! Thank you, ER!
💙🐦
Meditation will cure everything once you realize that anxiety is all made up stories in your head. That's the awareness that can come from a practice of sitting and becoming the watcher of your mind.
I had no anxiety on trail other than worrying about my family. Being in a strenuous environment is a perfect place to suppress fears and anxiety if you push hard every day. There will be no energy left to use towards fear. The loss of appetite most hikers feel is because they started so out of shape that their bodies don't know how to perform under stress and load. The best way to keep your appetite is to get in shape and stay in shape, not to hike, but to be a human. When your body gets pushed super hard on trail and you haven't primed it beforehand, suppression of appetite is going to happen. I am almost as ravenous on day 1 as on day 100. I would suggest to all humans... "Get in shape, stay in shape. Exercise is the panacea for nearly all ills. "🤘🕓
@@AT-Bluebird BTW, I started a meditation channel on TH-cam. Search for Trap Door Meditation and start there. I have 2 videos on there now.
I often find myself repeatedly exhaling like a woman in labor might do. It’s my body’s natural way of dealing with anxiety. Other times I need quiet, so the noise-canceling headphones go on. It’s most difficult to deal with at work, but a little quiet time in a bathroom stall helps.
Mr Free, thank you for your thoughts on this subject. This video came at a time when I've been struggling a little bit more than usual with these things. How did you get so far into your career while dealing with so much anxiety? I have a tendency to withdraw when I feel anxiety, and it gets me nowhere.
@spencerp7133 unfortunately, I used lots of alcohol in my earlier years. Withdrawal was my preference after I quit leaning on the booze. Don't get down about it. It's survivable. Just be willing to do the work.
I bet most men have anxiety for most of their lives. That just comes with the job. Got to keep the rent paid, groceries, car payments, all other needs. Am I wrong?
Maybe you could coach Tennessee 😂
Until they get rid of Heuple, they are stuck at 10-2 or 9-3 for eternity. Much like UGA and Mark Richt. 😅
We're you forced to retire, or was it an option ?
Nah, just chose to quit working. I can't draw my full pension from this job til I'm 62
I find people who have faith in God tend to suffer less from anxiety. You are constantly being taught that God loves you and that God’s will be done. If you already know that God’s will be done, then you know you are right where you belong at any given moment the good voice in your head is the Holy Spirit and the bad voice of doubt is the enemy. I am curious if the people you could apply anxiety to in your trainings were people of faith.