Buddha - Drop Your Pride, Overcome Anger
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 พ.ย. 2021
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ABOUT
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In this video, I talk about the Buddha, Buddhism, flourishing, justice, anger, and how to overcome it.
In The Dhammapada, Buddha says that a wise man is beyond anger and that anger leads to sorrow, and I explored this idea more deeply through a dialogue. I was interested in the complete elimination of anger from the mind, and here’s where I’ve arrived.
The root of anger is pride. Pride is the belief that the world “should” be a certain way. Pride is believing that people “should” conform to my expectations of them. So when I’m prideful, I constantly think, you shouldn’t do that. And this thought leads to anger, anger leads to alienation, and alienation leads to sorrow. But when you drop pride, you drop your expectations of the world, and when you drop your expectations of the world, you see the world as it is, and when you see the world as it is, your understanding of it improves, and it’s only through understanding that we can move towards true justice-the mutual flourishing of all things.
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FURTHER READING
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The Dhammapada by Buddha: geni.us/xQQG
NOTES
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(1) Videos are just my opinion, for entertainment and informational purposes. Just some things to think about-not advice.
(2) Some of the links in the description are affiliate links which I get a kickback from-at no extra cost to you. Eg - any Amazon links.
“Fear is the path to the dark side … fear leads to _anger_ … _anger_ leads to hate … hate leads to suffering.” --Yoda 😉
"life is suffering"
Discuss?
Literally thinking the same thing when he was discussing the tree of anger 😂
Hear hear.
Thank you for sharing.
and hate leads to sucking it
i use to watch xplay X)
To the *incredible person* seeing this, I wish you all the best in life❤ don't over blame yourself, accept things and go forward. Don't let others define what “success” is for you. Get up, learn the skills needed and get after it, all the keys to a happy life is in your hands. Keep pushing.
I wish you all the same
Why should anyone live up to [my] expectations? This flaw had destroyed my equanimity, productivity, and dignity in the past several years. I am trying to release this weakness.
Thanks for this. I plan on pushing forward, but any thoughts or advice for when confusion creeps nearby?
🙏🏽💖
@@DonnaSnydertrue, i just be learning to let it all go, I wish us all good luck
As someone who struggled heavily with
Anger in the past its okay to get mad. Its what you do when you are mad that defines everything
This is what I tell all my sponsees in the twelve step program I am a part of.
I have been less than able to stop or rid myself of my anger.
I strongly agree with you. Sometimes life become so stressful that you become mad or insane. However, I will restraint my act by for example going for a walk outside and talk to someone or alternatively I will listen to soothing music in the internet to contain my anger. Hope this advice will help somebody else to be a better person. 🕊️🕷️🤤🐻
The best way to deal with anger is to take it out in the gym and lift some heavy-ass weights! Which I'm about to do right now.
Also, weight lifting is great for relieving stress, controlling your emotions, staying focused, and in control.
It's the best kind of therapy for us men.
As long as you control your anger and don't let it go overboard where you get so caught up you are focusing more on yourself rather than the individual who made you mad, it's perfectly fine.
You shouldn't let people push you around in life, you need to stand up to them and show them that you have some damn teeth and that you won't put up with BS. Because if you do, they're just going to continue to walk all over you and take advantage of you.
Never let that be you.
I literally was discussing this today with my husband about my own anger in expectations. This is super synchronized for me lol. Thanks 😊
I feel the same way... Ive been pretty angry and this hit me right in my core situation. I can do things differently
I'm constantly angry lol now I finally can understand it better and try to make things different too, I wanna live in peace, not taking everything so seriously and understanding the world as it is 🌎
That's how it starts, the next is polygamy, congratulations, that's the true freedom in marriage
I want to free myself from anger in my marriage as well. As I listened to these words a thought I had was "what if my expectations are our wedding vows?"
Thoughts?
@@CaptainPhilosophical if it's about being faithful to eachother well you're staying faithful hoping in return that they do the same for you, so if they don't I believe that that is not justice so like the tree if Ur watering the plant hoping in return u get the fruit from it without hurting eachother in the process u should keep watering it but if it's a plant that doesn't grow fruits n Ur hoping for it to grow a fruit it's hopeless there's no point in watering it
Anger is surely one of the biggest hindrances to any form of success out there. First, get rid of the worst hindrances, and then the good things will almost happen automatically!
True but you can also channel your anger and impulses in a positive manner, mainly through work and projects. We all have aggressive impulses and we all have to deal with them some way or another. Working out is one of the best ways imo. It keeps you in check/balance when things get hard and you are under a lot of stress/pressure.
@@True38 i have a question what would you if someone caus pain to you...and you start to hate anything about him including his words and the way he talks..then you will be fear to use these words or hear it..but you have to because its a general words and live with this bad sitution every minute !!
@@mohammdbie6970 Easy, I don't take anything personally and suffer fools gladly :-) If you spend time holding a grudge and hating on someone else, that person has in fact power over you and is your Master.
There's nothing you can do to me that hasn't already been done to me throughout life. But I'm not a victim, I'm a truthful honest soldier and strategic warrior. The only thing that can really stand in my way is myself.
@@True38 what about narcissistic manipulative family members trying to hold you to familial obligations because they’ve done stuff for you in the past?
@@spajas8092 Just ignore them and move on with YOUR life and stop trying to please anybody else's life.
In general, you should never let anybody do you a favor in such a way that you feel obligated.
They are playing mind tricks on you, playing on your guilt, shame, and consciousness to make you feel bad.
You must inwardly laugh at such petty matters and never be influenced by such silly tactics.
They are just trying to use and control you. In life, you must learn to rely on your own arms, independence, and self-reliance by any means necessary.
If you don't have any of that, you are already doomed and a victim to everybody else around you. It is much better to be hated and feared than loved if it means you rely completely on yourself.
You can't please everyone anyway and you should never try to. Life is a game, there are winners and there are losers, and no one is inbetween.
Do what it takes to win.
What about social expectations? There are certain things that majority of people agree on. You can't help yourself from feeling angry, it's how you recognize and react to the anger that's important.
@Abika Ramdin Here's an example: Not following traffic regulations.
I expect somebody to stop at the red light.
I expect somebody to not cut me off.
The list goes on.
That's why you see so much anger on the roads.
Social expectations are created by common personal expectations (either formed from information or influence). For me, having expectations has no point at all, it is completely unnecessary compare to having motivation, inspiration, etc. As a teenager, I think I've spent the past years trying to know how to correctly respond to anger. Personally, I could say it's tough. But knowing the reason and the key to be free from anger, I believe was the best thing.
@@brendanvanbiljon3861 I was thinking something similar. Are we to imagine one won't be angry if someone blows through a stop sign and kills their child?
I also wanted to comment what you have commented. I have been tormenting myself for over a year now over a stupid fight between me and my relatives and I keep coming back to, "they JUST SHOULDN'T have behaved in the manner that they behaved in." Decency is a reasonable expectation that one can have, I believe. I have carried so much anger in me since then. I do not even know how to ease it
@Insomniacs you are so right! Diplomacy is so important when it comes to conflict resolution. And anger cuts the limbs of diplomacy and then the conflict is never settled
Every friday morning after getting my bus to my office... My first thing to do this watching the weekly videos of your channel. It give us the way for solve every problems we facing day by day. Thank you mentor ♥️☺️💪🏾
I've been really trying to regain my mindset prior to my mom's death last year and catching up on these videos is a great help thank you
I am sorry for your loss.
Peace be with you.
i work in a toxic company, being angry is the only way out
To live a better life, just be indifferent. All the pain and sorrow in the world will never affect you, not even if your own mom dies, no matter how close you were. Because you see the simple truth of life is this: YOU are the only one on this planet who truly matters, not your mom, not your father, not your brother, and not anyone else. It's only you. And your goal in life should always be doing what is best for YOU. If you have a good mom, then that's what she would have wanted for you also.
Life's a bitch but it's all about perspective and how you deal with it. Because the harsh reality is that few people in this world really care if you die. You would have to be some kind of Superstar who has influenced millions of people for people to really "care". But that's ok, most of us are not Superstars.
im so sorry for your loss and wish you the best
i'm fine with my anger. I enjoy being alone. I don't need anything outside of myself to be happy and content.
I'm the same way, although I strongly believe that you should always try to reach your full potential and go all out in life. It's much better than sitting around doing nothing, although that too I love at times, just being completely alone and listening to calm and beautiful music.
Anger isn’t overall terrible! But, anger is a double edge sword!
I use Anger to fuel my motivation. If you cannot turn anger into actionable change.. as one cannot overcome generational anger while children are still being murdered and abused in even the most first-world words of countries.
Positive emotions and negative emotions both have equal importance to live life
I met so many people who had a severe issue with pride.
I feel like theres a heavy difference between expectations of what you have for others and how your feel others should treat you.
I can’t get mad because someone does something I wouldn’t do, I know we have different ways of navigating life. When it comes to who I keep around, talk to, etc, I have every damn right to have expectations especially when I put boundaries, and express how I feel calmly when they do something that hurts me or is disrespectful. I have no issue isolating from people who do no good for me as I do for them.
There’s no anger, just protecting my peace of mind.
The argument about "I need to have expectation that something I eat is safe" is not addressed at all, yet it is central - some expectations are not purely egoisitical and self-centered, but group-centered. Why is "people should not sell dangerous food" not an expectation ? It's even more than an expectation, it is written into "law", which is kinda the "expectations" that the society as a whole decides to live by. If someone breaks this expectation, maybe anger is not the right answer ; but I fail to see how "letting go of the expectation" leads to anything but apathy, despair and nihilism.
Fr.
There's a fine line between "letting all things be with no expectations, vs being a control freak, getting upset when u can't control everything, or certain things don't go ur way."
-You have to know when it's okay to let things be as they are. BUT also when to call things out, or stick up for yourself. It's not healthy to fully have "No expectations" and let everything go, - But also not healthy to 'hold onto everything' and get angry about it.
He addressed it at about 5 min in, specifically. It's about rethinking and contextualizing the definition of "expectiation"
@@legendaryzodiac574 that is just so he can continue with his viewpoint, doesn't make it right though.
Same as i can say anger is just the feeling not the action. You can be angry for an injustice that will que you that something is not ok.
He presents anger in video as always being an action.
See i also defined anger as something slightly different without changing anger as it is.
It's all in how you present or twist something.
I'm usually not angry at other people. Most of the times I just don't care. I feel anger because I don't live upto my expectations. I ask myself "why are you so bad at this. You have spent so hours on the same thing and still you repeating same mistakes"( I'm a gamer and a science student). When I'm filled with rage I usually avoid people because I know I will shout at them or say something I don't mean. If I drop expectations for myself then how I'm going to get better at what I do?
Please share your thoughts on this
Hi there, having expectations and getting better is different thing. Having expectations meaning you set on something and you don't want to get any less than that. Getting better, just simply improve anything you want. For example, you feel this part of you lacking, then you make it better without expecting anything else. Having expectations is just standard, in which you can choose to use or not. But getting better is improving, innovating, and letting go of something unimportant and totally unrelated.
Have a great day, and think about this wisely. I hope you'll get some answer you need.
This video is talking about dropping the expectation of others, something you can't control. You are setting some standards or expectations for yourself. I guess you need to understand why you are making the same mistakes without progressing. I suggest you can watch other videos like "How to Get Unstuck" or "The Myth of "Working Hard". You may need to look in different ways and find another path for you to make progress. I hope you will stop your rage when you are trying things differently.
@@seeissee I think expectations and getting better goes hand in hand. To expect from yourself is to have a vision, a goal which has to be achieved. And getting better is working on your goals. Think about this - you wake up in the morning. You expect from yourself to work on your project for 7 hours. That's your goal for the day. And you will get better if you work towards your goal each day. I hope this makes sense to you. Thanks for your advice ❤️🙏
@@sandrawong421 thanks 👍🏽. I will watch your suggested videos
It is possible to do what you love and not have expectations. It is possible to learn from your mistakes and not have expectations also. So, do what you love and you'll become less concerned of the outcome and maybe this will broaden your perspective and see the mistakes that you think you are making.
It takes courage to drop expectations and pride. This empowers us and makes life more feasible. Courage is the next level of consciousness in David Hawkins Power Vs. Force. Thank you for these videos. You do great work!
Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hatred. Hatred leads to wrath. And wrath leads to suffering.
After adding self worth in this equation, this teaching could really fit in today's world. However we should not get confused between our self worth and pride. Someone without self worth and pride will be ill treated repeatedly and only a person with self worth will know when to walk away.
Anger is like a fire. It can become incredibly hot and can destroy everything if it's not controlled. But anger, after a while, diminishes and goes away.
Hatred, instead, does not. Hate is like acid, it eats through everything and does not diminish. Hatred is anger turned disease, it's very difficult to remove and can pass generation to generation.
Both anger and hatred can be weaponized as tools for mental focus towards a desired objective, but hatred destroys much more than what it may protects or helps to achieve.
In my views anger is to be controlled and used for everyone's best interest, while hatred must not exist in anyone's "heart".
I have come to situation in my life where “I can water the tree but the tree will not give me fruits because it is already dead” at first it made me angry, because I invested so much effort, but received nothing… During this video I realized that I’m attached to my investment, and therefore I thought that I deserve the “fruit” by default. I know that any kind of attachment will lead to suffering. Even if not directly but thanks for reminding to me that.
Anger is something we need to work on because it prevents alot of things we might later regret from happening.
Stumbled upon this bc I woke up angry today. And while listening to this, my anger turned into tears. Most of the time I mask sadness with anger so I, can be headstrong and motivated. However it gets tiring sometimes, so I meditate. I don't usually show feelings, so internalizing and hearing these words really helped.
Subscribing.
Thank you ❤️
Can relate to this, I've always been angry at the world for not meeting my expectations calling anyone incompetent if they don't.
I have also used anger as a coping mechanism whenever I'm sad, thinking how unjust the situation was and to stop hurting and crying I resorted to anger to stop the pain and to feel motivated.
I guess it's really true that everybody shares the same problems you've just never met them.
@@RemRise you are both dumb. Sorry "unwise"
His voice is soooo serene!
I feel as if you cracked open my mind. Finally I understand anger, and how I can do away with it.
Pride, expectations. Thank you.
Personally, I am not sure whether my anger is caused by expectations. I actually believe it is mainly due to the disruption of my peace. I do not expect people to act certain way, just do not want them to bother me nor interfere with my life.
But you’re the one allowing them to disturb your peace
@@shae6101 hard to ignore when the goverment is taking away your freedom or your loved one getting killed and knowing the murderer will not be punished because the law is corrupt or your child raped and the rapist being protected by the law ( diplomats) and so on..
Anger has a purpose.. how we act on it is what defines us...
@@voidspirit111 Yeah it’s hard, my perception may be really warped but in my eyes the world will always have these serious frustrating things we can’t do anything about. I see it as everything happens for a reason and it’s a time to grow or to push ourselves to do best with what is in our control. Animals are dying the world is being destroyed humanity is slowly crumbling no one is opening their eyes. No one knows the secrets of the universe what will happen how these things work out but it’s all made up and none of it actually matters and dwelling on these things doesn’t change anything. All we can do is do our best to be our best. No point in feeling shitty. Nothing makes sense nothing is fair and nothing matters just so what you need to heal and feel better in the moment but inflicting pain and anger on others just throws it all back on you until it’s a built up ball of hate growing and growing being thrown around earth
@@voidspirit111 I know baby ❤️ I’ve just been around anger too long, I’m living in a dream world where love is more powerful and above all 🎭
"When you let go expectations, your mind can see the world for what it is, and when you see the world for what it is, your mind gets better at predicting, and when your mind gets better at predicting, you get better at navigating the world, and when you get better at navigating the world, you can find your way to true justice."
The main lesson. Thank you.
Man I love this place
idk what these videos are doing to me but i’m not complaining about finding this channel
Great video! I would like to add that anger is a natural reaction of the body to irritation not expressed in time. Irritation is an indicator that something is wrong, as is pain. Therefore, it is important to delve into the cause in time and express your emotions "eco-friendly".
That adds up to what Jim Carey told about depression. Thing is, Ive been there, and i still hold a lot of pain, even if the anger decreased.
It can be.
Your words add up to all of what I've learned about anger.
They should play this on every channel on TV for the next year. The world, and America, where I live, needs it.
Thank you 🙏 💜 💕
This is just what I needed.
In the therapy world, we commonly ask, "how's that working out for you?" It is objectively NOT accurate to say that anger never has any function or positive result. It IS helpful to consider those functions and positive results, and to ask if there is a different, better way to fulfill those functions/achieve those positive results WITHOUT the negative outcomes that may also come with them. Very much in the same way that a drug might be a reliable and effective "means to some ends," and just happens to carry a mountain of harm along with it. The impulse may not be the way, is the heart of it.
*I also sometimes think about anger but this video takes us to a deeper level. Amazing!*
Anger is a secondary emotion.
The word "should" is irrational.
Thank you. I've been learning Stoicism and Buddhism for the last 2 years. Anger is one of the weaknesses that I often feel. I still need to learn a lot to control my anger.
Thank you
Thank you !!!!
In Bouddha's philosophy, he said that : imagine if someone gives you a present and you refuse to take it. Who gets back the gift at the end ? The present is gets back to the giver. So if someone insults or judges you, you can be anger against this person or as the present, you can refuse to accept that insult or judgement.
So.. how would.this go if someone kills a loved one or takes away your house? ( say in a countey where he dosen't get punished due to corruption)
You must be numb or not care for any of the things i mentioned to not get angry.
Thank you very much! Really brought clarity to a problem I’ve been trying to, but unable to solve through contemplation. Much love 💗
Thank you. 🙏
Thank you for this video!!
This video makes me feel a lot of anger.
Thank you, these videos are always so peaceful
Been through this road and dug deep on my own for my cause of anger and resentment. It's so fulfilling that my conclusions/observations are corroborated by your explanation. Drop the expectations, thus dropping desire. And as buddha said "Desire is root of all suffering ".
Expectation it’s the key word for me I expect people to respect me and when I feel disrespected I get angry and anger turns into hate and hate turns into isolation and bitterness that is so true I can not live with expectations that’s dangerous thank for this video it really helped me out
Ooh, another piece of perfection
Thank you so much for that video
My favt philosopher Gautam Buddha ♥️
Wonderful video! Thank you!
Anger poisons the mind leading to Isolation. This is me ...This video resonates with me
Thank you for made this video
Thanks!
I really appreciated this video. Please keep exploring your dialogues. They convey ideas in such a powerful way.
So glad I found this channel! Always posted much needed content
This is one of the top 3 channels worth watching for personal imporvement.
Gracias
My niece says she loves the animation in this video. It is quite helpful. Thank you for helping us overcome anger.
Thanks for this summary, it is very rich
Man...this was really good. The internal dialog of should we all carry around is powerful and unique to each of us. Many times expectations aren't communicated to the other person and when not met cause anger etc. The "I'm not a mind reader" excuse makes a lot of sense here. Most often a person isn't trying to be malicious, anger is a result of personal expectation. Better communication and asking questions is good medicine here for both sides. And to me expectations and compatibility go hand in hand.
Thanks
Thank you. You really help me broaden my scope of thought.
Do not completely get rid of anger. You can forget what it is used for and can lose the ability to use it where it needs to be, a semblance of when and where are required to make emotions useful, we were given the ability to have emotion, and all of them have a purpose, getting rid of your anger is not the key, controlling it so it is shown in the proper scenarios is as close to the key as you're able to get. Manage it, because it may be horrible the consequence if you cannot show any at all.
Such a great video. Thanks you
Perfeito para o meu momento.
Your videos have really given me a new perspective of life. I am forever thankful to you and your work 🙌🏾
This video saved my life thank you this was like God talking to me through this
Wow didn't expect this
Thank you.
Thank you for this!
beautiful....i was doing shadow work and came across this... i was unable to describe my feelings.... but this video was exactly what i was looking for..gratitude to you...love and light
I will be forever grateful to you and your channel for teaching such complex topics in such great detail and with such simplicity 😍
Much love and power to you!!
thank u
Thanks so much. You are doing amazing things fir my life.
Needed this
Bro please start uploading your work on Spotify, it will really help me. Because I want to reduce my screen time and I also want to listen to you.
Thank you for this video and for making effort to show us something you discovered and interpretation of it, it makes my heart feels better, I can understand it better now (the anger and pride relation), this was necessary ❤️
this is just mind opening, I have to give it some thoughts
this came at a great time in my life...but, i do wonder what about contracts and agreements? what about when these are broken? Not saying that this will necessarily leads to unbridled anger.
But i also wonder how this plays into economic and social injustice. Isn't complacency at the suffering of others an issue? Is it possibly an issue that wasn't as relevant for the Buddha? I mean, what would he say if he lived amongst the oppressed communities of minorities in the US?
I can see how this would apply for a privileged individual...but I am worried about how this might be applied to others' suffering, passivity, ignorance, and apathy being the replacement of anger and empathy in this scenario. Thoughts?
He didn't live in a hopless world/situation.. i wonder how you apply this to human trafficking victims. Before they become numb i am sure they have anger.. only after they lose hope they lose the anger..
Or how can you not be angry if your loved one gets killed and the murderer is free cause the system is corrupt.
In my opinion anger is needed. How you act on it is what defines you.
Thank you! :)
thank you for this video. very powerful
Thank you for sharing. You are doing a great work! God bless you.
Amazing
Thank you for the Video. So well done.
Anger and pride is also a hurdle in the way of learning and exploring new things also.
great information video. thank you very much.
It's really helpful 🥺
Love it! Thank you for sharing. I am loving this Buddha series, please keep making more! :)
Excellent video.
Thanks so much for your work
This is just beautiful, thank you 🥲
this was much needed, perfectly timed video
How can you clear all my doubts dude?
Thankyou so much brother,
Keep uploading✌ keep growing
So so good!
This is what I want to show my children
i cant.. finish watching..
i can't let go of this Anger
rooted in UNFAIR treatment
i need justice, i need fairness
but.. i can't do anything about it now 😔
i feel stepped on
I love you and people like you, takijg the time to not only develop theyr own mind with wisdom aquired trough study, but also taking the time and putting in the effort to spread it to many people, everyone needs to challange theyr views and understand what these are, and who they themselves are, however very few people have the time and willingness to study, you and others like you are heroes in this day and age, even if sometimes we don't agree on your interpretations and understanding, perhaps disagreeing is a good thing, if it doesn't lead to anger of course.
Thank You
THIS IS THE BEST VIDEO