Even though I don't put on the ace label, I love this community. Like, they make you ask questions about a whole lot of aspects of relationships that are generally either taken for granted or seen in a very 0-1 way. I love that exploratory attitude of the ace community.
I've never had confusion between friendship and romance cause I've always seen my friends as siblings. I'm ace and maybe aro... I do have confusion between aesthetic attraction and romantic attraction. Like do I wanna just stare at a person cause they're attractive or I wanna stare cause I wanna be with them!? It's so confusing at times ugghhh, especially with celebrity crushes (even though I know I can't be with them lol but still).
I can relate so much feeling like you could live with a friend for the rest of your life. I identify as a-spec (not too sure about micro labels so this feels the most comfortable) and I had one flatmate I used to live with and I always tell her even now that I miss living with her, that she was the best flatmate I ever had and honestly if we happened to live together again in the future I would absolutely love that. But there are no romantic feelings from me and she has a boyfriend (and is cishet). Also talking to allo friends made me realize how they mostly view (from who I talked to) sex as /intimacy/ like there is nothing else that's intimate for them than that while for me... I consider a lot of other things as initmate.
It’s soo complicated putting labels, and it makes me anxious because i feel like every relationship i have is so unique and my attachment to different people is on a spectrum, at the end of the day i kinda think a bit in terms of how committed the relationship is in some ways as how romantic it is because i feel like commitment is the most important thing for me over sexual acts even though i long for those as well.
its a super hard thing to explain an emotion to someone in words. communication is both humanity's strength and a person's weakness. ive been on a search tonight about whether im aro and i think im realizing i have never felt this romantic feeling and its just jarring realizing how difficult it'll be to understand someone else's defintion. i believe my whole life ive only had 'squishes' and considered those romantic briefly. thanks for sharing this.
This resonates so much to me that I have to write this comment, thank you! I am also in a friendship that still confuses me sometimes (I am demi), because we also cuddle each other and enjoy sleepovers. But honestly this is the most romantic thing ever. Searching each others company voluntarily over and over again and not because we said "ok we are a couple now". Kind of a relationship anarchist approach if you see it from another perspective, and ideally allo couples approach this too I think (because they say choose a partner thats "like a best friend") but disappointment starts when the butterflies and physical attraction start to crumble and so friendships are really the most beautiful relationships there can be and I think ace people see that because this sexual component that is also strongly linked to a partriarchal definition of desire is not distorting the viee towards the other
OOooh sooo relatable - I struggle to know whether what I feel could be defined as romantic some time.. I tend to think that I am completely aroace but there are times where I am not sure at all.
Hi, I am trans non-binary (they/them pronouns) and questioning if I am ace/demisexual. I’ve been watching a lot of your asexuality videos to help me understand where I am on the ace spectrum and they are super helpful btw! This one in particular made me wonder because I also live with my Roommate. I know I love her platonically because she’s my best friend but I’m confused because I think I love her romantically too. She inspires my soul but I also think about kissing her. I don’t feel sexual attraction for her or anyone else really because I still want to sleep in my bed alone but it’s so hard to figure out the difference. Of course it’s hard to live with her and be so confused about our interactions all the time. Regardless, I appreciate your videos and hearing you talk about this stuff.
Before going on my Ace Adventure I was very curious as to what Love felt like. The only explanations I really got were along the lines of Worring about someone, thinking about them a bunch, being constantly concerned for them, ect. It was mostly made to sound like a bad thing. This explanation sounds WAY better ^_^ Thank you so much for this video series it's really helping me work things out a bit ^_^ That and the pinned post in r/Asexuality ^^;
Yes, what horrible explanations of love. Love is a positive, warm emotion that puts warm blood in your cheeks. When you're under the emotion, you only want to see the object of your love bloom like a flower. The closest other emotions to it are "care" or "compassion" in which you desire to see the end of suffering and an increase in joy in the object of your compassion. Have you ever had a puppy or a baby around? I find it's quite natural to feel love toward them.
@@-whackd I have my Sister's kids in my life (7months-4) and I don't really feel anything for them. I mean I don't want anything bad to happen to them and it's super annoying when they cry, so I try to keep them happy. Do you think there's something wrong with me??
How do I know if Im aromantic. The way you described love about the soul, that's the way I feel love for others (you called that platonic love). I also have a roommate and love her, she is my Mum.
5:10 Blurred lines and different forms of attraction/affection is me. I don't like labels or sticking to definitions either. I may be more of a "demisexual" or "queerplatonic" focused individual, but I'm not against "romance" or sex. The emotional bond is more important to me, which is why I guess I always blur lines.
I like this guy and I've been wanting to ask him out but i dont know where I'd go from there, ive only been in one relationship before but that relationship was mostly hugging and holding hands and things like that, and that relationship made me realise i really don't like physical touch at all, i prefer deep conversations and having fun times together, but isnt that just what you'd do with a friend? I don't really have a lot of experience with friends either so that makes it even harder to distinguish what the difference is between friends and romantic relationships. I'm now doubting asking that guy out because i simply have no clue what to do after that, if he says yes
I’m so confused about my romantic identity. I think I’ve had like 2 ish romantic crushes, but I’m very bad at identifying them. And they’ve always been on guys, but now I think I might have one on a girl (my best friend) and I’m really confused. I definitely like her more than my other friends, but is that because she’s my best friend, or is it romantic attraction? I… think I love her. Regardless of what type of love I feel for her, it’s definitely really strong, a very strong bond. I guess I’m grey/Demi biromantic?
I feel the confusion in this comment and I wanted to say I resonate so much! (I am also In love with my best friend who is also my roommate) it’s very hard to understand the difference with romantic attraction and platonic attraction because both feel so strong for her in particular. Ahhh why is it so hard to figure out 😖
GOD I RELATE TO YOU SO BADDD. i think wouldn't hv been so horrible if society hadn't pushed this one narrative that romantic attraction has to have sexual attraction mixed with it ugh.
That was interesting your comments have been. I'm sexually active but trying to find where the dividing line is between friendship and relationship is so complex with online dating.
![กิโลเมตรที่ 0 เดินทางรอบโลกไม่ใช้เครื่องบิน [Around The World Ep. 1]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/toJG9oofLFY/mqdefault.jpg)
Even though I don't put on the ace label, I love this community. Like, they make you ask questions about a whole lot of aspects of relationships that are generally either taken for granted or seen in a very 0-1 way. I love that exploratory attitude of the ace community.
I feel like this is a complicated issue especially with demi individuals. And this is coming from someone who is dating their best friend of 5 years.
"inspiring" is such a good word choice, i've never heard someone describe my aspec platonic attraction so well
I've never had confusion between friendship and romance cause I've always seen my friends as siblings. I'm ace and maybe aro... I do have confusion between aesthetic attraction and romantic attraction. Like do I wanna just stare at a person cause they're attractive or I wanna stare cause I wanna be with them!? It's so confusing at times ugghhh, especially with celebrity crushes (even though I know I can't be with them lol but still).
I can relate so much feeling like you could live with a friend for the rest of your life. I identify as a-spec (not too sure about micro labels so this feels the most comfortable) and I had one flatmate I used to live with and I always tell her even now that I miss living with her, that she was the best flatmate I ever had and honestly if we happened to live together again in the future I would absolutely love that. But there are no romantic feelings from me and she has a boyfriend (and is cishet). Also talking to allo friends made me realize how they mostly view (from who I talked to) sex as /intimacy/ like there is nothing else that's intimate for them than that while for me... I consider a lot of other things as initmate.
It’s soo complicated putting labels, and it makes me anxious because i feel like every relationship i have is so unique and my attachment to different people is on a spectrum, at the end of the day i kinda think a bit in terms of how committed the relationship is in some ways as how romantic it is because i feel like commitment is the most important thing for me over sexual acts even though i long for those as well.
This was so helpful. Thank you for putting this discussion out there!
Im aroace and have been struggling with attraction too, tysm for helping me figure some stuff out !!
its a super hard thing to explain an emotion to someone in words. communication is both humanity's strength and a person's weakness. ive been on a search tonight about whether im aro and i think im realizing i have never felt this romantic feeling and its just jarring realizing how difficult it'll be to understand someone else's defintion. i believe my whole life ive only had 'squishes' and considered those romantic briefly. thanks for sharing this.
This resonates so much to me that I have to write this comment, thank you! I am also in a friendship that still confuses me sometimes (I am demi), because we also cuddle each other and enjoy sleepovers. But honestly this is the most romantic thing ever. Searching each others company voluntarily over and over again and not because we said "ok we are a couple now". Kind of a relationship anarchist approach if you see it from another perspective, and ideally allo couples approach this too I think (because they say choose a partner thats "like a best friend") but disappointment starts when the butterflies and physical attraction start to crumble and so friendships are really the most beautiful relationships there can be and I think ace people see that because this sexual component that is also strongly linked to a partriarchal definition of desire is not distorting the viee towards the other
OOooh sooo relatable - I struggle to know whether what I feel could be defined as romantic some time.. I tend to think that I am completely aroace but there are times where I am not sure at all.
Thank for this video, helped me understand a bitbetter my mindset on the difference between love and friendship
this. this video. i understand so much now oh my gods thank you so much is clear now.
Hi, I am trans non-binary (they/them pronouns) and questioning if I am ace/demisexual. I’ve been watching a lot of your asexuality videos to help me understand where I am on the ace spectrum and they are super helpful btw! This one in particular made me wonder because I also live with my Roommate. I know I love her platonically because she’s my best friend but I’m confused because I think I love her romantically too. She inspires my soul but I also think about kissing her. I don’t feel sexual attraction for her or anyone else really because I still want to sleep in my bed alone but it’s so hard to figure out the difference. Of course it’s hard to live with her and be so confused about our interactions all the time. Regardless, I appreciate your videos and hearing you talk about this stuff.
maybe an alterous attraction
Before going on my Ace Adventure I was very curious as to what Love felt like.
The only explanations I really got were along the lines of Worring about someone, thinking about them a bunch, being constantly concerned for them, ect.
It was mostly made to sound like a bad thing.
This explanation sounds WAY better ^_^
Thank you so much for this video series it's really helping me work things out a bit ^_^
That and the pinned post in r/Asexuality ^^;
Yes, what horrible explanations of love. Love is a positive, warm emotion that puts warm blood in your cheeks. When you're under the emotion, you only want to see the object of your love bloom like a flower. The closest other emotions to it are "care" or "compassion" in which you desire to see the end of suffering and an increase in joy in the object of your compassion.
Have you ever had a puppy or a baby around? I find it's quite natural to feel love toward them.
@@-whackd I have my Sister's kids in my life (7months-4) and I don't really feel anything for them.
I mean I don't want anything bad to happen to them and it's super annoying when they cry, so I try to keep them happy.
Do you think there's something wrong with me??
How do I know if Im aromantic. The way you described love about the soul, that's the way I feel love for others (you called that platonic love). I also have a roommate and love her, she is my Mum.
5:10 Blurred lines and different forms of attraction/affection is me. I don't like labels or sticking to definitions either.
I may be more of a "demisexual" or "queerplatonic" focused individual, but I'm not against "romance" or sex. The emotional bond is more important to me, which is why I guess I always blur lines.
I like this guy and I've been wanting to ask him out but i dont know where I'd go from there, ive only been in one relationship before but that relationship was mostly hugging and holding hands and things like that, and that relationship made me realise i really don't like physical touch at all, i prefer deep conversations and having fun times together, but isnt that just what you'd do with a friend? I don't really have a lot of experience with friends either so that makes it even harder to distinguish what the difference is between friends and romantic relationships. I'm now doubting asking that guy out because i simply have no clue what to do after that, if he says yes
Thank you so much!
Omfg you’re just like me and I’m screaming 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
0:18 I'm not I'm just autistic LOL
I’m so confused about my romantic identity. I think I’ve had like 2 ish romantic crushes, but I’m very bad at identifying them. And they’ve always been on guys, but now I think I might have one on a girl (my best friend) and I’m really confused. I definitely like her more than my other friends, but is that because she’s my best friend, or is it romantic attraction? I… think I love her. Regardless of what type of love I feel for her, it’s definitely really strong, a very strong bond. I guess I’m grey/Demi biromantic?
I feel the confusion in this comment and I wanted to say I resonate so much! (I am also In love with my best friend who is also my roommate) it’s very hard to understand the difference with romantic attraction and platonic attraction because both feel so strong for her in particular. Ahhh why is it so hard to figure out 😖
GOD I RELATE TO YOU SO BADDD. i think wouldn't hv been so horrible if society hadn't pushed this one narrative that romantic attraction has to have sexual attraction mixed with it ugh.
That was interesting your comments have been. I'm sexually active but trying to find where the dividing line is between friendship and relationship is so complex with online dating.
Thank you sharing 11 years old m not know the difference ❤
With your flatmate it could be whats called a Womance or Sismance the opposite of a Bromance.
Eu sempre fui amigo da Sara mas eu me apaixonei por ela
Is there one?
no sounds
I'm heterosexual homoromantic
I'm interested in hearing about your experiences (if you feel comfortable with sharing them, of course)