A friend is someone your spouse will be happy to introduce to others in their close emotional circle, including you. An emotional affair partner is someone they will keep secret, usually just to themselves.
My bf has had girl "friends" for years that he is just now telling me about because he's claimed, "You don't have to know every single person I talk to."
100% correct!! My ex had a "friend" she hid from me. He ended up with her as her new supply and me, well as her ex! If you're uncomfortable with a relationship your partner has with somebody if they care and love you they will listen to your concerns and adjust that relationship accordingly! If not, and that is a boundary of yours then it's time to evaluate if you want to stay in a relationship with someone who dismisses your concerns!
@@firsttbone lve been telling mine for years that lm not comfortable but he doesn't understand how deeply it hurts, lve been next to his phone when she messages and the few lve seen like 'hi Hun have a good day' at 7am before he's even said good morning to me makes me die inside.
I had a partner who i caught sending “i love you, i need to see you” texts……she tried to explain it away as “oh, that’s just how we talk to each other…they’re just words” Needless to say, I walked away from that disloyal dumpster fire.
If you survey random people, women almost always say that men and women can be friends, while men nearly always say the opposite. There's a reason for that disparity. These so-called friends are the first men to be there for the woman when her marriage has any rough patch or crisis. An ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, a pair of hands to massage the stress away, a bed to forget about him for a while...
Just one more thing to add, why do some people bring their marriage to the rough patch or crises in the first place? Be a man of good character and please avoid negativity bias. I had taken part in a lot of surveys and I can tell that their sample size and how they pick people itself is flawed. Please avoid negativity bias and focus on building a good character and values so that the marriage doesn’t get into a rough patch in the first place
Idk that's a bit too much brainwashed into pessimism. My male friends have been advising me on potential boyfriends and I guided also them through good and bad days in their relationships... I saw them getting in and out of relationships and they saw my ups and downs too and we support each other. Human is a social being. Men can be friends. ❤
If you really love your friend you would never harm him/her. I have a very attractive female friend and we used to meet a few times a year. We became friends way before she got married and her husband seemed to be ok with our friendship but when he finally told her it made him uncomfortable we stopped meeting, her husband's peace of mind was obviously more important than seeing her. I don't feel like the friendship is over though. We do exchange very short texts every once in a while
We have to be mindful that the question of “am I a good friend to my spouse….so they don’t feel the need to look elsewhere” doesn’t become a justification for what is a lack of accountability on their part with an absence of protective measures, boundaries, commitment and open communication.
Absolutely! We actually refer to boundaries as STOPs and COREs. A STOP is a Safeguard That Offers Protection. A CORE is a Continuing Our Relationship Essential. Setting a STOP or a CORE is a great thing to do in order to hold each other accountable if something is damaging the relationship. But by being a good friend to our spouse, it allows them to feel safe to come to you when they are struggling with something, and to move towards liking, loving and respecting you as a person. Which also happens to be exactly why people typically want OUT of a marriage. They don't feel liked, loved or respected. That's why advise you work on being a friend! Then the harder issues can be dealt with in the marriage.
Most spouses are so clueless. If I constantly neglect my spouse and take advantage of my spouse in any way, then I really shouldn't be surprised when a home wrecker shows up to swoop my hubby up.
This perfectly illustrates what happens. Usually fear driven reactions tend to derail what we share with each other. The long term affect unfortunately pushes some to look elsewhere for guidance. The key is healthy boundaries, public places and think with your conscious mindset (adult/angel) verses your unconscious (child/evil) mindset. Then openly share with your spouse what transpired. Remember your spouse is your best friend. They are your safe and familiar place. They’re your home. Don’t burn your home down so you can live in a temporary apartment.
Why would you even tempt yourself by going out with someone other than your spouse? The boundary should be set by only going out with your spouse - Alone that is.
@@JeremyCarnahan Of course you have no idea if your spouse *may* not want new 'roommates' unless you ask, right? Since some people clearly do function well with various forms of non-monagamy, including polyamory. It might not exactly be my cuppa but that doesn't mean everyone has the same attitudes, desires and dysfunction that I do.
The end of the video is unfair to the cheated spouse. If someone's spouse is unwillingly to end a friendship that makes the other spouse uncomfortable, there is NOTHING we can do but preserve our dignity.
My now former wife is a covert narcissist and maintained “friendships” with several former male “friends”. She had a group of friends I knew and knew me, but a group that was hidden!
Only thing spouses are 100% dependent on each other for is physical intimacy. Can get any type of support from family, counselor, platonic friends. Definition of emotional cheating is turning to someone you're potentially attracted to for support that spouse should give you. Its esp toxic if bad mouthing spouse, which is really what leads to problems
Honestly emotional infidelity hurts more than physical one. In many physical ones, it was in heat of moment and due to primal desires. No strings attached. But emotional one takes time and constant effort. You cannot come back from that. I’m not saying physical cheating is in any way not hurtful but I think I would be much more devastated if my partner was seeking peace from someone else, telling them about his deep feelings rather than if he just slept with them one night.
@@TomikaKelly yeah I agree. Emotional infidelity hurts but I don't put it on the level of physical affairs. Although emotional affairs lead to physical affairs.
Omg I once dated a guy who had a female best friend and felt so uncomfortable! It was clear that even his family was confused as to what either of them were doing dating other people when the generational values were clearly “marry your best friend”. She wasn’t as svelte as I was so I got that he didn’t realize how attracted he was to her but he lit up anytime and every time she came up. Lit up and relaxed. I told him, “you should marry your best friend.”
@@brightpage1020 Glad you dumped him! I hope he got with her or realized how toxic his behavior with his spouses was in regards to her so he didn’t keep hurting more women.
I think that most affairs start with a friendship. So no surprise that this is a red flag. Why should you wait until a line is crossed to end the friendship? It's always right at the line from the beginning. You stand on the edge of the cliff and saying "I'm safe here".
Also, if you have an attactive friend, you should ask yourself, "If this person wasn't attactive, would I still want to be friends with them?" If the answer is "no," you aren't really friends.
Yes, you say you have male "friends" and you can handle it in your marriage with your husband.............. ok.............but would those wives of your male "friends" also have no issues with you? Think about it.
@@Phaedrus-th7bi sometimes spouses (both wives and husbands) have unreasonable jealousy. Not being okay is not a proof of the partners or friends being in the wrong - yes if the spouse continues to see this friend they are choosing personal needs over relationship and are not being sacrificial. But the spouse being irresponsibly jealous or possessive is not being emotionally mature either, or it could be that the relationship is not a secure one in the first place.
My husband turns to his female friend emotional support, and not mine, not because I am not there for him, but because she was there long before I was. And he recently told me that she is staying in his life forever. She.
Then you unfortunately don’t share any emotional and mental intimacy and attraction to one another. And it shows that he likes and loves this friend much more than he likes and loves you. I think this is grounds for termination of the marriage because you aren’t in a real marriage to begin with. I’m so sorry.
@@winxclubstellamusa This is why divorce rates are so high. We women are terrible at marriage and seek to control men, when we cant we walk with half that we didn't earn. Leeches.
Having friends of the same sex is always advised, but there can be healthy relationships that don't cross boundaries that are opposite sex. We would highly recommend you establish what boundaries there should be, and it might be a great idea for you to consider getting our Boundaries Toolkit. Boundaries are often viewed as trying to control someone else, so we have actually completely recreated Boundaries and teach you how to implement them into your life and relationships. You can find out more here if you're interested friend! marriagehelper.com/boundaries-in-marriage-toolkit/
Insecurity is a natural feeling, something is making you feel uneasy about his "friendships" with other women which is completely normal to feel that way. How would he feel if you had male friends? Most men wouldn't be happy as we know what men are like, being one myself. Also for him to downplay the issue and make it your problem shows disrespect for you and your marriage IMO.
Keep in mind that insecurities can also come from a place of trauma, narcissism, or as a symptom of other "toxic" qualities. It's important to be honest with yourself. Why are you feeling the way you feel? Are they justified? Are they rooted in irrational fear? Are there boundaries in place? There's a lot to think about.
We all definitely need emotional support and can't look to our spouse to be our everything, but you're right that there is a fine line that needs to be established and communicated so that a friendship doesn't turn into an affair. Thanks for sharing this video!
If your husband is telling other people about his emotions and feelings constantly, versus talking to you first...why even be married to him? You and him need to have a bond that is closer than any other relationship he has with another woman. Your husband can have female friends but when his "friends" are talked to more, spent more time with, and being told his inner most thoughts and feelings....he lacks the ability to bond adequately in my eyes. He is on a slippery slope that clearly says he's likely to have an affair. You have to have a man that knows how to protect your relationship....this is demonstrated during the courting process and heightens in marriage. If he cant protect a relationship, he wont be able to protect a marriage.
Have you thought that mabe it’s because his wife is not available or interested. That’s why he looks elsewhere, it’s a two way street, it’s not always the males fault. These days a lot of women are focused on social media and reality TV, that’s more important to them than a conversation in the evening.
I’m a professional who has helped many people navigate these rough waters. If you’re wondering if you or your partner is in an emotional affair or simply a true friendship, ask yourself one simple question.”Would I be genuinely happy for this ‘friend ‘ if they find a new romantic interest??” The honest answer to that question tells you all you need to know.🤔
I am married and I have never been talking to a person who is married unless it is really needed.I don’t let someone in including my husband’s friend .I don’t let my husband go to friends house .They meet each other outside as much as they want.
My Wife has couple of male friends, with whom she share our private affairs, she meets them secretly, and one of them used to be my colleague, and now he is only talking to her behind my back. I objected this and requested, yes I really requested and beg her to come out of this so called "friendship", but she kept it and told me I can not decide for her friends. I do not know what to do. She do not want to go to any therapy
There is a lot of complexity here which must be mentioned. Men do not seek friendships with women they are not attracted to. Women fall in love with men by creating an emotional connections with men. So what is it that men and women are supposed to talk about while they are 'friends' Trying to maintain a friendship with a woman and "NOT" conversing about anything in life which would create emotional depth with them is not anything either genders want in a friendship. It feels like choosing to do so is like playing with a loaded gun and isn't your relationship worth enough to avoid playing with this gun? Both men and women have to build and protect the relationship they have at all costs and not invite in this chaos and potential drama. The simple fact that this presenter has to set rules for her self about honesty and developing feelings as a way to keep them in her life is the smoking gun as to why it should be avoided. Instead setup the rule that any time you meat this other friend that your spouse is there with you. NO one on one time. Respect your relationship. If you crave alone time with your "friend" then that is also a flag you're giving energy to someone else when you should be giving it to your partner.
I don’t care how anybody twists all of this friendship stuff. Married men should not have female friends. Far too often it leads to bad things and the same with women if you’re married you should not have male friends The Temptations and bad endings are always looming in the background
@@purplemoose6431 While I don’t share your opinion, I can see your point and concern. I’m a married wife and mother and have male friends. It’s not really avoidable because I’m working in a field where there are mostly men. If I don’t keep contact with them or meeting them, I wouldn’t be able to keep future job opportunities open, learn more skills, etc. Also, as a woman with hobbies and interests that most women don’t share, it’s just easier to get along well with men. It was always like that, since childhood days. I know that there’s always the risk of an affair and I’m being careful. I’ve been faithful to my husband who I’m together with since 12 years, and I’m always careful to not cross boundaries. It’s just not realistic to only have female friends and coworkers you talk to on a regular basis. When one realizes that romantic feelings are involved, that’s the moment where it’s important to end the friendship or contact, I believe.
Sorry Marriage Helper, but you can't say that those marriages you've mentioned are alright (the example of toddlers friends who got married to third parties). I am inside the skin of someone who chose to stay in limerence with a long term friendship and we who marry people who have other people as best friends... we feel terrible. Sometimes we only realize how deep those friendships are after we get married. A real person can never beat an idealized relationship, a friendship that only has the good part of relationships (and this is why those people don't get married to friends, so that reality can't beat that love).
What if you do all of that for your husband. He is your friend, you support and do everything for him but yet he still went out and had an emotional affair. You do everything and he still went out and cheated…why because you don’t greet him everyday dressed to the nine…
what about when his best friend invited my husband to her house but her husband also there in a room. They cooked together and stuff but doesn't bother to invited me ? Or when she blurted out about my husband personal problem which I never heard of and try to discussed it with me. It made so uncomfortable.
A man who choses to have an emotional affair is The Husband’s violation of the vows of the marriage. He could’ve just as easily expressed his discontent within the marriage and try to work it out there , otherwise it is clearly betrayal
I’m sad to say that my husband is an “emotional cheater”. He does have friends, I don’t have any close friends (SAHM). He had a bad upbringing, was never given any examples of what a good husband is, and he is always looking from validation from others. It doesn’t matter the support and validation I give him, it’s like I don’t count. My husband makes me feel absolutely worthless, while also pretending to “see your point” and “learn and grow”... only to keep doing the same things. He is a decent father, aside from treating their mother like garbage. I would strongly suggest that if you were raised in a normal, stable, healthy home - think more than twice about ever marrying someone who did not have that upbringing. Because you will never be in a marriage that feels normal or healthy to you.
That breaks my heart. My wife didn’t have a father. I think she is really vulnerable around other men. Seeking affirmation. It’s very irritating when she seems flirty with other men. Drives me insane actually.
Well, I turned to my husband telling him I didn’t appreciate how he spent all his Time with me on his phone. He kept dismissing me, saying I was insecure, manipulating my emotional state. He never acknowledge my struggle I was having in those moments and turned it all back on me. I just found out in every single one of those moments he was texting a female “friend” from work. This was after repeatedly lying to me about talking with her after I had already found out. So I gave him the proof and now I’m trying to figure out what it means for us. I’m not saying this is your situation, but mine was similar and this is what was actually happening because of it.
How should a spouse fulfil the needs of their spouse and what if these needs aren't fulfilled by the spouse because of Mental Health struggles since childhood that are unlikely to go away.
This video did a good job of talking about ‘tactics’ to prevent temptation. That’s important, but largely misses the root cause. My experience in life is that the majority of so-called ‘cheating’ is because a person’s Needs are not being met. The person that does the cheating always gets blamed, but I think it’s more complicated. For example, the person doing the cheating may have already discussed with their partner why they are unhappy, yet nothing ever happens. In fact, the conversations often occur many times. So, they end up between a rock and a hard place. That is, cheat or get divorced. Two rotten choices, with cheating being the lesser of the two evils. Bottom line is that cheating usually doesn’t occur within a thriving relationship, where each person’s Needs within the relationship are being met.
That's bs !!! There are literally studies where people cheated on their partners even though there's nothing wrong in their relationship. For cheap thrill n excitement people engaged in this type of behaviour " I m not happy" is just their projection to feel guilt free
Emotional cheating is interesting, because it can be obvious, yet complex. I also believe that men that understand emotion and build healthy supports, they tend to control less and stop exaggerating responsibilities. Tough, to loosen up in control can cause its own issues, it comes off as you don’t care.
Emotional support from wives is great but I REALLY need my bros with whom I can talk to about the deep stuff. I recommend every man having a band of brothers with whom he can have fellowship.
We would agree that it's healthy to have a good support system of the same sex friends! However, we also strongly advise you use caution because often times your friends will have biased opinions and will give you HORRIBLE advice. So please just proceed with caution! And consider using one of our coaches as a non-biased third party perspective on your marriage!
Your wife is who you should be talking about the “deep stuff” with as a sign that you two share real intimacy = emotional intimacy together, not your “bros”. And if you have a better mental and emotional connection with your “bros” than with your wife then that’s a massive issue.
@@bobleglob162 you are definitely lying about the happily part. And the 30 years in and of itself means nothing, especially because husbands rarely notice or care about their wives’ misery. You are married to your “bros”, not her.
If u look at this then I guess I need to get a divorce, but I’m in a bad spot and I haven’t ever had a that close of a relationship with someone I was married to 😊
There are sooooo many women around. Waiting for a wife to start not being there for him. They come along, and are there for you. Next thing you know they are just there
So I guess in a sense you could say that it’s possible or you have to end the friendship with somebody you still like them care about the person, but you can’t be friends with them. In that last scenario, you were developing feelings for and you’re married
Why have certain friends you only hang out with in groups or in public (which is often the case with exes who consider each other friends), or who your spouse needs a debrief on everything you did and talked about? Why not just have friends and family with whom there is balanced mutual comfort and freedom?
Could an emotional affair be a wife that has an obsession with a particular celebrity? Especially knowing her "celebrity crush" is causing harm, yet she still engages in online stalking (photos) and drooling over the actor's films?
I had a male friend that I was close to recently and when I would try to tell my husband that I was hanging out with him or what we talked about he didn’t want to hear any of it… told me that my friendship with him was separate from our relationship. Granted, this is also after our whole marriage of him, not wanting to emotionally connect with me anyway, and mostly being distant… he honestly didn’t care about any of my interest or what I experience throughout the day, even though I was very interested and my husband’s day had gone and try to have a conversation… it would all be shut down just so that he could be by himself and do “his own thing”. So I tried to find a female friend I could hold myself accountable with regarding this male friend of mine. What do you do if your husband doesn’t want to be informed about your male friends ? And should I be asking if he has any female friends I don’t know about ? He insists he doesn’t have any, but I’m not so sure. How can I keep my husband informed and in the loop with my male friends if he doesn’t want to even discuss it ?
Look, it's healthy to stay single if you feel more alright like that and you feel you're becoming a better person in this period and you're satisfied as your life as already is. But if you're staying single from "trust no one" reason, that's a LOT of trauma to heal. Human is social being and even single people need good friends or family to have your backs for both good and rough times.
And that will just keep you in victim mode forever. Trust is hard for a lot of people and many women were just as betrayed by their husband. I met a man at my Christian college and he was a deceiver. Big time. I had to file for divorce. But I don't blame men for my failed marriage. Stop blaming all women for the sins of one!
I always tried to be his friend...he constantly needs female contacts. I do not agree with this. I asked him if he needed things and never got answers,only secrets. He feels he should do what he wants
The data says women go out of the marriage more for support so that was immediately turned around to be that. men. Might go out of marriage if they don't get support father than address that women are already going elsewhere, not to their husbands!
Because when your talk to your male partner he isn't able to give you emotional support so you have to go to a female friend or a councillor. Men seem to heap their baggage onto their female partners and don't like it when their partners need them.
STop with the false narrative to push your misandry. We women not only usually bring little value to men in a relationship, we're the first to leave when he's struggling. Men only "heap" to force us to breakups with them.
I actually have less female friend support post marriage. Is that a thing? Where post marriage no one wants to actually be your friend anymore? Or they are afraid to be transparent?
Are your friends married too? My married friends and friends with kids hang out with other parents and married people now . I am excluded even for dinners out
e.g. when your spouse does not want to talk to you, only naggs you, does not support you in any way, withold even simple things like saying 'good morning', and at the same time there is somebody else in their life that gets 'good morning' and 'good night', kisses (even virtual ones), their best smile - emotional connection beyond what friendship is. There is this great saying to say if it's cheating or not: 'if you are doing something that you are not comfortable saying about to your spouse - that's cheating'. Or there are others saying: 'any form of deception to gain any form of advantage over your spouse (control, affection, attention, intimacy etc.) is cheating'. So basically what she covers in the video - as far as you can tell your spouse when, what, etc. you were talking about with other people you are good. If you start to lie about details - you are too far. I've heard from my ex multiple times before I've decided to leave phrases like: 'I cannot answer your question because I know it will hurt you'. of 'I cannot explain you what's between us because you would not understand'. -> you know they are cheating, they are fully aware they are not respecting your boundaries and breaking your trust.
well when a man needs something and his wife not giving it to him a woman needs something and her husband is not doing it you don't look for others you married that person that person should know you inside and out my ex-wife told if there's something that I like to have done to me to let her know and and I told her the same thing if I wasn't doing something right let me know communication you should be able to talk about anything are people just going to get miserable because you didn't discuss it and nobody can't do nothing about it communication is the key but if my wife is not happy with me I'd rather her just divorce me before she has an affair because that's just hurting somebody above and beyond for no reason if a man and a woman can't communicate about what their needs or feelings they should have never got married you should be able to talk to your partner about anything before you ever get married secrets and not being able to talk to your wife or husband it's not going to lass long you should both know each other's dark leave no stone unturned about each other that way it won't be a problem in the future if you don't have that don't get married
if they have to turn to having an affair they should already get a divorce I'd rather her give me a divorce then have her have an affair because that's just more pain and suffering that couples don't need to go through by having an affair you're not thinking how it's going to hurt other people your and r kids you're thinking of nobody but yoursel I'd rather get a divorce before you have an affair is a whole lot less painless
Someone else could probably answered that question in a much better way but in case no one does, what comes to my spirit is that is when you should very much worry about him.
That is what my husband was doing very recently. He’d been distant, and talked about a coworker a lot! After months of not knowing what was up, and seeing him drink rather heavily, I looked at his phone, trying to find answers. He was sharing everything with his coworker, even about our fights, and his feelings about me, saying he thought I was crazy! He was also cutting himself and sharing it with her, (that came out in a fight, by the way), because she herself is a cutter. I thought for sure he was having an emotional affair, and that it had not yet gone sexual. I watched several Marriage Helper videos and a few others trying to find help on what to do with all this information I now had. I also went to our pastor and his wife and spoke with them in length before I talked with my husband. They basically told me to approach him just as I had them. The MH videos helped me to know to talk calmly, as did my pastor. I get excited and urgent when he won’t open up to me and answer my questions. Then he gets mad and then I get mad, and we both get defensive. This all happened just two weeks ago. We’ve talked quite a lot more but his work schedule makes it very difficult. But we are on a much better path, I believe. We’ve agreed to set even more boundaries. He likes helping people and he has befriended her disabled son, who is starved for male affection. Poor kid. Thankfully my husband is now on a different crew then his coworker, so at least their in person interactions are farther apart. I’d be happiest if she was out of our life completely, but he’s working on some projects and wants to be a good example to the boy, whose 12. Once the projects are done, hopefully it’s only doing things with the kid now and then. Sadly, she had been going through men like they are candy. Two out of the last four, have been married. 😬
Ok but what if the friend they have that is giving the advice can't even hold a man down and is past her 50 that's bad advise its like me asking for a homeless man as man so it does depend where the information is coinmg from facts do be miss guided.
What happens if a man has a close emotional friendship with my mom due to his wife being disabled because of Alzheimers disease? His wife can't speak, and her mind is a vegetable; so he can't receive normal emotional support in his marriage. My mom is a widow, BTW. Is this infidelity?
This is heartbreaking. I imagine this man needs emotional support simply because being a caregiver of a spouse with Alzheimer's is exhausting. Honestly unless your mother is uncomfortable this is endearing.
Hey Non, we are so sorry to hear you are going through this. Unfortunately, what you have described is very common to what we see and deal with on a regular basis with the couples we work with. Because of situations like yours, we actually created a course designed to help you save your marriage! It's the Save My Marriage Course Membership! It's 12 in-depth video lessons designed to teach you exactly what to do to save your marriage. You also get the included workbook, a private online support group, discounts on coaching packages, and even private live support calls and trainings with Dr. Joe Beam and Kimberly Holmes! If you're about to give up, please consider getting this membership first! Find out more here: bit.ly/3EXzcKn
Spoiler alert - if you need to make a special video educating people on how to tell the difference, there is none. Men you can’t commit to a woman 100% and have a “female friend” and same goes for women regarding “guy friends”. Whatever energy/time/effort you give that individual should be dedicated to yourself, your SO, your relationship.
See my point of veiw is when a man is being extra clingy or openly flirting and meeting secretly and sharing his personal information to other female he barely knows and being too informative and supporting to the other female in her life he is involved in infedility and cheating on his wife no matter how clean he potrays his picture to spouse or love her truly and once being intimate he cheated no matter the marriage was love or arrange even he did for just fun or mistake and still love spouse unconditionally it is not acceptable,once vow breaks no other reason can overlap cheating
Often times men pull away and make up reasons to fight with their spouse in order to use that as an excuse to have inappropriate friendships. They will say that they talk to this girl about their feelings and emotions because they are having problems at home or their wife hasn’t been there for them. When in reality, they purposely push their wives away because they prefer talking to the other person.
Husband point of view- They are not having romantic conversation with his 'only' female friend means they are just friends. Wife point of view - you are having long hour conversation with your female friend. You are blushing when you are talking with your female friend. You see your wife is getting jealous, still having conversation regularly. Your female friend messing you daily and share what's going in her life on daily basis. Your wife clearly said many times that she doesn't like your that 'only' female friend. Still you are in contact with your female friend. Give justification your wife that you are just friends and blame your wife to doubt on their holy friendship.
A friend is someone your spouse will be happy to introduce to others in their close emotional circle, including you. An emotional affair partner is someone they will keep secret, usually just to themselves.
So so..not every person you may consider a friend is someone that your partner will connect with or even be friends with
My bf has had girl "friends" for years that he is just now telling me about because he's claimed, "You don't have to know every single person I talk to."
100% correct!! My ex had a "friend" she hid from me. He ended up with her as her new supply and me, well as her ex! If you're uncomfortable with a relationship your partner has with somebody if they care and love you they will listen to your concerns and adjust that relationship accordingly! If not, and that is a boundary of yours then it's time to evaluate if you want to stay in a relationship with someone who dismisses your concerns!
What about when your wife’s friend comes to your home while you are here, but also meet by themselves.
@@firsttbone lve been telling mine for years that lm not comfortable but he doesn't understand how deeply it hurts, lve been next to his phone when she messages and the few lve seen like 'hi Hun have a good day' at 7am before he's even said good morning to me makes me die inside.
I had a partner who i caught sending “i love you, i need to see you” texts……she tried to explain it away as “oh, that’s just how we talk to each other…they’re just words” Needless to say, I walked away from that disloyal dumpster fire.
W
@@richardslifer1052 they were words of disrespect against you and your relationship. I think you made the right choice.
You missed an important factor. The friendship should support the marriage and the loyalty to the marriage mate.
@@steveklemettisdragracingvi8861 I agree,all relationship should support your marriage. They should be supportive of your marriage union.
@@steveklemettisdragracingvi8861 amen
If you survey random people, women almost always say that men and women can be friends, while men nearly always say the opposite. There's a reason for that disparity.
These so-called friends are the first men to be there for the woman when her marriage has any rough patch or crisis. An ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, a pair of hands to massage the stress away, a bed to forget about him for a while...
A shoulder to cry on is a...
I don’t think it’s wrong to have a support system
@ojuschugh19 There's a difference between support system and backup plan.
Just one more thing to add, why do some people bring their marriage to the rough patch or crises in the first place? Be a man of good character and please avoid negativity bias. I had taken part in a lot of surveys and I can tell that their sample size and how they pick people itself is flawed.
Please avoid negativity bias and focus on building a good character and values so that the marriage doesn’t get into a rough patch in the first place
Idk that's a bit too much brainwashed into pessimism. My male friends have been advising me on potential boyfriends and I guided also them through good and bad days in their relationships... I saw them getting in and out of relationships and they saw my ups and downs too and we support each other. Human is a social being. Men can be friends. ❤
If you really love your friend you would never harm him/her. I have a very attractive female friend and we used to meet a few times a year. We became friends way before she got married and her husband seemed to be ok with our friendship but when he finally told her it made him uncomfortable we stopped meeting, her husband's peace of mind was obviously more important than seeing her. I don't feel like the friendship is over though. We do exchange very short texts every once in a while
We have to be mindful that the question of “am I a good friend to my spouse….so they don’t feel the need to look elsewhere” doesn’t become a justification for what is a lack of accountability on their part with an absence of protective measures, boundaries, commitment and open communication.
Absolutely! We actually refer to boundaries as STOPs and COREs. A STOP is a Safeguard That Offers Protection. A CORE is a Continuing Our Relationship Essential. Setting a STOP or a CORE is a great thing to do in order to hold each other accountable if something is damaging the relationship. But by being a good friend to our spouse, it allows them to feel safe to come to you when they are struggling with something, and to move towards liking, loving and respecting you as a person. Which also happens to be exactly why people typically want OUT of a marriage. They don't feel liked, loved or respected. That's why advise you work on being a friend! Then the harder issues can be dealt with in the marriage.
Most spouses are so clueless. If I constantly neglect my spouse and take advantage of my spouse in any way, then I really shouldn't be surprised when a home wrecker shows up to swoop my hubby up.
Most men seem to be emotionally unavailable and hopeless at this.
This perfectly illustrates what happens. Usually fear driven reactions tend to derail what we share with each other. The long term affect unfortunately pushes some to look elsewhere for guidance. The key is healthy boundaries, public places and think with your conscious mindset (adult/angel) verses your unconscious (child/evil) mindset. Then openly share with your spouse what transpired. Remember your spouse is your best friend. They are your safe and familiar place. They’re your home. Don’t burn your home down so you can live in a temporary apartment.
Rightly Said.
Your home also shouldn't seek new residents either. Your spouse doesn't want new roommates sharing the home rent free.
Why would you even tempt yourself by going out with someone other than your spouse? The boundary should be set by only going out with your spouse - Alone that is.
@@JeremyCarnahan Of course you have no idea if your spouse *may* not want new 'roommates' unless you ask, right? Since some people clearly do function well with various forms of non-monagamy, including polyamory. It might not exactly be my cuppa but that doesn't mean everyone has the same attitudes, desires and dysfunction that I do.
@@heathsafetyenvironmentcons4031🎉😅
The end of the video is unfair to the cheated spouse. If someone's spouse is unwillingly to end a friendship that makes the other spouse uncomfortable, there is NOTHING we can do but preserve our dignity.
Absolutely agree.
My now former wife is a covert narcissist and maintained “friendships” with several former male “friends”. She had a group of friends I knew and knew me, but a group that was hidden!
Only thing spouses are 100% dependent on each other for is physical intimacy. Can get any type of support from family, counselor, platonic friends. Definition of emotional cheating is turning to someone you're potentially attracted to for support that spouse should give you. Its esp toxic if bad mouthing spouse, which is really what leads to problems
Honestly emotional infidelity hurts more than physical one. In many physical ones, it was in heat of moment and due to primal desires. No strings attached. But emotional one takes time and constant effort. You cannot come back from that. I’m not saying physical cheating is in any way not hurtful but I think I would be much more devastated if my partner was seeking peace from someone else, telling them about his deep feelings rather than if he just slept with them one night.
Nah. Emotional infidelity doesn't quite exist. Sleeping with someone is a blatant decision.
@@TomikaKelly yeah I agree. Emotional infidelity hurts but I don't put it on the level of physical affairs. Although emotional affairs lead to physical affairs.
@TomikaKelly both are deeply disrespectful, and the sooner more people realize this, the better. 😊
Physical one's can take time as well. Honestly both are deeply hurtful.
@@TomikaKellyThe two are often intertwined.
Omg I once dated a guy who had a female best friend and felt so uncomfortable! It was clear that even his family was confused as to what either of them were doing dating other people when the generational values were clearly “marry your best friend”. She wasn’t as svelte as I was so I got that he didn’t realize how attracted he was to her but he lit up anytime and every time she came up. Lit up and relaxed. I told him, “you should marry your best friend.”
When I dumped him.
But, that is true. 🤗
@@rivkahkovacs8073 Yes. Even his family had told him that. He was only lying to himself.
@@brightpage1020 Glad you dumped him! I hope he got with her or realized how toxic his behavior with his spouses was in regards to her so he didn’t keep hurting more women.
Why ruin a good friendship with marriage, or worse yet, an affair.
I think that most affairs start with a friendship. So no surprise that this is a red flag. Why should you wait until a line is crossed to end the friendship? It's always right at the line from the beginning. You stand on the edge of the cliff and saying "I'm safe here".
😂😮
I thought I had a really good friend. It wasn't until they left their abusive partner i realised I was used as an emotional affair
You get laid ? Then you weren't used
The more emotional relationships a person establishes, the better the chance that they will never run out of supply.
A harem of women
If the "friend" finds you attractive, they are just waiting for their opportunity.
Also, if you have an attactive friend, you should ask yourself, "If this person wasn't attactive, would I still want to be friends with them?"
If the answer is "no," you aren't really friends.
Yep
Absolutely agree 100%
Yes, you say you have male "friends" and you can handle it in your marriage with your husband.............. ok.............but would those wives of your male "friends" also have no issues with you? Think about it.
exactly 🎯 It's not as simple and true respect for another person would definitely come with a respect for their other half
@@Phaedrus-th7bi sometimes spouses (both wives and husbands) have unreasonable jealousy. Not being okay is not a proof of the partners or friends being in the wrong - yes if the spouse continues to see this friend they are choosing personal needs over relationship and are not being sacrificial. But the spouse being irresponsibly jealous or possessive is not being emotionally mature either, or it could be that the relationship is not a secure one in the first place.
There is never justification for cheating on a spouse, either emotionally or physically.
An affair or cheating = Anything you would NOT do right in front of your spouse.
Some people are bold, though, and don't care because it's normal to them. 🙄
My husband turns to his female friend emotional support, and not mine, not because I am not there for him, but because she was there long before I was. And he recently told me that she is staying in his life forever. She.
Then you unfortunately don’t share any emotional and mental intimacy and attraction to one another. And it shows that he likes and loves this friend much more than he likes and loves you. I think this is grounds for termination of the marriage because you aren’t in a real marriage to begin with. I’m so sorry.
I'm so sorry to hear that, he's basically saying that this friendship is more important than your marriage.
I'd leave him. You deserve better
@@winxclubstellamusa This is why divorce rates are so high. We women are terrible at marriage and seek to control men, when we cant we walk with half that we didn't earn. Leeches.
@@patricew.4010 I'm lost what does that have to do with what she said. About her husband turning to his female friend for support and not her
I am called insecure because I question my husband's friendship with females.😟
Having friends of the same sex is always advised, but there can be healthy relationships that don't cross boundaries that are opposite sex. We would highly recommend you establish what boundaries there should be, and it might be a great idea for you to consider getting our Boundaries Toolkit. Boundaries are often viewed as trying to control someone else, so we have actually completely recreated Boundaries and teach you how to implement them into your life and relationships. You can find out more here if you're interested friend! marriagehelper.com/boundaries-in-marriage-toolkit/
Me too! But where is the security in these situations
Insecurity is a natural feeling, something is making you feel uneasy about his "friendships" with other women which is completely normal to feel that way. How would he feel if you had male friends? Most men wouldn't be happy as we know what men are like, being one myself. Also for him to downplay the issue and make it your problem shows disrespect for you and your marriage IMO.
Keep in mind that insecurities can also come from a place of trauma, narcissism, or as a symptom of other "toxic" qualities. It's important to be honest with yourself. Why are you feeling the way you feel? Are they justified? Are they rooted in irrational fear? Are there boundaries in place? There's a lot to think about.
Naah , that's Gaslighting
We all definitely need emotional support and can't look to our spouse to be our everything, but you're right that there is a fine line that needs to be established and communicated so that a friendship doesn't turn into an affair. Thanks for sharing this video!
If your husband is telling other people about his emotions and feelings constantly, versus talking to you first...why even be married to him? You and him need to have a bond that is closer than any other relationship he has with another woman. Your husband can have female friends but when his "friends" are talked to more, spent more time with, and being told his inner most thoughts and feelings....he lacks the ability to bond adequately in my eyes. He is on a slippery slope that clearly says he's likely to have an affair. You have to have a man that knows how to protect your relationship....this is demonstrated during the courting process and heightens in marriage. If he cant protect a relationship, he wont be able to protect a marriage.
Have you thought that mabe it’s because his wife is not available or interested. That’s why he looks elsewhere, it’s a two way street, it’s not always the males fault. These days a lot of women are focused on social media and reality TV, that’s more important to them than a conversation in the evening.
*If your wife
❤
@@robwhite461well why is the wife not interested?
I’m a professional who has helped many people navigate these rough waters. If you’re wondering if you or your partner is in an emotional affair or simply a true friendship, ask yourself one simple question.”Would I be genuinely happy for this ‘friend ‘ if they find a new romantic interest??” The honest answer to that question tells you all you need to know.🤔
'Gregory's Razor'? 😀 It actually sounds like an effective, insightful metric.
I am married and I have never been talking to a person who is married unless it is really needed.I don’t let someone in including my husband’s friend .I don’t let my husband go to friends house .They meet each other outside as much as they want.
My Wife has couple of male friends, with whom she share our private affairs, she meets them secretly, and one of them used to be my colleague, and now he is only talking to her behind my back. I objected this and requested, yes I really requested and beg her to come out of this so called "friendship", but she kept it and told me I can not decide for her friends. I do not know what to do. She do not want to go to any therapy
A swift divorce seems the best way to avoid wasting anymore time
Look up narcissistic triangulation, it might explain her behaviour.
There is a lot of complexity here which must be mentioned. Men do not seek friendships with women they are not attracted to. Women fall in love with men by creating an emotional connections with men. So what is it that men and women are supposed to talk about while they are 'friends' Trying to maintain a friendship with a woman and "NOT" conversing about anything in life which would create emotional depth with them is not anything either genders want in a friendship. It feels like choosing to do so is like playing with a loaded gun and isn't your relationship worth enough to avoid playing with this gun? Both men and women have to build and protect the relationship they have at all costs and not invite in this chaos and potential drama. The simple fact that this presenter has to set rules for her self about honesty and developing feelings as a way to keep them in her life is the smoking gun as to why it should be avoided.
Instead setup the rule that any time you meat this other friend that your spouse is there with you. NO one on one time. Respect your relationship. If you crave alone time with your "friend" then that is also a flag you're giving energy to someone else when you should be giving it to your partner.
I don’t care how anybody twists all of this friendship stuff. Married men should not have female friends. Far too often it leads to bad things and the same with women if you’re married you should not have male friends The Temptations and bad endings are always looming in the background
Whats the point of having trust then? 😂silly comment
@@purplemoose6431
While I don’t share your opinion, I can see your point and concern.
I’m a married wife and mother and have male friends. It’s not really avoidable because I’m working in a field where there are mostly men. If I don’t keep contact with them or meeting them, I wouldn’t be able to keep future job opportunities open, learn more skills, etc.
Also, as a woman with hobbies and interests that most women don’t share, it’s just easier to get along well with men. It was always like that, since childhood days.
I know that there’s always the risk of an affair and I’m being careful. I’ve been faithful to my husband who I’m together with since 12 years, and I’m always careful to not cross boundaries.
It’s just not realistic to only have female friends and coworkers you talk to on a regular basis. When one realizes that romantic feelings are involved, that’s the moment where it’s important to end the friendship or contact, I believe.
This person sounds so insecure, it's an unrealistic request that men and women can't be friends. Setting boundaries is key
I researched this subject and was NOT surprised to find that it is NOT rocket science.
The person who cheated needed to communicate to his or her partner .
Sorry Marriage Helper, but you can't say that those marriages you've mentioned are alright (the example of toddlers friends who got married to third parties). I am inside the skin of someone who chose to stay in limerence with a long term friendship and we who marry people who have other people as best friends... we feel terrible. Sometimes we only realize how deep those friendships are after we get married. A real person can never beat an idealized relationship, a friendship that only has the good part of relationships (and this is why those people don't get married to friends, so that reality can't beat that love).
🎯
This is brilliant!
The underline issue where a person violates a marriage or relationship is immaturity. Not the lack of boredom or being steal.
What if you do all of that for your husband. He is your friend, you support and do everything for him but yet he still went out and had an emotional affair. You do everything and he still went out and cheated…why because you don’t greet him everyday dressed to the nine…
Please realize it is on him. He is looking for something to fill an empty place in himself.
How do you trust a woman or someone after being cheated on? I never trust anyone anymore.
what about when his best friend invited my husband to her house but her husband also there in a room. They cooked together and stuff but doesn't bother to invited me ? Or when she blurted out about my husband personal problem which I never heard of and try to discussed it with me. It made so uncomfortable.
A man who choses to have an emotional affair is The Husband’s violation of the vows of the marriage. He could’ve just as easily expressed his discontent within the marriage and try to work it out there , otherwise it is clearly betrayal
I’m sad to say that my husband is an “emotional cheater”. He does have friends, I don’t have any close friends (SAHM). He had a bad upbringing, was never given any examples of what a good husband is, and he is always looking from validation from others. It doesn’t matter the support and validation I give him, it’s like I don’t count. My husband makes me feel absolutely worthless, while also pretending to “see your point” and “learn and grow”... only to keep doing the same things. He is a decent father, aside from treating their mother like garbage. I would strongly suggest that if you were raised in a normal, stable, healthy home - think more than twice about ever marrying someone who did not have that upbringing. Because you will never be in a marriage that feels normal or healthy to you.
That breaks my heart. My wife didn’t have a father. I think she is really vulnerable around other men. Seeking affirmation. It’s very irritating when she seems flirty with other men. Drives me insane actually.
A lot of men befriend women as a plan b…. if she winds up single, it’s an easy in bc he has been ‘such a good friend’…. not all cases but most….
I tried telling my wife about how I felt she would not listen or respect my feelings what do I do
You have to decide if you married the right woman or not.
Well, I turned to my husband telling him I didn’t appreciate how he spent all his Time with me on his phone. He kept dismissing me, saying I was insecure, manipulating my emotional state. He never acknowledge my struggle I was having in those moments and turned it all back on me.
I just found out in every single one of those moments he was texting a female “friend” from work. This was after repeatedly lying to me about talking with her after I had already found out. So I gave him the proof and now I’m trying to figure out what it means for us.
I’m not saying this is your situation, but mine was similar and this is what was actually happening because of it.
How should a spouse fulfil the needs of their spouse and what if these needs aren't fulfilled by the spouse because of Mental Health struggles since childhood that are unlikely to go away.
So nicely explained. Very good.
That is mind blowing ! I have never got emotional support from anyone I was Married to .
This video did a good job of talking about ‘tactics’ to prevent temptation. That’s important, but largely misses the root cause. My experience in life is that the majority of so-called ‘cheating’ is because a person’s Needs are not being met. The person that does the cheating always gets blamed, but I think it’s more complicated. For example, the person doing the cheating may have already discussed with their partner why they are unhappy, yet nothing ever happens. In fact, the conversations often occur many times.
So, they end up between a rock and a hard place. That is, cheat or get divorced. Two rotten choices, with cheating being the lesser of the two evils. Bottom line is that cheating usually doesn’t occur within a thriving relationship, where each person’s Needs within the relationship are being met.
Accountability is important.
Communication is very important - but there is never an excuse for cheating.
That's bs !!!
There are literally studies where people cheated on their partners even though there's nothing wrong in their relationship.
For cheap thrill n excitement people engaged in this type of behaviour
" I m not happy" is just their projection to feel guilt free
Emotional cheating is interesting, because it can be obvious, yet complex. I also believe that men that understand emotion and build healthy supports, they tend to control less and stop exaggerating responsibilities. Tough, to loosen up in control can cause its own issues, it comes off as you don’t care.
Emotional support from wives is great but I REALLY need my bros with whom I can talk to about the deep stuff. I recommend every man having a band of brothers with whom he can have fellowship.
We would agree that it's healthy to have a good support system of the same sex friends! However, we also strongly advise you use caution because often times your friends will have biased opinions and will give you HORRIBLE advice. So please just proceed with caution! And consider using one of our coaches as a non-biased third party perspective on your marriage!
Your wife is who you should be talking about the “deep stuff” with as a sign that you two share real intimacy = emotional intimacy together, not your “bros”. And if you have a better mental and emotional connection with your “bros” than with your wife then that’s a massive issue.
@@winxclubstellamusa My wife and I have been happily married for 30 years. And you?
@@bobleglob162 you are definitely lying about the happily part. And the 30 years in and of itself means nothing, especially because husbands rarely notice or care about their wives’ misery. You are married to your “bros”, not her.
@winxclubstellamusa That sounds SO draining to have to be someone's everything all of the time. Your needs cannot be met with just your spouse.
If u look at this then I guess I need to get a divorce, but I’m in a bad spot and I haven’t ever had a that close of a relationship with someone I was married to 😊
There are sooooo many women around. Waiting for a wife to start not being there for him. They come along, and are there for you. Next thing you know they are just there
you’ll be ending the friendship because you do care about them
So I guess in a sense you could say that it’s possible or you have to end the friendship with somebody you still like them care about the person, but you can’t be friends with them. In that last scenario, you were developing feelings for and you’re married
What if your spouse falls for the therapist
@@fugetabouit663 Then stop paying therapist and make her pay for it
😂😂😂😂😂😂
I disagree. Woman are far more emotional than men. Leading them to get emotionally involved with another person outside of the relationship.
Fake science doesn’t help your cause
yes
Why have certain friends you only hang out with in groups or in public (which is often the case with exes who consider each other friends), or who your spouse needs a debrief on everything you did and talked about? Why not just have friends and family with whom there is balanced mutual comfort and freedom?
Could an emotional affair be a wife that has an obsession with a particular celebrity? Especially knowing her "celebrity crush" is causing harm, yet she still engages in online stalking (photos) and drooling over the actor's films?
That just sounds unhealthy . She’s idolizing that person. Unhealthy
Sounds like there is some serious mental health issues. Elements of obsessive thoughts. Trouble ahead without serious help.
I had a male friend that I was close to recently and when I would try to tell my husband that I was hanging out with him or what we talked about he didn’t want to hear any of it… told me that my friendship with him was separate from our relationship.
Granted, this is also after our whole marriage of him, not wanting to emotionally connect with me anyway, and mostly being distant… he honestly didn’t care about any of my interest or what I experience throughout the day, even though I was very interested and my husband’s day had gone and try to have a conversation… it would all be shut down just so that he could be by himself and do “his own thing”.
So I tried to find a female friend I could hold myself accountable with regarding this male friend of mine.
What do you do if your husband doesn’t want to be informed about your male friends ?
And should I be asking if he has any female friends I don’t know about ? He insists he doesn’t have any, but I’m not so sure.
How can I keep my husband informed and in the loop with my male friends if he doesn’t want to even discuss it ?
He seems to be distant from everything when it comes to you, looks like a wider issue than just not wanting to hear about male friends, at least imo.
Thanks Marriage Helper !
Stay single guys! Trust me just stay single. Trust no one
It is no secret why men are going their own way.
Look, it's healthy to stay single if you feel more alright like that and you feel you're becoming a better person in this period and you're satisfied as your life as already is. But if you're staying single from "trust no one" reason, that's a LOT of trauma to heal. Human is social being and even single people need good friends or family to have your backs for both good and rough times.
And that will just keep you in victim mode forever. Trust is hard for a lot of people and many women were just as betrayed by their husband.
I met a man at my Christian college and he was a deceiver. Big time. I had to file for divorce. But I don't blame men for my failed marriage. Stop blaming all women for the sins of one!
This is very helpful. Thank you so much
Glad it was helpful!
Good video and explanation
I always tried to be his friend...he constantly needs female contacts. I do not agree with this.
I asked him if he needed things and never got answers,only secrets.
He feels he should do what he wants
Break up and move on. You'll be glad you used the time elsewhere
So what happens if your husband doesn’t see anything wrong with the relationship
I love that top!
What should I do if I suspect he’s attracted to my friend who is also our doctor?
You tell him because you are,afraid of him and what he will do.
The data says women go out of the marriage more for support so that was immediately turned around to be that. men. Might go out of marriage if they don't get support father than address that women are already going elsewhere, not to their husbands!
Because when your talk to your male partner he isn't able to give you emotional support so you have to go to a female friend or a councillor. Men seem to heap their baggage onto their female partners and don't like it when their partners need them.
STop with the false narrative to push your misandry. We women not only usually bring little value to men in a relationship, we're the first to leave when he's struggling. Men only "heap" to force us to breakups with them.
I actually have less female friend support post marriage. Is that a thing? Where post marriage no one wants to actually be your friend anymore? Or they are afraid to be transparent?
Are your friends married too?
My married friends and friends with kids hang out with other parents and married people now . I am excluded even for dinners out
@@gemsxjourneyx196 yes they are married with kids. They do try actually but now I get so exhausted from work. Must be general adult fatigue. Lol
I have experienced this
@MrsKre8ivetype thanks for confirming this. Why do u think this happens?
Can I ask viewers what non physical cheating is?
e.g. when your spouse does not want to talk to you, only naggs you, does not support you in any way, withold even simple things like saying 'good morning', and at the same time there is somebody else in their life that gets 'good morning' and 'good night', kisses (even virtual ones), their best smile - emotional connection beyond what friendship is. There is this great saying to say if it's cheating or not: 'if you are doing something that you are not comfortable saying about to your spouse - that's cheating'. Or there are others saying: 'any form of deception to gain any form of advantage over your spouse (control, affection, attention, intimacy etc.) is cheating'. So basically what she covers in the video - as far as you can tell your spouse when, what, etc. you were talking about with other people you are good. If you start to lie about details - you are too far.
I've heard from my ex multiple times before I've decided to leave phrases like: 'I cannot answer your question because I know it will hurt you'. of 'I cannot explain you what's between us because you would not understand'. -> you know they are cheating, they are fully aware they are not respecting your boundaries and breaking your trust.
Amen and amen!
When I'm told to stay until the end, I leave. Bye.
One is a secret and the other is not
well when a man needs something and his wife not giving it to him
a woman needs something and her husband is not doing it
you don't look for others
you married that person that person should know you inside and out
my ex-wife told if there's something that I like to have done to me to let her know and and I told her the same thing if I wasn't doing something right let me know
communication you should be able to talk about anything
are people just going to get miserable because you didn't discuss it and nobody can't do nothing about it
communication is the key
but if my wife is not happy with me I'd rather her just divorce me before she has an affair because that's just hurting somebody above and beyond for no reason
if a man and a woman can't communicate about what their needs or feelings
they should have never got married you should be able to talk to your partner about anything before you ever get married
secrets and not being able to talk to your wife or husband
it's not going to lass long
you should both know each other's dark leave no stone unturned about each other
that way it won't be a problem in the future
if you don't have that don't get married
Has Rob met your male friends and what conversation you have with male friends you can’t have with Rob?
That’s like your opinion man
I'd much prefer my wife to have male friends than single mom - divorced mom female friends.
Neither are great.
This video confirms marriage just isn't for me.
if they have to turn to having an affair they should already get a divorce
I'd rather her give me a divorce then have her have an affair because that's just more pain and suffering that couples don't need to go through
by having an affair you're not thinking how it's going to hurt other people your and r kids you're thinking of nobody but yoursel I'd rather
get a divorce before you have an affair is a whole lot less painless
All the best convincing alpha and sigma males
Hence why poly amour relationships are becoming more common nowadays.
They'll most likely fail.
To be honest this sounds a lot like blaming the victim
I checked on my husband and he checked on me and he move on but he is still angry with me and we have a baby girl we cant talk always frightening
What does it mean when your husband says he don't want you to worry about him?
Someone else could probably answered that question in a much better way but in case no one does, what comes to my spirit is that is when you should very much worry about him.
That is what my husband was doing very recently. He’d been distant, and talked about a coworker a lot! After months of not knowing what was up, and seeing him drink rather heavily, I looked at his phone, trying to find answers. He was sharing everything with his coworker, even about our fights, and his feelings about me, saying he thought I was crazy! He was also cutting himself and sharing it with her, (that came out in a fight, by the way), because she herself is a cutter. I thought for sure he was having an emotional affair, and that it had not yet gone sexual. I watched several Marriage Helper videos and a few others trying to find help on what to do with all this information I now had. I also went to our pastor and his wife and spoke with them in length before I talked with my husband. They basically told me to approach him just as I had them. The MH videos helped me to know to talk calmly, as did my pastor. I get excited and urgent when he won’t open up to me and answer my questions. Then he gets mad and then I get mad, and we both get defensive.
This all happened just two weeks ago. We’ve talked quite a lot more but his work schedule makes it very difficult. But we are on a much better path, I believe. We’ve agreed to set even more boundaries. He likes helping people and he has befriended her disabled son, who is starved for male affection. Poor kid. Thankfully my husband is now on a different crew then his coworker, so at least their in person interactions are farther apart. I’d be happiest if she was out of our life completely, but he’s working on some projects and wants to be a good example to the boy, whose 12. Once the projects are done, hopefully it’s only doing things with the kid now and then. Sadly, she had been going through men like they are candy. Two out of the last four, have been married. 😬
Well I think he was just saying that bc I caught him in an emotional affair. He's trying to convince me that he's not by saying that I think.
An Arab lawyer is looking for his friend with the intention of marriage
The answer to the title is no.
Ok but what if the friend they have that is giving the advice can't even hold a man down and is past her 50 that's bad advise its like me asking for a homeless man as man so it does depend where the information is coinmg from facts do be miss guided.
If you have to try that hard to keep your relationship get out of the relationship
I can see her insecurities.
What happens if a man has a close emotional friendship with my mom due to his wife being disabled because of Alzheimers disease? His wife can't speak, and her mind is a vegetable; so he can't receive normal emotional support in his marriage. My mom is a widow, BTW. Is this infidelity?
This is heartbreaking. I imagine this man needs emotional support simply because being a caregiver of
a spouse with Alzheimer's is exhausting. Honestly unless your mother is uncomfortable this is endearing.
Your mom isn’t cheating but he is . According to the bible.
Ask God? I don’t know that’s hard. Probably shouldn’t until the wife is also dead and he is widowed
I talk my husband about what i found out with his co worker , and he tell me his feeling to girl work mate is special 😢 what should i do
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I am having an emotional affair with my fiance 😆
Spoiler alert - if you need to make a special video educating people on how to tell the difference, there is none. Men you can’t commit to a woman 100% and have a “female friend” and same goes for women regarding “guy friends”. Whatever energy/time/effort you give that individual should be dedicated to yourself, your SO, your relationship.
So it's not healthy to have friends outside of your relationship?
I am male and married and all my close friends are female, way more comfortable in female company. They are just friends.
It's not okay. It can't be done. Women and men can't be friends.
Yes, we can be friends! The secret is : from time to time I end in bed with women friends :D
Men and women cannot be just friends.🙄
Yes, they certainly can be just friends if agreed upon up front.
Married men don’t have female friends.
JUst say youre sexist. Ugh
See my point of veiw is when a man is being extra clingy or openly flirting and meeting secretly and sharing his personal information to other female he barely knows and being too informative and supporting to the other female in her life he is involved in infedility and cheating on his wife no matter how clean he potrays his picture to spouse or love her truly and once being intimate he cheated no matter the marriage was love or arrange even he did for just fun or mistake and still love spouse unconditionally it is not acceptable,once vow breaks no other reason can overlap cheating
This is where you need to stop and first address the people who use that as an excuse to manipulate the situation.
This video is ridiculous
Often times men pull away and make up reasons to fight with their spouse in order to use that as an excuse to have inappropriate friendships. They will say that they talk to this girl about their feelings and emotions because they are having problems at home or their wife hasn’t been there for them. When in reality, they purposely push their wives away because they prefer talking to the other person.
Just like us women. Love to hear your version of why women commit paternity fraud.
Husband point of view- They are not having romantic conversation with his 'only' female friend means they are just friends.
Wife point of view - you are having long hour conversation with your female friend. You are blushing when you are talking with your female friend. You see your wife is getting jealous, still having conversation regularly. Your female friend messing you daily and share what's going in her life on daily basis. Your wife clearly said many times that she doesn't like your that 'only' female friend. Still you are in contact with your female friend. Give justification your wife that you are just friends and blame your wife to doubt on their holy friendship.