I'm able to make friends but i do it a non-healthy way. I just force myself to get noticed like hurt myself or bully people and i don't know why i do this but i wanna leave that behind
growing up it's hard to understand how to process how to interact with people especially when people talk behind your back when you where of special education ( I never knew I had autism, add and adhd till I was between 24 to.my current age of 31 or understand social cues or boundaries.) I learned to make friends who might be of similar interests. its kind of hard honestly.
@@scollaceyuri i felt the same way but if u think about it u realize is non necessarily true. many people only give u the impression of being okay while they could be depressed and lonely like u are. the main reason we feel like we are the only one being depressed is because very few people actually talk about it. one big step u could make would be talk about it with someone, u will realize u are not alone. i did it and it really helped even though i was scared to death at the idea of telling someone how i felt. i happened to find a couple of people that actually understood what i was feeling and some emotional support is the first thing u need. i feel like sharing your emotions n thought is the first step to heal and not to feel lonely anymore. and maybe the easy way of doing that is with a comment on youtube ;) hope i helped u out
@Krishna Patel i can totally get dat, never really got any genuine frnds since childhood to now i was like the uncool kid for dem cuz i did not do rebellious things, bullying others or abusing im not even kidding thats the reason i heard frm people wen dey told me y i dont have frnds
To be honest I don't have any friends and don't plan on making them. My life has enough drama in it and going to midd school, well, I think my life will go better knowing that I don't need to TRY and make friends to cover for the fake ones.
For me, it's not that hard to make friends, but true friends are people that only come once in a life time (honestly most friends I made used me, and ended up being horrible to me)
@@lefthandderivative Sometimes I also think that but at the end of the day everyone needs a friend. Honestly I don't like social media that much so I prefer to meet new people in person so that I can know themselves much better since I'm an introvert.
Same, the closest I've gotten to making freinds since I was about 8 was adults that I'm aquanted with, I mean, I actually hate MOST kids (even though I'm 12) so I really don't feel bad about it but I want someone to lean on and to communicate with other than family
Now thinking about it I haven’t made new friends in middle school and now I’m going into high school. The only friends I have are a few I new since elementary
One of the worst things in my high school period was when we sometimes had few free hours after classes and everyone was packing their stuff and planning where to hang out and spend those hours . I remember just sitting there in silence, waiting to be invited but no one invited me. Then I was sitting alone in school hall, seeing everyone talking and laughing while leaving school, I was ready to burst into tears, with chest pain because this shit hurt my feelings.
That's how I feel every. Damn. Day! At karate, at church, at gatherings, Everywhere! Sometimes I'll join a group, we will laugh and chat for about 5 minutes, then everyone will talk over me and ignore what I'm saying and slowly push me out of the group, idk what I do wrong but people don't seem to like me
We can be friends if you want! 😊 you are beatiful and unique, probably God, universe, the destiny or whatever you believe, is holding a great person just like you. :)
This is the most truest thing I have ever related so far I feel like people who ignore u aren't worse it, and ur lucky that they didn't try to friend u just to use u so I think u dodged a bullet
Exactly! I broke up with my ex-best friend of 8 1/2 yrs in March(right before the quarantine started)and I already had trust issues before tht to some extent(which is one out of MANY factors tht caused our friendship to end)but then after our friendship ended, my trust was completely and utterly SHATTERED and I felt like I had no trust left in me but now I'm trying to work on my trust issues and to lessen them, even if I can't 100% eradicate them =)
i do feel like making friends as a kid is really easy, but when you grow up, the definition of friendships changes and when you're an adult friends aren't important anymore because you have too many stuffs to do for yourself or your kids
@@someone-tk5jh I relate on it, like after the first time I meet someone they tell me that I'm a great and funny person, but after that I feel like I fuck up something and they just don't want to deal with me. Not sad about it though, but a bit anxious about what's wrong with me
•{м ι м ι l ι l ι є ѕ} • I do it too. I always got the feeling that I talk to much and that no one understands me because I don’t talk clearly. I mumble very much :/. (Srry 4 the bad English)
Faith Zikali I’m sorry, happens to me as well, especially last week it was really bad 💜 you got this, it’s okay to feel down but try do something you like doing today, whether it’s taking a bath or going for a run or watching a movie ❤️
*"Making friends hasn't been your priority."* This is the one I relate to the most. When I was in school, I focused more on my education. I wanted friends, but every time I did make a friend, I'd never see them again once the school year was done, or I'd never see them again after graduation.
Omg same! I’m currently in school taking summer classes even and I truly love school and don’t regret my passion for it and dedication but it’s seems impossible to have good friends that I continuously see like before in HighSchool.
1. Past Friendships Still Haunt You 2. You're Tired Or Burnt Out 3. You Make Superficial, Situational Bonds 4. Technology Can Create Distance 5. Making Friends Has Not Been Your Priority 6. Too Many Commitments, Not Enough Time Hope This Helped But Watch The Full Video To Understand More💖
So this is weird but I think I'm 3 and 4 and somewhat 5 I think I'm not commited to hanging out with people because I just feel so weird so I don't so making friends could not be my priority...yet again I think I'm 3 because I tend to talk to people say for example online and it's about one topic that is probably "relatable" and then after talking we just don't talk again...or at school when I finally muster up the courage to speak and then after that people just go back to their friendship groups...I'm starting to hate myself because I have still been friends with someone who used to emotionally drain me like an energy vampire always wanting to hang out with me and being too nice...but now I just don't think of it though when they text me it's always some spams of heart emojis and smily faces and it sometimes makes me feel warm inside but then after a few seconds it's just unnatural to me...And I don't talk to them after a few days but I sometimes talk to them...and I feel like their energy has rubbed off onto me making me physically force myself to laugh or chuckle at theirs or people's weird jokes e.g. they always talk about chicken nuggets and curry sauce and idk what to say so I just say it with them but it's tireing me out...And I really don't want to forget about them or others because it's unfair I just want to make some real friends that bring out the best version of me like at school there's this one girl i used to sit next to maths in year 7 and a few other people who I believe have a good purity and a humorous side to them this includes boys as well in my year/grade wich is 10 and I just feel like I'm gonna regret sittin with the chicken nugget obsessed bubbly girl at lunch along with her friends...And it's just been confusing because I have another friend who is actually going through so much bless her heart including heart break from the chickennnugget girl and I honestly want to help her through her issues but don't know how to and when we sometimes talk at school I feel so awkward and just listen to her nodding my head and stuff because what would I say that would make her react good or bad or in between? I want to be honest....with everyone and I want to be me not some person who doesn't like the path where I chose to go....and the girl who i used to sit with in maths in year 7 might not even like me anymore or she might find me unintresting and boring even though I love to do art and I a different class...I'm think about switching classes but I can't because I am not trying to cling onto anyone I just want to better for myself and for the people around me...I don't know who I am and il just regret not speaking to anyone at the times my heart felt I needed to...
Oh and to make things worse. Chicken nugget girl always talks about wanting to buy an apartment and me moving on with her wanting is to get jobs at 16...I honestly just don't really know ....I mean life makes ppl go their own paths idk why she thinks everything is gonna be perfect how she plans- 😓
Number 6 might apply to me. It's tough to match people's free time. Alone time is good. But, some things aren't satisfying to do alone. Watching sports & flying is more satisfying with a partner.
@@Psych2go thank you.... for making this it helps me understand but im still worried about finding a true friendship it's scary.... you probably won't even see this after all i'm just a random person telling you my problems i'm sorry for ranting
Since graduating college, I've been STRUGGLING with making friends!!! I think it definitely has more to do with everyone's busy schedule and finding time is so hard. ALSO, since you're at work the majority of the time, it's hard to meet people outside of work! WHY IS BEING AN ADULT SO HARD
I just moved to a completely new place like a month ago too, and cuz quarantine I don't really have any friends where I live and I can't really see any of my old friends, cuz quarantine and the long drive TwT fun times
It's very surprising to see so many comments of people talking about struggling to make friends because everyone around me seems to have no trouble making friends
Personally, I don't think I can relate to any of these things While I can relate that past friendships can ruin trust I think that the reason that I don't make new friends is actually that I simply don't go out enough or have good social skills. For me it's as simple as that.
I broke up with my best friend, don’t get me wrong she was very nice. But ever since I started liking BTS she’d say things like “BTS are trash” and “Your opinion doesn’t matter.” I don’t think she realized that BTS was one of the only reasons I actually wanted to live. BTS aren’t just “some hot Korean guys” to me... so I couldn’t stand someone constantly talking bad about them. I respected her opinion and that she didn’t like them, but she couldn’t respect mine. When I told her we could no longer be friends she said that I wasn’t a good friend anyway... I’m guessing that’s true, but it still hurt.
I think the hardest thing in my life has been attempting to make friends. In part because I'm always afraid they're keeping me around just to make fun of me or insult me behind my back. I'm also afraid they keep me around because they feel sorry for me and pity me. It probably comes from my lack of self-worth and severe trust issues. I haven't had any friends since middle school and I'm now in my mid-20's. It's all really frustrating since I've met people that say their my friend, but they just use me and I never felt our interactions were anything close to a friendship.
I'm planning to make myself more interesting and make friends a priority. I realize now they haven't been. Im also an introvert in college and working at the same time. It's been rough
I don’t really know about the technology distancing friendships, I’ve kinda made more friends online than in real life or at school. The way I have met them is in a game we both really like, we relate a lot and they aren’t all fake like my past friends.
I have trouble making friends due to my autism, ADHD, social anxiety and depression which all makes socializing a lot harder for me. I’m also tired of people constantly bullying me or people saying that they are my friend but never want to hangout with me.
I know right it’s so tiring hearing that all the time what’s the point of saying that if they don’t actually mean it I had people who said it but when push came to shoved they was never there for me
Making friends was usually pretty easy for me. Unfortunately, most of my friendships faded due to growing apart. Its also extremely hard when some of your closest friends pass away. If I had all my friends in my life, I would probably have 50 or more. Luckily, I still have my friends from my childhood while still trying to reach out for new ones 💖
I let most of my friendships wither away. I simply stopped initiating conversations. It's amazing how much apathy that reveals. I thought I needed a lot of friends, but I found out that emotional freedom feels so much sweeter. I've learned to be my own best friend, and that has helped the friendships I chose to keep.
Why is it hard? For me, I'm an introvert with social anxiety that sometimes feels crippling. And I'm terrible at small talk for the most part. So if the potential friend can't carry 99% of the conversation for the first bit until we find something I can give input on, then I'm screwed. Lol But honestly, the hardest part is that it sometimes feels like I'm overstepping boundaries by saying literally anything at all. And although I know that's probably not the case most of the time, it's a feeling that always lingers. So it makes it hard to even ask basic questions that I may be remotely curious about. I've been trying to be mindful of my behavior for a while now, trying to discover exactly what situations trigger my anxiety. I've noticed a lot, but still don't understand myself. Lol
Thanks for respecting introverts. You're videos are very kind compassionate and practical. Very comforting for those who just came from awkward encounters.
Thinking of High school makes me emotional. My group pretended I was part of their circle but they actually even talked shit about my sister, let alone me. I never want to go to batch reunions because I don't know how to face them after all these years. They were emotional bullies. I don't know how to face emotional bullies who pretended to be your friend
Its been almost a year since my wife left me. Ive been focusing on being there for our kids and bettering myself. I suffer from chronic depression but my mood swings are arising less often nowadays. Thank you psyche2go for these videos. They have helped to get me in the space i need to be to make my life better. Wip
“I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects.” [Oscar Wilde]. Our phones fall, we PANIC. Our Friends fall, we LAUGH 😊
@@joeyjointjebaiter1275 "I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep."
4. technology creates distance... i feel the bigger problem from this point is that technology promotes quantity over quality connections. because you are interacting with everyone, any meaningful "one to ones" are lost among a sea of strangers. and if someone peeves you, you just block them and move onto the next. rather than interacting with "people", the "people" merely become pieces/components that makes up a community/group. in a sense its ironic that with human connections becoming too readily available, that it like everything else loses value, and without any meaningful connections (because it all becomes too watered down), we become isolated.
its crazy how many people don't have friends and would love to have even 1 friend to talk to yet no one of us approach each other or try to befriend each other...
For me it’s really hard I’m basically a player for friendships. I move on super quickly so I don’t have actual close friends in class. I’m very shy and come with quite a few mental illnesses so it’s even Harder for me
I kinda relate to this, I think I'm a terrible friend and sometimes I just want to lock myself in a cage, somewhere no one could reach me so I don't hurt people. For me it's hard to maintain a friendship. I'm feeling like the worst person in the world.
Its actually quite harder to make friends now. People say dating is harder. But friendships are harder too. Because people are getting more immature, social media prevalence, therefore more rudeness.
I feel i am different from others. I have lack of knowledge about the things others like. And yeah.."past frienships haunts you". My school life isn't that good. i was alone. And now i am trying to socialise but it's really difficult for me.
Someone told me "You will never be happy because you need to make more friends" to them I just said. "No I don't need friends to make me happy. Only myself can make me happy and others who respect me for who I am" its rare to find people who supports you and cares for you no matter what you're doing.
Same here. This woman's voice actually makes it worse. Does anyone agree there's no fun any more? No comedy in case someone's offended? No belly laughs? What a miserable crap video(s). 😠
In addition to these reasons, I think one reason why making friends has been hard for me is because of my attachment style. People mostly talk about attachment styles and the attachment theory in romantic relationships, but I think they affect friendships as well. I developed an avoidant attachment style during my childhood, and now not only do I avoid romantic relationships, but I also wall myself off from others and avoid all relationships in general. It is hard for me to make friends.
I do go through this same thing. I'm 20 years old and i have a hard time making any friends. I have lost many friends and i feel alone. But this video gave me a clarity where i lack.. great video!! 🎉
speaking from experience, i would like to add one aside from the ones stated in this video. *always seeing the worst in people.* it was always super difficult to make friends as a kid because i constantly was seeing the flaws in people. especially as a kid, no one is perfect. i failed to see that and i also thought that i was perfect. i assumed it was everyone elses fault when i wasnt getting friends. what i realized that friendships must be a mutual connection. i cannot always be the one waiting for someone to approach me, and vice versa. thank you :)
The first was most of the reason for me. I take time to fully consider someone a friend, to trust that they actually wanted to be friends and they won't leave just as I was feeling comfortable with them. All because of a thing that happened in the past, which was followed by long long years of loneliness (capped by depression caused by losing hope of my situation someday changing, when I was already grieving the death of a close family member). I have one friend now, and it happened because she consistently looked for my presence when we were enrolling in school. Enrollment took days because we had to take medical examinations and vaccines to make sure us students are healthy. And she would text me and ask if we can still go together the next day and we'll decide on where we'll meet. One night I was the one who texted first, feeling self-conscious and worrying that...I dunno, that maybe I was assuming too much that she wanted to be friends when in reality she doesn't? But nope, things continued. We sat next to each other, ate snacks and lunch together, walked together after school, talked about our interests and our homes, etc. etc. And I came to trust that I can count on her if I needed someone. And the second one, I'm an introvert lol. She is, too, so I have no worries about her dragging me to parties against my will or something haha. Though she is a friendlier and more social introvert, so I also kinda ended up talking and coming to trust other classmates that she was friends with. I guess it also helped that I was at the tail end of my recovery from depression. Good thing too, or the stress of college would've crushed me.
That is or was all my former friends, 3 years ago. I was an addict whose only friend group were other addicts. I got clean and sober, they didn't. Now I am alone, anxiety ridden, depressed, tired and just wanting to make a friend who shares my interests. I just turned 40 a few weeks ago, it is hard starting over trying to make new friends without feeling really really creepy.
I’ve had social anxiety for the past 4 years and all throughout middle school I haven’t been able to make a single friend. Around the beginning of my freshman year I’ve forced myself to talk to people and start some conversations but so far people seem disinterested in becoming my friend. Another problem is I wanna be friends with people who I have similar interests with, but even those people are hard to approach, I get talked over when I speak and they still find me boring.
My parents are part of the reason i dont have any friends, they question everything about the people who wanted to hang out with me and that drew my friends away so im alone
Why making friends is so hard 1. Past friendships still haunt you 2. Your tired or burnt out 3. You make superficial, situational bonds 4. Technology can create distance 5. Making friends hasn't been your priority 6. Too many commitments, not enough time
I realized since I was small I could never connect to anyone my age. I grew up an only child and have pretty severe adhd, so I tend to be bossy or intense. Over the years I've developed avoidance attachment and am also very sensitive from trauma about the changes in tone and body language in someone. Those mixed with my inability to relate or connect with people my age has led me to a handful of friends I have, but I realized i still can't communicate on deep connections with people since I don't know much on the trends and also im extroverted. Its kind of scary and I wonder if ill be able yo turn around and connect again, but its too vulnerable now. And a lot of energy
I feel like when you're young, say in Nursery or Primary School. Everyone just seems to get on but once you become more grown up. High School onwards. People set boundaries and are less open then when they are young. As society is like that. I do still believe there are genuine people out there, who you can connect with. The mind works differently when someone is young to Adulthood. Say. A little child..as an example, is full of wonder, and amazed at everything, and have an imagination, they enjoy interacting with others, initially for the most part. I feel when you're young. No one judges anyone as kids don't think that way. But as we grow older. People Judge, without even knowing the person and they may or may not be a nice person. It depends. It's all to do with who has this, who has achieved that academically, Status. Who has the better job. That is not always the case with everyone but with some. I find some people like 'you' depending on what you're parents do rather then how you as a person. I get having academics and a good job isn't all bad and a good thing but I don't like people only befriending other's for example just because of that. It is superficial. Some bullies pick on others due to their upbringing, or not getting enough attention or because of jealousy or their own insecurities or are just purely mean or life situation.. And are like that the rest of their lives. I tend to see people who are fairly well off or say have money; People flock too and seem to love them. Or people who seem like they are perfect or 'wealthy' as just an appearance. People gush over them. Love them. That is superficial. It is almost like not being a nice person is good enough. You have to have everything. Can be draining thinking about it. That doesn't apply to all but I have encountered people like that. I understand there are good people out there who like you for you. Not solely because of everything else. Sometimes you think that friends are your friends then you realise, no they aren't at all. Just aquantainces. I used to pour my heart and soul to others. But they never reciprocated in terms of friendships. It's works both ways doesn't it. So I have learnt not to be in touch as often as I used to be and not chase after others if they aren't interested in being friends. I think I was too nice. Now, I am putting that on hold and taking care of myself. Self care. And not worrying about having to be with friends and doing more things on my own and loving myself. Right. I am going to go now. Sorry, for this long message. Bye. Omg. RANT OVER. Have a good day. If anyone actually reads this. Ahaha.☺
I have too many responsibilities and bigger priorities to tend to. People say if you truly love someone you’ll make time for them but on the other hand I mustn’t put others before my needs and become codependent living for them. I have no frickin idea how to solve my dilemma. Snapchating and texting friends and family is what I’ve been doing lately but it isn’t enough because it’s not face-to-face. One thing however that keeps me from feeling completely friendless and lonely is my daily interactions with my coworkers!
“Past friendship still haunts you” Me: yea that’s why I’m scared to make new friends now 😔 Edit: ⊙.☉ WOAH IM FREAKING OUT (again) RIGHT NOW. I never had that many likes on my comments before. Thank you guys so much (thx again!!)❤️ you guys really brighten my mood!!!Thanks again guys ୧(＾ 〰 ＾)୨
Making friends as an adult is extremely hard. Especially when you got mental disabilities, and lies & rumors still floating around back stabbing former friends and ex boyfriends that people choose to believe. I barely even have local friends to hangout with. Just friends online that live states or countries away.
The voice actor for these videos has the most soothing voice. I've actually started to get anxious every time I click on a new video because I worry if it'll be someone else..
Yah. I am definitely number 1. In elementary school some kids who had been in the class with me for years who I called friends made fun of me for the whole school year. The school had tried to help but nothing worked. I used to be super outgoing but now because of that I have severe trust issues and am super shy. I only open up to people who I really trust.
I don't make friends because having some friends is shit they don't care about you and they only care when they want something to you so MAKING FRIENDS REALLY SUCKS
Reasons why it's hard to make friends is that they are so many fake people, they will just use you, influence you to do bad things, toxic, backstabs you, they are not real friends😑😒I would really prefer to be alone than having fake friends!!!
i had a ex best friend on middle school,i was the first one to approach him and then we became best friends.but later on our relationship became more and more off because i didnt realize i was being toxic to him and whenever he apologized so many times we ended up being together again but i didnt learned my lesson and still was that toxic person,now the words i said to him before it’s what he is using now and his attitude wasn’t the same before,we both changed,i became low self esteem beacuse of what i did to him,luckily my relatives kept saying i should let him go for the better,i did.right now i'm aware of befriending someone because i wanna be a better person than my oldself,i was hoping to have any friends in my new school
Too tired, and I often believe people don't really care about me or what I say. They like me to keep them company but most of the time I dnt feel part of the group. It has been a while now since peeps talk to me through text, now i rarely write if that feeling creeps in. thanks god that those 2 friends still exist, but I still feel empty, alone and every once in a while when I do go out and talk, I get social anxiety and it sucks. Right now I'm feeling the emptiness when i should be sleeping .
i’d rather make online friends with near the same time zone/ time zone that matches my sleep schedule because i don’t have to talk to people in person. i currently have great friend with the same time zone and let me tell you she’s amazing.
Wow. Even though I don't relate to this anymore, it still gets to me. I used to be the shy girl who tried so hard to be friends with everyone, even bringing jokes or snacks to lunch to make them like me. My worst years were from 3rd to 6th grade. Thankfully, I found a great group of friends at the start of 7th grade and we're still close in college. I've met even more people since then. But this experience made it hard for me to trust others. Sometimes I'm scared to start conversations. My social skills have improved though, and I'm happy about that.
In my experience, I have had really good friends move away, or as we grew older, we developed different interests and hobbies. Yet, at the same time, I did desire good friendships, but for almost all of my teenage years, I had a really difficult time making good friends. It has made me realize, that I’d much rather have a few really good friends, as opposed to having a gargantuan circle of friends (which, for me personally, would be very difficult to maintain).
I remember that I once had a really good friend that would keep doing stuff I really disliked and we got into a bunch of arguments. I kept using the forgive and forget method and one day I decided to not use it for once because I thought this time I couldn't take it. That was the time when our friendship broke.
I’m so bad at making friends. It’s so hard to find people I enjoy talking to or being with and when I do they stop talking to me which hurts. Long distance friendships can be really hard too, they find new better friends and there’s nothing you can do about it except hope they remember you.
The problem i've found in making friends is EVERY single time I reach out to people like to meet up, I get the same answer " Yeah cool I'm down for that ", then when they day comes there's always a reason they can't make it or they just ghost me. I have 4 friends in particalur that have done this for years, so now I just distance myself from them and don't ask to meet up anymore as I know what the answer will be. Like one of the easiest places I'd find to meet new people and form friendships is at conventions I enjoy, yes I have met new people. Would I call them friends though ? Nope. A lot of times people are only after followers on socail media to make themselfs look better and nothing more which I find utterly pointless.
Haven't had any friends, not a single one, for more than 10 years. I just don't know how to get a friend. Going somewhere alone feels akward and not being able to find a connection, because i have nothing to talk about, just widens the gap even more. I feel like people even tend to avoid me because I am an introvert and cannot relate to them.
I’m 16 years old. Never had any friends outside of the internet, not even in my early childhood. I’m suffering from depression and social anxiety as a result.
I'm a quite shy person, and I don't trust people easily. That is why I can't be manipulated easily, and can prove, that the person was fake. Something like that happened, one of my friends (I'll call her Laura) trusts people easily, so someone took advantage of that. She (let's call her Cecyl) basically manipulated her, so our group (Laura, her closest friend in our group, me and my best friend in the group) fell apart. For some reason, everytime when someone walked past us (Cecyl and me), she always told, that we were good friends now, and I just agreed, but I lied, because even if it seemed like it, I never trusted or liked her. So I kinda do a "test" on people. I don't expect much, I just talk with them like friends, so they think, we actually are. But I look at their behaviour, and if they are true friends. If they are fake, in the end it'll come out anyway. If they are true, I start trusting them more and more, it depends, on how the friendship keeps going.
I have one very close friend, and she is a true gift! 🤗 The rest are a bunch of flakes. 🙄 I used to feel hurt and disappointed, until I lowered my expectations, pulled my energy back, matching my effort to theirs, and downgraded them in my life. I’m on my own most of the time, but I am grateful for the times when I can connect with my true blue friend and with my mom too! She also has my back 😘
So I just had the most eye opening lucid dream of my entire life. I walked into some house some guy ignored the entirety of my presence but I walked into the room of some girl and she notices me almost instantly and nonchalantly calls me "monster". I am a horrific tyrant in my dreams (completely unlike me irl) so I tried to use infinite dream power to make her love me then and there and got all overly affectionate only for me to hear in a slightly more intense but not nescissarily scared voice "stop it monster.". Very confused at this, I stop and ask her why she doesn't love me and she responds by telling me that I'm way too forward and cuss too much. (I had cussed during this conversation but hadn't mentioned it yet). I then awkwardly ask if we could be friends to which she says "sure!". She then tells me about her plans for the day and that I could join if I wanted. I walked out of the house and woke up to see this as your latest video that was released the exact minute I woke up. (comment typed 2 minutes after video posted). I feel like I just got taught a life lesson in my dreams. Edit: She never did drop the "monster" moniker for me after she accepted my awkward friendship. It was nonchalant at the beggining, but the last time was almost playful...
man, im slowly starting to lose my friends. All because of boredom and stuff, or loss of interest. And I've gotten very attached to them, they're like family to me and i love them very much. How do i let this go because I've been thinking of leaving my friendgroup for a minute now and some of the others don't really want to. I want them the best but i feel like im being selfish, am i a bad friend? Im slowly losing my mind to this.
As an little shy and ambivert guy, i already got fake friends, i already been lonely at school and i did'nt really had friends, i was sad and i was playing videogames for entertain myself, for hide from the exterior, and now that i have friends, it feels good and i think that even autistic or introverts can make it, my little brother have an autistic friend and he have a lot of friends who supports him, the only secret for getting friends is never give up and to try, the only difference of making friends when you are autistic or an introvert is the way to do it, but am sure taht if everyone tries it, everyone can do it
Maintaining friendships is hard bc even tho I think they're amazing and we share each other's secrets I still struggle to actually feel that bond and I always think they secretly hate me a lot or find me boring which is why I kinda distance myself from them a lot and oh shit I got trust issues
It's really really hard for me to make friends. I really love making friends and will stay loyal to them as well. But others does not like to talk to me in the beginning. As an extroverted introvert, I don't attract people but really want friends. But when someone decides to talk to me, they get really close to such that I become their only support in their darkest hours. I really value each and every friendship. But no one talks to me. Idk why . I'm not ugly but I'm not attractive at all. I never attract anyone. The fact that I battle depression and I have abusive parents makes it worse. When I'm in a room, no one even noticed me. I feel so unwanted and neglected. Fake people always use me as a practice before making friends with " the cool one" and forget me altogether. Why were I even born....😓
Whenever I feel like I made a good/fun new friend, I always feel attached to them and distancing myself becomes a challenge. I guess it's a part of my sensitivity...
I'm an introvert who spends time away from others so most of these are relatable. I have friends but I don't like mixing with them because sometimes, they act like fake friends but the main reason is because I like alone time. Only one friend understands that. Plus I don't really want any more friends. I don't want to have to keep widening my circle of "trust". Not that there is a one. Some of my friends I can't trust. There's only one true friend I can trust and that's Arurora "Ocean Rivers" Snow. This is also one of the reasons why I don't want to be in a relationship. So it's just trust issues.
I guess, I relate to all of them. I'm an introvert and I'm often too tired for socializing; and recently had a depressive episode for 2 month. Plus, I'm often overburden with work, which I honestly don't mind. The person, who was my real friend for 5 years while we were living in the same city, couldn't understand my state and started blaming me for being aloof instead of supporting me during depression. That's how I lost a friend.
As a kid and in highschool you can have buddys than some people can have friends but in this day and age you can have tons of internet friends but face to face hang out friends no people use and abuse and are to shallow ...sad
Many people compete with each other on so many levels that they forget the importance of friendship. The only time you hear from them is during a breakup. I have always been a friendly person, but I have boundaries now that requires me to get something out of it too and using me as therapist is not apart of it. I can't fix you and don't fix me it's a balance . Then we have the "category friendship cliques" in the black community biased on straight dysfunction that I refuse to fit in. You should not have to be a church goer to make friends or in a sorority group. The only relationship you build is with a man not other single females. Single women are classified as relationship destroyers in my community not the actions of their partner. Lol! I am not a person that chases people for friendship or follower. I talk to anybody now that is open to great conversation and just enjoy the moment it works out better. I like cocktail hour with the girls not Zoom. Great Channel! 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Even before isolation it was hard to talk to people here. You try and be friendly with "hi there" "how are you?" and talking about things like news, weather, holidays, what they like to do,etc... But you often find them just ending the conversation short with "yeah" or "I suppose". It's like everyone would rather be on their phone than talking face to face >.>
How many friends did you make during this self-isolation period? Comment below.
no friends were made
I'm able to make friends but i do it a non-healthy way. I just force myself to get noticed like hurt myself or bully people and i don't know why i do this but i wanna leave that behind
Maybe not a lot, because it's hard for me to make friends but I think like 3ish
online friends :D
I made 3 quite a lot for me
as an introvert the best thing you could to is finding a friend who isn’t mentally/socially draining to be around
@Krishna Patel If no one is approaching you, try approaching others if you feel comfortable to do so.
Literally none of my friends are depressed or anxious except me
growing up it's hard to understand how to process how to interact with people especially when people talk behind your back when you where of special education ( I never knew I had autism, add and adhd till I was between 24 to.my current age of 31 or understand social cues or boundaries.) I learned to make friends who might be of similar interests. its kind of hard honestly.
@@scollaceyuri i felt the same way but if u think about it u realize is non necessarily true. many people only give u the impression of being okay while they could be depressed and lonely like u are. the main reason we feel like we are the only one being depressed is because very few people actually talk about it. one big step u could make would be talk about it with someone, u will realize u are not alone. i did it and it really helped even though i was scared to death at the idea of telling someone how i felt. i happened to find a couple of people that actually understood what i was feeling and some emotional support is the first thing u need. i feel like sharing your emotions n thought is the first step to heal and not to feel lonely anymore. and maybe the easy way of doing that is with a comment on youtube ;) hope i helped u out
I agree.
There is a time when you realise your friends were not really your friends and when you try to make new friends, its a battlefield
Which battlefield? I know atleast 9 of them.
@Krishna Patel can you cope like that?
Yeah, it isn't worth it at all to me anymore.
@Krishna Patel i can totally get dat, never really got any genuine frnds since childhood to now i was like the uncool kid for dem cuz i did not do rebellious things, bullying others or abusing im not even kidding thats the reason i heard frm people wen dey told me y i dont have frnds
To be honest I don't have any friends and don't plan on making them. My life has enough drama in it and going to midd school, well, I think my life will go better knowing that I don't need to TRY and make friends to cover for the fake ones.
_Is not like I have zero friends is just like I feel like an Outcast in every friend group I ever had_
Same
Then find another outcast and make your own group. 😆
Same
@@janoahj642 mmm yeah
Same
The most heartbreaking thing is watchin your close friends posting pics of a trip which you were not a part/invited...
That's when it's time to stop calling and texting them, and don't feel bad about it either, they clearly don't want you around.
Ruby Walker correct
Dheeraj A S you’re not alone
What? So if i will go on my family trip and post pictures of it i am basically back stabbing my friends? Everyone can take some time for themselves.
@@BlackSong_12 why did you break up with her then?
Am I the only one who feels that they're terrible at making friends?
I also struggle to make new friends because most of the people nowadays are just either using you or just doesn't respect you.
@sarit kumar ikr? Now only internet is my friend.
Im bad at making friends, the only reason I am able to get friends is through waiting for them to talk to me first
For me, it's not that hard to make friends, but true friends are people that only come once in a life time (honestly most friends I made used me, and ended up being horrible to me)
@@lefthandderivative Sometimes I also think that but at the end of the day everyone needs a friend. Honestly I don't like social media that much so I prefer to meet new people in person so that I can know themselves much better since I'm an introvert.
I haven't had a genuine friend since like elementary school
Same, the closest I've gotten to making freinds since I was about 8 was adults that I'm aquanted with, I mean, I actually hate MOST kids (even though I'm 12) so I really don't feel bad about it but I want someone to lean on and to communicate with other than family
Now thinking about it I haven’t made new friends in middle school and now I’m going into high school. The only friends I have are a few I new since elementary
Same \:
Same
Same. The other girls in my school just make me feel self conscious and when I try to talk to them they act like I’m not there
I only have two close friends. The other friends are just people in my life. Am I the only one with that kind these kinds of friendships?
Same with me, except for it was 1 close friend
no i only have one close friend who we equally talk to, you’re fine :)
only had 2 close friends and both of them moved into different towns
basically im lonely asf
Future34 P and P
Same!!!
I don't even have 1
One of the worst things in my high school period was when we sometimes had few free hours after classes and everyone was packing their stuff and planning where to hang out and spend those hours . I remember just sitting there in silence, waiting to be invited but no one invited me. Then I was sitting alone in school hall, seeing everyone talking and laughing while leaving school, I was ready to burst into tears, with chest pain because this shit hurt my feelings.
That's how I feel every. Damn. Day! At karate, at church, at gatherings, Everywhere! Sometimes I'll join a group, we will laugh and chat for about 5 minutes, then everyone will talk over me and ignore what I'm saying and slowly push me out of the group, idk what I do wrong but people don't seem to like me
Welp happened to me. people just talked to me because they were bored ._.
We can be friends if you want!
😊 you are beatiful and unique, probably God, universe, the destiny or whatever you believe, is holding a great person just like you. :)
This is the most truest thing I have ever related so far I feel like people who ignore u aren't worse it, and ur lucky that they didn't try to friend u just to use u so I think u dodged a bullet
Happens to me few time i can understand that hurts 💔 and you just sit there and don't want to be alive
Video: Why it’s hard to make friends?
Me: *Trust issues*
Definitely trust issues
I have trust issues -_-
I Love How To Train Your Dragon and being social awkward
Exactly! I broke up with my ex-best friend of 8 1/2 yrs in March(right before the quarantine started)and I already had trust issues before tht
to some extent(which is one out of MANY factors tht caused our friendship to end)but then after our friendship ended, my trust was completely and utterly SHATTERED and I felt like I had no trust left in me but now I'm trying to work on my trust issues and to lessen them, even if I can't 100% eradicate them =)
Tivona Thomas Oh my goodness...I’m so sorry about that. How do you feel about it now?
i do feel like making friends as a kid is really easy, but when you grow up, the definition of friendships changes and when you're an adult friends aren't important anymore because you have too many stuffs to do for yourself or your kids
@Pretty Boy true, tho I lost all my friends after my teen years because I was too awkward to keep contact with them
Sounds like adulthood fucking sucks
It’s not hard for me to make friends but it’s hard for me to keep them. I feel like sometimes I say the wrong thing and people get tired of me
Same
@@someone-tk5jh I relate on it, like after the first time I meet someone they tell me that I'm a great and funny person, but after that I feel like I fuck up something and they just don't want to deal with me. Not sad about it though, but a bit anxious about what's wrong with me
I relate to this.
Koko 05 same
•{м ι м ι l ι l ι є ѕ} • I do it too. I always got the feeling that I talk to much and that no one understands me because I don’t talk clearly. I mumble very much :/. (Srry 4 the bad English)
I’m honestly better at making friends online than in real life.
Same. I'm awkward in real life. But I'm not in games.
yoo, same
Me too
I just find it easier to type. I always stutter or mess up my words or just barely talk at all in real life.
yes same im not really good at speaking to people in real life but on online im like a cool person
I always get nervous around new people but when I talk to them more I feel more comfortable with them.
Sophie Jones and after a while we don’t talk ever again......
Me too! There moments of uncertainty and anxiety when interaction/encounters are fresh, just give them time to grow and root themselves!
Its the confrontation thats hard for me. Once i master it i'll make friends by blinking
I hope everyone had a great day
@Valentina Perozo not really, depression gets me💔
Faith Zikali I’m sorry, happens to me as well, especially last week it was really bad 💜 you got this, it’s okay to feel down but try do something you like doing today, whether it’s taking a bath or going for a run or watching a movie ❤️
same to you ❤️
Faith Zikali ❤️❤️
I can only HOPE
i find this hits close to home.
Welcome to neighborhood
Living here too...
Too close...
*"Making friends hasn't been your priority."*
This is the one I relate to the most. When I was in school, I focused more on my education. I wanted friends, but every time I did make a friend, I'd never see them again once the school year was done, or I'd never see them again after graduation.
Omg same! I’m currently in school taking summer classes even and I truly love school and don’t regret my passion for it and dedication but it’s seems impossible to have good friends that I continuously see like before in HighSchool.
Tryna find friends who actually care about me and my emotions. We getting there.
All the best in that :)
Me too
Still trying to find people who actually want to be my friend
@@gabyzz1331 we can be friends if you like :)
@@gabyzz1331 i wanna be Yr friend
Can we ve friends?
1. Past Friendships Still Haunt You
2. You're Tired Or Burnt Out
3. You Make Superficial, Situational Bonds
4. Technology Can Create Distance
5. Making Friends Has Not Been Your Priority
6. Too Many Commitments, Not Enough Time
Hope This Helped But Watch The Full Video To Understand More💖
Thanks
I really want to make friends but thoughts of self-doubt come flooding in everytime I try to
So this is weird but I think I'm 3 and 4 and somewhat 5 I think I'm not commited to hanging out with people because I just feel so weird so I don't so making friends could not be my priority...yet again I think I'm 3 because I tend to talk to people say for example online and it's about one topic that is probably "relatable" and then after talking we just don't talk again...or at school when I finally muster up the courage to speak and then after that people just go back to their friendship groups...I'm starting to hate myself because I have still been friends with someone who used to emotionally drain me like an energy vampire always wanting to hang out with me and being too nice...but now I just don't think of it though when they text me it's always some spams of heart emojis and smily faces and it sometimes makes me feel warm inside but then after a few seconds it's just unnatural to me...And I don't talk to them after a few days but I sometimes talk to them...and I feel like their energy has rubbed off onto me making me physically force myself to laugh or chuckle at theirs or people's weird jokes e.g. they always talk about chicken nuggets and curry sauce and idk what to say so I just say it with them but it's tireing me out...And I really don't want to forget about them or others because it's unfair I just want to make some real friends that bring out the best version of me like at school there's this one girl i used to sit next to maths in year 7 and a few other people who I believe have a good purity and a humorous side to them this includes boys as well in my year/grade wich is 10 and I just feel like I'm gonna regret sittin with the chicken nugget obsessed bubbly girl at lunch along with her friends...And it's just been confusing because I have another friend who is actually going through so much bless her heart including heart break from the chickennnugget girl and I honestly want to help her through her issues but don't know how to and when we sometimes talk at school I feel so awkward and just listen to her nodding my head and stuff because what would I say that would make her react good or bad or in between? I want to be honest....with everyone and I want to be me not some person who doesn't like the path where I chose to go....and the girl who i used to sit with in maths in year 7 might not even like me anymore or she might find me unintresting and boring even though I love to do art and I a different class...I'm think about switching classes but I can't because I am not trying to cling onto anyone I just want to better for myself and for the people around me...I don't know who I am and il just regret not speaking to anyone at the times my heart felt I needed to...
Oh and to make things worse. Chicken nugget girl always talks about wanting to buy an apartment and me moving on with her wanting is to get jobs at 16...I honestly just don't really know ....I mean life makes ppl go their own paths idk why she thinks everything is gonna be perfect how she plans- 😓
Number 6 might apply to me. It's tough to match people's free time. Alone time is good. But, some things aren't satisfying to do alone. Watching sports & flying is more satisfying with a partner.
No. 1 and 5 are literally my social life so far
I hope I can have some true friends around eventually
Good luck.
The new art style is so amazing!!
Glad you like it! :)
@@Psych2go thank you.... for making this it helps me understand but im still worried about finding a true friendship it's scary.... you probably won't even see this after all i'm just a random person telling you my problems i'm sorry for ranting
Since graduating college, I've been STRUGGLING with making friends!!! I think it definitely has more to do with everyone's busy schedule and finding time is so hard. ALSO, since you're at work the majority of the time, it's hard to meet people outside of work! WHY IS BEING AN ADULT SO HARD
wait you don’t see your friends from college ?
sherry Yu i Dont because everyone is all over the states!
Be connected to them with internet.
It seems to have tougher since cutting out Seaspar. I'm looking at how to make more female friends in real life.
Reasons why making friends are hard:
1. QUARANTINE
Yeah, I'd made a goal to make a new friend this year and I was just starting to and then...
QUARANTINE
Only if your'e an extrovert lol, us introverts could care less about quarantine.
I just moved to a completely new place like a month ago too, and cuz quarantine I don't really have any friends where I live and I can't really see any of my old friends, cuz quarantine and the long drive TwT
fun times
RedRoseSeptember22 all the extroverts be dying when they heard they couldn’t go out to make new friends and have some fun
*laughs in sweden*
It's very surprising to see so many comments of people talking about struggling to make friends because everyone around me seems to have no trouble making friends
I connected with my old friends in this lockdown and now it feels wholesome somehow. Feels like your inner child still has someone to talk to ❤️
are you interested in commenting back to me or talking to me? if not, you aren't a friend
@@danimarcushevic3114 are we friends?
Personally, I don't think I can relate to any of these things
While I can relate that past friendships can ruin trust I think that the reason that I don't make new friends is actually that I simply don't go out enough or have good social skills. For me it's as simple as that.
Being boring and socially awkward would be my main reason.
I’m about to start a journey of becoming a social introvert. Got a few books about socializing but already feel burnt out just by finding some haha
strange person if you are creative, kind of shy and have trust issues we could be friends 🙃
I broke up with my best friend, don’t get me wrong she was very nice. But ever since I started liking BTS she’d say things like “BTS are trash” and “Your opinion doesn’t matter.” I don’t think she realized that BTS was one of the only reasons I actually wanted to live. BTS aren’t just “some hot Korean guys” to me... so I couldn’t stand someone constantly talking bad about them. I respected her opinion and that she didn’t like them, but she couldn’t respect mine. When I told her we could no longer be friends she said that I wasn’t a good friend anyway... I’m guessing that’s true, but it still hurt.
savannah video's lol that’s my personality in a nutshell
I think the hardest thing in my life has been attempting to make friends. In part because I'm always afraid they're keeping me around just to make fun of me or insult me behind my back. I'm also afraid they keep me around because they feel sorry for me and pity me. It probably comes from my lack of self-worth and severe trust issues. I haven't had any friends since middle school and I'm now in my mid-20's. It's all really frustrating since I've met people that say their my friend, but they just use me and I never felt our interactions were anything close to a friendship.
same here :( how are you now ?
Same
How are you doing now?
I'm planning to make myself more interesting and make friends a priority. I realize now they haven't been. Im also an introvert in college and working at the same time. It's been rough
I don’t really know about the technology distancing friendships, I’ve kinda made more friends online than in real life or at school. The way I have met them is in a game we both really like, we relate a lot and they aren’t all fake like my past friends.
What... game?
@@ozapprime7824 roblox mostly
Friends should also be about helping each other not just about common interests. Otherwise, they’re considered temporary.
@@NinjaGodIvan factss
I have trouble making friends due to my autism, ADHD, social anxiety and depression which all makes socializing a lot harder for me. I’m also tired of people constantly bullying me or people saying that they are my friend but never want to hangout with me.
Shall we be friends?
I know right it’s so tiring hearing that all the time what’s the point of saying that if they don’t actually mean it I had people who said it but when push came to shoved they was never there for me
You are not alone, I have social anxiety too we can be friends
Making friends was usually pretty easy for me. Unfortunately, most of my friendships faded due to growing apart. Its also extremely hard when some of your closest friends pass away. If I had all my friends in my life, I would probably have 50 or more. Luckily, I still have my friends from my childhood while still trying to reach out for new ones 💖
if you really want to reach for new friends, you would accept a lot of people here commenting to you and visiting you
I let most of my friendships wither away. I simply stopped initiating conversations. It's amazing how much apathy that reveals. I thought I needed a lot of friends, but I found out that emotional freedom feels so much sweeter. I've learned to be my own best friend, and that has helped the friendships I chose to keep.
that's right, no friends, no family, no job, no spot to live in, no online, just independency
Why is it hard? For me, I'm an introvert with social anxiety that sometimes feels crippling. And I'm terrible at small talk for the most part. So if the potential friend can't carry 99% of the conversation for the first bit until we find something I can give input on, then I'm screwed. Lol
But honestly, the hardest part is that it sometimes feels like I'm overstepping boundaries by saying literally anything at all. And although I know that's probably not the case most of the time, it's a feeling that always lingers. So it makes it hard to even ask basic questions that I may be remotely curious about.
I've been trying to be mindful of my behavior for a while now, trying to discover exactly what situations trigger my anxiety. I've noticed a lot, but still don't understand myself. Lol
I feel this ! Or when you get ignored and/or they make you somehow feel like you asked a dumb question
Thanks for respecting introverts.
You're videos are very kind compassionate and practical.
Very comforting for those who just came from awkward encounters.
Thinking of High school makes me emotional. My group pretended I was part of their circle but they actually even talked shit about my sister, let alone me. I never want to go to batch reunions because I don't know how to face them after all these years. They were emotional bullies. I don't know how to face emotional bullies who pretended to be your friend
I would've gave those dudes a piece of my mind.
making friends? pssh, as if i even try
Same
it's not like i want a friend or anything, Baka.
Oof same
ikr id most like make freinds in game but id find my self not even talking to them the next day
lol
Its been almost a year since my wife left me. Ive been focusing on being there for our kids and bettering myself. I suffer from chronic depression but my mood swings are arising less often nowadays. Thank you psyche2go for these videos. They have helped to get me in the space i need to be to make my life better. Wip
"Social media is infamous for promoting comparison and comparison between friends and even strangers" I felt that
I've had so many toxic friendships that I've just completely given up on finding new friends...
I feel you 💯💯💯💯mood
Mood
New video about making friends? Me sobbing in the corner watching this, making mental notes for future social interactions
“I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects.” [Oscar Wilde]. Our phones fall, we PANIC. Our Friends fall, we LAUGH 😊
If my friend was made of glass, then yes, i'd panic
@@joeyjointjebaiter1275 "I was born with glass bones and paper skin. Every morning I break my legs, and every afternoon I break my arms. At night, I lie awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep."
4. technology creates distance...
i feel the bigger problem from this point is that technology promotes quantity over quality connections. because you are interacting with everyone, any meaningful "one to ones" are lost among a sea of strangers. and if someone peeves you, you just block them and move onto the next. rather than interacting with "people", the "people" merely become pieces/components that makes up a community/group.
in a sense its ironic that with human connections becoming too readily available, that it like everything else loses value, and without any meaningful connections (because it all becomes too watered down), we become isolated.
its crazy how many people don't have friends and would love to have even 1 friend to talk to yet no one of us approach each other or try to befriend each other...
For me it’s really hard I’m basically a player for friendships. I move on super quickly so I don’t have actual close friends in class. I’m very shy and come with quite a few mental illnesses so it’s even Harder for me
Well well look who it is
No one wants to be your friend, Corona 😒. Thx to you, we’re stuck inside
Desmond Oko I’m saying this as a person not as my account
Corona Virus I know. I was just messing with you 😅
I kinda relate to this, I think I'm a terrible friend and sometimes I just want to lock myself in a cage, somewhere no one could reach me so I don't hurt people. For me it's hard to maintain a friendship. I'm feeling like the worst person in the world.
Its actually quite harder to make friends now. People say dating is harder. But friendships are harder too. Because people are getting more immature, social media prevalence, therefore more rudeness.
I feel i am different from others. I have lack of knowledge about the things others like. And yeah.."past frienships haunts you". My school life isn't that good. i was alone. And now i am trying to socialise but it's really difficult for me.
Ya I'm trying to do that too
Someone told me "You will never be happy because you need to make more friends" to them I just said. "No I don't need friends to make me happy. Only myself can make me happy and others who respect me for who I am" its rare to find people who supports you and cares for you no matter what you're doing.
Psych2Go the art has improved so much it is so cute and amazing! Plus I love the narrating
If you have 1 or 2 Loyal friends, that is pure gold. REALNESS in people nowdays is hard to find....
Loyal friends are like a myth nowadays
@@chris-cx9fq i agree..
@@curtistinemiller4646 it's like we live in a generation where people don't know how to be loyal and social anymore
@@curtistinemiller4646 social media is the downfall of society
@@chris-cx9fq yeah Social media is adding to the drama..
Why does TH-cam feel the need to constantly remind me of how lonely I am?
IKR. Like it knows you very well.
Same. I'm constantly having videos recommended to do with social life.
Omg same
Same here. This woman's voice actually makes it worse. Does anyone agree there's no fun any more? No comedy in case someone's offended? No belly laughs? What a miserable crap video(s). 😠
Because this is the topic of the century and they are making profit from tackling it
In addition to these reasons, I think one reason why making friends has been hard for me is because of my attachment style. People mostly talk about attachment styles and the attachment theory in romantic relationships, but I think they affect friendships as well. I developed an avoidant attachment style during my childhood, and now not only do I avoid romantic relationships, but I also wall myself off from others and avoid all relationships in general. It is hard for me to make friends.
I do go through this same thing. I'm 20 years old and i have a hard time making any friends. I have lost many friends and i feel alone. But this video gave me a clarity where i lack.. great video!! 🎉
I make friends easily, kind of but I struggle to mantain the friendship, as they are all in groups
speaking from experience, i would like to add one aside from the ones stated in this video. *always seeing the worst in people.* it was always super difficult to make friends as a kid because i constantly was seeing the flaws in people. especially as a kid, no one is perfect. i failed to see that and i also thought that i was perfect. i assumed it was everyone elses fault when i wasnt getting friends. what i realized that friendships must be a mutual connection. i cannot always be the one waiting for someone to approach me, and vice versa. thank you :)
The first was most of the reason for me. I take time to fully consider someone a friend, to trust that they actually wanted to be friends and they won't leave just as I was feeling comfortable with them. All because of a thing that happened in the past, which was followed by long long years of loneliness (capped by depression caused by losing hope of my situation someday changing, when I was already grieving the death of a close family member). I have one friend now, and it happened because she consistently looked for my presence when we were enrolling in school. Enrollment took days because we had to take medical examinations and vaccines to make sure us students are healthy. And she would text me and ask if we can still go together the next day and we'll decide on where we'll meet. One night I was the one who texted first, feeling self-conscious and worrying that...I dunno, that maybe I was assuming too much that she wanted to be friends when in reality she doesn't? But nope, things continued. We sat next to each other, ate snacks and lunch together, walked together after school, talked about our interests and our homes, etc. etc. And I came to trust that I can count on her if I needed someone.
And the second one, I'm an introvert lol. She is, too, so I have no worries about her dragging me to parties against my will or something haha. Though she is a friendlier and more social introvert, so I also kinda ended up talking and coming to trust other classmates that she was friends with. I guess it also helped that I was at the tail end of my recovery from depression. Good thing too, or the stress of college would've crushed me.
That is a very beautiful story. ⭐
That is or was all my former friends, 3 years ago. I was an addict whose only friend group were other addicts. I got clean and sober, they didn't. Now I am alone, anxiety ridden, depressed, tired and just wanting to make a friend who shares my interests.
I just turned 40 a few weeks ago, it is hard starting over trying to make new friends without feeling really really creepy.
I’ve had social anxiety for the past 4 years and all throughout middle school I haven’t been able to make a single friend. Around the beginning of my freshman year I’ve forced myself to talk to people and start some conversations but so far people seem disinterested in becoming my friend. Another problem is I wanna be friends with people who I have similar interests with, but even those people are hard to approach, I get talked over when I speak and they still find me boring.
me too
Me too. I’m also neurodivergent which makes me unaware of social skills and awkward to talk with others, so people just dislike being around me.
My parents are part of the reason i dont have any friends, they question everything about the people who wanted to hang out with me and that drew my friends away so im alone
Why making friends is so hard
1. Past friendships still haunt you
2. Your tired or burnt out
3. You make superficial, situational bonds
4. Technology can create distance
5. Making friends hasn't been your priority
6. Too many commitments, not enough time
Finding a real friend who is interested in the things you like is impossible
I realized since I was small I could never connect to anyone my age. I grew up an only child and have pretty severe adhd, so I tend to be bossy or intense. Over the years I've developed avoidance attachment and am also very sensitive from trauma about the changes in tone and body language in someone. Those mixed with my inability to relate or connect with people my age has led me to a handful of friends I have, but I realized i still can't communicate on deep connections with people since I don't know much on the trends and also im extroverted. Its kind of scary and I wonder if ill be able yo turn around and connect again, but its too vulnerable now. And a lot of energy
Same
I'm afraid with my old friendship start to fade when I reach to secondary school.I always an introvert ,my friends start get rid of me with no reason
I feel like when you're young, say in Nursery or Primary School. Everyone just seems to get on but once you become more grown up. High School onwards. People set boundaries and are less open then when they are young. As society is like that. I do still believe there are genuine people out there, who you can connect with. The mind works differently when someone is young to Adulthood. Say. A little child..as an example, is full of wonder, and amazed at everything, and have an imagination, they enjoy interacting with others, initially for the most part. I feel when you're young. No one judges anyone as kids don't think that way. But as we grow older. People Judge, without even knowing the person and they may or may not be a nice person. It depends. It's all to do with who has this, who has achieved that academically, Status. Who has the better job. That is not always the case with everyone but with some. I find some people like 'you' depending on what you're parents do rather then how you as a person. I get having academics and a good job isn't all bad and a good thing but I don't like people only befriending other's for example just because of that. It is superficial. Some bullies pick on others due to their upbringing, or not getting enough attention or because of jealousy or their own insecurities or are just purely mean or life situation.. And are like that the rest of their lives. I tend to see people who are fairly well off or say have money; People flock too and seem to love them. Or people who seem like they are perfect or 'wealthy' as just an appearance. People gush over them. Love them. That is superficial. It is almost like not being a nice person is good enough. You have to have everything. Can be draining thinking about it. That doesn't apply to all but I have encountered people like that.
I understand there are good people out there who like you for you. Not solely because of everything else.
Sometimes you think that friends are your friends then you realise, no they aren't at all. Just aquantainces.
I used to pour my heart and soul to others. But they never reciprocated
in terms of friendships. It's works both ways doesn't it. So I have learnt not to be in touch as often as I used to be and not chase after others if they aren't interested in being friends. I think I was too nice. Now, I am putting that on hold and taking care of myself. Self care. And not worrying about having to be with friends and doing more things on my own and loving myself. Right. I am going to go now. Sorry, for this long message. Bye. Omg. RANT OVER.
Have a good day. If anyone actually reads this. Ahaha.☺
I have too many responsibilities and bigger priorities to tend to. People say if you truly love someone you’ll make time for them but on the other hand I mustn’t put others before my needs and become codependent living for them. I have no frickin idea how to solve my dilemma. Snapchating and texting friends and family is what I’ve been doing lately but it isn’t enough because it’s not face-to-face. One thing however that keeps me from feeling completely friendless and lonely is my daily interactions with my coworkers!
“Past friendship still haunts you”
Me: yea that’s why I’m scared to make new friends now 😔
Edit: ⊙.☉ WOAH IM FREAKING OUT (again) RIGHT NOW. I never had that many likes on my comments before. Thank you guys so much (thx again!!)❤️ you guys really brighten my mood!!!Thanks again guys ୧(＾ 〰 ＾)୨
I can relate 😞
@@iris_0404 Shhhhhh it's ok I'm here :3
Scared? It’s insecurity!
Silent Drift *almost every friend ships haunts me *
@@lollalofi3933 true ୧| ͡ᵔ ﹏ ͡ᵔ |୨
Making friends as an adult is extremely hard. Especially when you got mental disabilities, and lies & rumors still floating around back stabbing former friends and ex boyfriends that people choose to believe. I barely even have local friends to hangout with. Just friends online that live states or countries away.
The voice actor for these videos has the most soothing voice. I've actually started to get anxious every time I click on a new video because I worry if it'll be someone else..
Yah. I am definitely number 1. In elementary school some kids who had been in the class with me for years who I called friends made fun of me for the whole school year. The school had tried to help but nothing worked. I used to be super outgoing but now because of that I have severe trust issues and am super shy. I only open up to people who I really trust.
I don't make friends because having some friends is shit they don't care about you and they only care when they want something to you so MAKING FRIENDS REALLY SUCKS
This video is more about maintaining friendships than making friends and i struggle with both.
Reasons why it's hard to make friends is that they are so many fake people, they will just use you, influence you to do bad things, toxic, backstabs you, they are not real friends😑😒I would really prefer to be alone than having fake friends!!!
Just try to at least get casual friends. Can't be backstabbed if they're almost never there.
i had a ex best friend on middle school,i was the first one to approach him and then we became best friends.but later on our relationship became more and more off because i didnt realize i was being toxic to him and whenever he apologized so many times we ended up being together again but i didnt learned my lesson and still was that toxic person,now the words i said to him before it’s what he is using now and his attitude wasn’t the same before,we both changed,i became low self esteem beacuse of what i did to him,luckily my relatives kept saying i should let him go for the better,i did.right now i'm aware of befriending someone because i wanna be a better person than my oldself,i was hoping to have any friends in my new school
It’s even harder than usually during this pandemic
Too tired, and I often believe people don't really care about me or what I say. They like me to keep them company but most of the time I dnt feel part of the group. It has been a while now since peeps talk to me through text, now i rarely write if that feeling creeps in. thanks god that those 2 friends still exist, but I still feel empty, alone and every once in a while when I do go out and talk, I get social anxiety and it sucks. Right now I'm feeling the emptiness when i should be sleeping .
i’d rather make online friends with near the same time zone/ time zone that matches my sleep schedule because i don’t have to talk to people in person. i currently have great friend with the same time zone and let me tell you she’s amazing.
Wow. Even though I don't relate to this anymore, it still gets to me. I used to be the shy girl who tried so hard to be friends with everyone, even bringing jokes or snacks to lunch to make them like me. My worst years were from 3rd to 6th grade. Thankfully, I found a great group of friends at the start of 7th grade and we're still close in college. I've met even more people since then. But this experience made it hard for me to trust others. Sometimes I'm scared to start conversations. My social skills have improved though, and I'm happy about that.
In my experience, I have had really good friends move away, or as we grew older, we developed different interests and hobbies. Yet, at the same time, I did desire good friendships, but for almost all of my teenage years, I had a really difficult time making good friends. It has made me realize, that I’d much rather have a few really good friends, as opposed to having a gargantuan circle of friends (which, for me personally, would be very difficult to maintain).
I remember that I once had a really good friend that would keep doing stuff I really disliked and we got into a bunch of arguments. I kept using the forgive and forget method and one day I decided to not use it for once because I thought this time I couldn't take it. That was the time when our friendship broke.
“when we were younger, friendships weren’t always so difficult to maintain”
**sobs in 5 years old with social anxiety**
same
I’m so bad at making friends. It’s so hard to find people I enjoy talking to or being with and when I do they stop talking to me which hurts. Long distance friendships can be really hard too, they find new better friends and there’s nothing you can do about it except hope they remember you.
Easier to make friends at school or uni. Once you're out in the working world things gets even harder trust me. 😫
The problem i've found in making friends is EVERY single time I reach out to people like to meet up, I get the same answer " Yeah cool I'm down for that ", then when they day comes there's always a reason they can't make it or they just ghost me. I have 4 friends in particalur that have done this for years, so now I just distance myself from them and don't ask to meet up anymore as I know what the answer will be. Like one of the easiest places I'd find to meet new people and form friendships is at conventions I enjoy, yes I have met new people. Would I call them friends though ? Nope. A lot of times people are only after followers on socail media to make themselfs look better and nothing more which I find utterly pointless.
Haven't had any friends, not a single one, for more than 10 years. I just don't know how to get a friend.
Going somewhere alone feels akward and not being able to find a connection, because i have nothing to talk about, just widens the gap even more.
I feel like people even tend to avoid me because I am an introvert and cannot relate to them.
I’m 16 years old. Never had any friends outside of the internet, not even in my early childhood. I’m suffering from depression and social anxiety as a result.
I'm a quite shy person, and I don't trust people easily. That is why I can't be manipulated easily, and can prove, that the person was fake.
Something like that happened, one of my friends (I'll call her Laura) trusts people easily, so someone took advantage of that.
She (let's call her Cecyl) basically manipulated her, so our group (Laura, her closest friend in our group, me and my best friend in the group) fell apart. For some reason, everytime when someone walked past us (Cecyl and me), she always told, that we were good friends now, and I just agreed, but I lied, because even if it seemed like it, I never trusted or liked her.
So I kinda do a "test" on people. I don't expect much, I just talk with them like friends, so they think, we actually are. But I look at their behaviour, and if they are true friends. If they are fake, in the end it'll come out anyway. If they are true, I start trusting them more and more, it depends, on how the friendship keeps going.
I have one very close friend, and she is a true gift! 🤗 The rest are a bunch of flakes. 🙄 I used to feel hurt and disappointed, until I lowered my expectations, pulled my energy back, matching my effort to theirs, and downgraded them in my life. I’m on my own most of the time, but I am grateful for the times when I can connect with my true blue friend and with my mom too! She also has my back 😘
So I just had the most eye opening lucid dream of my entire life. I walked into some house some guy ignored the entirety of my presence but I walked into the room of some girl and she notices me almost instantly and nonchalantly calls me "monster". I am a horrific tyrant in my dreams (completely unlike me irl) so I tried to use infinite dream power to make her love me then and there and got all overly affectionate only for me to hear in a slightly more intense but not nescissarily scared voice "stop it monster.". Very confused at this, I stop and ask her why she doesn't love me and she responds by telling me that I'm way too forward and cuss too much. (I had cussed during this conversation but hadn't mentioned it yet). I then awkwardly ask if we could be friends to which she says "sure!". She then tells me about her plans for the day and that I could join if I wanted. I walked out of the house and woke up to see this as your latest video that was released the exact minute I woke up. (comment typed 2 minutes after video posted). I feel like I just got taught a life lesson in my dreams.
Edit: She never did drop the "monster" moniker for me after she accepted my awkward friendship. It was nonchalant at the beggining, but the last time was almost playful...
man, im slowly starting to lose my friends. All because of boredom and stuff, or loss of interest. And I've gotten very attached to them, they're like family to me and i love them very much. How do i let this go because I've been thinking of leaving my friendgroup for a minute now and some of the others don't really want to. I want them the best but i feel like im being selfish, am i a bad friend? Im slowly losing my mind to this.
As an little shy and ambivert guy, i already got fake friends, i already been lonely at school and i did'nt really had friends, i was sad and i was playing videogames for entertain myself, for hide from the exterior, and now that i have friends, it feels good and i think that even autistic or introverts can make it, my little brother have an autistic friend and he have a lot of friends who supports him, the only secret for getting friends is never give up and to try, the only difference of making friends when you are autistic or an introvert is the way to do it, but am sure taht if everyone tries it, everyone can do it
Maintaining friendships is hard bc even tho I think they're amazing and we share each other's secrets I still struggle to actually feel that bond and I always think they secretly hate me a lot or find me boring which is why I kinda distance myself from them a lot and oh shit I got trust issues
It's really really hard for me to make friends. I really love making friends and will stay loyal to them as well. But others does not like to talk to me in the beginning. As an extroverted introvert, I don't attract people but really want friends. But when someone decides to talk to me, they get really close to such that I become their only support in their darkest hours. I really value each and every friendship.
But no one talks to me. Idk why . I'm not ugly but I'm not attractive at all. I never attract anyone. The fact that I battle depression and I have abusive parents makes it worse. When I'm in a room, no one even noticed me. I feel so unwanted and neglected. Fake people always use me as a practice before making friends with " the cool one" and forget me altogether.
Why were I even born....😓
Whenever I feel like I made a good/fun new friend, I always feel attached to them and distancing myself becomes a challenge. I guess it's a part of my sensitivity...
I'm an introvert who spends time away from others so most of these are relatable. I have friends but I don't like mixing with them because sometimes, they act like fake friends but the main reason is because I like alone time. Only one friend understands that. Plus I don't really want any more friends. I don't want to have to keep widening my circle of "trust". Not that there is a one. Some of my friends I can't trust. There's only one true friend I can trust and that's Arurora "Ocean Rivers" Snow. This is also one of the reasons why I don't want to be in a relationship. So it's just trust issues.
for me it's hard to leave friends, and i definetely gotta say goodbye to somr of them.
I guess, I relate to all of them. I'm an introvert and I'm often too tired for socializing; and recently had a depressive episode for 2 month. Plus, I'm often overburden with work, which I honestly don't mind. The person, who was my real friend for 5 years while we were living in the same city, couldn't understand my state and started blaming me for being aloof instead of supporting me during depression. That's how I lost a friend.
As a kid and in highschool you can have buddys than some people can have friends but in this day and age you can have tons of internet friends but face to face hang out friends no people use and abuse and are to shallow ...sad
I've always had problems making friends when I was much younger and now all I want to do is just be alone forever
Looking at this, remind the last time a friend said "I love you" has been like, 9 years ago.
Many people compete with each other on so many levels that they forget the importance of friendship. The only time you hear from them is during a breakup. I have always been a friendly person, but I have boundaries now that requires me to get something out of it too and using me as therapist is not apart of it. I can't fix you and don't fix me it's a balance . Then we have the "category friendship cliques" in the black community biased on straight dysfunction that I refuse to fit in. You should not have to be a church goer to make friends or in a sorority group. The only relationship you build is with a man not other single females. Single women are classified as relationship destroyers in my community not the actions of their partner. Lol! I am not a person that chases people for friendship or follower. I talk to anybody now that is open to great conversation and just enjoy the moment it works out better. I like cocktail hour with the girls not Zoom.
Great Channel! 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
Even before isolation it was hard to talk to people here. You try and be friendly with "hi there" "how are you?" and talking about things like news, weather, holidays, what they like to do,etc... But you often find them just ending the conversation short with "yeah" or "I suppose".
It's like everyone would rather be on their phone than talking face to face >.>