No word can describe how much you helped me with this 2-part videos. Guilt on every little things I’ve done has been eating me alive for many years. Thank you so much for giving me ways and hope to finally move on.
Wow, it's incredibly humbling to hear that these videos have made such a profound impact on your life. Guilt is an incredibly challenging emotion to navigate, and I'm glad that the content could provide you with some guidance and hope. You're not alone, and it's brave of you to take steps toward healing. Thank you for your kind words, and take care.
as a young teenager i made a lot of mistakes and hurt a lot of people mentally and emotionally and i'm still holding onto that years later wondering if it'll ever come back to bite me and its hard to make amends since it was quite a while ago thank you for this video though i'm gonna try my best to just forgive myself today instead of constantly looking for ways to distract myself and obsessing about it
thank you fo the advices I was in a bad place doing the mistake again and again but instead of apologizing this time I wıll grow and make good I hope it helps
Hi @bruskbukun2927, It's great to hear that the video resonated with you and that you're taking steps towards positive change. It takes courage to acknowledge past mistakes and even more strength to choose growth and making amends. Remember, progress is not always linear, and there might be setbacks along the way. Be kind to yourself, and celebrate even the small victories. I'm rooting for you! Keep moving forward and focusing on building a better future for yourself.
Best video on Gilt I've ever seen, however that's there's one thing situation that is missing. How to handle guild when a person has passed away, and you can't even have a conversation with them to apologize for something you have said or in any way you have acted.
I'm glad you found the video valuable, @jenniferpetrellicarslearni2265. Coping with guilt related to someone who has passed away presents unique challenges, as direct reconciliation isn't possible. It's important to remember that healing can still occur. Consider expressing your feelings through writing a letter to them, even if you can't send it, or by honouring their memory in a way that feels meaningful to you. Seeking support from a therapist can also provide space to explore these feelings and find ways to forgive yourself and move forward.
Coping with guilt, especially following the loss of a beloved pet under such circumstances, is deeply challenging. The "goal" of your guilt might be your subconscious mind's way of seeking resolution or making sense of a tragic event. This guilt can stem from feelings of responsibility, regret, or thinking about "what could have been done differently." To navigate through this, it's essential to acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Understand that accidents happen, and despite our best intentions, we cannot control every outcome. Focusing on the love and care you provided throughout your dog's life can also be a comforting reflection. Consider speaking about your feelings with someone who understands, whether it's a friend, family member, or professional counsellor. They can offer support and perspective that you might find hard to see right now. Finding a way to honour your dog's memory can also be a healing step. This could be through creating a small memorial, writing a letter expressing your feelings and memories, or even volunteering at an animal shelter when you feel ready. These actions can help shift the focus from what was lost to the positive impact your dog had on your life. Remember, healing from guilt is a process, and it's okay to seek help navigating through it.
Dealing with guilt from significant mistakes is tough, @xenajade6264. Accepting responsibility for your actions is the first step. Try to seek forgiveness from those affected, if possible. It's also crucial to learn from these experiences to avoid repeating the same mistakes. Remember to forgive yourself too. You're human, and everyone makes mistakes. Seeking support from a mental health professional can be beneficial. They can offer tailored guidance and coping strategies. It's not just about the mistakes, but how you respond to them and what you learn from them that really matters.
@@sullivanandassociates Thank you for replying. Learning from the mistakes is useless now as the mistakes were about how I brought up my children and decisions I made when they were young and its too late to change anything now. The regret is killing me. I will seek some counselling. Thanks again.
@@xenajade6264, I'm glad to hear you found the response helpful and are considering counseling. It's never too late to address the pain and regret you're feeling. While you can't change the past, counseling can help you find ways to make peace with it and potentially mend and improve relationships with your children, no matter their age. Remember, seeking help is a brave and positive step towards healing and finding a way to move forward. Your willingness to reflect and take this step is commendable.
they can accept the apology but not the things you did. It will still go back to the feeling of guilt....it's not that easy that is why Spiritual strength comes in and with the people to help you grow spirituality as well. And what if they don't accept your apology?
@akonato9994, you've touched on a complex aspect of dealing with guilt, especially when apologies aren't accepted. It's true that the path to resolving guilt often isn't straightforward, and spiritual strength, alongside support from others, can be invaluable resources during these times. When someone doesn't accept your apology, it's important to remember that you can't control others' responses or forgiveness processes. What you can control is your own process of making amends and seeking growth from the experience. In these instances, focusing on what you've learned from the mistake and how it has changed you for the better can be a source of solace and personal development. Spiritual growth can provide a sense of peace and understanding beyond the immediate situation. Engaging in spiritual practices that resonate with you can offer comfort and guidance. This might include meditation, prayer, attending services, or speaking with a spiritual leader. Additionally, seeking support from a counselor or therapist can help navigate the feelings of unresolved guilt. They can offer strategies to cope with these feelings constructively and help you move towards self-forgiveness, even when forgiveness from others isn't possible. Ultimately, growth and healing from guilt are deeply personal processes that involve self-reflection, acceptance, and sometimes, embracing the reality that some things are beyond our control.
@mariobertachini6081, you're absolutely right. Dropping a feeling isn't as straightforward as setting down a physical object. It's a lot more complex because emotions are deeply intertwined with our thoughts, experiences, and physiological responses. The idea of "dropping" a feeling like guilt is more about learning to manage and process the emotion in a healthy way, rather than simply getting rid of it. This can involve understanding why you feel guilty, evaluating the validity of this feeling, and then taking steps to address it-whether that's through self-forgiveness, making amends, or changing behavior. It's a gradual process and often requires a bit of introspection and sometimes even guidance, whether that's through self-help resources or professional support. It's about finding ways to let the feeling of guilt exist without letting it overwhelm or control you. Think of it more as learning to carry the 'box' more comfortably, rather than just dropping it.
It sounds like you're trying to navigate complex emotional territory in your relationship, @Someguynamedbanning. Saying sorry often doesn't feel like enough because actions usually speak louder than words. If apologies aren't cutting it, the next step may be to identify the root cause of the issues that lead to feelings of guilt or the need to apologize. This could involve clear and open communication with your partner to understand each other's needs and expectations. Then, consider taking tangible steps to change behavior or resolve the issue. This can range from setting new boundaries to compromising on a shared problem. Keep in mind that true change is a process that takes time, but showing that you're committed to improvement could go a long way. Always remember to consult with a qualified professional for personalized advice on managing relationship issues.
9:10 I suspect those different ways were the best friend and the rocking chair tests? Your video was valuable to stop me from insisting on apologizing. The other person is confusing. They've avoided me, then they've sought me out, all the while I've been feeling guilty and wanted to apologize to them. I don't know what they want from me, why they didn't want to see me before, why they want to see me now. They aren't talking to me. I've considered seeing a third party for something unrelated, and relay a quick apology to the affected person by the end in a uninstrusive way. I was not given permission, but the person now makes eye contact with me without speaking. I suspect this is the best way to relieve myself from this feeling, but I don't want to bother them either. I've felt guilty for 9 months over absolutely nothing. All I know is that an "I'm sorry is due", and not being on speaking terms over absolutely nothing is such a waste of time, I can't begin to describe it. I don't know what to do.. So I suspect those two tests were the ways to deal with guilt if permission indeed is not given?
@baxter987, I appreciate your thoughtful comment and am glad the video offered some value in navigating this complex situation. It sounds like you're in a truly frustrating and emotionally draining situation. Feeling guilty for 9 months, especially when you're not even sure what caused the initial rift, is a heavy burden to carry. It's also commendable that you're prioritizing the other person's comfort and not wanting to bother them, even while you're struggling with your own feelings of guilt. This demonstrates empathy and consideration, which are crucial in navigating any conflict, especially when the other person's motivations are unclear. The "Best Friend Test" and "Rocking Chair Test" are indeed designed to help you gain perspective when making amends directly isn't possible. They encourage you to consider how you would advise someone you care about in a similar situation, and how lingering guilt might affect your well-being in the long run. Your idea of relaying an apology through a third party in an unobtrusive way seems like a balanced approach. It acknowledges the need to express your remorse without putting pressure on the other person to respond immediately or engage in a conversation they may not be ready for. However, the mixed signals you're receiving from the other person-avoiding you and then seeking you out, making eye contact but not speaking-make this situation even more challenging. It's understandable that you're confused and unsure how to proceed. If you feel comfortable, perhaps consider observing their behavior a bit longer to see if any patterns emerge or if they initiate any communication. This could provide some insight into their intentions and help you decide on the best course of action. Remember, prioritizing your own well-being is essential too. If the guilt continues to weigh heavily on you despite your efforts, seeking support from a therapist or counselor could be beneficial. They can provide tools and strategies to manage these feelings and develop healthy coping mechanisms. Remember, you're not alone in this, and there are resources available to help you navigate this difficult situation.
That's a significant amount of time to be feeling guilty, @warriorxtman2. While guilt can serve a purpose, it's important to address it if it's impacting your well-being.
I dont think it would be about making amends but more about you exploring what an appropriate level of guilt you should feel. Like when he said how much guilt would expect someone else to feel. You should give yourself time to forgive yourself since the other person cannot. Guilt is about you not making the same mistake twice. I think it is about realizing that now you are a different (better) person.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, @donzajane. You've offered some valuable insights on dealing with guilt, especially when the other person is no longer around. The idea of self-forgiveness in such situations is often a long and complex journey, but an important one. Recognizing that you have grown and changed can be a critical part of that healing process. Your comment adds a meaningful layer to the conversation about coping with feelings of guilt. Thank you for contributing.
The statistic about people spending an average of 5 hours a week feeling guilty comes from research and provides some context for how pervasive feelings of guilt can be in daily life. It might sound like a lot, or perhaps surprisingly low, depending on your own experience. Either way, the point is to highlight that guilt is a common emotional experience, and dedicating time to understanding and managing these feelings can be beneficial. Thank you for bringing up this point, @lahargadon1. Your question gives us a chance to clarify the information presented.
No word can describe how much you helped me with this 2-part videos. Guilt on every little things I’ve done has been eating me alive for many years. Thank you so much for giving me ways and hope to finally move on.
Wow, it's incredibly humbling to hear that these videos have made such a profound impact on your life. Guilt is an incredibly challenging emotion to navigate, and I'm glad that the content could provide you with some guidance and hope. You're not alone, and it's brave of you to take steps toward healing. Thank you for your kind words, and take care.
as a young teenager i made a lot of mistakes and hurt a lot of people mentally and emotionally and i'm still holding onto that years later wondering if it'll ever come back to bite me and its hard to make amends since it was quite a while ago thank you for this video though i'm gonna try my best to just forgive myself today instead of constantly looking for ways to distract myself and obsessing about it
I want to say Thank you. There is not much over the internet about the guilt vs other topics like anxiety.
thank you fo the advices I was in a bad place doing the mistake again and again but instead of apologizing this time I wıll grow and make good I hope it helps
Hi @bruskbukun2927,
It's great to hear that the video resonated with you and that you're taking steps towards positive change. It takes courage to acknowledge past mistakes and even more strength to choose growth and making amends.
Remember, progress is not always linear, and there might be setbacks along the way. Be kind to yourself, and celebrate even the small victories.
I'm rooting for you! Keep moving forward and focusing on building a better future for yourself.
Thanks man so far doing good
Best video on Gilt I've ever seen, however that's there's one thing situation that is missing. How to handle guild when a person has passed away, and you can't even have a conversation with them to apologize for something you have said or in any way you have acted.
I'm glad you found the video valuable, @jenniferpetrellicarslearni2265. Coping with guilt related to someone who has passed away presents unique challenges, as direct reconciliation isn't possible. It's important to remember that healing can still occur. Consider expressing your feelings through writing a letter to them, even if you can't send it, or by honouring their memory in a way that feels meaningful to you. Seeking support from a therapist can also provide space to explore these feelings and find ways to forgive yourself and move forward.
I can't shake the guilt I feel about losing a 16 year old dog that walked into the road. I can't find the "goal of my guilt".
Coping with guilt, especially following the loss of a beloved pet under such circumstances, is deeply challenging. The "goal" of your guilt might be your subconscious mind's way of seeking resolution or making sense of a tragic event. This guilt can stem from feelings of responsibility, regret, or thinking about "what could have been done differently."
To navigate through this, it's essential to acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Understand that accidents happen, and despite our best intentions, we cannot control every outcome. Focusing on the love and care you provided throughout your dog's life can also be a comforting reflection.
Consider speaking about your feelings with someone who understands, whether it's a friend, family member, or professional counsellor. They can offer support and perspective that you might find hard to see right now.
Finding a way to honour your dog's memory can also be a healing step. This could be through creating a small memorial, writing a letter expressing your feelings and memories, or even volunteering at an animal shelter when you feel ready. These actions can help shift the focus from what was lost to the positive impact your dog had on your life.
Remember, healing from guilt is a process, and it's okay to seek help navigating through it.
@@sullivanandassociates❤
What if the guilt is because of real and huge mistakes. What if the judge says you are extremely guilty, there's no way out of it.
Dealing with guilt from significant mistakes is tough, @xenajade6264. Accepting responsibility for your actions is the first step. Try to seek forgiveness from those affected, if possible. It's also crucial to learn from these experiences to avoid repeating the same mistakes. Remember to forgive yourself too. You're human, and everyone makes mistakes. Seeking support from a mental health professional can be beneficial. They can offer tailored guidance and coping strategies. It's not just about the mistakes, but how you respond to them and what you learn from them that really matters.
@@sullivanandassociates Thank you for replying. Learning from the mistakes is useless now as the mistakes were about how I brought up my children and decisions I made when they were young and its too late to change anything now. The regret is killing me. I will seek some counselling. Thanks again.
@@xenajade6264, I'm glad to hear you found the response helpful and are considering counseling. It's never too late to address the pain and regret you're feeling. While you can't change the past, counseling can help you find ways to make peace with it and potentially mend and improve relationships with your children, no matter their age. Remember, seeking help is a brave and positive step towards healing and finding a way to move forward. Your willingness to reflect and take this step is commendable.
Thank you 💚💚
they can accept the apology but not the things you did. It will still go back to the feeling of guilt....it's not that easy that is why Spiritual strength comes in and with the people to help you grow spirituality as well. And what if they don't accept your apology?
@akonato9994, you've touched on a complex aspect of dealing with guilt, especially when apologies aren't accepted. It's true that the path to resolving guilt often isn't straightforward, and spiritual strength, alongside support from others, can be invaluable resources during these times.
When someone doesn't accept your apology, it's important to remember that you can't control others' responses or forgiveness processes. What you can control is your own process of making amends and seeking growth from the experience. In these instances, focusing on what you've learned from the mistake and how it has changed you for the better can be a source of solace and personal development.
Spiritual growth can provide a sense of peace and understanding beyond the immediate situation. Engaging in spiritual practices that resonate with you can offer comfort and guidance. This might include meditation, prayer, attending services, or speaking with a spiritual leader.
Additionally, seeking support from a counselor or therapist can help navigate the feelings of unresolved guilt. They can offer strategies to cope with these feelings constructively and help you move towards self-forgiveness, even when forgiveness from others isn't possible.
Ultimately, growth and healing from guilt are deeply personal processes that involve self-reflection, acceptance, and sometimes, embracing the reality that some things are beyond our control.
@@sullivanandassociates very well said. Good job.
How does one “drop” a feeling? It’s not a box you’re carrying
@mariobertachini6081, you're absolutely right. Dropping a feeling isn't as straightforward as setting down a physical object. It's a lot more complex because emotions are deeply intertwined with our thoughts, experiences, and physiological responses.
The idea of "dropping" a feeling like guilt is more about learning to manage and process the emotion in a healthy way, rather than simply getting rid of it. This can involve understanding why you feel guilty, evaluating the validity of this feeling, and then taking steps to address it-whether that's through self-forgiveness, making amends, or changing behavior.
It's a gradual process and often requires a bit of introspection and sometimes even guidance, whether that's through self-help resources or professional support. It's about finding ways to let the feeling of guilt exist without letting it overwhelm or control you. Think of it more as learning to carry the 'box' more comfortably, rather than just dropping it.
My partner and I have the conversation all the time sorry isn’t good enough! So I need help to improve
It sounds like you're trying to navigate complex emotional territory in your relationship, @Someguynamedbanning. Saying sorry often doesn't feel like enough because actions usually speak louder than words. If apologies aren't cutting it, the next step may be to identify the root cause of the issues that lead to feelings of guilt or the need to apologize. This could involve clear and open communication with your partner to understand each other's needs and expectations. Then, consider taking tangible steps to change behavior or resolve the issue. This can range from setting new boundaries to compromising on a shared problem. Keep in mind that true change is a process that takes time, but showing that you're committed to improvement could go a long way. Always remember to consult with a qualified professional for personalized advice on managing relationship issues.
Can you please share a video on how to overcome the problem of comparison
9:10 I suspect those different ways were the best friend and the rocking chair tests? Your video was valuable to stop me from insisting on apologizing. The other person is confusing. They've avoided me, then they've sought me out, all the while I've been feeling guilty and wanted to apologize to them. I don't know what they want from me, why they didn't want to see me before, why they want to see me now. They aren't talking to me. I've considered seeing a third party for something unrelated, and relay a quick apology to the affected person by the end in a uninstrusive way. I was not given permission, but the person now makes eye contact with me without speaking. I suspect this is the best way to relieve myself from this feeling, but I don't want to bother them either.
I've felt guilty for 9 months over absolutely nothing. All I know is that an "I'm sorry is due", and not being on speaking terms over absolutely nothing is such a waste of time, I can't begin to describe it. I don't know what to do..
So I suspect those two tests were the ways to deal with guilt if permission indeed is not given?
@baxter987, I appreciate your thoughtful comment and am glad the video offered some value in navigating this complex situation. It sounds like you're in a truly frustrating and emotionally draining situation. Feeling guilty for 9 months, especially when you're not even sure what caused the initial rift, is a heavy burden to carry.
It's also commendable that you're prioritizing the other person's comfort and not wanting to bother them, even while you're struggling with your own feelings of guilt. This demonstrates empathy and consideration, which are crucial in navigating any conflict, especially when the other person's motivations are unclear.
The "Best Friend Test" and "Rocking Chair Test" are indeed designed to help you gain perspective when making amends directly isn't possible. They encourage you to consider how you would advise someone you care about in a similar situation, and how lingering guilt might affect your well-being in the long run.
Your idea of relaying an apology through a third party in an unobtrusive way seems like a balanced approach. It acknowledges the need to express your remorse without putting pressure on the other person to respond immediately or engage in a conversation they may not be ready for.
However, the mixed signals you're receiving from the other person-avoiding you and then seeking you out, making eye contact but not speaking-make this situation even more challenging. It's understandable that you're confused and unsure how to proceed.
If you feel comfortable, perhaps consider observing their behavior a bit longer to see if any patterns emerge or if they initiate any communication. This could provide some insight into their intentions and help you decide on the best course of action.
Remember, prioritizing your own well-being is essential too. If the guilt continues to weigh heavily on you despite your efforts, seeking support from a therapist or counselor could be beneficial. They can provide tools and strategies to manage these feelings and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Remember, you're not alone in this, and there are resources available to help you navigate this difficult situation.
What if i want to punish my self or to be punished
I feel guilty 15 hours a week.
That's a significant amount of time to be feeling guilty, @warriorxtman2. While guilt can serve a purpose, it's important to address it if it's impacting your well-being.
What if the person is dead...😭
I dont think it would be about making amends but more about you exploring what an appropriate level of guilt you should feel. Like when he said how much guilt would expect someone else to feel. You should give yourself time to forgive yourself since the other person cannot. Guilt is about you not making the same mistake twice. I think it is about realizing that now you are a different (better) person.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, @donzajane. You've offered some valuable insights on dealing with guilt, especially when the other person is no longer around. The idea of self-forgiveness in such situations is often a long and complex journey, but an important one. Recognizing that you have grown and changed can be a critical part of that healing process. Your comment adds a meaningful layer to the conversation about coping with feelings of guilt. Thank you for contributing.
5hours a week for an average person?!
The statistic about people spending an average of 5 hours a week feeling guilty comes from research and provides some context for how pervasive feelings of guilt can be in daily life. It might sound like a lot, or perhaps surprisingly low, depending on your own experience. Either way, the point is to highlight that guilt is a common emotional experience, and dedicating time to understanding and managing these feelings can be beneficial. Thank you for bringing up this point, @lahargadon1. Your question gives us a chance to clarify the information presented.