COMING TO TERMS WITH THE MESS I MADE OF MY LIFE WHILE DRINKING (Morning Reflections)
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ก.ค. 2024
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I Noah Thomas, the creator of this channel, have been diagnosed hypogonadism by a medical doctor and legally prescribed the medically indicated treatment of Testosterone Replacement Therapy.
My Story
My name is Noah and on May 18 2011, I had a rare reaction to a medication called VIVITROL and consequently, spiraled into a suicidal depression with depersonalization and anxiety. I lost 25 lbs in 4 weeks and was in full panic or near panic for 8 weeks straight mixed with the darkest most painful depression I cold have ever imagined. I immediately could not work and had to move in with my parents who, along with many siblings and friends, had to watch me 24/7 as I was a danger to myself. Eventually I was hospitalized in the Psych Ward for a week. Getting through each day seemed truly unbearable and I knew I would surely die. I have been put on many many different doctor prescribed SSRI's SNRI's Tricyclics, mood stabilizers, anti-psychotics, holistic meds, acupuncture and even a form of shock therapy called RTMS. I barely saw any improvement in my condition for a full year. It was decided I had treatment resistant depression and I spent nearly every moment in tears. Weeks after starting my newest round of medications (Seroquel & Nortryptaline) as a last ditch effort, I had my blood drawn for possible hormone imbalances and my Testosterone levels came back 200 ng/Dl and 150 ng/Dl. The average 25 year old male has 750 ng/Dl. With this discovery I had an explanation as to why I was not getting better and why I might be so so sick. The symptoms of Low T are very similar to those of major depression. I started legally prescribed testosterone replacement therapy soon after and have been checking in with the world and documenting my experience with treatment as well as giving my insight and perspective on various topics of mental health. I am blessed to say that I have slowly, over the last 6 years, been improving and becoming more stable which I never thought to be possible. My low T manifested itself in the form of Major depression, anxiety, and depersonalization/ derealization for over a year. Treating my low testosterone has been 1 HUGE part of the puzzle but I have had to continue to work hard to hold on to my mental stability with many set backs. Gaining some mental stability back is nothing short of a miracle as I was near death for what felt like forever. I do not consider myself to be totally healed yet but I am closer now then ever before and aim to use what I have been through to help or at least offer support to others in need I was able to successfully come off my Seroquel and Pamelor.
I work out all the time as a part of my mental health recovery!!! Weight training and all kinds of cardio rule much of my free time and I also share this on my channel.
Noah Thomas (bignoknow) is an affiliate of LetsGetChecked
I am about to hit rock bottom. I pray it does not take a tragedy to realize I need to stop drinking. Please pray for me. I can’t keep it going like this forever. I feel like I’m dying! Thank u for sharing as always Noah. I can’t wait to hear more about ho it has affected Jessie. I continue to pray for u both.
Marjorie Randolph you ate right where I was merely 10 days ago and right where I will be tomorrow if I were to drink tonight. I know it hurts. Reading your words is like reading my own thought day in and day out for what seems like forever. You can choose your bottom. You can walk into a 12 step meek g right now and find safety. I believe in you and will say a prayer for you.
Marjorie Randolph how is it going now, Marjorie?
I realize it's quite off topic but does anyone know a good place to watch new tv shows online ?
@Terrell Ronin i watch on Flixzone. You can find it on google :)
@Emerson Konnor yea, have been watching on FlixZone for since april myself :D
Noah, I’ve “known” you for almost 11 years as your dad has been our kids pediatrician since our son was born in 2007. That being said, I admire your strength to share your struggle with addiction (among other things). I have been 16 days sober since running into some health issues. I am still dealing with my health, but being able to do it with the clarity of being sober is a blessing. I wasn’t drinking daily, but was drinking enough for 16 days of sobriety to feel like an accomplishment no matter what the reason. And, once we figure out what else is going on with my health I don’t really think I would see a reason to go back to alcohol. So, I look forward to kind of joining you on your journey.
Noah, things may appear to be a "mess". The reality is you can make HUGE changes in a very short period of time. The biggest trap you can fall into is turning a situation into something that feels almost impossible to overcome. It's not. Often times the biggest obstacles are in our own heads. You can achieve anything!
Can I ask that people who view noahs videos give some of the comments a thumbs up ? It will help me stop feeling so alone. It might help you too.
Hell YES! Three videos, three days. Couldn't be more excited! Lovin life right now, and these videos are the cherry on my sundae!
Edit - you said to share our stories, here's a summary of mine. At 20 i was hooked on coke and drinking vodka heavily when the coke ran out. By 21 it became crack, and the vodka intake increased to a liter per day. Then at 22 i tried heroin and fell in love. It eventually replaced the vodka to "come down" when the crack was gone. But by 23 I was doing all three, crack, heroin, and vodka. About 5 years later, a short jail-stay made me quit for the month i was locked up. When i got out, i went right back to the heroin and vodka. I did manage to never smoke rocks again tho, so I've got about 10yrs crack-free. Then at about 30yrs old, i learned how to "cook" meth. So, at this point I'm stuck on heroin, vodka, and meth. I made the meth to sell for heroin, but i also indulged to the fullest. Sometime in my mid-thirties (it's all a blur so i can't remember exact age) I exchanged the vodka for xanax. So then i was daily using heroin, meth, and benzos. I also had 2 possession charges for heroin, and a couple receiving stolen property charges, so eventually i did almost a year locked up and Saint Louis City drug court. I scraped together close to 2 years sober when heroin seduced me back. I overdosed badly, but lived and kept using. I used for a couple more years, until one morning, after i was awake for 5 days, i was going to get some more heroin and from the xanax setting in and the meth wearing off, i fell asleep at the wheel on the highway. I thank God I did NOT injure or kill another person. Apparently when i did, my foot sunk the accelerator (witness statements) and i hit a concrete barricade which flipped the car. I was ejected (out the driver's side window not wearing a seatbelt) and hit a tree, head first. That scalped me, broke my neck at C2 and C4, broke my lower back, 14 ribs, both legs, punctured a lung and spleen, swelled my brain with blood on it, and caused a pseudoanurism in my left carotid artery. I was in a coma for 2 weeks and in the hospital for 3 months. It was "my bottom". I've been clean ever since, but I'm on TRT now cuz my body quit producing T after the wreck and i felt so tired and shitty. I'm blessed that i lived and wasn't paralized. Other than daily minor aches and pains, my only issues are limited head motion and the low testosterone. Very lucky. So that's my story at 38yrs old now, really quickly summed up, minus small details like prostitution and meth explosions. Got almost 2yrs clean from heroin, meth, and benzos and almost a year from alcohol.
It's interesting Noah. I sit here and listen to you tell your story sort of and think "wow this is what this guy calls rock bottom?" Because my situation is so different and worse on many levels, but I had to check myself and remember that even a small thing to me could be a Huge thing to another addict ! We all deal with pain differently. I'm a late stages alcoholic (now sober a week) to a T. Everything you describe to me was my early problem drinking years before it even crossed into alcoholism. So it makes me happy you're getting it together NOW before it gets to where I got to(countless detox stays, treatments, jails, dozens of hospital visits, severe alcohol withdrawals, the shakes, hallucinations, seizures, etc.). So I'm proud of you bro please keep it up ! By the way, I prob talk like I'm 60 with decades of alcohol abuse and alcoholism, but I'm only 24😂😂😂😂😊 that's how complex and individual this disease is! It took just 6 years for me to go from problem drinking to late stages alcoholism, where as others it can take decades and others may not even reach alcoholism. It's just so complex and where you're at, I'm glad you're putting your foot down before you crash into the horrors of true dependency! Sorry I'm rambling! Keep it up !
Noah I'm so proud of you. I remember when you decided to start drinking again and how worried I was for you and your family. So glad you finally saw the light and that you are making the steps to start a better life.
You are on the right track brother! After a couple years of letting family and friends down with my lies, then apologies the next day, I came to realize my words didn't mean much when I finally began my recovery. I finally understood why amends was at step 9 (I was trying to make it step 1- lol!. I had to "fix" myself before I tried fixing my relationships. Around my year anniversary, my sisters told me that my amends was in the way I was living out my life. While I apologized and let them know that I knew my wrong doings, they told me, just keep doing what your doing, that was meant more to them then any apology.
Today I am the fun loving, favorite uncle to their kids- and yes, I sit with them at the kids table -I'm cool like that! :-) Keep working it brother!
I'm 1 year sober today. Heroin and booze with a smattering of coke. Super proud of you homie. You've been an inspiration - using or not.
I’m on day 6 being sober. It’s tough but we can do it. Let’s keep it moving and conquer this demon.
So glad to hear your reflections. I checked out when you had been sober and then started saying how you could drink again. No blame just reality where I was at. Props to you!! Love your honesty.
I’m still amazed I didn’t kill my self over n over n I just absolutely couldn’t see how my addictions were hurting n upsetting family n others n got extremely annoyed when they tried to help stop 🛑 my active addictions , but when I’d totally had enough of my drug n alcohol addictions n got clean 16
Months ago, it finally hit me the over powering guilt the remorse n I finally understood the damage n what I’d done to myself n family n everyone, I went out off my way to apologise, n apologies really help free the guilt, but they told me that seeing me sober n free , was all the apology they needed, n means 100 % more then the word sorry 😐
Greetings from Germaany Noah. I am addicted to Benzos and also in the way of recovery. I wish you all best and success and we always have to keep in mind that this fight against addiction will come to an end and we will have a completely new life.
It can be eye opening. So many people abuse their bodies without thought. Health is a gift. One that should be cherished. Wishing you the best journey Noah, one day at a time.
My brother is an alcoholic/addict. He is in a space where he is in that space where he doesn't see how it is affecting his family. I do my al-anon. Hearing your story today helps me understand my brother more. xoxo
Noah , You encourage me! SO much of what you say connects with me. The sleeping till 11 or 12 even. The pooping thing! Thank god we had a washer and dryer at my place of employment on many occasions. Since my recovery I as well getting out of bed and making a 7 a.m. meeting or enjoying the sun come up! Life is good, sooo much better now! I know you struggle and so do I! One day at a time brother!
Steady as she goes. By the way, I am not anti drinking in general AT ALL. If I could drink moderately and safely I would lol. I have spent my entire adult life proving I can't and that's ok. It's a tremendous opportunity for every addict alcoholic to waive the white flag and see what recovery has in store, not a sacrifice. If you have a healthy relationship with alcohol more power to ya!
Going to be honest, you may need to REPLACE the alcohol with something like weed. Just saying, it works for some.
More poop videos! Can never have enough of those. Looking good Noah
M Taylor I want sobriety and recovery from addiction, not a replacement drug. Nothing but love and respect to weed smokers, I know and love many, but it’s not going to be my solution. Also,... I hate the feeling of being high lol.
Good for you. I admire your efforts to find complete sobriety.
noah I hope you hang in there bud and I hope you can read this I can relate to your struggle 100% but all you can do is focus on the next right thing to and looking after yourself.. don't dwell on the past every one has one your a human being so be gentle on yourself and keep it simple
To be honest this year has been my year full of reflection and how can I change my life.... I really get overwhelmed ,till I had to journal down every thing... Even the little ideas that pop up in my head... You can imagine... It is really tiring alot because each and every single day you experience different kinds of emotions and psychological thoughts... especially the negative ones
Hi Noah, I'm in early sobriety from multiple years hard drinking, and it's videos like these that help me process and progress. No one wants to talk about diarrhea, but your experience is something I had as well. Never made the connection between heavy drinking and loose guts before, but my experience now that I'm in early sobriety is that it's true for me.
One thing I was totally blindsided by is how bad I felt physically for the first week after stopping the binge drinking. I've gotten very familiar with the daily hangovers, but this was something different. It was almost like a cumulative hangover from stopping after all the months and years of constant drinking.
I found a way to taper off the drinking (it was SUPER hard to find a way to have a drink in the evening without getting blammo'd), then turned to drinking unlimited pots of herbal tea after work any time I felt my body jonesing for booze. This is my first week where I didn't need to distract myself that way, and I feel hopeful.
Drinking has kept me from my true passions, and early sobriety has me engaging with my inner demons on the artist's canvas rather than trying to drown them in a wine glass.
Can’t tell you how much this resonated with me. More shall be revealed for us both. I’m awake now and I don’t want to go back to sleep.
You are doing so well. This is my second attempt at being sober and Ive just completed a year without Drink. The content of this video is full of positivity and you look great. Well done you are a true inspiration. In the real low points of my depressive episode I watch your channel and it lifts my mood. I live in hope that I will be well soon. Keep up this fantastic work you are helping us all and once again as some one that has experienced what you are going through You are doing so so well.
Terry Garrard congrats!!!
Your brain is still healing from the benzodiazepine poisoning, as is mine. Iatrogenic injury from prescribed benzodiazepines can take years to heal and alcohol is definitely something to stay away from after benzo. One day at a time. Thanks so much for your videos Noah. I always appreciate your transparency and honesty! Blessings! :)
I’m so proud of you, you’ve inspired me to get help for my depersonalisation and to fix my mental state! You’ve done so much for me and I just wanna say thanks :)
Hi Noah! That's why I love your content.. It's not perfect, it's raw. I quit smoking 3 days ago.. I've been smoking since 12, now I'm 29. Although smoking doesn't seem as dangerous going through it is hard AF. I've been so busy in my thoughts I've even been late uploading on TH-cam but this makes a lot sense to me. I've Counqured other issues, but this one was (is) the hardest. One moment at a time 😊
FIBRO MOM that’s amazing and smoking is very dangerous and arguably the hardest to quit. I know many people who have been trying for years. It’s a battle I’m not personally close to but fully respect. Be brave and take it one day at a time. Your life depends on it.
bignoknow thank you, so much! 🚫🚬 < me 😉😊
I quit January and have succeeded to stay away from alcohol. Feeling great. Good luck
Congrats on 10 days man! You said some real shit, and I’ve actually been meaning to do a video on my channel about the pink cloud. Working with tons of addicts and alcoholics, the pink cloud can be a dangerous when people set their expectations that it’s going to last that way forever.
It sounds like you’re back in a 12-step program from some of the lingo that you’re using. I hope you are because talking about your journey on camera can be helpful, but it’s important to get the support of the people from the rooms.
Also, I have an awesome video idea for you. You reacting to your older videos of you justifying and rationalizing your drinking. I don’t mean that in a shitty way either.
I think it’ll help you develop even more self-awareness of when the disease creeps back into your head saying you can drink normally now. In my sobriety, it’s so important that I retell the stories about how I lied to myself and that’s what led me back to the first drink/Drug again.
Anyways, I’m still here if you ever need to chat recovery.
Noah, welcome to the world again, and the ability to live life with a purpose, for yourself and the serving of others, through clear eyes! I believe the prayers that have been offered to God on your behalf, by me and others on this channel, are working. God bless! - Patrick
I’m not a recovering addict but I do have OCD. There are a lot of parallels between your experience and mine. Sometimes I get sucked into this void of absolute fear and the most horrible scenarios :( it hurts but when I come out I feel so pained that I let myself be sucked into what I know to be ridiculous thoughts- but they’re scary in those moments and I wish they weren’t. I don’t know what to do with myself actually. I want to get better but I don’t really know how, and if anything could help. It’s not self-pity but an actual loss of direction. I don’t know what to do next and it’s frightening not knowing if you can live with yourself or how to heal yourself so that you can.
Anyways I just wrote this to get it off my chest, because I don’t know what I’m doing at all. I do admire and respect your courage and I hope I can find my own to help me heal, and most of all, to be kind to myself.
Take care :)
This is so relatable. Awesome work with your sobriety so far. It's tough to pick up everything and start a sober life. Love your vids.
Yes, you are raw and honest! Love it. Happy for you!
I am 2 minutes in and I already know you are sincere. Thank you for sharing your story
You are saying so many things I can relate too. I have never heard someone else say these things and I am at work listening and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Thanks
Love to u and your wife, it takes a strong women/man to love someone through addiction, depression, and anxiety. My husband gave me tuff love but he held my hand through it all. Just think it took more then 1 week to get your life in this mess, so don’t expect to be able to clean it up in a week either.
Thank you so much for sharing, you are such an inspiration to me, been watching for years now and I’m so happy to have stumbled upon you. I’ve been sober for 4 months and a lot of the drive comes from watching others like yourself who have been in the same place. Can’t wait for the video about Jessie, as I’m sure will shine some light and also be comforting for myself and my man to watch together. You are so right about how hard it is for the spouse, and when we’re in that head space we just don’t notice. Thanks again Noah! Much love!
Thanks for your openness Noah. I've just given up nearly 4 years of sobriety and am back to one day at a time. A few days, then a binge, a few days then a binge. I know it gets better but I've just lost that serenity and inner peace that I once had. I just wish I could fast forward a few months because I know this program works. I just can't get my head out of my ass right now. Please God take this from me
I have really been enjoying and getting a lot of value out of your channel lately, even though I myself am not a drinker. It just helps to know someone else is in the shit with you sometimes, no matter what that shit is. 10 days sober is a huge accomplishment! Keep up the good work Noah. How wonderful to see you feeling so grateful and hopeful after such a dark period. Your ride or die subscribers are rooting for you.
I’m so glad you’re doing better, Noah! I’m struggling, at the moment, but seeing you do it, opening up, being honest, makes me know I can do it too! Thank you, Noah 😀
Welcome back to the world! ;)Praying for you, your wife and family.
Good work dude! I'm trying to get sober myself. I like the fact that you're putting out more content. I get a dopamine rush when I get a alert from you! You're pushing me to get sober because if you can do it I can do it! Keep up the good work bud you're a inspiration :)
I have been trying to come to terms with the mess I made while being an opiate addict for 12years. I am now 3 and a half years clean cold turkey at the age of 44 and feel like a FUCKING loser for all the money I wasted. I never hurt anyone else in my addiction only myself being single with no children. I just can't seem to get over the fact that I made this mistake and punish myself daily making my anxiety and depression mixed with worthlessness go through the roof making feel really suicidal and not being able to cope. I wish I was born normal with a good upbringing I hope I can find a way to make it through life. Hope everyone out there struggling finds their way Home.
Thank you for sharing this, and keep loving yourself and healing. You are a great inspiration
My friend Noah you have motivated me to stop drinking, I have been drinking heavy for 2 years now. I know not as long as you but it still taking a lot out of me, and your videos have really as of late recently I felt really connected to them. I want to say my last day of drinking is today thank you my fellow brother! 🙂
So grateful for this video. I consider myself a recovered alcoholic which is highly stigmatized when you’re in your twenties. It really stuck with me the point you said about how you only think it affects yourself. However, when the mist begins to lift you realize that it really can consume who we are closest to also. Appreciate this video sending you all the good vibes in the world. (I also make mental health videos on TH-cam you’re one of my biggest influences in starting the channel) x
some of the realest, most engaging content i've seen on your channel. great job noah. i believe in you.
I respect your transparency so much
Much love man! ❤️
Noah, great work on this video, your accomplishments so far, and your plan of knowing what you need to do and formulating a plan of attack to do it all. The road may be long and difficult that lies ahead. You seem VERY able to grasp what needs to be done, the ways to do it, but also the time it will take, and how to work within that. I wish you well as you do all that's needed. I've no doubt that in time you will make the amends needed to enrich the relationships between you and those around you. Even at thirty-one, remember to nurture that child inside you who may have been hurt and/or afraid as you grow through all of this. You are loved, lovable, and worth the effort and any and all time this may take. Take it all in steps and small chunks as you go. It's all worth the time and effort, as are you and those around you.....
Download free the 12 & 12 and the Big Book. Don’t ruminate over the past. You can wait until Step 4 and forgive yourself. Save all these things for AA. and Step 4
I've been in your shoes unti!l i got i close to death so i knew I had to stop but then I started to look for other ways to cope i was on the wagon for 1year and a half but now I only allow my self 2 pints a week which ever day I think I Need it the most Lois
True I been down that same road. Be strong and live the life
Love the video, love how you keep it real. Addiction is a scary ass thing and not many people know how to deal with it. Being an alcoholic is like having a full time job and it keeps you from living life honestly. Foggy is correct and the people you hurt even though you dont intentionally want to is a SOAB. I just started watching your videos about a month ago while searching for self help, never been to an AA meeting before although I want too. My mom is a recovering alcoholic who suffers from chronic depression now and my father is a drug addict who has been in and out of prison and haven’t seen since I was like 5. Where I’m gng with this...you give me hope. Broken is what we are but ur living proof that things can get better. I will be brave one day, hopefully sooner than later. I have a beautiful 13 year old daughter a handsome 11 year old son and an 8 month old baby girl who needs me...I’m stuck in a rut. Thank u so much for the videos. You give me hope Noah.
Laura Charles 💪 💪 you got this
Laura Charles I feel for you, my Dad was an alcoholic in fact him driving drunk was normal. Drinking never seemed like a big deal to me until every time I did it I was not having a good time but at the same time I was improving my thinking so when rock bottom hit I was ready to chane for good.
I think when we start sobering up, we start realizing all the damage we have done and get an overwhelming desire to fix it all as soon as possible. It cannot be done overnight. Apologizing to everybody is not usually sufficient. Many have heard it all before. Actions speak louder than words. When those around you see the positive changes in you they will know you are seriously taking your life back. It is not my business and I mean no offense by saying this. You said your wife was going to stand by you through your struggles 100 percent in a previous video. I totally believe she will and that you both love each other very much. I think sometimes she hid her feelings about your drinking and other times you just didn't see them. Best wishes and prayers for you and sobriety and life.I love the honesty and no bullshit in your videos. Congrats on 10 days.
Your going to come out on top. You got this bro
Hey Noah--Thank you for this video. I am thinking of you and your whole family. Sending love.
Thanks Jennifer. Sending love and light to your family too.
Thank you man
Cheers everyone! bottoms up. Drunk as fuck
Thank you for all of your honesty. We both came to the realization that we wanted to become sober (AGAIN!!!) around the same time. You are helping to keep me motivated so I just wanted to say I appreciate it. Now that I have gained some clarity I realize how much time I've lost and how destructive my behavior was. I did things while drinking that make me absolutely cringe. I'm trying not to focus on that but moving forward. I'm not happy in my career or personal life either...still havent gotten my masters. :( I understand wanting to fix everything immediately but I know in actuality that it will take time. Keep it up!!! I'll be keeping you in my thoughts. 😊♥️♥️♥️
Congratulations on your 10th day! I will be praying for you Noah..
Thank you for your videos
Great video mate😊
Your story is a lot like mine. Relapse is a bitch but it's part of the process. 20 yrs of drinking,drugging for me with 1 years sober only to relapse for a year n a half. Sober for 4 months now on borrowed time for me. Keep on keeping on bro. Peace and god bless.
Dont get ahead of your progress. Dont get used to feeling normal right away. Keep this as a reminder: Life is long. Drinking will pounce again. Keep up the fight noah.
Just don’t make promises to yourself that you will be happy if you don’t drink anymore. You have to do it because it’s the right thing to do and not contingent on self-made promises to yourself. Reality while sober is painful and hard to deal with, accept it. Good luck. You have beat it before.
Be happy she stayed with you
Hang in there. It's a heavy burden, but we are counting on you to keep up your path to sobriety . . . for all of us following!
Another wonderful and honest reflection. I appreciate your candor. Know that I am - we are - with you every step of the way. The one thing I will take away from your journey so far? 'it's really nice to have normal poop.' Amen, brother. Amen. Much love to you, your family and friends. x
I'm very happy to hear that you are sober now Noah. I was a heavy drinker (5 years 4 months sober), at certain point i thought "ok, this is who i am, i suffer from stomach and digestive issues." Then after many years, i quit drinking and then suddenly my stomach is working almost perfectly all the time, so yes, alcoholism destroys your digestive system in many different and pretty nasty ways, and it's a common cancer trigger or what ever it is called lol, english is not my first languaje as you can see ._. Keep sober bro, congratulations.
Hi Noah, I've been following you for years and your videos has really help me in my worst days!
I would like to advise you to focus on healing your body, cleaning your liver with herbs (Milk Thistle), having a better gut microbiome (probiotics, fermented foods etc), adding B-complex, checking your vitamin D level and adding sole water into your life! Mental illness is linked to defficiency and inflammation! My life has never been this good before adding Magnesium+b6, and minerals into my life!
It's not only in your head, it's your body messing up with your sanity!
Please try! Watch some Tedx Talkt about the link between the gut and the brain, do some research, please! But don't fight this alone, add supplements to help your recovery! Please!
just keep going and get some time under your belt and heal your mind.
Im sorry I binge drink on my own away from my family they have no idea what is going on and I can't tell them
I love your videos I can relate to them quite a lot
Congratulations
Hi Noah. I'm relating to this. I'm not an alcoholic... But I lost my husband last month and I want to drink. I don't drink at home, I feel the urge to just go somewhere. It's a dark secretive side I don't want to be in. It's difficult to function without it sometimes.
Hey noah im so glad that your getting better and defeating your addiction one day at a time, ive also been worried about my binge drinking but i always ask myself, if I actually do have a problem before i had anxiety i never thought i was drinking so much but ever since now I always over think and start to think i can easily become addicted i was drinking every weeknd and sometimes once during the week so i started to see i was craving it because usually ill drink every other week so now im on a new plan to stop drinking and get as healthy as i can cause the drinking really drains my energy to work out, anyways my question is when do you know when to stop or know if you have a problem with drinking i told my therapist how I drink and said she doesnt think i have a problem with drinking but i feel like if u need more then you use to isnt that becoming something addictive like coffee?
Hey brother im here with ya just a few days behind you but we can do this!
Hi Noah. I've been recently clinically diagnosed with mild depression with anxiety. Also, I have hepatitis B and because I am anxious that I might have acquired HIV from someone, I am now on PEP. All these things considered, I am feeling really low and hopeless. Though I'm trying to stay strong, sometimes negative thoughts just overwhelm me. It's like I'd prefer not to exist anymore. I just don't know what to do now.
My mother is an acholic and i watch yur videos to learn more about this desease. Its easy for me to critizie her but now that im more educated on this topic I don't.
appreciate your honesty and your realness bro. big fan of your channel! i can relate cuz I'm a 2 time cancer survivor who lost half his face due to amputation and decided to start my own channel to inspire others who feel ugly or not good enough for this world..I moved to Barcelona to build a new life. I want to show others that it's all about positivity and energy.. and that with the right mindset, you can overcome any mental or physical hurdle if u just learn to love yourself! I'm like a mix between Christian Guzzman and Frankenstein. go check me out and subscribe if u want to help me reach my goals.. it would mean the world to me.!!
BigBoiBenzo cool! You moved to my city! What made you come here?
And was it a skin melanoma?
BigBoiBenzo just checked out your channel and love what you are doing and stand for. Subbed.
xBaphometHx bro lets get a beer some time!! i moved here cuz of a master and fell in love. it was a cyst turning into a tumor and bone cancer.. appreciate that a lot man.
BigBoiBenzo great. You are so strong for not crumbling down and be constant in order to heal yourself. I would be so scared if I were diagnosed of a cancer.
I will check your channel!
BigBoiBenzo - Damn dude! Big props to you and your motivation to help others, even after the "shit-hand" you got dealt by life. Checked out your channel, liked what i saw, subscribbed!
I have a question... HOW do you deal with your friends and family who, even after stopping drinking, still peg your actions as "not making any progress, still covering it up" mindset? I go back to drinking because getting "the shakes" when stopping, but it's from something else (muscle/tendon issues) and I feel like "why try to stop??"...?
Many many people are alcoholics and they don't even know it, and a lot of people think that if they "feel" like they must drink every weekend it's ok, it's totally normal to have a couple of drinks every weekend, well, no it's not normal, this is how we all started.
Hi, Im working out alot and I started taking Probolan 50, do you think its good?, One more thing will the testosterone make me lose hair? Love u vidoes!
Hi Noah, have you tried AA? Try not to get overwhelmed, remember baby steps.
From Tx
Best wishes 👍
❤
Noah, I have a question. If you're not comfortable answering I understand. Can you quantify how much you drank a day and how many days a week you drank? Just want to have some sort of gage about the intensity of your problem. Good luck in your journey.
Try Triphala for gut health and that gastritis. It helped to heal mine!
I remember you posting a video talking about how you started drinking casually again and it made me so sad because I knew you were going to spiral down like so many others do.
I need help I'm not ok I need help I can't take it anymore I need help
Dont forget your spirit. Get right with God and give it to him. It will meet that authority aspect. Sometime you got to cry out to God and repent and ask for help. By the way my Dad was an alcoholic and he died from an overdose.
I need help my daughter my family deserted me I have Tbi traumatic brain injury severe from a accident I can't take it anymore I'm not ok I need help
normal poop is soooo undervalued these days
Yeah. I was wondering what mess you made among your wife and relatives. I heard your words and all but really, if it was me, I wouldn’t have been as patient or rather tolerant of your behavior.
How does your wife continue to live with the chaos you made in your life and hers., I dated an alcoholic for about a year and when he went on a weekend bender and slept with someone else, I ended the relationship. I could see a pattern of behavior and self delusion and knew trusting him would never be able to be achieved.
You apparently picked someone who will put up with a great deal just to be with you, how does she cope, it seem to only see one side of this story. She will be ever changed by the cyclic nature of your drinking and sobriety. It's a roller coaster ride that she cannot get off, it does still seem it's all about you, and what it feels to you, means to you, how it affects you etc. etc.
I hope she also is in therapy, because she really needs to be, learning to cope with abusive relationships and taking care of herself is needed so she can heal.
I don't know how or it should be why Noahs wife is still there, too many times just the one drunken binge, the one drunken comment or unfaithfulness and that relationship is over.
Had so much hope with a woman I had know for 30 years on and off, got too drunk and fuckd up that. So now, I'm in a foreign country, unemployed, living out of my 13 year old car, scared, confused, alone, my car is dying, fuckd radiator.
Thanks for posting mate.
Can we talk some time. Thanks.
please make other content! you can't continue to make your channel only about your addiction, it'll only bring it back into the present