It's - sadly - a huge relief to hear that you, as a therapist with so much knowledge and experience, had a very difficult time finding the right therapist as well. I live in Turkiye, a prominently Muslim country with certain cultural expectations - none I have in my own life which makes finding the right open-minded therapist very very difficult. Finances play a huge role as well, so until I find the right human therapist, I'll have to do with my many feline therapists here in Istanbul. They do demand a fee - cuddles and some food, but hey, it makes me happy, it makes them happy so win win for all. Thanks for this very honest video!
Feline therapist who requires some cuddles and food 😂 haha, so cute. That is probably their main role - but yes their therapy is not free, just cheaper than usual.. 😁
I did EMDR, and I was really surprised by how well it worked. I didn't realize certain memories were still affecting me so much, and since we went through them, I feel a bump in my self-esteem and less anxiety.
I have also done EMDR. Amazing. It really helped me tap into the emotions surrounding traumatic memories that i was repressing most of the time and let go of a lot of the pain. I would get caught off guard replaying these scenarios in my head, get stuck, reliving/feeling those painful times as if they were happening that moment. It helped me place those experiences in the past so i could move forward and be present in my life. I highly recommend it to anyone working through trauma. Work with a specialist though. A good EMDR therapist will be careful to gradually work your way up to what you can handle. It takes time. It is transformative when done right in my experience.
I love how raw you are. Because of this, you are a role model for so many. I have noticed you were not looking yourself in your videos but was too scared to say so. All the best!
I’m a recovering perfectionist and my therapist talks about working towards “all or something” thinking instead of “all or nothing” and that has become a really helpful mantra for me. I’ve also been really working on making space in my emotional container and learning better emotional regulation, because growing up my parents didn’t (and still don’t) deal with stress or negative feelings well. I think practicing self-love and self-care, even in the form of just carving out time to do things that bring you joy or peace, has made a HUGE difference. It’s allowed me to have a lot more patience and to deal with adversity and stress a little more easily. Good luck with your new therapist ❤
As someone who works in the field of addiction and mental health. Anyone working in the helping profession should be required to be in therapy regardless how well they are (or not). I admire you for getting the help you need to take care of you first. This makes you a better therapist. I had colleagues who thought they were above this and many burnt out, lacked professional boundaries and were extremely inappropriate, worse was when they lacked compassion with the patients they were helping or committed suicide. When I was in nursing many years ago my professors always told us to go to therapy to have an appropriate avenue to vent grievances in addition to keeping yourself in "check" in case you were heading towards a burn out. It is a very stressful profession that requires you to care for the sick and needy. I honestly can say if I hadn't listened to what I was recommended to do, I don't think I would have lasted long in this profession especially with the personal things I dealt with prior that came up. I was a military combat trauma nurse way before becoming a psychiatric nurse. To me being deployed to three war zones I thought was easier to work in than being a psychiatric nurse. Physical trauma is less taxing to work with than mental trauma. Some of the **** my psych patients went through, I don't blame them becoming addicted to substances. You had an ACES score of 1. Many of my patients had a full on 10. At times I thought I was jaded but my therapist told me I was more desensitised.
Thank you for saying this. I’m an early childhood teacher and have been interested in finding my own therapist for years- I need to be held accountable like Kati too. Gonna make it a priority. I need to do the work and take action and not just sit around waiting. It’s hard but I will take that first step
never done this before...from Oregon, left narcissist husband after 44+ years in late 2021 when the emotional abuse segued into physical...you're real, you tell it like it is and reminded me that I own the Artist's way, never cracked it, but you have inspired me to do just that. Even though it took time for me to understand, it is never too late to make your life better. Safety has given me wings, and you are a part of my healing.
@Ramón Rodriguez yessss! I absolutely hate that word in this type of context. It makes people feel more disenfranchised when they're already feeling crappy.
Yeah I've felt it was gaslighting for a long time. Can we just stop comparing and realize you don't know what someone else has been through because you aren't them and just be kind without needing these extras?
@@JoseRRodriguez Sorry but facing issues in a stable environment is plainly less difficult than doing it in an unstable one with unstable people. This is the real world.
You are so genuine! I'm currently not seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist because of insurance and cost. I have been journaling now because of you! Most helpful thing that pulls me from being a rolled up depression burrito in my bed is looking around and appreciating the small things that I have. Motivation is still very hard and I beat myself up for being lazy and not going. The journaling is helping me forgive myself more. A new thing I learned that I need to do. Thank you so much for your videos! I appreciate you!
Thank you for sharing your experiences with therapy and self care. I watched your videos and have found a lot of great videos you have posted. Keep doing your thing!
I’m a big fan of Julia Cameron . Haven’t opened one 9f her books lately but am inspired now to review The Artist’s Way. Watching you has given me a lot 9f insights about my childhood so many thanks, by the way I’m 83 so it was a long time ago. I guess it’s never too late to address such issues. I am amazed at how brave, open, and vulnerable you are willing to be. Clearly I see you are dealing with sadness and my thoughts of support go out to you. I do some writing on creativity and have a technique which I call Chip, chip, chip. Taking small steps everyday towards your goal and acknowledging yourself for daily progress on a checklist. You make a difference! Thank you .
Thank you for sharing this!!! I can relate to so much! As someone who also works from home it is so hard to meet people and make friends. I am an older millenial, widowed, with no kids and find it SO hard to meet people who I click with. Been in therapy for almost a decade and one of my goals this year is to really put effort into making new friends. It's SO hard. Hearing this from you is SO encouraging! Thanks for ALL you do but more importantly WHO you are!
Glad you've found a good therapist. Yes, it's hard finding someone who is a good fit, and someone who isn't going to move onto another job. After many years, I found a therapist who is a trauma specialist, and yes, she swears (cusses) too. She has her own practice, and made it clear to me that she isn't going anywhere.
I don’t usually have time to come on here and check out your videos but I’ve been following you for years and appreciate you so much. You’re a great example of being Non- judge mental, and vulnerable, kind, compassionate. I look up to you so much as a counselor in training
I am so proud of you. Your incredible ability to be transparent with informed insight to establishing boundaries is so inspiring. I can see improvement in my life, but I am not anywhere near where I want to be. However, I am 1. Excercising 2. Writing 3. Praying 4. Trying to Improve There is a lot that I would like to change about my circumstances. However, these days, I am just grateful for the little bit of growth I do make, and whatever measure of consistency I demonstrate in achieving it. Some days it feels like it will take forever, but I have resolved that even if it does, I would rather die trying than not try at all.
I believe it’s the journey, the experience we receive during the journey. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves, not why, but what is the lesson I need to learn. Perhaps you’re going through this part of your journey because you are helping others and the only way to fully understand is to go through it. You are stronger than you think. Stay focused on you and the rest will fall in place. Take the actions you need to heal and grow. Someone is watching your progress, be it 25% or 90%, they’re seeing your growth. They’re telling themselves, if she can do it, then so can I! Keep up your message. You are helping more than you know. 🤗
I so appreciate your authenticity! I show your videos to my psych classes and they love you, too. Also, what you says resonates. I moved to a new place two years ago and feel like I’ve just been trying to ‘survive’ here, too.
Thank you for your honesty and sharing about your struggle finding a therapist and the joy in returning to your yoga studio. Twib things I need to work on: (1) not dwelling in the negative. (2) believing I'm capable of running an Emergency Action Plan at my school. I feel like I'm too stupid or convoluted to make it happen, that I'll look like an idiot and my imposter syndrome will take me down... But I'm going to make it happen because it'll make our school a safer place.
I loved when post this vulnerable content on your healing journey, it makes me feel that I'm not alone. I want to journal like everyday in the morning, I also want to take some weekends to walk and go outside because I'm starting to realize the more I stay in my apartment, I feel a bit down and I want to push myself and be responsible for my craft so I think that I'll make sometimes to get the artist book.
Kati, thank you. The things you talk about and the advice/knowledge you provide speaks so much to me so again, thank you. Its so interesting that thing you said about perfectionism being the worst thing we learn or do to ourselves, I am currently on a personal journey within myself in regard to my issue with perfectionism, and my art teacher who is brilliant (who also has struggled with perfectionism) has been helping me with my view on my art work and how to break away from the 'perfectionist' ideology and with myself generally to undo my own perfectionist mindset because being perfect in my art and in myself has been something I have strived for, for basically my whole life and deep down I knew it was an unhealthy thing to obsess over, the concept of 'being perfect' and my artwork 'looking perfect' but after hearing your insight on it, I am now wrapping my head around the weight of how much the concept that perfectionism is actually a terrible illness for me personally, and that motivates me to address this issue now more than ever, One other thing is my art teacher and I discussed how, when you strive only for perfect and no less, we actually shut doors to so many other learning opportunities and experiences. I really can't thank you enough. I love you and I love all you do. I hope you always find peace through the hard times, Kati. (sorry I know this is a massive rambling paragraph!)
Thank you so much for the update, Kati! I so appreciate you sharing both the good & the bad. Looking back and realizing that not all of the things that happened in your life were bad helps a lot. For me, I think I need to do something fun at least once a week. I'm so used to work, work, work (like you), that I don't really take time to enjoy life. I think if I did, I wouldn't be as low energy & depressed as I have been in the past week and a half. I've been battling an addiction and it's been hell.
I love The Artist’s Way!! First read it about twenty years ago. Started doing morning pages again about I don’t know 8-10 years ago. Really helps me on so many levels. Recently have added evening or bedtime pages. Twice as nice! During lockdown I started watching some TH-cam vids on drawing and painting using that as stress management and it has really boosted my self esteem. I can get down on myself for not doing it everyday and that is where I have to kind of be nicer to myself. Still struggling with that… but loving your tie ins with Artist’s Way!!! Will be checking in with you more often love to all
I love this update. It seems like somethings really shifted and you are finally able to let yourself settle into a new life. I'm really pleased for you. It's a great example of how if we are proactive, we won't be in the trenches forever. Enjoy the sunshine. So happy the clouds have parted. ❤❤❤
Your book sounds like Julia Cameron's The Artists Way book...I've learned a lot from that about my creativity and how much our healing can be freeing through our creative self. Btw I love watching your videos! I think you're one of the most authentic youtuber sharing on mental health here. Thank you so much for being you!!
You care about us so much! Know that we also care about you! I'm turning 40 this year and this is giving me some hope I can still build some happiness in life 🎉
@Vanessa Ebertz thank you...Katie is talking about how important it is to find a good fit in therapy...well I have been in therapy for 8 years and although it was helpful at some point it just wasn't working for me anymore. I know it would be beneficial for me to get some therapy again but I just don't feel I would be able to find a better fit where I live and there's the financial issue. So I try to get from Katie's channel as much as I can and work on myself 🫶🫶🫶
I'm doing the Artist's Way too! I absolutely love it! I'm so happy you found a therapist that you click with in Austin, Kati. The universe is always working in your favor... even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes. Wish you all the best! ❤️✨
Thank you for this! I have recently moved (had a rent control in Santa Monica for 25 years), work from home, and needed some motivation to get out and start building a life. PS As someone in the design/construction business, I always warn my friends to mentally double both the time and estimated cost of any home renovation project. It doesn’t matter where you live. This way, if it takes less time and less money than you mentally prepared for, you’re stoked and if it goes over, you “knew it.” For a myriad of reasons, it’s a rare miracle when contractors come in as estimated.
Thank you! It was good to hear it took you 2 yrs to find someone. I’m finally seeking help and I’m quickly giving up. BPD makes it hard to find someone. Especially close by. And a big thank you for all your videos. Especially this one. I feel a little more normal. I struggle with the same things you do. You’re helping more then anyone I’ve talked to, thank you. Jst in case I didn’t mention it, thank you again for your videos 😊
Thank you for walking us through that. I love the part you shared about the first couple things you did with your new therapist particularly the ACEs study, that’s super helpful
I love hearing your updates Kati, I have a therapist and it's online, I would prefer to see them in person. I also have a counselor and they told me to make friends it requires 2 things. Vulnerability and proximity. Making friends as kids was sooo easy because we were forced to be surrounded by our peers regularly with school. If you can find a way to get proximity to people regularly, then naturally friendships will come. This can be through work, volunteering, participating in hobbies. I don't have lots of friends, I'm taking small steps like last week I went out to dinner with my coworkers and had a great time.
Thanks for posting this. It's very helpful to hear about your experiences with therapy - makes you seem a lot more relatable and therapy seem a lot less alienating.
Moving and making new friends is hard. It takes time. I am glad you are feeling better. You give so much of yourself here on TH-cam. I find you to be a very real and genuine person which is why I am subscribed to your channel. I feel blessed to have your presence in my life. You have been instrumental in helping me to realize that I have choices in life. Thank you for giving us so much of yourself. I value your insight and input. It helps so much.❤
Kati, thank you. Period. Your video a few months ago RE the signs of childhood emotional neglect was validation for me (67) and a breakthrough for my sister (76), with whom I shared it, who was still untreated for our trauma. (She does really well with checklists. LOL So, she scored a nine of nine and self-reported.) I've seen a valued therapist for some 30 years, meaning not every week, but she's been part of my life as it's evolved all that time. My sister, no such person as a therapist in her life. In fact, she has rejected such help again and again...yet...your video reached her. Similarly, this video: your check-in as a person, helped me. As in: Today (but 'splaining that would be another whole long typing thing, nevermind) and also helped my oldest and dearest friend...the part about embracing the unknown: Okay, What The? You have these checklists to solve a problem (find new therapist) and synchronicity presents EMDR. I can say, for me--yeah, talk-therapy, amazing back in 1989 onward...then EMDR (for which my dear long-term therapist trained to offer when it became accepted and available)...Hello! Such relief, profound. I know EMDR is not for all, but, yay you for taking the new step.
I've cut all Social Media and Regular Media that has anything negative on it. I cut out people in my life that do not bring me happiness. I put my wife and myself first in being happy, the rest will fall into place. Taking moments to realize how blessed my life is. Not paying attention to anything in the media anymore. The Media is NOT real life, it's entertainment to keep you stressed and to keep you watching. Take time for yourself and enjoy being you.
I like that you have no problem sharing your humanness with us. With that said you have helped me so so much Katie I really appreciate you. Thank you 😊
Hi Kati, I'm so glad that you found a therapist that's a good fit! What you said about 'Perfectionism is looking for the worst', this is so enlightening! Just to share with you something wonderful, I have been working on an affirmation card project with my daughter for our depressed friends (who are unwilling to see therapist) and also for me (I need the cards to remind myself). It's been so relaxing and fulfilling. My daughter taught me how to relax while we're painting the affirmation cards which is really what I need (I'm always looking for perfection while I was painting and it was actually kind of stressful even though I still enjoy painting). Our theme of the project is 'imperfections', so we don't have to paint the perfect flowers, we just have to paint some flowers as the background and write the affirmations words like 'I am more than Good enough'; 'I am capable of growth'; 'My needs matter'; 'I am the most important person in my life'; 'I use my energy to nurture people and things that I love', 'I am kind and compassionate to myself'; 'I am proud of how far I have come' ; 'Today I choose Joy'. I was practically chanting 'Imperfection is the theme' while I was painting. I am very fortunate to have such a kind, sweet and supportive daughter. She is very happy that I persuaded her to start the project for her friend, and I am equally happy to do the project with her.
Hi Kati glad to hear you are looking after yourself and your friends and family. Life is not easy and we all have to look after after the after our mental health and physical health. Kind regards. Lucy Gemmill. Melbourne Australia
From one perfectionist to another, I never thought about perfectionism in the way that you give us in this quote "perfectionism is not about seeking the best in ourselves, it's about us finding the worst...." Bold words of truth. Everyone seems to have an aversion to imperfection and perfectionists are the worst offenders. Even though deep down we know that nothing is perfect we still strive to find what is wrong with everything. This will require work, but starting today, I will make the effort to l acknowledge the worst while looking for the best because in the end--it is impossible for anything to be perfect. Thanks for another wonderful video
I love hearing your updates and YES, 100% agree it is as hard to find someone good as it is to need someone. Another issue is access: I live in alabama and was on Medicaid for a while, here the ONLY option on that ins is mental help through a state agency: SO infuriating because the patient has zero input into their therapist. Sliding scale is the next option, better but still very very limited. It’s just really difficult
Your updates are so relatable to me. I've bounced around to different therapists for three years and I'm still not sure about the latest guy. I painfully miss my previous counselor and have a hard time NOT comparing everyone to her. I've just recently reframed "self care" in my head and making sure that I give myself some every day is so much more of a challenge that I think it should be. There are a lot of things that I love about it but after more than 20 years in Texas, I still feel like an outsider and am frequently homesick. In general, I feel like I'm usually overwhelmed by things that everyone is dealing with - which makes me feel a certain kind of way. And don't even get me started on contractors.... Anyway, your openness and vulnerability is like ice water on a hot day (or any day between May and September in Texas). Thanks for all you do.
Just diagnosed with BPD depression and waiting the next steps feeling ridiculously misunderstood by everyone that loves me. My eyes leak when I watch your videos , can’t believe how similar you and I are . You are a great human being who helps so many more than you will ever know . Thank you Katie for sharing yourself with us.🥲🥲🥲
First of all, the flowers that bloomed in the beginning were so pretty! Lately, I've been struggling with confrontations of my real self what i am or what i am not and self destructing myself in the process, you know the BPD Identity crisis....this video showed up on my feed today. Your videos are a source of strength for a teenager who comes from a place where there is still a lot of stigma around mental health and absolutely hard to find a therapist, my parents are emotionally detached so we don't exactly have a healthy relationship. What's harder is to try and find balance between my devil self that is physically as well emotionally abusive to to being a person who feels empathy. It's a real roller coaster! Now, I'm not here to complain but I mentioned all these things because in times like these hope feels like a fragile word...nothing that you ever do starts to feel good especially when the environment around you is so invalidating but when i see people like you on the internet, it gives me the will to stay alive everyday, it makes me feel that i do have feelings, that i am not a monster, that i can be 2 people in 1 body and that i can change as well as be myself. That there is a person over shadowed by this illness in the moment but when all dust gets settled, my true self is prettier than i expect. As much soothing as it is to find a label, it also perpetuates a cycle of your demons throwing you back in redemption but no matter how bad this gets, I'm gonna let the dawn break through dusk and take in each moment as it comes. Hold me accountable!! I just wanna end this with this statement that is very comforting, I hope it comforts you too Kati, "If you think too much about the ass kicking that your mom gave you or the ass kicking that life gave you, you’ll stop pushing the boundaries and breaking the rules. It’s better to take it, spend some time crying, then wake up the next day and move on. You’ll have a few bruises and they’ll remind you of what happened and that’s ok. But after a while, the bruises fade and they fade for a reason. Because now, it’s time to get up to some shit again."-Trevor Noah . . Lots of Love!
Working in the foster care system as a case manager, I perked up when I heard you mention ACES. I just recently did some training on ACES, and was blown away at how few people only have one ACE. It's way more common to have zero or two than only one.
The book you are working with, the yoga studio, finding a therapist that's a good fit...all things to celebrate! Once we have a string of successes, it's easier to continue forward. We know not so good things will happen because that's life, but we need 'breathers', as I call them. A space of time where nothing good or bad happens, within our control as best as possible, so we can catch our breath. It kind of clears the mind, evens out the psyche, allows the body to recover so we can face our challenges, as well as our victories with renewed hope and vision. That breather is almost always self-care. Hopefully, since COVID (I like how you called it PC because I have been thinking before COVID, during COVID and after (since) COVID as part of my timeline) we are able to see that self-care isn't selfish and is, actually, a very important part of life balance.
Nice job, Kati-super happy to hear that you’ve found a way forward that works for you. Doing stuff that lights you up and helps you feel good will have such a ripple effect. Every little bit helps! I bet you make some new friends in your yoga classes.
This might have been what I needed to hear today, especially the bit about the small steps at the end. I've been having a bit of a depressive episode lately where I just have no interest in anything and I'm not enjoying activities that I used to love (and my body just aches all the time all over). For a little bit, I was making a conscious effort to do yoga in the morning, eat breakfast (which was actually a pretty big step for me due to struggles with an ED), and then I was doing this thing where I would set a timer for 10 minutes and sit down and engage in something (like playing piano) and the idea there was I do the thing until the timer goes off, when the timer goes off, I can then choose whether or not I want to continue. But I've basically let myself slide off the wagon of doing those things, and this video makes me think that maybe I should start doing that again,
Hi!! Biggest hugs to you!! I get it. I have had depression since my childhood, it ebbs and flows. These last few months I faced extreme burnout in my massage career. And the worst depression of my life. I closed my practice last month and I’m doing light contract work while I try some new treatments. I didn’t plan to close my biz but mental health comes first. Anyways sharing all this to say I’m so glad you’re finding help. I haven’t heard of the butterfly tap but I have done emdr and like it. I respond really well to CST and reiki, and biofield tuning. And acupuncture. Whenever I can afford it! All the best to everyone on their healing journey. ❤❤❤
Just went through the process of finding a new MH provider as well after just over a year of not going to therapy and it was nerve-racking, but I'm so glad I found a good fit! It's worth it...even if the process to get there is often frustrating. I am trying to do little things every day that make my life feel joyful and pleasant as well, rather than just going through the motions and feeling like things are always on repeat. Like; Chores. Feeding myself and my partner. Work. Sleep like shit. Repeat. You are making me want to start doing the Artist's Way again! I found a lovely (brand new) copy of it last summer at a used book store and had started the process but never finished the book... life got extremely busy (I was taking online Uni courses at the time). Might be time to pick it up again. Thanks Katie :)
I thought I needed something more. Went to a different therapist for a few months and sent crying back to my old therapist. But I think I NEEDED that step away for a while. I have been seeing my therapist for at least ten years and I think we had gotten more conversational. I think the break re-directed us back on path. Also, I love your honesty and you openness. We appreciate it❤
I've had a whole lifetime of trying to find a good therapist, after having bad one after bad one after bad one. I'm a trauma survivor with a very traumatic childhood and past. My last therapist would point out the following two comments: 1) They would point out that I keep focusing on the past. No kidding. That's where the trauma occurred. 2) They would point out that I keep repeating myself. No kidding. I'm processing a lifetime of trauma. It's a slow gradual process that I might spend the rest of my life doing. I was stunned the therapist didn't "get it". I still maintain he was a horribly trained therapist. Clearly he wasn't listening. Now, I finally have a good trauma specialist I'm seeing. Perfect? No. But nobody is perfect - we're all human and flawed. But she is a very positive influence in my therapy, unlike prior therapists that didn't "get it".
I had two awful therapists before I found my current one. I have to remind myself that there are dumb and/or lazy people in every profession and to not blindly accept that someone is good at their job. I'm sure we can all look around our individual professions and see how bad some people are at it.
I love this comment!! My last therapist that I stopped seeing used to say the same thing to me "You focus too much on the past" Umm yea I know, that's where my issues are that I need to work on, can you help me??🤦♀️😂 He was very nice and I kept seeing him for way too long cuz of how nice he was BUT he just wasn't knowledgeable in what I needed help in. He would ask ME questions about ED's and Addiction, I spent more time educating him but not getting any help whatsoever. I'm still searching for a new therapist, it's so hard.
We all love you ❤️. You’ve been a teacher all these years and now you’re showing us how to go through what a lot of us go through. Greater is the war commander who shows us how to fight in our shoes than tells us how to fight. Again we love you, thank you!
Not saying it’s good to go through these things or should be pursued at all, but just trying to say if you feel like a failure, please don’t, cause you’re actually talking and touching people at a deeper level. And I appreciate it and I’m sure many others do too
It is a process to find the right therapist, however, therapy is something that should work for YOU! Your healing journey is your own and no one else's. ❤ Therapy is not a linear process and isn't the same for everyone!
O my gosh! You're in Texas? Me too. Cali to Texas has been an exponentially more traumatic experience and one of kind completely different level of change that continues to challenge me. Four years and I have yet to acclimate and adjust to a place with no mountains, no beaches, no secret swimming holes, no fresh water, no garden....and finding a good therapist? Your video about that has helped sort out the bad ones with one phone call. Thanks for that tip.
Thanks for sharing this with us. So good to know you are taking the steps you can to feel better. Send you all the good vibes for the studio and big hugs(if you want them)
I'm also an in person session kinda person and it is extremely difficult to find someone these days. Happy for you! PS - Agreed construction is a nightmare, it's so hard to find a decent contractor! Hope it turns around for ya!
I've been seeing my therapist awhile ( 6 years) now I feel all we do is talk like friends she also talks too much about her cats dogs husband ect,,,thinking I might have to switch...not feeling it anymore
I found flotation helpful way back before it became commercially available in the 1970s. Another thing that was helpful was never straying too far from my font of mirth, which for me was and still is James Thurber. If music has meaning for you, Austin is a superb place to be, full of nightclubs and madly hopping venues with great musicians from all over the world making their beelines for your city. Or so I've been told.
Thank you, Kati! 💜 I love my therapist, I've been seeing her for quite a few years, and you're right that if you don't click with them, just move on. Best of everything to you ❤
Thank you, Kati! So happy to know you are doing better ❤ I'll go for a walk for my mental health now, even though that's not easy to do the first step and even step out of the house.
Artists way was do revolutionary for me, especially for giving myself those dopamine boosts at least once a week, or even just listening to my inner artist/child/self that deserves a bit of care and fun and beauty. Currently trying to rewrite a novel, it's so hard! But chipping away bit by bit, even when it seems impossible. Focusing on the step right at my feet, just the next one, helps. And then after 3 hrs, even with distractions, I see I've taken like 10 steps!! Cant wait to get back into writing mode and just see the words fill the page again
My little thing is taking a walk once a week. I experience pretty intense bouts of depression and this week my therapist encouraged me to just challenge myself to get out of bed and take a walk no matter how small.
❤ You are so sweet, so kind hearted! I am on board with Everything you sad here. I started doing this for 3 years ago but still have to remind myself of doing things for Myself!! How HARD can that be!? My gosh..... I also took care of my inner child more and that has being a great way to set boundaries and take care of my needs. Feels like my main purpose is my inner child. If i could give you one advice.. GO BACK and watch THIS video one time a week 👍 To remind yourself of the amazing stuff you say here!!! ❤❤
Working from home has destroyed my life. Its the hardest thing i ever dealt with in my life. Definitely easy to be frozen in inaction when you dont have to leave the house. It IS work to leave but its always rewarding I dont understand why its so hard to do. Im going to follow your advice and try also. Thank you! ❤
Awesome share,thank you. One thing--As a 4th Gen Native Texan w daughters/grandaughters,I cannot comprehend a healthy-minded person moving TO Texas. Hang tuff!
I struggle with chronic pain and tend to push myself hard. I am always doing small steps each day and manage quite well. I need to remind myself I am doing okay.
Perfectionism is the biggest self-sabotage! It’s trapping self in constant failure because perfectionism is rotted in the concept of not being enough, or having enough or feeling enough! When we can pre-establish a foundation or a inner compass that we can identify with, then perfectionism is no longer part of the picture. A realistic approach towards self is what makes it the most possible. The most perfect self is the unique one, is the only one that there is ❤! That’s perfection !
I'm glad you're doing ok! This helped me a lot. 😊 I've been so tired and demotivated lately and have all those "shoulds". I also stopped seeing my very first therapist because after 4 sessions I still didn't feel comfortable around him and it wasn't a good fit. I haven't got a new one yet because I've been scared to try. Thank you, sending all the love and positivity from Scotland
I'm in Texas too (Waco 🙂), having moved from Pennsylvania over 25 years ago. It did take quite a while to transition, especially for me with the weather. I was comforted, I suppose you can say, with your struggles to find the right therapist. My daughter suffers from agoraphobia, which we think in part is due to her headaches and dizziness. Most of the psychologists so far, have jumped into a practical path to exposure therapy. That's definitely a realistic and practical approach. But I've been surprised how no one has talked with her about those actual fears, possible origins aside from the more obvious medical issues. Anyway, I guess it's going to take some time, and you've encouraged me to not feel defeated in that search. Thank you! That's a great quote about perfection. Spoke to me big time! I'm going to look into The Artist's Way. It looks like it may be a very helpful ingredient for my daughter's recovery and for my healing and personal growth as well. ❤ God bless you on that journey...that "Texas" journey.😅
I needed this as well today, motivation has been difficult. Thank you❤.
I love that you're so transparent and dare to be vulnerable. And not just being one of all the always happy jolly youtubers.
I agree ❤
I agree
I also agree
11:37 "Perfectionism isn't about us seeking the best in ourselves; it's about seeking the worst". Wow! That hits hard!
Same! I rewound and listened to that a bunch of times to let it sink in. :)
It's - sadly - a huge relief to hear that you, as a therapist with so much knowledge and experience, had a very difficult time finding the right therapist as well. I live in Turkiye, a prominently Muslim country with certain cultural expectations - none I have in my own life which makes finding the right open-minded therapist very very difficult. Finances play a huge role as well, so until I find the right human therapist, I'll have to do with my many feline therapists here in Istanbul. They do demand a fee - cuddles and some food, but hey, it makes me happy, it makes them happy so win win for all. Thanks for this very honest video!
Feline therapist who requires some cuddles and food 😂 haha, so cute. That is probably their main role - but yes their therapy is not free, just cheaper than usual.. 😁
I did EMDR, and I was really surprised by how well it worked. I didn't realize certain memories were still affecting me so much, and since we went through them, I feel a bump in my self-esteem and less anxiety.
That's great! I have done EMDR before and it is hard work. It also can be very draining.
EMDR is helping to change my life, it has been transformative for me.
I have also done EMDR. Amazing. It really helped me tap into the emotions surrounding traumatic memories that i was repressing most of the time and let go of a lot of the pain. I would get caught off guard replaying these scenarios in my head, get stuck, reliving/feeling those painful times as if they were happening that moment. It helped me place those experiences in the past so i could move forward and be present in my life. I highly recommend it to anyone working through trauma. Work with a specialist though. A good EMDR therapist will be careful to gradually work your way up to what you can handle. It takes time. It is transformative when done right in my experience.
I love how raw you are. Because of this, you are a role model for so many. I have noticed you were not looking yourself in your videos but was too scared to say so. All the best!
Yes❤
I’m a recovering perfectionist and my therapist talks about working towards “all or something” thinking instead of “all or nothing” and that has become a really helpful mantra for me.
I’ve also been really working on making space in my emotional container and learning better emotional regulation, because growing up my parents didn’t (and still don’t) deal with stress or negative feelings well. I think practicing self-love and self-care, even in the form of just carving out time to do things that bring you joy or peace, has made a HUGE difference. It’s allowed me to have a lot more patience and to deal with adversity and stress a little more easily.
Good luck with your new therapist ❤
As someone who works in the field of addiction and mental health. Anyone working in the helping profession should be required to be in therapy regardless how well they are (or not). I admire you for getting the help you need to take care of you first. This makes you a better therapist. I had colleagues who thought they were above this and many burnt out, lacked professional boundaries and were extremely inappropriate, worse was when they lacked compassion with the patients they were helping or committed suicide. When I was in nursing many years ago my professors always told us to go to therapy to have an appropriate avenue to vent grievances in addition to keeping yourself in "check" in case you were heading towards a burn out. It is a very stressful profession that requires you to care for the sick and needy. I honestly can say if I hadn't listened to what I was recommended to do, I don't think I would have lasted long in this profession especially with the personal things I dealt with prior that came up. I was a military combat trauma nurse way before becoming a psychiatric nurse. To me being deployed to three war zones I thought was easier to work in than being a psychiatric nurse. Physical trauma is less taxing to work with than mental trauma. Some of the **** my psych patients went through, I don't blame them becoming addicted to substances. You had an ACES score of 1. Many of my patients had a full on 10. At times I thought I was jaded but my therapist told me I was more desensitised.
Powerful!
Thank you for saying this. I’m an early childhood teacher and have been interested in finding my own therapist for years- I need to be held accountable like Kati too. Gonna make it a priority. I need to do the work and take action and not just sit around waiting. It’s hard but I will take that first step
never done this before...from Oregon, left narcissist husband after 44+ years in late 2021 when the emotional abuse segued into physical...you're real, you tell it like it is and reminded me that I own the Artist's way, never cracked it, but you have inspired me to do just that. Even though it took time for me to understand, it is never too late to make your life better. Safety has given me wings, and you are a part of my healing.
Aww i Love that. “You’re a part of my healing” aren’t we all just so grateful for Kati! She’s amazing
“I know this comes from a place of privilege…” Your stress is still valid! Doesn’t matter where it comes from. ❤️
I'm starting to think that "Privilege" is an invalidating and gaslighting word used (many time without malicious intentions) from victimhood mentality
@Ramón Rodriguez yessss! I absolutely hate that word in this type of context. It makes people feel more disenfranchised when they're already feeling crappy.
@@JoseRRodriguezIt’s trendy bullsh*t, is what it is….
Yeah I've felt it was gaslighting for a long time. Can we just stop comparing and realize you don't know what someone else has been through because you aren't them and just be kind without needing these extras?
@@JoseRRodriguez Sorry but facing issues in a stable environment is plainly less difficult than doing it in an unstable one with unstable people. This is the real world.
Thanks Kati, for always keeping it real. I'm glad to hear you are better.
Landslide by Fleetwood Mac Always helps me when I’m going through changes! ❤❤❤
You are so genuine!
I'm currently not seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist because of insurance and cost.
I have been journaling now because of you!
Most helpful thing that pulls me from being a rolled up depression burrito in my bed is looking around and appreciating the small things that I have.
Motivation is still very hard and I beat myself up for being lazy and not going. The journaling is helping me forgive myself more. A new thing I learned that I need to do.
Thank you so much for your videos! I appreciate you!
Thank you for sharing your experiences with therapy and self care. I watched your videos and have found a lot of great videos you have posted. Keep doing your thing!
So glad you're feeling better Kati- God bless you and Sean- sending lots of good thoughts and prayers your way!😀 We are always here for you all😀
I’m a big fan of Julia Cameron . Haven’t opened one 9f her books lately but am inspired now to review The Artist’s Way. Watching you has given me a lot 9f insights about my childhood so many thanks, by the way I’m 83 so it was a long time ago. I guess it’s never too late to address such issues. I am amazed at how brave, open, and vulnerable you are willing to be. Clearly I see you are dealing with sadness and my thoughts of support go out to you. I do some writing on creativity and have a technique which I call Chip, chip, chip. Taking small steps everyday towards your goal and acknowledging yourself for daily progress on a checklist. You make a difference! Thank you .
Thank you for sharing this!!! I can relate to so much! As someone who also works from home it is so hard to meet people and make friends. I am an older millenial, widowed, with no kids and find it SO hard to meet people who I click with. Been in therapy for almost a decade and one of my goals this year is to really put effort into making new friends. It's SO hard. Hearing this from you is SO encouraging! Thanks for ALL you do but more importantly WHO you are!
You're a really kind and lovely person. Thank you for your videos.
Glad you've found a good therapist. Yes, it's hard finding someone who is a good fit, and someone who isn't going to move onto another job. After many years, I found a therapist who is a trauma specialist, and yes, she swears (cusses) too. She has her own practice, and made it clear to me that she isn't going anywhere.
I don’t usually have time to come on here and check out your videos but I’ve been following you for years and appreciate you so much. You’re a great example of being Non- judge mental, and vulnerable, kind, compassionate. I look up to you so much as a counselor in training
I am so proud of you. Your incredible ability to be transparent with informed insight to establishing boundaries is so inspiring. I can see improvement in my life, but I am not anywhere near where I want to be. However, I am
1. Excercising
2. Writing
3. Praying
4. Trying to Improve
There is a lot that I would like to change about my circumstances. However, these days, I am just grateful for the little bit of growth I do make, and whatever measure of consistency I demonstrate in achieving it. Some days it feels like it will take forever, but I have resolved that even if it does, I would rather die trying than not try at all.
I believe it’s the journey, the experience we receive during the journey. Sometimes we have to ask ourselves, not why, but what is the lesson I need to learn. Perhaps you’re going through this part of your journey because you are helping others and the only way to fully understand is to go through it. You are stronger than you think. Stay focused on you and the rest will fall in place. Take the actions you need to heal and grow. Someone is watching your progress, be it 25% or 90%, they’re seeing your growth. They’re telling themselves, if she can do it, then so can I! Keep up your message. You are helping more than you know. 🤗
I so appreciate your authenticity! I show your videos to my psych classes and they love you, too.
Also, what you says resonates. I moved to a new place two years ago and feel like I’ve just been trying to ‘survive’ here, too.
Thank you for your honesty and sharing about your struggle finding a therapist and the joy in returning to your yoga studio. Twib things I need to work on: (1) not dwelling in the negative. (2) believing I'm capable of running an Emergency Action Plan at my school. I feel like I'm too stupid or convoluted to make it happen, that I'll look like an idiot and my imposter syndrome will take me down... But I'm going to make it happen because it'll make our school a safer place.
I loved when post this vulnerable content on your healing journey, it makes me feel that I'm not alone. I want to journal like everyday in the morning, I also want to take some weekends to walk and go outside because I'm starting to realize the more I stay in my apartment, I feel a bit down and I want to push myself and be responsible for my craft so I think that I'll make sometimes to get the artist book.
thank you for the yoga encouragement 💙
You've always talked about how important connecting with people in person is to your mental health...good for you for getting back to it.
Kati, thank you. The things you talk about and the advice/knowledge you provide speaks so much to me so again, thank you. Its so interesting that thing you said about perfectionism being the worst thing we learn or do to ourselves, I am currently on a personal journey within myself in regard to my issue with perfectionism, and my art teacher who is brilliant (who also has struggled with perfectionism) has been helping me with my view on my art work and how to break away from the 'perfectionist' ideology and with myself generally to undo my own perfectionist mindset because being perfect in my art and in myself has been something I have strived for, for basically my whole life and deep down I knew it was an unhealthy thing to obsess over, the concept of 'being perfect' and my artwork 'looking perfect' but after hearing your insight on it, I am now wrapping my head around the weight of how much the concept that perfectionism is actually a terrible illness for me personally, and that motivates me to address this issue now more than ever, One other thing is my art teacher and I discussed how, when you strive only for perfect and no less, we actually shut doors to so many other learning opportunities and experiences. I really can't thank you enough. I love you and I love all you do. I hope you always find peace through the hard times, Kati. (sorry I know this is a massive rambling paragraph!)
Thank you so much for the update, Kati! I so appreciate you sharing both the good & the bad. Looking back and realizing that not all of the things that happened in your life were bad helps a lot. For me, I think I need to do something fun at least once a week. I'm so used to work, work, work (like you), that I don't really take time to enjoy life. I think if I did, I wouldn't be as low energy & depressed as I have been in the past week and a half. I've been battling an addiction and it's been hell.
I love The Artist’s Way!! First read it about twenty years ago. Started doing morning pages again about I don’t know 8-10 years ago. Really helps me on so many levels. Recently have added evening or bedtime pages. Twice as nice! During lockdown I started watching some TH-cam vids on drawing and painting using that as stress management and it has really boosted my self esteem. I can get down on myself for not doing it everyday and that is where I have to kind of be nicer to myself. Still struggling with that… but loving your tie ins with Artist’s Way!!! Will be checking in with you more often love to all
I love this update. It seems like somethings really shifted and you are finally able to let yourself settle into a new life. I'm really pleased for you. It's a great example of how if we are proactive, we won't be in the trenches forever. Enjoy the sunshine. So happy the clouds have parted. ❤❤❤
You’re amazing. I’ve lost my life mojo and I need to give myself a kick in my pants. Ugh. Just want to sleep.😮
Your book sounds like Julia Cameron's The Artists Way book...I've learned a lot from that about my creativity and how much our healing can be freeing through our creative self. Btw I love watching your videos! I think you're one of the most authentic youtuber sharing on mental health here. Thank you so much for being you!!
Yes that’s what she said it was 😊
The Artist's Way, by Julia Cameron is a fantastic book. I bought it years ago, and I need to revisit this book again!
You care about us so much! Know that we also care about you! I'm turning 40 this year and this is giving me some hope I can still build some happiness in life 🎉
@Vanessa Ebertz thank you...Katie is talking about how important it is to find a good fit in therapy...well I have been in therapy for 8 years and although it was helpful at some point it just wasn't working for me anymore. I know it would be beneficial for me to get some therapy again but I just don't feel I would be able to find a better fit where I live and there's the financial issue. So I try to get from Katie's channel as much as I can and work on myself 🫶🫶🫶
I'm doing the Artist's Way too! I absolutely love it! I'm so happy you found a therapist that you click with in Austin, Kati. The universe is always working in your favor... even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes. Wish you all the best! ❤️✨
I’m having a axnxiety crisis and your videos help me a lot ❤ now I gotta put these things into action!!
Thank you for this! I have recently moved (had a rent control in Santa Monica for 25 years), work from home, and needed some motivation to get out and start building a life. PS As someone in the design/construction business, I always warn my friends to mentally double both the time and estimated cost of any home renovation project. It doesn’t matter where you live. This way, if it takes less time and less money than you mentally prepared for, you’re stoked and if it goes over, you “knew it.” For a myriad of reasons, it’s a rare miracle when contractors come in as estimated.
Thank you! It was good to hear it took you 2 yrs to find someone. I’m finally seeking help and I’m quickly giving up. BPD makes it hard to find someone. Especially close by. And a big thank you for all your videos. Especially this one. I feel a little more normal. I struggle with the same things you do. You’re helping more then anyone I’ve talked to, thank you. Jst in case I didn’t mention it, thank you again for your videos 😊
Thank you for walking us through that. I love the part you shared about the first couple things you did with your new therapist particularly the ACEs study, that’s super helpful
I love hearing your updates Kati, I have a therapist and it's online, I would prefer to see them in person. I also have a counselor and they told me to make friends it requires 2 things. Vulnerability and proximity. Making friends as kids was sooo easy because we were forced to be surrounded by our peers regularly with school. If you can find a way to get proximity to people regularly, then naturally friendships will come. This can be through work, volunteering, participating in hobbies. I don't have lots of friends, I'm taking small steps like last week I went out to dinner with my coworkers and had a great time.
Thanks for posting this. It's very helpful to hear about your experiences with therapy - makes you seem a lot more relatable and therapy seem a lot less alienating.
Moving and making new friends is hard. It takes time. I am glad you are feeling better. You give so much of yourself here on TH-cam. I find you to be a very real and genuine person which is why I am subscribed to your channel.
I feel blessed to have your presence in my life. You have been instrumental in helping me to realize that I have choices in life. Thank you for giving us so much of yourself. I value your insight and input. It helps so much.❤
Kati, thank you. Period. Your video a few months ago RE the signs of childhood emotional neglect was validation for me (67) and a breakthrough for my sister (76), with whom I shared it, who was still untreated for our trauma. (She does really well with checklists. LOL So, she scored a nine of nine and self-reported.) I've seen a valued therapist for some 30 years, meaning not every week, but she's been part of my life as it's evolved all that time. My sister, no such person as a therapist in her life. In fact, she has rejected such help again and again...yet...your video reached her. Similarly, this video: your check-in as a person, helped me. As in: Today (but 'splaining that would be another whole long typing thing, nevermind) and also helped my oldest and dearest friend...the part about embracing the unknown: Okay, What The? You have these checklists to solve a problem (find new therapist) and synchronicity presents EMDR. I can say, for me--yeah, talk-therapy, amazing back in 1989 onward...then EMDR (for which my dear long-term therapist trained to offer when it became accepted and available)...Hello! Such relief, profound. I know EMDR is not for all, but, yay you for taking the new step.
I've cut all Social Media and Regular Media that has anything negative on it. I cut out people in my life that do not bring me happiness. I put my wife and myself first in being happy, the rest will fall into place. Taking moments to realize how blessed my life is. Not paying attention to anything in the media anymore. The Media is NOT real life, it's entertainment to keep you stressed and to keep you watching. Take time for yourself and enjoy being you.
I like that you have no problem sharing your humanness with us. With that said you have helped me so so much Katie I really appreciate you. Thank you 😊
Hi Kati, I'm so glad that you found a therapist that's a good fit! What you said about 'Perfectionism is looking for the worst', this is so enlightening!
Just to share with you something wonderful, I have been working on an affirmation card project with my daughter for our depressed friends (who are unwilling to see therapist) and also for me (I need the cards to remind myself). It's been so relaxing and fulfilling. My daughter taught me how to relax while we're painting the affirmation cards which is really what I need (I'm always looking for perfection while I was painting and it was actually kind of stressful even though I still enjoy painting). Our theme of the project is 'imperfections', so we don't have to paint the perfect flowers, we just have to paint some flowers as the background and write the affirmations words like 'I am more than Good enough'; 'I am capable of growth'; 'My needs matter'; 'I am the most important person in my life'; 'I use my energy to nurture people and things that I love', 'I am kind and compassionate to myself'; 'I am proud of how far I have come' ; 'Today I choose Joy'. I was practically chanting 'Imperfection is the theme' while I was painting. I am very fortunate to have such a kind, sweet and supportive daughter. She is very happy that I persuaded her to start the project for her friend, and I am equally happy to do the project with her.
Hi Kati glad to hear you are looking after yourself and your friends and family. Life is not easy and we all have to look after after the after our mental health and physical health. Kind regards. Lucy Gemmill. Melbourne Australia
From one perfectionist to another, I never thought about perfectionism in the way that you give us in this quote "perfectionism is not about seeking the best in ourselves, it's about us finding the worst...." Bold words of truth.
Everyone seems to have an aversion to imperfection and perfectionists are the worst offenders. Even though deep down we know that nothing is perfect we still strive to find what is wrong with everything. This will require work, but starting today, I will make the effort to l acknowledge the worst while looking for the best because in the end--it is impossible for anything to be perfect.
Thanks for another wonderful video
I love hearing your updates and YES, 100% agree it is as hard to find someone good as it is to need someone. Another issue is access: I live in alabama and was on Medicaid for a while, here the ONLY option on that ins is mental help through a state agency: SO infuriating because the patient has zero input into their therapist. Sliding scale is the next option, better but still very very limited. It’s just really difficult
Your updates are so relatable to me. I've bounced around to different therapists for three years and I'm still not sure about the latest guy. I painfully miss my previous counselor and have a hard time NOT comparing everyone to her. I've just recently reframed "self care" in my head and making sure that I give myself some every day is so much more of a challenge that I think it should be. There are a lot of things that I love about it but after more than 20 years in Texas, I still feel like an outsider and am frequently homesick. In general, I feel like I'm usually overwhelmed by things that everyone is dealing with - which makes me feel a certain kind of way. And don't even get me started on contractors.... Anyway, your openness and vulnerability is like ice water on a hot day (or any day between May and September in Texas). Thanks for all you do.
Love that you're candid, very refreshing!! Thank you so much for sharing. Subbed.
Just diagnosed with BPD depression and waiting the next steps feeling ridiculously misunderstood by everyone that loves me. My eyes leak when I watch your videos , can’t believe how similar you and I are .
You are a great human being who helps so many more than you will ever know . Thank you Katie for sharing yourself with us.🥲🥲🥲
Thank you so much for sharing, always feels like I am catching up with a close friend listening to your updates, and I feel less alone.
First of all, the flowers that bloomed in the beginning were so pretty! Lately, I've been struggling with confrontations of my real self what i am or what i am not and self destructing myself in the process, you know the BPD Identity crisis....this video showed up on my feed today. Your videos are a source of strength for a teenager who comes from a place where there is still a lot of stigma around mental health and absolutely hard to find a therapist, my parents are emotionally detached so we don't exactly have a healthy relationship. What's harder is to try and find balance between my devil self that is physically as well emotionally abusive to to being a person who feels empathy. It's a real roller coaster! Now, I'm not here to complain but I mentioned all these things because in times like these hope feels like a fragile word...nothing that you ever do starts to feel good especially when the environment around you is so invalidating but when i see people like you on the internet, it gives me the will to stay alive everyday, it makes me feel that i do have feelings, that i am not a monster, that i can be 2 people in 1 body and that i can change as well as be myself. That there is a person over shadowed by this illness in the moment but when all dust gets settled, my true self is prettier than i expect. As much soothing as it is to find a label, it also perpetuates a cycle of your demons throwing you back in redemption but no matter how bad this gets, I'm gonna let the dawn break through dusk and take in each moment as it comes. Hold me accountable!!
I just wanna end this with this statement that is very comforting, I hope it comforts you too Kati,
"If you think too much about the ass kicking that your mom gave you or the ass kicking that life gave you, you’ll stop pushing the boundaries and breaking the rules. It’s better to take it, spend some time crying, then wake up the next day and move on. You’ll have a few bruises and they’ll remind you of what happened and that’s ok. But after a while, the bruises fade and they fade for a reason. Because now, it’s time to get up to some shit again."-Trevor Noah
.
.
Lots of Love!
Working in the foster care system as a case manager, I perked up when I heard you mention ACES. I just recently did some training on ACES, and was blown away at how few people only have one ACE. It's way more common to have zero or two than only one.
thanks for showing us this side of yourself. ❤❤❤
Decent balance. Thank you for sharing Kati. You rock! 😎💓💓💓💓💓💓💓
The book you are working with, the yoga studio, finding a therapist that's a good fit...all things to celebrate! Once we have a string of successes, it's easier to continue forward. We know not so good things will happen because that's life, but we need 'breathers', as I call them. A space of time where nothing good or bad happens, within our control as best as possible, so we can catch our breath. It kind of clears the mind, evens out the psyche, allows the body to recover so we can face our challenges, as well as our victories with renewed hope and vision. That breather is almost always self-care. Hopefully, since COVID (I like how you called it PC because I have been thinking before COVID, during COVID and after (since) COVID as part of my timeline) we are able to see that self-care isn't selfish and is, actually, a very important part of life balance.
Nice job, Kati-super happy to hear that you’ve found a way forward that works for you. Doing stuff that lights you up and helps you feel good will have such a ripple effect. Every little bit helps! I bet you make some new friends in your yoga classes.
So honest, inspiriting and hopeful. Thank youl
I'm praying for you. You have been an inspiration and a great help. God Bless Kati.
Appreciate your vulnerability Kati, thanks for sharing ❤
thank you kati. we came a long wqy sent 2019. we all will contunue our healing journey. what a blessing.
This might have been what I needed to hear today, especially the bit about the small steps at the end. I've been having a bit of a depressive episode lately where I just have no interest in anything and I'm not enjoying activities that I used to love (and my body just aches all the time all over). For a little bit, I was making a conscious effort to do yoga in the morning, eat breakfast (which was actually a pretty big step for me due to struggles with an ED), and then I was doing this thing where I would set a timer for 10 minutes and sit down and engage in something (like playing piano) and the idea there was I do the thing until the timer goes off, when the timer goes off, I can then choose whether or not I want to continue. But I've basically let myself slide off the wagon of doing those things, and this video makes me think that maybe I should start doing that again,
Hi!! Biggest hugs to you!!
I get it. I have had depression since my childhood, it ebbs and flows. These last few months I faced extreme burnout in my massage career. And the worst depression of my life. I closed my practice last month and I’m doing light contract work while I try some new treatments. I didn’t plan to close my biz but mental health comes first.
Anyways sharing all this to say I’m so glad you’re finding help. I haven’t heard of the butterfly tap but I have done emdr and like it. I respond really well to CST and reiki, and biofield tuning. And acupuncture. Whenever I can afford it! All the best to everyone on their healing journey. ❤❤❤
Just went through the process of finding a new MH provider as well after just over a year of not going to therapy and it was nerve-racking, but I'm so glad I found a good fit! It's worth it...even if the process to get there is often frustrating. I am trying to do little things every day that make my life feel joyful and pleasant as well, rather than just going through the motions and feeling like things are always on repeat. Like; Chores. Feeding myself and my partner. Work. Sleep like shit. Repeat.
You are making me want to start doing the Artist's Way again! I found a lovely (brand new) copy of it last summer at a used book store and had started the process but never finished the book... life got extremely busy (I was taking online Uni courses at the time). Might be time to pick it up again. Thanks Katie :)
I’m so proud of all the hard work you’ve put in! ❤❤❤
I did some internal family systems work. Have done lots of therapy on and off in the past.
This was very helpful and effective for me. Whatever works!
25 % better is huge! I love to hear how you are doing and what you are up to. Keep on fighting the good fight Kati.
Sending hugs. Thank you Kati. Peace
I thought I needed something more. Went to a different therapist for a few months and sent crying back to my old therapist. But I think I NEEDED that step away for a while. I have been seeing my therapist for at least ten years and I think we had gotten more conversational. I think the break re-directed us back on path.
Also, I love your honesty and you openness. We appreciate it❤
I've had a whole lifetime of trying to find a good therapist, after having bad one after bad one after bad one.
I'm a trauma survivor with a very traumatic childhood and past. My last therapist would point out the following two comments:
1) They would point out that I keep focusing on the past. No kidding. That's where the trauma occurred.
2) They would point out that I keep repeating myself. No kidding. I'm processing a lifetime of trauma. It's a slow gradual process that I might spend the rest of my life doing.
I was stunned the therapist didn't "get it". I still maintain he was a horribly trained therapist. Clearly he wasn't listening.
Now, I finally have a good trauma specialist I'm seeing. Perfect? No. But nobody is perfect - we're all human and flawed. But she is a very positive influence in my therapy, unlike prior therapists that didn't "get it".
I had two awful therapists before I found my current one. I have to remind myself that there are dumb and/or lazy people in every profession and to not blindly accept that someone is good at their job. I'm sure we can all look around our individual professions and see how bad some people are at it.
I love this comment!! My last therapist that I stopped seeing used to say the same thing to me "You focus too much on the past" Umm yea I know, that's where my issues are that I need to work on, can you help me??🤦♀️😂 He was very nice and I kept seeing him for way too long cuz of how nice he was BUT he just wasn't knowledgeable in what I needed help in. He would ask ME questions about ED's and Addiction, I spent more time educating him but not getting any help whatsoever. I'm still searching for a new therapist, it's so hard.
I'm delighted that you've found a good one, and please keep your fingers crossed for me to find nice one as well.
We all love you ❤️. You’ve been a teacher all these years and now you’re showing us how to go through what a lot of us go through. Greater is the war commander who shows us how to fight in our shoes than tells us how to fight. Again we love you, thank you!
Not saying it’s good to go through these things or should be pursued at all, but just trying to say if you feel like a failure, please don’t, cause you’re actually talking and touching people at a deeper level. And I appreciate it and I’m sure many others do too
It is a process to find the right therapist, however, therapy is something that should work for YOU! Your healing journey is your own and no one else's. ❤ Therapy is not a linear process and isn't the same for everyone!
O my gosh! You're in Texas? Me too. Cali to Texas has been an exponentially more traumatic experience and one of kind completely different level of change that continues to challenge me. Four years and I have yet to acclimate and adjust to a place with no mountains, no beaches, no secret swimming holes, no fresh water, no garden....and finding a good therapist? Your video about that has helped sort out the bad ones with one phone call. Thanks for that tip.
Thanks for sharing this with us. So good to know you are taking the steps you can to feel better. Send you all the good vibes for the studio and big hugs(if you want them)
I'm also an in person session kinda person and it is extremely difficult to find someone these days. Happy for you!
PS - Agreed construction is a nightmare, it's so hard to find a decent contractor! Hope it turns around for ya!
Hi, Kati! I'm so glad you're prioritizing your self-care. It's definitely time to be happy. 😍
Good vibes! I hope you continue to have progress on things that are important to you, from the construction project to yoga to the artists way!
I've been seeing my therapist awhile ( 6 years) now I feel all we do is talk like friends she also talks too much about her cats dogs husband ect,,,thinking I might have to switch...not feeling it anymore
I found flotation helpful way back before it became commercially available in the 1970s. Another thing that was helpful was never straying too far from my font of mirth, which for me was and still is James Thurber. If music has meaning for you, Austin is a superb place to be, full of nightclubs and madly hopping venues with great musicians from all over the world making their beelines for your city. Or so I've been told.
Thank you, Kati! 💜
I love my therapist, I've been seeing her for quite a few years, and you're right that if you don't click with them, just move on.
Best of everything to you ❤
Thank you, Kati! So happy to know you are doing better ❤
I'll go for a walk for my mental health now, even though that's not easy to do the first step and even step out of the house.
Artists way was do revolutionary for me, especially for giving myself those dopamine boosts at least once a week, or even just listening to my inner artist/child/self that deserves a bit of care and fun and beauty.
Currently trying to rewrite a novel, it's so hard! But chipping away bit by bit, even when it seems impossible. Focusing on the step right at my feet, just the next one, helps. And then after 3 hrs, even with distractions, I see I've taken like 10 steps!! Cant wait to get back into writing mode and just see the words fill the page again
My little thing is taking a walk once a week. I experience pretty intense bouts of depression and this week my therapist encouraged me to just challenge myself to get out of bed and take a walk no matter how small.
❤ You are so sweet, so kind hearted! I am on board with Everything you sad here.
I started doing this for 3 years ago but still have to remind myself of doing things for Myself!! How HARD can that be!? My gosh.....
I also took care of my inner child more and that has being a great way to set boundaries and take care of my needs.
Feels like my main purpose is my inner child.
If i could give you one advice..
GO BACK and watch THIS video one time a week 👍
To remind yourself of the amazing stuff you say here!!! ❤❤
You are so honest, insightful and brilliant. ❤
Working from home has destroyed my life. Its the hardest thing i ever dealt with in my life. Definitely easy to be frozen in inaction when you dont have to leave the house. It IS work to leave but its always rewarding I dont understand why its so hard to do. Im going to follow your advice and try also. Thank you! ❤
EMDR is extremely powerful especially for trauma. So many hidden memories that I didn’t now even realize I had.
A lot of happiness comes from being less self absorbed
What brought u to texas?!❤ greetings from Dallas! R u in dallas
Awesome share,thank you. One thing--As a 4th Gen Native Texan w daughters/grandaughters,I cannot comprehend a healthy-minded person moving TO Texas. Hang tuff!
I struggle with chronic pain and tend to push myself hard. I am always doing small steps each day and manage quite well. I need to remind myself I am doing okay.
Perfectionism is the biggest self-sabotage! It’s trapping self in constant failure because perfectionism is rotted in the concept of not being enough, or having enough or feeling enough! When we can pre-establish a foundation or a inner compass that we can identify with, then perfectionism is no longer part of the picture. A realistic approach towards self is what makes it the most possible. The most perfect self is the unique one, is the only one that there is ❤! That’s perfection !
I'm glad you're doing ok! This helped me a lot. 😊 I've been so tired and demotivated lately and have all those "shoulds". I also stopped seeing my very first therapist because after 4 sessions I still didn't feel comfortable around him and it wasn't a good fit. I haven't got a new one yet because I've been scared to try. Thank you, sending all the love and positivity from Scotland
I'm in Texas too (Waco 🙂), having moved from Pennsylvania over 25 years ago. It did take quite a while to transition, especially for me with the weather. I was comforted, I suppose you can say, with your struggles to find the right therapist. My daughter suffers from agoraphobia, which we think in part is due to her headaches and dizziness. Most of the psychologists so far, have jumped into a practical path to exposure therapy. That's definitely a realistic and practical approach. But I've been surprised how no one has talked with her about those actual fears, possible origins aside from the more obvious medical issues. Anyway, I guess it's going to take some time, and you've encouraged me to not feel defeated in that search. Thank you! That's a great quote about perfection. Spoke to me big time! I'm going to look into The Artist's Way. It looks like it may be a very helpful ingredient for my daughter's recovery and for my healing and personal growth as well. ❤ God bless you on that journey...that "Texas" journey.😅
I love love EMDR… my therapist did knee tapping and combined it with IFS therapy! So so so amazing!
Thank you Katie!
This is great video connection to us!