$20 off!!! Get the How to Get Them to Chase You Masterclass for $20 off! This deal can’t be beat! thechazzellisproject.com/how-to-get-them-to-chase-you-masterclass/. USE COUPON CODE: 20FORME Offer expires 1/8/2021. When you watch How to Get Them to Chase You You will learn: Why You Need to Walk Away What it Means to Walk Away When to Walk Away Ways Not to Walk Away How to Walk Away Without Them Knowing What you Are Doing The Major Mistakes When Getting Back Out There The Negatives That Come From Making These Mistakes The True Reason for Getting Back Out There Steps to Get Back Out There The Right Way How to Get Your Power Back The biggest mistakes that people make when the person starts chasing. The signs that someone is trying to come back and chase you How to know if they are serious about the things they tell you To set boundaries and secure follow through to avoid a return to the status quo. Under what circumstances you must be willing to move on if necessary.
You just need to stop loving someone who doesn't want you because they can only destroy your self-esteem. Don't punish yourself by chasing unworthy people but instead focus on improving yourself. In that way, you will attract the person that's right for you.
As Jane said, easier said than done, but still good advice and it helps me to keep reminding myself of this. It hurts to let go, but it hurts even more to try and hold on to someone who doesn't want you.
My opinion in every relationship there is always that 1 person that loves the other person the most. when you trying to get over someone you truly love you have to pray and stay focus and stay busy. soul ties between 2 people are real. when you fall in love with someone it's like they get in your spirit and soul you have to pray and break the soul ties that bind you to that person. true love is deeper than emotions and feelings......Soul Ties are real......
Ms Lady Amen u are so right I broke soul ties with my child's father now I'm working on breaking a even stronger one with my ex I'm like wow! I'm really trying to shake this brotha off me.
Wouldnt i look obsessive over a year later contacting him to get it all out of my system??? Especially when there is no contact......? Please help, how do i fully move on??
@@happythoughts505 Allow yourself to feel what you feel and then release it. You don't need to call him to get him out of your system. Just reflect on what happened, the things you said and did, what he's said and done and how it ended. I'm sure you'll uncover some realizations that will help you see the lessons as well as the blessings! Then you can choose better next time. 💖✌😇
The best way to stop loving someone who does not want you is by first accepting that you both were NOT compatible. Second, by keeping yourself busy working out, feeling better, creating a healthy self esteem, having fun with hobbies, friends or alone. And third, by reading or listening to self help books. Such as "The Power of Now" by Eckart Tolle. I have a video in my channel about it.
I disagree with "tossing it back". you come off as a stalker-crazy ex. just walk away and go crazy in private. workout and get that anger\frustration out. u win because u release endorphins and you would look hot for the next guy. plus itll fuck with ur exes head u moved on so quick.
Yess it I agree with you. Bt you always feel like getting even, or take revenge, bcoz if u see them happy, that mks u even more unhappy..! How to overcome that ??? Ur thghts ??
It's like withdrawing from coke. It's scientifically proven. Love is like a drug. And when you go through a break up its like going through a withdrawal
So true- i broke up with him because i couldn't do it anymore , i felt strong when i did it - now i feel like the withdrawal is very hard , the first day was the hardest, and now it feel better then yesterday, i left him , because it was right to do , it just don't feel good now , and he hasn't call at all -
What I found out recently is that these types of scum, no matter the age is that they DO know what they're doing. They know you miss them, message, call and basically chase them or obsess etc. Its a massive ego boost for the guy as he knows youll akways be a fall back option. When hes missing the sex or unable go get ut anywhere else or from his first choice anymore... He starts messaging and calling, asking to show up for some Netflix and "chill" booty really...
So proud of myself because I allowed myself to go on the emotional coaster and I'm healed and a stronger person. I even moved back with in my parents for a year. Your video is confirmation to me. Healing is a choice. Thank you for sharing this wisdom to others. People please take this advice! It's a natural, health process!
I definitely agree with "riding the roller coaster," but I disagree with involving the other person. It's your process, not theirs. The sadness, loneliness, anger, etc. should be allowed free play in your emotions, without suppression. But it's not fair to use your ex for that. Besides, if they're smart, they'll block you completely like I did to my ex. It all calms down over time.
Exactly..I had to learn he no longer CARES about my feelings so definitely not my tears..if I had to cry, I had to learn to cry ALONE ..now Im placing mental defense mechanisms to change how I feel completely to not even cry at all or if I feel like I may I just hurry up and repeat the defense which does fight my battle of holding back the tears..change what made me relive the memory to begin with and refocus me on me...rebalance myself..and continue on my path..any human who will hurt you enough to cause tears and in the same breath not even give a damn is not worth our feelings..thoughts...tears..heart.. energy..time..etc...to begin with..get you a new shovel put em in the dirt!...😎
Agree with you 100% It actually contradicts everything learned and said about the no contact rule that is about going back to what makes you happy, healing with your own resources and support system , breath, and take the high road while you do all that. I would never leave a partner that left and saw no value on me to see me calling them desperate and out of my mind. There are moments to do that without suppressing and without calling the person. You can write a letter you never give or write in a journal. You vent with your friends as much as you need to but, you never invade their space to vent when emotions are high. There will always be a time to talk in the future if is for both to see each other again and if not, then there’s no reason for them to even know. They didn’t care anyways.
CreationAffects Creation agree. People always say to cry it out, but with time you learn that is not even healthy nor necessary. I actually get literally sick with a really bad cold if I spend time crying. I learned to go for walks, watch videos, Listen to music, talk to myself and write. I don’t contact the person not even to retrieve my stuff or give back anything and focus on work and good friends that love me. I recovered better and faster and the partner has always been back in no time to find me in my healthier glorious physical and mental state.
There are 2 types of love. There's a Godly love and a flesh love. The Godly love is the only one that will last a lifetime. If you don't understand what I'm talking about I can explain further.
Its really hard when someone who doesn't want you like you freaking out in pain. The best thing to do is love yourself, forget him/her do make things that will make you happy, hangout and enjoy with your friends.
The way to get over someone you love but the person don't feel the same with you is to just keep yourself busy and do something different here and there and when you got alone time and from there your mind will start to think about it so you cut it off and try to not care anymore cause it all takes time. That's what I'm doing and I'm feeling okay. But it's recent. So it all depends on time. Even if it hurts
I like the transference approach. However, if the person has gone through this process and replaced you with someone else,it will make their relationship stronger and piss you off more. I believe no contact is best in that situation I described but venting is good. Having friends that will tell you the truth and not what you want to hear will help cure your "cold",but more importantly being honest with yourself about why you want this person. Marriages, IMO, are a bit different because it's more than a social contract. But no matter what type of relationship you have, you still have to let go of trying to plead your case to win. Chazz,said this before,the main reason why we can't let o is because you want to win. As I type these words,I'm preaching to myself lol ....good stuff Chazz.
You will probably get mad if they replace you with someone else but they're going to do that anyway and you're going to be mad. The whole point is to let them do all of the things that piss you off because that makes it even easier to move on. The key to all of this is doing it with no agenda other than moving on and getting over the other person. If you are thinking that any of this will win them over or get them back then it simply won't work. You can always win when you stop trying to beat the other person.
I understand your point but the problem with that is they will think you are crazy and it will confirm to them that they made the right decision by rejecting you. I say let it run its course but don't react in anger or cuss someone out. Lol
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Pulling me outta depression. I appreciate you and this. Having my girl leave me right before finals is making everything worse than it already was. She was my one escape for so long and with her gone shits just falling apart. But I got friends who can get me through this, who love me like a brother and I think that's the kind of love I need
Smh I have a virus I can't stop thinking of this dumb guy who doesn't even want me anymore smh. It's to the point where I turn down other new guys like I'm with that guy. It's disgusting
SAME HERE..!!! and not to mention, my ex had already moved on just days later too. Yet, even months after that my craZy sad ass acts like we're still together...😭💔🕳😞
I am glad I listened to this. I realized that I did say all that I wanted, but I still feel really sad after half a year now. I gym, I lost like 20lbs now. I don't want to bug my friends either but they have been so great. I didn't even go out with this lad but he led me on for a good year! I'm always honest and upfront (I don't like games) yet I fell for someone who is uncertain and always playing mind games. My sleep is a lot better though, but yeah if we let the brain think so much it eventually gets tiring. I do deserve a good person. I haven't been able to cut him out of my life, he made it really hard to. So I just kept him there, and now I just keep it there with no desire to message him. He messaged in Jan trying to be nice and I was like mmm...He tried messaging now after a month later about 50 shades of black and I was like in my mind "why can't you ask how are you"...and after a week I just said 'ok'. So now he has kept quiet since then. Now I am tired yup. I found that going to the opposite sex, all I end up doing is talking about this guy and situation. I find myself so hard to give my heart to anyone at the moment. I should be admiring that they like me...don't you just hate emotions people lol? 'I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back. But its not the end of the world'...I liked this quote and its on my WhatsApp. I don't care if he sees the message but I know I deserve better.
donnie baumgardner Hey, thank you for the concern. I am doing a lot better. I took my workouts to another level too and am building on it :). I still think very often as the whole ordeal really hit me hard. I don't talk about him to others now which is great. I haven't been able to delete him off (even though I should at some point). But I have remained quiet ever since that last text message. I meet guys and its very hard for me now to give myself completely. It was like the cherry on top basically haha...will take time but I am a lot better. I hope you get through too with your situation.
This is awesome! I took a "cut him & write" approach.... bc hearing his voice would still make me melt. Took a little time but it felt so good to be able to see him & "Walk on by". No "look backs"... 2 Notebooks later, I'm feeling new with thislife lesson LEARNED. No bitterness residue left.....
I just wanted to say that I'm currently going through a break up and I'd have really sleepless nights (kinda like now) and I would be emotionally unstable. I'm talking mad aggression, constant tears, uncontrollable thoughts and extremely high doubts. I needed answers on how to not feel this way again so I searched and came across this video. I've watched both videos and I can honestly say, I can finally sleep with a clear conscience. I don't even feel bad about my breakup like I did before because the advice you gave me was enough to just help me deal with my situation. Thank you so much and I'm most def subscribing because this was well needed.
Mr. Ellis, You've probably heard this from countless others at this point, but your advice on handling this situation is incredibly insightful. You're doing gods work lol. much love to you and yours.
I like this video, especially the part when you said that you should call them up and curse them out and as soon as they become drawn into the conversation then just hang up. That just seems so funny. LOL
This has always been my approach and people would always think I was crazy for going about it this way. They would say you are showing him too much etc, etc. I would tell them it doesn't matter because these are my true feelings let him or them think whatever they want because when I'm done...I'm done and I will be able to move completely forward without any regret just some valuable lessons learned. I don't do well with repressing my emotions...I just don't. By the way just found you on the web and I love your advice....stay true.
I mean honestly I've been letting all my emotions out and it actually does help me. He keeps calling me crazy but yet hasn't blocked me and still pick up the phone. So yep until I've completely said all I have to say you're gonna keep hearing my mouth because it makes me feel better😊
He’s right, it’s so easy to tell someone you have feelings for them and so forth and ride that roller coaster and be honest, move on and don’t hurt anymore. What good is someone who doesn’t love you back? Let go.
I just want to thank you so much I was really going through a tough breakup with my ex 2 years ago. I'm the type who loves deeply and not easy for me to forget. I came across your videos on my way to NYC visiting my mom it was very emotional I was watching you on the greyhound and crying but it felt so good listening to you! I need it help/ advice from a male point of view. I came across this video again today and I had a flashback ❤🙌 thank you you're right its a disease and I survived it.
Wow I truly needed to hear this. I’m going through this now, basically forcing myself in his presence. As soon as the disease is gone then I will be able to move forward ! Thank you so much for helping me
Omgg this was great!! :D i thought I was literally losing my shit, calling up my ex and trashing like a crazy person. He kept answering and talking back, but last time I went for a rant he snapped and blocked me. 🙃 and funny thing is, I do feel like that shit is done now, I've said everything and now the door is closed for good. And honestly I couldn't care less how crazy he thinks I am. At least i'm done. Thanks for the vid, loooved it!!
+C tanum I'm so sorry for you. And feeling like you want him back after everything his done to you, totally normal. But when you get those feelings, try to remember that even if he came back, you probably wouldn't feel any better or happier. He is still a cheater, liar who did you wrong. And you and your girls deserve better! I know it hurts like hell, and maybe now you can't see it yet, but you are better off without him.
I think what hurt the most was the fact. I went through a rough time, giving long deep thought. Went into long construction of myself and coming out a better person. And the fact when I literately spilled my heart, told her how I felt, why, and where I wanted to stand with her, she called me a lair, and that we meant nothing. Yet I cherished every moment I spent with her, like a scripture and dissecting it piece my piece.. Remember even the littlest things that meant a great deal to me. Even when she hurt me with the words she said, I forgave her. Cause I loved the hell out of her. And after that tell, she left. Now, she crosses my thoughts from time to time. I don't fight that anymore, I just let it go through me and live on. I still love her but from a distance. She was really my first.. True.. Raw.. Instance love. That I pray I will experience again someday.
askchazzellis So I took your advice and it ended up bringing us closer. He told me he was just scared of what he was feeling and he told me he was going to try harder because he doesn't want to lose me and he told me he loved me for the first time. (More like a hundred times now. Lol) I guess I just need to stop worrying about what ifs and just say how I feel. Thank you.
I KNEW I WAS RIGHT WHEN EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY! And it works!! He started to fall for me as I was getting over it him. Problem is, you can't get rid of them once you do this..
How long after the break up was it that you told him as he realized? With my ex, I found out he was cheating on me and did me so wrong and lied continuously to me throughout the whole relationship, despite everything I went through for him. I was so hurt a couple days later once he stopped ignoring me, bc he was just "busy," he came a dumped me saying we'd be better as friends. I was so hurt I never said anything, and I acted ok. I didn't say much and I basically walked away. He officially started dating the new girl just a couple days later.. I swear I've never seen him so happy. 💔 And it's bullshit. It's been 5 months and I'm still not over it. I hate myself. And I hate him. Why wasn't I good enough!? Y wasn't I smart enough?.. Why didn't I confront him so at least he could feel bad hopefully. So at least he could see the great wron he's done and maybe even love me again. I don't even know why he chose to end thugs. Why he chose to lie. This is the same guy who told me he wanted to marry me and who put me through so much bs. I just wish I knew what happened? Why he changed and wtf he would have zero mercy on me? Why he would do that to me and feel content "knowing" he "got away with it." 💔💔😭😞
You're right !!! I always express and then the feelings disapear if the guy doesn't care. It's nice to express, its a way to free your mind and heart and move on
Davion Battle start loving yourself more than how you love this person, know your worth, you cant force anyone to love you. Love should be organic not artificial.
You NAILED it 👍 it's when they are nice and that's made me realise why I'm struggling to move on. Also interesting is your explanation of what causes us to be obsessed with someone 👏
Chaz, thanks for your advice. I recently did something like this and all I can say is that it works. Luckily, this guy had it coming and he totally deserved it. He just wouldn't leave me alone. So at every opportunity, I let him know how much I disliked him and how terrible he was to me in the past. He stopped calling and I stopped caring. I could careless if I ever speak to him again. Thanks!!!!
I, too, understand, Tim about 26 years. We were married for 26 years. He was verbally abusive because I could no longer work as hard as I did in the early years. I begged him to sell the house because we didn't need such a large house anymore but he refused. We've been divorced for 6 months and he has already moved somebody into the home that we built from the ground up....How can he mistreat me all that time, only because he was the only one working and move somebody into our home so fast???Rebound; but the hurting thing is I know he still loves me but is angry because I was awarded a settlement but he got to keep the house. So moving on after almost 3 decades is not something that can be done easily. Payback is going to be a dog because God is not pleased with what he did to me or how he's living now.
I do not agree with some of your advice. It'll be hard but end all contact and baby step forward. Spend time talking and chillin' with true friends. GET OUT and consume your time embracing your hobbies. Time is your best friend in the healing process, allowing you to move on slowly and eventually smile from the heart, enjoy life, and live life fully again. Your newfound happiness and love for life is "success" and your success is by far your best revenge.
I think what works is writing your feelings and thoughts in a letter that you don't send. It avoids rehashing. Changing environment is great, move somewhere else works the best. Also as it's so easy, girls should get a rebound, it will help a lot. I had unfinished business with a guy before, it took me about two years to stop checking every day his social media accounts. Having a rebound guy helped me a lot during the first period after the breakup.
This is the most unique advice compared to what everyone else is saying lol. I agree that one must let out those toxic emotions to prevent baggage and bitterness while in the stage of heal. Whatever works for you to gain closure from a heartbreak do it to free yourself from that emotional bondage
Now this @12:00 sounds good and tempting, but this can easily be called stalking or even harassment. It may feel good in the moment, but you also get the reputation of being the "crazy ex".
Always Learnin' my Ex is a Narcissistic Abuser! No contact is always best because they NEVER REALLY LOVED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE! IT WAS ALL ILLUSION THEY ARE VERY CALCULATING AND VICIOUS AND I LOVED HIM ENOUGH TO MARRY HIM AND GIVE MY COMPLETE SELF TO HIM, BUT HE JUST SAW A VERY VULNERABLE SOURCE OF SUPPLY!! HOW DO I LET GO OF HIM HES STARTING TO MIND FUCK ME AGAIN!! ITS NOT JUST THAT EASY TO STOP LOVING THE ILLUSION THEY STARTED OUT AS AND THE HURT THEY INFLICTED ON ME THE CHEATING REALIZING HE NEVER WAS WHO I THOUGHT PERIOD!! SO WHY THE FUCK CANT I LET GO??
Great advice! Wish someone had broken it down like this sooner....would have saved me tons of emotional heartache and probably helped me to move on WAY sooner than I did. 😊😊😊👌
Thank you Chazz. Liked the other video pt.1 It gave good advice. Hopefully it isn't anything like heartbreak. You are so funny. You had me busting up laughing with the things you say in so many of your videos. You are out of line for suggesting to call and give all your frustration to them by sending them on the emotional roller coaster you've been on, but I love it. Thank you. Yes, your advise is so attainable and welcomed.
I love you chazzellis, you give the most helpful advice and put things our minds that we wouldn't even wonder about...thank you. You are very helpful..
Pause.... 3 nd some minutes into listening to your video I'm like this man is just over the top smart!!! I love the way you explain using the cold symptoms... Lol keep up the great work. Blessings
I very agree with your advice. I do weird things you mentioned about, the one that people will tell me "don't do that, just go away, and be crazy in private, etc." But the truth is, I got all the negative emotions come out, so no more bad emotions left in me, because I don't supress them. Most other people, they "forgive and forget", but they suppress that emotions and in lieu of "forgive and forget", they often unconciously express their bad emotions to their loved ones. So it is like flu virus spreading to other people. The embarassing thing, for me, it takes 6-7 years to run over its course. Other people only 2-3 years in max. But hey, everybody is different.
u can do it...trust me iv been through this i said noway i cannot i thought about crazy things but finally and through time i could get out of that nightmare
I just want you to know mate....even tho you might never get round to reading this.....you are sound as fook. Could listen to you all day mate. Good delivery. real
Stay strong my people it’s been a year and a half and I still find myself struggling forcing myself to stop loving someone. At first I thought something was wrong with me but then you’ll end up finding out there’s is nothing wrong with us it’s just gonna be a lot harder in us loving people even if they did you dirty .
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Ummm I don’t think you should be reaching out to the person every time your emotions change. You don’t actually need that person for closure and reaching out to them is just going to prolong the process of healing and may cause you even more pain than you’re already in. I think no contact or limited contact is better while you work your emotions out on your own, with friends or with a therapist.
Calling them to get a negative reaction is commonly what people with border line personality disorder. Don't lower your energy to this level. Instead, send them love , good wishes and intent. When you do this, your attachment to them will ease and you'll be able to form better relationships in the future instead of carrying negative baggage from your last one. Become asymptomatic of previous relationships that way you don't form new ones with bruises still all over you.
Omg this video is amazing I literally just broke it off with someone today after 3 yrs. I was feeling so bitter sweet it was sad n tough but then it felt good that the BS was over. this video has just confirmed everything I was thinking. I needed this the realness from someone else that can explain why I been tripping lol thank you!!!
I had to do no contact bc I was causing them headache, disrupting their healing n new relationship I knew nothing about, being ignored, disrespected & kept acting out of completely out of character 😔 but your suggestions are hilarious and I appreciate you advocating embracing the rollercoaster n analogy to a cold. Darkest time of my life and your take made me smile. TY
$20 off!!! Get the How to Get Them to Chase You Masterclass for $20 off! This deal can’t be beat! thechazzellisproject.com/how-to-get-them-to-chase-you-masterclass/.
USE COUPON CODE: 20FORME
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When you watch How to Get Them to Chase You You will learn:
Why You Need to Walk Away
What it Means to Walk Away
When to Walk Away
Ways Not to Walk Away
How to Walk Away Without Them Knowing What you Are Doing
The Major Mistakes When Getting Back Out There
The Negatives That Come From Making These Mistakes
The True Reason for Getting Back Out There
Steps to Get Back Out There The Right Way
How to Get Your Power Back
The biggest mistakes that people make when the person starts chasing.
The signs that someone is trying to come back and chase you
How to know if they are serious about the things they tell you
To set boundaries and secure follow through to avoid a return to the status quo.
Under what circumstances you must be willing to move on if necessary.
You just need to stop loving someone who doesn't want you because they can only destroy your self-esteem. Don't punish yourself by chasing unworthy people but instead focus on improving yourself. In that way, you will attract the person that's right for you.
Easier said than done!! But so true thanks....
As Jane said, easier said than done, but still good advice and it helps me to keep reminding myself of this. It hurts to let go, but it hurts even more to try and hold on to someone who doesn't want you.
Thank you 🙏🏻
Not always that easy !!!
Performancecyclespecialties Crozon No, indeed. You just have to have faith in time, and hang in there. Things do get better over time.
"Unfinished business is the leading cause of obsessions" you're completely right!!
My opinion in every relationship there is always that 1 person that loves the other person the most. when you trying to get over someone you truly love you have to pray and stay focus and stay busy. soul ties between 2 people are real. when you fall in love with someone it's like they get in your spirit and soul you have to pray and break the soul ties that bind you to that person. true love is deeper than emotions and feelings......Soul Ties are real......
Ms Lady Amen u are so right I broke soul ties with my child's father now I'm working on breaking a even stronger one with my ex I'm like wow! I'm really trying to shake this brotha off me.
Wouldnt i look obsessive over a year later contacting him to get it all out of my system??? Especially when there is no contact......? Please help, how do i fully move on??
@@happythoughts505 Allow yourself to feel what you feel and then release it. You don't need to call him to get him out of your system. Just reflect on what happened, the things you said and did, what he's said and done and how it ended. I'm sure you'll uncover some realizations that will help you see the lessons as well as the blessings! Then you can choose better next time. 💖✌😇
@@administrativeprofessionalsllc Yes l agree!!!!
Thank you for understanding my pain
Stalking his new girlfriend and harrassing him will not help you heal. If he doesn't want to be with you, you cannot force him. Move on
The best way to stop loving someone who does not want you is by first accepting that you both were NOT compatible. Second, by keeping yourself busy working out, feeling better, creating a healthy self esteem, having fun with hobbies, friends or alone. And third, by reading or listening to self help books. Such as "The Power of Now" by Eckart Tolle. I have a video in my channel about it.
Alfe Corona those are great thoughts! what is the book all about?
Facts!🙌💗
Good advice..ur comment is very helpful as i am going thru this now
none of it worked
I disagree with "tossing it back". you come off as a stalker-crazy ex. just walk away and go crazy in private. workout and get that anger\frustration out. u win because u release endorphins and you would look hot for the next guy. plus itll fuck with ur exes head u moved on so quick.
To be honest, it doesn't work if the one you want is your EX. :)
+thiery572 ...pow! Exactly
Yess it I agree with you.
Bt you always feel like getting even, or take revenge, bcoz if u see them happy, that mks u even more unhappy..!
How to overcome that ???
Ur thghts ??
It's like withdrawing from coke. It's scientifically proven. Love is like a drug. And when you go through a break up its like going through a withdrawal
Ivanna Alarcon it’s like cocaine, but much, much worse. It takes me about 8 years for me to get over a serious breakup. Its just such a long time
So true- i broke up with him because i couldn't do it anymore , i felt strong when i did it - now i feel like the withdrawal is very hard , the first day was the hardest, and now it feel better then yesterday, i left him , because it was right to do , it just don't feel good now , and he hasn't call at all -
I can't letting someone keep coming and going out my life playing games with my heart
What I found out recently is that these types of scum, no matter the age is that they DO know what they're doing. They know you miss them, message, call and basically chase them or obsess etc. Its a massive ego boost for the guy as he knows youll akways be a fall back option. When hes missing the sex or unable go get ut anywhere else or from his first choice anymore... He starts messaging and calling, asking to show up for some Netflix and "chill" booty really...
So proud of myself because I allowed myself to go on the emotional coaster and I'm healed and a stronger person. I even moved back with in my parents for a year. Your video is confirmation to me. Healing is a choice.
Thank you for sharing this wisdom to others. People please take this advice! It's a natural, health process!
I definitely agree with "riding the roller coaster," but I disagree with involving the other person. It's your process, not theirs. The sadness, loneliness, anger, etc. should be allowed free play in your emotions, without suppression. But it's not fair to use your ex for that. Besides, if they're smart, they'll block you completely like I did to my ex. It all calms down over time.
Raven Burnes Best comment I've read so far, so true
Exactly..I had to learn he no longer CARES about my feelings so definitely not my tears..if I had to cry, I had to learn to cry ALONE ..now Im placing mental defense mechanisms to change how I feel completely to not even cry at all or if I feel like I may I just hurry up and repeat the defense which does fight my battle of holding back the tears..change what made me relive the memory to begin with and refocus me on me...rebalance myself..and continue on my path..any human who will hurt you enough to cause tears and in the same breath not even give a damn is not worth our feelings..thoughts...tears..heart..
energy..time..etc...to begin with..get you a new shovel put em in the dirt!...😎
Agree with you 100% It actually contradicts everything learned and said about the no contact rule that is about going back to what makes you happy, healing with your own resources and support system , breath, and take the high road while you do all that. I would never leave a partner that left and saw no value on me to see me calling them desperate and out of my mind. There are moments to do that without suppressing and without calling the person. You can write a letter you never give or write in a journal. You vent with your friends as much as you need to but, you never invade their space to vent when emotions are high. There will always be a time to talk in the future if is for both to see each other again and if not, then there’s no reason for them to even know. They didn’t care anyways.
CreationAffects Creation agree. People always say to cry it out, but with time you learn that is not even healthy nor necessary. I actually get literally sick with a really bad cold if I spend time crying. I learned to go for walks, watch videos,
Listen to music, talk to myself and write. I don’t contact the person not even to retrieve my stuff or give back anything and focus on work and good friends that love me. I recovered better and faster and the partner has always been back in no time to find me in my healthier glorious physical and mental state.
There are 2 types of love. There's a Godly love and a flesh love. The Godly love is the only one that will last a lifetime. If you don't understand what I'm talking about I can explain further.
You have to share the same values and faith or the relationship will never work. That saying opposites attract is a lie and never works!
So true
You should have your own talk show.
I agree..
Its really hard when someone who doesn't want you like you freaking out in pain. The best thing to do is love yourself, forget him/her do make things that will make you happy, hangout and enjoy with your friends.
With if u got involved with the family . Mom,etc been trying but dont want to hurt moms feelings of not coming around
The way to get over someone you love but the person don't feel the same with you is to just keep yourself busy and do something different here and there and when you got alone time and from there your mind will start to think about it so you cut it off and try to not care anymore cause it all takes time. That's what I'm doing and I'm feeling okay. But it's recent. So it all depends on time. Even if it hurts
I like the transference approach. However, if the person has gone through this process and replaced you with someone else,it will make their relationship stronger and piss you off more. I believe no contact is best in that situation I described but venting is good. Having friends that will tell you the truth and not what you want to hear will help cure your "cold",but more importantly being honest with yourself about why you want this person. Marriages, IMO, are a bit different because it's more than a social contract. But no matter what type of relationship you have, you still have to let go of trying to plead your case to win. Chazz,said this before,the main reason why we can't let o is because you want to win. As I type these words,I'm preaching to myself lol ....good stuff Chazz.
You will probably get mad if they replace you with someone else but they're going to do that anyway and you're going to be mad. The whole point is to let them do all of the things that piss you off because that makes it even easier to move on. The key to all of this is doing it with no agenda other than moving on and getting over the other person. If you are thinking that any of this will win them over or get them back then it simply won't work. You can always win when you stop trying to beat the other person.
I here yah!!!!
What if they dont answer when you just pour everything out on them? You end up feeling worse than when u started
Same thing happened to me
In such a case I still feel a little better. But I block them after I dump on them so I will never know.
raya barbiedoll text
Yesssss
Wow me too complete silent treatment everytime
I understand your point but the problem with that is they will think you are crazy and it will confirm to them that they made the right decision by rejecting you. I say let it run its course but don't react in anger or cuss someone out. Lol
this guy is hilarious....:)
"what does it hurt you to call them and talk shit... stay legal! stay legal!"
"but they don't like you so why not" lmao!
💝NEVER !!! WANT !!! SOMEONE !!!
WHO...DOES...NOT !!!! WANT !!! U !!!
DO..NOT..CALL....THEM !!!!
DO..NOT...TEXT... THEM !!!!
DO..NOT...GO...NEAR...THEM !!!!
MOVE...ON !!!!💝
💯......it's better to stay away!!!
@@umekaclark8866 😂😂😂
YES !!!! IT....IS !!!!!
STAY...FAR !!!!!!!! FAR !!!!!!!!
AWAY !!!!! FROM !!! THEM !!!!
6 years later, this is exactly what I needed reassurance on. This is mad good advice. Perfect for the beginning of heartbreak.
this is how i got my ex back.After a year of Broken marriage, my lover left me with one kid, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down . Thanks to a spell caster called Dr OLOWO which i met online who brought my Lover back to me. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I came across several of testimonies about Dr OLOWO Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,and other sickness, you can text him on whtzap 📥📥📥💟
🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷🇱🇷
+ 2 3 4 8 0 8 9 3 3 9 0 4 2 🖤🖤💜
Pulling me outta depression. I appreciate you and this. Having my girl leave me right before finals is making everything worse than it already was. She was my one escape for so long and with her gone shits just falling apart. But I got friends who can get me through this, who love me like a brother and I think that's the kind of love I need
Smh I have a virus I can't stop thinking of this dumb guy who doesn't even want me anymore smh. It's to the point where I turn down other new guys like I'm with that guy. It's disgusting
SAME HERE..!!! and not to mention, my ex had already moved on just days later too. Yet, even months after that my craZy sad ass acts like we're still together...😭💔🕳😞
Same here!!
Bianca Johnson me too Bianca! 😊
How did it end for you guys? My ex told me three months ago he didn't love me anymore and I'm still not able to move on :(
You are not alone.
I am glad I listened to this. I realized that I did say all that I wanted, but I still feel really sad after half a year now. I gym, I lost like 20lbs now. I don't want to bug my friends either but they have been so great. I didn't even go out with this lad but he led me on for a good year! I'm always honest and upfront (I don't like games) yet I fell for someone who is uncertain and always playing mind games. My sleep is a lot better though, but yeah if we let the brain think so much it eventually gets tiring. I do deserve a good person. I haven't been able to cut him out of my life, he made it really hard to. So I just kept him there, and now I just keep it there with no desire to message him. He messaged in Jan trying to be nice and I was like mmm...He tried messaging now after a month later about 50 shades of black and I was like in my mind "why can't you ask how are you"...and after a week I just said 'ok'. So now he has kept quiet since then. Now I am tired yup.
I found that going to the opposite sex, all I end up doing is talking about this guy and situation. I find myself so hard to give my heart to anyone at the moment. I should be admiring that they like me...don't you just hate emotions people lol?
'I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them. I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back. But its not the end of the world'...I liked this quote and its on my WhatsApp. I don't care if he sees the message but I know I deserve better.
hope everything is good with you.. know the feeling..
donnie baumgardner
Hey, thank you for the concern. I am doing a lot better. I took my workouts to another level too and am building on it :). I still think very often as the whole ordeal really hit me hard. I don't talk about him to others now which is great. I haven't been able to delete him off (even though I should at some point). But I have remained quiet ever since that last text message. I meet guys and its very hard for me now to give myself completely. It was like the cherry on top basically haha...will take time but I am a lot better. I hope you get through too with your situation.
/
I am glad I saw your post. it's like u write a story of my life. it's nice to know I am not alone. Thanks
@sunethra I am currently going through the same situation you went through. I would like to know how did you overcome this.. can we talk please?
This is awesome! I took a "cut him & write" approach.... bc hearing his voice would still make me melt. Took a little time but it felt so good to be able to see him & "Walk on by". No "look backs"... 2 Notebooks later, I'm feeling new with thislife lesson LEARNED. No bitterness residue left.....
I just wanted to say that I'm currently going through a break up and I'd have really sleepless nights (kinda like now) and I would be emotionally unstable. I'm talking mad aggression, constant tears, uncontrollable thoughts and extremely high doubts. I needed answers on how to not feel this way again so I searched and came across this video. I've watched both videos and I can honestly say, I can finally sleep with a clear conscience. I don't even feel bad about my breakup like I did before because the advice you gave me was enough to just help me deal with my situation. Thank you so much and I'm most def subscribing because this was well needed.
hope you're better man.
Currently riding out this cold... More like the flu.
me too cant wait for mines to be over.
😂😂😂😂😂
Mr. Ellis, You've probably heard this from countless others at this point, but your advice on handling this situation is incredibly insightful. You're doing gods work lol. much love to you and yours.
I’m on the emotional rollercoaster rn 😂
I like this video, especially the part when you said that you should call them up and curse them out and as soon as they become drawn into the conversation then just hang up. That just seems so funny. LOL
It also works with texting.
This has always been my approach and people would always think I was crazy for going about it this way. They would say you are showing him too much etc, etc. I would tell them it doesn't matter because these are my true feelings let him or them think whatever they want because when I'm done...I'm done and I will be able to move completely forward without any regret just some valuable lessons learned. I don't do well with repressing my emotions...I just don't. By the way just found you on the web and I love your advice....stay true.
I mean honestly I've been letting all my emotions out and it actually does help me. He keeps calling me crazy but yet hasn't blocked me and still pick up the phone. So yep until I've completely said all I have to say you're gonna keep hearing my mouth because it makes me feel better😊
He’s right, it’s so easy to tell someone you have feelings for them and so forth and ride that roller coaster and be honest, move on and don’t hurt anymore. What good is someone who doesn’t love you back? Let go.
10 years later. I needed this
I just want to thank you so much I was really going through a tough breakup with my ex 2 years ago. I'm the type who loves deeply and not easy for me to forget. I came across your videos on my way to NYC visiting my mom it was very emotional I was watching you on the greyhound and crying but it felt so good listening to you! I need it help/ advice from a male point of view. I came across this video again today and I had a flashback ❤🙌 thank you you're right its a disease and I survived it.
Go on the emotional rollercoaster lmao I sure DID 😄😪😅
this won't work if the person has broken contact, i restrain from calling , hurtss a lot
I am a 43 yr old happily divorced female and been there done that and luved how you ask us to keep it legal;) good work on this topic mister
I like how you give practical wisdom and not a lot of cliches and stuffs.
Wow I truly needed to hear this. I’m going through this now, basically forcing myself in his presence. As soon as the disease is gone then I will be able to move forward ! Thank you so much for helping me
Omgg this was great!! :D i thought I was literally losing my shit, calling up my ex and trashing like a crazy person. He kept answering and talking back, but last time I went for a rant he snapped and blocked me. 🙃 and funny thing is, I do feel like that shit is done now, I've said everything and now the door is closed for good. And honestly I couldn't care less how crazy he thinks I am. At least i'm done. Thanks for the vid, loooved it!!
+C tanum I'm so sorry for you. And feeling like you want him back after everything his done to you, totally normal. But when you get those feelings, try to remember that even if he came back, you probably wouldn't feel any better or happier. He is still a cheater, liar who did you wrong. And you and your girls deserve better! I know it hurts like hell, and maybe now you can't see it yet, but you are better off without him.
hope you're better
Mira Lehtinen cool
Mira Lehtinen
I think what hurt the most was the fact. I went through a rough time, giving long deep thought. Went into long construction of myself and coming out a better person. And the fact when I literately spilled my heart, told her how I felt, why, and where I wanted to stand with her, she called me a lair, and that we meant nothing.
Yet I cherished every moment I spent with her, like a scripture and dissecting it piece my piece.. Remember even the littlest things that meant a great deal to me. Even when she hurt me with the words she said, I forgave her. Cause I loved the hell out of her. And after that tell, she left.
Now, she crosses my thoughts from time to time. I don't fight that anymore, I just let it go through me and live on. I still love her but from a distance. She was really my first.. True.. Raw.. Instance love. That I pray I will experience again someday.
same...😞
aw so sorry bro! going thru a rough time right now myself..its unbearable!
DngerBoom awww I pray that you and I also experience that beautiful, real love again.
This is the best advice I've ever heard for this type of relationship! Thank you so much! I can finally move forward with my life because of this.
this video didn't help me stop loving that person but it encouraged me to tell her how I feel thank you very much bro great vid
i feel you , the point is to try to move away really far away and make a new life and be creative😃😘
Love is toxic... Love is dangerous... If you let it be...
Riding it out.
No way I can call and talk crap. It made me laugh though! LOL
tcshy1903 lol me too! I wish I was that petty
I appreciate this video and it's exactly what I'm going through right now and I need to do this. Wish me luck...
Good luck but if you do everything on the vid you won't need it.
askchazzellis So I took your advice and it ended up bringing us closer. He told me he was just scared of what he was feeling and he told me he was going to try harder because he doesn't want to lose me and he told me he loved me for the first time. (More like a hundred times now. Lol) I guess I just need to stop worrying about what ifs and just say how I feel. Thank you.
stay legal! Lol this guy is great
Stay legal 😂😂😂 what you say it's true I agree!! Love it nothing like being genuine, suppression is a torture!!
You are do right! Transferring the negative energy back to them works like a charm!
I KNEW I WAS RIGHT WHEN EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY! And it works!! He started to fall for me as I was getting over it him. Problem is, you can't get rid of them once you do this..
Arian Munnerlyn That I can agree with, I'm going through that right now, I moved on, but he now realized what he did. Now he loves me
How long after the break up was it that you told him as he realized? With my ex, I found out he was cheating on me and did me so wrong and lied continuously to me throughout the whole relationship, despite everything I went through for him. I was so hurt a couple days later once he stopped ignoring me, bc he was just "busy," he came a dumped me saying we'd be better as friends. I was so hurt I never said anything, and I acted ok. I didn't say much and I basically walked away. He officially started dating the new girl just a couple days later.. I swear I've never seen him so happy. 💔 And it's bullshit. It's been 5 months and I'm still not over it. I hate myself. And I hate him. Why wasn't I good enough!? Y wasn't I smart enough?.. Why didn't I confront him so at least he could feel bad hopefully. So at least he could see the great wron he's done and maybe even love me again. I don't even know why he chose to end thugs. Why he chose to lie. This is the same guy who told me he wanted to marry me and who put me through so much bs. I just wish I knew what happened? Why he changed and wtf he would have zero mercy on me? Why he would do that to me and feel content "knowing" he "got away with it." 💔💔😭😞
M B are you ok now 2 years later?
Omg that donut part has me in tears 😂😂😂
You're right !!! I always express and then the feelings disapear if the guy doesn't care. It's nice to express, its a way to free your mind and heart and move on
I laughed so much through out this video. YOU ARE AN ANGEL SENT MY WAY! WooooooooW 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 thank you for this video!
Absolutely shattered, glad I found this.
Thanks Chaz. My feelings are so strong for this person. I haven't felt this way in a long time. How do I detach?
Davion Battle start loving yourself more than how you love this person, know your worth, you cant force anyone to love you. Love should be organic not artificial.
Davion Battle by putting yourself first it's there loss
RUN
You NAILED it 👍 it's when they are nice and that's made me realise why I'm struggling to move on.
Also interesting is your explanation of what causes us to be obsessed with someone 👏
what ur saying makes a lot of sense but what if the person you want to stop loving is your friend
Beautiful man bro. Keep on keeping on. 🙏🏻
I love it f u anyways I love him regardless and don't wanna disrespect him. Even though he broke my heart I do send him loving thoughts.
The best real video I have ever watched. I laughed so hard. Love this advice. Lol. Thank you!
Never ever call back to complete the unfinished business, its like a vicious circle tht never ends, stay away n train ur brain to stay tht way
Chaz, thanks for your advice. I recently did something like this and all I can say is that it works. Luckily, this guy had it coming and he totally deserved it. He just wouldn't leave me alone. So at every opportunity, I let him know how much I disliked him and how terrible he was to me in the past. He stopped calling and I stopped caring. I could careless if I ever speak to him again. Thanks!!!!
I, too, understand, Tim about 26 years. We were married for 26 years. He was verbally abusive because I could no longer work as hard as I did in the early years. I begged him to sell the house because we didn't need such a large house anymore but he refused. We've been divorced for 6 months and he has already moved somebody into the home that we built from the ground up....How can he mistreat me all that time, only because he was the only one working and move somebody into our home so fast???Rebound; but the hurting thing is I know he still loves me but is angry because I was awarded a settlement but he got to keep the house. So moving on after almost 3 decades is not something that can be done easily. Payback is going to be a dog because God is not pleased with what he did to me or how he's living now.
Good stuff....and came rightvon time
Thanks my man.
STRANGE CHAZ, I GAVE YOU THE BEST COMPLIMENT AND YOU THANKED A MAN AND NOT ME.??
I do not agree with some of your advice. It'll be hard but end all contact and baby step forward. Spend time talking and chillin' with true friends. GET OUT and consume your time embracing your hobbies. Time is your best friend in the healing process, allowing you to move on slowly and eventually smile from the heart, enjoy life, and live life fully again. Your newfound happiness and love for life is "success" and your success is by far your best revenge.
I think what works is writing your feelings and thoughts in a letter that you don't send. It avoids rehashing. Changing environment is great, move somewhere else works the best. Also as it's so easy, girls should get a rebound, it will help a lot. I had unfinished business with a guy before, it took me about two years to stop checking every day his social media accounts. Having a rebound guy helped me a lot during the first period after the breakup.
This is the most unique advice compared to what everyone else is saying lol. I agree that one must let out those toxic emotions to prevent baggage and bitterness while in the stage of heal. Whatever works for you to gain closure from a heartbreak do it to free yourself from that emotional bondage
Now this @12:00 sounds good and tempting, but this can easily be called stalking or even harassment. It may feel good in the moment, but you also get the reputation of being the "crazy ex".
Crazzy ex huh
Always Learnin' my Ex is a Narcissistic Abuser! No contact is always best because they NEVER REALLY LOVED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE! IT WAS ALL ILLUSION THEY ARE VERY CALCULATING AND VICIOUS AND I LOVED HIM ENOUGH TO MARRY HIM AND GIVE MY COMPLETE SELF TO HIM, BUT HE JUST SAW A VERY VULNERABLE SOURCE OF SUPPLY!! HOW DO I LET GO OF HIM HES STARTING TO MIND FUCK ME AGAIN!! ITS NOT JUST THAT EASY TO STOP LOVING THE ILLUSION THEY STARTED OUT AS AND THE HURT THEY INFLICTED ON ME THE CHEATING REALIZING HE NEVER WAS WHO I THOUGHT PERIOD!! SO WHY THE FUCK CANT I LET GO??
thank you. I needed this. my fiance doesn't love me any more and is basically just staying with me because I love him.. It's entirely too toxic
Holly shit. The things he says are so true. No one has ever given advice like this. THANKS!!!
Dopest advice ever!I must have absorbed the info!I have done all these steps!!Thanks
Chazz,you're awesome. Your advice is always on point! Subscribed
This is some of the best advice I have found, and trust and believe I have really been searching. Thank you!
Great advice! Wish someone had broken it down like this sooner....would have saved me tons of emotional heartache and probably helped me to move on WAY sooner than I did. 😊😊😊👌
Thank you Chazz. Liked the other video pt.1 It gave good advice. Hopefully it isn't anything like heartbreak. You are so funny. You had me busting up laughing with the things you say in so many of your videos. You are out of line for suggesting to call and give all your frustration to them by sending them on the emotional roller coaster you've been on, but I love it. Thank you. Yes, your advise is so attainable and welcomed.
I love you chazzellis, you give the most helpful advice and put things our minds that we wouldn't even wonder about...thank you. You are very helpful..
Pause.... 3 nd some minutes into listening to your video I'm like this man is just over the top smart!!! I love the way you explain using the cold symptoms... Lol keep up the great work. Blessings
Thank you for this video, very smart and helpful !
I very agree with your advice. I do weird things you mentioned about, the one that people will tell me "don't do that, just go away, and be crazy in private, etc." But the truth is, I got all the negative emotions come out, so no more bad emotions left in me, because I don't supress them. Most other people, they "forgive and forget", but they suppress that emotions and in lieu of "forgive and forget", they often unconciously express their bad emotions to their loved ones. So it is like flu virus spreading to other people.
The embarassing thing, for me, it takes 6-7 years to run over its course. Other people only 2-3 years in max. But hey, everybody is different.
balance, hop hop. :D
u can do it...trust me
iv been through this i said noway i cannot i thought about crazy things but finally and through time i could get out of that nightmare
imagine them taking a crap. or having diarrhea. its over John
LOL!!!!
Hey that’s actually good
theblueman57 😂😂😂
I just want you to know mate....even tho you might never get round to reading this.....you are sound as fook. Could listen to you all day mate. Good delivery. real
Can’t find the first one 🤷🏾♀️
Stay strong my people it’s been a year and a half and I still find myself struggling forcing myself to stop loving someone. At first I thought something was wrong with me but then you’ll end up finding out there’s is nothing wrong with us it’s just gonna be a lot harder in us loving people even if they did you dirty .
Hello friend ✌
I'm so excited to share this testimony on how i got my ex back after a divorce with the help of madamogaga
I never knew that i was going to get my ex back and my relationship restored until a friend of mine introduced me to madamogaga Here is her WhatsApp number:+ 2 3 4 7 0 1 4 5 6 9 2 6 2📩. Or Email 📧 her madamogaga@gmail.com..
Ummm I don’t think you should be reaching out to the person every time your emotions change. You don’t actually need that person for closure and reaching out to them is just going to prolong the process of healing and may cause you even more pain than you’re already in. I think no contact or limited contact is better while you work your emotions out on your own, with friends or with a therapist.
I'm going through a break up and your videos are making me laugh out loud in a good way...thanks for the vids
Lol! The donuts, I totally get it. I love you for it!!!!! 😜😍👍😅
Everyone's here for relationship but I'm here cuz of my best friend
Terrific advice. Thanks, Chaz. =)
you give the best advice you help me daily
I dealt with this problem more than 6 years, back then we had no internet and mobile phone to know all of this shit,today's kids are very lucky
thumbs up man, seriously kidna helped me out
It's important to process your emotions - and sometimes we have to learn how to make our own closure - so we can accept the situation and move on
Calling them to get a negative reaction is commonly what people with border line personality disorder. Don't lower your energy to this level. Instead, send them love , good wishes and intent. When you do this, your attachment to them will ease and you'll be able to form better relationships in the future instead of carrying negative baggage from your last one. Become asymptomatic of previous relationships that way you don't form new ones with bruises still all over you.
Omg this video is amazing I literally just broke it off with someone today after 3 yrs. I was feeling so bitter sweet it was sad n tough but then it felt good that the BS was over. this video has just confirmed everything I was thinking. I needed this the realness from someone else that can explain why I been tripping lol thank you!!!
Askchazz,you are a great teacher ..thank you from Sydney Australia. ...Maylene
I love you Chazz... Keep doing what you are doing!
I had to do no contact bc I was causing them headache, disrupting their healing n new relationship I knew nothing about, being ignored, disrespected & kept acting out of completely out of character 😔 but your suggestions are hilarious and I appreciate you advocating embracing the rollercoaster n analogy to a cold. Darkest time of my life and your take made me smile. TY