hey . mike I just happened. To run across your message like 2 or 3 days ago listeners To you said to myself right on .I figured you were a black comedian Out here on the web given it a whirl so I wanted to check you out man. Most the time. Black comedians are really funny and have a savvy of sliding real life into. Something funny and always with a white ribbing involved. It's genaric I guess .But. i really got into your insite look.thia guys cool .cpuple go by and get there's that dude gotta take listen I listened to 3 of your speak outs I just listened to this one .i think you are a really balanced. Hyman being. And envyyou
Chaz. I am a Psychotherapist and your assessment was brilliant and on point. I actually have been forwarding your link to some of my close female friends or former clients. Bravo my brother. God bless you. Keep of the good work.
You help me a lot with your advice. Im in the situation with this guy played my emotions. Now i will send him your wonderful message. God bless you always.
@@19.sciencetechnology30I am a counsellor and a psychotherapist and I talk all different kind of lingo/slang at times. it doesn't mean that I'm not professional
Stop trying to win ! Once you start accepting they got the best of you and let them win , you will realize that you never wanted them in the first place ... It's the answers that you were after not the person...stop playing along and gain your power back😌 don't waste your time and energy on players 👌✊✌️
Hmm, very true. It is defiantly the answers people are after. Even when they love the person, still once games start its answers they are then searching for.
Facts! 1000% Facts! If you took the time to step back and truly evaluate your desire to be with them, you will find out that the addiction was the chase not actual substance between you and he/she.
This is so true. I just went straight no contact with a guy who started playing games. He's been calling and texting at least every other day ever since. Right now I don't even want to talk to him. Don't know if I will. Right now I feel if he wants to prove he's real he has to find another way to contact me because I'm not feeling it at this time. I do miss him but he started the game and I'm not playing it with him.
This is so true.... you just made me realise I’m not really in love with him I’m just caught up in the game, I’m caught up trying to achieve the unobtainable cause if I get him I think I’d actually freak out lol he’s not even my type... 🤔
You have fully turned on the light switch on my brain. I'm the type of person that can get over shit quickly once I find the answer. This REALLY helped clarify certain things.
Me too. The look on their face, to see that their game does not work on you, is priceless. Once I notice they playing games. I don't even tell them I'm not gonna play their game, I just act like we never was trying to get to know each other in the first place. They be like, I thought we were in a relationship. I be like, oh my bad I thought we were just chilling as friends, I never looked at you like that. I have my eyes on someone else right now. If it don't work out, I'll let you know and we can see what we can do later. Later never comes. They stuck in the friend zone. They pay a lot to try and get your mind off the one they think you want. lol
Dang this guy narrated exactly what happened to me months ago. Chasing answers and wanting to know why he did what he did. I saw it coming but ignored it. But now i have learned.He speaks the truth.
You’re not chasing them, you’re chasing the answer. Damn that hit me and it’s so true. Mines a lil different. He confesses his love to me , how attractive he finds me, makes the plans, then bails. NEVER follows thru. I’ve been chasing the answer this whole time. I don’t even know if I like them because I don’t even know him that well. But I fell in love with the idea of him and the chase. I felt like there was a connection and he really liked me. But this shit needs to end. I have so much going on in my life and he has NOTHING. I think he is insecure and intimidated by me. A woman that has her own place, own style, determination and beauty.
Wow!!! I guess I am too honest and transparent. It's just not in me to "play games." I am always prepared to walk away! I prefer to use my universal energy to help others. Thanks Chaz!!
oh why why why is this so accurate?! My first problem was that I didn't really even like him in the first place! go with ur first mind..trust ur intuition! it may save a lot of nonsense
WOW this is 100% right. You really get it. At first I thought you were talking about a general game playing.... but after hearing the whole thing I see you are describing a sociopath. This applies to friendships and relationships. And you are right about not being so interested in the first place (that's the intuition telling us to stay away) and later chasing answers and truth.
I. NEEDED. THIS... Thank you so much.. my head is finally clear after all this time. and i realized it when you said "when you get him, you gon dump him anyways" lmfao.... that's when it hit me. thanks so much again.
This is so powerful and so simple when you finally decide in your heart to "stop playing the game and stop trying to win". Any power that person has over you just dissipates and peace flows over you.
This video is so fitting and ironic. Just two weeks before this was made, I met someone who fit this damn description completely. If only I had seen this video on the date it was posted, I would have saved myself so much heartbreak. Dammit man! Oh well, we live and we learn.....
The best advice I can give for this problem and most problems when it comes to relationships is to intellectually think about the situation. If you thought intellectually about the individual playing games from the get go and put your emotions in check, you would drop them in a heartbeat and never look back. There needs to be a balance in relationships, and one person putting in more effort than the other, confusion, miscommunication, etc all that needs to be resolved.
THIS IS ONE OF MY MANY FAVORITE VIDEOS. I was laughing standing up clapping to this because he has said nothing but the truth and this is what I needed to hear. I pray God continues to bless you, Chav & to continue shedding the light to women & men alike.
This has to be one of the best videos I have seen on relationships! Every single thing you said in this video is true! This happened to me over 6 months ago...and it ended because I finally realized how stupid I was being by trying to win a hopeless situation. I am literally in shock at how right you are! Keep posting videos like this, we need them! Love your work!
LOVE IT Chazz! "You could chase the answer FOREVER!" Here's what I heard & have been implementing...."If your house is on fire, do you need to know why? Or just get the h*** outta there?" I wrote that in my FIRST NYT bestseller! YOU are featured in my book! TY SO MUCH FOR ALL YOU DO!! (AND thanks for saying "be real with yourself" again! haha It's my FAVORITE!!) LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS ONE! TY!!
1. You're amazing 2. I learned something. To avoid heartbreak you have to talk to the person - that's the only way! Imagine somebody playing with you and at the end they aren't interested anymore while you're already deeply madly in love. Once you know what you're ON, how he sees you, you know what to do. Sure it might hurt a little(or a little more) but it sure will hurt a lot less then when you're in love and learn s/he doesn't love you back.. So to all the people out there, just breaking their asses over someone cause they don't know what they're on and they have mood swings because of that person(he seems cold,IM SAD..he seems interested IM HAPPY) listen YOU NEED TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON. Don't keep torturing yourself like that untill you've fallen for it, and then s/he may blow you off, now that's a real deal. Sure you can keep suspecting with love me not's, but you can and will be wrong, the only person that can tell you what's going on is the one you like/love. Grab some balls and do it, save yourself. Love can be dangerous.
It's difficult to find a guy who won't play games with you even how honest and loyal you are to him. You just have to give all your trust and it's up to him if he'll value that because there are no secrets that can be keep forever.
You forgot the low self esteem. When a person has low self esteem they will play games bc they don't feel up to par with what they think are your standards so they play with you.
This video explained to a TEE the situation that I found myself in and the foolery lasted over a year. The part where you talked not really wanting the person, but wanting to “win” the situation, really resonated with me. This video also helped me acknowledge that I wasn’t a victim in that situation as much as participant and see that the individual started from a place insecurity. I wish I would’ve seen this two months ago, but it has provided me with clarity to continue to move on. When he comes back, I’m just going to let him know up front. Thanks for this video! 🙏🏾🙏🏾
You talk so much sense!! This is EXACTLY what I'm going through. I can't believe how much you've opened my eyes to this kind of relationship. Wow, wow and wow!
Wow! You nailed it!!! Our intuition tells us when someone is playing games!! But the Chase is fun!! They Chase you in the beginning, then the games start slowly coming into play. Wtf? Thx for sharing your thoughts! Losers block the door so the blessings cannot enter!! Life is too short to waste time! Self worth is more important!
I'm currently in this situation right now. But I have a piece of my mind& told him that I'm done with him. At this point whether he calls, text, show up at my house or school I want absolutely nothing to do with him cuz I just buried the relationship. Thanks the video was def an eye opener! Now let me wipe my tears
I guess u only can see them for who they really are only when u wake up from the spell of love. and for some men: they're in love with idea that :( a woman is in love with them & can't get them) rather than: (in love with the woman herself) ; in other words, they are using women only to boost their self image and confidence.
Love is a game everyone wants to play but nobody wants to end up losing. If you are serious about your relationship then no one wants to have a player in their life. Know your partner well before it's too late because it's hard to walk away after you feel attached to him.
You just dont sleep with them period. Once you even smell game your out. There are no second chances. Life is too short. If you busy yourself with upgrading your life you will realize there are not that attractive and in reality you will witness how really unstable they are in all areas of their life. It gets easier as you get older and wiser.
ok u just saved me. I was doing all the right things. but I was just aboit to slip up and go down to his level. I'm not gonna do that. I'll be real up to the end. Thank you for that. I almost lost myself to these games... I hate games. I never like to play. Thank you
This video is great ! Really helped open my eyes and to end the situation I was in with this guy . Too many games , and in fact he told me that everyone's gets bored with him one day ... Not knowing I really did love him . lost the best thing he had by playing ridiculous games . Thanks for sharing and keep doing what you do !
Oh Man you speak so much truth, been with a woman who played these games, she cost me everything, marriage, kids, home and financial problems. what you said, I felt angry , frustrated and empty after every meeting. Have watched loads of vids , but wish i'd seen this a couple of years ago, I let this crap go on for 3 years. keep up the good work chazzellis. and thanks for making it seem all so clear now. RESPECT
‘I’m trying to cultivate other relationships right now’ this is perfect Perfect ! I have a ghoster who is basically not available but we’ve hooked up a lot. This line can end it easily and succinctly thanks 🙏
You have to stop fuel their energy so the games would stop .i told him you are the king of mixed signals and that my heart is not a playground so go play somewhere else
OMG - thank you so much! I am hurting over realizing that I’ve been “played “ with this guy for over 2 years now. I gave him more of a chance, I think, because he has been a Fireman for decades- and I figured- he must have moral character and ethics. You are helping me. Thank you so much.
How to Deal with Game Playing Master Class 101. Devalue a players: When someone plays games they generally do it so that they can get attention and gain the upper hand in the relationship. Most people don't really care if this is negative or positive attention as long as they feel that they still have the same or greater value because to their actions. Showing a person that is playing games that they have lost value is a great way to let them see that what they are doing is negatively affecting them so that they will stop. 102. Ignoring: We often spend a lot of our time paying attention to things that make us unhappy, instead of focusing on the things that make us smile. When someone is playing games, they are generally trying to get the attention that they probably didn't get it their previous relationships. Ignoring them can show them that this does not work with you and that they will need to try another method. 103. Rewarding good behavior: We often want people to behave a certain way but often take it for granted when they do. A lot of people have been taken for granted in the past and this is why they choose to play games in the first place. Rewarding good behavior shows that once they act the way that you want them to, they will get the positive affirmation that they may not have received in previous relationships. Save 15% on the How to Deal with Game Playing Master Class with Coupon Code: stopthegames sellfy.com/p/38Eq/
There’s a man who is playing game with me and I know why. I met him in India he was my guide then we keep contact on Facebook and I know by the way he’s texting me that he’s playing games for the good reason which is he’s hoping I will go back to visit India so he can get the tips and I can give to charity like the first time. The first time I sent 2 large parcels , and he asked me if I could send some pants to him and a bag for his wife , I bought a second hand bag and the pants and I told him no more. After a while that he asked me for other things like sports shoes so I told him that it would be the last and not to ask me anymore. He send meaningless texts, textes me late at night and told me that he missed me. I told him “ ya, whatever “ I’m keeping him online because Iknow one day he will ask more , and my plan is to make him believe I will give him what he wants.. I will never send anything and see how he reacts to this, then I will tell him that I’ve been playing the way he has, meaning, I also didn’t get anything in exchange, it’s just one way help. Anyway he’s just an acquaintance to me and I will let him know.
They like playing games because they know the don't deserve us they feel inferior but in fact they really like or have strong feelings for us. Quit the games they are not worthy at all...be assertive and just walk away. Agree with you man...thanks for confirming my understanding🖒🌷
Oh.... My ..... Gosh....... This..... This was eye opening .... The game for me started in hs ... Has gone on for 5 years... We even got married and had a baby ....... I feel so enlightened....
Thanks for this Chazz. This was a great wake up call for me to get off the crazy train because I'm going through this at the moment. Very timely advice.
It's like you were totally witnessing my situation right now!!!!!!! You're soooo helpful!!!! It's so hard sometimes for a stubborn person to sometimes just back away instead of always trying to win! Thanks so much!!
I think out of all these dating advice videos, you have spoken the most sense. You’ve given me something to think about, and the ending put a smile on my face! Thank you 😊
Chaz.....you’re very gifted Bro. You’re the perfect blend of street reality and general human nature tendency. I truly enjoy your analysis. Stay in the game and take it to the highest level God directs my brother.
I've definitely been in this situation. Sometimes I try to think of myself as a mother and about how I would respond if my daughter told me that she was experiencing a similar situation. Usually my answer would be to leave the situation alone. This makes my position in the situation 5x clearer.
I wish I can like this video a hundred time seriously.. I don’t play games with ppl, I hate it, I’m always transparent about my feelings & expect the same but not everyone is like me of course.. so you saying that most of the time it’s not even someone you liked in the beginning just thought they were ok etc is so true cause I be here like “ I didn’t even like you, you came to me etc, I didn’t even want to get to know you” so you’re absolutely right I’m chasing an answer & from now on, I am done & will go back to this video anytime I feel someone trying to play games with me
This is exactly what I needed to hear inorder to confirm what I am doing now. I realized she is losing something which she is feeling I.e.the worthless mind games and that too since long. There is text after text this days with calls too. And I am doing what is needed to be done I.e. ignore much and try to move out of the situation as soon as possible. I question myself what was wrong going on in life,i found out the wrong happening and got a kind of confirmation here. Got to learn that it is her own insecurities which made her play that way. Thank you. New subscriber here.
OH MY GOD. I THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!!! I had a break through!!!!!!!!! I Have been hanging on to my ex for YEARS now, and EVERY SINGLE THING YOU MENTIONED JUST WAS RIGHT!!!! I have been through AAAAALL dating coaches and online courses until just NOW I realsied he is a player....oh my god this is changing my LIFE LITERALLY NOW!!!! I never knew how I can get ahead of this, how I can REACT DIRECTLY TO THAT To HIM! its like my eyes are wide open and I know inside he has a vulnerable heart and is a good man but he is also quite sick like this and no matter what comes out , if I still want him, NOW I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS. THANK U SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Great advice chazz!! Thank you so much!! I love how you say that’s the way they get control of you! And my friend joe says “if your house is burning down do you need to know why or do you need to get out?” (In regards to you chasing the answer) exactly! And I’m not going to keep trying to get the upper hand! I’m done playing games! Thanks chaZz I really needed this!
Don't give the man any married benefits, if you are not married. That will keep him interested but in the long run he will move on. Especially, when you are acting like a wife, and he doesn't have to work for you.
I dated a guy who did the game playing & I was confused for a moment. So I went to him & just plain told him he wasn't ready for a real relationship & I'm not doing this because I don't have time for games. God bless you & enjoy your life. I have not looked back since & am happier that I did. I don't give 2nd chances so if he ever calls back, I will not even give him the time of day. Just too much! Thanks Chazz. I appreciate your advice videos. One day, I will ask my own question about the relationship I'm in now to see what you think about it. I am & have always been 100% straight up w/guys as you mentioned in one of your videos & they either talk for a little while to see if I'll stick to my word or never call back. And I truly don't care if they don't & I don't call them either. I would love to be in a real relationship leading to marriage as you said all women want, but I do have a life & happy in it & enjoy it when I'm in my down time, meaning when I'm not talking to anyone at that time. But your videos still help & I like listening to them. Thanks again.
Smfh. The disappearing act... They know that shit ain't Right. Trying to make folks look all stupid and shit... Don't no damn body deserve all that foolishness.
Oh my goodness perfect thank you! Just what I needed to hear! I appreciate the answers on how to respond to a player how to get them confused! I have had enough with the bullcrap! Thank you so much.
I wish I saw this before 8 months. Its my first love he is still playing with me. But he seems so good and pitty to not forgive. but now I understood it's how the game is played. I'm being so honest and good to him all I receive is nothing. I'm going to watch you more and learn a lot. THANK YOU!
You have described very well a narcissistic sociopath (look it up) called it a "player" which they are. It's very healthy to see both sides "the played and the player" how you describe them, our role in the cycle of abuse and what to do to stop. Thank you!!
You hit me so hard when you said People do this because they are chasing ghosts and the person I choose I wasn’t interested in the first place. Damn when the truth hurt 😢 Sir, thank you for what you do and I hope you help and heal the masses with your videos. I’ve already stop the negative traits that I was doing.
Man... I just discovered your channel and I have watched thousands of videos from other coaches and your content has been amazing! Keep doing what you do! I’m addicted!
This dude is so on point. I didn't really like my ex player too much at first. But, he started playing games and I started chasing the answer!! Thanks for the video! It was a great help
I went through the same crap but then realized it was just a facade that will never come true and my decision to disappear from their life was very legitimate because of the pain they cause and so charismatic to try to make you regret your choice to cut them out of your life. But sooner or later their repetitive behavior will show again and make you miserable for the last time. There’s better people out there to replace them with. Much better! Keep bettering your life. 💞Subscribed!
They consistently want to know how you feel about them but are vague when it comes to their feelings about you OR, they make up or lie about their feelings towatds you yet their actions are not consistent with those alleged “feelings”. I see the later more often because it keeps you on the hook longer than if they weren’t willing to share any feelings or thoughts whatsoever.
Wow you hit a point that made me think. You said that we chase someone we never intended to love initially just to find the answer of if they like us and then move on with our lives. I never thought of it that way, damn. That's kinda twisted! We don't even realize we are doing this when we chase. Very good insight.
Stumbled on your site, great info. I'm in the early stages of possibly a player & I nipped it in the bud. Now he's coming back around. Truefull conversation or nothing! Thanks for verification!
I'm going through something similar to just about everything you mentioned. I've been seeing the red flags and have tried to give the benefit of the doubt. Now I see what's real so thank you for that. I really liked what you said about stop playing the game and getting back to who I am... this is advice I'm going to remember.
u touched my life and the biggest problem that has stressed me out. now ive made things clear the dogs beggin 4 me thankyou god bless and may these rotton players get it hard so they realise the value of love,loyalty and most of all patience x
Thank You Thank You Thank You in November 2019!!! This is 100% ACCURATE! The gaming has stopped and relaxation is settling in!!! Just downloaded you video for the archives---- if i get the hint of a game, it is over!
Been through this, constantly chasing didn't like n the beginning.....you are so smart and real! Chasing the answer is a big ass commitment for life! I needed to hear this omg! thank you for your genuine stop it solution now I know that as long as I play this they win.....that just motivates them.
ON POINT. "You're not chasing the person, you're chasing the answer." This is great.
Krystal B 💯💯
💯👹💃🏃🏃🏃💨🚶
I about lost my mind when he said this!!! That sums up the BS completely.
I could not agree more. They always keep you confused because of their confusement.
Yes exactly!!
hey . mike I just happened. To run across your message like 2 or 3 days ago listeners To you said to myself right on .I figured you were a black comedian
Out here on the web given it a whirl so I wanted to check you out man. Most the time. Black comedians are really funny and have a savvy of sliding real life into. Something funny and always with a white ribbing involved. It's genaric I guess .But. i really got into your insite look.thia guys cool .cpuple go by and get there's that dude gotta take listen I listened to 3 of your speak outs I just listened to this one .i think you are a really balanced. Hyman being. And envyyou
Some people do not know what they have until it's gone.
Genesis Real info Report. Sooo true
Some people don't know what they have...ever.
Exactly. He played himself cause I'm the one that got away! 💯
Chaz. I am a Psychotherapist and your assessment was brilliant and on point. I actually have been forwarding your link to some of my close female friends or former clients. Bravo my brother. God bless you. Keep of the good work.
You help me a lot with your advice. Im in the situation with this guy played my emotions. Now i will send him your wonderful message. God bless you always.
I SERIOUSLY DOUBT THAT A LEGITIMATE PSYCHOTHERAPIST WOULD SAY "BRAVO MY BROTHEER". THAT DOES NOT AT ALL SOUND THE WAY THAT TYPE OF PERSON WOULD TALK.
@@19.sciencetechnology30I am a counsellor and a psychotherapist and I talk all different kind of lingo/slang at times. it doesn't mean that I'm not professional
I rewatch this video just to remind myself to never make this same mistake again! thank you for your insight!!
Stop trying to win ! Once you start accepting they got the best of you and let them win , you will realize that you never wanted them in the first place ... It's the answers that you were after not the person...stop playing along and gain your power back😌 don't waste your time and energy on players 👌✊✌️
Hmm, very true. It is defiantly the answers people are after. Even when they love the person, still once games start its answers they are then searching for.
Yes, "you will realize that you never wanted them in the first place." I hear you loud and clear on that one. 👏👏👏
Yes,yes!!
Facts! 1000% Facts! If you took the time to step back and truly evaluate your desire to be with them, you will find out that the addiction was the chase not actual substance between you and he/she.
This is so true. I just went straight no contact with a guy who started playing games. He's been calling and texting at least every other day ever since. Right now I don't even want to talk to him. Don't know if I will. Right now I feel if he wants to prove he's real he has to find another way to contact me because I'm not feeling it at this time. I do miss him but he started the game and I'm not playing it with him.
+luulips same here :(
Amen !
luulips stay strong!
Amén !
luulips im having that problem right now but idc i pay him no more attention
Sounds like a mix of insecurity and narcissism...
Darius Olfus. YEP! I think u nailed it. ( I realize this was a year ago but I had to comment)
dude, you got it!
facts
Exactly! Smells like a narc
TheSushiraw Truth; however, greater is He Who is n Christ followers (God Almighty) than he who is n the world (Satan & his cohorts).
This is so true.... you just made me realise I’m not really in love with him I’m just caught up in the game, I’m caught up trying to achieve the unobtainable cause if I get him I think I’d actually freak out lol he’s not even my type... 🤔
Omg. So true. I don't even like this guy.
You have fully turned on the light switch on my brain. I'm the type of person that can get over shit quickly once I find the answer. This REALLY helped clarify certain things.
i cut them off very fast i dont have Time for bs
Zuleika Coffie Me too I don't have time to waste
Me too. The look on their face, to see that their game does not work on you, is priceless. Once I notice they playing games. I don't even tell them I'm not gonna play their game, I just act like we never was trying to get to know each other in the first place. They be like, I thought we were in a relationship. I be like, oh my bad I thought we were just chilling as friends, I never looked at you like that. I have my eyes on someone else right now. If it don't work out, I'll let you know and we can see what we can do later. Later never comes. They stuck in the friend zone.
They pay a lot to try and get your mind off the one they think you want. lol
Me too
Me too!
Dang this guy narrated exactly what happened to me months ago. Chasing answers and wanting to know why he did what he did. I saw it coming but ignored it. But now i have learned.He speaks the truth.
You’re not chasing them, you’re chasing the answer. Damn that hit me and it’s so true.
Mines a lil different. He confesses his love to me , how attractive he finds me, makes the plans, then bails. NEVER follows thru. I’ve been chasing the answer this whole time. I don’t even know if I like them because I don’t even know him that well. But I fell in love with the idea of him and the chase. I felt like there was a connection and he really liked me. But this shit needs to end. I have so much going on in my life and he has NOTHING. I think he is insecure and intimidated by me. A woman that has her own place, own style, determination and beauty.
Yes he is and wants to drain your energy
I just broke it off with this girl after seeing this video. I feel so much better now.
Wow!!! I guess I am too honest and transparent. It's just not in me to "play games." I am always prepared to walk away! I prefer to use my universal energy to help others. Thanks Chaz!!
April Jackson just like me ;)
Right!!!
oh why why why is this so accurate?! My first problem was that I didn't really even like him in the first place! go with ur first mind..trust ur intuition! it may save a lot of nonsense
Im thankful to stumble upon a video like this right now, everything stated is true, especially about the "chase", thanks!
Makes so much sense, but yet still we put ourselves through it. Weak people play games to control. It's all about them. Insecure!
WOW this is 100% right. You really get it. At first I thought you were talking about a general game playing.... but after hearing the whole thing I see you are describing a sociopath. This applies to friendships and relationships. And you are right about not being so interested in the first place (that's the intuition telling us to stay away) and later chasing answers and truth.
I. NEEDED. THIS... Thank you so much.. my head is finally clear after all this time. and i realized it when you said "when you get him, you gon dump him anyways" lmfao.... that's when it hit me. thanks so much again.
This is so powerful and so simple when you finally decide in your heart to "stop playing the game and stop trying to win". Any power that person has over you just dissipates and peace flows over you.
Man you just explained the relationship I was in!! Thank you for Freeing me from that ghost!!! I'm grateful!
This video is so fitting and ironic. Just two weeks before this was made, I met someone who fit this damn description completely. If only I had seen this video on the date it was posted, I would have saved myself so much heartbreak. Dammit man! Oh well, we live and we learn.....
Isn't that how it goes, but at least you will be prepared in the future.
Omg 💯on all points I've been in that situation once your done your done and you just don't care anymore it's a freeing moment!
The best advice I can give for this problem and most problems when it comes to relationships is to intellectually think about the situation.
If you thought intellectually about the individual playing games from the get go and put your emotions in check, you would drop them in a heartbeat and never look back. There needs to be a balance in relationships, and one person putting in more effort than the other, confusion, miscommunication, etc all that needs to be resolved.
THIS IS ONE OF MY MANY FAVORITE VIDEOS.
I was laughing standing up clapping to this because he has said nothing but the truth and this is what I needed to hear. I pray God continues to bless you, Chav & to continue shedding the light to women & men alike.
This has to be one of the best videos I have seen on relationships! Every single thing you said in this video is true! This happened to me over 6 months ago...and it ended because I finally realized how stupid I was being by trying to win a hopeless situation. I am literally in shock at how right you are! Keep posting videos like this, we need them! Love your work!
Thank you, I really appreciated that.
I agree, you nailed it ;)
"It's usually somebody that you didn't like that much." AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH!! After that you wanna kick yaself😂😂😂😂
Either they are playing games or scared to tell you it's over! Be straightforward! Never string people along!
Yep!
LOVE IT Chazz! "You could chase the answer FOREVER!" Here's what I heard & have been implementing...."If your house is on fire, do you need to know why? Or just get the h*** outta there?" I wrote that in my FIRST NYT bestseller! YOU are featured in my book! TY SO MUCH FOR ALL YOU DO!! (AND thanks for saying "be real with yourself" again! haha It's my FAVORITE!!) LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS ONE! TY!!
1. You're amazing
2. I learned something. To avoid heartbreak you have to talk to the person - that's the only way!
Imagine somebody playing with you and at the end they aren't interested anymore while you're already deeply madly in love. Once you know what you're ON, how he sees you, you know what to do. Sure it might hurt a little(or a little more) but it sure will hurt a lot less then when you're in love and learn s/he doesn't love you back..
So to all the people out there, just breaking their asses over someone cause they don't know what they're on and they have mood swings because of that person(he seems cold,IM SAD..he seems interested IM HAPPY) listen YOU NEED TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON. Don't keep torturing yourself like that untill you've fallen for it, and then s/he may blow you off, now that's a real deal. Sure you can keep suspecting with love me not's, but you can and will be wrong, the only person that can tell you what's going on is the one you like/love. Grab some balls and do it, save yourself. Love can be dangerous.
I'm in this situation now I feel so stupid.😩😩
Me too 😓
Me to right now I'm so stupid too x
same
We're not stupid. They are well-practiced liars and con artists. After Chaz' vids, we will be more prepared the next time.
its a waste of time just move on too much dramma
It's difficult to find a guy who won't play games with you even how honest and loyal you are to him. You just have to give all your trust and it's up to him if he'll value that because there are no secrets that can be keep forever.
You forgot the low self esteem. When a person has low self esteem they will play games bc they don't feel up to par with what they think are your standards so they play with you.
True
This video explained to a TEE the situation that I found myself in and the foolery lasted over a year. The part where you talked not really wanting the person, but wanting to “win” the situation, really resonated with me. This video also helped me acknowledge that I wasn’t a victim in that situation as much as participant and see that the individual started from a place insecurity. I wish I would’ve seen this two months ago, but it has provided me with clarity to continue to move on. When he comes back, I’m just going to let him know up front. Thanks for this video! 🙏🏾🙏🏾
You talk so much sense!! This is EXACTLY what I'm going through. I can't believe how much you've opened my eyes to this kind of relationship. Wow, wow and wow!
Wow! You nailed it!!! Our intuition tells us when someone is playing games!! But the Chase is fun!! They Chase you in the beginning, then the games start slowly coming into play. Wtf? Thx for sharing your thoughts! Losers block the door so the blessings cannot enter!! Life is too short to waste time! Self worth is more important!
I'm currently in this situation right now. But I have a piece of my mind& told him that I'm done with him. At this point whether he calls, text, show up at my house or school I want absolutely nothing to do with him cuz I just buried the relationship. Thanks the video was def an eye opener! Now let me wipe my tears
I guess u only can see them for who they really are only when u wake up from the spell of love. and for some men: they're in love with idea that :( a woman is in love with them & can't get them) rather than: (in love with the woman herself) ; in other words, they are using women only to boost their self image and confidence.
I don't want to play the game anymore...Thank you for ur words of wisdom
Love is a game everyone wants to play but nobody wants to end up losing. If you are serious about your relationship then no one wants to have a player in their life. Know your partner well before it's too late because it's hard to walk away after you feel attached to him.
You just dont sleep with them period. Once you even smell game your out. There are no second chances. Life is too short. If you busy yourself with upgrading your life you will realize there are not that attractive and in reality you will witness how really unstable they are in all areas of their life. It gets easier as you get older and wiser.
ok u just saved me. I was doing all the right things. but I was just aboit to slip up and go down to his level. I'm not gonna do that. I'll be real up to the end. Thank you for that. I almost lost myself to these games... I hate games. I never like to play. Thank you
gosh, that last example hit home...I was trying to play that game with someone I really didn't like...ugh..thank you for breaking it down: )
This video is great ! Really helped open my eyes and to end the situation I was in with this guy . Too many games , and in fact he told me that everyone's gets bored with him one day ... Not knowing I really did love him . lost the best thing he had by playing ridiculous games . Thanks for sharing and keep doing what you do !
Oh Man you speak so much truth, been with a woman who played these games, she cost me everything, marriage, kids, home and financial problems. what you said, I felt angry , frustrated and empty after every meeting. Have watched loads of vids , but wish i'd seen this a couple of years ago, I let this crap go on for 3 years. keep up the good work chazzellis. and thanks for making it seem all so clear now. RESPECT
@5:53"They'll disappear and then pop back up." Too funny
Boy, when u said "chasing ghosts" I felt like u was in the sanctuary & the whole church went "Wooooo" 👐😂😅
Don't like playing games...I'm going to be me...you be you...don't have the time.
‘I’m trying to cultivate other relationships right now’ this is perfect Perfect ! I have a ghoster who is basically not available but we’ve hooked up a lot. This line can end it easily and succinctly thanks 🙏
You have to stop fuel their energy so the games would stop .i told him you are the king of mixed signals and that my heart is not a playground so go play somewhere else
lol nyc one
OMG - thank you so much! I am hurting over realizing that I’ve been “played “ with this guy for over 2 years now. I gave him more of a chance, I think, because he has been a Fireman for decades- and I figured- he must have moral character and ethics. You are helping me. Thank you so much.
How to Deal with Game Playing Master Class
101. Devalue a players: When someone plays games they generally do it so that they can get attention and gain the upper hand in the relationship. Most people don't really care if this is negative or positive attention as long as they feel that they still have the same or greater value because to their actions. Showing a person that is playing games that they have lost value is a great way to let them see that what they are doing is negatively affecting them so that they will stop.
102. Ignoring: We often spend a lot of our time paying attention to things that make us unhappy, instead of focusing on the things that make us smile. When someone is playing games, they are generally trying to get the attention that they probably didn't get it their previous relationships. Ignoring them can show them that this does not work with you and that they will need to try another method.
103. Rewarding good behavior: We often want people to behave a certain way but often take it for granted when they do. A lot of people have been taken for granted in the past and this is why they choose to play games in the first place. Rewarding good behavior shows that once they act the way that you want them to, they will get the positive affirmation that they may not have received in previous relationships.
Save 15% on the How to Deal with Game Playing Master Class with Coupon Code: stopthegames
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askchazzellis great videos and just on time...but I am curious, do players know good what they are doing or it’s just in their blood?
There’s a man who is playing game with me and I know why. I met him in India he was my guide then we keep contact on Facebook and I know by the way he’s texting me that he’s playing games for the good reason which is he’s hoping I will go back to visit India so he can get the tips and I can give to charity like the first time. The first time I sent 2 large parcels , and he asked me if I could send some pants to him and a bag for his wife ,
I bought a second hand bag and the pants and I told him no more.
After a while that he asked me for other things like sports shoes so I told him that it would be the last and not to ask me anymore.
He send meaningless texts, textes me late at night and told me that he missed me.
I told him “ ya, whatever “
I’m keeping him online because Iknow one day he will ask more , and my plan is to make him believe I will give him what he wants..
I will never send anything and see how he reacts to this, then I will tell him that I’ve been playing the way he has, meaning, I also didn’t get anything in exchange, it’s just one way help.
Anyway he’s just an acquaintance to me and I will let him know.
Wow you nailed it.! So in depth and revealing I am speechless. You my Brother get the trophy. Stop chasing the explanation simple as that...
this has been the most ON POINT video, EVER!!! I experienced this and will now put your wonderful advice into practice.
They like playing games because they know the don't deserve us they feel inferior but in fact they really like or have strong feelings for us. Quit the games they are not worthy at all...be assertive and just walk away. Agree with you man...thanks for confirming my understanding🖒🌷
Oh.... My ..... Gosh....... This..... This was eye opening .... The game for me started in hs ... Has gone on for 5 years... We even got married and had a baby ....... I feel so enlightened....
Thanks for this Chazz. This was a great wake up call for me to get off the crazy train because I'm going through this at the moment. Very timely advice.
It's like you were totally witnessing my situation right now!!!!!!! You're soooo helpful!!!! It's so hard sometimes for a stubborn person to sometimes just back away instead of always trying to win! Thanks so much!!
I think out of all these dating advice videos, you have spoken the most sense. You’ve given me something to think about, and the ending put a smile on my face! Thank you 😊
Its time to write a book and get that shit published. Wow.. You hit alot of things right on the money.. Lol
I will man, I appreciate the feedback bro.
Chaz.....you’re very gifted Bro. You’re the perfect blend of street reality and general human nature tendency. I truly enjoy your analysis. Stay in the game and take it to the highest level God directs my brother.
I've definitely been in this situation. Sometimes I try to think of myself as a mother and about how I would respond if my daughter told me that she was experiencing a similar situation. Usually my answer would be to leave the situation alone. This makes my position in the situation 5x clearer.
Omggg I do this all the time!!
I wish I can like this video a hundred time seriously.. I don’t play games with ppl, I hate it, I’m always transparent about my feelings & expect the same but not everyone is like me of course.. so you saying that most of the time it’s not even someone you liked in the beginning just thought they were ok etc is so true cause I be here like “ I didn’t even like you, you came to me etc, I didn’t even want to get to know you” so you’re absolutely right I’m chasing an answer & from now on, I am done & will go back to this video anytime I feel someone trying to play games with me
Excellent analogies , your logical and real. Thamks a lot. It made me think .
This is exactly what I needed to hear inorder to confirm what I am doing now. I realized she is losing something which she is feeling I.e.the worthless mind games and that too since long. There is text after text this days with calls too. And I am doing what is needed to be done I.e. ignore much and try to move out of the situation as soon as possible. I question myself what was wrong going on in life,i found out the wrong happening and got a kind of confirmation here. Got to learn that it is her own insecurities which made her play that way. Thank you. New subscriber here.
Hands down by far the best show🙌🙌✨✨🖐🖐👏💫
OH MY GOD. I THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!!! I had a break through!!!!!!!!! I Have been hanging on to my ex for YEARS now, and EVERY SINGLE THING YOU MENTIONED JUST WAS RIGHT!!!! I have been through AAAAALL dating coaches and online courses until just NOW I realsied he is a player....oh my god this is changing my LIFE LITERALLY NOW!!!! I never knew how I can get ahead of this, how I can REACT DIRECTLY TO THAT To HIM! its like my eyes are wide open and I know inside he has a vulnerable heart and is a good man but he is also quite sick like this and no matter what comes out , if I still want him, NOW I KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS. THANK U SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-_- ugh!!!! -_- I was going through this for almost a year, I wasn't even chasing them at all.
Great advice chazz!! Thank you so much!! I love how you say that’s the way they get control of you! And my friend joe says “if your house is burning down do you need to know why or do you need to get out?” (In regards to you chasing the answer) exactly! And I’m not going to keep trying to get the upper hand! I’m done playing games! Thanks chaZz I really needed this!
Don't give the man any married benefits, if you are not married.
That will keep him interested but in the long run he will move on.
Especially, when you are acting like a wife, and he doesn't have to work for you.
I dated a guy who did the game playing & I was confused for a moment. So I went to him & just plain told him he wasn't ready for a real relationship & I'm not doing this because I don't have time for games. God bless you & enjoy your life. I have not looked back since & am happier that I did. I don't give 2nd chances so if he ever calls back, I will not even give him the time of day. Just too much! Thanks Chazz. I appreciate your advice videos. One day, I will ask my own question about the relationship I'm in now to see what you think about it. I am & have always been 100% straight up w/guys as you mentioned in one of your videos & they either talk for a little while to see if I'll stick to my word or never call back. And I truly don't care if they don't & I don't call them either. I would love to be in a real relationship leading to marriage as you said all women want, but I do have a life & happy in it & enjoy it when I'm in my down time, meaning when I'm not talking to anyone at that time. But your videos still help & I like listening to them. Thanks again.
Smfh. The disappearing act... They know that shit ain't Right. Trying to make folks look all stupid and shit... Don't no damn body deserve all that foolishness.
I know, right!!! Gets me everytime
Thank you for aiding me to cut all the bs out my life. keep up the good work💯
Wow. This is by far the best dating advice video I have seen on TH-cam! Thanks!!! ❤️
really great insight, I've been going through this for 6 months and was suspecting he was playing me and emotionally unavailable
Sounds just like an ex of mine who I suspect is a narcissist! They never give up!
Oh my goodness perfect thank you! Just what I needed to hear! I appreciate the answers on how to respond to a player how to get them confused! I have had enough with the bullcrap! Thank you so much.
True! That's how you turn the tables. Leave them alone and do you. It gives me pleasure to implement the no contact rule on a ninja real quick.
LENA PATEL Real quick.
I wish I saw this before 8 months. Its my first love he is still playing with me. But he seems so good and pitty to not forgive. but now I understood it's how the game is played. I'm being so honest and good to him all I receive is nothing. I'm going to watch you more and learn a lot. THANK YOU!
You have described very well a narcissistic sociopath (look it up) called it a "player" which they are. It's very healthy to see both sides "the played and the player" how you describe them, our role in the cycle of abuse and what to do to stop. Thank you!!
You hit me so hard when you said People do this because they are chasing ghosts and the person I choose I wasn’t interested in the first place. Damn when the truth hurt 😢 Sir, thank you for what you do and I hope you help and heal the masses with your videos. I’ve already stop the negative traits that I was doing.
You are a genius for this!!!!! I love this!!! Keep going 💕💕💕😘😘😘😘😘
Man... I just discovered your channel and I have watched thousands of videos from other coaches and your content has been amazing! Keep doing what you do! I’m addicted!
I encountered these types of guys it's hilarious because I'm like " damn why didn't I see this video back then"
This dude is so on point. I didn't really like my ex player too much at first. But, he started playing games and I started chasing the answer!! Thanks for the video! It was a great help
Brah these people lowkey scary. Some of them points sounded like psychopaths
I went through the same crap but then realized it was just a facade that will never come true and my decision to disappear from their life was very legitimate because of the pain they cause and so charismatic to try to make you regret your choice to cut them out of your life. But sooner or later their repetitive behavior will show again and make you miserable for the last time. There’s better people out there to replace them with. Much better! Keep bettering your life. 💞Subscribed!
They consistently want to know how you feel about them but are vague when it comes to their feelings about you OR, they make up or lie about their feelings towatds you yet their actions are not consistent with those alleged “feelings”. I see the later more often because it keeps you on the hook longer than if they weren’t willing to share any feelings or thoughts whatsoever.
"You won, okay bye." -- Love it
so true, you chasing a answer especially if you have a personality thats curious
Damn you really on point with this one here! Sheesh 😂 it’s always the ones you didn’t even like like that . That ends up playing you🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
"Realize that you're not really interested in them and you are only interested in winning." Yup. That right there. 100. *claps*
Wow you hit a point that made me think. You said that we chase someone we never intended to love initially just to find the answer of if they like us and then move on with our lives. I never thought of it that way, damn. That's kinda twisted! We don't even realize we are doing this when we chase. Very good insight.
Stumbled on your site, great info. I'm in the early stages of possibly a player & I nipped it in the bud. Now he's coming back around. Truefull conversation or nothing! Thanks for verification!
I'm going through something similar to just about everything you mentioned. I've been seeing the red flags and have tried to give the benefit of the doubt. Now I see what's real so thank you for that. I really liked what you said about stop playing the game and getting back to who I am... this is advice I'm going to remember.
You are brilliant. Thank you for this.
Wow, you are so insightful, this is the best perspective on this whole thing..thanks so much. Game over.
u touched my life and the biggest problem that has stressed me out. now ive made things clear the dogs beggin 4 me thankyou god bless and may these rotton players get it hard so they realise the value of love,loyalty and most of all patience x
Thank You Thank You Thank You in November 2019!!! This is 100% ACCURATE! The gaming has stopped and relaxation is settling in!!! Just downloaded you video for the archives---- if i get the hint of a game, it is over!
Omg this was exactly what i needed!!! THANK YOU!!!!
Been through this, constantly chasing didn't like n the beginning.....you are so smart and real! Chasing the answer is a big ass commitment for life! I needed to hear this omg! thank you for your genuine stop it solution now I know that as long as I play this they win.....that just motivates them.