E18: What are the Consequences of Betrayal for the Unfaithful?

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 ธ.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 49

  • @chels8562
    @chels8562 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    I would like to know how many faithful women have taken their lives because of the betrayl and the unraveling that comes after day in and out for years.

    • @jimobrien6903
      @jimobrien6903 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      men as well :)

  • @darren_mcgarvey
    @darren_mcgarvey 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    I was wondering where you got to Sam. Your AR videos got me through the hardest time of my life. 6 months on from D-Day 1 of many, and I can see the light, occasionally. Thank you 😊

    • @AskTheUnfaithful
      @AskTheUnfaithful  4 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      It's an absolute honor. thank you for the kind words that mean so much. so glad you found the podcast and I hope it's a great gift of encouragement and perspective for you. your message means so much.

  • @shala604
    @shala604 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +42

    I think it's time to throw in the towel. I just can't anymore ...it's everyday that I get to see my spouse co-parenting now with the AP. I don't get any kind of break from the constant reminder of the disrespect that's apparently just the way it is ....was ... And will be. I don't deserve to pay his consequences

    • @kljfaith
      @kljfaith 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      So painful…so wrong.

    • @gregorypeck2763
      @gregorypeck2763 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      I grieve with you

    • @ShaunyP26
      @ShaunyP26 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Fuck him! You deserve better and will get better. They're just on a high. They aren't as happy as they want you to see.

    • @ebest1338
      @ebest1338 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      So sorry that you have to go through this.

    • @shala604
      @shala604 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +14

      Thank you for your comments here. Sometimes I think I just need to say it out loud. So that it doesn't start to rot inside me or build up in ways that become more than I can manage. I can't help but feel robbed. Wasted almost 13 years of my life. I had my tubes tied so that we wouldn't have to be in this exact situation. I thought I was protecting us from ruining our lives with having another child...ours are almost grown and out of the house in 2 years.
      Anyway thank you for your empathy

  • @LAstandard
    @LAstandard 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    AWESOME content guys. I’ve watched dozens of videos from Dr. Ramani, David Hawkins and Les Carter and this has been MOST helpful insight so far. Thank you!

  • @tblank0302
    @tblank0302 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Great message w this one team - lots from which to learn.

  • @fruity_mango6539
    @fruity_mango6539 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Thank you for this podcast! My husband of 21 years has been a pornography/sex addict with a 30+ year addiction, and also a 30+ year weed addiction, which he continues with daily, so he can “check out”. (Blocking REAL chance at connecting 😢) He says he hasn’t acted out since February. But I have no proof other than his word. And unfortunately, that doesn’t mean much. He still doing a lot of the defensive and blame shifting. But he likes to scream to the world about how he is a new man and how much work that he has done. There’s still no connection with him, and I, and it’s so draining on my soul. I am exhausted. he keeps dangling the carrot about giving me a disclosure. I feel like I’m sinking in quicksand. 😭

    • @Gotoworkkk
      @Gotoworkkk 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Divorce sounds like the only option for you!!
      Once a cheater was a cheater!

    • @cindyhoomalu1566
      @cindyhoomalu1566 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Unfortunately it takes time. I had to show my husband that I could remain calm, taking breaks when I needed to instead of reacting, in order to go through it with him. I wrote out all the questions I had and allowed him time to work on his response. It was so hard to go through!!! I hope you get the answers you’re looking for and have less pain every day!

    • @Gotoworkkk
      @Gotoworkkk 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      He didn’t cheat on you though. That’s what this podcast is about.

  • @Dawn-tv1bk
    @Dawn-tv1bk 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +21

    Not everyone hits rock bottom. Some are just bottom dwellers.

    • @vivianwilliams4709
      @vivianwilliams4709 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      That's real stuff. Brave enough you are to say it.
      Not everyone sees that or understands it.

  • @vanitaramlochan6725
    @vanitaramlochan6725 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +10

    What about when they leave to be with the AP...do they face any consequences?

    • @sanitary103
      @sanitary103 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Sometimes yes sometimes no. Most apparently don’t work though I don’t know if I 100 percent believe in the data.

    • @Gotoworkkk
      @Gotoworkkk 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Not in my case, there was no remorse.

  • @joannecoots8041
    @joannecoots8041 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Do they digest that reality if they are still with the affair partner ? Do any of those consequences even come to mind or are they still in denial?Left marriage immediately after D-Day, moved in with affair partner . No desire from them to repair or work on the marriage at all, never looked back. Divorce took almost 2 years and post-divorce 7 months now. They are still together and just bought a house. One of our two adult children won't talk to him for the last 2 years. There has to be some recognition of the devastation that was caused by his choices. However there seems to be no outward expressions of remorse . The four brief instances where I have seen my now ex-husband he won't even make eye contact with me.. avoids me at all costs. Only communication has been business items as necessary. Married 28 years before D-Day.

    • @kljfaith
      @kljfaith 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Oh wow! I’m so sorry you had to deal w this massive destruction of a nuclear bomb!! Massive avoidance and denial- and living in fantasy rather than facing the shame/pain.
      I have dealt w a similar path- except many many many women dating apps ….back n forth ambivalence- desperation in his survival mode- won’t grow himself up. He’s a child being disobedient to his mother. I finally see it.

    • @doriwells8863
      @doriwells8863 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Sounds EXACTLY like my situation🤷🏼‍♀️. Been 5 years now since D day and I’m still …. Confused…..for lack of a long reply😬

    • @ggrace1133
      @ggrace1133 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

      It’s been my experience that long term affairs mean the unfaithful was done with the marriage long before the affair even began. They say they were just going through the motions and totally forgot what happiness and passion were. Even husbands who stay say they aren’t in love with their wife-that they love her like a friend or sister. Ugh! No thanks. I’d rather be single than live with that. There’s too much joy, fun, and adventure out there to be stuck with a betrayer who doesn’t love me any more. Happily moving on!

    • @ShaunyP26
      @ShaunyP26 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@joannecoots8041 Key sentence here is "Won't even look me in the eye." He knows he's a POS. He's just fallen victim to the tried and true sunk cost fallacy. These aren't people that are capable of expressing remorse. Their egos would collapse if they did.

    • @Gotoworkkk
      @Gotoworkkk 4 วันที่ผ่านมา

      It sounds like he moved on with his life. It’s time to move along with yours.❤

  • @MarkSummers-g2n
    @MarkSummers-g2n 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

    At what age do people stop having affairs

    • @AskTheUnfaithful
      @AskTheUnfaithful  4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      tough to say.....every situation is so different and so unique that it's a tough answer my friend.

    • @Gotoworkkk
      @Gotoworkkk 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Never!

    • @MichelleNixon-mi9nb
      @MichelleNixon-mi9nb 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      My unfaithful is 50 years old. A grandfather. He's a disgusting old man to me right now.

    • @Gotoworkkk
      @Gotoworkkk 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@MichelleNixon-mi9nb why do stay with him?? For his money?

    • @MichelleNixon-mi9nb
      @MichelleNixon-mi9nb 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@Gotoworkkk No. I think I'm trauma bonded.

  • @nunyabb
    @nunyabb 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

  • @MarinaM-o6p
    @MarinaM-o6p หลายเดือนก่อน

    🎤 I HAD A LITERARY HEART ATTACK CAUSED BY MY spouse …when I found out about his porn WATCHING and REPEATED AFFAIRS OUT THERE .