The Day Big Margit Marriet (Married)

Sounds like they were all on their best behaviour at Big Margit's wedding spree in south central Ulster! I'm surprised that the local padre had not made an appearance to help with guidance and blessings so as to be adding a verse to the proceedings. Enjoy this campfire style version of 'The Day Big Margit Marriet'. Great community spirit.
1st Verse
They sent out invitations - to a weddin party he did say,
Ack awy, Sammy's sister Margit - wiz merriet that same day.
The weather wiz for little else - Sam said, “lets have a spree”
So they gethered all the niybors up - an awy, that included me.
Then came the pair o' newly weds - like ye'd niver saa afore,
And first an foremaist he arrived - an him three quarter tore.
He hannae even combed his hair - an had a berd lik Paddy's goat,
An her dressed up in button boots - an a long flannel petticoat.
2nd Verse
When all got gethered in the hoose - they wusnae room tae stan,
An Margit kicked a rumpus up - whun she coodnae fin her man.
Everyboady luked for him - ack awy, as weel as they wur able,
Then the boys they funn him - lyin' in alow the table.
Now Sammy's sister Margit - awy, she was very big like that,
She set with yon big feet o' hers - on tap o' Sammy's cat.
From such a scar it betae think - that it had met it's fate
For it shot ot throu the windae - takin glass an windae wieit.
3rd Verse
Say's yer man wee John the baker - who wiz sittin' on a chair,
Well that will do us all a guid turn - for that'll gie us air.
Well there's wan that'll need it - said the driver o' the car
For there wiz Margit lyin' - she had fainted from the scar.
Tey hauled at hir an pult at hir - till at last they got hir ot
An Willie John the blacksmith - stuck hir head alow the spoot.
Says Sammy, “man ye'll droon hir - she hardly look's alive,”
“Damn the droon”, said Willie - “shure man that'll her revive.
4th Verse
Then Sammy he piped up an said, - “we better weet the tay,
For we harliae iver get a waddin - in oor hoose every day.”
“Ye joost dae that”, said Bella - “an gie yersel's a shake,
We thocht bae te luke o' Margit - ye wur gaan tae have a wake.”
Then they funn a table cloot - awy, the bit the moths had left,
Wit roosty spoons an toeless forks - an knifes withoot a heft.
But bad as the utensils wur - they didnae stem the greed,
Ach, ye'ed a thocht thon gredy gulpins - had niver seen a feed.
5th Verse
Well “did 'ye know”, said Sammy, - an him carvin up a hough,
“If he'd a 'thocht in time - they cooda had it in a trough.”
Well Willie John his mooth wiz full - an he coonnae get it rid,
An when he laffed he splootered - it all owr' the newly weds.
You talk aboot variety - ach well variety, ye wid be richt,
For the newly merriet man got up - an he wiz gane tae ficht.
By Jove, he said, “I'll brain ye al” - an him rachin' for a boul
But Margit hell him back ye see - ach, he wusnae hard tae houl!
6th Verse
Then some big dol fae doon the road - an hir jist in hir teens,
Ate two big aul', wan poun tins - of John West, tin sardines.
She ate that many fish by gob - an them nate even fried,
That hir stomach jist went in an oot - in motion like the tide.
Wee Willie he was fiddlin - ach awy, when sittin in his chair,
Playin his own wee veersion - of a well nown poplar air.
He's nat that guid best o'times - but whener drinks a spillin',
He'd make a bit o' skraighin - like a hen that wiz a killin'.
7th Verse
Then all a sudden a lump o' puddin - went flyin through the air
It hut wee Willie sich a clout - that it coped him af the chair.
If they hainae been a ficht afore - then that wiz fairly tryin,
An inside twanty seconds - ach awy, skin an hair wiz flyin'.
That ended up the weddin' spree - an it wiz a pure disgrace,
Broken bouls an cups an saucers - were flyin through the place.
Some had come in donkey kerts - an some o' them got merry,
And even yit ye darnae mention - the day big Margit marriet.