Am I Stuck in Quasi-recovery?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 15 เม.ย. 2022
- Quasi-recovery... what a weird concept but something that I think I might be struggling with. If you don't know what quasi recovery is or how it relates to eating disorders then I hope you can learn a bit from this video! I'm also back in Toronto now so had to say goodbye to Costa Rica... Hope you are all doing well!
Instagram: @maddiejaneec
I think your content is spot on. A journey through life sharing wisdom, challenges, ups/downs, adventures, love. The experience of having an ED, it’s impact on your life but also that it’s not ALL of who you are 💕
Thank you Jen ❤️ I appreciate the support! Hope you have a good week :)
Fig!!! She looks so happy to be cuddled with you. As others have said, you are doing amazing. Thoughts/urges/symptoms take a long time to get better, even with a lot of effort. Keep plugging along. It will get better.
Thank you Tanya :) It was nice to see Fig and I am happy to be home with her ❤️🐰 Hope you have a great week!
As for why people like the ED content...good question. I can't speak for others of course, but for me a)you are a genuinely interesting person b)your content is actually focused on recovery as well and the process for you and c) when you've had a ED for a considerable amount of time, it is nice to find others who can relate to the thoughts/feelings/frustrations of recovery. I have many amazing friends IRL and have over time shared my experiences with people that I trust. The reality is that people who haven't experienced ED or more serious mental illness, although they can be supportive and loving, can never understand what it feels like to live it. After a while people either think that you're fine now since you are doing better, or get bored of hearing about it (possibly me projecting that I think they're bored of it...). Either way, it helps to feel that you share a common experience that can't be fully understood by real life folks in your life, especially if you are actively trying to stay away from diet culture/friends that you've met in treatment etc. Perhaps others will have more to say.
It will be interesting to see what other people think. My hope is that by being open I can help others feel less alone if they are suffering through something like an ED. It is a long road to recovery so I also want to expose the hard parts of recovery so people know it's not always postiive. Like you said, perhaps others will have more to say 😂
You are kicking ass at recovery Maddie. I really don't think you are at risk of remaining stuck in quasi-recovery. You are completely aware of your eating disorder thoughts and the subsequent behaviors and because of this, you can absolutely challenge those thoughts. Things like opposite actions and challenge+repeat, will be super helpful moving forward. WhatMiaDidNext has a great video about getting out of quasi-recovery. She is my recovery coach and she is absolutely brilliant. So happy to see you and Fig reunited! Lots of love 💕
Thank you Dorothy ❤️ I also watch WhatMiaDidNext and have found a lot of support through her videos! It's great that you have her as a coach! Sending love back to you!
Ok… so the word stuck implies there’s no way out… but that’s not true, you are in control and you have the power to decide what happens… only you decide that! This is like going off the high dive… you’ve done so much hard work climbing up (facing fear foods, fighting urges, etc) now your standing on the edge of the board and you can either dive into recovery and swim or you can turn around, (go back yo your Ed and what feels safe) and climb back down the ladder… it’s up to you… and think abt this… you don’t fail! I’ve been watching you… the only way you can fail is to give up… I think you can
Emily, you are right. I am in control and have the power to get out of the place I am in. I like your analogy of "diving in" and choosing to swim. Thank you for the motivation ❤️
Two things: LOVE YOUR HAIR AND MAKEUP.
But also god I just love you so much. Like an hour before I saw you posted I made an ig post about how I don't like myself, and how wherever I go, I take myself with me. So while traveling temporarily covers my distaste for myself, I still end up in the same place: my head. I genuinely hope that we are able to feel as happy in our own mind as we get when we go somewhere new.
I understand you so much. Btw as for content, I would literally watch a video of you painting your fingers and watching TV. I literally don't care what you talk about, I'm just interested in what you have to say in general! So if nothing else you'll always have my view! Hahahah.
Thank you so much for the lovely comment ❤️ It sucks when we feel so down on ourselves... and it's super easy to then spiral with negative thinking... I also hope that we can both get to a happy place in our lives. Also glad you like my videos 😂 I could do a sit down and chat while painting my nails lol. Take care
I truly appreciate all your content and think that what you talk about is very needed! Thank you so much for sharing your lovely self with us❤️
Glad you like the videos :) Thank you for the comment!
Hearing you managing to be able to go out for dinner besides your ED thoughts makes me so happy and proud of you. You've improved so well.
Aww thank you! Sending love and good vibes ✌️
Maddie
You are so right... I do not have to be perfect, thank you for the reminder ❤️ It does help to look back and see how far I have come. I am also truly grateful for all of the support. Hope you have a good week!
Hey Maddie. I'm glad to know you're back in Toronto and semi-happy about it. Fig looks adorable as always. I appreciate you sharing other things about your life that don't relate to EDs, as we all deal with our own issues non-related to out eating struggles and you talking about it makes me feel like I can relate, which is nice. I also struggle with overworking myself and feeling guilty when I do something that isn't "productive". I'm a senior in high school too so I feel like every second I am not spending studying for my finals makes me a total failure. I also have an English exam in a week (IELTS) and if I don't pass I won't get into uni. As an Italian wanting to study in The Netherlands, I need the certification to get in and if I fail I have no college plans. Studying abroad has been a dream of mine for a decade and I've been working my ass off in school since I was 5 to get there, but it all depends on the result of my exam (but hey, this video is in English, isn't it? So I'm also practicing at the same time. Multitasking at its best hahahahaha). So at the moment I have no certainty about my future: do I have a future? Do I not? I'm in a weird place of my life as well. I told you this so that you know you're not alone. I have a million other things I worry about on a daily basis but watching this video made me realize that we all do, and that it is okay to take a break every now and then. Also, I feel like Quasi-Recovery might be a place we put ourselves in. It sounds like you want to be in Quasi-Recovery, like you're holding onto the last piece of the illness that dominated a big part of your life and just won't let go. And that's sad. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but it's the perspective of someone who doesn't understand the extent of what you're going through, as a non-fellow sufferer (my experience with Eds was mild. Still dangerous and crippling but not extreme). Maddie, we all want you to be healthy, both physically and mentally. Words are the only tools I have to communicate that to you, as we are an ocean apart. I look forward to next week's video and literally the only thing I can think of right now is that next time you'll upload, I'll be done with my exam (crying emoji). Enjoy the holidays! (I don't know much about Canadian holidays but it's Easter here!).
Elena, thank you so much for your comment and support. I can definitely relate to overworking yourself and finding it hard to achieve balance in your life. Just know that you are trying your hardest and to be kind to yourself. I am sure you will do great on your English exam as your writing is beautiful. I do want to get out of quasi-recovery but know I need to work harder myself and not resort back to old habits. It is Easter here in Canada so enjoying some yummy treats! Sending love and good vibes to you. Take care ❤️
I live in Pennsylvania and I think your English is better than a lot of people in my neighborhood.. lol good luck in your exam! Try not to stress so much… it’s not good for you 🥰
@@emilybilbow4990 aww thank you so much you're very sweet. and I ended up nailing it! I should be moving to Amsterdam in august. I'm so freaking excited!!
Also, I originally joined to learn more about the ED stuff in order to be a better support to a friend of mine, but now I’m invested and will watch whatever you’re into 😊
Good to hear, thank you ❤️
Hi Maddie I don't think you are stuck in quasi recovery. I am no ED expert but doesn't there come a time for you to manage your food intake without thinking you should eat whatever you feel like whenever. I mean there has to be a healthy boundary. You are now weight restored so isn't it OK to not feel guilty about not over eating? I do not see any flaws in you and think you have done extremely well the past 1 1/2 years. It was great to see the adorable Fig, I bet she was so happy to have you home again. Any video from you on any subject will be entertaining thank you! Don't be so hard on yourself, you are an inspiration to so many. Love the new hair colour. Have a great week. 😘
Thanks Dianne :) It's hard because I still don't know if I am weight restored or not... It all depends on where my body decides to stop naturally. I am continuing to push through though. It was nice to be home with Fig. I missed that little loaf so much. 🐰 Glad you like the video and the new hair 😉 Take care Dianne ❤️
Please do not ‘screw off’❤️ I really appreciate your honesty, authenticity and straight forward approach. Please don’t stop
I’m glad you’re back safely xxxx
Thank you for the comment Kate, it made me smile :) I'm so glad you like the videos. Take care! ❤️
First of all lovely to see fig, he's adorable 😍
At the moment you sound very much like where I'm at, I'm not sure if it's quasi recovery we're in or just recovery itself!
I've gone back to my anorexia team to see if they can help, are you seeing a specialist?
Maybe you could set challenges on your channel that you and us could do?!
Thankyou so much for being so open and making me realise I'm not alone. By the way I'm 46 and still at home (it took me years before I got any help!), so seriously don't worry about living at home, your still so young💕
Hey Nicola! I'm happy to hear that you are also working towards recovery - I'm proud of you! it was definitely nice to see Fig again, I love that little rabbit 🐰 I am not seeing anyone at the moment but am considering reaching out to a naturopath or someone who can help me heal my gut! I hope to do a video on it soon. Thank you for the support, take care! ❤️
I love you're chanel as it is now, both eatingdisorder and you're "other" life, traveling, vloggs as long as it's you in the videos im happy! (sorry if the spelling is off, my first language is Swedish)
Aww so glad to hear that you like my channel :) it is nice to be diversifying my content a bit more. And I think you English is great! ❤️
This is amazing. I also have a problem with exercise, and because of that I now have arthritis. I don’t know if I have the willpower to have rules around exercise, but I try to exercise with others and participate in organised events so that there is a time limit because I know I would do it all day on my own.
Exercising with others in a structured class is a good idea. I'm thinking about signing up for classes at a nearby gym and just doing that a few times a week. I'm the same as you, I would exercise all day long if I could.
Just a btw your makeup is stunning x and just your general personality
Thank you so much! I wasn't wearing any in Costa Rica lol so it's a nice change ❤️
Fig!!!!! (and MJ!!!!!!) I myself am stuck in a quasi relapse and simultaneously quasi recovery, I know I have said this before, but the best thing about all of this is that you're not keeping it a secret. I'm working with a nutritional therapist and there are days when I'm not only on the struggle bus, I'm driving it, and I'm driving it off the cliff. I am taking a mini break from social media right now because its "bikini season" and I swear every post is about some kind of 6 week challenge or whatever (fill in the blank). Also, you're not a failure. Stop that right now. AND this is your channel and you can post what you want, I am here for whatever you want to share! Give Fig a squish for me ❤️
It's a hard place to be but we can get through it! I think it's important to be open and honest so others don't feel alone. Going through ED recovery can be extra challenging because a lot of people don't understand how difficult it can really be. Screw "bikini season"... but I totally agree. Taking a social media break is a good idea...I will be sure to give Fig a squish for you and say hello to Kitty for me ❤️
@@maddiejaneec 💯 One of the biggest challenges for me is that explaining to someone what goes through my mind, doesn't compute for them. My good friend Sara offered to take my bathroom scale and keep it at her place (so I could break the habit of daily weighing) and I said, I'll just go buy another one, and she was floored by that, but to me, it was the most rational, normal thing a person should do/would do. I am so sick of social media right now, I've had to mute so many people, and I feel bad, but I can't see that stuff right now. Have a great weekend, I'll give Kitty a pat for you! ❤️
@@prettywhenyouredrunk I’ve literally said the same thing to my friend about, “just get another one” 😂 it’s important to focus on yourself when people around you don’t understand. Keep going :)
Girl I’ve been in quasi recovery for like 5 months.....just plugging away,focusing on goals. I look forward to Saturday all week to see your videos! Even if you aren’t talking about Ed stuff, I love seeing someone in a similar situation working through it and living life! Probably cringey but it feels like I have a friend to relate to and recover with. And Fig makes me happy❤️. I think maybe a day in the life working through/challenging quasi recovery would be fantastic! And maybe a yoga video too, with Fig of course 💖. Take care, keep it up!!!!!
I am so happy to hear that you look forward to my videos ❤️ Not cringey at all, and I'm glad you can find some comfort through my channel. We can fight this together! 💪❤️ I should definitely do another yoga video, and of course with Fig. Keep fighting and have a great week! ❤️
Hi! Thanks for posting, as always 😊 lovely to see Fig again, she’s clearly happy to see you too!
In answer to your question I think you probably are in quasi recovery but I don’t think you’re stuck there. Life is long, we are never stuck in one place for ever.
Sending you aroha from Aotearoa 🌸
You are right, we are never stuck in one place for ever ❤️ Thank you for the reminder and sending love to you!
I don’t believe you are in quasi recovery to be honest! Maybe I am thinking of quasi recovery wrong…but I have found people in quasi recovery are people who claim to be in recovery yet continue to really restrict their diet and follow strict rules. They claim “I am eating more than I used to” or “I’m not purging anymore though so all is good” etc. I think that fact that you are questioning yourself and able to admit to where you need improvement is a MASSIVE step and not a step I have witnessed anyone in quasi recovery do! That is just my 2 cents worth!! I love all your videos….would love to see some of TO …. Maybe trying different restaurants etc! Way to go, Maddie!💜💜💜
So glad you like the videos and you might be right about quasi recovery... I just know that I don't want to go backwards. Would love to also show more of T.O! Thank you for the support :)
I love your videos but especially your ED ones. Your journey is so inspirational- I’ve spent the last few weeks really challenging my ED. Eating 2 New York Times cooking recipes a day- I was eating the same food everyday. I am now fine to eat any food that I cook at home woohoo… obviously there are exceptions like sugar. I’ll get there. I need to challenge eating out and at friends houses. I kinda feel like I could easily just maintain what I am doing and I would be fine… but I think if I don’t make it to full recovery I will just end up back to my ED at some point in the future… and I can’t do it all again… I’m not sure why I am saying all this… I guess I just want to say, I am on the journey too. Keep going
Hey Jennifer, so glad you like the videos :) I am so proud of you for challenging your ED. Making recipes from NYT sounds like a great idea! Eating out and seeing friends can be scary but with time it gets easier and becomes a lot of fun! I believe in you, keep going!
Ur hair and make up looks stunning here. :) Also il watch whatever u post because i like you as a youtuber :)
Thank you so much :) It 's a nice change from being in the jungle to have clean hair 😂 Take care!
Hi love🐇🐰🐇 u know i belive in u, u r amazing❤ omggg Figgggg so cuteee !!!!!
Hello :) Thank you 🐰❤️ Sending love!
If you need some motivation or encouragement I think the below podcast episode will really be worth listening to..especially from 8:15 onward in the episode. .I never forgot it once I heard it. .
515 | Dr. Wayne Dyer: “If You Would Like to Accomplish Something, You Must First Expect it of Yourself.”
The Quote of The Day Show
Thank you for the comment. I will be sure to look up the podcast. Take care! ❤️
You with your hair straight,Tan, GORGEOUS! I'm going to drop you a message via Instagram! Will probably edit this once I've watched it 🙂🌻 you deserve to live the life you deserve too. You and I am so alike (does that sound creepy 🤦🏼♀️🙄🤣-it wasn't meant too) 🌻 XX
Thank you 😜 Definitely a change from the jungle haha 😂
You are making a difference. I know that you are because you have made me really really think about me and my 'recovery' . You have helped me so much if you ask my husband he will vouch. Will definitely message you because YOU DO matter! You HAVE made a difference in your life as well as others! You DO look beautiful!- (I know I'm sorry that that's hard probably to hear) YOUR videos are amazing ALL of them . YOU DO make us smile (I am talking for us all now 🤦🏼♀️😜🤷🏼♀️) and you DO deserve to have that recognition that you have come this far which in itself is 🤯 I know that from myself. XX
@@756Nichols Your comment really made me smile, thank you! I truly appreciate the support I have from this TH-cam community and do not think I would be where I am today without the support from everyone. So thank you. I am proud of you for continuing to fight. Stay strong and sending lots of love and good vibes. ❤️
i appreciate you, my experience aligns with yours so deeply🤍🫂
And I appreciate YOU! Sending love and good vibes ❤️