I have been searching for this video for a decade, it saved my life when I was 18, and now I am 28. It randomly showed back up on my recommended page, and I had to come express my gratitude. Thank you for everything you do. :)💕
Thanks for coming back here to tell me and others that you survived and have the great kindness of returning here to show gratitude. I wish you so much strength and joy in life. Please subscribe to the channel and become part of this community of brave and good people.
Sleep is good but when you wake at 4 am and can’t get back to sleep and are feeling utter despair and overwhelming feeling of depression, with your stomach in knots, and even though you feel tired your brain wont switch off. I agree with you about sleep, unfortunately I’m struggling with sleep on top of a horrible depression
In that case you have to start building up your inner peace, bit by bit, so that even if you are awake at 4 am, you don't let yourself sink into the black hole of obsessive worry. Have a look at some of my other videos, for instance the one about worrying, or the one about creating inner peace. Step by step my friend, you will get yourself through that tunnel back into the light. Many of us will recognize your plight and will witness to the human ability for reshaping our lives. My book Rising from Existential Crisis may help too.
came home crying on balcony, listening to good good father by Chris tomlin, and gratitude by brandon lake, wailing my soul out, because I want to be closer to jesus and I don't know how to be, and because I miss and long for Bryan from the very core of my being
Dear TH-cam, not all of us come here because we are suicidal But because we encounter so many people that have these thoughts, and we need to talk to them. This is more for us training session,how to rescue people.
I am a Psychologist in the United States. When I was trained dynamic, existential therapies were still taught. The field is moving into Cognitive modalities, and obsessed with evidence based practice. I think that’s a mistake. Psychotherapy is powerful and suffering does not reside only in the “mind” it resides in the totality of the being and we need to “hold space” for one another. When we sit with another in their suffering we decrease our own. Compassion is far more healing than medication and the world needs more of it! Thank you for reminding me that I need to “get back to work” but first a lot of sleep. 🙏
@@trishbirchard1270 almost like a reset, sometimes when one has too much to drink, although feeling awful, there is a break with the past and slight hint at a new beginning, if that makes any sense.
Beautiful Emmy 💚 Like a sacred prayer throughput but particularly just at the last minute or so of your wise thinking which you give out to humanity. Much needed thinking. Mary 💚
Thank you for your videos. They have helped me to realise that we are simply overwhelmed, be it physically or mentally, and that we need to get out of our cage, take back our power, and become conscious of our problems.. They're hard to deal with, suicide often feels like the correct path... But as a species, as a being, as a people, part of our journey is to learn to conquer the problems. We don't know what comes after suicide, and we don't know the future, but the future holds something that we do know - being alive. :-)
@@maeriaemarie7119 we also know that when we courageously persist and face reality, we learn and get better at this game called living. We get to discover great joys and beauty and love and the wonders of nature as well as getting ever more confident in understanding the vagaries of our relationships with others.
I have been in an inescapable mental corner my entire life and know that there's no way of getting out of that trapped feeling besides departing reality. I feel like I am always on "battery save" mode because being fully present is too painful and energy-draining. Thank you for this video as I was able to connect with it. A few weeks ago I quit my job because it was fueling too many parts of my depression. I then went to Paris for a week to watch my favorite gymnasts at the Olympics. I am now in a "sleeping" phase similar to the one you were referring to, haha. I laughed when you brought that up because that was exactly my thought process as well! You might as well try hibernating for a period of time to get fully rejuvenated before continuing to contemplate the idea of leaving life because, at least with sleeping a lot, you get the chance to wake up again. I wish there was a pause switch next to our beds that allowed us to sleep for as long as we liked and we could then choose to wake up once we felt ready enough to take on the next day. I am too scared to do actual drugs so sleep has always been my go-to for escaping reality. Once again, thank you for your video. What has kept me alive is my mom and the fear of suicide regret. But as I get older, the pain is getting significantly worse. Right now, I am just trying my best to take life a few hours at a time and not look too far ahead because I tend to overwhelm myself by doing that. Thanks, again, for this video, Emmy!
What a wonderful self reflection. I love you having been to Paris to watch your favourite gymnasts at the Olympic games. I hope you make more such wonderful decisions and find a path in life that is a bit more gratifying for you. Just as gymnasts have to practice each day for many years to strengthen their muscles and to become more and more flexible, so we can train our inner courage and existential flexibility too. Have a look at this one: th-cam.com/video/LqOdJlneQQA/w-d-xo.htmlsi=lJUT3P2Hu_PBK35m
Thanks for understanding... I have been plagued with suicidal thoughts since before I knew there was a word for it. I have managed the thinking in various ways over the years, used reframing techniques since I was 10, meditation from 13... I have studied philosophy and theology and I have had many of those peak experiences which you refer to that have been in their way, perfect... and empowering. I adopted an attitude of openness and non judgement of not having expectations or making demands of others. I operate on radical letting go and challenging negativity, and promoting creative problem solving and self awareness.... And yet.... I am still misrepresented, still exploited and still punished every time I allow myself to believe and trust what someone else says. I don't see dishonesty or manipulation until I have been manoeuvred into a position where I let down my guard and open up to the possibility of things working out well... and no sooner have I done that.... It turns out I am a fool once more... This is even from people who tell me that they are going to bring some sunshine and make promises to not do exactly what they do and they are always seemingly above any criticism and instead I get blamed even if it's just simply untrue.... I seem to be an empty space that others feel able to project their own issues onto and nothing I say or do changes it.... I said this to someone who then went on to do the very same thing even after they said they would never do it! It's been a struggle to recover... again and I ask myself what it is that life is trying to teach me... and it seems to be, (from experience....) that people a liars above everything else. They just want to be appear kind hearted or good natured or open minded to be accepted... and that despite what people say.... selfish sadistic cruelty is perfectly acceptable in reality but to actually trust or be open rather than just say it or to be helpful and supportive and considerate is punishable... but... I can't be anything else... so I get punished... for other people's behaviour.... scapegoated... people think it's okay to take out their frustrations on me to the extent that I genuinely think they'd rather watch me die to prove their own judgement of me correct than accept that they were unkind or unfair or that I have any substance. It's madness.... If I were to describe what people actually did to me, to them before they did it... they'd be outraged that anyone would consider them capable of being so mean... and yet they do it and aggressively defend it while they do it... no restraint and often there's not even a response to appeals to reason as though to object is also punishable (but at the same time I'll be told I am not being assertive as they shout me down for questioning their behaviour and motives! There is NO win...). There is no positive in it... I have asked other people to help me see it... I even offered money if they could tell me either what was it that justified the things that someone had done and what positive I could take from the experience... as I just could not see it! They could not give me one. And yet they remained friends with the person who did it and so did everyone else that we had known but they all just acted as though this other person didn't exists and any mention I made was simply ignored... and my inner being has been throwing the suicide option at me relentlessly for a an entire year... what it wants essentially is for my death to show the people who let me down how much it meant to me and to deprive them of the good natured individual that was always on hand or making an effort to contribute.. it hasn't had it's way...clearly... but only because I don't think it would have an impact...As I said, I think they'd rather I did.
i was backed in the dark corner of my mind earlier. The intent was so strong I was planning everything about doing it. But then I stood up and booted up the laptop and just opened youtube for music or what ever and what do you know, i saw this and knew i had to watch it
@@EmmyvanDeurzen Can I share this video on Instagram with a link to your channel? I am currently studying to become an existential psychologist, and I am studying your book «Existential Counseling and Psychotherapy in Practice». Thank you very much for your activity, it is very valuable.
I know what I need to do but it's been difficult to accomplish them. I'm just too tired to be strong. I need intervention/support now. I can't do it on my own, anymore
hey emmy! that was so amazing. keep inspiring people.👍👏💕💖. The Lord loves to bless people who are also a blessing to others. its because you're blessed.😊
Emmy, you advise us (7:26) to put the energy of feeling fed up with life towards the claiming of life. The problem is that I do not experience the "feeling fed up" as an energy at all. Quite the contrary, "feeling fed up" is a sensation that paralyzes me.
Hi Steef. Thanks for letting me know how this is for you. It suggests to me that what is lacking for you is a sense of freedom to feel what it is you need to claim your life. When I work with clients who feel this way we spend a lot of time figuring out what obstacles are stopping them and what forces are paralysing them. Liberation instead of claiming life has got to be the first port of call for you. I usually encourage people in this situation to find their rebellion.
Emmy, I am not really sure what you meant by “finding my rebellion.” The best answer I can come up with is that I rebel against living my life as so many of us do: making money, competing with others in every possible way and always thinking what others might think of me and letting that be my guide in life, disregarding my own wishes. I feel that that life leads me nowhere except death. Living like that does not satisfy me at all. I cannot think of an alternative way of living my life, though. In other words: I know what I do NOT want, but I do not know what I DO want.
Steef Scheepers Yes, that’s it exactly. You are half way there. You know what you don’t want, but you haven’t discovered what you do want. I suggest you read some of my books. Paradox and Passion would be a good place to start. Or Psychotherapy and the Quest for Happiness.
Very well put Emmy, I’m a very artistic, dreamy sort surrounded by practically minded people and eh I’m a straight white male and therefore out of favour with western society. I agree with what you say about the unknown after physical death, thanks a million……Great advise….
A good video for adults. But as i was listening, i was trying to figure out how a teen would make use of this advice? If he/she is trapped in a house where sleeping too much is a big no from parents. Or escaping that environment?
ayaan arif Different for teens. They have the additional burden of an entire life ahead of them. It’s an extra existential challenge, when you have no confidence that the world is a good place or that it will make space for you. Teens need encouragement and support so that they can find their way through to life. When they are suppressed by parents and environment they may completely lose track of all the wonderful possibilities that lie ahead.
Too much is said about suicide and nothing about the outer socioeconomic forces that impinges on us and gives rises to all manner of suffering. Dr Fromm says that "The grandeur of the Great Promise, the marvelous material and intellectual achievements of the industrial age, must be visualized in order to understand the trauma that realization of its failure is producing today. For the industrial age has indeed failed to fulfill its Great Promise, and ever growing numbers of people are becoming aware that: - Unrestricted satisfaction of all desires is not conducive to well being nor is it the way to happiness or even to maximum pleasure. -The dream of being independent masters of our lives ended when we began awakening to the fact that WE have all become cogs in the bureaucratic machine, with our thoughts, feelings, and tastes manipulated by government and industry and the mass communications that they control. -Economic progress has remained restricted to the rich nations, and the gap between rich and poor nations has ever widened. -Technical progress itself has created ecological dangers and the dangers of nuclear War, either or both of which may put an end to all civilization and possibly to all life" It ticks me off that the onus is placed too much on the individual and not on those in political power who dictate reality to the rest of us.
GnosisMan50 That is correct the world is currently in the process of destruction. I have no answer to that except to say that if God wanted to he could put it all back in 3 seconds. Mankind could fix everything too, but I am not holding my breath. I would suggest you try some form of Gnosis. But perhaps you have already. Do more. Every time you feel bad do a lot more. And then ... do more. There is a space for you on the far shore.
Give yourself a chance to tackle your low mood in all the other ways we know work. Change your lifestyle. Exercise. Go for walks in nature. Change your diet to a plant based nurturing diet. Cut out over processed foods. Drink less alcohol. Drink less coffee. Don't do drugs. Make sure to get better sleep hygiene and make sure you have eight hours of sleep each night. Do something good for people in your area without expecting payment or appreciation. Learn new skills, build yourself up. Have deep conversations with the people you care about. Read some good books. I would recommend you study Marcus Aurelius Meditations in a serious way, making notes. There is so much you can do to shift your mood that will not lead to withdrawal symptoms or un welcome side effects (like a loss of sexual drive). Learn to be a better person and look after yourself properly. It will be a revelation. Study, listen to good music. Do a new hobby. Just challenge yourself.
Very odd timing... I'm not, but my girlfriend did 2 years ago and I was just thinking about the possibility of... well anyway, weird that this popped up. I ain't my time and it ain't yours either. It wasn't hers, but she thought otherwise
Do you really think man will survive a few more centuries?.....certainly hope not. What do you advise someone with permanent neurological disability to do ?
Lots of sleeping needed....errrr.....not. She tells us to achieve something in the world. But this has been the problem all along. Because even if you do "achieve" some measure of success in the world, it is empty. (Usually it's just an exercise in futility from the start anyway).There's a void inside that can never be filled by this world. That's the problem here. Jesus said not to make your treasure that which rots into dust (paraphrase). I think he was right. Therefore, self-inflicted death is attractive when one realizes that this world is geared towards the worship and idolization of the transitory and ephemeral (in whatever form that takes). I don't think suicide is any kind of ultimate solution however. She's right when she says we don't know what's on the other side of death. And if reincarnation is real, then we will have to come back and do the whole thing over again - especially if we commit suicide. So we're back to dealing with this shit-realm (which this earth is, or at least the human society aspect we have to deal with). The question that needs addressing is how to get through this day with a minimum of suffering. Many people just can't afford to go off on their own for several days to "sort things out" on their own. And many might just go off and commit suicide anyway. We have to deal with today and all the shit we have to deal with. No answer on how to do this coming from miss existential. Mostly shallow advice if you ask me.
Gregorio Ganesh Good points. I hear you. People who haven't been close to the edge cannot understand. The nightmare story of the world is just a story in your head; consider that. That's the first thing. It is a nightmare story, strongly reinforced by our stupid culture ... but in the end it is a story. Reality is different. Second thing is, big problems need big solutions. I recommend some form of meditation. It is a no-BS practice. You sit and face yourself. No teachers (hopefully), no therapists, no other people. Just you and life. Sit and face yourself. Finally. What a relief. The Goenka Vipassana centres do 10 day courses for free. Do it, it helps many many people, a lot. It can change your life. And it is free. And powerful. Just drag yourself there and do it. As for finding someone who understands Osho had a lot to say about how false and stupid the world is, and it is great that other people can see it. Also some good funny comedy shows and pizza are good. Some days will be difficult.
Gregorio Ganesh You cannot afford to sleep...? Or are you to afraid to sleep in the streets? If everything ends then it was all worth naught? Maybe so, maybe not. There is no answer to that question but there is a small parable that may help... there was a young boy walking the beach one night throwing individual starfish who had washed up ashore and were drying out back into the water. When an older lady came by and saw what he was doing she asked "Why do you throw them back? There's too many of them to ever make a difference." And the boy simply replied "Made a difference to that one" and went on doing as he had done. If life is all we have and death is guaranteed, then only life and death have true objective worth; if this holds true at the end of the 'day', then why not make every moment count that you have while your here, and never end your life in vain? These are simply words I remind myself of often, to tell myself that even if temporary, all is never lost, and if life is the only thing we 'know' of, in a way it's permanent within itself. Even if I commit suicide, it will not be vain, it will simply be to meet an old friend in my own terms.
@@kadijahs That fills me with a warm feeling of kinship with you. I send you blessings for a hard earned future and trust you will find some pleasant surprises on your path ahead.
I have been searching for this video for a decade, it saved my life when I was 18, and now I am 28. It randomly showed back up on my recommended page, and I had to come express my gratitude. Thank you for everything you do. :)💕
Thanks for coming back here to tell me and others that you survived and have the great kindness of returning here to show gratitude. I wish you so much strength and joy in life. Please subscribe to the channel and become part of this community of brave and good people.
Sleep is good but when you wake at 4 am and can’t get back to sleep and are feeling utter despair and overwhelming feeling of depression, with your stomach in knots, and even though you feel tired your brain wont switch off. I agree with you about sleep, unfortunately I’m struggling with sleep on top of a horrible depression
In that case you have to start building up your inner peace, bit by bit, so that even if you are awake at 4 am, you don't let yourself sink into the black hole of obsessive worry. Have a look at some of my other videos, for instance the one about worrying, or the one about creating inner peace. Step by step my friend, you will get yourself through that tunnel back into the light. Many of us will recognize your plight and will witness to the human ability for reshaping our lives. My book Rising from Existential Crisis may help too.
@@EmmyvanDeurzen Thankyou
@@EmmyvanDeurzen legend
came home crying on balcony, listening to good good father by Chris tomlin, and gratitude by brandon lake, wailing my soul out, because I want to be closer to jesus and I don't know how to be, and because I miss and long for Bryan from the very core of my being
@@RainFall-wz2yp Glad you found my channel. If you are seeking to get closer to the spirit of life, you are in good company.
Dear TH-cam, not all of us come here because we are suicidal But because we encounter so many people that have these thoughts, and we need to talk to them. This is more for us training session,how to rescue people.
Tender, sincere, insightful and kind…
I am a Psychologist in the United States. When I was trained dynamic, existential therapies were still taught. The field is moving into Cognitive modalities, and obsessed with evidence based practice. I think that’s a mistake. Psychotherapy is powerful and suffering does not reside only in the “mind” it resides in the totality of the being and we need to “hold space” for one another. When we sit with another in their suffering we decrease our own. Compassion is far more healing than medication and the world needs more of it! Thank you for reminding me that I need to “get back to work” but first a lot of sleep. 🙏
@@AliceClaggett-ou7kb The world certainly needs more compassion!
you saved my life today
thank you
@@ptrcktylr stay well.
And the sleeping suggestion is spot on!
You are so beneficial to the Earth.
Don’t go away, Emmmie!
🌏🌎💜🐾❤️🥰💛🧡💚
@@trishbirchard1270 Thanks so much.
@@trishbirchard1270 almost like a reset, sometimes when one has too much to drink, although feeling awful, there is a break with the past and slight hint at a new beginning, if that makes any sense.
Watched this 2 years ago and just wanted to come back and say thanks
I’m seeing this 10 years after you posted it and I am so grateful to have found you. Thank you
@@charlenewallmark1187 I am glad you did and I welcome you to my channel.
this is a truly inspirational video. As someone who both survived a suicide attempt and is training to be a therapist, I got a lot out of it.
Thank you, Emmy, very compelling. You didn't edit any of this which proves that you are authentic. One simply has to listen to you.
Yes, too true: never edit any of it! Just post it as it comes out. You are the first person who has remarked on that.
Wonderfully clear and compassionate Prof. Van Deurzen. I was touched when I saw this clip. Thank you.
پ
Beautiful Emmy 💚
Like a sacred prayer throughput but particularly just at the last minute or so of your wise thinking which you give out to humanity. Much needed thinking.
Mary 💚
Thank you so very much. I felt as if you were talking directly to me.
Thank you for your videos.
They have helped me to realise that we are simply overwhelmed, be it physically or mentally, and that we need to get out of our cage, take back our power, and become conscious of our problems.. They're hard to deal with, suicide often feels like the correct path... But as a species, as a being, as a people, part of our journey is to learn to conquer the problems. We don't know what comes after suicide, and we don't know the future, but the future holds something that we do know - being alive. :-)
@@maeriaemarie7119 we also know that when we courageously persist and face reality, we learn and get better at this game called living. We get to discover great joys and beauty and love and the wonders of nature as well as getting ever more confident in understanding the vagaries of our relationships with others.
This is so important. Thank you for posting Emmy.
***** thanks.
Incredible & blessed. Thank you
You are saving me.
Thank you for this.
❤
@@Fidram be well my friend. You are precious.
I have been in an inescapable mental corner my entire life and know that there's no way of getting out of that trapped feeling besides departing reality. I feel like I am always on "battery save" mode because being fully present is too painful and energy-draining. Thank you for this video as I was able to connect with it. A few weeks ago I quit my job because it was fueling too many parts of my depression. I then went to Paris for a week to watch my favorite gymnasts at the Olympics. I am now in a "sleeping" phase similar to the one you were referring to, haha. I laughed when you brought that up because that was exactly my thought process as well! You might as well try hibernating for a period of time to get fully rejuvenated before continuing to contemplate the idea of leaving life because, at least with sleeping a lot, you get the chance to wake up again. I wish there was a pause switch next to our beds that allowed us to sleep for as long as we liked and we could then choose to wake up once we felt ready enough to take on the next day. I am too scared to do actual drugs so sleep has always been my go-to for escaping reality. Once again, thank you for your video. What has kept me alive is my mom and the fear of suicide regret. But as I get older, the pain is getting significantly worse. Right now, I am just trying my best to take life a few hours at a time and not look too far ahead because I tend to overwhelm myself by doing that. Thanks, again, for this video, Emmy!
What a wonderful self reflection. I love you having been to Paris to watch your favourite gymnasts at the Olympic games. I hope you make more such wonderful decisions and find a path in life that is a bit more gratifying for you. Just as gymnasts have to practice each day for many years to strengthen their muscles and to become more and more flexible, so we can train our inner courage and existential flexibility too. Have a look at this one: th-cam.com/video/LqOdJlneQQA/w-d-xo.htmlsi=lJUT3P2Hu_PBK35m
you're in my prayer
Thanks for understanding... I have been plagued with suicidal thoughts since before I knew there was a word for it. I have managed the thinking in various ways over the years, used reframing techniques since I was 10, meditation from 13... I have studied philosophy and theology and I have had many of those peak experiences which you refer to that have been in their way, perfect... and empowering. I adopted an attitude of openness and non judgement of not having expectations or making demands of others. I operate on radical letting go and challenging negativity, and promoting creative problem solving and self awareness.... And yet.... I am still misrepresented, still exploited and still punished every time I allow myself to believe and trust what someone else says. I don't see dishonesty or manipulation until I have been manoeuvred into a position where I let down my guard and open up to the possibility of things working out well... and no sooner have I done that.... It turns out I am a fool once more... This is even from people who tell me that they are going to bring some sunshine and make promises to not do exactly what they do and they are always seemingly above any criticism and instead I get blamed even if it's just simply untrue.... I seem to be an empty space that others feel able to project their own issues onto and nothing I say or do changes it.... I said this to someone who then went on to do the very same thing even after they said they would never do it! It's been a struggle to recover... again and I ask myself what it is that life is trying to teach me... and it seems to be, (from experience....) that people a liars above everything else. They just want to be appear kind hearted or good natured or open minded to be accepted... and that despite what people say.... selfish sadistic cruelty is perfectly acceptable in reality but to actually trust or be open rather than just say it or to be helpful and supportive and considerate is punishable... but... I can't be anything else... so I get punished... for other people's behaviour.... scapegoated... people think it's okay to take out their frustrations on me to the extent that I genuinely think they'd rather watch me die to prove their own judgement of me correct than accept that they were unkind or unfair or that I have any substance. It's madness.... If I were to describe what people actually did to me, to them before they did it... they'd be outraged that anyone would consider them capable of being so mean... and yet they do it and aggressively defend it while they do it... no restraint and often there's not even a response to appeals to reason as though to object is also punishable (but at the same time I'll be told I am not being assertive as they shout me down for questioning their behaviour and motives! There is NO win...). There is no positive in it... I have asked other people to help me see it... I even offered money if they could tell me either what was it that justified the things that someone had done and what positive I could take from the experience... as I just could not see it! They could not give me one. And yet they remained friends with the person who did it and so did everyone else that we had known but they all just acted as though this other person didn't exists and any mention I made was simply ignored... and my inner being has been throwing the suicide option at me relentlessly for a an entire year... what it wants essentially is for my death to show the people who let me down how much it meant to me and to deprive them of the good natured individual that was always on hand or making an effort to contribute.. it hasn't had it's way...clearly... but only because I don't think it would have an impact...As I said, I think they'd rather I did.
Emmy, thank you for this video. It touched my heart.
i was backed in the dark corner of my mind earlier. The intent was so strong I was planning everything about doing it. But then I stood up and booted up the laptop and just opened youtube for music or what ever and what do you know, i saw this and knew i had to watch it
@@munch4593 Good. 👍
You are an amazing soul. You are a blessing. Keep teaching us.
A great teacher, a master in fact. Thank you Emmy. I learn so much from you
Thank you for this...
Thank you for this video ❤
Right there with you, my friend.
@@EmmyvanDeurzen Can I share this video on Instagram with a link to your channel?
I am currently studying to become an existential psychologist, and I am studying your book «Existential Counseling and Psychotherapy in Practice».
Thank you very much for your activity, it is very valuable.
Where did you come from ?
The algorithm has sent you my way .
Anyway , i thank you .
Great talk .
Very needed .
❤😂
@@normanmacfarlane6724 you are so very welcome, my friend.
thank you so much Emmy ❤️
Glad you found it.
Thank you ❤❤❤
Thank you so much.
So welcome.
So sweet and loving
Thank you Emmy
I know what I need to do but it's been difficult to accomplish them. I'm just too tired to be strong. I need intervention/support now. I can't do it on my own, anymore
Wonderful !
Many many thanks for this video
This is amazing
hey emmy! that was so amazing. keep inspiring people.👍👏💕💖. The Lord loves to bless people who are also a blessing to others. its because you're blessed.😊
Emmy, you advise us (7:26) to put the energy of feeling fed up with life towards the claiming of life. The problem is that I do not experience the "feeling fed up" as an energy at all. Quite the contrary, "feeling fed up" is a sensation that paralyzes me.
Hi Steef. Thanks for letting me know how this is for you. It suggests to me that what is lacking for you is a sense of freedom to feel what it is you need to claim your life. When I work with clients who feel this way we spend a lot of time figuring out what obstacles are stopping them and what forces are paralysing them. Liberation instead of claiming life has got to be the first port of call for you. I usually encourage people in this situation to find their rebellion.
Emmy, I am not really sure what you meant by “finding my rebellion.”
The best answer I can come up with is that I rebel against living my life as so many of us do: making money, competing with others in every possible way and always thinking what others might think of me and letting that be my guide in life, disregarding my own wishes. I feel that that life leads me nowhere except death. Living like that does not satisfy me at all.
I cannot think of an alternative way of living my life, though.
In other words: I know what I do NOT want, but I do not know what I DO want.
Steef Scheepers Yes, that’s it exactly. You are half way there. You know what you don’t want, but you haven’t discovered what you do want. I suggest you read some of my books. Paradox and Passion would be a good place to start. Or Psychotherapy and the Quest for Happiness.
Very well put Emmy, I’m a very artistic, dreamy sort surrounded by practically minded people and eh I’m a straight white male and therefore out of favour with western society. I agree with what you say about the unknown after physical death, thanks a million……Great advise….
@@RaeKearns Hold on to your own value. Hard to do when you are out of synch with the world around you. But we need dreamers very much in our world.
@@EmmyvanDeurzen consoling words Emmy, thanks a mill from Ireland
Many many thanks for this vedio
thank you
This is the proper use of technology~people helping each other.
One of them. Yes. We are now connected and do not have to feel isolated or alone with our troubles.
@EmmyvanDeurzen thank you for being there ❤️
A good video for adults. But as i was listening, i was trying to figure out how a teen would make use of this advice? If he/she is trapped in a house where sleeping too much is a big no from parents. Or escaping that environment?
ayaan arif Different for teens. They have the additional burden of an entire life ahead of them. It’s an extra existential challenge, when you have no confidence that the world is a good place or that it will make space for you. Teens need encouragement and support so that they can find their way through to life. When they are suppressed by parents and environment they may completely lose track of all the wonderful possibilities that lie ahead.
Thank you for this video :')
Too much is said about suicide and nothing about the outer socioeconomic forces that impinges on us and gives rises to all manner of suffering. Dr Fromm says that
"The grandeur of the Great Promise, the marvelous material and intellectual achievements of the industrial age, must be visualized in order to understand the trauma that realization of its failure is producing today. For the industrial age has indeed failed to fulfill its Great Promise, and ever growing numbers of people are becoming aware that:
- Unrestricted satisfaction of all desires is not conducive to well being nor is it the way to happiness or even to maximum pleasure.
-The dream of being independent masters of our lives ended when we began awakening to the fact that WE have all become cogs in the bureaucratic machine, with our thoughts, feelings, and tastes manipulated by government and industry and the mass communications
that they control.
-Economic progress has remained restricted to the rich nations, and the gap between rich and poor nations has ever widened.
-Technical progress itself has created ecological dangers and the dangers of nuclear War, either or both of which may put an end to all civilization and possibly to all life"
It ticks me off that the onus is placed too much on the individual and not on those in political power who dictate reality to the rest of us.
GnosisMan50
That is correct the world is currently in the process of destruction.
I have no answer to that except to say that if God wanted to he could put it all back in 3 seconds.
Mankind could fix everything too, but I am not holding my breath.
I would suggest you try some form of Gnosis.
But perhaps you have already.
Do more.
Every time you feel bad do a lot more.
And then ... do more.
There is a space for you on the far shore.
I listen again❤
Be well.
I’m considering taking anti depressants, though I’m not sure?
Give yourself a chance to tackle your low mood in all the other ways we know work. Change your lifestyle. Exercise. Go for walks in nature. Change your diet to a plant based nurturing diet. Cut out over processed foods. Drink less alcohol. Drink less coffee. Don't do drugs. Make sure to get better sleep hygiene and make sure you have eight hours of sleep each night. Do something good for people in your area without expecting payment or appreciation. Learn new skills, build yourself up. Have deep conversations with the people you care about. Read some good books. I would recommend you study Marcus Aurelius Meditations in a serious way, making notes. There is so much you can do to shift your mood that will not lead to withdrawal symptoms or un welcome side effects (like a loss of sexual drive). Learn to be a better person and look after yourself properly. It will be a revelation. Study, listen to good music. Do a new hobby. Just challenge yourself.
You might want to read my books Psychotherapy and the Quest for Happiness and Rising from Existential Crisis.
@@EmmyvanDeurzen Thanks so much
@@EmmyvanDeurzen I’ll have a look for them
@@justmadeit2good psychotherapy of the existential kind will also make a huge difference.
ive felt this as a young 14 year old i am but i had to comitt myself to god and tryed to listen to him
Very odd timing...
I'm not, but my girlfriend did 2 years ago and I was just thinking about the possibility of... well anyway, weird that this popped up.
I ain't my time and it ain't yours either. It wasn't hers, but she thought otherwise
@@JohnnyAllan-vj7sj It’s hard to lose someone to suicide. It blights many lives.
Do you really think man will survive a few more centuries?.....certainly hope not. What do you advise someone with permanent neurological disability to do ?
❤❤❤
WOW
I love you
Lots of sleeping needed....errrr.....not. She tells us to achieve something in the world. But this has been the problem all along. Because even if you do "achieve" some measure of success in the world, it is empty. (Usually it's just an exercise in futility from the start anyway).There's a void inside that can never be filled by this world. That's the problem here. Jesus said not to make your treasure that which rots into dust (paraphrase). I think he was right. Therefore, self-inflicted death is attractive when one realizes that this world is geared towards the worship and idolization of the transitory and ephemeral (in whatever form that takes). I don't think suicide is any kind of ultimate solution however. She's right when she says we don't know what's on the other side of death. And if reincarnation is real, then we will have to come back and do the whole thing over again - especially if we commit suicide. So we're back to dealing with this shit-realm (which this earth is, or at least the human society aspect we have to deal with). The question that needs addressing is how to get through this day with a minimum of suffering. Many people just can't afford to go off on their own for several days to "sort things out" on their own. And many might just go off and commit suicide anyway. We have to deal with today and all the shit we have to deal with. No answer on how to do this coming from miss existential.
Mostly shallow advice if you ask me.
Gregorio Ganesh Good points. I hear you. People who haven't been close to the edge cannot understand.
The nightmare story of the world is just a story in your head; consider that. That's the first thing.
It is a nightmare story, strongly reinforced by our stupid culture ... but in the end it is a story. Reality is different.
Second thing is, big problems need big solutions.
I recommend some form of meditation.
It is a no-BS practice. You sit and face yourself. No teachers (hopefully), no therapists, no other people. Just you and life. Sit and face yourself. Finally. What a relief.
The Goenka Vipassana centres do 10 day courses for free.
Do it, it helps many many people, a lot.
It can change your life. And it is free. And powerful.
Just drag yourself there and do it.
As for finding someone who understands Osho had a lot to say about how false and stupid the world is, and it is great that other people can see it.
Also some good funny comedy shows and pizza are good.
Some days will be difficult.
Gregorio Ganesh You cannot afford to sleep...? Or are you to afraid to sleep in the streets? If everything ends then it was all worth naught? Maybe so, maybe not. There is no answer to that question but there is a small parable that may help... there was a young boy walking the beach one night throwing individual starfish who had washed up ashore and were drying out back into the water. When an older lady came by and saw what he was doing she asked "Why do you throw them back? There's too many of them to ever make a difference." And the boy simply replied "Made a difference to that one" and went on doing as he had done. If life is all we have and death is guaranteed, then only life and death have true objective worth; if this holds true at the end of the 'day', then why not make every moment count that you have while your here, and never end your life in vain?
These are simply words I remind myself of often, to tell myself that even if temporary, all is never lost, and if life is the only thing we 'know' of, in a way it's permanent within itself. Even if I commit suicide, it will not be vain, it will simply be to meet an old friend in my own terms.
After looking at this I would really think about offing.
I feel this occasionally.sxxx w
Orld
It sounds like you have learned to recognize your capacity for despair and know how to find a way around it! Good for you.
Thank you ❤❤❤
You are extremely welcome. Wishing you some wonderful new discoveries in the world.
@@EmmyvanDeurzen I chose to continue my stay here because of your kind message. 🙏
@@kadijahs That fills me with a warm feeling of kinship with you. I send you blessings for a hard earned future and trust you will find some pleasant surprises on your path ahead.
Thank you
❤❤