Two years now. Mid 30s. Things have gotten worse. Isolated from my friends. I feel empty of being itself. Just an inanimate object walking responding to stimuli. I enjoyed your jargon free take. I miss my old self.
Thanks for speaking up. Your new self will be better than your old self. You will find your way if you keep doing the right things, in small ways, every day. Be well, my friend. This will be your year.
How are you doing now? I wish you courage and getting out into the beauty of the world. I am struggling too, but have found Dr. Emmy's messages so helpful. I feel some hope.
This is the most logical and simplistic explanation of our humanity identity and how we respond to life around us ..thank u for putting it so simply yet so relevant ❤❤
This may have been what I went through in 2009 when I was diagnosed with stage 3b cancer. I survived but it felt that everything had fallen away. the fake friends, seeing how dysfunctional my family is. It was like all my defenses and rationalizations were blown away like leaves in a wind. there was a time of about two years that felt somewhat like a profound depression where I examined my life and set about building a new life. It was a tough time but was well worth it. Thank you!!!!
"Be brave and all will be well" Emmy, a year ago I went through a profound crisis that completely changed my life and outlook. Your words in this and your other videos were some of the most real, meaningful and comforting words on the topic of existential dread. You were the only person I came across who said that bravery and courage is needed to get through an existential crisis, and your approach made it feel possible. At that time, I was convinced I was losing my mind and I would never be able to lead a normal life with the realisations I'd had about existence (e.g, it's absurdity, the somewhat unknown nature of the self, the unknowable nature of reality itself). I spent months having panic attacks while the new thoughts looped in my head, trying to distract myself from them. But I held on to your words and they've been at the foundation of my "recovery". I found (and I could be wrong) that there are not many people talking about this topic outside of new age and religious circles. After speaking to tons of other's who are in the same boat from all different backgrounds, this secular approach to existential dread is what's needed right now. Thank you. Your work is so important.
Angela Kate Webster That’s very gratifying to hear Angela. Thank you so much for letting me know. It will also give other people the courage to find their strength in tackling their problems and sorting them out, step by step.
My existential crisis happened when I learned what narcissism was, and that I was raised in a narcissist family, my world concept was that I was unworthy of anything, until I realized it was not me who was the issue. Since then everything changed for the best, once I’ve escaped ❤
Turned 30 not long ago. I've seen my parents grow older, and that is my existential crisis. I can't imagine a world without them. I do not fear death, but I do cherish time. I guess no one can live forever.
@@Demention94 We absorb our parents love and strength and as we start spreading it around we become ready to let go of the older generation. Be that which you would miss.
Thank you for explaining this. I am in this state right now. I know exactly what you’re talking about. I’ll look for my courage and strength. Thank you for the reassurance. ❤
Such a lovely, articulation of the dark night of the soul. While challenged to the absolute core of my fiber, I find myself with a far richer understanding of myself, others, the planet and the complexity of life. I have learned about letting go as opposed to giving up. I have learned that life is a fluid process, a dance, fire, water, wind. It is a series of such firestorms that one learns to recognize while in the midst and to reach out for the safety line we crafted for ourselves the last time around or that someone such as Ms. van Deurzen holds out for us. Thank you Emmy.
I had a psychedelic experience with ayahuasca 7 months ago. I have the worst existential crisis ever since then., but I am working through it and know it is a blessing in disguise.
I found you yesterday and am greatful for that. So much wisdom! I look forward to keep listening to your videos. They resonate with me on so many levels and the timing that your videos started popping up couldnt have been better! Have a great evening
Thank you for your words have given me the pieces I had lost to rebuild my puzzle. For the first time in 2 years I feel normalised to what I am experiencing. I am no longer resisting life's way. It has completely ripped apart every knowledge I had into pieces and therefore sense of what was real or what security anchors I had in place now no longer exists. Thanks to your words I can understand that new securities will eventually take place. Love and peace to you
I feel lucky to have found you Emmy with your beautiful profound wisdom and the the way you say it like poetry to galvanize myself and others. Thank you from Mary 💚
You ma'am, have an absolutely beautiful mind. I have been just devastated by the thoughts that I thought were plaguing might have actually been saving me. I do not know my place in the world. I do not have a purpose. I do not know if there will be anything after death, and I am afraid. I can see the peace that I might reach one day, but it seems so far off from this perspective.
Losing your mom is always an existential crisis. Moms hold our centre, right where our umbilical chord used to tie us to them. This is a sacred time when you are being reborn, or perhaps being born fully for the first time. So you have to be easy on yourself and mother yourself gently, just in the right way.
Thank You. I've been taking medicin and alcohol together last night and lately been sleeping very porely. I'm scared that my cognitiv ability will rapedly decrease. This is to me, an existentiell crisis late in my life. I've been through it several Times in my adolessence also. Spent a lot of time i mental hospital around in Sweden. I have proffesional help still now in my 70+ year of age. I'll try and stay brave. Thank You Emmy for sharing your expertice.
You might find it helpful to read my book Rising from Existential Crisis. Also Psychotherapy and the Quest for Happiness and Paradox and Passion. You clearly need to find a new and more constructive focus and purpose so that you can start appreciating and valuing yourself. All the best with that.
I’ve been unemployed and drifting for 12 years, no girlfriend for 10 years. Life makes no sense. I’m deeply depressed, I feel damaged, scared of the depression and where it’s leading , don’t sleep well and I think about life a lot. I’m 49, I don’t know who I am. I have thoughts about not being alive. It’s very scary, the mornings and middle of the night are the worst. Why have I allowed this to happen to me I don’t know. Why did I give up on myself. Maybe because I feel I’m a bad person at a deep level
Good questions. If you were a bad person at some point, you have now punished yourself thoroughly. Time to become a good person and that starts with doing good things for yourself and build your strength. Sleep will come when you begin to believe in yourself and are taking small steps in the right direction each day. Can you get some therapy at a free counselling service? Plenty of those around.
@@EmmyvanDeurzen Yes I’ve started talking therapy although I’m a bit hesitant to say deeply personal things as I feel somehow I’m giving too much of myself away and might feel a bit paranoid afterwards because of saying some deeply private things
@@justmadeit2 Thats very normal. There is part of you that wants to protect those parts that feel bad by not speaking of them. We are all mostly like that
+∆artemis if you check out plusguidance.com it's a platform for online therapists and there are many qualified existential therapist :-) really hope that helps.. i have been going on therapy myself there and transformed my life definitely
@@EmmyvanDeurzen The only truths I find through my experience and my senses lead to nihilism, that is the core of the problem. How to accept the emptiness of it all and still make something out of it. It seems nobody cracked the code without any faith of some sort. Thanks again for your generosity in sharing.
I wish I could hear some information regarding the topic discussed here, dedicated to people over 60. It's an important time and certainly the most challenging of all existential time periods. I feel the whole subject of what people over 60 (whatever...you know...older people) is sorely neglected. This is certainly true in the USA. Older people are seen as doddering and unimportant. After all....they will be dead soon...and so old looking.
I thought I was having one but now I want one. Just kidding! 😊 Actually... I think I'm in the middle of one. There's no war in my country... but there's one "war" inside my home... and another inside me... while I'm trying to figure out what to do and whom to be. But in this context of many (enough about me), I always think that... there's something wrong here. Why do we humans keep making the same mistakes? Are we that stupid? Because what I am actually trying to point out is that tiny detail about the existential failure - and recently noted collapse - of humanity. I mean, there will always be a dictator that suddenly started pushing all of the war-buttons... and no one... but no one knows how to stop him (not even many of his own citizens). These won't even rebel... and start a revolution (in Russia). So if we are experiencing another failure at macro scale since the "political institution" don't know what to do, since people continue to be at the brink of electing (again) another pseudo-dumb-dictator... at the same time, in my country there has been concerning news about our prime minister had the idea of implementing in school's early years the discipline: Citizenship. Yes, and here we are in the beautiful year of 2024. Seems like we are all kids again, returning to the basics that should have always been there -maybe - while society collapses, and rage erupts in the suburbs streets... with the less favored... in this never ending cycle of repetition. If my country is a more micro-ish scale of macro... I could say the same about the most important one: the micro scale of... family (where it all starts). So... about this existential collapse of humanity... how to figure out... an App for that? Or uploading a robust "software" (like Neo in the Matrix) so we could... figure it all out right away in early years? Of course, there will be always a... deceiving boss that will try to earn his money at one's expenses. But at this micro-ish scale... we would have the tools to deal with that. And I didn't. I didn't know what to do with the most basic of the basic thing. No support. No family... instructions pointing a direction... since they had already lived in. No. There's no... "relay" in life (as in athletics). So... the fundamental question: - When Humanity will finally create an App for that, huh? "Citizenship". OK. But... let's implement a mandatory existential therapy session per day for every human. How about that? Add your own ideas below (if you were brave enough to read this), citizen. Let's start a revolution right away! (😁)
From the Oxford English Dictionary: Existential.: Relating to existence. (Adj, with multiple meanings depending upon context) Crisis.: A time of intense difficulty or danger: (noun) Therefore an Existential Crisis is, in the common parlance, any moment in which one feels one's existence (i.e. Life) is under significant and immediate threat. Such as: "Oh shit X has a gun and intends to kill me with it." In other words, an immediate threat on your life is an "existential crisis" (a real big, oh f**k of a one) .Or, just as a for instance, " Global temperature levels are likely to rise by up to 7 degrees within our lifetime unless we get our shit together". This is also an "existential crisis" (i.e. a situation that is imminent , extreme likely to cause death. Bigly) Linguistically speaking an existential crisis is anything that imminently threatens your life.(ie it may KILL you) in other words, and here is the big winner, ready? ... ANYTHING that Genuinely threatens your life, that is your ability to keep BREATHING, right NOW... is an existential crisis... OK. In case I have not been explicit enough: THE THREAT OF IMMINENT DEATH OR THE PERSISTENT THREAT THEREOF IS THE ONLY SITUATION IN WHICH YOU CAN EVOKE THE EXISTENTIAL CRISIS CLAUSE. OK? A crisis of belief, or meaning is only an existential crisis when you buy into the idea that belief or meaning are essential to your very existence, which If you think about it, is clearly bonkers... My point is that a crisis of doubt, of questioning everything you once took for granted, or facing the reality of an uncertain, contingent and groundless existence is not a life threatening situation. Facing such a situation is only possible when you're secure in your day to day needs. In other words, The Existential Crisis as imagined / experienced by anyone who has not faced the immediate day to day reality of their own death is an ugly sham that dishonours the memory of those like Viktor Frankl, Siegfried Sassoon, Wilfred Owen, Nelson Mandela and countless others who had no choice but to find either an attitude or a language of resistance in the face of a genuinely life threatening situation. or, HAVING A BAD DAY IS NOT AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS YOU FUCKING LIGHT WEIGHT
Two years now. Mid 30s. Things have gotten worse. Isolated from my friends. I feel empty of being itself. Just an inanimate object walking responding to stimuli. I enjoyed your jargon free take. I miss my old self.
Thanks for speaking up. Your new self will be better than your old self. You will find your way if you keep doing the right things, in small ways, every day. Be well, my friend. This will be your year.
How are you doing now? I wish you courage and getting out into the beauty of the world. I am struggling too, but have found Dr. Emmy's messages so helpful. I feel some hope.
@@MaryDBethanysame here. You are not alone ❤
Hope you're doing better, mate. Love from downunda. 🦘
This extremely relaxed approach to the way these podcasts are being presented is absolutely fabulous indeed !! Salute 🫡
This is the most logical and simplistic explanation of our humanity identity and how we respond to life around us ..thank u for putting it so simply yet so relevant ❤❤
Glad it made sense to you and thanks for letting me know.
This may have been what I went through in 2009 when I was diagnosed with stage 3b cancer. I survived but it felt that everything had fallen away. the fake friends, seeing how dysfunctional my family is. It was like all my defenses and rationalizations were blown away like leaves in a wind. there was a time of about two years that felt somewhat like a profound depression where I examined my life and set about building a new life. It was a tough time but was well worth it. Thank you!!!!
"Be brave and all will be well" Emmy, a year ago I went through a profound crisis that completely changed my life and outlook. Your words in this and your other videos were some of the most real, meaningful and comforting words on the topic of existential dread. You were the only person I came across who said that bravery and courage is needed to get through an existential crisis, and your approach made it feel possible.
At that time, I was convinced I was losing my mind and I would never be able to lead a normal life with the realisations I'd had about existence (e.g, it's absurdity, the somewhat unknown nature of the self, the unknowable nature of reality itself). I spent months having panic attacks while the new thoughts looped in my head, trying to distract myself from them. But I held on to your words and they've been at the foundation of my "recovery".
I found (and I could be wrong) that there are not many people talking about this topic outside of new age and religious circles. After speaking to tons of other's who are in the same boat from all different backgrounds, this secular approach to existential dread is what's needed right now. Thank you. Your work is so important.
Angela Kate Webster That’s very gratifying to hear Angela. Thank you so much for letting me know. It will also give other people the courage to find their strength in tackling their problems and sorting them out, step by step.
Thank you so much for your kind and wise-words!!!
My existential crisis happened when I learned what narcissism was, and that I was raised in a narcissist family, my world concept was that I was unworthy of anything, until I realized it was not me who was the issue. Since then everything changed for the best, once I’ve escaped ❤
Thank you Emmy, such a wise words! They helped me to see clear that everything is okay the way it is.
Turned 30 not long ago. I've seen my parents grow older, and that is my existential crisis. I can't imagine a world without them. I do not fear death, but I do cherish time. I guess no one can live forever.
@@Demention94 We absorb our parents love and strength and as we start spreading it around we become ready to let go of the older generation. Be that which you would miss.
Thank you for explaining this. I am in this state right now. I know exactly what you’re talking about. I’ll look for my courage and strength. Thank you for the reassurance. ❤
@@chandiniregidi8942 make the most of your transformation and build you inner strength and confidence.
Yes, I am in that crisis right now!! Thank you for such clarity.
Such a lovely, articulation of the dark night of the soul. While challenged to the absolute core of my fiber, I find myself with a far richer understanding of myself, others, the planet and the complexity of life. I have learned about letting go as opposed to giving up. I have learned that life is a fluid process, a dance, fire, water, wind. It is a series of such firestorms that one learns to recognize while in the midst and to reach out for the safety line we crafted for ourselves the last time around or that someone such as Ms. van Deurzen holds out for us. Thank you Emmy.
I had a psychedelic experience with ayahuasca 7 months ago. I have the worst existential crisis ever since then., but I am working through it and know it is a blessing in disguise.
Phillip ... didn’t Ayahuasca helps you in some way? Or made it worse ?
Yes me to but LSD weed n shrooms
I found you yesterday and am greatful for that. So much wisdom! I look forward to keep listening to your videos.
They resonate with me on so many levels and the timing that your videos started popping up couldnt have been better! Have a great evening
@@whatelse2962 Glad you found my channel. Welcome!
Thank you Emmy, Friend of humanity 🙏
“Courage my friend” were words that dropped deep inside me. This video explains so much. Thank you so much 💛
We continue to need that courage, dear Kate. Every day. Be well.
Thank you for your words have given me the pieces I had lost to rebuild my puzzle. For the first time in 2 years I feel normalised to what I am experiencing. I am no longer resisting life's way. It has completely ripped apart every knowledge I had into pieces and therefore sense of what was real or what security anchors I had in place now no longer exists. Thanks to your words I can understand that new securities will eventually take place. Love and peace to you
I feel lucky to have found you Emmy with your beautiful profound wisdom and the the way you say it like poetry to galvanize myself and others. Thank you from Mary 💚
@@favouritemusic8959 welcome
You ma'am, have an absolutely beautiful mind. I have been just devastated by the thoughts that I thought were plaguing might have actually been saving me. I do not know my place in the world. I do not have a purpose. I do not know if there will be anything after death, and I am afraid. I can see the peace that I might reach one day, but it seems so far off from this perspective.
Nat Lopez keep looking, keep thinking, keep going and you will get clarity and strength
I lost my mother suddenly three weeks ago ……. I believe this is happening to me
Losing your mom is always an existential crisis. Moms hold our centre, right where our umbilical chord used to tie us to them. This is a sacred time when you are being reborn, or perhaps being born fully for the first time. So you have to be easy on yourself and mother yourself gently, just in the right way.
thank you again Dearest one.
Life is but a series of existential crises. This makes much sense. Thank you always, for your perspective
I am so grateful for the work you do! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
I'm currently having my first crisis, and this video really helped make sense of what I'm feeling. Thank you very much.
Thank You.
I've been taking medicin and alcohol together last night
and lately been sleeping very porely.
I'm scared that my cognitiv ability will rapedly decrease.
This is to me, an existentiell crisis late in my life.
I've been through it several Times in my
adolessence also. Spent a lot of time i
mental hospital around in Sweden.
I have proffesional help still now in my 70+ year of age.
I'll try and stay brave.
Thank You Emmy for sharing your expertice.
You might find it helpful to read my book Rising from Existential Crisis. Also Psychotherapy and the Quest for Happiness and Paradox and Passion. You clearly need to find a new and more constructive focus and purpose so that you can start appreciating and valuing yourself. All the best with that.
@@EmmyvanDeurzen do you think I can
get these books from Amazon?
@@hassestrand7302 yes, you can.
I’ve been unemployed and drifting for 12 years, no girlfriend for 10 years. Life makes no sense. I’m deeply depressed, I feel damaged, scared of the depression and where it’s leading , don’t sleep well and I think about life a lot. I’m 49, I don’t know who I am. I have thoughts about not being alive. It’s very scary, the mornings and middle of the night are the worst. Why have I allowed this to happen to me I don’t know. Why did I give up on myself. Maybe because I feel I’m a bad person at a deep level
Good questions. If you were a bad person at some point, you have now punished yourself thoroughly. Time to become a good person and that starts with doing good things for yourself and build your strength. Sleep will come when you begin to believe in yourself and are taking small steps in the right direction each day. Can you get some therapy at a free counselling service? Plenty of those around.
@@EmmyvanDeurzen Yes I’ve started talking therapy although I’m a bit hesitant to say deeply personal things as I feel somehow I’m giving too much of myself away and might feel a bit paranoid afterwards because of saying some deeply private things
Pleased to hear that. The more you trust and speak about everything and the quicker you will improve. @@justmadeit2
@@EmmyvanDeurzen I just feel anxious about discussing certain things. I dunno
@@justmadeit2 Thats very normal. There is part of you that wants to protect those parts that feel bad by not speaking of them. We are all mostly like that
Thank you so much for this video. This has been so comforting!
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. Your video helped me quite a bit in making sense of what I'm going through.
Thanks for once again delivering a powerful message with such a deep life wisdom!
Oh, thank you so much for this video!
You are most welcome. Appreciate your kind words.
Thank you for this video. I really needed this.
A existential crisis is when the methods of terror management fail a person. The methods are many but the crisis is familiar to all.
That's one way of looking at it!
thank you - this is lovely
Thank you!
This has helped me so much. Please make more videos, you are brilliant. Also, do you do online counseling?
Thank you so much.
thank you so much, i so needed this
I love this by the way. So accurate.
Thanks Emmy. x
Thank you.
What are some actionable steps someone who's having an existential crisis can take?
+∆artemis if you check out plusguidance.com it's a platform for online therapists and there are many qualified existential therapist :-) really hope that helps.. i have been going on therapy myself there and transformed my life definitely
Twinkly Tus Thank you so much!
This video might have saved my life.
Duy Dao Bless you. Be well.
How can you expect anyone to take part in that game then, if it’s warped from start?
Unless you construct stories/spiritualities.
@@alricmarchand2877 Or you reject the warped games and go in search of truth. Which is what I decided to do when I was 17.
@@EmmyvanDeurzen The only truths I find through my experience and my senses lead to nihilism, that is the core of the problem. How to accept the emptiness of it all and still make something out of it. It seems nobody cracked the code without any faith of some sort. Thanks again for your generosity in sharing.
@@alricmarchand2877 That's not true. I suggest you read the Goff book.
Timely for todays world . . .
really helpful, thanks :)
Nature shows that security is an illusion
please guide me to enhance my willpower
I might do a video on that soon.
@@EmmyvanDeurzen It’s a vital topic! Our attention wanders
How do I make it stop?
Look at my other videos for some answers.
thank you :)
youre cool
I wish I could hear some information regarding the topic discussed here, dedicated to people over 60. It's an important time and certainly the most challenging of all existential time periods. I feel the whole subject of what people over 60 (whatever...you know...older people) is sorely neglected. This is certainly true in the USA. Older people are seen as doddering and unimportant. After all....they will be dead soon...and so old looking.
Happy to oblige. You are right. The old and wise need to start affirming their rights.
I thought I was having one but now I want one. Just kidding! 😊 Actually... I think I'm in the middle of one. There's no war in my country... but there's one "war" inside my home... and another inside me... while I'm trying to figure out what to do and whom to be. But in this context of many (enough about me), I always think that... there's something wrong here. Why do we humans keep making the same mistakes? Are we that stupid? Because what I am actually trying to point out is that tiny detail about the existential failure - and recently noted collapse - of humanity. I mean, there will always be a dictator that suddenly started pushing all of the war-buttons... and no one... but no one knows how to stop him (not even many of his own citizens). These won't even rebel... and start a revolution (in Russia). So if we are experiencing another failure at macro scale since the "political institution" don't know what to do, since people continue to be at the brink of electing (again) another pseudo-dumb-dictator... at the same time, in my country there has been concerning news about our prime minister had the idea of implementing in school's early years the discipline: Citizenship. Yes, and here we are in the beautiful year of 2024. Seems like we are all kids again, returning to the basics that should have always been there -maybe - while society collapses, and rage erupts in the suburbs streets... with the less favored... in this never ending cycle of repetition. If my country is a more micro-ish scale of macro... I could say the same about the most important one: the micro scale of... family (where it all starts).
So... about this existential collapse of humanity... how to figure out... an App for that? Or uploading a robust "software" (like Neo in the Matrix) so we could... figure it all out right away in early years? Of course, there will be always a... deceiving boss that will try to earn his money at one's expenses. But at this micro-ish scale... we would have the tools to deal with that. And I didn't. I didn't know what to do with the most basic of the basic thing. No support. No family... instructions pointing a direction... since they had already lived in. No. There's no... "relay" in life (as in athletics).
So... the fundamental question:
- When Humanity will finally create an App for that, huh?
"Citizenship". OK. But... let's implement a mandatory existential therapy session per day for every human. How about that? Add your own ideas below (if you were brave enough to read this), citizen. Let's start a revolution right away! (😁)
@@MrPinkfloydian quite a flourish!
@@EmmyvanDeurzen sorry for that (😂 kidding)
❤
when you realise You is all there was - when you're no longer here. after that its a walk in the park.
From the Oxford English Dictionary:
Existential.: Relating to existence. (Adj, with multiple meanings depending upon context)
Crisis.: A time of intense difficulty or danger: (noun)
Therefore an Existential Crisis is, in the common parlance, any moment in which one feels one's existence (i.e. Life) is under significant and immediate threat. Such as: "Oh shit X has a gun and intends to kill me with it." In other words, an immediate threat on your life is an "existential crisis" (a real big, oh f**k of a one) .Or, just as a for instance, " Global temperature levels are likely to rise by up to 7 degrees within our lifetime unless we get our shit together". This is also an "existential crisis" (i.e. a situation that is imminent , extreme likely to cause death. Bigly)
Linguistically speaking an existential crisis is anything that imminently threatens your life.(ie it may KILL you) in other words, and here is the big winner, ready? ... ANYTHING that Genuinely threatens your life,
that is
your ability to keep BREATHING,
right NOW...
is an existential crisis...
OK. In case I have not been explicit enough: THE THREAT OF IMMINENT DEATH OR THE PERSISTENT THREAT THEREOF IS THE ONLY SITUATION IN WHICH YOU CAN EVOKE THE EXISTENTIAL CRISIS CLAUSE. OK?
A crisis of belief, or meaning is only an existential crisis when you buy into the idea that belief or meaning are essential to your very existence, which If you think about it, is clearly bonkers...
My point is that a crisis of doubt, of questioning everything you once took for granted, or facing the reality of an uncertain, contingent and groundless existence is not a life threatening situation. Facing such a situation is only possible when you're secure in your day to day needs. In other words,
The Existential Crisis as imagined / experienced by anyone who has not faced the immediate day to day reality of their own death is an ugly sham that dishonours the memory of those like Viktor Frankl, Siegfried Sassoon, Wilfred Owen, Nelson Mandela and countless others who had no choice but to find either an attitude or a language of resistance in the face of a genuinely life threatening situation.
or,
HAVING A BAD DAY IS NOT AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS YOU FUCKING LIGHT WEIGHT
Wow. Dave Mustain looks......different now.
Thank You.
Thank you.