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How Narcissists Keep You From Moving On - the Narcissists Last Lie

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ส.ค. 2024
  • For those who cannot budget the time or money for face to face coaching with Michele We are happy to announce video coaching is now available click the link below for more info:
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    We all know that narcissists lie, everything they've done from the very beginning was a lie, even who they portrayed who they were was a lie, it was a mirage, it was something to hook you into falling for them. Throughout the whole relationship it was nothing but lie after lie - but today I want to focus on the narcissists last lie - it's their last ditch effort to try to stop you from moving on, and having what they know you can have but what they know they never can have - and that's a truly happy, fulfilling life with reciprocal relationships. If you want to know what that last lie is, you wanna make sure you don't fall for it, you're gonna wanna watch this video. I've talked to many people in my coaching practice and something that I've noticed is for those people who finally recognizance the narcissist or the toxic person for who they are and they finally realize that they don't want part in that kind of a relationship, they put down a boundary whether they end the relationship or they just put the breaks on a little bit. They do something to show the narcissist that there's a boundary here and I no longer want it crossed. I even had one viewer send in an audio of his conversation with the female narcissist in his life where he was doing that, he was establishing a boundary. He wasn't necessarily breaking up with her but he was moving out and he wanted to have space, he wanted to have a boundary laid down. If you haven't seen that video make sure you watch it because then you'll understand this video a whole lot better, this is part one of his video of when he put down the boundary. When a person gets to that point and they put down that boundary they feel good, it feels really good because you're exercising self love, and self respect. You're basically telling yourself and showing others that you do not expect or will not tolerate abusive behavior and you're willing to make sure that nobody gives you that as well. When you give yourself that self love, when you take those steps to protect to love and yourself it feels good, but then the narcissist does something that completely flips your whole way of looking at it. When we are putting down a boundary in this way we're hoping that the other person loves and cares for us enough to respect that boundary. And the narcissist doesn't. We put that boundary down and suddenly they disappear, not only do they disappear but suddenly within 3 hours they're in another serious relationship. We haven't even begun to still heal from the pain of having to get to the point of putting down that boundary or discarding, or ending the relationship, or slowing it down. We're still healing from that because our emotions are involved in that.

ความคิดเห็น • 1.6K

  • @Ston247
    @Ston247 5 ปีที่แล้ว +358

    Their deadliest lie is...... I love you.

    • @normanleach9587
      @normanleach9587 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Your Vulcan image...I know the episode...and the last thing Spock says. Personally, I'm still pulling for them.

    • @Mike-xt2lh
      @Mike-xt2lh 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      The biggest lie my narc father ever told along with my ex girlfriend .

    • @IamSunil017
      @IamSunil017 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      It was love u alot... Lot... *alpha times for me... Now what...

    • @shawnthedude3632
      @shawnthedude3632 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      They keep saying it until you say it too ,if you repeat it enough you'll program yourself ,or they will with hold it until you say it first to draw them in either way your wasting time and love energy ect on people who don't deserve it ,,stop services to narc and serve homeless children especially now with COV 19 scam if your afraid think about starving kids ,💪let's go humans 💯🤸💓

    • @mercyarab973
      @mercyarab973 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      True .., that too for sex or money

  • @GLeon-ov9yu
    @GLeon-ov9yu 5 ปีที่แล้ว +788

    They never stop lying, ever! In fact the lies get bigger and become more frequent.

    • @Chris-0113
      @Chris-0113 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

      The only fair presumption is that everything that came out of her lips was a lie. I can't believe any of it.

    • @donkykong1823
      @donkykong1823 5 ปีที่แล้ว +29

      That's one good thing about the narc. Their lies become so ridiculous that you realize without a doubt how insane they are. That's when you know that they are desperate. They're throwing Hail Mary's, betting it all, going for broke bc they're running out of tricks and not getting the supply from you that they're used to. They are about to discard at that desperate hour. The crazy thing is that when they do this, they think that they're displaying more of their power, but really they're showcasing how pathetic and meaningless their lives are.. Without the heart, the mind becomes dumb.

    • @robynedward125
      @robynedward125 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@donkykong1823 the one thing I learned through the lies is It's not consistent my ex said I took off for 3 months I never did I printed up 2 yrs worth of pics at the time I didn't have the pics now I do. Hasn't been a yet with some other proof going up against them in court is nasty very I stick to my facts and not react at all to the lies. He's not even protecting his false image He's showing his true colors even to other family members He's been nasty I guess in my case he doesn't care about his image his true self came out the rage and is coming blinded by it and has been consumed by it.i Can't live in rage like that I have some how learned how to step out of it I have to so it won't consume me and I focused on my kids and put them first always. Don't react at all block the ex on fb and their friends and family I had to this so I wouldn't see any posts by them or they couldn't use this against me I'm sure it didn't stop them tho. You have to take measures to protect yourself. I trust no one because of the abuse letting ppl in is far and between for me unfortunately.

    • @eweiss406
      @eweiss406 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      @@robynedward125 Watch what they do to your kids. The courts-lawyers do not have the proper experience & training.

    • @robynedward125
      @robynedward125 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@eweiss406 Thanks Horrible I just want to resolve the marriage and the custody and my poor kids in all this breaks my heart.😥💔

  • @Vamsea
    @Vamsea 5 ปีที่แล้ว +956

    A hardcore narc: kicks you out of the house.
    Then blames you for leaving
    And will try to punish you for it.

    • @Barbara-oi3yi
      @Barbara-oi3yi 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

      vamsea yup happened to me. Right before I escaped too. I was too afraid to start packing anyway tho so sucks for them the truth comes out eventually

    • @elmorab.2921
      @elmorab.2921 5 ปีที่แล้ว +32

      I am going through the same. I created a boundary and two weeks later he kicked me out he thought the hurt & rescue was going to work but I said no! I'm now at my sis house with my son however my apt should be ready mid June and I believe then I will be able to exhale. Peace and Blessings

    • @stevenbrown3692
      @stevenbrown3692 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      Truth! That's how it played out for me. Shit really!

    • @amandagreen1974
      @amandagreen1974 5 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      Amen! Then after kicking you out and you have no where to go tells your family ; "I never kicked you out".

    • @NataleeJT1985
      @NataleeJT1985 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Mine demanded I pack up for him as I'm this and that they've had enough of me etc etc then said I was cold for doing so and had kicked them out😑

  • @AnikoLK
    @AnikoLK 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Don't go back!! The punishing part is horrible. I kept getting hoovered before I knew what I was dealing with and every time he would treat me like an enemy within hours of me letting him in. Even having a simple conversation with him is too painful because he just says hurtful things in such a cunning way. NO CONTACT!!! NO MERCY!!!

  • @Chris-0113
    @Chris-0113 5 ปีที่แล้ว +549

    Truth is, they've moved on long before they fill you in on the development. In many cases, they have already replaced you with a new, shiny toy before you know anything is amiss.

    • @donkykong1823
      @donkykong1823 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      How disgusting a machine they are. I'm sorry that happened to you.

    • @MidnightSky1821
      @MidnightSky1821 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Yup. All her IG posts where people to do her hair...when it really was dudes. Oh. And to her that was okay because she was "planning on leaving me."

    • @topkat8268
      @topkat8268 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Yes, mine did. Held onto me until he found someone else. Good luck to her. She's just being USED, like l was. Good riddance

    • @Chris-0113
      @Chris-0113 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@topkat8268 I'm sorry that happened to you. It happened to me too. It hurts so much, but you'll be stronger in the end because of it.

    • @kostasdimitriou1476
      @kostasdimitriou1476 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      that's very good. The bad thing is not all narcs are the same and if they think they can't replace you.... prepare for really ugly situations if you can't just leave or escape.

  • @lovemyfreedom5768
    @lovemyfreedom5768 5 ปีที่แล้ว +70

    They always lie! They lie about lying 🤥!

  • @rapunzelmane9592
    @rapunzelmane9592 5 ปีที่แล้ว +749

    The faster that someone moves on after a break-up the more certain you should be that you made the right decision in dumping them. They are showing everyone how shallow, insincere and cheap they are and their crowing on social media stinks of obvious desperation.

    • @donkykong1823
      @donkykong1823 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      WELL SAID

    • @rapunzelmane9592
      @rapunzelmane9592 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @Michael Orlow + Yes, definition: (of a person) to express great pride and triumph, especially in a tone of gloating satisfaction. Boast, brag, show-off, swagger, be smug.

    • @stickyandsweetie
      @stickyandsweetie 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

      Now im comfused n upset..he didn't do that or rub in my face that I know of ..but he said stuff that said similar .."one day you'll look back and realise you were wrong ..I'll be really good and thrive and you will merely survive." So he also tried to make me feel like that but in a different way right ?

    • @gabbygirl3951
      @gabbygirl3951 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@stickyandsweetie mine says those things too

    • @stickyandsweetie
      @stickyandsweetie 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@gabbygirl3951 it seems really immature..have you left yet ..I have . But I still hurt if I'm not looking after myself ! X I hope you can ...I'll be here ...dont believe anything he says!

  • @Lilghostpepper
    @Lilghostpepper 4 ปีที่แล้ว +69

    “You’re going to call me 2 weeks from now” - the last lie my ex told.

  • @vekylovesherself6079
    @vekylovesherself6079 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    He used to tell me I was weak, so I showed him brave. Bye Felicio!!

  • @grantderby216
    @grantderby216 5 ปีที่แล้ว +207

    There's nothing new under the sun. They reap what they sow. God bless.

    • @Chris-0113
      @Chris-0113 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I truly believe that. It's nature's way of keeping things balanced.

    • @trentsteel1542
      @trentsteel1542 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Love the name! 😂

    • @randythompson1652
      @randythompson1652 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I like that comment and I thank you for it but there is an exception... Those that have been abused and broken by the narcissistic mindset can't be healed in that statement.

    • @studentthe1560
      @studentthe1560 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Sad part is that they don't think that they ever will. Their entitlement is blinding.

    • @anniesjam4300
      @anniesjam4300 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@studentthe1560 amen.....

  • @backwatersandbackroads
    @backwatersandbackroads 5 ปีที่แล้ว +398

    They love to punish you. How dare you finally get away from them! They will punish you for as long as you'll allow them to

    • @scoobdooittoo
      @scoobdooittoo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Very well stated.

    • @kostasdimitriou1476
      @kostasdimitriou1476 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      they will punish you for trying not to lose your sense of having rights, if they can they won't let you have human rights, that has happened to me with my twisted father.

    • @Dastardly_X
      @Dastardly_X 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      🌟

    • @kleomenis456
      @kleomenis456 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      LOL well said.

    • @lefantomer
      @lefantomer 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      There is so much of this being modeled in the pop world now. Everything is getting revenge for "what you made me do" and the little girls suck it up. How do you get a 15-year-old to see what her beautiful idol is doing is narcissism and not being a healthy strong woman?

  • @rvz77
    @rvz77 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

    The last lie was "You'll never find anyone better than me. No woman will ever put up with you like I did."

    • @shaneed.9422
      @shaneed.9422 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Yesss they lice that lie 😂😂😂😂

    • @kenanspahovic9148
      @kenanspahovic9148 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      same

  • @narcissism-diaryofasurvivor1
    @narcissism-diaryofasurvivor1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +214

    i finally figured it out, the only thing that was keeping me from moving on was me!! once i went no contact and just stopped hyperfocusing on the past, and started focusing on myself, my life and my present I moved on and kept on moving.

    • @TiffTheTyrant
      @TiffTheTyrant 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Oh good! I’m no contact for a week now and it feels so good. I’m free :)

    • @robynosler5871
      @robynosler5871 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I'm finding it so hard not to look back.. and blame myselfstill
      I him he in these videos..and hear so much truth.. but my head just rattles on.. obsessing! how do u live on.. and on..

    • @TiffTheTyrant
      @TiffTheTyrant 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Robyn Osler I hear you. I do the same thing

    • @pisgah2715
      @pisgah2715 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      That's the best and only way to do it... do not prolong the agony and the inevitable by giving them second and third chances. They see this as a weakness.

    • @MH-cv5ye
      @MH-cv5ye 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I had the same experience. Love yourselves enough to block them out.

  • @warrencardwell6706
    @warrencardwell6706 5 ปีที่แล้ว +458

    How do you know when a narcissist is lying? Their mouth is moving and words are coming out 😉🤗 And yes my narcissistic ex-wife tried to pull me back in after the final discard but I would have no part in it because I could see through her narcissistic games by watching your videos Michele, so thanks for another great video 🙂😏

    • @narcsociopathabuseclarity9599
      @narcsociopathabuseclarity9599 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Once they open their mouth. Nothing but lies comes out. smh

    • @Cubby113able
      @Cubby113able 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@narcsociopathabuseclarity9599Clarity amen. Anything that a narc says is a lie. They are children of the Father of lies and a lie/liar is incapable of telling the truth. Period. End of.

    • @narcsociopathabuseclarity9599
      @narcsociopathabuseclarity9599 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Tina Ward Exactly Tina.. smh They are pure Toxic.

    • @gretabrown1408
      @gretabrown1408 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      This video has really helped me to understand and accept that Narc’s lie all the time and that is the one thing that has clicked for me so Thank you Michele

    • @narcsociopathabuseclarity9599
      @narcsociopathabuseclarity9599 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@gretabrown1408 They all they know what to do. Smh Toxic Toxic..

  • @zulenastaton3132
    @zulenastaton3132 5 ปีที่แล้ว +139

    My experience was being hoovered back in after the break up silent treatment! You receive apologies and fake promises! They love bomb and treat you better than ever when you first return back but after a few weeks or months, the same old vicious behaviors and cheating starts again!

    • @sammiesamsung37
      @sammiesamsung37 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      This is so true. My relative's narcissist ex kept coming around saying they will do anything and not to make the mistake of leaving them. They made it seem like they would treat them so good, meanwhile it's all lies to get you back. They're not thinking of what is best for you. They are only thinking of themselves.

    • @eusebiasantiago2715
      @eusebiasantiago2715 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yes went through this we would always argue and every 3 months we got in big segments and he moved out we would be part for 2 weeks and things would go great then the arguments would start after a month or 2 of him coming back. We did alot of him leaving and moving back with the last 1yr1/2 . I felt he was so selfish things never changed after he promised change he would always say I was the one starting all the arguments that he didn't do ANYTHING. He never saw his wrong. I told him I didn't just wake up like this he had caused alot of mistrust with empty promises didn't help people around him enable him fincially so it put alot of stress and frustration on me.

    • @jessixen4748
      @jessixen4748 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      The cheating never ends 🤦 it really just stops for a few months while they try to convince you they've 'changed'

    • @jessixen4748
      @jessixen4748 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@eusebiasantiago2715 they never seem to see the wrong they do ! Guess that's what a narc really is . They just blame you for everything, and skirt around the parts where they screwed up or make excuses

    • @llllllllllilillii
      @llllllllllilillii 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I hope things are better for you now.

  • @bradmcewen
    @bradmcewen 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Once you get to the point where you understand narcissism as a student does with due diligence, graduation day comes with Magna Cum Laude distinction. Michele you radiate confidence, educated scores and beam healthiness. Well done mam. Well done.

  • @katkathy1180
    @katkathy1180 5 ปีที่แล้ว +159

    Without me you don't exist...
    You have no power over me except the power I give you until I take it away.

    • @mysa.relind977
      @mysa.relind977 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Wow girl that s so true

    • @randythompson1652
      @randythompson1652 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      ? Without me you don't exist??? Please explain.

    • @randythompson1652
      @randythompson1652 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      I think you're missing the point she's making the point is that everybody is somebody and to abuse anybody is the tragedy.

    • @cherylfarrington8037
      @cherylfarrington8037 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      YOUR FREE TO DO WHATEVER I TELL YOU X

    • @josephg1855
      @josephg1855 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Well said!

  • @Alex-mu6ow
    @Alex-mu6ow 5 ปีที่แล้ว +89

    When you're scared of the person you're in love with it's time to get out ... & after it's over when they still try to use you as some kind of demi-husband because they still think you are scared of them . Then you have to cut them totally out of your life ( and that doesn't make you a narcissist) move on , heal & be happy & whole again. There's a whole world of decent girls & guys out there xx

    • @randythompson1652
      @randythompson1652 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Thank you so much. That is the most comfortable comment I've read today. " when you're afraid of the person you're in love with it's time to get out"....wow!!!

    • @teresaboze69
      @teresaboze69 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes. How was I so vulnerable to such a bunch of noise in the signal!

  • @darthphaser2991
    @darthphaser2991 5 ปีที่แล้ว +451

    Well first of all, No contact. It's over. So why are you looking at them on Facebook? Uhhhm.. NO. Block, block, blockity Block.

    • @knijelmcgruder8685
      @knijelmcgruder8685 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Lol! You been looking at Shirleen choir rehearsal videos.

    • @vedpel861
      @vedpel861 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Wow my intuition is speaking volumes right now and I love it. I just been in two narcissistic relationships within 5 months. Not knowing. Until now for sure.
      I remember now that I told him we couldn't have sex let's stop trying at my house and go somewhere else. He didn't like this idea.
      Supposedly he went working. Whatever that is. Gotten sick. And now move downtown and will be "busy for a while." All of that happened within 3 weeks. After a three month relationship together. Expressing love. Saying it to each other.
      To never answer a phone call any longer and to respond to test three days to a week later. Within those three weeks keep in mind. 😂😂😂 *If I can't wait he'll understand he said.* Through text I may add. Only to never respond to my reply I can wait would we be able to see each other or talk on the phone in that time? It's been four days I think and I'm surely going to put my best efforts into forgetting about him.
      Wish I had never said I love you to him. That's when my emotions completely show. I won't regret it. I'm on this video here for a reason now. 😚
      If you're going through something similar remember this. If they wanted you for you they wouldn't try and change you. Definitely would never make you feel like you're silly for worrying about them and express what was normal before.
      *Just laugh friends just laugh*
      😂😂😂😂

    • @user-zm9yc2kb8x
      @user-zm9yc2kb8x 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      nope..im not a victim he can stalk allday..im not going bk..i told him i forgive him n he hit the roof..lol.15yrs but im now free..

    • @starlingswallow
      @starlingswallow 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Darth Phaser 😂😂😂

    • @mpg869
      @mpg869 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Took me some time to learn this. Its a terrible thing to have gone through this. I suggest sending them the song by keisha "praying "

  • @SuperQdaddy
    @SuperQdaddy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +224

    They are not team players....that's all you need to know *

    • @studentthe1560
      @studentthe1560 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      Exactly! They will never be. They belong Solo.

    • @patriciaclark1492
      @patriciaclark1492 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      SuperQdaddy AMEN!

    • @XDominiqueXFranconX
      @XDominiqueXFranconX 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Totally. Dealing with a narcissistic coworker right now who is sabotaging me at every turn.

    • @kbs3631
      @kbs3631 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Wow. I always thought this. I, me, my & mine, never will u hear we, us or ours.

    • @patriciaclark1492
      @patriciaclark1492 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@studentthe1560 Those horrid ppl who cover over them in complete ignorance or complicity to do harm. They belong in eternity hell for the many times they could have shown love instead.

  • @wolfgang7812
    @wolfgang7812 5 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    When the Narc behaves like you don't exist they are actually psychologically running after you hence the reaction seeking behaviour. When this happens; run; run in the opposite direction.
    .

  • @rebeccalavoy6655
    @rebeccalavoy6655 5 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    Perfect timing...I really needed to hear the information in this video. My ex moved on, without a care in the world as I was sobbing into my pillow each night. I started thinking that I was not good enough when he ran into the arms of another woman. Then he started to try and rub his so called, newfound happiness, in my face. It felt like emotional torture. I fooled myself into believing that she was getting the best of him, while I deserved the worst. But, I am beginning to see that he is not truly happy with the new woman either. He is a miserable person who is just trying to escape his reality. I can hear the bitterness in his voice. Ironically, I believe that he is trying to make me suffer or punish me for the poor choices that he has made, past and present. I am starting to heal but some days are still difficult. I hope to recover from this awful learning experience.

    • @sanciaanderson7950
      @sanciaanderson7950 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Rebecca LaVoy you will heal, and it will be the best feeling ever

    • @lioydwilliams1850
      @lioydwilliams1850 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Rebecca LaVoy,you are too precious to be with a narcissist!

    • @rebeccalavoy6655
      @rebeccalavoy6655 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@sanciaanderson7950 ...Hi hun...for some reason, I am just seeing your comment now. Thank you, for your supportive words 😊 You are correct. It is almost a year later and I am doing much better. I have an occasional moment. But they are far less. I hope that you are progressing along your path and are having better days 💛

    • @rebeccalavoy6655
      @rebeccalavoy6655 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@lioydwilliams1850 ...get lost. You are repeating the same words to various women online. Grow up and work on your character. Stop using your time, trying to manipulate vulnerable women that are in pain. You are a LOSER

    • @sanciaanderson7950
      @sanciaanderson7950 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Rebecca LaVoy thank you! I am and just cause we are human I have those moments where I am sad and think of what could have been. When I saw his pics with ns it made it very real for me so I am ok wishing him well from afar but yes it hurts

  • @ericking4072
    @ericking4072 5 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    GOOD LORD YOU ARE THE COMPLETE PACKAGE😭😭😭😭😭

  • @vampireslayer1989
    @vampireslayer1989 5 ปีที่แล้ว +135

    My BPD did exactly that. We had an agreement that if we got involved with someone else, it had to end. She strung me along and Gaslighted me while seeing a new lover. I had placed a boundary that she didn't like. It is amazing that these people ALL fit into a behavioral template.

    • @Chris-0113
      @Chris-0113 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Interesting. Pretty sure we dated the same woman.

    • @mamabearheart1479
      @mamabearheart1479 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I love your moniker... Vamp slayer. Exactly

    • @daviddolan4033
      @daviddolan4033 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      How true... I may have been trapped or felt this way but my end was absolute emotional cut off and this drove her crazy nuts!! At least I understood my boundary was crossed for good and her power died with it. Didn't stop her ways but no longer was I going to fall any lower. Now was my time to be finally rid of this monster.
      My joy of sorts came from the neighbour's support but heard it from several: They saw her with her darkest black cloud with lightning bolts coming down to strike all who came close!! Still a full 8 years ago, loved the picture they set in my brain.
      Yes she robbed me blind and she found another "victim" when I was told my sincere response was good for her but darn I pitty that fellow!! He will learn. Reminded them to continue to stay clear as they had been for their own safety...

    • @vampireslayer1989
      @vampireslayer1989 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      @@mamabearheart1479,
      The narcissist is best described by Heidegger's phrase: "Being and Nothingness". Into this reflective vacuum, this sucking black hole, the narcissist attracts the sources of his narcissistic supply.

    • @markmorgan6840
      @markmorgan6840 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yep... Mine too.....

  • @valeriehughey7993
    @valeriehughey7993 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I have been through this. they are just immature, they blame you for everything.

  • @anitacarter8060
    @anitacarter8060 5 ปีที่แล้ว +30

    Do not tolerate their abuse!!! 🙋🏻🙌🏻✨👍🏻✨

  • @metricdeep8856
    @metricdeep8856 4 ปีที่แล้ว +31

    So many things.....no particular order:
    She used her bad childhood as an excuse to be frigid. She claimed she wanted help with it so I became a hypnotherapist.....I could finally help her. I later realized she didn’t want help she wanted me to acknowledge her suffering and allow it to be an excuse for her behaviour. She left claiming that all I wanted to do was change her and that I didn’t love her for who she was........a depressed and frigid woman.
    I once broke my collar bone and she was angry with me that she needed to help me with things....literally huffing out loud in my face as soon as I came home from the hospital.
    She was unhappy and cried to become a midwife.....I said go ahead, I helped her through 4 years of university and made her seemingly out of reach dreams come true. I had to sell my very successful business to be home with our 3 young kids. I gave up my achievements for her.
    I was not allowed to play guitar.....which was my passion. She would start cleaning or something suddenly and then demand that I help so I would put it down.
    I sent her on at least 3 flights to southern US to see her sister to cheer her up......I never went anywhere.
    She fought with all my friends and now they won’t come around.
    I hardly did anything for myself in many years.
    She would ask me to go out and do a bunch of errands and then tell me to hurry back home. I was not allowed to go out and do things I wanted......only her needs, wants and desires mattered.
    Eventually I realized I would never be happy with her and stopped giving her everything she wanted. She then said she needed space and moved out......she blamed me for her having to move out because I would not voluntarily move out of the house that I paid for.
    She never worked in the last 8 years we were together. I paid for everything we have.
    She left and took half of everything......even for a short while I thought I should help her with things as she was just finishing university. I’m sometimes a slow learner apparently. She never would acknowledge the car lease I continued paying and her student loan interest and the house maintenance costs. We agreed to split the proceeds from the house but which we have but she claims I owe her money. She simply refuses to see the financial hit I took to help her finish school.
    So.....here I am starting over. Trying to forget all the bullshit she put in my head. She is the mother of my children and that hurts more because that position will always be cherished by me no matter what. I would prefer to cherish a good woman in that regard.
    My oldest daughter does some of the same crap her mother did.....I have to call her out on the things she does to her siblings. I hate doing it but I don’t know what choice I have. She will always be my princess but I can’t let her be that way to others.
    I still hurt because I really loved my children’s mother and her happiness was paramount to me. I wish my love went to a deserving woman. What a waste.

    • @jackiejames3898
      @jackiejames3898 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      My god...I wish they would all just leave us alone. As long as their breathing their destroying lives. I hope you can find the inner strength to move forward and flourish. No one deserves what these people do to good people. So much help our there now. Thank god!!!

    • @seanstevens2370
      @seanstevens2370 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Oh my goodness, what you have just said is the mirror of my relationship with my ex wife when we were together, unbelievable that it was the same , however I never knew she had a narcissistic personality disorder until we separated , and then I looked into it a little bit, but every thing you're saying is just like my ex wife . I can only say things do get better . I think a lot of females are just nasty and spiteful people who only think of themselves , anyway thank you for your text .

    • @metricdeep8856
      @metricdeep8856 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@seanstevens2370 Thanks. It's already better lol. She has moved on to another victim already. I would love to tall him what he's in for but it would just be seen as making trouble for her.

    • @brianwalsh1401
      @brianwalsh1401 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I'm sorry to hear you went through this which means you are strong enough to work on healing your wounds and that will take time and effort. I only realized I was married to a narcissist 12 years after I left. The rage I felt at that time took 2 years to get through and then another 2 years to get through the anger. I'm still working through it 6 years later but it's getting better and I'm a lot wiser for it and can identify these people a little better. I was with her for 5 years and I was so depressed when I left that I knew if I didn't leave it would kill me. She was living with another guy within 3 months.
      Now I'm so glad I didn't have kids with her because then I would've been stuck dealing with her and she wanted kids which was the last straw for me. I was just barely surviving her and my unresolved childhood issues from having grown up in a seriously dysfunctional family and having a kid would've pushed me over the edge, but even then I almost stayed. Scary.
      I've been working on my family of origin issues for the last 16 years and I'm a much healthier person than I use to be. I'm aware of the dynamics between codependents and cluster B pd's and realize I was set up for this dysfunctional relationship by my unhealthy childhood. Whenever I start to feel low I just think about how lucky I was to leave that "relationship" that would've destroyed me and I have serious gratitude. I wouldn't have had the strength to do what you did, so you are strong. So work through your issues that allowed you to stay in that usership and take that horrible time in your life and make it a learning opportunity and you will become the strong healthy person you were born to be. Don't beat yourself up either because none of us know what we are dealing with when we get with these people. They are seriously disturbed and dangerous.

    • @assplundah
      @assplundah 8 หลายเดือนก่อน

      You are not alone mate.👍💪💪

  • @anasal-oweidi2202
    @anasal-oweidi2202 5 ปีที่แล้ว +42

    Thank you for your informative videos Michele. My ex was a narcissist. I was genuinely the most caring and loving to her but at the end of it she made me feel like everything was my fault. I think you should not be in a relationship which is self-centered (you should be able to expect almost as much as you provide) about one and pays no attention to the other. I am sure there are so many out there who are or were in a similar relationship and I know Narcissists use vicious means to control and manipulate you into always doing what they want (even when they claim that it is a decision we both make). Please realize it’s not your fault regardless of how he/she makes you feel. You deserve better. Love yourself. I wish you all the very best.

    • @teresaboze69
      @teresaboze69 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      That was my first clue: I heard a voice in myself say, "You deserve better!"

  • @coolbreezesl
    @coolbreezesl 5 ปีที่แล้ว +47

    Wow, your words are spot on, unfortunately narcissist behavior is rewarded in this society.

    • @finabond8926
      @finabond8926 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Can they get help support with there mental health because they're mentally sick?

    • @luvingmerevivedandblessed8520
      @luvingmerevivedandblessed8520 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      The ones that support this people, especially knowing, need to go to hell with them.

    • @roshawngreene7069
      @roshawngreene7069 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Indubeitly!

    • @silveradotow957
      @silveradotow957 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@finabond8926 day done won elp day r butter den u

  • @Sugabullets
    @Sugabullets 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    If I see them happy, that makes me feel good for them. They found someone that's good for them.
    Gdamn, I guess a pure heart is protected.

  • @jessicafoulger2177
    @jessicafoulger2177 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Everything has become so clear to me. Distance from that toxic relationship has made me realise who I was dealing with was In fact a narcissist. They continued to call and text me trying to get inside my head saying shit like the reason they were so cold during the breakup is because they were on anti depressants...saying sorry and they love me...all this bullshit. It's like they thrived off my pain and used that to fill themselves with confidence. They saw I still had feelings and set me up to punish me one last time by posting a picture of someone new on Twitter with a love heart. Honestly makes me sick. How can someone lie and hurt you in such a cold and calculated way? If anything it shows how unhappy they are with themselves and have to hurt people. They are empty and will always be empty. They use people. No doubt the same thing will happen with this new person. I should be thankful I'm finally out of it but a part of you wants some kind of justice. Maybe it took this act of deception to finally see what a nasty person They are and is, in fact, a blessing in disguise. Just feel so frustrated at myself for allowing myself to get manipulated once again but at least now I know the red flags and never will I ever compromise myself and safety for someone again. They tried to make me out to be the crazy and abusive one to end the relationship.

  • @tscarr11
    @tscarr11 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Even worse when a narcissist try to drag other people into the situation. All you want to do is get the hell away from her & get on with your own life.

  • @kunkunaku
    @kunkunaku 5 ปีที่แล้ว +57

    Spot on. After five years of rage and abuse I finally hit the wall, (metaphorically) and withdrew emotionally. It was enough. Shortly thereafter she became much more agreeable, which was to lure me back in, which it did. She really put on the show. I actually thought my putting on the breaks and setting up a boundary had a positive affect. It lasted for a week max. She had on schedule another rage episode, smashing, banging etc. I withdrew emotionally again. Just went quiet. Next thing I knew she said she was leaving me and not coming back. But she stayed to go to an event with me, which at the time made no sense. Looking back it was her twisting the shiv in my rib. I don't do social media at all, never have, anyway she posted her picture on the web, modeling a cowgirl outfit, with her maiden name. She knew I would be looking at a family circle page and wanted me to be crushed. Anyway it all transpired, just as you said.
    These are evil, evil people whom we thought loved us. The best thing any victim of these monsters can do is to finally realize, it was never real, they were never real and they were not the amazing person we thought they were. It boggles your mind but that's because you're normal, decent, ethical and moral. They are anything but a person with such attributes.

  • @aestheticsilence
    @aestheticsilence 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    You are literally saving lives...thank you!! I've been watching your videos and learning so much about narcs since before I FINALLY left the psycho-delusional-narcissistic drunk I lived with this January 2019!! I could wtite novels about it all. Wishing the best to those dealing with narcs in their life....GET AWAY AND NEVER GO BACK. It takes time and patience...hurts yes, but you will heal afterwards. Love to all.

    • @donkykong1823
      @donkykong1823 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Maybe write that novel then? You write beautifully. Very to the point. I would buy a survival and victory story against a narc in a heartbeat.

  • @davidweber2112
    @davidweber2112 5 ปีที่แล้ว +148

    3 hours ? Normally they have the spare lined up and are in love with another, possibly two ... at all times in case you leave. Love ur work Michele xx

    • @FromSurvivingToThriving
      @FromSurvivingToThriving  5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Very true lol!!!

    • @sophiachick3901
      @sophiachick3901 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      David Weber right!?

    • @davidweber2112
      @davidweber2112 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I sadly wish I wasn't, its harsh when it occurs. Finding you an object, verses a person to be discarded like an old toy. Michele has some great stuff on this, classic lines that make me laugh ... @@sophiachick3901

    • @sophiachick3901
      @sophiachick3901 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      David Weber I couldn’t agree more with you.

    • @davidweber2112
      @davidweber2112 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Big hug to you ... sadly ... you understand and its the hard way we learn. xxooo@@sophiachick3901

  • @charlesmunroe2335
    @charlesmunroe2335 5 ปีที่แล้ว +111

    Michele... You have a sweet heart and a kind delivery... soft compassion. Thank you for making such a difference in helping us heal & recover. May you always have fulfilling happiness and abundant health!

  • @garysmith5781
    @garysmith5781 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Today, Friday the 13th, 2019. My ex narc moved out 2 months ago after I confronted her on her lies and cheating. Married only 5 months. She hung around town for 10 days, hoping I would take her back. I told her no way!!! Today is the final day of the waiting period for our divorce. First month was hard, then it got easier, now I can't wait to get those papers in my hands. Stay strong and stay away from these lying, selfish, cheating beings. Love yourself, be happy!!😁

  • @RealtorDRFoster
    @RealtorDRFoster 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    One thing I learned about the narc I live with, he's either lying or formulating his next lie.

    • @breeneb2705
      @breeneb2705 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Most likely lying currently WHILE formulating next lie lol

  • @tonygarcia1497
    @tonygarcia1497 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    So true, I've been following Michelle for over 5 years. She helped me get through the most toughest times on my life. After 43 years of wasted life, I made the decision to move on. Don't wait 43 days to decide you're in a bad relationship!

  • @shanasaujon4801
    @shanasaujon4801 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    You're so spot on! This one keeps me awake. I stay quiet when this thing sleeps. Empathy for me when I'm trying to sleep? Never happens. Never has. Never will.

  • @cmcaulif44
    @cmcaulif44 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    Michelle, I wish I found your videos a few years ago. Listening to your videos are helping me understand that I am not the one to blame for trying as hard I as could to keep the relationship going after 22 years. I finally realize that the only way of dealing with a narcissist is to get as far away from them as possible. Do not communicate with them because you will never get the truth from them. They do not care about you only their agenda. I am happy I found your site and will continue to watch your videos to reinforce that I am not a bad person, I was just married to someone that wanted me to believe I was a bad person. Thanks again, CraigM

    • @daviddolan4033
      @daviddolan4033 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      This is brought up many X. We hold onto a dream, did our part and then some but as a one way we wasted our energy time and money. Divorce can be the final nail in that coffin.

    • @teresaboze69
      @teresaboze69 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      ".... Only care about their agenda..." truer words never spoken.

  • @maykylagarcia6537
    @maykylagarcia6537 5 ปีที่แล้ว +59

    That’s why it’s important to stay SINGLE🙌

    • @theSpiritofTamzin
      @theSpiritofTamzin 4 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      No. It's important to not date narcs...

    • @IamSunil017
      @IamSunil017 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Only narcs hold be exwllwd, u should heal first

    • @larrylegend2285
      @larrylegend2285 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Don't let yourself not to be loved. It's not fair to you or the person you hadn't met yet that could be your "person". I understand but at the same time you are a beautiful person and should let someone love you for you.
      Peace and love.

  • @marshamarritto9136
    @marshamarritto9136 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    So true, he cried like a baby the day before, went down on knees, kissed feet faked vomiting, suddenly sick. Yet next day was posting him and another woman. How could that be, you just told me I was your life and begged me not to leave. He fired his attacks that bowled me over completely. Moving out with my stuff,slander by contacting friends, coworkers sighs. I'm slowly picking up myself, first step is silence, block and delete.

  • @narcsociopathabuseclarity9599
    @narcsociopathabuseclarity9599 5 ปีที่แล้ว +98

    They are good with the Mind Games. smh.. Don't fall for it! Great Video...

  • @xoKimberlyyG
    @xoKimberlyyG 5 ปีที่แล้ว +48

    LOVE your explanation regarding the ‘silent treatment’... they can’t stand us because we rejected them and it’s a threat to their false reality! It’s crazy but you made it make sense. Thank you!

    • @daynesmith8959
      @daynesmith8959 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What is the purpose of the silent treatment cause ive held my self back cause of family and im ready to do whats necessary for my self to livr authenticly

    • @daynesmith8959
      @daynesmith8959 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bless

  • @karaokequeen8514
    @karaokequeen8514 5 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Even tho they are happy and moved on. We also know they will treat the next person the same way. Give them time. The new person will find out really quickly that what they said about you isn't exactly true

  • @StoryMotoADV
    @StoryMotoADV 5 ปีที่แล้ว +118

    as an encouragement to others... I started in this hell and in one years time I ended up where I am living a dream. It just took the doing.

    • @19tams67
      @19tams67 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I am so happy for you. I really am. I wish you life Full of Love, Laughter and fun. This is so awesome to look forward to.
      I have been in this situation for 18 years, and I'm 51, I don't think I'll ever be able to make my head Right. I feel crazy, ugly, stupid and confused

    • @dakoderii4221
      @dakoderii4221 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@19tams67 Confused but not crazy, ugly, or stupid. Hope and pray for things to get better for you.

    • @ericking4072
      @ericking4072 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@19tams67 RIGHT?I TOO AM 51(GOING ON 23)......MY HEAVY METAL DRUMS KEEP ME YOUNG.BUT I FEEL LIKE I'VE BURNT UP SOOOOOOO MUCH TIME UPLIFTING&TRYING TO FIX THE ONE I"LOVE".......TRULY LIFESUCKING&EXHAUSTING!!!😭😭😭

    • @julia7711
      @julia7711 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      @@19tams67 i encourage you to to try, at 51, u could possibly have another 20 to 40 years left, thats a long time, u can have a whole other life in that time! Who knows what u could do and experience in 40 years free from narcissistic abuse?

    • @elonmust8859
      @elonmust8859 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      @@19tams67 I bet we all get told we are crazy and stupid i know i was told this many times. Confused yes because of what these assholes do to us. But my guess is they are the stupid crazy ones.

  • @diantinatalist6686
    @diantinatalist6686 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    They devalue. They lost. Their moms told them they were special

  • @evenflow3256
    @evenflow3256 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    self love is the first step to remember normal folk regard each other.

  • @pisgah2715
    @pisgah2715 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    You know you're living with one if your life feels like a rollercoaster ride (not in a good way), your confidence is zero, you don't know whether you're coming or going and arguments are manufactured to enable them to do whatever they intended to do all along.

    • @petergosinya4957
      @petergosinya4957 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      If you feel this way is it possible they would say it to you like you're the problem?

    • @xKateshi
      @xKateshi 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      ​@@petergosinya4957 Correct.

  • @Doriesep6622
    @Doriesep6622 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    But wouldn't a narc moving on so quickly as though you never existed, validate how screwed up he is? It's a good sign.

  • @garimaheath
    @garimaheath 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thanks Michele. That is exactly the last lie they want you to believe. That you are worthless and they are so happy.... riiiiight. They are vicious.
    Yes it is like a 17 yr marriage and 2 kids never existed or mattered.
    Everything they’ do is to punish and hurt you. It does hurt 😔. Knowing how they talk to each other explains what the new supply is all about - she is a total doormat and he is the victim she is saving him from a ‘monster » and assuring her needs her by serving his every wish.

  • @jeno5176
    @jeno5176 5 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    OMG!!! This is so true! I experienced a couple...and felt like I was chewed up and spit out! Always second guessing...Thank God Inhave learned.

  • @elp1246
    @elp1246 5 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    I was sooooo happy when he got married that I could finally EXHALE

    • @Lisa-hc3uq
      @Lisa-hc3uq 5 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      El P
      Dont be so sure he is out of your life completely.
      Unless he dies, or moved away so you won't see him.
      They are there and keep track of you. You don't even realize it.
      All victims are put on a shelf so to speak so when things go south for them with their current supply, there's always someone they can contact or hoover.
      You're never completely out of their life. You may think you are but you're not.
      Be aware of that.
      Stay strong and be safe.
      🙂

    • @ladyv5655
      @ladyv5655 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      He would be quite happy to cheat on his spouse with you if you allowed this. It would be his way of hurting his wife if she disappointed him in any way and then he would discard you and assure his wife that it was all your fault and that you pursued him.

    • @studentthe1560
      @studentthe1560 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      I was sooooo happy when I finally mustered the courage to leave him that I could finally EXHALE.

    • @shadyalsina8311
      @shadyalsina8311 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Am just getting know l have been dating a narcissist...but my situation feels different coz l got him when he was still in a relationship with his ex and he asked for time and he said his gna gt over her....our relationship was really a secret but he was so investing....later alone the ex got to knw we had chemistry n this guy blamed the ex a lot with words like ur crazy.. N so on making her feel it was her fault that he moved with me....so our relationship then became official but they stayed in contact with the ex.... This guy has all signs of narcissistic people so controlling and all of that....so his gasslighting me n am doing the same as well....l know will go through this l follow all ur videos u upload thanks ur such a sweet soul

  • @trishg8852
    @trishg8852 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I recognized it, and finally said I don't want that kind of relationship! I had Enough! Yes, I was exercising self-love and self-respect. And, it felt good! 🙏❤️✝️ Then,
    strangely, the narc disappeared! He acted as if I never existed!!!!! Yes, we are in pain, and they look happy? They want to rock our world, to gain narcissistic supply. It's so sad! and dysfunctional. I'm thankful for the grace of God! Amen! ✝️🙏❤️
    You're right, they will act as if you never existed. To get you to you ask yourself, maybe it's me? But, as you said, it's the last LIE! So, do not believe the last lie! NO, It's NOT you, it's the narcissism. it's not your fault! It's a LIE!!! Don't fall for it! 🙄
    They will punish you for setting a boundary!! And rejecting their abusive behaviour.
    Ladies and gentlemen, we are worth far more than that!! God bless everyone! Prayers for healing. ❤️🙏✝️😘 ❤️💙💙❤️💕💖💖💖💙💙

  • @TallSilentGuy
    @TallSilentGuy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +24

    "You'd be lost without me!"

    • @floridagirl5250
      @floridagirl5250 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I heard this too

    • @NH-we1hs
      @NH-we1hs 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      You'll die without me 🤣 5 years later that still makes me laugh.

  • @virtuallyrealistic
    @virtuallyrealistic 5 ปีที่แล้ว +61

    I had wondered about the weird ‘not able to look me in the face when we were speaking’. The behavior made no sense at the time.

    • @ninifire4282
      @ninifire4282 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Nyree Harris only when THEY want to. If I want to, he can’t

    • @johncorson6599
      @johncorson6599 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Someone can have some narcissistic behavior but not be a narc ... not being able to look in your eyes is guilt ... narcs don’t possess much if any guilt ... I had a gf who couldn’t look me in the eye when speaking with me .. she was cheating but wasn’t a narc .. I just dumped her and moved on

    • @knightress5760
      @knightress5760 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      They can never do that. Mine never wanted to have a face to face conversation. Simply because I saw through the crap.

  • @Chris-0113
    @Chris-0113 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Love you, Michele. You're doing such a good thing for people. Hope all is well. ❤

  • @RisesAboveTrauma
    @RisesAboveTrauma 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    DUDE OMG he did this!! He wouldn't look at me in conversations after I kicked him out!!!!!!!!!! And I couldn't believe it. He was saying he loved me YET acted so rejecting. Thank you Michele!! You really helped me to understand. xxoo

  • @thevindictive6145
    @thevindictive6145 5 ปีที่แล้ว +74

    One thing about victims of narcicist, they all are hot stuff. Yeah that me included.

    • @lucyhall526
      @lucyhall526 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Hells yea we are!😋🤗

    • @mariar1416
      @mariar1416 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      This made my day!❤️

    • @chrisgould101
      @chrisgould101 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Not to brag or anything but I always was the best looking😅😅 don't say this though, this is what a narc would think of themselves!

    • @thevindictive6145
      @thevindictive6145 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@chrisgould101 So true, but remember being victims or narcissistic abuse some of us for decades were told that we were useless and ugly and hopeless. But i see the complete opposite all the time when i see the victims. And i honestly say what i see.
      The difference is if it were a narc they would want people to worship them, but the victims are usually very shy folk and it does not really matter as much to be praised.

  • @Andrea-qh6xk
    @Andrea-qh6xk 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    My ex had several mistresses throughout our 20 years together. He never left me or threatened to leave me for one. Then, he found one that was a trophy on the outside and desperate and wounded on the inside... perfect storm for a narc. While we were still married, he flaunted her around his friends and invited her to our son’s baseball games. Soon before I moved out, I found out he was seeing other women at the same time (including prostitutes). I never told him I knew about these others, but he must have suspected. The last words he ever spoke to me aloud (we only discuss my son via text and email) were, “You’re just upset I found someone I want to be faithful to.” I guess it was his last lie because it clearly wasn’t true. It’s been year since that conversation and now they’re married... all bliss, I’m sure. What are the chances he IS faithful to her now that he put a ring on it? Ha!

    • @geekaleek
      @geekaleek 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      count yourself lucky to be done with him. He's someone elses problem now. Enjoy your life!

    • @TuxieTude
      @TuxieTude 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      How did you find out he was seeing other people? Just curious. Thank you. 😊

    • @Andrea-qh6xk
      @Andrea-qh6xk 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      CL4H We were still living together and sharing bills. Phone bill.

    • @Blkbutterfly7
      @Blkbutterfly7 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Mine said the same thing, and then when I'd run into him he'd ask if I'd found a better lover than him.. Kept wondering... Does your girlfriend know you're asking me this? But shes a fool I told her about him and he convinced her and everyone that I keyed his car. Even though his new supply did it idk you can't save others

    • @berracahband
      @berracahband 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      No chance of faithfulness. Mine married his mistress two months after we divorced. Then when she would go out of state to visit her parents, he would be texting me sentimental messages and inviting me to lunch. When they got divorced after 5 years, he had a new girlfriend just 2 weeks later. They just repeat their patterns.

  • @Happy-Me.
    @Happy-Me. 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I'm so glad that I stayed focused and discarded her first. As a Super Empath I had left the relationship months before but I just needed the confirmation. I'll never go back!

  • @bellachet1392
    @bellachet1392 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    I wish I knew about all this before going thru hell for almost two years, getting hoovered back in several times, and never being able to “get thru” to them in any conversation. I started researching multiple personality disorders to try and understanding what in the world was going on! He made me feel like I was the crazy one and even offered to go to counseling with me lol

    • @ciarahopkins9287
      @ciarahopkins9287 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Mine did too crazy shit. The fake crying. Well that would be tears coming out of sides but I don't know what for. When he kicked me out multiple times throughout the relationship he would say do you think I really wanted this to happen. His excuse for leaving me was that we always argue. When he was the one that always would start the arguments and if I talk back as he would say that's when he will put his hands on me I wasn't allowed to have feelings or talk about what he had done to me

  • @giovannijoseph9580
    @giovannijoseph9580 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    She is so right!
    Think, if they can flip into another relationship, hours, they already had a cloud of possible replacements begging to be next!
    We were not in a real relationship! Be happy to be free!
    Go start a new hobby, or an old one, maybe teach a class from your competence, and start meeting people again!

  • @carolloraine223
    @carolloraine223 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Very good reminders in keeping us
    Narcissist free!!
    Thank you!!

  • @LifeAfterNarc
    @LifeAfterNarc 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    OMG, I'm divorced now but we had to meet in Dallas from Florida and Nevada to exchange cars and on the way he posts his engagement to his catfish girlfriend (we were still married) and then he gives me a necklace and proceeds to hoover me. These Narcs are unbelievable!!! The embarrassing part to admit is that I fell for it for about a month!

    • @donkykong1823
      @donkykong1823 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Well at least now you know that they are INCAPABLE of attachment. You won't make the mistake of falling for the grand finale again. Don't be embarrassed, be satisfied. You did great.

    • @AndyPoons
      @AndyPoons 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@donkykong1823 actually narcissists have attachment issues but being attached to someone isn't a good thing. Codependancy is not healthy so instead of being attached you should be connected and in a state of love. Attachment is the same as conditional love. Not real love

    • @iwantthetruthandnothingbut6521
      @iwantthetruthandnothingbut6521 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Well I guess that is embarrassing... LOL! I hope that someday you can consider changing your user name, because the one that you currently have is only going to keep you stuck in that reality... Blessings!

    • @rubberbiscuit99
      @rubberbiscuit99 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@iwantthetruthandnothingbut6521
      I have this truth to add to your comment:
      "Well I guess that is embarrassing..." validates a negative emotion that the person experienced from narcissistic abuse. The statement seems intended to wound the person by probing at a tender spot, while giving a superficial appearance of positive validation ("I guess that is ..").
      "LOL" adds insult to injury by minimizing the person's negative emotion, characterizing the embarrassment as a joke, which, if you were of decent character, you would not have written because you would understand the comment is unkind, cruel, and not good for you to say to another person.
      "I hope that someday you can consider changing your user name, because the one that you currently have is only going to keep you stuck in that reality..." is another insult, this time cloaked as a "hope," and which predicts a negative outcome for the healing of this person. But you are a stranger with next to no knowledge of the person or her situation, so your negative prediction for her healing is meaningless, and merely reveals your false sense of superiority over her, as well as your blatant ill will, which is apropos of nothing.
      "Blessings!" seems to have been thrown in just to twist the knife.
      It seems either you have NPD or a bad case of fleas.

    • @iwantthetruthandnothingbut6521
      @iwantthetruthandnothingbut6521 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@rubberbiscuit99 well thank you for the advice. Confirming a statement that someone has made themselves is certainly not condescending. And saying LOL , was only meant to show that it was not said in a mean-spirited way. And the reason I suggested that she someday change her username I explained in my comment... So that she won't identify forever as a victim. And I really did mean blessings to her! So again thanks for the advice oh, I'm sure you meant it in the best possible way towards me... with nothing but good motives and love for your fellow human.....😉

  • @sophiadilworth885
    @sophiadilworth885 5 ปีที่แล้ว +40

    Omg you are right I feel like he got back with me to punish me because narcissis love to punish you.

    • @cherbug1197
      @cherbug1197 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Sophia Dilworth mine did the same thing

    • @talawoods25
      @talawoods25 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      To a narc reuniting=punishment. They don't forgive and forget. They manipulate you back in only to do more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more and more damage.

    •  5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Yaaaassss they sure do

  • @kelliemichelle7869
    @kelliemichelle7869 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Scarily accurate I’m literally going through this right now but I’m determined to have no contact if he does attempt it.

    •  5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Its the best way to go!!!

  • @pennylilley6183
    @pennylilley6183 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Michelle I listened to Chris Watts and Shanaan conversations on your playlist. It further proves that he was narcissistic and if only she had listened to you and let the authorities help her then that family might still be here. Sending love and healing to you

  • @karent3004
    @karent3004 5 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    Perfect timing as usual Sweetie....hugs...🤗

  • @vaniraman2055
    @vaniraman2055 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Thank you, a powerful message... Never forget how much they hurt you.. Be merciless with them just as they have been with you. Punish them by erasing them.

  • @JameSSpeedCo
    @JameSSpeedCo 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Thank u for taking the time to make these videos. I wanted to interject something to consider that many people seem to get misconstrued...and that, perhaps, may cause them to feel sympathy for the Narcissist, (like my daughters’ mother who I was with for 14 yrs).
    Narcissists don’t lack empathy.
    Empathy is defined as “the ability to understand the emotions of another.”
    It’s important not to generalize the word “empathy” because, in doing so, we dont clearly define the level of evil and depth of insidiousness behind what Narcissists’ actually do.
    Narcissists KNOW EXACTLY how what they do will make u feel, just as a soldier who tortures a prisoner KNOWS how what they do will make a captive feel.
    THEY UNDERSTAND. So, they do not lack “empathy”
    What Narcissists lack and are incapable of feeling is... COMPASSION.
    They KNOW what they are doing to u.
    They simply, horrifically, do not care.
    So to say a Narcissist lacks “empathy” would be misleading, as it could imply that they simply don’t know what they’re doing when, in fact, they do.
    They are making the DECISION AND CHOICE to hurt u, because they lack COMPASSION--which is “ the concern for the sufferings of another.”

    • @christinelawrence4315
      @christinelawrence4315 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      James adamjohnson ...Narcissists are devoid of a soul and technically adopt "learned behaviours" .. so yes it is correct that they lack empathy/compassion because if they had a heartbeat, a soul and had a strong moral/value compass they wouldn't have committed the criminal crime of robbing people of their beautiful lives to leave them an empty-shell.

    • @user-zd5kv3yr8u
      @user-zd5kv3yr8u 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      james adamsjohnson Spot on!

    • @teresaboze69
      @teresaboze69 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Nah. lacks compassion is a psychopath. sounds like you have been involved in serious behind-the-lines deep state stuff of emotional destruction, one step beyond narcissist

    • @christinelawrence4315
      @christinelawrence4315 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@teresaboze69 Who was your comment directed at Teresa?

  • @phaxad
    @phaxad 5 ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Im not diving in after my ex wife. When I throw out the garbage I never go after it.

    •  5 ปีที่แล้ว

      I feel ya!!!!!

  • @danielpriddy2288
    @danielpriddy2288 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Michelle thank you for helping us understand what we go through dealing w ppl like this.
    U r always spot on!

  • @makisnerantzis8427
    @makisnerantzis8427 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    The first year of separation i thought it was my fault!!!It was the last lie...thank you for the details.No contact!

  • @TEYBoutique
    @TEYBoutique 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Imagine the person that "loves you" the most, is the person you need to be protected from the most, that's narcissism! Glad I believe in Karma! 😊

  • @brandilee5072
    @brandilee5072 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thank you for posting this. My Narcissistic ex tried the same trick by showing off his new girlfriend. I didn't take the bait.

  • @peggyholliday5221
    @peggyholliday5221 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I recently ended a relationship with a narcissist, I followed your advice on your previous videos making sure I still maintained the power by saying " I'm sorry you feel that way" and " you seem angry or upset". I would only ever talk calmly and clearly with him. What your saying in this video is so scarily accurate. My ex drove me to the point of despair by socially isolating me by being jealous and paranoid of who I was friends with. And decided he couldn't be in a relationship anymore because of who my friends where ( predominantly guys). To which I agreed with him because couldn't handle his toxic behaviour if being controlling, over protecting and manipulative. Throughoutnour relationship I was bending to his rules and wants and I got very little of what I needed other than abuse and stress on a daily basis. " You can't help but cause me pain, YOU are the one to blame for my bad thoughts, YOU need to do better and prove to ME you love me" by the end I was exhausted and a hollow shell having given everything could to our relationship. We have broken up and got back together several times and each have resulted the same way because as you say, a narcissist CANNOT change. But I need help in ensuring I don't go back to him again. Because I feel true love for him. But I know I can have so much better. He has the gall to say to me il never find anyone like him who will love me the way he does and will know me the way he does. When in actual fact I know that's rubbish. But I'm so so broke from the end of this relationship it's causing a serious affect on my physical health. What can I do to make sure I don't go back to him again and how can I get over him!

    • @abcdefghijklmnopasd
      @abcdefghijklmnopasd 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Well I had a 6-7 year relationship with a guy who was exactly like this . I have lost myself in the process of pleasing him.
      It's been only one month , I stopped talking to him. I have started to feel better.
      Trust me , loving yourself first makes your life fulfilling. We are born alone, die alone, the society makes us believe we need someone to love us. It is a lie.
      You don't need someone to fulfill you.
      Love yourself. Get involved in some activities.
      Love will happen at the right time.
      Be the best version of yourself.
      Life is more than loving someone.
      You are here for some purpose, find it.
      Talk to friends, family and share your feelings.
      Don't sit alone .
      And don't try to contact him. Life will be a hell for you . Can you deal with that shitty behavior for your whole life ?
      You deserve better.
      Don't rush into a relationship.
      It's better to understand yourself , grow a bit first.

    • @jennyl7422
      @jennyl7422 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      You really need to leave and go no contact.. my narc ex bf also was super jealous and possessive so in the end I only had my parents/sisters and no friends anymore.. and he would also give me so much stress I got physically sick.. after I left I blocked him and his parents and changed all my passwords on every accounts possible.. even blocked all his email addresses.. and the trick is to not respond, EVER! It wil drive him nuts but that's the only way.. I've been out of my relationship for 4 months now and I'm making so much progress, but the mental wounds are still there.. but at least I'm somewhere safe and I can get healthy again..
      Best tip to not go back: write down all the nasty stuff he has done to you so you can read why you left him in the first place.. and remember that the good days were only love bombing to keep you from leaving.. so please leave and go no contact for your sake! I wish you the best 🌹

  • @pisgah2715
    @pisgah2715 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Yes, they do tend to rush into new relationships and seem blissfully happy until a couple of years into the new relationship, it all crumbles for them again and again. They can't sustain a normal loving relationship. Luckily I have a beautiful loving and caring daughter from my toxic relationship and now 25 years free, realise looking back that I wouldn't change a thing.

  • @speciallk5466
    @speciallk5466 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    I cannot tell you how very much this vid has helped me..20 yrs together..Swept away like dust bunnies. Faciing the raw truth of something I knew,(of myself and of him) but could not articulate. I must gather all the knowledge I can to build a better understanding of it all. Getting a grip on the abhorrent idea (to me) that this creature literally has NO empathy. I cannot IMAGINE the ease with which to be so inhumane! I knew I would get nothing from Nothing to aid my healing. I've been given some peace in the midst of swirling hurt..Thank you for being the wonderful light of Something!

  • @randyeason1830
    @randyeason1830 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    You have to get to a point why you dont care. At the end, I was moving to another state. We had children, so I came to spend time with them. she was in another relationship. I was giving her advice about the other guy. I saw here phone and he had sex with her( but so did I the night before) I also saw on her phone she had sex with my child's track coach. It was so amazing. I wasn't hurt, anger, jealous or anything. That's when I knew I was truly over the relationship. It was such a powerful feeling. The relationship had been such a storm of ups and downs. I found that self love. Dont give up on yourself.

  • @rachellencarroll1987
    @rachellencarroll1987 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    It makes you want to ruin their happiness and turn their chaos around on them... vengeance and self reassurance...

  • @jacinduh
    @jacinduh 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I finally mustered up the courage and strength to acknowledge what I deserved and what I wanted. Ended the relationship and told him we shouldn’t be together, we want different things, etc etc. and immediately he shifted the conversation to “yeah, we shouldn’t be together because you never wanted this, you never cared, have fun with whoever you’re f**ing with”.
    Made me feel like shit, and made me feel like I had to defend myself and clarify there is no one else (he always thought I was talking to someone else and I constantly had to defend myself and justify and prove my love to him) I felt the need to explain I just deserve better and our relationship was toxic. Haven’t talked since. I still wished him well though...
    Long healing process after... only been almost 2 months, but I still feel so heartbroken and confused. My mindset on love and relationships has been completely skewed after him bc I fully and 100% thought he was my person.

  • @orchidsrising7910
    @orchidsrising7910 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Why do I continue to feel empathy, pity and sadness for the person who abused me because I understand his childhood trauma and the fact that he can never find true happiness like I do? The empathy is keeping me hooked in a dysfunctional “friendship” two years later- and it’s intruding on my faster growth. Thank you 💗☮️💗 PS: If I recovered from the severe symptoms of my acute but almost ending ptsd, anyone can recover!! Choose to be a warrior no matter the pain, you will win if you believe so 💞💞💞

  • @beverlyclark1703
    @beverlyclark1703 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

    I'm working with a narcissist but I have handle on her and she is baffled!....lol

  • @ionamcbrid
    @ionamcbrid 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I wish mine had moved on; I can’t get him out of my apartment two years after splitting up! It’s like he wants to prevent me from moving on but also get his family to believe that he’s still in a relationship with me. He’s still holding onto the idea that he’s a man with a wife. He’s like one of those barnacles that have to be scraped off the hull of ships.

    • @bettinaschooley8167
      @bettinaschooley8167 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Mine was like that. Didn't seem to want to give up his image or not at least until he was sure a past affair partner was almost hooked again (poor naieve girl) then he could move out, but kept complaining to me that he was lonely (only after she'd gone home/left his presence) & trying to get me to feel sorry for him. He now had to pay his own way & not live out of my pocket anymore. I was glad to be rid of nearly 20yrs of lies/17yrs married. Now I'm being smeared left right & centre just so no one will believe the abuse (also physical) that was going on behind closed doors. Upsetting, but myself & our kids are now free to breathe!

  • @Spramele
    @Spramele 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    This is exactly what I did! I felt like a fool. I felt like I had a grasp then I saw how he didn’t care then I thought I screwed up and tried to get him back and apologized. I can’t seem to block him. I’m waiting for him to contact me. His last word from him was “can’t”... Thank you for this. It makes me forgive myself.

  • @LD-ju7ge
    @LD-ju7ge 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I've been watching your videos on & off for years but since yesterday I had a really AWFUL & disheartening situation & you helped me IMMENSELY. It was the video on how narcs can be so cruel. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope to share videos like you some day 💗💗💗

  • @sassysliminsix
    @sassysliminsix 5 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    Perfect timing!

  • @TheFabricTeapot1
    @TheFabricTeapot1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Good riddance to bad rubbish.
    I've not been this happy and had so much peace in my life since I can't recall.

    • @mrp8173
      @mrp8173 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      You're funny but true!

  • @macktalkHEAVY
    @macktalkHEAVY 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is so accurate. My narcissist left me and everything in this video is true. Only thing different now is I'm moving on. And I'm okay with that. 🙌🏾

  • @zandralee103
    @zandralee103 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I was weakening tonight & feeling similar to what you discussed, so I truly needed to be reminded about the "whys." Thank you...

  • @pauldavid167
    @pauldavid167 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    Yup, she tried everything, even messaging my new girlfriend "He belongs to me". They are toddlers

    • @IamSunil017
      @IamSunil017 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I am shaking... Is God out there... Seeing... My loneliness and pain due to my thoughts

  • @cholhoknaam1539
    @cholhoknaam1539 5 ปีที่แล้ว +25

    He got married within 10 months into an arranged marriage. 😏😏😏🤨🤨 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️. Insane, I am still happily single and enjoying my freedom. 🙏🏿🙏🏿😅😅

    • @cholhoknaam1539
      @cholhoknaam1539 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      No , I am not really, I am more concerned about the poor young girl he married. He has never never met her. Completely arranged (her father is a some local political figure), he happily phone my family to inform them.
      My move forward will be smooth and meaningful. Not rushed because he has moved on, he is doing it to show me that he can do better, he found someone worthy and therefore hurt my feelings. When I fact, it shows me that truly made the best decision to leave the toxicity.

    • @johnmd2263
      @johnmd2263 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@cholhoknaam1539 where are you all from? Is it a thing of his culture?

    • @IamSunil017
      @IamSunil017 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      My wife is opposite, she want me to show I am capable of getting other woman,and loads of money, then only she will feel for me, my mentality is I reject maximum friends who are not true, so think how much women get rejected by me... What's my problem, I know she is, but it's too much, too much lies and drama, too exhausting... My heart feels sometimes ripped open... Is there something wrong with me, is the sense even when all say u have everything, but why do they say pray for her, which brings thoughts, and not to be angry with her,

  • @TheForeverfree1
    @TheForeverfree1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Loving and caring about ourselves is the first step! The 'worldly ' 'got to get what and where I want' types hide this covertly. Love and good blessings to the young!

  • @sdigiaco
    @sdigiaco 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Wow, that's exactly what happened. I found myself in a friendship with two female narcissists, one overt and one covert. I begin backing off about 6 months ago because I knew something was wrong and I couldn't put my finger on it and now I am finally feeling like myself again. one of the problems I've had during this time is how they seemingly moved on with no problem at all cuz I was a mess. it left me feeling like I was the problem until I listened to this lesson thank you so much for clarifying this last lie of theirs. it was hard dealing with two narcissists at the same time but it was beneficial for me to see the both of them did the last lie you speak of here which confirms my decision to put up strict boundaries and even no contact in certain circumstances. Thanks again

  • @deed8367
    @deed8367 5 ปีที่แล้ว +23

    The LIE is; I love YOU. Not.

  • @miguelvitor6845
    @miguelvitor6845 5 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    It’s exactly what’s happened whit me!!! I finish whit her and she have de new love like I never existed...but for me was the last point to know what she is☺️

  • @jennykindle7537
    @jennykindle7537 4 ปีที่แล้ว

    Girl... you are a Godsent... seriously you have no clue who I am but you have helped me so much. You have helped me more than you will ever know. My sons father and x fiance is a narcissist. It has been really rough. God bless you. Seriously I thank God I came across your channel.

  • @QW-wq5zu
    @QW-wq5zu 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    This is my story🤯🤯🤯!!!!!!! He took less than two months to get into another relationship!!! He made me doubt my being; I keep going back to that time when I tried to make him understand my point when he threw that silent tantrum at me and calculate the time he took to get into another relationship; it is crazy-making! Like I never was or existed! There is nobody who can understand how painful it’s and how hard to heal from such trauma!