Here's How Covert Narcissists Erase You & Change You
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 31 ต.ค. 2023
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I’m so tired of being gaslit and manipulated, verbally attacked, bullied, intentionally misled and misunderstood by family-I’ve become confrontational and defensive, and I was never like this before all of these narcs came out of the woodwork-it seems like they’re everywhere now, and I’m always triggered.
They are everywhere, but so are we! Let's keep our distance and work to be kinder and better in any way we can. They don't deserve us
I managed to make it 50 years never raising my voice or my hand to ANYONE. till now. My Peace Will Return. The universe works for me. why? Because . I love earth. Trees. I sing and dance, pass out flowers to strangers. ... I know all you know...🫤❤️
I had to teach myself to cry again 💀
I had to teach myself to cry out loud.
I silently cried, as, if he heard a peep from me, he'd be back to hurt me more.
I'm 47, and only this year have I been able to grieve my childhood, process, and begin to heal.
Best path ever.
Had to get away from my ex of 21 years to see it.
I'm out. I'm happy. I'm becoming me again. I'm safe. I'm free. It's kindve surreal.
Same, I have lost my ability to cry in my relationship. He would hate me for crying and he oppressed me so badly that I have lost the privilege of being sad…
I had to learn how to smile again- literally!! I was in freeze for decades.
Yes. I'm there too. Thanks for sharing ❤
Me, too. I would cry for about 10 seconds and then it was like an invisible hand would turn the spigot off without my permission! So frustrating!!!!
My now husband has helped me open back up, embrace my crying, not clench my whole body tightly in guilt and shame for shedding tears. My ex royally f-ed me up.
I am finally more ME than I've ever been and it's great!!!!
The rules are unwritten, unspoken, but the punishments are clear. Emotional punishments. If you weren’t using every waking second serving their shared fantasy or mask.. the glare of contempt would get you and it can be threatening and so uncomfortable.
Yes, if you are a kid. But we're not kids anymore and Michelle is teaching us to put up a wall of defense without locking ourselves inside. Thank you, Michelle, for what you do.
But her video of emotional flashback taught me to stop thinking this way. Our brain remembers the emotions. It doesn’t matter How old you are.
I think after so many trials myself, recognizing my inner child still needs healing. Has helped me.
I used to think I’m this and that age now I can’t be thinking like that.. that I shouldn’t dwell on the past it made me feel disgusted w myself, felt like I was ‘playing victim’ (as my narc abuse made it) just like this video, I was at war w myself. (Explaining to myself internally to try and rationalize. That I’m only speaking w myself no one else. So it can’t be like im trying to gain sympathy from anyone. Doesn’t make me a bad person right?)I felt immature and childish. Ofc the shame.
The “shell” of a person thing makes me feel like it’s my own mask, and that is scary.
Narcs totally hate when you laugh and be happy
This video brought me to tears. I don't know who I am anymore and I've been completely isolated. My family loves her. My friends are all gone. I have too much debt to leave on my own. After almost 20 years I don't even remember what used to make me happy or what used to make me an individual. I live as an extension of her... and I'm afraid that's how I will end as well.
Everything will work out ✨
I had no clue who I was. From childhood l was a chameleon, becoming the person everyone around me wanted me to be. I wasn't taught how to find myself....
or BE myself. Who was I? I didn't even _know_ to ask myself this! It was more: who does everyone else need me to be??
I had so many years without laughing, too. 😢 One day I laughed out loud in front of my abusive husband and _I felt like I was cheating on him!!!!_ I felt soooo guilty! For LAUGHING!!
I now laugh all the time! It's glorious!
Becoming who we are after this abuse is painful and wonderful all at the same time.
Yes they will break you down to the point of not excitement to do anything
I remember one day when I was fishing with friends and felt a strong sense of foreboding. I mentioned to one of the friends that I couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen.
She said to me, "Didn't Barry (my ex) get out of prison yesterday?" He had, indeed, just gotten out after doing time for sexually abusing my daughter and exploiting her in a way that would have been trafficking if money was involved). When I said yes, she then said, "Didn't you tell me that when you were married, you would be in trouble when you got home if you were out of the house without him for more than half an hour?"
Bingo. She hit the nail on the head. My brain was still sending a danger alert that it hadn't sent while he was in prison, but was sending again because he was now out.
Edit: You were so right that they don't verbally say you can't do something. My ex didn't verbally say I couldn't go out for more than half an hour without him. He just chewed me out for not being home cleaning if I did. So much so that when I had appendicitis I was so afraid to go to the hospital that I waited until the infection had spread to my intestine and my heart was starting to slow down. And even when I did go it was because my daughter's birthday was the next day and I didn't want to ruin her birthday by dying
I noticed that every time I was 'myself' my mother (who abused me for 20 years) would ignore me.
Any time I spoke about something she liked or wanted; she was all ears and excited.
Thank you for addressing that the narcissists in your life don't necessarily outright tell you that you can't do something. In my situation, there was a a group effort to take me down. I loved to sew, grew up with sewing with my mom and cousins. In this relationship one attack was on my hobby. Yes, I got the glares, and even sabotage of supplies and finally my sewing machine. The worst attack though, was these people- who had no shame in using children in their games- talked to my kids, getting them upset that their mother was sewing. Making them believe that I was doing something wrong. They also stooped to other forms if parental alienation. Your videos are very helpful and validating, in my healing.
I can relate to hiding things.
Same. I’m a sewer and it’s been a whole gang of narcs trying to take me down I’m shook at all this hate because I sew fabric together. Sad I turn away from everything and everybody
Unbelievable what non-existent sel-esteem and envy can do to some people--and their victims!
Maybe that's a skill these unfortunate people wish they had and they don't. Instead of sabotaging those who have a skill, they might come a little closer to some kind of normality if they tried to learn and practice and get that skill instead of resenting those who do have it. My God, they can be annoying and destructive! ...if you let them. Keep sewing❤
Why do people do that though? Nobody seems to be answering that question
This feels so sad but but so true to listen to :( You put into words what I have been struggling with, I miss me so much. Out 18 months after 17 years and still isolating for fear of being me, thank you for explaining this so well x
Do you think you will join Thriver's
Reach out to your inner child... still there to be recovered
Me too. I find myself feeling paralyzed when I want to do something independently even tho I've been no contact for several months. I just realized I'm still somehow on her leash even though she has no way to contact me. Thank you for your comment! May we both be thriving soon!😊
Thank you so much for this 💗 This is exactly where I am at. I struggle also with forgiveness of self for tolerating what no one should tolerate. I am finding myself in isolation.
Me too but this video really opened my eyes. It's not us. It's the trauma bond, which can be broken.
Idk what I would have been without narcissism because I was too young to have formed my personality. My dad was a narcissist
Haven’t cried in years and just started EMDR now I can’t stop thank you for what you do here. I hope to come out of my cptsd shell and join your group.🙏🍀
Have Faith❤
I started crying in 2019 and it has started to let off. When I found Jesus and I had no idea what was wrong with me or if I lived in a narcissistic home... or what a narc was... then my husband told me I was a narc so I internalized and found traits and drove myself mad with that... i was doing the damage at that point and i began to self loath and i literally have no desire to do anything i did in the past. I am not me but i do indeed miss her. I dont even know if I am one or if he is or what. so confused
So sad, I was erased for about 8 years.. and it's been 4 years since we divorced and I'm still dizzy. I don't know how long getting back to myself will take. I'm coparenting with him, so I can't really go no contact..
But I appreciate your channel so much, Michele! I feel seen and validated here!
My healing journey was kickstarted in 2019 when I watched your video titled 20 signs you're a victim of narc abuse, and I related to all of the signs! I realize that healing will be a slow journey, but that's fine as long as I am making progress.
Thank you again, Michele! I really appreciate you!
This is all true! You meed God to help you transformed. I kid you not, I gave my life to Jesus, I prayed for my heart and mind and he has answered my prayers. It feels so much better now. ❤
I had frequent contact with my covert NM for about a year after my dad passed and I just got sicker and sicker. I try to manage now with very limited contact, but still feel that proverbial noose around my neck. I am also the scapegoat so I have extra challenges. I am very careful about any information I give her. She has worked an entire harem against me again, because I refuse the abuse and I refuse to be her servant.
Thank you for this video. It's difficult to explain to people what happened. The narcissist who changed me didn't raise his voice. He didn't need to. He analyzed me and then targeted my specific vulnerabilities. How do you explain that a seemingly innocuous comment was actually aimed at (and hit) the soul?
In my case, it happened in the workplace. The person was my boss. He knew exactly what lines not to cross; he knew exactly how to phrase his abuse so he wouldn't get in trouble. How do you explain it to people, that you feel like you've split into two? That you can't be yourself? That your very being is offensive? Because at work you're not supposed to feel in the first place, let alone _allow_ things to get to you.
I am not the same. But I like the person I am becoming as I heal. I am becoming a force for good in the lives of those around me. The only person who defines my worth now is me.
I broke down last week because I felt that shell. I felt empty.. and lost .. so lost I almost wanted , no I wanted to die because I couldn’t find me
I was completely destroyed. The Gaslighting especially. I was a stay at home dad for 15 years and I put my trust in someone who divorced me as soon as our two kids graduated high school. I now live in a tent all alone because of gaslighting and narcissism
My god, Michele, I listened to it in real time, now I listen to it again, and I'm so triggered. Time to sit with myself.
Thank you for putting a lot of these concepts into words to be able to grasp what's going on. Unfortunately my narcissistic abuse was from infancy, moving from one person/group of people to another throughout my life, within my family, in school, friends, neighborhood kids, and even in one church more recently. I don't know really who I was because I've never had a time in my life without being affected by narcissistic abuse, starting with my birth parents. I'm 59 and just now realizing what I've been dealing with my whole entire life.
Oh, my word! What you said about hiding stuff to stop the abuse! 😯😭 I stopped excelling at school (I was gifted and in more advanced math in 4th grade) when bullies were giving me a hard time about being really smart. I made a self-vow that I would stop excelling in order to not be "seen", and hopefully stop the abuse. I still am carrying that around. Stupid subconscious! 😤
You're right... it's so hard to understand who you really are when the narcissistic abuse starts when we are just kids! Growing and developing our personality we are exposed to our parents or care givers, school, etc... so how can we understand what we like??? If they confuse us, criticise us, diminish us, and so on an forth! It's like when you are so happy, joyful doing something or talking about something and they give you that sarcastic or cruel response to shame you and you instantly feel depressed! You are the happy fire 🔥 and they throw at you an ice cold 🧊 water bucket on your head! 🙈
@JustMe-bl4lb I know EXACTLY what you mean! The bottom just falls out! My heart sinks and I feel like I just need to disappear.
I always know when catch myself starting to relax and starting to enjoy the conversation, just chatting away, the cold OUCH will hit in some form or other!! Yup😢 it sucks So bad. When your own mother is always, all, " I guueeeesss..." non-committally, to everything you say, like YOU JUST MAKE NO SENSE... Even if the rest of the world seems to be able to make sense of what you are saying 362 days of the year, and your mother never seems to be able to, for some stupid reason that carries an inordinate amount of weight. That's hard to overcome.
I did over come it for a long time.
Now the sense of hopelessness often returns with her narcissistic, drunken inability/unwillingness to make the effort to follow a compound sentence that might be about something other than HER!
Her being
my ONLY SOCIAL CONTACT in the last 2 years is feeling counter-productive. It's too much to keep up a positive, healthy self-image, when the ONLY SOCIAL communication one has is with someone who disapproves 😩on some deep and mysterious level of your essential way of being. In fact- she disapproves of my BEING AT ALL, come to think of it! Sssoooo, yea-
I need to remember what it's like to have someone say "" YEA! I KNOW! " to something I say. That feels so good!! ❤😂
Can't wait for this group to start.❤
25+ years before I figured out what I was dealing with.
they really are covert like the name says.
In trying to be what I thought she needed, I completely destroyed my entire self.
Been a year or so rebuilding me. It's tough. Parts of who I am feel funny when they return.
It feels almost wrong if that makes any sense
I'm not a psychologist but it seems you've internalized their attitude. Go back to your true self. These videos help a lot, if you think, reflect and act on what Michelle is teaching us.
@@virginiapalau1153 Wrong. That's about all I need to say to you is that you're wrong
It feels 'wrong' because you were probably conditioned to feel selfish for tending to any of your own needs.
This comes from parents who are emotionally inept and need a punching bag 'child' in order to regulate their emotions due to an antisocial dysfunction from their own childhoods. This gets worse if the abuser has any kind of personality disorder.
This is my take from my own experience.
It is NEVER wrong to care for your own mental health and to live again :)
@vladimirofsvalbard9477 wow. Every person is different from one moment to the next. So how you blanket identify anything is beyond me
Omg I hid everything. The ruminations self hate…..3 decade marriage of same parental upbringing.
I didn’t feel comfortable hanging out with friends bc he would accuse me of cheating, I stopped dressing up because he would make comments about it, I remember I stopped turning on my zoom camera during meetings because he would make comments on how I just want people to look at me, I gave up all my free time to help him or spend time with him and stopped having hobbies.
Yeah you feel sad and blank i lost me and cant get me back how sad
You summed it up perfectly. The search for the lost Self is a sad thing as we realize how far away we got, all in the interest of survival. And it is so hard to move out of survival mode even when we desperately want to. Healing is so much more than ending the relationship. It’s creating a new relationship with your wounded Self. Peace to all 🌷
I’m not even done with this video yet and you are talking about my life. I have to go back and finish this video, but getting away from the abuse wasn’t enough to heal from damage and toxicity that you didn’t deserve a cause it’s a lot of work.
And your right ."I ATTRACT NARCISSIST'S"...
Staring..."Oh I'm just looking at you." Taking classes online that are interesting or my passion, and not really enjoying sitting in front of the TV for hours..."All you care about is yourself." When reading or listening to a podcast, would get constantly interrupted. His youngest teen son does it too.
They love their tv's don't they? They hate that you have real interests outside of them.
I never had myself until my healing. I was the chosen supplier to my mother.
My old confident and assured self seemed like an old distant memory, but when I realised I started allow myself visit things that reminded of the old me..old photos really helped me too
I didn't hide it when i went fishing, but I used to justify it. Even when the people probably didn't care. I fish because I enjoy it. But when I first broke up with my ex and started fishing again, I told people I fished to stretch the grocery budget. Yes, that was part of it, but only about 10%. The rest was just to enjoy fishing. But I felt like fishing for fun wasn't a good reason so I only mentioned the grocery budget to justify it, even to strangers who simply struck up a conversation
So true! I still have books hidden in my bedroom! You just reminded me! 😂😂❤
I feel like I'm living in a bubble.I can't let them win!!!!
Michelle this is one of the most illuminating videos i have ever viewed. Ive been away from her for 5 months and no contact for 4 months, yet i still feel like im on her leash, like shes somehow here with me telling me what i can and cannot do. Now i get it. Im not lazy; its the trauma bond!
Hi Michele, you're doing God's work. peace
I hid books too. I got too quiet walking on constant eggshells. I stayed home when not working. Too much cortisol resulted in life-long uncontrolled triglycerides & liver disease. Im divorced now but the damage was done
Gosh! It's mind blowing! Thank you so much for this video!!! I've never heard of the over coupling. Can you make more videos about it? What are the books, articles or documentaries I can see about it??? It's so important!
It is so true... when we hide our true selfs, our interest, people we like meeting, clothes we like wearing, books and movies we love watching... that's SO DISFUNCTIONAL!!! Indeed, we become disfunctional literally! Itis not normal to hide what you like, love and enjoy! And that's a HUGE SIGN! It tells so much about what's happening to us. And now that you explained it speaking about the over coupling, our mind and body's conflictual reactions it ALL MAKES SENSE!!! 🙈 Hiding things... wow! Its is so simple and obvious but still one cannot see it, understand it! You just become disfunctional like them and do not realise it until it's too late!
Thank you again! Now it's so much clear to me! 🤗
I love the title of this episode, Michelle. This is true on a deeper level than most are willing to look...😢❤
Great video.. Your super smart, powerful, and freaking beautiful..😂It took me a true life lesson to realize these twisted creatures walk among us.. Betrail is by far the worst of the worst.. I threw a match behind me, and never looked back.. I blocked her every way and Sunday… Over a year narc free..😂 Life is truly awesome, once you heal, and understand you are the fool of their twisted game 🇮🇹💪🏿
*Betrayal
They dislike out authenticity.
Yess she is right,the main thing is it is no matter what (they are not going to change)
I relate to this so much. Thank you for sharing. ❤
What if one was grown up in a narcissistic family? How do we find ourselves? We never knew who we were!
Yes, we are in a seriously bad place because this was done to us during the years when our brains were developing. I doubt that we can ever really be "fixed." If some had a healthy childhood and only experienced narcissism in an adult relationship, there is hope for them to recover. Those of us from narcissistic families were never accepted unless we behaved as the family wanted us to behave. We became whatever was required by others in order to be part of the tribe and survive. This affects each of us differently. For me, I grew up to be someone who never knew who I was supposed to be and tried to please and accommodate everyone. I'm sure I made so many mistakes along the way as I tripped through life.
Look up reparenting the inner child and shadow work. ❤
@@nancybartley4610 I totally agree with you. My life has been exactly how you have explained
I related to you hiding your book. I loved making my espresso latte in the morning until my husband said the noise of it wakes him up every morning. Now, I find myself feeling guilty and working around his schedule to make my coffee. I actually felt like he was jealous of me loving that treat for myself.
Hello Michelle,I'ma ✔️ in to rehab by Nov 5th.. issues pile up when you got 5 narcissist's against 1 grounded person,with many _isms"
I grew up with a narc so there is no before and after it's a constant.
This is exactly what happen to me, and that’s how I found out I was being emotionally assaulted by so many people especially at work even physically assaulted
Please we need more videos like this. They explain everything 🤯☺️🙏🙏❤️💯
I am forever grateful to the 3 narcs I was involved with. Thank you for awakening me.
This was very insightful thank you! It reminded me of when I used to enjoy watching cooking/baking programmes and have my finger hovering over the remote ready to change the channel if he came in. 😢
resonate with me 100%. what can I do? they don't help you regulate your emotion, they walk away and left you wounded.
I hate the person that I have become due to narcissistic abuse. I am a totally different person around the narcissist. I’m not married to her so I can still live a tiny little life away from her. But I am not myself at all. I’ll never trust or want to get into a relationship again after I get out of this.
you must take revenge, and the best revenge is to regain yourself and become happy
Great video!There are no words to express how grateful I am,for joining the Thrivers School Michele. You changed and saved my life!❤🙏
"Ordinary" people can totally destroy and erase our true self. I can hardly remember what I liked, who I really was. Knowing now what has happened to me was like oxygen to me. I managed to listen to any kind of music again after these months at the Thrivers School. I've always loved listening to music. Every sound,every kind of music caused me pain inside because of the abuse.
Nice to see Thrivers in the comments )))
I'm so psyched to join in two weeks!!
@@steveblobs4851it's Super Nice to see a good balance of men here on Michele's channel! Are you enrolled? Is it awesome??
Yup, yup, yup! I've totally experienced this. Your video is 100% spot on. Thank you for posting this.
I cried a lot when I was relearning about narcissistic abuse. Michelle you have helped me so much through your continuous videos towards my healing journey. Thanks for your kindness. Your story resonated with me and I felt like you are my sister. I remember hitting myself punishing myself for something that wasn't my fault.😢 You reminded me of myself when I was younger.
This is soooo relatable…
you give me the courage to be authentic. and vulnerable thank you
I am in freezes for while I want to feel peaceful again. I am autistic also not able to do thing which stable me. I hope we all heal from it ❤
I love you Michelle. The admission you made in this video just resonate with my life!!! I have hidden cd's I listened to before he came back or I switched my TV off before his arrival. O my God😮
I broke my arm when I was a child, but my dad said it was alright. It healed slowly and abnormal. To this day, I can't touch my shoulder or extend my arm all the way straight. When I turned 27, my arm locked up, so I had an operation, and they removed a calcium deposit the size of walnut or golf ball from inside my elbow.... 🙂❤
I'm so sorry - I can relate. As an infant my arm was broken (no one knows how). I didn't know until I was waitressing and couldn't hold the plates on my arm, my arm swung out - I asked the doctor and he said it must've been broken and never put in a cast. I went through baby photos and could clearly see one arm curled like babies do, and the other hanging outward... and no one knew I had a broken arm. So - I can relate to this. I'm so sorry you went through this too- sending a huge hug your way!!!!
@FromSurvivingToThriving Thanks, Michelle. I was in 7th grade when it happened. I had to carry my arm and lay it gently on my desk at school for many weeks until it healed. Very painful...
That is part of the past that has made me stronger in knowing who I truly am now. I'm grateful and happy for my unusual tragic experiences in my past. I have always lived an exceptionally extraordinary life . I'm blessed and have purpose even though the powers that work on controlling/ manipulating are in existence...🙂😎❤️
@@FromSurvivingToThriving I mourned for you, Michelle.. 🙂❤️
@@FromSurvivingToThrivingThat touched the deep roots of disgust for your care givers, in me, Michele. I am SO SORRY little you was subjected to such abominable disregard! You can see it in the pictures!... Wow, Girl!! You are one STrong something!! 😮❤
This was extremely eye opening to me! Thank you so much for sharing.
The parallels are very close to my own life.
Wow hello your hair looks extra amazingly beautiful today! Nice to see a refreshing look!
True THAT!! You do look Awesomely glossy, Michele 😂
It takes me about a week to 2 weeks going back to who I was after me and my narc break up which has been six times in the last 6 years but then the minute we get back together and all goes downhill again really sucks
🖐️ 💯 Not allowed to do things I like. Literally disapproved of for being happy. Wow. That hit hard.
There's definitely a spiritual element behind malignant narcissists.
They're spiritually dead and have no ability to connect with another human.
IMHO
He acused me of what he was doing the chance of being with a diffrent person would of been great but i couldnt i was in diffrent world broke my nose still cant breath with it i got autoamune after i left thats life long
Just want to tell you that I watched some of your shorts and was BEYOND helped. Thanks from Ottawa. 🇨🇦
This was so helpful. Thank you for your insight, Michele!
I had the eye opening moment when I started hiding my narc sister's text messages from my boyfriend who does everything in his power to protect me. Now, all of this makes sense.
The last time I watched your videos was six to four years ago during the middle and end of an uh, not safe relationship type thing
After leaving, for a couple years I thought that i was fine and just somehow had very few wounds from like 5 years of pretty extreme stuff
But then the entire massive blob of pain finally resurfaced (but like, worse and 10000000x darker) and haven't felt right since
But bottom line, watching your videos again is the first time I've felt like a good person again since then, without some cloud of like, bad mushroom trip level feelings of evil and shame around me like I'm a monster. And that's pretty powerful, because i try every second of the day to make that feeling go away
Big hugs 💙
random note: While typing this, couldn't stop imagining people reading it with like, extreme mockery and contempt ridicule type stuff...if anyone else experiences that whenever they show any kind of vulnerability, know how bad it feels and big hugs
I have no friends now, i spend nearly all time alone! But i grew up with npd mother til age 7 and one sister who is npd, my father was abusive schizophrenic! Other npd sister was adopted out until she came home at 12! But i am not young, i did have some friends and gone back to AA now!
What if there was no "before"? My earliest memories are of placating, walking on eggshells, peacemaking, pitying. I have no baseline to reference.
Great wisdom you have, Michelle. 🙂❤️
Thank you SO much for this 🙏🏾
Kind of weird but I do that glaring thing and am full of disdain when my husband sits and spreads out his news paper now after 35 years of marriage. But it’s not because I am trying to steal his sense of being himself; it’s because early on in our marriage I realized that he wasn’t interested in talking to me and always had his news paper up in his face when I was talking. I guess I have that reactive abuse thing now.
She is literally the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life. I know this has nothing to do with narcissism, but damn
My mind seems to suffer remembering and realizing when it was easiest to end the situation so it seems I was trying to tolerate the narcissist and coparent for my children...I wasn't happy then, I was happier than I am in this moment though...I downplayed the feelings I felt, therefore down deeper than I thought…He made me miserable majority of the time...I wasnt interested in the narcissist or others, I was drained dealing with him that time to myself was what I wanted most...The narcissist specifically said to me that he'd move on when I move on...Ironically, I wasn't with him so saying 'move on' was the wrong words of I wasn't interested in talking to individuals and was wanting time to myself...Why was it I didn't want to deal with anybody and to him I had to, to make him move on...Its as if my only option was for me to 'move on' and if I didn't to that it meant I'm interested in him...The narcissist wanted me to want him and tried to make me, when he seen I still wasn't interested in him, he deliberately damaged me so I wouldn't want whoever else either...It is definitely draining and I don’t want to deal with that again...Im not myself now...I've never seen this side of me... It is overwhelming and uncomfortable
Dissociation and isolation prevents you from 'losing yourself', at least from not knowing who you are or should be under your trauma. That's how I see it, it's there, under the surface. And that's what I hate about the idea that a long term behaviour is considered to be personality, so if your personality is oppressed by your trauma for a long time, they say it's your new personality, or even a personality disorder. Although if you recover from trauma your true personality can come to light. I never identified myself with my trauma and the row of obstacles it poses, but with my personality I could have by getting rid of its chains. Just like you don't identify yourself with a flu, you don't think you're weak, sleepy, lazy, have no willpower, can't use your brain just because you have an illness. It's not you, you're trying to cure it and regain yourself. That's how I always saw it and getting rid of the obstacles was always my top priority. But how these efforts were sabotaged and fell flat is a different issue.
I also love when you're overwhelmed and don't have capacity to take the pain of others, then you get labelled as someone not having emotions and empathy and being a monster. What a logic...
Thank you for sharing your story so openly and honestly. It was easy to relate to and you gave a lot of good insights. My own story ended when I finally was numb to my own feelings. I never hided my hobbies etc. but her constant unhappiness towards me and feeling of constant guilt (when doing something quite normal) finally got me... and when I needed her support, she left me instantly. I have being whit my kids alone over a year now but things are coming better. I finally came to realize that it was never about me. She wasn't healthy in the first place - even though nobody isn't perfect. But she didn't give me any chance to be my self and grow. That's my tragedy and I'm feeling like I have to start where I left my self over ten year's ago.
Blessings 💜
😢😢IVE CRIED EVERYDAY. 10:YEARS TO MY GUY... I JUST DID. 1 MIN. AGO. I MEAN SS ME I NEED MEMEME BACK 😢😢😢😢😢😢
U joining Thriver's feliciaJoy?
Thank you !❤🥺
It’s like you’re in my head! Wow!
I love this
Thank YOU ❤️
WOW! 🔥😍🔥
Love Michele
Thank you Michele
This is wonderful and so helpful. Thank you Michelle.
I was born to covert N mother overt N father... I have no before. Im mid 50's and still continues daily with surviving mother. It was easier without awareness. No therapist I can afford will take me on. TH-cam clips arent even remotely touching on the abuse. Ive no husband no children no friends. Born unwanted, survived as best I could, yet Im so so tired. Ive nothing left.
thank u sooo much, Ms Michele! ur an inspiration and my idol/role model!
Michele explains things so clearly and simply. I really appreciate her personal insights as a survivor. 💯
This is the best video I've ever listened to about what happened, why, and how to heal ❤ amazing! Thank you!
I like your hairs style
Thank you to your video.
Yup
I still feel fear, talking.
I got disowned like yesterday:s thrash!!
What if the narcissistic abuse happens during your formative years like five to twelve years old?
It's hard, but healing is possible.