My parents blamed me cuz my mom was diagnosed with diabetes, saying that "You caused her stress!!!" I was 16 at that time. To this day they think that it is something that i should just get over and "They didn't meant it" and still don't think that it was an AH move. Still salty bout that
and you have every right to still be upset! diabetes isn’t caused by stress, it’s caused by either them not taking care of themselves or it’s from birth, or she could even have had gestational diabetes but still would not be your fault, your mom is at fault
@@adrianadavis39 That doesnt matter to them, I remember crying under blankets and being severely depressed over this cuz at that time I really belived that it was because of me, and they continued to blame me, I feel like thats when my personality started to change but who knows.
You have every right to be angry. They purposely excluded you and your daughter from the family when they invided everyone else but you both on the trip. They got mad that you stood up for yourself. They don't deserve you and your daughter in their lives. Theirs no room for favorites or cliques in families. Blood or not you either choose to be there for each other or you don't.
My mom and her wife did same thing to me it was the first Saturday of the month and I came home after a long day at work and no one was home a minutes to an hour later, enters my mom , her wife , the wife's daughter and the daughter's friend all decked out in parade gear , I felt excluded when I asked them why couldn't just pick me up from work early so we could enjoy the parade and festival together I no that they have lives and couldn't worry for the likes of me
@@Space0foxwhy is there always someone trying to blame the victim? Besides if OP was so toxic why were they so mad that OP wouldn't text them? Wouldn't they be happy that such a toxic person is out of their lives? They just wanna use op for their selfish desires of being grandparents without actually being there for either op or ops child
@@ApricotSauce What if the op was a Karen whose behaviour was horrible towards others? We dont know, I myself would call the cops to someone who is for example rude or demand everthing from me.
My parents stole over $1000 I had earned from working out of my bedroom when I was 15. I was in a coma at hospital at the time from attempted unaliving. I had memory loss when I woke up, and when I finally remembered they continued to lie about it for years. My mum finally admitted to me that it was true last year. I’m 31.
My parents denying my wants at every turn throughout my life. Once I got a job and started making money I started enjoying hobbies I never had a chance to try like Karate, Boxing, Wrestling, Tennis, Archery, Camping, Cycling, Woodworking, etc. I started spending a lot of time at my hobbies which left my parents feeling ignored. My mother calls me about this, I told her I was busy, she was angry I was prioritizing my hobbies, I told her I never had the chance to do these things, at one point she said “We gave you everything you needed, every opportunity to try new things. We didn’t raise you to be this selfish.” Utter nonsense, I told them that they denied my wants for years, they claim to have never heard them. Literally 4 years of asking to join the boy scouts only to be told “Stop asking it’s annoying me.” Then to be later told that I never spoke up about the things I wanted. If it weren’t for my siblings backing me up I doubt my parents would’ve thought twice about it. I can’t tell if they were actually shocked or pretending to be. Then they later told me that even if I did say something I should’ve fought for it. As if I didn’t go to my uncle and started a whole argument about this before. As if I wasn’t shoveling snow and mowing lawns for money. That I wasn’t getting my school coaches to call my parents multiple times. Look my parents gave me what I needed to be alive, food, shelter, and clothing; but nothing else, maybe a game during Christmas. They are penny pinchers. I also blame them for my being fat as a kid. The moment I moved out and started my own diet, within a year I was 70-80 pounds lighter.
It's sad because at the end of the day we become the adults that we needed for ourselves at a young age. Good job on atleast enjoying and living life as you wanted as an adult and even standing up for yourself. Hope everything gents better and better for you going forward
The next time they deny it, just tell them "You know I'm right. You know what really happened and all of this is on you. You can pretend all you want, it doesn't change the truth." It's sad because they'll never admit they're wrong, they'll always be the victim.
My parents were not as bad as yours... actually they are kinda amazing... but I think my dad may have some type of autism... he's very quiet and rarely talks (no ptsd or anything). So even tho my dad did let me play all the sports I wanted to, and do boy scouts... he was always just kinda there and not telling me about life or teaching me. He told me recently that he "led by example" which is totally true... but I think I may be autistic too so I could never see or read any of that. So with my kids I never stop talking, asking about their interests, making eye contact why they tell me about things that I don't 'actually' find fascinating. I teach them about everything I've learned and really try to explain how they will need to see these things as they grow. I also hug them and tell them I love them loudly and constantly! Not something my dad ever did once.. I agree with the one guy, we keep the good things from our parents, and work on the less than good things... and we get a little better every generation.
My stepdad said i would never be his kid. To my face. Multiple times. Now hes mad when i call him my step father and introduce him to others as mark. Screw you mark. You cost me my childhood and my life. This is on you.
I wouldn't even call him stepfather to be honest. A stepfather is still some kind of parental figure but since you're not his kid whatsoever then he's just "mom's husband" till the end of his days I were in your shoes.
My stepfather said, word for word, "no, because I am not your dad" when I was about 7 when I asked him why we couldn't have a father daughter relationship. My relationship with my own dad was strained so it hurt. Needless to say, stepfather and I did not get along as long as he was married to my mom. Years later he got all pissy and upset because he said something and I replied, in typical teen fashion, "no, because you're not my dad." He seemed to forget telling me the same shit 10 years ealrier. He ended up saying some edgy shit like "you remember what you just said." Like bro, I never fucking forgot what you said. 🤷🏻♀️
He doesn't get to have it both ways. The way you talk about him, as someone who is not your biological parent, is entirely contingent on the choices and decisions he's made. And he screwed up.
She always chose men over her kids. Her last marriage lasted 10 years, despite him abusing her kids in EVERY way. Even then, the only reason she left is because I finally came forward about the abuse and she wanted to save face. She played the victim to my trauma that she did nothing to prevent.
A few years ago, a situation came about that led to multiple people (including my mom) finding out about my older brother SAing me when we were kids. I’ll never forgive her for her only reaction being to look at me and say “I won’t let this ruin his life.” I found out later that she called him and asked if he really did it. His only response was that he “didn’t remember”. I knew, in that moment that, no matter what he did, her “only son” could do no wrong. (At that point, they hadn’t spoken in months. And they haven’t spoken again in about 4 years… she still defends him to me.)
My parents and family have always done this to my daughter and I. She is now an adult and my mother cannot figure out why she doesn't have a relationship with her and doesn't get to see the great grand kids. I visit my mother occasionally and call her occasionally out of obligation. Once she is gone I will never have any contact with the rest of the family again. And I have a huge family. My daughter and her family and I are our own family.
My mother screamed at me when i was 13 saying she didnt care about me anymore, and i didnt deserve her love because i was failing history. Its been 5 years since then and she has made it crystal clear that she still doesnt care
Did you ever just stop?? Or something like just leave and never care back no matter what😃 (Me not really feeling anything but confusion (?) but will say my OWN opinion🔝🆙)
I hope for the day you move out, you thank her for being your temporary guardian since your mom passed away [x] years ago. And you address her by her first name and say something along the lines of "May our path never cross from now on." Bonus if you drive by and flip her off. 😂
@demonwolf1668 I had cared, and tried to get her to care about me until I turned 18. I had done all the sports she had done, I passed everything with flying colors. But when I graduated she didn't come. That's when I gave up
I have experienced something similar. During my year of medical internship, my family hide all the family reunions and special moments from me. They would chose the days I had shift (you work 32 hrs non-stop) so I wouldn't notice. I missed my niece baptism, my nephew baby shower, "cancelled" birthday parties, and so much more. It hurst so much cause I knew my extended family didn't care one bit about me, but my nuclear family? After all I have sacrificed to keep them happy and out of each other's throats? This has happened a few times before, they "forgetting" my graduation's date, or refusing to go the ceremonies when I was awarded best student cause "they had more important things to do". On top of that they forced me to help raise my nephews, so to this bloody day I have to be at my sister's house between my work shifts to help her, a stay at home wife, to take care of her own children. I love my nephews with all my heart, they are the reason I'm willing to keep helping, plus now I'm actually invited to all family events as a babysitter for my nephews. But I have decided that my family won't be invited to any of my events in the future. It's not like they would bother to show up anyway.
I'd go NC for a while tbh. If my family was treating me like a damn servant. Let's see if they'd start to appreciate you for all the things you do. When they have to do all those things themselves.
The nephews are not your children and when they get older may end up with the same attitude, then you would be thinking about that, make the choice and choose who wants to be with you, maybe difficult but take care of you first, family is who cares about you, just as much as you care about them.
Personally, I would say just don’t talk to them for a few months, maybe just two. If they ask you for something, just say no, even if you love your nephews, you need to respect yourself, since they’re just using you as a servant, you can’t keep letting them do this, or they’ll expect you to always do it. Show yourself some respect, and just say no to them for like a month or two, and they’ll either realise they don’t need you, in which they’ll stop talking to to you, and you’ll know they were just using you, or they’ll realise they need you, and will actually treat you with some respect. Either way it’s a better outcome then now
Yo stop. What the hell are you doing? You're not gonna die if you ghost them for a few months. Even your nephews. She's gonna take care of her own kids. Go somewhere else
My mom broke her arm in minor accident after a fight with me (14 at the time)...she blamed it on me and said that i broke her arm and told everyone including her friends and family.....years later my manager who went to the hospital after my constant begging (cuz of a swollen hand) came back with a cast (her finger was fractured) she jokingly said its because of me shes in a cast ...it triggered me and i had such a bad panic attack thanks mom
When i had recently moved out of state with my abusive parents, i was at the lowest of my depression. Didn't eat, didn't get out, barely sleep, didn't talk to anyone... And my grandmother that was 600 km away from me had an heart attack, gladly she survived. We didn't know until a week after everything, when she had already started recovery. Then, my grandparents called me, after ignoring me when i desperately needed then and didn't want to go with my parents and asked to stay with them even swearing i would work and give them my pay (i was only 17 when it happened). So they called months later, when i was wasting away just to tell us that my grandmother had a heart attack and it was my fault. They pushed me so deep in my depression that, if it wasn't for my best friend sixth sense, i'd not be able to be here and tell this story.
i broke down one night trying to explain my mental state when i was 15. i realized that my father didnt actually believe that i had attempted to end my life at that time. that every time its been mentioned since it came out when i was 17 he has thought i was lying. so i sat there across the table from him and begged him to believe me. and he just stared at me.
@@beneditamclorn2843because as a minor that’s the only way you can get psychological help. you cannot get it on your own and if you attempted then clearly there is something wrong and you should talk to someone about it.
I've been trying to end my life been too much of a coward to follow through I actually like living and have a few things to look forward too. Sadly none of these things include a bright future for my self I can't honestly see what my life would look like 3 years from now.
Sounds like OP wanted her daddy to pay for her and her daughter dinseyland trip. As an adult you pay for yourself. The dad literally said when she and her daughter go on a trip with them it cost them a lot of money. Meaning daddy/granddaddy pays all the time. Plus it's no fun going on vacation with people who obviously don't like you. AKA step mom. If OP and her daughter always wanted to go to dinseyland just save up and go. It's less stressful with less people involved. Unless you expect someone else to pay.
My mom didn’t talk to me for the majority of my pregnancy because I wouldn’t celebrate both Thanksgiving and Christmas with her. My parents are divorced so I always have to split the holidays. She chose Thanksgiving. As we got closer to Christmas, I mentioned that I would celebrate Christmas with dad and see her the next day. She was furious and stopped talking to me. After many attempts to contact her, she blocked me. Towards the end of my pregnancy, she randomly showed up to my house and we got into a huge argument. She acted like she never did anything and it was all my fault. She started laughing at me and said I was crazy. I haven’t spoken to her since and not planning to. This is just one of the few things she’s done to me and IM DONE!!!! Just so y’all know, she’s previously accused me of flirting with her bf. Stopped talking to me for a year for not celebrating father’s day with her bf when I have my own father. She’s only dated him for a few months then. She expected my father to kick me out of the house when she found out I was pregnant. I was 33 and was living with dad at the time to help pay rent and bills. I only lived with him for 3 months before I moved out. I wasn’t a kid!!! 🙄
I'd be gathering evidence and getting a restraining order on her if possible. Save yourself so much stress, you probably make a case that if she treated you that bad you don't want to find out how she'll treat your kid.
My father when i was 6 to 12 years old would tell me that he was the reason my mom was still alive and say hes the reason she didnt get a bullet to the head (he was the reason she tried to do it) and said she was ungrateful for getting a divorce because she didnt want to put up with him anymore. He did many things but that stuck with me the most.
I have always been short (4'10" as an adult) when kids my mom and aunt always took cousins to amusement parks, zoos, ect. I was forced to go even though I wasn't tall enough to ride anything so I had to stand around and hold everyone's stuff while they rode rides and stuff. They got mad when I got a summer job at 13 and couldn't go anymore, but they all still went.😂 😂😂 15 yrs later and they still won't talk to me for ruining their trips. 😂😂😂 They never talked to me before so how was i supposed to know they quit? 😂😂😂
I, for one, still can't forgive my parents for a fucked up school life. You know... Sometimes it's hard to be good at everything, but to give me punishments and scream that I'm an idiot because of one single thing is overkill. Of course, I was still compared to others. Until now I am angry, and I am 28 years old.
Saaame. I was the only kid in class, dreading anything but straight A's in school. But how would I not, if my mom's first reaction at an A- was either "What did you fuck up this time?" or "Who got a better score?"
My mother knew for a fact that I due to my autism and anxiety can't stand kids and the idea of pregnancy disgusts me (Ignoring that I'm a lesbian and she was aware of that) yet she told our mutual friend (whos more like a mom to me that she ever was) that I should "just get pregnant" and that "She (my mother) would take care of the baby" despite living with her (my aunt also lived with us at the time and now that my mom's dead she's my caretaker) and that I would be in a constant state of sensory overload. I have a violent and angry reaction to the sound of babies crying, and I don't trust myself to be around them for long periods of time.
Context: my parents are divorced and my siblings are all considerably older then me and have all children. My sister invited me to my nieces birthday and I told her I'd love to come but sadly I was going on vacation with my dad, so I couldn't. A few weeks later my mother and I had planned to hang out. When I arrived she didn't open the door, so I called her and got very worried when she didn't pick up, I descided to text her and wait in front of the door. 30 minutes later she texted me back, saying she forgot and that she was on her way to my nieces birthday. Not only did noone bother to tell me it was postponed knowing I would have liked to come but my mother simply forgot about our meeting, which is jn and on itself practically impossible since she writes literally everything in her calender.
My mom took me away from my dad because he wouldn't pay her money. She said she was asking a reasonable amount but she was asking for about 3\4 my dad's paycheck and that he take her out on expenses dates every week. It got old fast and when I moved out she kept begging me to give her money. She's not broke she just doesn't want to spend her money
I will never be able to forgive my mother for rudely waking me up after I attempted to 💀 myself twice in one night, having her scream at me that i was a "disrespectful, entitled, dramatic b¡tch" and her waiting two full days to take me to the ER (it wasnt even her, it was my maternal grandma) and her waiting until my forced hospitalization was almost done to even talk about visiting me at the psych ward, and I will never forgive my "father" for only ever using me to look good to his girlfriends (my parents are not together) and never any other time, he would ignore my existence for years on end, and he left in me in a physically, emotionall and s3×ually abusive situation for years.
something i cant ever forgive my mother for is something that happened a few years ago i already had a huge grudge against her because she had been an emotionally abusive narc my entire childhood but this was the icing on the cake, and even though she's gotten a little better in the past year or so i just will never be able to forgive her or look past it So for background, when i was 11 (im 17 now) my family took in an 18 year old guy into the family, he had been a family friend with abusive parents so the second he was 18 he ran away and we unofficially "adopted" him. And since i had desperately wanted an older brother at that time i, i jumped on that opportunity. long story short, he ended up m0lesting me and grooming me and recording me showering until i was like 14 and a half and finally spoke out about it. He got kicked out, but not long after my mother told me she still loved him, and he was still apart of the family, even if all contact is cut. She later told me, maybe 6-10 months later, that she doesnt mean it anymore and she regrets saying it, but just the fact that she SAID IT in the first place to ME of ALL people, I'll never be able to forgive her for it, and if it makes me the asshole or overly petty then i'll be petty to the damn grave
You were abused by this woman and then (once someone else took advantage of you) she said that your abuser was "still family" and "she still loves him." Of course you'd be upset! Even if she takes it all back, that hurt is still there and you have every right to feel it. Especially since she was so tactless as to say it to your face! Like it's one thing if she's having a hard time letting go of this person but kept it to herself but to express it to the victim and take the better part of a year to take it back is a whole other thing.
My mother called me the f slur because I was dating a guy at the time 🤣 I tore into her about how she never got me help for my childhood SA nor asked me how I felt about anything that happened to me FOR YEARS, and told her how I found it laughable that she thought she could have an opinion now that I've had more successful relationships with men than she ever did. Got real quiet after that 🥴
My mom has a few different health problems (mostly because of all the drugs she did as a teenager, but shes been completely clean since before I was even conceived), and I remember one particular time when mom had to get teeth pulled because she has a calcium deficiency. My dad would use that as a way to guilt trip my brother and I for being "bad kids" by telling us "you're stressing your mom out so bad youre making her teeth fall out!". One conversation with my mom later and telling her what he said, and her response was to laugh and say "stress doesn't make your teeth fall out. You guys didnt do this, it was probably all the drugs." So, yeah 💀 (Edit: grammar)
This happened to my mum and I. Not a trip to Disney land. But we was left out a family photo. My mum didn't work Inwas only 2/3 yrs at the time so we could of gone to my Grandparents house to see the family that was visiting as their came over for a few months from Australia. The whole family was in the picture even my uncles girlfriend (now my aunt, but their weren't together more than a year) my mum was heartbroken when she found out. We found the photo again when clearering out my Grandparents house. I looked into my Grandads diary as no-one every said why we weren't apart of that family photo. Too this day my mum doesn't believe where blood related to the family as mum says she doesn't look like either of her parents so that's why we was left out. But my Grandparents adored me, loved my mum but she is very much the black sheep of the family even to this day. We hardly see any of the family. None of them have asked to see my daughter much as she was a premature during lockdown it's heart breaking.
My mother left when I was 5. She called 3 times drunk and in the middle of the night. At 18 she calls me, she was divorcing and wanted custody of her 2 girls. She wanted me to testify what a great mother she was and help her get custody. I said I would, but she had to send my brothers a Christmas card and birthday cards. She never sent anything! I think she realized I wound never help her cause she is the worst mother in the world!!
We was at a family gathering I was in the bathroom when I overheard my dad cousin asking my dad why was he so mean towards your daughter he said I don’t like her never have never will. He’d ground me for 6 weeks for having straight A and not A+ we lived in another state so he’d tell his family that I was ground for bad grades. Years later his family brought that up and I had my grad cards to show he was wrong. They gave him ruckus about it. My dad served our country from 1958-1982. Back then if the wife wanted out of the marriage they lost everything including children. Yes my dad hated me but he hated my mom for say yes to marriage. I asked later why if he didn’t like my mom he told me it’s because his mom told him he was not to ask her. He did it for spite he was filled with hate to his final day. His whole family hated us. And all o can say is I feel sorry for them because instead of hating us they all could have took the time to get to know us as a person. But I forgive and life goes on.
My parents demanded I pay them 5k for the family car when I was in college. I had the money, ponied up and said fine. BUT when my brother went off to college he gets the other family car for free. I went to a service academy so my school was completely paid for and I’m now serving in the armed forces. He was running up a crap ton of student loans that they co-signed for at a liberal arts school out of state. The favoritism knows no bounds and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
This is my family with everything. Going to the pumpkin patch, going to amusement parks, etc. Never invited. I dont even bother with them anymore. It isnt worth it. It hurt at first though.
Never invited to any family gatherings, I'll only see them when they post photos on social media. They will only invite me if they are doing potluck and wants me to bake for them because I am the best baker in our family. One time, got invited for my aunt's bday because they want me to surprise her with a cake. When I was asking for their share of the expenses, they want a two tier cake, suddenly the party wasn't gonna happen. They thought I wouldn't know it, because I rarely use the social media platform they are using, but I still saw photos of them with store brought cake at a party. So my petty revenge was to bake my own two tier cake complete with icing flowers and posted it on my profile. My mom wasn't happy but I told her I am not their free use baker 😂
I know exactly how op feels. It's been like that my whole life. Now they're doing the same thing to my kids. Forgiveness isn't even in my vocabulary anymore.
Just go low contact on them, go on trips with your daughter, just you and her, as far as i know Disneyland is already expensive, go on road trips out of town, like beaches, resorts, waterparks, even universal studios, pretty sure there are more places to explore for you and your daughter and post it on your social media, if they asked why they were not invited, just throw back what rick said "you'd make it difficult and more expensive if you came 🤷🏻♀️"...they had their fun, make your own and make it special
My mom broke my nose along with my half-sisters. It grew crooked, because of it. It still affects me. I tried to get them to pay, because I don't think I'll be able to. Its a heavy weight to carry; anxiety kills me because of it.
Serious trigger warning ⚠️ . . . . . . . . . . . . My parents brushed me off and didn't act either of the times I told them about my brother SA me growing up. By the time I turned 18 it had gone on for a decade and when I finally put my foot down and stood up for myself it tore my family apart. If they had done something when we were kids, it wouldn't have had to be this way...my dad died last year still making excuses and acting like I should just "get over it" and forgive my brother for a decade plus of abuse.
I kinda blame my dad for him dying. The doctors told him to lose weight, eat healthier, and stay active,like maybe walk the block once a day. They told him if he didn't, he was shortening his lifespan. Well, he didn't do any of those things, and now, like his doctors told him would happen, he's gone forever. Sometimes I blame myself for it as well.
My mom wanted a boy for her second child and and I was born female (but i'm trans now so I guess she got what she wanted😂) So she would consistently tell me She never wanted me and she wished I was never born that's she regrets having me and they should have just gotten my little brother the first time But of course she never said those things According to her
My dad di3d of cancer and my whole family acuse me of his d3ath cuz "u was a spin in his rib" He had heart disease for over 20yrs and more complicated illnesses but me out of all? It hurts to know they simply hate me...
People who act like this are the guilty ones. They gas light you because they know they're wrong. Have a wonderful life on your own. Make sure your daughter knows that she grows up that they chose their life that for some reason through no fault of her own or yours that the step grandmother has decided to be this way and the grandfather chose. Make her realize she is not going to inherit anything no knick knacks no pieces of anything Believe me I know I've been there but everything she does in life she can do on her own and guess what The greatest thing that happens is my dad were married again and my step sister from that other woman treats me golden because I treated her with respect and though she got all my dad's money I knew I was never getting anything I treated them pleasantly and she's giving me some of my dad's things things I grew up with as a kid that I never thought I would see because the rest of the family treated me like s*** I didn't do anything wrong I was just adopted My parents thought they couldn't have kids at first and then oh they did.
When I was born my bio father said I wasn't his and he didn't show up to the delivery room only people who showed up was my moms side of the family also my dad would go six months without seeing me and then would see me for six months on and off for about a year and he was also abusive in the past
My parents said it was my fault my sister died because it meant I didn’t love her enough. She got Covid and they ignored her. Now they’re mad I’m moving out of state with my husband into base housing and they won’t be able to just show up at my door.
Contact everyone else who went and just casually tell them you wish you and your daughter could have gone as well and you are disappointed they didnt even extend an invitation to join.
Not that I will or won’t forgive my mother for this, but it definitely helped me understand where I stand with her and how I will move forward towards her. I was sat next to her, someone calls. They must’ve asked who she was with and my mother says: I’m with my kids (referring to my half siblings) and Dani. She was with her kids and me. She doesn’t consider me her child anymore? I could tell that this sort of thing was something she was used to saying. I didn’t feel angry, I didn’t even mention it. It just made a lot make sense after that. My mother remarried and had more children when I was in my late teens. I’ve always been there for my younger siblings, never referring to them as my half siblings. Even formed a closer bond with them since I’m so much older and got to see them grow up from birth. My siblings are now entering their teen years, and despite how involved and close I’ve been in their lives, they very apparently act as though they are one family, and my mothers other children are just distant relatives. It’s disappointing and I never saw it coming… but at least I know now.
My parents treated my older sister as the golden child who was perfect and would never do anything wrong. I was treated as as the "obligatory" 2nd child and got blamed for anything and everything (example: 5 years ago my father blamed me for a car accident my mother was in, I wasn't driving, I wasn't even in the vehicle, she was just driving to my house from hers, so it was all my fault and I should pay). My parents still act this way to this day and refuse to acknowledge it.
So it's time you take your daughter to Disney World in Orlando Florida or maybe to Disney Japan or Disney Paris or someplace else I realize it's a lot more expensive those places are but she'll have one hell of a place thing to say to her nephews and nieces and cousins and uncles and aunts and even Grandma and Grandpa if they ever get together with her again this is where we went
How would the expenses be and issue for them other than maybe paying for the tickets or hotels but that usually split between all the adults, it’s crazy they left out a 9yo who would have been the perfect age to actually remember the trip and enjoys her time there.
When I was about 8-10 years old, and my mom was in an active drug addiction to meth and a few other things, there was one night I could recall that I could never forgive her for. I was out in the living room watching TV, and both of my brothers were in their room, so I just happened to be alone when she decided that she didn't trust me. She ransacked my room and threw all my clothes on the ground, my personal belongings, etc. Not finding anything, she goes into a fit of rage and storms out into the living room, grabbing a good chunk of my hair and dragging me across the floor. Throwing me into the corner of the hallway, she yells to me and says, "You f**king ruined my life, you ruined my marriage. I wish I had that abortion and wish you were never born." Then procedures to tell me that I need to clean my room up after she destroyed pretty much everything in there. It really hurt tbh. I just felt my whole world shatter and fell into a deeper depression. It's probably the worst thing she said to me, and she never even apologized for it even after the fact that I'm almost 20 years old now. She says, "i don't remember that happening." I still struggle with depression room this day cause of all the shit she did to me as a kid. ((She is also schizoaffective which didn't help the fact. If you don't know Schizoaffective disorder is just you having Schizophrenia/symptoms like Schizophrenia and a mood disorder like bipolar.))
A good thing that everyone should keep in mind is the water of the womb is not thicker than the blood of the covenant This has become my favorite quote Or the the seed of the man is not thicker than the blood of the covenant I decided to make a variation on this
My dad walked out on us on my 11th birthday (i’m the youngest of 3) and my dad and step mom got me into medical debt by denying my insurance coverage without telling me.
when i was young i ripped my earlobes because i couldn't get my earrings out recently i was thinking about getting plastic surgery to fix them and thats when i realized that my mom could have immediately taken me to the hospital to get stitches. But she didn't and that has been really bothering me ever since.
My parents always treated me like the least favourite child and because of their actions I can't enjoy any Holliday except halloween cause every other one even my birthday are linked to their own traumatic memory It was mostly my mother and stepmother's fault though and my dad has made a great effort to mend our relationship and I do forgive him for not being the best father to me as a child but even though I love him and I do want him to be part of my life still I don't think I can fully forgive him until he admits that my stepmother is a horrible, vindictive and abusive person and leaves her It's not his fault that he fell in love with her but he's choosing to stay with her despite knowing how she treats his kids and him as well, I live full time with my abusive mother cause that's better than living with my stepmother cause at least my mother mostly ignores and neglects me instead of yelling and belittling 24/7 I'm finally an adult and I'm planning on moving out with my boyfriend soon he just needs a job and I need to get a better paying job so we can afford it
Full story: AITAH For Telling My Family to F Off After They Planned a Trip to Disney Without Me? So context - my siblings and I are all over the age of 30, with most of us having children. I have 3 siblings, 2 of which are biological. I found out through an Instagram post that they all planned an entire trip to Disneyland without even telling me, despite the fact that I have a 9-year-old daughter that my parents pretend to care about, who would have loved to go. I have reached out and texted every single one of my family members, including my sister-in-law and brother-in-law, within the last month, and none of them told me about this big ‘family’ trip they intended to take. Another relevant note - my biological mother died when I was young and my father married a woman, my step mom - we’ll call her Pat. Pat has treated me terribly since she met me, presumably because I was the oldest of my siblings and therefore I actually remember my real mom, while my younger siblings don’t. My step mother also has an adopted child that she treats far better than me and my full siblings. It’s blatantly obvious and they don’t even try to hide it anymore. In response, I originally wrote to both of them telling them I was bummed because their granddaughter would have loved to spend time with them, and that I didn’t even have to go. I also mentioned the fact that this wasn’t the first trip they had hidden from me - they also took everyone on a vacation to Hawaii last summer without even mentioning it to me. My father, we’ll call him Rick, wrote back almost immediately, saying that I’ve made things ‘difficult and expensive’ and telling me to ‘save the guilt trip’ because we moved out of state last year. I understand that, but the issue is that we had plans to visit them at the end of March anyway, and happily would have moved our plans around so our 9-year-old could go to Disney with her cousins, aunts & uncles, and grandparents. We didn’t even get that chance, however, because they all decided to go to Disney without even telling me. After Rick’s reply, Pat decided to reply too, saying that I clearly didn’t want to actually talk and that she was only willing to have the conversation on a phone call. I told her to call me anytime because my child has done nothing to deserve to be excluded, especially when her entire family is there, and that if they had mentioned it to us we would have changed our trip so our daughter could go. Pat, of course, never called, so I finally texted Rick and told him not to contact me. I told him he was a terrible person for excluding a 9 year old girl who loves them to death, and that I had no interest in speaking to them ever again. Pat literally threatened to call the police on me two weeks ago because I didn’t reply to her text within 6 hours. She somehow still made me out to be the bad guy in that situation. That’s nothing new - she’s been feeding Rick her bullshit since I was 13 years old, blaming me for things she did or didn’t do. So, AITAH for telling Rick to ‘have the life you deserve with the other children and grandchildren you actually care about’? I don’t feel like this is how a family should operate. Seeing the picture of everyone I love, including my niece and nephew, on a family trip I wasn’t even told about, was devastating and so hurtful. I don’t think I’ve ever felt as rejected as I did in that moment. Anyways, thank you if you’ve read this far, and I appreciate you. **ETA: I’m having trouble keeping up with the comments, but I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who comments. I’m grateful for all of you! Also wanted to add: I recently reconnected with the nanny who raised me. She was there before and after my mom’s death, and she knew her and loved her. She found out what happened and decided that she and I should take my daughter to Disney in May. So although I’ve had to go NC with my ‘family’ over this, I’m also lucky to have caring people that want to include my daughter in their lives. I call her ‘mom’ and my kids call her ‘Gigi’, and we appreciate her so much. Thank you again for the support. It’s comforting to know I’m not crazy or alone in this.
My cousins lost their dad when they were young. Since then, they both developed anxiety, especially the girl. They moved across the street from my family and moved in with my grandparents. I had been going through some very hard times for me and one day, I just couldn't talk to anybody else. I told them all I had an headache and left to head to my room. I watched some TV and my female cousin came in. She asked how I was and asked if I wanted to hang out. I politely told her I didn't want to hang out and thanked her for checking on me. She left and apparently, she told everyone that she thought the tv was more important to me than her. This had happened a lot but I had gotten so tired of it, I ignored her for a while. Word got out to my friends and they got angry at me. My friends and I are friends once more, but now it's hard to say anything around my cousin without hurting her feelings and having it hurt me. AITA?
Its strange say 20 people dont mention it to specifically OP.. we assume she's nice we only get her side. She might be dramatic, spraff ect would ruin it.
Look lady you are not missing anything anyone that takes their children there seriously should be arrested for child neglect. I had a bad experience the first day of the opening ceremony of the one in Florida the crowd shoved me away and I was lost all day I didn’t have any fun I was 5 at the time yes my parents were looking for me but there’s a lot of people that day.
Im just wondering why the siblings didn't say anything. I have 5 siblings, if my father told me to keep it a secret from one of them i would've told them and i wouldnt have gone myself.
I know I'm getting better, bit by bit, but I still blame my parents (especially my mom) for my hoarding problem. for 11 years, while living with my grandmother, I never had a door, just a bed sheet... it was a total nightmare as my cousins would just walk in while I'm not there and just take whatever they want and when I say something, they told me to drop it or they'll buy me another one, which ended up in a quite fight a the store because they blame me for not hiding it well... but yet, they also told me that hiding is also sinful... oh! and they also forgotten that I never had a door in the first place!!!
![[LIVE] : ONE ลุมพินี 85 | คู่เอก "ยอดเหล็กเพชร vs ผึ้งหลวง"](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Qq_19bnnxEo/mqdefault.jpg)
My parents blamed me cuz my mom was diagnosed with diabetes, saying that "You caused her stress!!!" I was 16 at that time.
To this day they think that it is something that i should just get over and "They didn't meant it" and still don't think that it was an AH move. Still salty bout that
and you have every right to still be upset! diabetes isn’t caused by stress, it’s caused by either them not taking care of themselves or it’s from birth, or she could even have had gestational diabetes but still would not be your fault, your mom is at fault
@@adrianadavis39 That doesnt matter to them, I remember crying under blankets and being severely depressed over this cuz at that time I really belived that it was because of me, and they continued to blame me, I feel like thats when my personality started to change but who knows.
@@dragonslayernightcore1852that really sucks, feel sorry for you
Your parents not being on your side is something that really shouldn’t happen unless your like a tyrant or murdering people, which you didn’t do
Stress doesn't make someone a diabetic. U dealing with a bright bunch there😅 good luck
You have every right to be angry. They purposely excluded you and your daughter from the family when they invided everyone else but you both on the trip. They got mad that you stood up for yourself. They don't deserve you and your daughter in their lives. Theirs no room for favorites or cliques in families. Blood or not you either choose to be there for each other or you don't.
What if she was a problem? We dont know what she did to a family and it looks like they might have a reason for such behavior
My mom and her wife did same thing to me it was the first Saturday of the month and I came home after a long day at work and no one was home a minutes to an hour later, enters my mom , her wife , the wife's daughter and the daughter's friend all decked out in parade gear , I felt excluded when I asked them why couldn't just pick me up from work early so we could enjoy the parade and festival together I no that they have lives and couldn't worry for the likes of me
@@Space0foxwhy is there always someone trying to blame the victim? Besides if OP was so toxic why were they so mad that OP wouldn't text them? Wouldn't they be happy that such a toxic person is out of their lives? They just wanna use op for their selfish desires of being grandparents without actually being there for either op or ops child
@@Space0fox stepmom threatened to call the cops on her over a text, doesn't sound like op is the problem here
@@ApricotSauce What if the op was a Karen whose behaviour was horrible towards others? We dont know, I myself would call the cops to someone who is for example rude or demand everthing from me.
My parents stole over $1000 I had earned from working out of my bedroom when I was 15. I was in a coma at hospital at the time from attempted unaliving. I had memory loss when I woke up, and when I finally remembered they continued to lie about it for years. My mum finally admitted to me that it was true last year. I’m 31.
That's sad😢
Nahh they do not deserve you
@@taiganb3463 thanks chick ❤️ they did a lot worse but it’s in the past now
Woowww id see if there any legal action I can take that's just bullshit
@@MahalaHumbert-ff4kj my mum paid it back to me last year but it was about 17 years overdue
My parents denying my wants at every turn throughout my life. Once I got a job and started making money I started enjoying hobbies I never had a chance to try like Karate, Boxing, Wrestling, Tennis, Archery, Camping, Cycling, Woodworking, etc. I started spending a lot of time at my hobbies which left my parents feeling ignored. My mother calls me about this, I told her I was busy, she was angry I was prioritizing my hobbies, I told her I never had the chance to do these things, at one point she said “We gave you everything you needed, every opportunity to try new things. We didn’t raise you to be this selfish.” Utter nonsense, I told them that they denied my wants for years, they claim to have never heard them. Literally 4 years of asking to join the boy scouts only to be told “Stop asking it’s annoying me.” Then to be later told that I never spoke up about the things I wanted. If it weren’t for my siblings backing me up I doubt my parents would’ve thought twice about it. I can’t tell if they were actually shocked or pretending to be. Then they later told me that even if I did say something I should’ve fought for it. As if I didn’t go to my uncle and started a whole argument about this before. As if I wasn’t shoveling snow and mowing lawns for money. That I wasn’t getting my school coaches to call my parents multiple times. Look my parents gave me what I needed to be alive, food, shelter, and clothing; but nothing else, maybe a game during Christmas. They are penny pinchers. I also blame them for my being fat as a kid. The moment I moved out and started my own diet, within a year I was 70-80 pounds lighter.
It's sad because at the end of the day we become the adults that we needed for ourselves at a young age. Good job on atleast enjoying and living life as you wanted as an adult and even standing up for yourself. Hope everything gents better and better for you going forward
Well look on the bright side. Now that you've moved out, you don't ever have to talk to them again. Ghost em. Live your life and be happy.
The next time they deny it, just tell them "You know I'm right. You know what really happened and all of this is on you. You can pretend all you want, it doesn't change the truth."
It's sad because they'll never admit they're wrong, they'll always be the victim.
Just because you think your parents didn’t give you opportunities, doesn’t mean they didn’t. Memories are funny that way.
My parents were not as bad as yours... actually they are kinda amazing... but I think my dad may have some type of autism... he's very quiet and rarely talks (no ptsd or anything). So even tho my dad did let me play all the sports I wanted to, and do boy scouts... he was always just kinda there and not telling me about life or teaching me.
He told me recently that he "led by example" which is totally true... but I think I may be autistic too so I could never see or read any of that.
So with my kids I never stop talking, asking about their interests, making eye contact why they tell me about things that I don't 'actually' find fascinating. I teach them about everything I've learned and really try to explain how they will need to see these things as they grow.
I also hug them and tell them I love them loudly and constantly! Not something my dad ever did once..
I agree with the one guy, we keep the good things from our parents, and work on the less than good things... and we get a little better every generation.
My stepdad said i would never be his kid. To my face. Multiple times. Now hes mad when i call him my step father and introduce him to others as mark. Screw you mark. You cost me my childhood and my life. This is on you.
I wouldn't even call him stepfather to be honest. A stepfather is still some kind of parental figure but since you're not his kid whatsoever then he's just "mom's husband" till the end of his days I were in your shoes.
My stepfather said, word for word, "no, because I am not your dad" when I was about 7 when I asked him why we couldn't have a father daughter relationship. My relationship with my own dad was strained so it hurt. Needless to say, stepfather and I did not get along as long as he was married to my mom.
Years later he got all pissy and upset because he said something and I replied, in typical teen fashion, "no, because you're not my dad." He seemed to forget telling me the same shit 10 years ealrier. He ended up saying some edgy shit like "you remember what you just said." Like bro, I never fucking forgot what you said. 🤷🏻♀️
He doesn't get to have it both ways. The way you talk about him, as someone who is not your biological parent, is entirely contingent on the choices and decisions he's made. And he screwed up.
Your mom is a clown for staying with him
@@chorizoramen93 ironically he's not the worst choice she's made
She always chose men over her kids. Her last marriage lasted 10 years, despite him abusing her kids in EVERY way. Even then, the only reason she left is because I finally came forward about the abuse and she wanted to save face. She played the victim to my trauma that she did nothing to prevent.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, there’s a special place in hell for women who choose a man over their children.
I hope you're free from her and with people who actually care about you.
A few years ago, a situation came about that led to multiple people (including my mom) finding out about my older brother SAing me when we were kids.
I’ll never forgive her for her only reaction being to look at me and say “I won’t let this ruin his life.”
I found out later that she called him and asked if he really did it. His only response was that he “didn’t remember”.
I knew, in that moment that, no matter what he did, her “only son” could do no wrong. (At that point, they hadn’t spoken in months. And they haven’t spoken again in about 4 years… she still defends him to me.)
My mom abandoned me with my grandparents and wonders why i have no idea who she is everytime im forced to see her at family functions
My parents and family have always done this to my daughter and I. She is now an adult and my mother cannot figure out why she doesn't have a relationship with her and doesn't get to see the great grand kids. I visit my mother occasionally and call her occasionally out of obligation. Once she is gone I will never have any contact with the rest of the family again. And I have a huge family. My daughter and her family and I are our own family.
My mother screamed at me when i was 13 saying she didnt care about me anymore, and i didnt deserve her love because i was failing history. Its been 5 years since then and she has made it crystal clear that she still doesnt care
Did you ever just stop?? Or something like just leave and never care back no matter what😃
(Me not really feeling anything but confusion (?) but will say my OWN opinion🔝🆙)
I hope for the day you move out, you thank her for being your temporary guardian since your mom passed away [x] years ago. And you address her by her first name and say something along the lines of "May our path never cross from now on." Bonus if you drive by and flip her off. 😂
Was she the history teacher? 😅
So sorry....
@demonwolf1668 I had cared, and tried to get her to care about me until I turned 18. I had done all the sports she had done, I passed everything with flying colors. But when I graduated she didn't come. That's when I gave up
I have experienced something similar. During my year of medical internship, my family hide all the family reunions and special moments from me. They would chose the days I had shift (you work 32 hrs non-stop) so I wouldn't notice. I missed my niece baptism, my nephew baby shower, "cancelled" birthday parties, and so much more. It hurst so much cause I knew my extended family didn't care one bit about me, but my nuclear family? After all I have sacrificed to keep them happy and out of each other's throats? This has happened a few times before, they "forgetting" my graduation's date, or refusing to go the ceremonies when I was awarded best student cause "they had more important things to do". On top of that they forced me to help raise my nephews, so to this bloody day I have to be at my sister's house between my work shifts to help her, a stay at home wife, to take care of her own children. I love my nephews with all my heart, they are the reason I'm willing to keep helping, plus now I'm actually invited to all family events as a babysitter for my nephews.
But I have decided that my family won't be invited to any of my events in the future. It's not like they would bother to show up anyway.
I'd go NC for a while tbh. If my family was treating me like a damn servant. Let's see if they'd start to appreciate you for all the things you do. When they have to do all those things themselves.
Respect yourself and leave
The nephews are not your children and when they get older may end up with the same attitude, then you would be thinking about that, make the choice and choose who wants to be with you, maybe difficult but take care of you first, family is who cares about you, just as much as you care about them.
Personally, I would say just don’t talk to them for a few months, maybe just two. If they ask you for something, just say no, even if you love your nephews, you need to respect yourself, since they’re just using you as a servant, you can’t keep letting them do this, or they’ll expect you to always do it.
Show yourself some respect, and just say no to them for like a month or two, and they’ll either realise they don’t need you, in which they’ll stop talking to to you, and you’ll know they were just using you, or they’ll realise they need you, and will actually treat you with some respect. Either way it’s a better outcome then now
Yo stop. What the hell are you doing? You're not gonna die if you ghost them for a few months. Even your nephews. She's gonna take care of her own kids. Go somewhere else
That's no family. Make your best family yourself away from these losers.
That's an insult to the word losers
My mom broke her arm in minor accident after a fight with me (14 at the time)...she blamed it on me and said that i broke her arm and told everyone including her friends and family.....years later my manager who went to the hospital after my constant begging (cuz of a swollen hand) came back with a cast (her finger was fractured) she jokingly said its because of me shes in a cast ...it triggered me and i had such a bad panic attack
thanks mom
When i had recently moved out of state with my abusive parents, i was at the lowest of my depression. Didn't eat, didn't get out, barely sleep, didn't talk to anyone...
And my grandmother that was 600 km away from me had an heart attack, gladly she survived. We didn't know until a week after everything, when she had already started recovery.
Then, my grandparents called me, after ignoring me when i desperately needed then and didn't want to go with my parents and asked to stay with them even swearing i would work and give them my pay (i was only 17 when it happened).
So they called months later, when i was wasting away just to tell us that my grandmother had a heart attack and it was my fault.
They pushed me so deep in my depression that, if it wasn't for my best friend sixth sense, i'd not be able to be here and tell this story.
It's not your fault.... your evil parents are guilting you so that they can abuse & use your money if you start job
i broke down one night trying to explain my mental state when i was 15. i realized that my father didnt actually believe that i had attempted to end my life at that time. that every time its been mentioned since it came out when i was 17 he has thought i was lying. so i sat there across the table from him and begged him to believe me. and he just stared at me.
Did you cut contact with him?
Sorry sked why you want your family to know.
I attempted take my life over 30 years ago and that goes to my grave .my mum no need to know.
@@beneditamclorn2843because as a minor that’s the only way you can get psychological help. you cannot get it on your own and if you attempted then clearly there is something wrong and you should talk to someone about it.
I've been trying to end my life been too much of a coward to follow through I actually like living and have a few things to look forward too. Sadly none of these things include a bright future for my self I can't honestly see what my life would look like 3 years from now.
The bare minimum is asking "hey do want to go on a trip with us" but no they didn't. Or even not posting any pictures online.
We dont know if she was okey with them so maybe its not bare minimum but finally having good vacation? We dont know
Sounds like OP wanted her daddy to pay for her and her daughter dinseyland trip. As an adult you pay for yourself. The dad literally said when she and her daughter go on a trip with them it cost them a lot of money. Meaning daddy/granddaddy pays all the time.
Plus it's no fun going on vacation with people who obviously don't like you. AKA step mom.
If OP and her daughter always wanted to go to dinseyland just save up and go. It's less stressful with less people involved. Unless you expect someone else to pay.
My mom didn’t talk to me for the majority of my pregnancy because I wouldn’t celebrate both Thanksgiving and Christmas with her. My parents are divorced so I always have to split the holidays. She chose Thanksgiving. As we got closer to Christmas, I mentioned that I would celebrate Christmas with dad and see her the next day. She was furious and stopped talking to me. After many attempts to contact her, she blocked me. Towards the end of my pregnancy, she randomly showed up to my house and we got into a huge argument. She acted like she never did anything and it was all my fault. She started laughing at me and said I was crazy. I haven’t spoken to her since and not planning to. This is just one of the few things she’s done to me and IM DONE!!!!
Just so y’all know, she’s previously accused me of flirting with her bf. Stopped talking to me for a year for not celebrating father’s day with her bf when I have my own father. She’s only dated him for a few months then. She expected my father to kick me out of the house when she found out I was pregnant. I was 33 and was living with dad at the time to help pay rent and bills. I only lived with him for 3 months before I moved out. I wasn’t a kid!!! 🙄
I'd be gathering evidence and getting a restraining order on her if possible. Save yourself so much stress, you probably make a case that if she treated you that bad you don't want to find out how she'll treat your kid.
My father when i was 6 to 12 years old would tell me that he was the reason my mom was still alive and say hes the reason she didnt get a bullet to the head (he was the reason she tried to do it) and said she was ungrateful for getting a divorce because she didnt want to put up with him anymore. He did many things but that stuck with me the most.
Just leave him U deserve good life
That's not a family. And I bet they'd be the first ones to go crying to OP once they're in a tough spot.
I have always been short (4'10" as an adult) when kids my mom and aunt always took cousins to amusement parks, zoos, ect. I was forced to go even though I wasn't tall enough to ride anything so I had to stand around and hold everyone's stuff while they rode rides and stuff. They got mad when I got a summer job at 13 and couldn't go anymore, but they all still went.😂 😂😂 15 yrs later and they still won't talk to me for ruining their trips. 😂😂😂 They never talked to me before so how was i supposed to know they quit? 😂😂😂
I, for one, still can't forgive my parents for a fucked up school life. You know... Sometimes it's hard to be good at everything, but to give me punishments and scream that I'm an idiot because of one single thing is overkill. Of course, I was still compared to others. Until now I am angry, and I am 28 years old.
Saaame. I was the only kid in class, dreading anything but straight A's in school. But how would I not, if my mom's first reaction at an A- was either "What did you fuck up this time?" or "Who got a better score?"
My mother knew for a fact that I due to my autism and anxiety can't stand kids and the idea of pregnancy disgusts me (Ignoring that I'm a lesbian and she was aware of that) yet she told our mutual friend (whos more like a mom to me that she ever was) that I should "just get pregnant" and that "She (my mother) would take care of the baby" despite living with her (my aunt also lived with us at the time and now that my mom's dead she's my caretaker) and that I would be in a constant state of sensory overload. I have a violent and angry reaction to the sound of babies crying, and I don't trust myself to be around them for long periods of time.
Context: my parents are divorced and my siblings are all considerably older then me and have all children. My sister invited me to my nieces birthday and I told her I'd love to come but sadly I was going on vacation with my dad, so I couldn't. A few weeks later my mother and I had planned to hang out.
When I arrived she didn't open the door, so I called her and got very worried when she didn't pick up, I descided to text her and wait in front of the door. 30 minutes later she texted me back, saying she forgot and that she was on her way to my nieces birthday. Not only did noone bother to tell me it was postponed knowing I would have liked to come but my mother simply forgot about our meeting, which is jn and on itself practically impossible since she writes literally everything in her calender.
Go full no contact with all of them
My mom took me away from my dad because he wouldn't pay her money. She said she was asking a reasonable amount but she was asking for about 3\4 my dad's paycheck and that he take her out on expenses dates every week. It got old fast and when I moved out she kept begging me to give her money. She's not broke she just doesn't want to spend her money
She is selfish...so don't help her...she doesn't love you
I will never be able to forgive my mother for rudely waking me up after I attempted to 💀 myself twice in one night, having her scream at me that i was a "disrespectful, entitled, dramatic b¡tch" and her waiting two full days to take me to the ER (it wasnt even her, it was my maternal grandma) and her waiting until my forced hospitalization was almost done to even talk about visiting me at the psych ward, and I will never forgive my "father" for only ever using me to look good to his girlfriends (my parents are not together) and never any other time, he would ignore my existence for years on end, and he left in me in a physically, emotionall and s3×ually abusive situation for years.
One time my aunt cropped me out of family photos when i was litterally flown in just to babysit my cousins
something i cant ever forgive my mother for is something that happened a few years ago
i already had a huge grudge against her because she had been an emotionally abusive narc my entire childhood but this was the icing on the cake, and even though she's gotten a little better in the past year or so i just will never be able to forgive her or look past it
So for background, when i was 11 (im 17 now) my family took in an 18 year old guy into the family, he had been a family friend with abusive parents so the second he was 18 he ran away and we unofficially "adopted" him. And since i had desperately wanted an older brother at that time i, i jumped on that opportunity.
long story short, he ended up m0lesting me and grooming me and recording me showering until i was like 14 and a half and finally spoke out about it.
He got kicked out, but not long after my mother told me she still loved him, and he was still apart of the family, even if all contact is cut.
She later told me, maybe 6-10 months later, that she doesnt mean it anymore and she regrets saying it, but just the fact that she SAID IT in the first place to ME of ALL people, I'll never be able to forgive her for it, and if it makes me the asshole or overly petty then i'll be petty to the damn grave
You were abused by this woman and then (once someone else took advantage of you) she said that your abuser was "still family" and "she still loves him." Of course you'd be upset! Even if she takes it all back, that hurt is still there and you have every right to feel it. Especially since she was so tactless as to say it to your face! Like it's one thing if she's having a hard time letting go of this person but kept it to herself but to express it to the victim and take the better part of a year to take it back is a whole other thing.
@@jordantoatley1086 no exactlyyy
My mother called me the f slur because I was dating a guy at the time 🤣 I tore into her about how she never got me help for my childhood SA nor asked me how I felt about anything that happened to me FOR YEARS, and told her how I found it laughable that she thought she could have an opinion now that I've had more successful relationships with men than she ever did. Got real quiet after that 🥴
My mom has a few different health problems (mostly because of all the drugs she did as a teenager, but shes been completely clean since before I was even conceived), and I remember one particular time when mom had to get teeth pulled because she has a calcium deficiency. My dad would use that as a way to guilt trip my brother and I for being "bad kids" by telling us "you're stressing your mom out so bad youre making her teeth fall out!".
One conversation with my mom later and telling her what he said, and her response was to laugh and say "stress doesn't make your teeth fall out. You guys didnt do this, it was probably all the drugs." So, yeah 💀
(Edit: grammar)
This happened to my mum and I. Not a trip to Disney land. But we was left out a family photo. My mum didn't work Inwas only 2/3 yrs at the time so we could of gone to my Grandparents house to see the family that was visiting as their came over for a few months from Australia. The whole family was in the picture even my uncles girlfriend (now my aunt, but their weren't together more than a year) my mum was heartbroken when she found out. We found the photo again when clearering out my Grandparents house. I looked into my Grandads diary as no-one every said why we weren't apart of that family photo. Too this day my mum doesn't believe where blood related to the family as mum says she doesn't look like either of her parents so that's why we was left out. But my Grandparents adored me, loved my mum but she is very much the black sheep of the family even to this day. We hardly see any of the family. None of them have asked to see my daughter much as she was a premature during lockdown it's heart breaking.
That first cake is literally my two personalities coexisting.
My mother left when I was 5. She called 3 times drunk and in the middle of the night. At 18 she calls me, she was divorcing and wanted custody of her 2 girls. She wanted me to testify what a great mother she was and help her get custody. I said I would, but she had to send my brothers a Christmas card and birthday cards. She never sent anything! I think she realized I wound never help her cause she is the worst mother in the world!!
Dude, that looks like a Wednesday Addams cake that is awesome. I freaking love your style you keep continuing and continue with the storys
Not theirs but i like it too 👍
Is cool but they stole it
@@style7592 oh really from who
Praying for your healing ❤
We was at a family gathering I was in the bathroom when I overheard my dad cousin asking my dad why was he so mean towards your daughter he said I don’t like her never have never will. He’d ground me for 6 weeks for having straight A and not A+ we lived in another state so he’d tell his family that I was ground for bad grades. Years later his family brought that up and I had my grad cards to show he was wrong. They gave him ruckus about it. My dad served our country from 1958-1982. Back then if the wife wanted out of the marriage they lost everything including children. Yes my dad hated me but he hated my mom for say yes to marriage. I asked later why if he didn’t like my mom he told me it’s because his mom told him he was not to ask her. He did it for spite he was filled with hate to his final day. His whole family hated us. And all o can say is I feel sorry for them because instead of hating us they all could have took the time to get to know us as a person. But I forgive and life goes on.
My parents demanded I pay them 5k for the family car when I was in college. I had the money, ponied up and said fine. BUT when my brother went off to college he gets the other family car for free. I went to a service academy so my school was completely paid for and I’m now serving in the armed forces. He was running up a crap ton of student loans that they co-signed for at a liberal arts school out of state. The favoritism knows no bounds and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.
This is my family with everything. Going to the pumpkin patch, going to amusement parks, etc. Never invited. I dont even bother with them anymore. It isnt worth it. It hurt at first though.
Looks like they will never get to see their grand babies again
My parents killed my dog and told me she was a problem. I have now moved to another country and got TWO dogs.
I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I hope you were able to move past that. Your parents absolutely do not deserve a child
Sometimes it’s necessary to divorce one’s parents.
I get forgotten from family plans kinda frequently, I can empathize with the feelings...
Never invited to any family gatherings, I'll only see them when they post photos on social media. They will only invite me if they are doing potluck and wants me to bake for them because I am the best baker in our family.
One time, got invited for my aunt's bday because they want me to surprise her with a cake. When I was asking for their share of the expenses, they want a two tier cake, suddenly the party wasn't gonna happen. They thought I wouldn't know it, because I rarely use the social media platform they are using, but I still saw photos of them with store brought cake at a party.
So my petty revenge was to bake my own two tier cake complete with icing flowers and posted it on my profile. My mom wasn't happy but I told her I am not their free use baker 😂
The Wednesday cake looks amazing
I know exactly how op feels. It's been like that my whole life. Now they're doing the same thing to my kids. Forgiveness isn't even in my vocabulary anymore.
Just go low contact on them, go on trips with your daughter, just you and her, as far as i know Disneyland is already expensive, go on road trips out of town, like beaches, resorts, waterparks, even universal studios, pretty sure there are more places to explore for you and your daughter and post it on your social media, if they asked why they were not invited, just throw back what rick said "you'd make it difficult and more expensive if you came 🤷🏻♀️"...they had their fun, make your own and make it special
I don’t even know what words I can say to express how disappointed I am in parents and grandparents like these.
My mom broke my nose along with my half-sisters. It grew crooked, because of it. It still affects me. I tried to get them to pay, because I don't think I'll be able to. Its a heavy weight to carry; anxiety kills me because of it.
Serious trigger warning ⚠️
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My parents brushed me off and didn't act either of the times I told them about my brother SA me growing up. By the time I turned 18 it had gone on for a decade and when I finally put my foot down and stood up for myself it tore my family apart. If they had done something when we were kids, it wouldn't have had to be this way...my dad died last year still making excuses and acting like I should just "get over it" and forgive my brother for a decade plus of abuse.
I kinda blame my dad for him dying. The doctors told him to lose weight, eat healthier, and stay active,like maybe walk the block once a day. They told him if he didn't, he was shortening his lifespan. Well, he didn't do any of those things, and now, like his doctors told him would happen, he's gone forever. Sometimes I blame myself for it as well.
I was very sad But when i saw ur video i became happy ur a miracle😊
My mom wanted a boy for her second child and and I was born female (but i'm trans now so I guess she got what she wanted😂) So she would consistently tell me She never wanted me and she wished I was never born that's she regrets having me and they should have just gotten my little brother the first time But of course she never said those things According to her
“We’re so honored that the first ever TH-cam video was filmed here!”
My dad di3d of cancer and my whole family acuse me of his d3ath cuz "u was a spin in his rib"
He had heart disease for over 20yrs and more complicated illnesses but me out of all? It hurts to know they simply hate me...
I’d die too if my kid couldn’t type like you.
Brooo thats too much@@UwUlilbby666
People who act like this are the guilty ones. They gas light you because they know they're wrong. Have a wonderful life on your own. Make sure your daughter knows that she grows up that they chose their life that for some reason through no fault of her own or yours that the step grandmother has decided to be this way and the grandfather chose. Make her realize she is not going to inherit anything no knick knacks no pieces of anything Believe me I know I've been there but everything she does in life she can do on her own and guess what The greatest thing that happens is my dad were married again and my step sister from that other woman treats me golden because I treated her with respect and though she got all my dad's money I knew I was never getting anything I treated them pleasantly and she's giving me some of my dad's things things I grew up with as a kid that I never thought I would see because the rest of the family treated me like s*** I didn't do anything wrong I was just adopted My parents thought they couldn't have kids at first and then oh they did.
Exciting, looking forward to future developments
Trust me. Ik how it feels no joke
When I was born my bio father said I wasn't his and he didn't show up to the delivery room only people who showed up was my moms side of the family also my dad would go six months without seeing me and then would see me for six months on and off for about a year and he was also abusive in the past
My parents said it was my fault my sister died because it meant I didn’t love her enough. She got Covid and they ignored her.
Now they’re mad I’m moving out of state with my husband into base housing and they won’t be able to just show up at my door.
You already know he missed up when you can't call him dad anymore 😬😬😬
Pat and Rick, I know I'm not focusing on the point of the story
Contact everyone else who went and just casually tell them you wish you and your daughter could have gone as well and you are disappointed they didnt even extend an invitation to join.
The way I look at it, if someone doesn't want to be in your life, then so be it.
Wow my blood is boiling
Just go no contact and call it a day. No need to tell them.
They don’t consider you family if they are deliberately excluding you and are hostile with you. Don’t bother with them anymore.
Not that I will or won’t forgive my mother for this, but it definitely helped me understand where I stand with her and how I will move forward towards her. I was sat next to her, someone calls. They must’ve asked who she was with and my mother says: I’m with my kids (referring to my half siblings) and Dani. She was with her kids and me. She doesn’t consider me her child anymore? I could tell that this sort of thing was something she was used to saying. I didn’t feel angry, I didn’t even mention it. It just made a lot make sense after that. My mother remarried and had more children when I was in my late teens. I’ve always been there for my younger siblings, never referring to them as my half siblings. Even formed a closer bond with them since I’m so much older and got to see them grow up from birth. My siblings are now entering their teen years, and despite how involved and close I’ve been in their lives, they very apparently act as though they are one family, and my mothers other children are just distant relatives. It’s disappointing and I never saw it coming… but at least I know now.
My parents treated my older sister as the golden child who was perfect and would never do anything wrong. I was treated as as the "obligatory" 2nd child and got blamed for anything and everything (example: 5 years ago my father blamed me for a car accident my mother was in, I wasn't driving, I wasn't even in the vehicle, she was just driving to my house from hers, so it was all my fault and I should pay). My parents still act this way to this day and refuse to acknowledge it.
So it's time you take your daughter to Disney World in Orlando Florida or maybe to Disney Japan or Disney Paris or someplace else I realize it's a lot more expensive those places are but she'll have one hell of a place thing to say to her nephews and nieces and cousins and uncles and aunts and even Grandma and Grandpa if they ever get together with her again this is where we went
The fact OP calls their father Rick indstead if dad speaks volumes about their relationship.😢
How would the expenses be and issue for them other than maybe paying for the tickets or hotels but that usually split between all the adults, it’s crazy they left out a 9yo who would have been the perfect age to actually remember the trip and enjoys her time there.
Let them continue to ignore you. They want nothing to do with you or your family. Kiss them goodbye and move on. Take your daughter later on.
My mom treated my brothers and sisters better than me I was pushed away
My grandmother got rest her soul, accused me of giving my son diabetes and then she wished I just stopped breathing
When I was about 8-10 years old, and my mom was in an active drug addiction to meth and a few other things, there was one night I could recall that I could never forgive her for. I was out in the living room watching TV, and both of my brothers were in their room, so I just happened to be alone when she decided that she didn't trust me. She ransacked my room and threw all my clothes on the ground, my personal belongings, etc. Not finding anything, she goes into a fit of rage and storms out into the living room, grabbing a good chunk of my hair and dragging me across the floor. Throwing me into the corner of the hallway, she yells to me and says, "You f**king ruined my life, you ruined my marriage. I wish I had that abortion and wish you were never born." Then procedures to tell me that I need to clean my room up after she destroyed pretty much everything in there.
It really hurt tbh. I just felt my whole world shatter and fell into a deeper depression. It's probably the worst thing she said to me, and she never even apologized for it even after the fact that I'm almost 20 years old now. She says, "i don't remember that happening." I still struggle with depression room this day cause of all the shit she did to me as a kid.
((She is also schizoaffective which didn't help the fact. If you don't know Schizoaffective disorder is just you having Schizophrenia/symptoms like Schizophrenia and a mood disorder like bipolar.))
A good thing that everyone should keep in mind is the water of the womb is not thicker than the blood of the covenant
This has become my favorite quote
Or the the seed of the man is not thicker than the blood of the covenant
I decided to make a variation on this
Not Pat & Rick💀
I'd have to be mad at my siblings too.
My dad walked out on us on my 11th birthday (i’m the youngest of 3) and my dad and step mom got me into medical debt by denying my insurance coverage without telling me.
You are well rid of them. You know that, but it still hurts. ❤️
My mom is a narcissist, so basically everything she has ever done from the day I was born.
First cake is dope
the police over a late text reponse is actually crazy bro
when i was young i ripped my earlobes because i couldn't get my earrings out recently i was thinking about getting plastic surgery to fix them and thats when i realized that my mom could have immediately taken me to the hospital to get stitches. But she didn't and that has been really bothering me ever since.
It would’ve been funny if pat actually called the police tho-
I bet she wouldn’t tho
This is very one sided, the kid didn’t know and also they aren’t obligated to invite her
My parents always treated me like the least favourite child and because of their actions I can't enjoy any Holliday except halloween cause every other one even my birthday are linked to their own traumatic memory
It was mostly my mother and stepmother's fault though and my dad has made a great effort to mend our relationship and I do forgive him for not being the best father to me as a child but even though I love him and I do want him to be part of my life still I don't think I can fully forgive him until he admits that my stepmother is a horrible, vindictive and abusive person and leaves her
It's not his fault that he fell in love with her but he's choosing to stay with her despite knowing how she treats his kids and him as well, I live full time with my abusive mother cause that's better than living with my stepmother cause at least my mother mostly ignores and neglects me instead of yelling and belittling 24/7
I'm finally an adult and I'm planning on moving out with my boyfriend soon he just needs a job and I need to get a better paying job so we can afford it
That's so messed up
I think we are missing something here...
I agree. How did the siblings not reach out to her before the trip? I talk to my sister weekly.
I know I’m assuming but what if the parents planned it out and probably lied to her siblings and told them that everybody would come?
Full story:
AITAH For Telling My Family to F Off After They Planned a Trip to Disney Without Me?
So context - my siblings and I are all over the age of 30, with most of us having children. I have 3 siblings, 2 of which are biological. I found out through an Instagram post that they all planned an entire trip to Disneyland without even telling me, despite the fact that I have a 9-year-old daughter that my parents pretend to care about, who would have loved to go. I have reached out and texted every single one of my family members, including my sister-in-law and brother-in-law, within the last month, and none of them told me about this big ‘family’ trip they intended to take.
Another relevant note - my biological mother died when I was young and my father married a woman, my step mom - we’ll call her Pat. Pat has treated me terribly since she met me, presumably because I was the oldest of my siblings and therefore I actually remember my real mom, while my younger siblings don’t. My step mother also has an adopted child that she treats far better than me and my full siblings. It’s blatantly obvious and they don’t even try to hide it anymore.
In response, I originally wrote to both of them telling them I was bummed because their granddaughter would have loved to spend time with them, and that I didn’t even have to go. I also mentioned the fact that this wasn’t the first trip they had hidden from me - they also took everyone on a vacation to Hawaii last summer without even mentioning it to me.
My father, we’ll call him Rick, wrote back almost immediately, saying that I’ve made things ‘difficult and expensive’ and telling me to ‘save the guilt trip’ because we moved out of state last year. I understand that, but the issue is that we had plans to visit them at the end of March anyway, and happily would have moved our plans around so our 9-year-old could go to Disney with her cousins, aunts & uncles, and grandparents. We didn’t even get that chance, however, because they all decided to go to Disney without even telling me.
After Rick’s reply, Pat decided to reply too, saying that I clearly didn’t want to actually talk and that she was only willing to have the conversation on a phone call. I told her to call me anytime because my child has done nothing to deserve to be excluded, especially when her entire family is there, and that if they had mentioned it to us we would have changed our trip so our daughter could go.
Pat, of course, never called, so I finally texted Rick and told him not to contact me. I told him he was a terrible person for excluding a 9 year old girl who loves them to death, and that I had no interest in speaking to them ever again. Pat literally threatened to call the police on me two weeks ago because I didn’t reply to her text within 6 hours. She somehow still made me out to be the bad guy in that situation. That’s nothing new - she’s been feeding Rick her bullshit since I was 13 years old, blaming me for things she did or didn’t do.
So, AITAH for telling Rick to ‘have the life you deserve with the other children and grandchildren you actually care about’? I don’t feel like this is how a family should operate. Seeing the picture of everyone I love, including my niece and nephew, on a family trip I wasn’t even told about, was devastating and so hurtful. I don’t think I’ve ever felt as rejected as I did in that moment. Anyways, thank you if you’ve read this far, and I appreciate you.
**ETA: I’m having trouble keeping up with the comments, but I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who comments. I’m grateful for all of you!
Also wanted to add: I recently reconnected with the nanny who raised me. She was there before and after my mom’s death, and she knew her and loved her. She found out what happened and decided that she and I should take my daughter to Disney in May. So although I’ve had to go NC with my ‘family’ over this, I’m also lucky to have caring people that want to include my daughter in their lives. I call her ‘mom’ and my kids call her ‘Gigi’, and we appreciate her so much.
Thank you again for the support. It’s comforting to know I’m not crazy or alone in this.
Just make your own family. They don't have to be by blood but people who care for you and your daughter.
My cousins lost their dad when they were young. Since then, they both developed anxiety, especially the girl. They moved across the street from my family and moved in with my grandparents. I had been going through some very hard times for me and one day, I just couldn't talk to anybody else. I told them all I had an headache and left to head to my room. I watched some TV and my female cousin came in. She asked how I was and asked if I wanted to hang out. I politely told her I didn't want to hang out and thanked her for checking on me. She left and apparently, she told everyone that she thought the tv was more important to me than her. This had happened a lot but I had gotten so tired of it, I ignored her for a while. Word got out to my friends and they got angry at me. My friends and I are friends once more, but now it's hard to say anything around my cousin without hurting her feelings and having it hurt me. AITA?
I can't imagine choosing someone over my own children, how entitled and self-centered do you have to be to be that idiotic?
They made their choice.
My mom decided to disown me on my 15th birthday. She didnt do it but still ruined my birthday.
They are toxic, keep away, threatening to call the police on you for a late text, it better that you did not go, something bad could have occurred.
Its strange say 20 people dont mention it to specifically OP.. we assume she's nice we only get her side. She might be dramatic, spraff ect would ruin it.
I just realized she didn't even call them parental-names anymore, she just mentions them by their name..
Look lady you are not missing anything anyone that takes their children there seriously should be arrested for child neglect. I had a bad experience the first day of the opening ceremony of the one in Florida the crowd shoved me away and I was lost all day I didn’t have any fun I was 5 at the time yes my parents were looking for me but there’s a lot of people that day.
Im just wondering why the siblings didn't say anything. I have 5 siblings, if my father told me to keep it a secret from one of them i would've told them and i wouldnt have gone myself.
I know I'm getting better, bit by bit, but I still blame my parents (especially my mom) for my hoarding problem. for 11 years, while living with my grandmother, I never had a door, just a bed sheet... it was a total nightmare as my cousins would just walk in while I'm not there and just take whatever they want and when I say something, they told me to drop it or they'll buy me another one, which ended up in a quite fight a the store because they blame me for not hiding it well... but yet, they also told me that hiding is also sinful... oh! and they also forgotten that I never had a door in the first place!!!
Who calls the cops over a late text reply?!