If you find yourself pointing out everything that the hero in an action movie is wrong, yet you still watch the movie. You're a man and possibly a veteran.
Dude,! he is missing at a guy who is 25 METERS away with a rifle!!!! or Dude! He just shot the pistol out of a guys hands at 25 METERS! or DUDE! you just used METERS and you are probably a VET!
I wonder if that justice's parents would be proud. All that money spent on "higher education" and she still can't define a man. What a satanic moron! Maybe she should become a doctor like Jill Biden?
If you can open the fridge 20 times in one hour complaining there is nothing to eat, but expected the situation to change each time, before then taking random items with random sauces/ketchup and eating some horrific disaster scene...then you are a man
I'm from Ethiopia and the fact that this nonsense is happening in the real world (the West) enough to be a source for satire is sad. But you guys never fell to make the most out of it. I'm a big fan. Much love all the way from Ethiopia. ❤
@@TMac0925 It's sad and embarrassing at the same time. If a guy walks up to people here in Ethiopia and says he's a woman and tries to act like one, he'll get punched. Such things are seen to be demonic here, and rightly so.
@@samuelasnake3234 It's moreso that people in the west are enjoying so much safety and luxury, to the point where we have almost no problems at all, and certain people need problems to live, so they create more problems. It's sad
@@Flamehazard Yes, you're spot on. I've heard once Jordan Peterson quote Dostoevsky saying that if people live in a system where they eat cake and busy themselves with the continuation of the species; They'd break the system just to have something new.
I really began doubting myself when she talked about house work. I can do all those things. But then i looked closely at my chromosomes and was relieved to find that i am a guy. What a emotional rollercoaster. Phew, thanks for the clearup BB
Yeah, I have known many men who can do their own laundry and cook. I feel like this video was not really fair to men. Society wants to make men look like they are useless and stupid and we need to stop this. I'm a woman and I approve this message.
I do most of the housework because my wife is physically disabled, but the county has a program where they pay me to do it, so doing housework is literally my side hustle.
If you skipped ahead to about the 2 minute mark, because no woman has ever gotten to the point in the first two minutes of telling you anything. . . . .You might be a man.
Married 45 years and SCREWED UP the first laundry load SO BAD, the wife NEVER LET me touch the laundry again. Thanks forever to my Dad for the solid advice as I sit on my ass watching the game while the little woman is in the laundry room.
As a cigar smoking, whiskey drinking, motorcycle riding mechanic, father and husband, I regret to inform you that I must turn in my Man Card due to the fact that I frequently do laundry, dishes and repair my clothes as well as stuffed animals via needle and thread. It was nice while it lasted.
My Dad learned how to sew, yet he still works on projects around the house religiously! So don't worry. You haven't lost your Man Qualifications just yet. Just think of it as being the Super Hero, Home Fixer-upper Man! 😉👍 - From Caring Young Adult Woman.
It is so hilarious that you used a girl to describe men and a dude to describe women. That's why you guys are so great! You pay attention to the details.
My goodness! I can relate to everything she said! I'm a man, hurraaayy!! Day 5 without my spouse: I'm running out of clothes and I can't seem to find the milk...
If dirt, crumbs, or cat yak is entirely invisible to you (yet you magically step OVER it until someone else cleans it up), you're not just a man, you're a husband.
There’s literally two. And you only need to remember one. Y=man, anything else is either a women or a genetic failure (in that, the genes failed, not the person).
Don’t feel bad. I’m “so much of a man” that I kept it straight by thinking about XX being 2 boobies when I was younger. True story. I’m glad I finally got that off my chest.
I honestly have been thinking I’m showing early signs of dementia because I constantly have to ask my wife where my things are. I’m glad it’s just my rugged manliness.
Lol my husband can't find anything. He'll be looking for like 5 minutes and then I'll look and find it in like 3 seconds and I'm like how did you not see it, it's literally in front of your face. or I'll ask for something and he brings something else that looks very similar, like instead of bringing out interior car cleaning wipes, he brought stainless steel cleaning wipes and was so confused when I told him those aren't the same thing just because they're both in a tube. It's endlessly entertaining 😂
This is partially incorrect. It's NOT that you can't find the blue sweater, IT'S not there! When the woman arrives she unlocks the ultraverse and the sweater appears. Also, socks don't grew in drawers. After 64 years on Earth I discovered that there are women behind this phenomenon (at first mothers, later wife/gf) . Underwear too. It is a mistery how it works in gay couples ... 🤔
I was a bit worried over the part about house cleaning because I think I do that pretty well. But a friend, most likely female, informed that I had nothing to worry about and just because I think its clean doesn't mean that it is.
problem is i own most of the thing i don,t want to do if i don,t fix them i have to pay some one to man up and fix the dam thing save time and money fix it right and
@@earnestbrown6524 um, EXCUSE ME? The Hobbit movies were an abomination, wrapped up in a desecration, and ought to be obliterated from the face of the earth. The Lord of the Rings movies were good AS MOVIES, but they couldn't match up to the book, not by a long shot. I've been reading Tolkien for about 19 years, so don't even get me started! 🤣
Thing is, men CAN and DO cook. Many are cooks at a restaurant. Be it a sitdown or fast food. My man is one. He took up cooking to be able to avoid military food. He cooks better than me.
if you tell your friends - "Hey hold my beer" and then end up in the hospital or require some sort of medical attention after they watch, you might be a man! (Thanks Earl P!!)
Most Darwin Award winners are male. If you win a Darwin Award, most likely you were male. Shameless plug: Terrible Ten, a channel dedicated to Darwin winners, stupid criminals, and "How did he survive that!?!"
If you have not been gouged, or had a broken bone, or had some kind of laceration or lost some body part or bruises big enough to be called another organ; you are not a man. At least that has been my experience.
Actually, now that you’re established that your husband is a man, just ask him if he’s gay. If he says, “no,” you’re a woman. If he says, “yes,” then you need to watch this video again because you might be a man.
If you feel (and are) responsible for feeding your family and protecting all woman & children, but also desperately *in LOVE with your POWER TOOLS* .. you're most definitely a MAN - and a great guy!
@@wasabista1613 Promise not to spread it around - but I used my Dad's name as my UserName - inherited his whole workshop & have every power tool a gal could ever want (shhh!) Know exactly what you mean abt my rechargeable hand tools!
My entire pants wardrobe is various versions of cargo pants. But at least my shirts are various versions of button ups AND t-shirts! Now that's variety.
If you take good care of those shoes, you can wear them to your own wedding(s) and finally be buried in them, or, if you're cremated, bequeath them to your son.
@@MichaelSmith-ri1rb does your wife have no family or friends how did you manage this did you marry yourself ive been dragged to five weedings in 7 years all by my wife so what trickery is this
If you have a clean pile of clothes, a "mostly clean" pile of clothes, a "they don't smell too bad" pile of clothes and a "I could still wear them in a pinch" pile of clothes, you might be a man.
Wow, I thought I was the only one. I have clothes I wore only once in a week, but don't smell yet, but aren't completely "smell free" so I can't out them in the clean pile in my closet. So i hang them around on objects in my room. I feel bad to wash them after wearing them a couple hours... Especially pants. What should I do?
Yep, like right now. I'm trying to contemplate how thinking about nothing would appear to an outside observer. 1.) If the outside observation does not measure my thought, am I thinking about nothing, or just thinking about something without being asked "what are you thinking about?" 2.) If an observation is made, will I continue to think about nothing, or will there be new nothing. Is new nothing also nothing? Is it the same nothing? Would that make it something? Further study is warranted.
Yeah, men are always to blame. We can't do anything, etc. Please tell me the difference between this video and the 20 million man hating tiktok videos out there
I don't watch pro sports nor do I call The Iowa Hawkeyes football team we. I do say we when my ex and I paint a room or build a deck, even though I did all the work and she was on her phone the whole day.
The recent Babylon Bee video explaining how to know if you're a woman had me a little nervous and feeling a bit insecure, but video absolutely confirmed for me that I'm not a man. Whew! But wait...does not being a man definitely mean I'm a woman? Oh shoot. Now I am going to overthink this and discuss it for a few hours with each of my 14 close female friends. Er, I mean friends I suspect are probably female. Oh dear.
Julia... ARE YOU A WOMAN OR NOT?! DO YOU HAVE XX CHROMOSOMES OR ARE YOU JUST PLAYING US FOR FOOLS BECAUSE THIS IS THE INTERNET? ARE YOU A CATFISH?! TALK! I'M BATMAN!
I saw a quiz once on how to tell if you're a hen-pecked husband. The final, clincher question was, "When your wife speaks to you, do you ever find yourself listening?"
I wasn’t sure until the “refer to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers as we” part. Now I am one hundred percent sure that I am a man. Thanks you so much for clearing this up for me.
I was informed that all men have only one neuron and that's the reason we can only do one simple thing at a time. I agree, I can only do one simple thing at a time.
"We won!" is definitely a cry often directed at anyone, in particular women, who are not the slightest bit interested in our team or even what sport we play.
I'll admit to one weakness of being a man. I absolutely panic anytime my wife drags me into a Walmart Supercenter. It's like a giant maze of crap and my fear only grows as I head deeper into the interior, fearing I'll never escape this dreaded maze.
And every single isle goes past the women's underwear section. Every.single.isle. Need a Fram 4320 oil filter? Start by going past women's underwear. Need a sewer snake to clean out a drain? Women's underwear. Need a new computer monitor? Women's friggen underwear. And, let's be honest here. MalWart is no Fredrick's!
I consider Wal-Mart to be like an adventurer's dungeon, full of wanted treasures but also full of red herring distractions and scary monsters, and the only way to defeat it is with a team & a tactical strike plan and to get in, grab the goods, and get out in the quickest way possible. If an item wasn't on the list, it doesn't get looked at or bought.
@@veganconservative1109 Double-X chromosomes are not incompatible with a brain. Justice Barrett proves that, among many others I could list. If Justice-designate Jackson is really too dumb to know what a woman is, then she will need a better excuse than that.
I have found out that I am a man, when my dirty dishes got alive and walked them self to dishwasher. ( no not to my female neighbor, the white box below sink )
Dishes are for low-level men. Once you become expert at man, you only eat off things that can be completely discarded later or which will be washed in any case. No dishes = no dish washing. Bonus points for eating off your own body or your car.
I didn't have to train the dog to lick the dishes I put on the floor to the point where all they need is a light rinse. Having a beast of a time trying to get him to load the dishwasher, though. Maybe I need to get him fixed so he can learn.
Today I learned that I am a man! All my adult life I've wondered why I pretend to know what an oil filter and spark plug is, and nod my head in agreement when my buddy says it needs replacing or why I have such a hard time reading instruction manuals and asking for directions. I wasn't even sure what this tiny weird thing hanging between my legs was. Its been so depressing not knowing the answer to any of these questions. But with this eye opening video, all the questions I've held onto have been answered. Thank you so much! This video is LIFE CHANGING! I'm going to re-watch it three more times! I give it a 10/10
OMG! You just described my Husband, except for the fixing the car thing; he couldn’t do that to safe his life….nor smoke anything…but he’s good at EVERYTHING else…..Toodles! ❤ Absolutely brilliant. PS…I Love and adore my husband because he’s a masculine MAN and I feel safe when I’m with him, because he’s a sensible, kind, strong, fit, honourable and capable man and he would help someone in trouble, because he’s just that kind of guy; he’s a gentleman. But finding anything in the fridge is beyond him…… What more could you ask for ? Having strong social and cultural values is important is when looking for a mate; but if YOUR values are all about virtue signalling your “ wokeness” you will only attract shallow, weak feminist soy boys and MALE feminists. Note to Woke Women: You will be ultimately be unsatisfied and disappointed, because you attracted what you thought you wanted,but NOT what you needed. HE will also be SORELY Disappointed, because he also attracted a shallow, virtue signalling, radical, far left LGBTQ feminist ideologue who will try to nut him and thwart any masculine expression of his maleness. Men are inspired to achieve and protect, when women NEED them to BE MASCULINE MEN…and women inspire and encourage these wonderful, protective instincts in men, when they are FEMININE….and NOT acting like ball busting radical feminists.
Also remember to put clothes in dryer right after washer, otherwise mildew will happen after a day or two. I need a timer in case I don't hear the washer say it's done.
I love the fact that babylon bee is making fun of both men and women. I opened this video afraid its just going to be a feel good video for men but I'm relieved it wasn't
Wow, I thank you for this sooo much. I’ve been struggling to figure out which one of the 420 genders I am for my entire life. I’ve been part of the lgbtq+{%#+}=]^{#]+[={%}^}+]=[+%]%}*]+^}%}*]+]+ community for 5 years, but they couldn’t tell me what I was neither. This video is super inspirational and it helped me figure out what I am.
Dangit! Now you guys have me questioning my manhood! I *don't* pretend to like cigars, because I actually like cigars; I have never had any difficulty locating the milk in the fridge; I can do all those things she mentioned except sewing because I've been a batchelor for waaay too long; I hate working on cars; I get lost on back roads *and* inside malls; I refuse to get pulled into caring about sports; I refuse to explain movies during movies (when women ask questions, it's because they *chose* to not pay attention. That's on them); *although* I am a man-spreader; would demolish some women's sports; and have XY chromosomes. Is there a minimum number I have to get right to be a man? That's it! Babylon Bee has convinced me that I'm trans! Keep up the good work! [Masculinity-required disclaimer: This was a joke. I am very much a man. Thank you.]
@@o0GrayMatters0o , Thanks! I feel like I picked a good month for it. Now I can go around being publically proud of my mental illness as if was a badge of honor and expect everyone to pat me on the back for something that I insist is just an innate and biological aspect of my make-up. Also, I can join in parades where people put their degeneracy on display and expect to be congratulated for it! It really is a great time to be -delus- true to one's self!
I'm a bachelor who somehow manages to keep my apartment decently clean, manage my dishes and laundry on a regular basis, and bakes and cooks the majority of my own food. This video just gave me a gender identity crisis since I am apparently not masculine enough because I do these things.
@@techguy3424 one more reason to remain single I suppose. I learned all this stuff so much faster out on my own then when I was living with my mom a few years ago, so I guess female influence really does interfere with a man's ability to care for himself somehow.
You may be an Australian man in disguise. Out here in the Land Down Under the men are allowed to cook and the one holding the barbecue tongs is the undisputed king of the topic of conversation. Even if the dishes are clean and the laundry folded.
To be fair , we don't turn on the GPS because someone decided to give it a woman's voice , and all it does is nag us that we are going the wrong direction.
I only got about half the signs I'm a man, so I went to check out the "signs you might be a woman" video - and yep, I'm a man. Thanks for clearing that up, BB.
I do. They keep longer. The skin gets darker, but the fruit doesn't ripen as quickly. I love them, but don't eat them quickly enough, so I decided to do a test and see what happened, and now I refrigerate my bananas.
@@ADayintheLifeoftheTw Yeah, I understand. What led me to this place is that I hate going shopping, so anything I can do to reduce the frequency of that activity, I do. So I buy as much as I can that will last as long as it can until I have to go out again. The limiting factor right now is milk, which only keeps for about 2.5 weeks.
You can tell you're a man when you're perfectly capable of doing all the house chores, but "mess them up" enough so your wife tells you to go back to the couch and watch TV.
Same with my parents. My dad does the laundry in our household, and folds them a certain way, too because none of us can ever do it right and are always missing socks otherwise. Same goes for the cooking, which my mom decides but my dad makes. XD
XX is female chromosone, XY is male, those gender confused souls can take lots of hormones, have a surgeon hack up their body to the opposite of the chromosones but their woohoo new-age 'science is real' hasn't found a way to hack the chromosomes ....divine in action, a collapse of an intellectual advanced society when the mentally unwell (minority) appear to run the show via propaganda media
WomAn. Unless you're saying you identify with the collective, in which case it's odd phrasing, but not wrong. As a man, endorsing a woman's good message, I choose to presume the latter, "not wrong" option. Also could just be f-ing autocorrect. I find I correct it more than it corrects me.
The absolute most stressful times in my life are my wife's birthday, Mothers Day and Christmas. I mean I get terrified. I even worry about remembering to get a card let alone a gift. And then wrapping the present(s) for her after I've asked her 20 times what she wants for: her birthday, mothers day, Christmas (No surprise gifts for her since I follow her suggestions.) I usually ask a neighbor or one of her friends if she will be willing to wrap the presents. They always smile and say, "Sure, you big dope!" So, I ask them who wraps their presents for them from their husbands and they say, "What gifts?" That's when I don't feel so bad and figure, hey man, I'm a pretty good husband. At least my girl gets presents.
Shortly before Valentine's Day one year, I saw the perfect gift for my sister. My brother-in-law readily accepted my offer to buy the gift and smuggle it to him in time for Valentine's Day. My sister took one look at the gift and said: "There's no way you bought this! As a matter of fact, you probably didn't even wrap it"! (Meantime, he really had wrapped it himself.) He quickly saw it was impossible to convince her that he bought the gift . . . but stood his ground about wrapping it.
@@jeanag3279 Damn right, I may not remember she had a birthday or know her favorite color or the names of her friends or if she is even in the house at times but I wrapped that damn present.
Years ago I started a list on my phone. Whenever something comes up that she needs or wants ("I really like that shirt," "my sandal broke," or "the nonstick coating is gone from this frying pan"), it goes on the list. The list lives on the calendar two weeks before the next gift-giving event. When I see it, I order whatever's on it from Amazon. I tell her not to open any packages for two weeks. I get the items and assign a kid to wrap them. I put them in my closet. When I am informed that the gift-giving day has arrived I get them out. HERO!
@@Mark-uq9km You're right! By my kids are 20 years apart, so I've been covered for a long time and still have at least 14 years of having them at home. When that time comes I guess I'll have to learn a new trick! Fortunately I think the world will end before then. 😉
Damn I was really getting worried if I was actually a man after the housework part but then the chromosome part really cleared it up. Thank you Babylon bee for this amazing guide you are really doing the lords work 🙏
One of my favorite things to do after work is meet another guy at a cigar lounge, kick back for a couple of hours and watch the game. I'm absolutely a man, never had any doubts. And because of that I seek wardrobe advice from women because otherwise I will just stick to my cargo pants and running shoes every single day.
As an aging female, I love my cargo pants (pockets are a must, the more the better) and running shoes are comfy with some protection built in. My advice would be to keep wearing what you like and already own. (As long as it doesn't challenge social decency laws.... which considering today's society is a pretty safe bet.)
@@veganconservative1109 I appreciate what you said. Yep I'll continue to be me, for better and for worse, my path zig zagging in the general direction of the straight and narrow. Peace to you, always!
A few more ways toe tell if you are a man; When something is wrong, you fix it if you don't like something with another person, you talk about it You have friends who actually care about you You have pockets
I love the: You have pockets! What in tarnation is wrong with womens’ clothes that there are hardly any pockets, especially the jeans. My favorite jeans have pockets that I can’t even put my whole hand into-only my fingers will fit inside! It’s a mind blowing fashion conspiracy. 🤯
I panicked and thought I was a man when the LOTR part came, because I explain every single thing (book referenced and all) every time I watch it, but then remembered my XX chromosomes and I sighed in relief.
I didn't remember my XX chromosomes until now, I was driving to the hospital to be chopped up and given pills to make me more manly. I have a bad case of nerdism when it comes to LOTR, but maybe it's not related to my gender!
And I thought only screwed up men behaved like that. It's good to know I am perfect just the way I am and that I don't need to change. You may have solved all my marital problems. You're a lifesaver.
Nope, you're good. Plus, people can't change their natures, so anyone who demands it is being ignorant. Also, this is just how 99% of women, based on all the complaints they tell me about their exes (I have a sister and her friends for experience), like about men -MEN, not boys/emotional men-children. The feminization of men these days is really annoying for both sexes and also a huge reason why so many women choose to be single. It's women who are suffering from all this. They want someone who is masculine and protective, not some whiny girlfriend who expects to be taken care of/mothered.
The think about nothing is so true. Been so many arguments over her asking me what I’m thinking about while sitting on the couch staring at a blank TV. I say “nothing” she says “you have to be thinking about some thing” I say I’m not. She says “is every thing ok” ‘yes” “then why won’t you tell me what you are thinking about. by that time I’m thinking about strangling her so now I have to lie and say I’m thinking about nothing.
I was a little worried there cause I was never into sports, AND I can do most housework 'cause I had to learn while my single mom was working, but one thing you forgot to mention; I HATE to shop, esp for clothing!
After watching both videos on determining whether I'm a "man" or "woman" I'm flummoxed! Sometimes,,,,,,,, I bleed at regular intervals! Like after going to the gym and getting my face hit by a flying knee, sometimes, there's blood. But then, I'll be standing outside pointing at, and talking about, all the doohickeys on my friends' cars. SUUUUPER PERPLEXED BRO! Also, has anyone seen the milk? I could have sworn I just bought some so I could watch LOTR and eat my cheerios with crushed Oreos.
TWO POINTS: 1, If you can dress yourself and yet don’t care about color coordination... you might be a man 2. If a steak and beer makes a great dinner, you might be a man.
My go to is look at yourself naked in the mirror if in the area between your waistline and your knees you have an appendage that sticks out you are a male if you do not have something protruding from same region you are female. (note this test may give false results after exiting a cold body of water or cold winter days if not certain repeat test in 70° or above conditions)
Are you a man? Are you sure?
this has got to offend someone... please... I don't have the energy to scroll down to look for the idiot offended by this, just comment here.
I’m having not just one, but two balls in the comment section down below. Twodles!
I was born with a dongle, not a port- so I'm sure!
I take hours to use the bathroom. Does that make me a man?
Yup. I'm a dude
As a fully-binary heteronormative non-birthing person, I approve this message
But you do still get your period, right? 🙂
I got a headache reading that...good show.
you forgot cis-gendered
@@JacobSerns Thats the most important one!
@@JacobSerns Can't forget cis. Got into it with an idiot today about cis. I thought the word MAN said it all.
Another way to tell if you’re a man is that you’re NOT offended by this video. Real men have a tolerable sense of humor. This was hilarious 😂🤣
I wouldn't say it was hilarious it was kind of stupid actually. If you laughed you're probably a simp!
plus a seemingly endless amount of patients 😂
@@belltopcone no, that's doctors. Men may have a large supply of *patience though 😂
the woman one is hilarious too!!
@@june012006 thats wot I said didle i.
If you find yourself pointing out everything that the hero in an action movie is wrong, yet you still watch the movie. You're a man and possibly a veteran.
I tell my wife during movies "it doesn't work like that". She tolerates me because she love's me.
Dude,! he is missing at a guy who is 25 METERS away with a rifle!!!! or Dude! He just shot the pistol out of a guys hands at 25 METERS! or DUDE! you just used METERS and you are probably a VET!
I am veteran and a scientist, I concur with your assessment.
Not a vet but i do that all day
I couldn't watch military shit with my dad cause he would nitpick the uniforms. CONSTANTLY
I'm definitely a man. I know because my wife keeps trying to fix me.
I’ll break it down for you. It means you were not her first Option.
People online question my humanity because I take this level of English wherever I go.
that's funnier than the video! （⌒▽⌒）
Amazing! No biology degree required ??? Someone should alert the Supreme Court !
I wonder if that justice's parents would be proud. All that money spent on "higher education" and she still can't define a man. What a satanic moron! Maybe she should become a doctor like Jill Biden?
I presume she is in fact a biologist.
@@brinaldoramziski976 You're probably right.. Didn't think of that.....
I love this comment section so much!
Can I sit in the toilet to pee if I am a man?
Hey, don't diss Rachel, she worked her balls off for her success.
You did go there.... 😲👍🏻
Off, not of.
And one of them got stuck in his throat.
@@fivefamily5820 it's a guy thing. You wouldn't understand.
@@fivefamily5820 Your, not her.
If you can open the fridge 20 times in one hour complaining there is nothing to eat, but expected the situation to change each time, before then taking random items with random sauces/ketchup and eating some horrific disaster scene...then you are a man
Being pathetic is not what being a man is about
I assure you women do that too 🤣🤣
Well...that was instant recognition for me.
Nah, only children do that.
aMEN to that.
I'm from Ethiopia and the fact that this nonsense is happening in the real world (the West) enough to be a source for satire is sad. But you guys never fell to make the most out of it. I'm a big fan. Much love all the way from Ethiopia. ❤
It’s embarrassing for sure.
@@TMac0925 It's sad and embarrassing at the same time. If a guy walks up to people here in Ethiopia and says he's a woman and tries to act like one, he'll get punched. Such things are seen to be demonic here, and rightly so.
@@samuelasnake3234 It's moreso that people in the west are enjoying so much safety and luxury, to the point where we have almost no problems at all, and certain people need problems to live, so they create more problems. It's sad
@@Flamehazard Yes, you're spot on. I've heard once Jordan Peterson quote Dostoevsky saying that if people live in a system where they eat cake and busy themselves with the continuation of the species; They'd break the system just to have something new.
@@samuelasnake3234 The further away we get from God, the greater the demonic activity.
I really began doubting myself when she talked about house work. I can do all those things. But then i looked closely at my chromosomes and was relieved to find that i am a guy. What a emotional rollercoaster. Phew, thanks for the clearup BB
I'm still trying to figure out where I'm supposed to be looking for them!
I turned a whole pile of laundry upside-down and still can't find them!
@@daniel.lopresti Probably next to the milk in the fridge.
Yeah, I have known many men who can do their own laundry and cook. I feel like this video was not really fair to men. Society wants to make men look like they are useless and stupid and we need to stop this. I'm a woman and I approve this message.
You might be doing housework, but are you doing it “right”?😙
I do most of the housework because my wife is physically disabled, but the county has a program where they pay me to do it, so doing housework is literally my side hustle.
If you skipped ahead to about the 2 minute mark, because no woman has ever gotten to the point in the first two minutes of telling you anything. . . . .You might be a man.
Yo this shit shoulda been in the video
Cannot like this comment enough times.
You sir, should work for The Babylon Bee.
Oh my! You killed me! Hilarious.
Hats off, sir.... man hats.
I resemble that remark. 🤣
Who is this brilliant woman who figured all this out without being a biologist??
That is me!
@@ChandlerJuliet Like I said, brilliant! 😊
did you just assume their gender? hOw dARe yOu!
I don't know but she's sweet.
Should check for chromosomes first before saying it's a woman. Well, if that is even accepted as a definition. Heck, do women even exist ?
"Can't" do the laundry etc. Is actually "Won't" disguised as "Can't"
Married 45 years and SCREWED UP the first laundry load SO BAD, the wife NEVER LET me touch the laundry again. Thanks forever to my Dad for the solid advice as I sit on my ass watching the game while the little woman is in the laundry room.
Please! Don`t reveal our secret!
As a cigar smoking, whiskey drinking, motorcycle riding mechanic, father and husband, I regret to inform you that I must turn in my Man Card due to the fact that I frequently do laundry, dishes and repair my clothes as well as stuffed animals via needle and thread. It was nice while it lasted.
Gayyyy
My Dad learned how to sew, yet he still works on projects around the house religiously!
So don't worry. You haven't lost your Man Qualifications just yet. Just think of it as being the Super Hero, Home Fixer-upper Man! 😉👍
- From Caring Young Adult Woman.
I do believe the appropriate term here is "Sis-gendered"!
Hand in your card on the way out!
It's probably less expensive than surgery to just forget how to sew.
@@barryon8706 lol. 🤣😂
It is so hilarious that you used a girl to describe men and a dude to describe women. That's why you guys are so great! You pay attention to the details.
Did you just mis-gender him? BIGOT!!!
@@somebloke13 lol, mis-gendering, just another way to determine your a fully-binary heteronormative cis-gendered non-birthing person....
did you just assume that this person has birthed?
@@somebloke13 🤣
@@gungnir3926 🤣
I figured the milk one was going to end "and once you finally find the milk in the fridge, you drink it straight out of the container."
And then put the empty container back in the fridge... 🙄😂
My wife is lactose intolerant so finding her small coconut milk is a needle in the haystack.
i only have the milk in the fridge and no one but me drinks it so why should i not drink it straight out of the container.
Yeah, I was going to say, "There are no dirty glasses in your house."
@@Tekoa80 hell yeah & then she finds out & he is done with life...lol
My goodness! I can relate to everything she said! I'm a man, hurraaayy!!
Day 5 without my spouse: I'm running out of clothes and I can't seem to find the milk...
If dirt, crumbs, or cat yak is entirely invisible to you (yet you magically step OVER it until someone else cleans it up), you're not just a man, you're a husband.
Since the pussies creating the yak are hers, it’s definitely her problem.
"Cat yak", I'm having that one! 😊
As a single guy with a cat, I'm up a creek!
TRUTH.
Add LEGO to that list and you are definitely a father.
I actually found the "1 X, 1Y, you are a guy" mnemonic super helpful. I always forget which letters go with which person.
1X + 1X, you are the fairer sex!
Me too !
There’s literally two. And you only need to remember one. Y=man, anything else is either a women or a genetic failure (in that, the genes failed, not the person).
Same here
Don’t feel bad.
I’m “so much of a man” that I kept it straight by thinking about XX being 2 boobies when I was younger.
True story.
I’m glad I finally got that off my chest.
I honestly have been thinking I’m showing early signs of dementia because I constantly have to ask my wife where my things are. I’m glad it’s just my rugged manliness.
Sorry. The term you were looking for was "Rugged Bravado......lol....."Rugged Bravado"
It's definitely not just a "man" thing. My husband has way better memory than me. If I dont have it written down, I'm highly likely to forget.
Lol my husband can't find anything. He'll be looking for like 5 minutes and then I'll look and find it in like 3 seconds and I'm like how did you not see it, it's literally in front of your face. or I'll ask for something and he brings something else that looks very similar, like instead of bringing out interior car cleaning wipes, he brought stainless steel cleaning wipes and was so confused when I told him those aren't the same thing just because they're both in a tube. It's endlessly entertaining 😂
This is partially incorrect. It's NOT that you can't find the blue sweater, IT'S not there! When the woman arrives she unlocks the ultraverse and the sweater appears.
Also, socks don't grew in drawers. After 64 years on Earth I discovered that there are women behind this phenomenon (at first mothers, later wife/gf) . Underwear too.
It is a mistery how it works in gay couples ... 🤔
If that's the case, my husband has dementia at 29
I was a bit worried over the part about house cleaning because I think I do that pretty well. But a friend, most likely female, informed that I had nothing to worry about and just because I think its clean doesn't mean that it is.
Lol
Most likely a female 😂😂😂
I seemed to be trapped inside a woman's body for the better part of a year. Then I was born!
BEST YET!!!
@@Jeremiah-hn6jp I stole this one Jeremiah, but I agree it is a classic! Thanks Jeremiah for the note. Adonai
😂
I get trapped in a woman's body too...then I come, and I'm OK after that.
@@redrock861 Ha. Ha. Ha.
Wise words from my Great Grandpa… If you don’t want to do something, do it so bad the first time that no one ever asks you to do it again. Legend!
I pretty much suck at everything, so even though I try my best, it's still so bad I usually don't get asked again. I see this as a n absolute win!
Yep, that's a man! Lol!
GOOD ADVICE!
problem is i own most of the thing i don,t want to do if i don,t fix them i have to pay some one to man up and fix the dam thing save time and money fix it right and
lol I do that. You never clean the dishes right!
Small correction, there was only one spider in Lord of the Rings.
That spider was Shelob, who was the daughter of Ungoliant.
Guess I'm a man.
And during the scene with the hobbits and the ring wraith
Women don't know the difference between The Hobbit and LotR movies. It's the same to them.
I’m a woman who has read the Hobbit and was very upset with the movie rendition. The hell even was that abomination?!
@@schuylergeery-zink1923 You may be a man.
@@earnestbrown6524 um, EXCUSE ME? The Hobbit movies were an abomination, wrapped up in a desecration, and ought to be obliterated from the face of the earth.
The Lord of the Rings movies were good AS MOVIES, but they couldn't match up to the book, not by a long shot.
I've been reading Tolkien for about 19 years, so don't even get me started! 🤣
*Yeah, I am the lazy dude who can't clean or cook. I am definitely a man ! Thank you Babylon Bee*
Thing is, men CAN and DO cook. Many are cooks at a restaurant. Be it a sitdown or fast food. My man is one. He took up cooking to be able to avoid military food. He cooks better than me.
if you tell your friends - "Hey hold my beer" and then end up in the hospital or require some sort of medical attention after they watch, you might be a man! (Thanks Earl P!!)
lmao...spot on
Most Darwin Award winners are male. If you win a Darwin Award, most likely you were male.
Shameless plug: Terrible Ten, a channel dedicated to Darwin winners, stupid criminals, and "How did he survive that!?!"
And probably from Florida.
if you tell your friends - "Hey hold my beer" and then end up drinking more beers, then you’re a man.
If you have not been gouged, or had a broken bone, or had some kind of laceration or lost some body part or bruises big enough to be called another organ; you are not a man. At least that has been my experience.
Thanks Babylon bee! I just found out that I'm married to a man! Now I just need to figure out if I'm a woman or not.
There's a video for that
They have that one too
l'm not certain but since your parents named you Chelle that might be a clue.
@Lori James oh yes!
Actually, now that you’re established that your husband is a man, just ask him if he’s gay. If he says, “no,” you’re a woman. If he says, “yes,” then you need to watch this video again because you might be a man.
You can add also, You know you're a man when your *"I'll be home in 5 minutes"* are the equivalent of a woman's 5 minutes to be ready when going out.
😆 Thats good. And accurate.
Someone saw Zeducation yesterday.
Lol! Yup!! 😆
🤣 Definitely 👌
Ylyl, Zeducation, yesterday's episode, busted.
Hahah admiral Rachel and Lia! Loved that you added them as MEN 😂 Nice video, also Signs you are a woman is also very funny 😁
If you feel (and are) responsible for feeding your family and protecting all woman & children, but also
desperately *in LOVE with your POWER TOOLS* .. you're most definitely a MAN - and a great guy!
Plenty of women are totally in love with their battery operated power tools…
@@wasabista1613 you just won the internet today with that comment
mmm, power tools. love me some tools, powered or not.
I have 30K in the tools in the garage!
@@wasabista1613 Promise not to spread it around - but I used my Dad's name as my UserName - inherited his whole workshop & have every power tool a gal could ever want (shhh!)
Know exactly what you mean abt my rechargeable hand tools!
Shoes: Work boots, sneakers, nice pair of shoes I bought in 1997 for graduation that are still good enough for the occasional wedding or funeral.
If you have fewer than four pairs of shoes, you might be a man.
The last wedding I went to was mine.....18 years ago!! 😎👍
My entire pants wardrobe is various versions of cargo pants. But at least my shirts are various versions of button ups AND t-shirts! Now that's variety.
If you take good care of those shoes, you can wear them to your own wedding(s) and finally be buried in them, or, if you're cremated, bequeath them to your son.
@@MichaelSmith-ri1rb does your wife have no family or friends how did you manage this did you marry yourself ive been dragged to five weedings in 7 years all by my wife so what trickery is this
If you have a clean pile of clothes, a "mostly clean" pile of clothes, a "they don't smell too bad" pile of clothes and a "I could still wear them in a pinch" pile of clothes, you might be a man.
Wow, I thought I was the only one. I have clothes I wore only once in a week, but don't smell yet, but aren't completely "smell free" so I can't out them in the clean pile in my closet. So i hang them around on objects in my room. I feel bad to wash them after wearing them a couple hours... Especially pants. What should I do?
Yeah, but probably college aged, or at least still in your 20s.
Dude, grow up man! 😄
you can't go wrong with storing clean clothes.
just wash everything in a weekly basis.
Add the pile in the corner that clean themselves
@@han1218 You should get a friend with benefits nahn.
I am so glad I found the Babylon bee! You guys have a great sense of humor and take a little serious out of my day
In my studies in theoretical physics and ontological philosophy, I do indeed think about "nothing" a lot.
Quantum physics is weird like that.
Sometimes, it's better that way....
Look for a guy name Mark Gungor... the talks about men´s nothing box! spot on.
How tautological of you.
Yep, like right now. I'm trying to contemplate how thinking about nothing would appear to an outside observer.
1.) If the outside observation does not measure my thought, am I thinking about nothing, or just thinking about something without being asked "what are you thinking about?"
2.) If an observation is made, will I continue to think about nothing, or will there be new nothing. Is new nothing also nothing? Is it the same nothing? Would that make it something?
Further study is warranted.
"And it's probably about something you did",
pure gold...and great to see you not shying away from the also man of the year candidate.
Or did not... either way your poor existence dared to cross the path of the existence of this particular woman!
Yo this had me cracking up the way she delivered that line almost like she was breaking character
Yeah, men are always to blame. We can't do anything, etc. Please tell me the difference between this video and the 20 million man hating tiktok videos out there
I felt personally called out by all of these but especially using "we" to describe a team of professional athletes who don't know I exist
I don't watch pro sports nor do I call The Iowa Hawkeyes football team we. I do say we when my ex and I paint a room or build a deck, even though I did all the work and she was on her phone the whole day.
XD that was my favourite one
@@KipdoesStuff That's called a royal 'we'. As the British Monarchs refer to themselves as 'we' not 'I'.
No fans = no money = no sports team, so yeah, carry on men.
If you cheered for them it’s like you did some of the work yourself
This was amazing and informative. This should be part of college orientation, especially nowadays.
The recent Babylon Bee video explaining how to know if you're a woman had me a little nervous and feeling a bit insecure, but video absolutely confirmed for me that I'm not a man. Whew!
But wait...does not being a man definitely mean I'm a woman? Oh shoot. Now I am going to overthink this and discuss it for a few hours with each of my 14 close female friends. Er, I mean friends I suspect are probably female. Oh dear.
I can assure you, if you have 14 friends that you discuss your personal problems with, you're definitely a woman
If you see a movie with two men sword fighting atop an erupting volcano and that goes on your bucket list, you’re a man. If not, you ain’t.
@@coalcreeker583, lol 😂
@@coalcreeker583Star wars revenge of the Sith
Julia...
ARE YOU A WOMAN OR NOT?! DO YOU HAVE XX CHROMOSOMES OR ARE YOU JUST PLAYING US FOR FOOLS BECAUSE THIS IS THE INTERNET? ARE YOU A CATFISH?! TALK!
I'M BATMAN!
I know this is supposed to be satire but it went right over may head because I'm a man and I don't listen to no woman
I saw a quiz once on how to tell if you're a hen-pecked husband. The final, clincher question was, "When your wife speaks to you, do you ever find yourself listening?"
That's only what you tell her
But you do have bad grammar lol it's listen to any woman. Lol hope you figure it out this is really funny
Next on Divorce Court -- (Kidding)
Beautiful
A man can simply say, "F*ck it," and everything will immediately return to normal.
“If you do not listen to your spouse, you are most likely a man.” 🤣🤣 Part 2 please!
well... there's 'pretending' to listen. I think that counts. :)
Hey...your wife can take care of that...easy peasy! Speaking from 54 years of marital bliss!
I wasn’t sure until the “refer to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers as we” part. Now I am one hundred percent sure that I am a man. Thanks you so much for clearing this up for me.
Directed at me, who’s lived in tampa my whole life
The Babylon Bee only exists to serve. Without them, there's no way to be sure if you're male or femalian. Thanks, BB!
Ur not a man, ur a toad
It is difficult to find things right in front of you when you are thinking about nothing. It's challenging, almost like multi-tasking.
I was informed that all men have only one neuron and that's the reason we can only do one simple thing at a time. I agree, I can only do one simple thing at a time.
I hope you finished your comment in time to remember breathing!
"We won!" is definitely a cry often directed at anyone, in particular women, who are not the slightest bit interested in our team or even what sport we play.
I'll admit to one weakness of being a man. I absolutely panic anytime my wife drags me into a Walmart Supercenter. It's like a giant maze of crap and my fear only grows as I head deeper into the interior, fearing I'll never escape this dreaded maze.
And every single isle goes past the women's underwear section. Every.single.isle.
Need a Fram 4320 oil filter? Start by going past women's underwear.
Need a sewer snake to clean out a drain? Women's underwear.
Need a new computer monitor? Women's friggen underwear.
And, let's be honest here. MalWart is no Fredrick's!
I'm a bona-fide xx chromosome woman and Walmart terrifies me too. It's okay. It's am awful place to be.
I would prefer Dante's inferno to that place, you poor guy. 🛒
I consider Wal-Mart to be like an adventurer's dungeon, full of wanted treasures but also full of red herring distractions and scary monsters, and the only way to defeat it is with a team & a tactical strike plan and to get in, grab the goods, and get out in the quickest way possible. If an item wasn't on the list, it doesn't get looked at or bought.
My husband and son would agree with you. The first time I went to a supercenter I regretted not bringing my rollerblades!
Show this to Ketanji Jackson immediately, it could help her learn about biology.
This is assuming she acquired a brain with her chromosomes. It seems doubtful.
@@veganconservative1109 Double-X chromosomes are not incompatible with a brain. Justice Barrett proves that, among many others I could list. If Justice-designate Jackson is really too dumb to know what a woman is, then she will need a better excuse than that.
With a name like "Ketanji", I'm surprised she knows anything at all.
@@polemeros Who knows?
Liberals don't "learn"
Hey, thanks for the Buccaneers shout-out! We are going to do great this year with Mayfield! GO BUCS!
Regarding the housework, it's important to distinguish between 'Can do' & 'Do do'
Also sniggering at a good do-do joke is a strong indicator
you said "do-do"! hahahah
(clearly i'm a man)
Do do is brown and often found in toilets or the streets of San Francisco.
I have found out that I am a man, when my dirty dishes got alive and walked them self to dishwasher. ( no not to my female neighbor, the white box below sink )
Based joke
Thanks for specifying which box.
Dishes are for low-level men. Once you become expert at man, you only eat off things that can be completely discarded later or which will be washed in any case. No dishes = no dish washing. Bonus points for eating off your own body or your car.
Gestation takes about two months from my empirical studies. Do you concur?
I didn't have to train the dog to lick the dishes I put on the floor to the point where all they need is a light rinse.
Having a beast of a time trying to get him to load the dishwasher, though. Maybe I need to get him fixed so he can learn.
Today I learned that I am a man!
All my adult life I've wondered why I pretend to know what an oil filter and spark plug is, and nod my head in agreement when my buddy says it needs replacing or why I have such a hard time reading instruction manuals and asking for directions. I wasn't even sure what this tiny weird thing hanging between my legs was. Its been so depressing not knowing the answer to any of these questions. But with this eye opening video, all the questions I've held onto have been answered. Thank you so much!
This video is LIFE CHANGING! I'm going to re-watch it three more times! I give it a 10/10
OMG! You just described my Husband, except for the fixing the car thing; he couldn’t do that to safe his life….nor smoke anything…but he’s good at EVERYTHING else…..Toodles! ❤ Absolutely brilliant.
PS…I Love and adore my husband because he’s a masculine MAN and I feel safe when I’m with him, because he’s a sensible, kind, strong, fit, honourable and capable man and he would help someone in trouble, because he’s just that kind of guy; he’s a gentleman. But finding anything in the fridge is beyond him……
What more could you ask for ? Having strong social and cultural values is important is when looking for a mate; but if YOUR values are all about virtue signalling your “ wokeness” you will only attract shallow, weak feminist soy boys and MALE feminists.
Note to Woke Women: You will be ultimately be unsatisfied and disappointed, because you attracted what you thought you wanted,but NOT what you needed. HE will also be SORELY Disappointed, because he also attracted a shallow, virtue signalling, radical, far left LGBTQ feminist ideologue who will try to nut him and thwart any masculine expression of his maleness.
Men are inspired to achieve and protect, when women NEED them to BE MASCULINE MEN…and women inspire and encourage these wonderful, protective instincts in men, when they are FEMININE….and NOT acting like ball busting radical feminists.
that deserves way more likes.
Laundry is easy.
1: get out of shower
2: open dryer
3: dryer empty means turn on washing machine. Dryer has clothes just get dressed.
Simple
Also remember to put clothes in dryer right after washer, otherwise mildew will happen after a day or two. I need a timer in case I don't hear the washer say it's done.
@@orange_cat are you married? Asking for a friend
Facts!
Women don’t watch movies. They just have movies explained to them by a man in the room who is watching the movie.
If you constantly get asked for help by people who say they don’t need you
“Can you open this pickle jar?”
Truth
That’s a good one!
I love the fact that babylon bee is making fun of both men and women. I opened this video afraid its just going to be a feel good video for men but I'm relieved it wasn't
Wow, I thank you for this sooo much. I’ve been struggling to figure out which one of the 420 genders I am for my entire life. I’ve been part of the lgbtq+{%#+}=]^{#]+[={%}^}+]=[+%]%}*]+^}%}*]+]+ community for 5 years, but they couldn’t tell me what I was neither. This video is super inspirational and it helped me figure out what I am.
When the acronyms start to look like regex you know things have gotten out of hand.
'they' could not tell me?
Singular, plural?
@@henkvandenbergh1301 plural, I went to 3 woke therapists and 12 zodiac girls, and none of them could tell me what gender I am
And who you are....
@@Foouhomeyg Im batman 🦇 🦇🦇
As a man, I'm deeply insulted. I totally know that thing under the hood of my car is the exhaust pipe.
Ohhh, that explains why my car didn't start when I filled the fuel into the opening under the hood... Thanks fellow man!
@@friedrichrubinstein2346 Don't mention it! 😅
It's the fool plump
@@E55666 😂That's it!
While you're under there, be sure to top off your blinker fluid!
if can pee on a camp fire without getting burned or write your name in the snow without crab walking chances are your a man
I always tossed my beer bottles into the camp fire and then urinated on them to watch ‘em shatter. Man stuff.
hahahahahah
The Urinal is the real test of manhood! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@mikenodine6713 and what about woman with penises ? hahahahahaha
If you SHOULD have been able to urinate on a campfire, but couldn't due to lack of coordiantion. You deserve to be a newly made trans.
I laughed loudly at that way more than I thought I would. My wife would agree with all these points 😅
#10 sounds like it describes most women today: "can't cook, can't clean, cant do laundry, can't fold clothes...."
That's because the modern American female identifies as male, or 'other'.
That explains transgenderism.
We should inform the authorities.
Dangit! Now you guys have me questioning my manhood! I *don't* pretend to like cigars, because I actually like cigars; I have never had any difficulty locating the milk in the fridge; I can do all those things she mentioned except sewing because I've been a batchelor for waaay too long; I hate working on cars; I get lost on back roads *and* inside malls; I refuse to get pulled into caring about sports; I refuse to explain movies during movies (when women ask questions, it's because they *chose* to not pay attention. That's on them); *although* I am a man-spreader; would demolish some women's sports; and have XY chromosomes.
Is there a minimum number I have to get right to be a man?
That's it! Babylon Bee has convinced me that I'm trans! Keep up the good work!
[Masculinity-required disclaimer: This was a joke. I am very much a man. Thank you.]
I never doubted you for (more than) a second
HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA
enjoy your soy
@@o0GrayMatters0o ,
Thanks! I feel like I picked a good month for it. Now I can go around being publically proud of my mental illness as if was a badge of honor and expect everyone to pat me on the back for something that I insist is just an innate and biological aspect of my make-up. Also, I can join in parades where people put their degeneracy on display and expect to be congratulated for it!
It really is a great time to be -delus- true to one's self!
I'm a man and I know how to sow. I leave sewing to the women
She is right, as a man I can go hours at a time not thinking of anything at all. Some times I have to remind myself to stop drooling.
I am not thinking right now.
"You can think about literally nothing for hours at a time". Yes thats my husband.
I'm a bachelor who somehow manages to keep my apartment decently clean, manage my dishes and laundry on a regular basis, and bakes and cooks the majority of my own food. This video just gave me a gender identity crisis since I am apparently not masculine enough because I do these things.
Don't worry you'll forget all of that stuff once you get married or yelled at by your GF that you're doing it wrong.
@@techguy3424 one more reason to remain single I suppose. I learned all this stuff so much faster out on my own then when I was living with my mom a few years ago, so I guess female influence really does interfere with a man's ability to care for himself somehow.
You may be an Australian man in disguise. Out here in the Land Down Under the men are allowed to cook and the one holding the barbecue tongs is the undisputed king of the topic of conversation. Even if the dishes are clean and the laundry folded.
Use a shop-vac and a leaf blower to clean the house and you will feel better.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, is her boyfriend/husband still wrong?
Very funny. She has great comedic timing and perfect expressions!
Facial expressions? never noticed. (i.e. man)
Aw thank you Rich!!!
1X 1Y, a catchy lullaby
...and sweater puppets! I like those....✨👍
If you dont have to ask for directions even though you know you lost. Your a man.
If you heard silence during this entire video because you're so used to zoning out while women talk, you might be a man!
Omg!, hilarious..🤣
I had to replay it 3 times...
To be fair , we don't turn on the GPS because someone decided to give it a woman's voice , and all it does is nag us that we are going the wrong direction.
This is a true service to society. Not even satire, a real infomercial for many people…
For real! 😂
This was one of the most sexist videos I've ever seen and I absolutely loved it!
🤣🤣🤣🤣
You think this was sexist you should see the one about being a woman.
glad I'm not alone
I was seriously wondering but now I am not. Thank you Babylon Bee now I know I am a man. I will let my wife and son know today.
I only got about half the signs I'm a man, so I went to check out the "signs you might be a woman" video - and yep, I'm a man. Thanks for clearing that up, BB.
Who the hell puts a banana in the Fridge!!!
Germans!
I do. They keep longer. The skin gets darker, but the fruit doesn't ripen as quickly. I love them, but don't eat them quickly enough, so I decided to do a test and see what happened, and now I refrigerate my bananas.
@@pumpknhd Fair enough, it's not really an issue for me, as my name suggests, I have a tendency to eat them waaay before they have a chance to go bad.
@@ADayintheLifeoftheTw Yeah, I understand. What led me to this place is that I hate going shopping, so anything I can do to reduce the frequency of that activity, I do. So I buy as much as I can that will last as long as it can until I have to go out again. The limiting factor right now is milk, which only keeps for about 2.5 weeks.
You can tell you're a man when you're perfectly capable of doing all the house chores, but "mess them up" enough so your wife tells you to go back to the couch and watch TV.
I knew it!
A foolish man complains about the hole in his pocket... A wise man uses that hole to scratch his balls Sigma male grindset
"One X, one Y, you definitely are a guy. This is so easy, I wonder why it's been so hard so long, thanks! Babylon Bee!
This was funny until it came to the part about the laundry. I’m now concerned my wife might be a man…..
Same with my parents. My dad does the laundry in our household, and folds them a certain way, too because none of us can ever do it right and are always missing socks otherwise. Same goes for the cooking, which my mom decides but my dad makes. XD
As an XX who identifies as a women (sshhhh I know that's a naughty unidentified word) -- I approve of this message
Identifies as a what??
Wait whatr those
BUT WHAT IS THAT?!?
XX is female chromosone, XY is male, those gender confused souls can take lots of hormones, have a surgeon hack up their body to the opposite of the chromosones but their woohoo new-age 'science is real' hasn't found a way to hack the chromosomes ....divine in action, a collapse of an intellectual advanced society when the mentally unwell (minority) appear to run the show via propaganda media
WomAn. Unless you're saying you identify with the collective, in which case it's odd phrasing, but not wrong. As a man, endorsing a woman's good message, I choose to presume the latter, "not wrong" option.
Also could just be f-ing autocorrect. I find I correct it more than it corrects me.
The absolute most stressful times in my life are my wife's birthday, Mothers Day and Christmas. I mean I get terrified. I even worry about remembering to get a card let alone a gift. And then wrapping the present(s) for her after I've asked her 20 times what she wants for: her birthday, mothers day, Christmas (No surprise gifts for her since I follow her suggestions.) I usually ask a neighbor or one of her friends if she will be willing to wrap the presents. They always smile and say, "Sure, you big dope!" So, I ask them who wraps their presents for them from their husbands and they say, "What gifts?" That's when I don't feel so bad and figure, hey man, I'm a pretty good husband. At least my girl gets presents.
Shortly before Valentine's Day one year, I saw the perfect gift for my sister. My brother-in-law readily accepted my offer to buy the gift and smuggle it to him in time for Valentine's Day. My sister took one look at the gift and said: "There's no way you bought this! As a matter of fact, you probably didn't even wrap it"! (Meantime, he really had wrapped it himself.) He quickly saw it was impossible to convince her that he bought the gift . . . but stood his ground about wrapping it.
@@jeanag3279 Damn right, I may not remember she had a birthday or know her favorite color or the names of her friends or if she is even in the house at times but I wrapped that damn present.
Years ago I started a list on my phone. Whenever something comes up that she needs or wants ("I really like that shirt," "my sandal broke," or "the nonstick coating is gone from this frying pan"), it goes on the list. The list lives on the calendar two weeks before the next gift-giving event. When I see it, I order whatever's on it from Amazon. I tell her not to open any packages for two weeks. I get the items and assign a kid to wrap them. I put them in my closet. When I am informed that the gift-giving day has arrived I get them out. HERO!
@@Runwithme418 What are you going to do when the kids fly the coop? You better start planning now. Just saying!
@@Mark-uq9km You're right! By my kids are 20 years apart, so I've been covered for a long time and still have at least 14 years of having them at home. When that time comes I guess I'll have to learn a new trick! Fortunately I think the world will end before then. 😉
Today I discovered that I am not a man, thank you Babylon Bee, it was very useful
Damn I was really getting worried if I was actually a man after the housework part but then the chromosome part really cleared it up. Thank you Babylon bee for this amazing guide you are really doing the lords work 🙏
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
One of my favorite things to do after work is meet another guy at a cigar lounge, kick back for a couple of hours and watch the game. I'm absolutely a man, never had any doubts. And because of that I seek wardrobe advice from women because otherwise I will just stick to my cargo pants and running shoes every single day.
All honesty? Cargos, sneakers, and a tee (or polo) are sufficient for most events.
@@ubergamer0198 Yep! Totally agree. And it keeps life simple and less stressful.
As an aging female, I love my cargo pants (pockets are a must, the more the better) and running shoes are comfy with some protection built in. My advice would be to keep wearing what you like and already own. (As long as it doesn't challenge social decency laws.... which considering today's society is a pretty safe bet.)
@@veganconservative1109 I appreciate what you said. Yep I'll continue to be me, for better and for worse, my path zig zagging in the general direction of the straight and narrow. Peace to you, always!
A few more ways toe tell if you are a man;
When something is wrong, you fix it
if you don't like something with another person, you talk about it
You have friends who actually care about you
You have pockets
Don’t be so touchy. This was a joke.
@@marthacanady9441 twas a joke as well, if a bit more in the nose. What would you recommend to how I could improve it?
I love the: You have pockets!
What in tarnation is wrong with womens’ clothes that there are hardly any pockets, especially the jeans. My favorite jeans have pockets that I can’t even put my whole hand into-only my fingers will fit inside! It’s a mind blowing fashion conspiracy. 🤯
Refusing to ask for directions or turn on the gps…👌🏻
I panicked and thought I was a man when the LOTR part came, because I explain every single thing (book referenced and all) every time I watch it, but then remembered my XX chromosomes and I sighed in relief.
That makes two of us!
I didn't remember my XX chromosomes until now, I was driving to the hospital to be chopped up and given pills to make me more manly. I have a bad case of nerdism when it comes to LOTR, but maybe it's not related to my gender!
True story. First time shopping with my wife I stood still in the women's clothing section and she passed me five times.
And I thought only screwed up men behaved like that. It's good to know I am perfect just the way I am and that I don't need to change. You may have solved all my marital problems. You're a lifesaver.
Jonathan - surely you know that perfection is only attainable with 2 X chromosomes!
Show your wife this video. She'll forgive you.
Possum Lodge's Man's Prayer: "I'm a man... and I can change... If I have to... I guess."
Nope, you're good.
Plus, people can't change their natures, so anyone who demands it is being ignorant.
Also, this is just how 99% of women, based on all the complaints they tell me about their exes (I have a sister and her friends for experience), like about men -MEN, not boys/emotional men-children. The feminization of men these days is really annoying for both sexes and also a huge reason why so many women choose to be single. It's women who are suffering from all this. They want someone who is masculine and protective, not some whiny girlfriend who expects to be taken care of/mothered.
Although I was never in doubt, I thank you in the multiple explanations just given from this video that I am a true man, for sure.
This is groundbreaking research.
The think about nothing is so true. Been so many arguments over her asking me what I’m thinking about while sitting on the couch staring at a blank TV. I say “nothing” she says “you have to be thinking about some thing” I say I’m not. She says “is every thing ok” ‘yes” “then why won’t you tell me what you are thinking about. by that time I’m thinking about strangling her so now I have to lie and say I’m thinking about nothing.
Good one. :)
Thank goodness for that last sign of being a man, I was a bit hit and miss up to that point.
I was a little worried there cause I was never into sports, AND I can do most housework 'cause I had to learn while my single mom was working, but one thing you forgot to mention; I HATE to shop, esp for clothing!
"Men are capable of thinking about absolutely nothing for days, women on the other hand are always thinking."
Quality counts too.
After watching both videos on determining whether I'm a "man" or "woman" I'm flummoxed! Sometimes,,,,,,,, I bleed at regular intervals! Like after going to the gym and getting my face hit by a flying knee, sometimes, there's blood. But then, I'll be standing outside pointing at, and talking about, all the doohickeys on my friends' cars. SUUUUPER PERPLEXED BRO!
Also, has anyone seen the milk? I could have sworn I just bought some so I could watch LOTR and eat my cheerios with crushed Oreos.
I'm detecting some stolen content from JP Sears here.
@@FreeThinker0 Honestly, don't know what you're referring to. I had to lookup it up.
th-cam.com/video/oFzDye5yGp0/w-d-xo.html this particular video but I think I'm thinking too hard.
If you get hit in the face by a flying knee, it might not be a gym you went to.
@@machinemaker2248 MMA/Boxing/Muay Thai/BJJ gym........I train mostly Submission Grappling/BJJ..... a lot of knees flying around.
Keep fighting the fight, BB!
Having no clue in malls...classic. I thought it was just me.
TWO POINTS:
1, If you can dress yourself and yet don’t care about color coordination... you might be a man
2. If a steak and beer makes a great dinner, you might be a man.
Omfg. I'm a man. Damn, so all my suspicions were correct...
Color what? Coord...Coors? Like the beer? Sure. Thanks.
Wait... A Steak and Beer ISN'T a great dinner??!
@@TheMorrogoth you beat me by 8 hours. I also am confused about this questioning of the greatness of steak and beer.
@@RealBadMike I can't think of very many meals that are better! Lol
My go to is look at yourself naked in the mirror if in the area between your waistline and your knees you have an appendage that sticks out you are a male if you do not have something protruding from same region you are female. (note this test may give false results after exiting a cold body of water or cold winter days if not certain repeat test in 70° or above conditions)
Yup. Wamth helps make the inny become a outy.
You know you are a man when a woman gets this special delight in making fun of you-🤣
And she did a great job.
Men and house work. Females fixing the car or doing the lawns. We all know there is boy jobs and girl jobs so let’s stick to what we are good at.