I think the thing that pisses me off most about being trans is that no matter how much I see myself as a dude, everyone else sees my as a girl. I always use male pronouns for myself in my head and see only masculinity when I look in the mirror, but whenever I go anywhere I realize that most people still use "her". Tbh I think it's mostly because of my voice, but I really like to talk D:
i feel so jealous when i see a trans guy who gets on T and even if they’ve started to transition or have a family that even semi accepts them bc i can’t relate. i can’t transition and my friends will make fun of me so i can’t tel anyone how i’m feeling edit: i actually have 2 friends who know and a cousin who is also trans and we talk about it, if any of you are down bc you think no one will understand, it gets better and you’ll eventually find at least a few people who get it.
You're a guy. You're one of the cutest guys I've seen so far and you're one of my favourite youtubers. I don't if this helps you, but there are lots of people who view you as the man you are
Dr Mobius II If you don’t have anything nice to say then leave have you ever learned that? I’m only 13 yrs old and I’m more reasonable and accepting than your sorry ass
I tried to fight back tears while watching this and reading the comments. I hate my female body, and I always think that if I was born biologically a boy I'd be happier. I wish I didn't feel this way, but it hasn't stopped. I told my mom and she told me it's a phase most likely, and I've convinced myself I'm a boy. I tried to stop thinking about this but it's always in the back of my mind. I freaked out just a minute ago because I saw someone in the comments who's name is the name I want to change mine to. I've felt dysphoric about my birth name since I was little. I always thought feeling uncomfortable with your name was normal and I had to get used to it. Since learning about gender dysphoria, I now know what to call my feelings about my name, and other parts of me like my chest, legs, face, and voice. I just wish these feelings would go away and I could live as a girl, but I don't think they will.
That.Guy.Peggy I know this is à year old but anyway. I know that having my closest friends give me a nickname in stead of my birth name is helping and since this comment is à year late, i hope that you are at least starting to feel better
My family and some friends also told me I was taking it or it was just a phase after I tried to convince myself it was just a phase, which made it worse. So I definitely relate to your story too
I know this is 2 years old, but best of luck! You took a big step in the right direction by telling your mom, I haven't told mine yet. I love my birth name but it's a girl's name so I wouldn't be able to keep. Sometimes I feel like I'm for sure trans and then I feel scared like I'm just in some phase. I know what I would change my name to, and I want to get an mri to see if I'm trans.
@@astraegraves9152 Same, I didn't ask cause I haven't told anyone but I wound up getting a male nickname and I was happy cause I asked that my friends call me Tommy and use He and Him but it was a joke we all made up even though I was using it as a test to help me see if I'm definitely trans. Mostly because my biggest fear of this is that I'll tell everyone I'm trans, have surgery, and then years later wake up feeling like I made the wrong choice and I'll never be able to get my old self back and my family will be disappointed at me or be like, I told you so.
As a cis person who has never had any dysphoria, it's something I have a hard time understanding. But this is how I've come to understand it. Everybody has this internal body map. Even when I close my eyes, I can still touch my nose and clap my hands because I have this internal sense of myself and my body. From what I understand, dysphoria is the strange feeling when the person you see in the mirror doesn't match what your internal sense of self says you should look like. It's not like phantom penis (although I've heard some trans guys panic for like half a second and think "where did my penis go?! Oh yeah..." So maybe that's the case. I don't know.) Another thing I used to be confused about was the difference between being self-conscious or uncomfortable with your body and being dysphoric. I think it was Ash Hardell who described it this way. A cis person who doesn't like their chest for one reason or another would say "I don't like my chest." A trans person who has dysphoria feels like "This is not my chest. This is not how it's supposed to be." How accurate is that? I genuinely want to understand as best I can because other people's experiences are fascinating to me, and also because I was to be a good support for trans people.
Miss Adjusted that's actually a really accurate description of it, since dysphoria is caused by having the brain of the opposite sex. it manifests itself in loads of different ways but stems from not recognising your body as your own.
Miss Adjusted As the two other comments said this is verry accurate and is a good explanation for dysphorie. It does varry à lot form person to person. I know that one of my friends doesnt feel much pain but is always depressed/stressed and has panic attacks because of this. Whereas another friend is "ok" most of the time but cringes to male pronouns and her birth name but feels intense pain in her chest and abdomen when she isnt "ok". Just to say that there is so many ways that people suffer from dysphoria they all are an absolue hell.
Same there, dude. I'm a transguy myself and I live in Central Asia, so I can't start on T or get a surgery until I will move to another country. It really sucks because I feel very dysphoric. I have a weird eating behavior (probably an eating disorder) because I feel insecure about my thighs (they're too feminine). Your video is very accurate I think. I have a friend and she's a transgirl, she's disgusted of her own body. I don't want her to suffer. I don't want anyone to suffer. I just wanna say that someday we all will get there. Please, don't give up. P. S. Sorry for my English. Love your channel
Larc en Ciel ❤️ your English is perfectly fine, it's actually better than some people with English as their first language!!! lol just keep on keeping on. ❤️
hard to stay optimistic when people are growing up thinking trans is actually a thing...i just live in reality why would someone think this nonsense is real
Dysphoria. I can't stand it. I'm happy, I know what I am. I'm a boy. Most of my friends know I am. they're cool with it. My friend (who also experiences Dysphoria because they're gender fluid, and they were born a girl), they have been helping me to stop cutting and just be me. To just be out, and be a male student (who, btw, happens to be gay 0.o). And that's great. But because my body has suddenly said "HERE!! Have all this weight and fat on your hips! You never really looked too feminine, so have this!!!" I now have a more female figure. And I have long hair. which I like, other than the fact that people see a girl when they see me. So I want to cut it short. Kind of like yours, Kovu. And donate it to Locks of Love for cancer patients. but my dad won't let me cut it until I'm 18. I'm only 15. And because my parents don't know that their daughter is really their son, it hurts even more. I can be called a girl 20 times in less than 20 minutes. Ugh. I needed to vent. I'm sorry.
How are you now? I get the whole hair thing. I’m questioning my gender and my hair has been a pain in my whole soul but my mom won’t let me cut it till I’m 18 (I’m 16). I plan on being a pain in her ass for as long as I have to stay with this hair. If I gotta live with this pain for 2 years so does she. I find that tucking my hair into a beanie when I’m at school helps. And wearing baggy hoodies.
Would you happen to have any advice from your genderfluid friend? I'm also genderfluid and was born a girl. I hate the more feminine parts of my body, like my chest and hips because it prevents me from feeling confident with whatever gender I identify as at any given moment. It's hard because my family probably wouldn't accept that, at least, my mom certainly wouldn't. I'm 14 and I pretty much rely on her because my dad lives in a nearby town (they're divorced, I should specify. And he might be supportive?) and my sister is 27 and moved out already. I've got quite a large bust and it never fails to make me feel like crap. Even when I feel like a girl, my chest always feels off. I've tried layering sports bras and I came so close, but even with a baggy T-shirt, they were still visible. I can understand how hard it is when your family doesn't know about you, and most likely wouldn't accept you. It hurts when I feel non-binary, or like a guy and they ask me to try on a hand-me-down skirt. My mom is very liberal and supportive of the LGBTQ+ community and of various different gender identities but is also mildly disrespectful towards them. I'm not planning to come out to any of my family until I can financially support myself because, y'know, safety comes first. Sorry, I just totally ranted in the replies, but I just wanted to ask for advice for people who are going through something similar.
when i get chest dysphoria i slouch all the time or wear baggier shirts or kinda cover my chest up somehow. maybe even wear a flannel or something. but chest dysphoria... it feels like an... itch? like i wanna pick at my chest and get rid of that itch. the thing is i can look down at my body and be okay with it. i mean sure, if i touch "them" it feels... off or even talking about them feels off too. but whenever i have to wear clothes i get more physical dysphoria for some reason. as for my bottom dysphoria i only get it if i think about relationships or being socially involved with a girl. and like... sex y'know? in public i don't smile as much and i slouch all the time even with a binder but my confidence is better when i wear one. there's also a sense of relief. i just don't know how to act in public because i have this thing "this is too feminine" i can't talk like that, ect. so i try not to talk as much, walk more masculine, talk more sexual, (the manly stereotypes). dunno if T is right for me though. change is very hard for me, and i've always had a comfort bubble and i hardly leave it. just not sure if i can move forward with my life without transitioning or something though. i imagine myself in a more male role, especially if i'm dating or even in the future. i see a future for me but it's one as a male, and i try to picture a future as me as female and i either see nothing or someone whose still confused and unhappy. i've always thought i wouldn't want my own kids, but i'd feel like i'd regret transitioning and not having them... maybe that's just overthinking though??? nice video too though. :)
Alex P so I’m not trans but I think I still have chest dysphoria I hate hate HATE my boobs I really just wanna cut them off but I’m only 11 not old enough to get surgery I don’t really care about the rest of my body but my boobs uuuugggghhhgg ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️😖😖😣😣😞😞😟😢😠😠😢😢😢
@Alex P Woah I feel like reading my own thoughts! 0_0 its scarry I realy had to check if one of us wrote that =D also wearing things like a sportsbra Is Making it worse somehow...=/ I can totally relate and feel totally confused and I so hope you find your way soon! ♡ Thank you so much for your comment helps me not to feel so alone annymore. I thought I would go nuts ...
Alex P I identity with you so much. I tried way too hard to be female and hated my masculine looking body because I felt I should be a certain way to be a girl. Well, I’m not a girl. I never wanted this body but my dysphoria isn’t massively intense. There was always something there and yes I have social anxiety, but not as a guy. I couldn’t explain why I didn’t want people seeing me as a woman or seeing my female name. I thought I was just scared of being myself but using male pronouns and being male I can confront these things. to me it’s an underlying feeling
I'm in a country where lgbt is illegal if the government knows about you, you'll be sentenced. I'm Transgender (FtM) and I told my BESTEST friends about it but luckily they supported me 😊 witch in gappy about. Well sorry for wasting your time BTW The person reading this is Adorable Bye pumpkin pie🔥❤
Dear Kovu, I watch a lot of youtube (like an obsessive amount) and I love a lot of youtubers but I just have to say that never in my entire 14 years of living have I related to something someone is saying so much . And I know this is a weird comment because people will say "well of course any trans masculine person will relate to this" but it is the way down to the smallest details you describe what I as an individual feel and the way you describe how you "deal" with it by bottleing it up I just found it so helpful to find a video that maybe one day I could show to my loved one's so they get a real idea of what I am going through.Before I finish this I wanted to say one more thing to you Kovu , you are worthy I know sometimes you feel like you aren't but trust me you are .xx lots of love Niall xx
Milada Schekoldin ah, I kind of consider non-binary people as trans, cause they don't identify as their birthgiven sex😅 it might be wrong of me, but yeah, I meant to include non-binary individuals in that x
I totally related to all of this, dysphoria is so enveloping and overwhelming and I wish I had tips for others while I'm still experiencing it every day for over 4 years now, it gets difficult when you've exhausted all your options (socially transitioning, changing your appearance/style like clothing or hairstyles, etc.). But, even though I haven't reached HRT yet, I have a gut feeling it will be so worth it and I just know it'll be the same for you. You fight to survive, because you've made it this far. You can make it even farther. We love you! ❤
Rosanne Staal HRT stands for Hormonal Replacement Therapy. It's a part in transition that (most) trans people go through in order to appear and sound properly aligned to their self image and identity. For example, transmen (FtM) would take Testosterone (which would include Kovu and me), whilst transwomen Would take Estrogen (and) Testosterone blockers. Thanks for asking so politely btw!
Me: Hey God? God: Yeah dude? Me: What is this? God: What is what? Me: This. Why is my body female? God: You... aren't a girl? Me: Nope. God: Jesus Christ- GAVEN Gaven: *Putting female souls into male bodies * God: GAVEN! ARE YOU MESSING WITH THE BABY PRODUCTION LINE AGAIN? THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK!
I don't know if anyone else has experienced this, but I find that on days when my body dysphoria isn't so bad I freak out. Like my gender and social dysphoria is always there, but some days my body dysphoria doesn't hit me as hard as it usually does, and when that I happens I get launched into a crisis. Because of that one day where I don't completely and utterly hate my body i panic because I feel like I'm not trans? If that makes any sense at all. It's almost addicting, if I don't feel bad about my body my anxiety is through the roof. I don't know if this is normal or if anyone else has experienced this, but it's so draining. To go through through one day of feeling fairly okay with my body, but having a crisis and that just repeats. When my body dysphoria is bad agian, I get almost a feeling of relief, because I've come to know it so well.
I'm transgender and not only do i have dysphoria but my chesticals are uneven (okay Jerome TMI) and I don't have a binder AND I also have social anxiety AND I'm under alot of pressure at school because I am expected to be the best cellist in class and help my classmates with their problems soooooo yeah life is fun right now
I'm watching your videos and i have this "big sister" feeling. Like i want to hug you and promise everything will be all right. I've been through hard times aswell and i stood up for my own a thousand times while everyone else was watching, laughing at me and bullying me for who i am and what I do, how i dress or behave. When I see these videos i feel like i need to protect you and strengthen you up so we can fight the world together 😳
my hair is pink and I've been thinking about making my hair a nice dark brown. but I still like my pink hair. I just thought it would help people think I'm a guy more.
Kovu, its going to get better. yes it seems so far away right now but think in a few years you have have a chance of starting t! A chance is better then what your feeling now. And please, practice what you preach. You are worthy and valid. So many people look up to you and are feeling the same way you are. From what it sounds, you have people in your life who really care about you and love you. You are amazing and despite what pain you feel you go on and share it and thats so amazing and strong to me. If there is even a chance youve seen this i wanna say thanks and i hope u have an amazing day!
you should all check out the album “Transgender Dysphoria Blues“ by Against Me!. It is a great Punk Album about the MTF transition from the front leader. But maybe you all already know about it🙈
Recently i started doing a lot of research cause i think i might be a trans guy, but actually i can't really relate to most people describing their expierence and that makes it very hard for me to figure out all the stuff, so thank you for that one Buuuuuuuut i just came here to say that i know this is very old video of yours and follow you on your social media for some time and it just makes me so happy to see how far you have already gone with your transition now. Knowing that this little, sad boy from this video became a grown man, a lot happier with his life just puts a big smile on my face and gives me hope that some day i'll figure all my shit out and everything will be fine
I can't even express how sorry I am that you have to feel this way. I came here to educate myself more and now I really really want to give you all a big hug :(
Thank you for making this video. I’m a trans guy (ftm) about to get my first short haircut. And this video really made me feel like I’m not alone in the world
Ik probably a lot of people have said this to you because you're amazing but I just wanted to say I have been subscribed since like 1k (kind of long) and you are my absolute favourite youtuber! (and I watch a lottttt of youtube so) and I also relate to you a lot as recently I have been questioning my gender and i'm pretty sure i'm a boy and your videos have really helped me discover who I am. Idk if you'll ever read this but yeah ilyyyyyyy Kovu xx
This was SO relatable. I also deal with dysphoria the same way... Bottling it up and then eventually having a large mental breakdown. It really sucks. I feel you man.
We are all here for you Kovu. Forward is forward, no matter the speed. We all transition at different times. Hell, my biggest current dream is to wear a tie to a school concert. You're always here to give advice and reassurance. We are here to do the same.
Dysphoria is like being trapped in a huge box. You can't get out. Your stuck there forever. You can decorate your box to make it feel more better. More at home. But you still know your missing out. It's not the real world.
You are one of the best people I've ever seen. You are my favorite TH-camr. Not "TRANS" my favorite youtuber, itself. You are human not a species identified as "trans." You have helped me so much through finding my identity. I agree dysphoria sucks stale nuggets, but you have really helped struggles. I love you, and please know that you are the most significant influence in my life.
This was very informative. I have a new friend who deals with dysphoria and I wanted to understand it better. She talks to me about it, but the more information I can get the better I can accommodate her, and make sure she feels comfortable, safe, & accepted. I accept her completely, so learning how to show that is very important to me.
heyo kovu, i'm asher, a trans guy. i have body dysmorphic disorder (bdd) .. and let me just tell you, body dysmorphic disoder is real and it sucks. on top of gender dysphoria, too. it's a constant battle with my body, especially being a teen with anxiety disorder and having to deal with all the hormones and angst along with it. you make my dysphoria and anxiety go away a lil bit. thank you for never failing to make me smile (:
I am non binary and when i get disphoric i like to read, draw, or just do something to detract myself, it makes me feel like a sense of dread or depression
You are AMAZING, Kovu. Way to be real with your feelings and show that there is human depth to the experience of LIFE! I know a transman and he has my heart. It is important to be true and seek truth, and you will attract people who only want the same. Thank you for helping to co-create an awake world.
I just came out to my friends and my mum and she said to wait till you’re 18 (I’m 15) to mature and see what I feel like then. But she also said the first step is cutting my hair, and I did. I miss my hair because it’s change (I have autism so it’s really difficult) but I also love my hair so...I also got my friends to start using male pronouns and using Max as my name. It’s difficult and emotional and if I do transition I hope my family and friends see me the same but just male. Thanks for letting me vent.
@@Tobys_Trains it’s been good. I’m gonna wait till I’m 20 (now 16) to do anything but I’m still getting my friends to use those pronouns and use my chosen name Ethan (changed it cause I love the name Ethan) thanks for wondering ☺️
Dysphoria: HEY dress more like a girl Me: ok The next day~ Dysphoria: wow ur rly dressing like that you look like a girl you aren't a girl wtf stop keep in touch with your masculine side Me: oh... Ok. Dysphoria: but like... Wear a dress...
Everytime you upload a video like this, it's like I hear myslef talking, I can relate SO FUCKING MUCH. It's really painful to watch but also relieving cause I know there are people feeling the exact same way and that is just so sad. You always say out loud what I think but don't say to anyone, so thank you, it makes me feel like I'm not alone
I get it too. I recently discovered I was trans and I just cut hair to look like a boy. Now people keep asking me if I'm transgender. My guts tell me to say yes but the voices in my head say no. I always go with the voices. I feel ashamed of who I am and I cry a lot. I'm only 12 years old but I have felt this all my life.
Same. I can literally see that I have a male brain. I feel strange when I show emotions, I can just cry inside (one time I teared up, my reaction: "Hey, what the f**k is that?! A f****ng tear? Ur kidding motherf***er!") Pretty strange reactions I have and a "colourful language", sometimes. Plus I think like a male, behave(completely) and I will look like one soon. I'm 12 too. But I know I'm a boy since 9. So, yeah. Plus gender dysphoria... -_-
the first time I watched one of ur videos it was that creative ways to come out as gay one, and my first thought was "that is either a really masculine girl, or somewhat feminine guy" and I'll admit after watching a few more videos and figuring out u were trans, it's deffinately difficult for me to see someone whose trans as not their original gender, but at the same time they still fit the gender they see themselves as. Personally, if someone feels a certain way about their gender, I try my best to see them as the gender they identify as, no matter what my brain tells me, because it's respectful for the person. I'd never call someone who is trans "not a real guy" or "not a real girl" because it's rude to them, and it sucks that you have to go through people saying that to you Kovu
I've been narrating my life in third person in my head, using he/him and my chosen name (e.g. "Jake is walking down the street. He is happy because he is going to buy something at the shop.") It kinda helps me a bit but eh, maybe it will work for you?
im agender and i have terrible disforia. and it really sucks. because i bind on my own way cause i cant let my parents know i have a real one. they dont even understand that im agender. my father still calls me she and his daughter but i hate it. and my mom still says she too. and at school especcially when people toutch me im worried they will know my secrets. and its terrible and disphoria and everythin.
I know this video is 3 years old, but I related so much to this. I ended up breaking down in tears people don't understand how we feel what it actually means to be transgender. People think we just chose to be the other gender, they don't realise the pain we actually feel and have felt for years before we even tell you what we are. We don't choose to have a life of medication and surgeries that could potentially put us at risk. We don't choose to hate our bodies and hate how other people see us. We don't choose this life lots just who we are and people don't see that they just see what we want you to see so thank you for making this video. I know no one will see this comment but I needed to get this out there.
I was scared to watch this video and not relate to it, but everything you said in this video, I felt like I’ve experienced it before. Other than the actual pain, the emotional pain that goes through me seems to replace actual pain and with the same intensity, which is definitely not good for my mental health. I’ve lost hours and hours of sleep to the point where I’m sure I can add up all the lost hours to combine it into a whole day or two, or three, or four- I’ve had dreams and nightmares about it, only to wake up with the same awful and disappointing reality that is Dysphoria. The reason I was scared to not relate to it is because I have not officially been diagnosed with Dysphoria yet. I have yet to find myself a gender therapist in my area, and although I’m getting very close, the doubt is very much still there. But I was really happy to find out that this video was something I could relate to, as some kind of inner reassurance with myself. Thank you Kovu. Love your vids ✨✨
You absolutely 100 percent described my experience. I’m 21 and just now taking my transition into my own hands, I completely understand how you feel like you’re losing your youth. I feel for you, I hope things get better for you soon. Thank you for making this video.
I just wanted to say thank you for making this video. I plan to show this to my mom because I am horrible with words and cannot describe what dysphoria feels like near as well as you did. Just thanks, and keep doing what you're doing (:
Just today I had this pang of dysphoria. It's like you read my mind. It just hurts, you know? I've spent 5 minutes trying to explain how it feels when it really hits me, but I come up empty. It just hurts.
aww!!!!!! talking doggo!!!!!! Kovu, I can feel the pain cuz it's this side of the screen too. We love you and it's OK to let it out every now and then, you're just being real. It really helps knowing that we're not alone in this Lolol
I'm really lucky because my dysphoria is usually pretty mild (I'm lucky to have a small chest and I usually pass but not consistently enough), but I'm also kinda young and I feel such terrible anxiety about myself developing in a feminine manner and if I already have daily breakdowns due to dysphoria (mostly surrounding chest and voice), then I can't imagine what it'll be like later. I feel you so much on the medically transitioning part because conservatives are a thing and I'm basically just holding my breath until college where I can actually start transitioning (maybe). But we'll all get there and it'll be amazing??
I am a fiction writer. For a character situation in a novel, I decided to do some research and hear from the mouth of someone who knows the feeling of Dysphoria. What that feels like. The instant I saw you and heard you I knew and thought immediately that "This is a sweet guy." My first impulsive thought was that. Thank you so much for helping confirm that I was very much on the money for my writing. Kovu Kingsrod, you are a wonderful young man and I look forward to seeing the good you will bring to the world when you break free. You have the strength, you are worth it and the rest of the world is waiting as well. See you now and see you then.
you are helping me so much rn. im still figuring out my gender and your videos is helping me. you make me happier, keep going and stay safe and always remember that we all have your back whenever it feels shit❤
LIFE SUCKS AS A TRANS!! I am FTM and I hate it because I am constantly trying to get away from things where boys and girls are separated because it's uncomfortable. I also heard that having a chest binder is kinda dangerous to have because it can get fluid in your lungs so can you tell me if that's true? Anyone who can relate to wanting to be a boy but is struggling please leave a like! 😜
I'm trans, too, and it really does suck. But I've been wearing a binder regularly for about two years now and I haven't noticed any negative effects. I haven't heard about anyone having lung problems because of their binder either. I don't think that would be the case. I really really hope that's not the case.
I think as long as you get the right size, don't wear a binder while you sleep, and take it off if it starts to hurt you should be fine. Those stories are pretty rare, and they are more likely to be cases where someone tried to bind with bandages or tape, which can be really dangerous. Hope this helped.
Same here I hate it when boys and girls are separated . I hate gender sepcific roles. I hate gender discrimination. I hate gender rigidity. I feel myself gender fluid
I cried with this video OMG I can’t tell you everything I want to tell you because I don’t speak English.... You are a man and you have a body that is usually related to a girl in people’ minds but that’s not always like that and there is nothing wrong with it! I know it’s too hard for you, I’m here to support you and you are my favorite TH-camr because your videos always show so deep things and you’re not as “fake” as other youtubers. You are very brave and you deserve all the love that exists in this world. I hope you can finally feel completely happy one day. I love you
I think you did a great job on explaining what dysphoria feels like especially because it's something that is so hard to explain. As someone having to deal with some dysphoria I love that you shared your life to show that no one is alone. Thanks for making this video.
I'm a chick and I wanna just give a massive hug to this guy / girl I'm sorry if I sound weird I'm not trying to offend but I actually feel like really feel your pain don't worry I'm in the same dam boat
Kovu, thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I am trans and trying to find ways to explain everything to my mom and your video has been a huge help to me. I wish you the best, dude :)
Just because your trans doesn't mea you're not a 'normal' guy.... that made me ugh, I get some people don't get it but if they get it then screw them. Besides normal is boring. ^J^
Thanks for putting this out there. I know it's really hard to be vulnerable and I really appreciate your emotional honesty because it really did help me understand dysphoria more. You are truly brave and I hope things get better for you.
I feel like I'm lost in my mind when I look at myself in the mirror or when I'm in the shower I see "them" and it makes me feel uncomfortable with myself. I always wear baggy clothes to hide my chest as I feel dysphoric about it but it's not just my chest it's my height my voice and my hair. I'm about to come put to my mum as trans I don't know what she'll say but ill ask her to cut my hair if it goes well.
Thank you. I work with young people and want to increase my knowledge to ensure that I am supportive in situations that I have little experience in. Your video is extremely helpful. I really appreciate you taking the time to post and explain.
Thank you for making this video. As a parent, it's very helpful. You are helping people understand a little more what soneone like my son FTM, is going through. You did a wonderful job speaking your truth, much love and happiness to you.
You my friend are a top bloke. For a young fellow, you are so very mature and well spoken. Every single word you used to describe dysphoria is spot on. I am 23 years old ftm trans (trust me l feeeeeeel your pain when l say it) and l still havent got a binder and my family are SORT of starting to get the idea but still refer to me by my birth gender. Its like a pair of daggers each time l get referred to as my birth gender. There are good days and some bad ones. I love you and your videos man - believe it or not, your content makes me feel better and less alone so thanks mate :)
Jack Whitty thank you so much! Your comment means a lot I'm glad I make you feel a bit less alone, and I hope people start coming around soon (and that you'll be able to get a binder)! :)
Thanks for the vid, Kovu. After opening up to my family and having them still refer to me as the sex I don't see myself as, this came at just the right time... I'm real sorry for your struggle man, but it's reassuring to know I'm not alone.
I believe I am transgender but, dysphoria dose not hit me as hard. And it makes me feel like I should not, come out. But I read some transgenders don't have dysphoria.(or at least not as strong) Is this true?
And I am also dreadful at passing. But I'm getting some new clothing soon. I hope my dad doesn't say anything about me getting my clothes from the men's section.
some people say that you can be trans without dysphoria but scientifically it's not true. but even if your dysphoria is mild, if it's there then you're trans. it's not always hating your body, sometimes it's just the disconnect that you feel between yourself and your biological sex.
My dysphoria isn't very strong either, just a lot of repressed emotions, mostly I'm scared to feel dysphoria because my parents are very unsupportive and they matter to me and I don't want to let them down but... This feeling won't go away
4:03 rip my ears hahaha. Amazing video btw :) And strange is better then normal, normal is boring :( So just be yourself, you don't need to care about what people say. You are good enough, you help so many people with this, even me.
This video is so inspirational. You are amazing and so strong for talking about something so personal like this. I want to give you a hug! I'm subscribing right now
(some) different types of dysphoria: •bottom dysphoria is when u feel uncomfortable with your genitalia because you don't believe it's the 'right one' •chest dysphoria is when you dislike how your chest looks because it doesn't relate to the gender you feel like you are •social dysphoria is the discomfort you experience when someone calls you by the wrong pronouns/gender. the rest, such as voice dysphoria, are pretty self explanatory
Hey Dude! Thankyou so so much for making this video, (I can see it was really hard!). It helped me to understand my friends and partner's dysphoria really helpfully, been following you for years and love your content. Thanks for being you!
That Video was awesome. Thank you so much. It really hurt seeing you being sad like this, but I think that it’s important to make people aware of dysphoria and you explained everything so well.
"Normal is an illusion, what is normal for the spider is chaos for they fly." - Morticia Adams
Paige Says Hi love this
The Addams family?
I have a feeling you're one of those people who live a normal life but are secretly a goth on the weekends xD
I agree
What is normal for the spider is not also chaos for the spider
Just kidding. You do you
i hate dysphoria so much, it destroys my whole life. i wish i was born in the right body
Ren honestly same I feel the exact same way
Kyle • MY GOD YOU HAVE MY SAME NAMEEE
ugh same
Same
Same...
you are a real guy I mean it's not like you are a unicorn
A non A mouse its just a username !!
A non A mouse he is a unicorn
He is a loin from Lion King!!!
PeanutSackThing what is a loin xD
+lucianabenik
You know what I fucking mean.
I asked my mom what gender she thought you were and she said "a very beautiful man", she's very supportive of the LGBT+
You have a cool mom.
You have an awesome mom 👍
Wish my mom was that understanding..
this.. this does put a smile on my face
My mom supportive but will time to time say "I miss my little girl"
I think the thing that pisses me off most about being trans is that no matter how much I see myself as a dude, everyone else sees my as a girl. I always use male pronouns for myself in my head and see only masculinity when I look in the mirror, but whenever I go anywhere I realize that most people still use "her". Tbh I think it's mostly because of my voice, but I really like to talk D:
You keep on talking as much as you want. The world will catch up eventually :-)
Whenever someone calls me she, I just feel crushed. Really sad.
Skepticool same problem for me, I talk so much but since I talk so much and so fast my voice becomes high pitched and I hate it
Same, I’m sorry dude
same :(
I CAN RELATE SO MUCH. I get so damn jealous when I see guys get on T when they are younger than me and shit. I’m also happy for them but man
i feel so jealous when i see a trans guy who gets on T and even if they’ve started to transition or have a family that even semi accepts them bc i can’t relate. i can’t transition and my friends will make fun of me so i can’t tel anyone how i’m feeling
edit: i actually have 2 friends who know and a cousin who is also trans and we talk about it, if any of you are down bc you think no one will understand, it gets better and you’ll eventually find at least a few people who get it.
@@Stephanie-lk5jf bruh your friends sound like buttholes
same for me 🖐😔
You're a guy. You're one of the cutest guys I've seen so far and you're one of my favourite youtubers. I don't if this helps you, but there are lots of people who view you as the man you are
True
I like your profile pic ;)
Dr Mobius II shut up you little shit he’s a boy and he’s handsome get your transphobic ass off this video
@Dr Mobius II and you're obviously a rude, uneducated, ignorant person hating on people. All people should love each other. Everyone is equal.
Dr Mobius II If you don’t have anything nice to say then leave have you ever learned that? I’m only 13 yrs old and I’m more reasonable and accepting than your sorry ass
I tried to fight back tears while watching this and reading the comments. I hate my female body, and I always think that if I was born biologically a boy I'd be happier. I wish I didn't feel this way, but it hasn't stopped. I told my mom and she told me it's a phase most likely, and I've convinced myself I'm a boy. I tried to stop thinking about this but it's always in the back of my mind. I freaked out just a minute ago because I saw someone in the comments who's name is the name I want to change mine to. I've felt dysphoric about my birth name since I was little. I always thought feeling uncomfortable with your name was normal and I had to get used to it. Since learning about gender dysphoria, I now know what to call my feelings about my name, and other parts of me like my chest, legs, face, and voice. I just wish these feelings would go away and I could live as a girl, but I don't think they will.
That.Guy.Peggy
I know this is à year old but anyway.
I know that having my closest friends give me a nickname in stead of my birth name is helping and since this comment is à year late, i hope that you are at least starting to feel better
Same. Everyone tells me it’s just a phase, no one uses my correct pronouns, people tell me if I were to transition I would never be a real man ugh :(
My family and some friends also told me I was taking it or it was just a phase after I tried to convince myself it was just a phase, which made it worse. So I definitely relate to your story too
I know this is 2 years old, but best of luck! You took a big step in the right direction by telling your mom, I haven't told mine yet. I love my birth name but it's a girl's name so I wouldn't be able to keep. Sometimes I feel like I'm for sure trans and then I feel scared like I'm just in some phase. I know what I would change my name to, and I want to get an mri to see if I'm trans.
@@astraegraves9152 Same, I didn't ask cause I haven't told anyone but I wound up getting a male nickname and I was happy cause I asked that my friends call me Tommy and use He and Him but it was a joke we all made up even though I was using it as a test to help me see if I'm definitely trans. Mostly because my biggest fear of this is that I'll tell everyone I'm trans, have surgery, and then years later wake up feeling like I made the wrong choice and I'll never be able to get my old self back and my family will be disappointed at me or be like, I told you so.
Trust me, your voice DOES NOT sound like a girls' voice!!! 💖
People suck. You're one of the cutest guys I've seen, period.
Jamin You Have No Jims Oh hi fellow ARMY
TaeWasSpilled SHUT UP
Shhhh not that word..... period. Every single trans guy or girl I’ve ever meet hates it....... period
@@fuzzbone n o
U speak the truth
As a cis person who has never had any dysphoria, it's something I have a hard time understanding. But this is how I've come to understand it.
Everybody has this internal body map. Even when I close my eyes, I can still touch my nose and clap my hands because I have this internal sense of myself and my body. From what I understand, dysphoria is the strange feeling when the person you see in the mirror doesn't match what your internal sense of self says you should look like. It's not like phantom penis (although I've heard some trans guys panic for like half a second and think "where did my penis go?! Oh yeah..." So maybe that's the case. I don't know.)
Another thing I used to be confused about was the difference between being self-conscious or uncomfortable with your body and being dysphoric. I think it was Ash Hardell who described it this way. A cis person who doesn't like their chest for one reason or another would say "I don't like my chest." A trans person who has dysphoria feels like "This is not my chest. This is not how it's supposed to be."
How accurate is that? I genuinely want to understand as best I can because other people's experiences are fascinating to me, and also because I was to be a good support for trans people.
Miss Adjusted that's actually a really accurate description of it, since dysphoria is caused by having the brain of the opposite sex. it manifests itself in loads of different ways but stems from not recognising your body as your own.
As an mtf person who hasn't even started going by female pronouns yet, I can say this is very accurate.
Miss Adjusted
As the two other comments said this is verry accurate and is a good explanation for dysphorie. It does varry à lot form person to person. I know that one of my friends doesnt feel much pain but is always depressed/stressed and has panic attacks because of this. Whereas another friend is "ok" most of the time but cringes to male pronouns and her birth name but feels intense pain in her chest and abdomen when she isnt "ok".
Just to say that there is so many ways that people suffer from dysphoria they all are an absolue hell.
I like people like you :)
This isn’t hate but I’m FtM and I just don’t understand why cis women like their gender. I mean I get it but it is just hard to process
I've never related to another human being more. I'm sorry you go through this dude. I'd give you some advice but I'm in the same situation.
my nama jeff I'm sorry you go through this as well
Kovu is a unicorn your Adams apple is bigger than mine and I am biologically male
Borristhebeaver 1024 not cool to say “I’m a biological dude” you know? You are just telling him “I was born in the body you want”
@@fraan0602 hey man you deserve an applause🎉🎉🎉👏👏👏🙌🙌🙌
Same there, dude. I'm a transguy myself and I live in Central Asia, so I can't start on T or get a surgery until I will move to another country. It really sucks because I feel very dysphoric. I have a weird eating behavior (probably an eating disorder) because I feel insecure about my thighs (they're too feminine).
Your video is very accurate I think. I have a friend and she's a transgirl, she's disgusted of her own body. I don't want her to suffer. I don't want anyone to suffer.
I just wanna say that someday we all will get there. Please, don't give up.
P. S. Sorry for my English. Love your channel
Larc en Ciel ❤️ your English is perfectly fine, it's actually better than some people with English as their first language!!! lol just keep on keeping on. ❤️
Larc en Ciel where are you from?😉
Lulu Cho I'm from Kyrgyzstan.
Joey Gladstone How about you come out of your closed mind and learn to accept people as they are.
hard to stay optimistic when people are growing up thinking trans is actually a thing...i just live in reality why would someone think this nonsense is real
You are trans but YOU ARE A GUY. You are more than the label "Trans". I love you so much. stay strong lovely bean.
Dysphoria. I can't stand it. I'm happy, I know what I am. I'm a boy. Most of my friends know I am. they're cool with it. My friend (who also experiences Dysphoria because they're gender fluid, and they were born a girl), they have been helping me to stop cutting and just be me. To just be out, and be a male student (who, btw, happens to be gay 0.o).
And that's great. But because my body has suddenly said "HERE!! Have all this weight and fat on your hips! You never really looked too feminine, so have this!!!" I now have a more female figure. And I have long hair. which I like, other than the fact that people see a girl when they see me. So I want to cut it short. Kind of like yours, Kovu. And donate it to Locks of Love for cancer patients. but my dad won't let me cut it until I'm 18. I'm only 15. And because my parents don't know that their daughter is really their son, it hurts even more. I can be called a girl 20 times in less than 20 minutes. Ugh. I needed to vent. I'm sorry.
How are you now? I get the whole hair thing. I’m questioning my gender and my hair has been a pain in my whole soul but my mom won’t let me cut it till I’m 18 (I’m 16). I plan on being a pain in her ass for as long as I have to stay with this hair. If I gotta live with this pain for 2 years so does she. I find that tucking my hair into a beanie when I’m at school helps. And wearing baggy hoodies.
Would you happen to have any advice from your genderfluid friend? I'm also genderfluid and was born a girl. I hate the more feminine parts of my body, like my chest and hips because it prevents me from feeling confident with whatever gender I identify as at any given moment. It's hard because my family probably wouldn't accept that, at least, my mom certainly wouldn't. I'm 14 and I pretty much rely on her because my dad lives in a nearby town (they're divorced, I should specify. And he might be supportive?) and my sister is 27 and moved out already.
I've got quite a large bust and it never fails to make me feel like crap. Even when I feel like a girl, my chest always feels off. I've tried layering sports bras and I came so close, but even with a baggy T-shirt, they were still visible.
I can understand how hard it is when your family doesn't know about you, and most likely wouldn't accept you. It hurts when I feel non-binary, or like a guy and they ask me to try on a hand-me-down skirt. My mom is very liberal and supportive of the LGBTQ+ community and of various different gender identities but is also mildly disrespectful towards them.
I'm not planning to come out to any of my family until I can financially support myself because, y'know, safety comes first.
Sorry, I just totally ranted in the replies, but I just wanted to ask for advice for people who are going through something similar.
when i get chest dysphoria i slouch all the time or wear baggier shirts or kinda cover my chest up somehow. maybe even wear a flannel or something. but chest dysphoria... it feels like an... itch? like i wanna pick at my chest and get rid of that itch. the thing is i can look down at my body and be okay with it. i mean sure, if i touch "them" it feels... off or even talking about them feels off too. but whenever i have to wear clothes i get more physical dysphoria for some reason. as for my bottom dysphoria i only get it if i think about relationships or being socially involved with a girl. and like... sex y'know? in public i don't smile as much and i slouch all the time even with a binder but my confidence is better when i wear one. there's also a sense of relief. i just don't know how to act in public because i have this thing "this is too feminine" i can't talk like that, ect. so i try not to talk as much, walk more masculine, talk more sexual, (the manly stereotypes). dunno if T is right for me though. change is very hard for me, and i've always had a comfort bubble and i hardly leave it. just not sure if i can move forward with my life without transitioning or something though. i imagine myself in a more male role, especially if i'm dating or even in the future. i see a future for me but it's one as a male, and i try to picture a future as me as female and i either see nothing or someone whose still confused and unhappy. i've always thought i wouldn't want my own kids, but i'd feel like i'd regret transitioning and not having them... maybe that's just overthinking though??? nice video too though. :)
I get that 'itch' as well. Except mine is more of I feel like I'm suffocating. Like when you where a winter coat that's far too big across the chest.
Alex P so I’m not trans but I think I still have chest dysphoria I hate hate HATE my boobs I really just wanna cut them off but I’m only 11 not old enough to get surgery I don’t really care about the rest of my body but my boobs uuuugggghhhgg ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️😖😖😣😣😞😞😟😢😠😠😢😢😢
@Alex P Woah I feel like reading my own thoughts! 0_0 its scarry I realy had to check if one of us wrote that =D also wearing things like a sportsbra Is Making it worse somehow...=/ I can totally relate and feel totally confused and I so hope you find your way soon! ♡ Thank you so much for your comment helps me not to feel so alone annymore. I thought I would go nuts
...
Alex P I identity with you so much. I tried way too hard to be female and hated my masculine looking body because I felt I should be a certain way to be a girl. Well, I’m not a girl. I never wanted this body but my dysphoria isn’t massively intense. There was always something there and yes I have social anxiety, but not as a guy. I couldn’t explain why I didn’t want people seeing me as a woman or seeing my female name. I thought I was just scared of being myself but using male pronouns and being male I can confront these things. to me it’s an underlying feeling
Magic Pigeon im pretty sure you're thinking of body dysmorphia, not dysphoria
I was feeling hella dysphoric bc apparently we're gonna swim in school, so this video helped.
thanks dude!
Maybe you can wear a swimshirt
I don't think you're a real guy...
I KNOW you're a real guy
RazzoRaptor You had me in the first half not gonna lie,
Agreed though.
OHHH MY GOODDD YOUR DOG IS AAADDOORRABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm in a country where lgbt is illegal if the government knows about you, you'll be sentenced.
I'm Transgender (FtM) and I told my BESTEST friends about it but luckily they supported me 😊 witch in gappy about.
Well sorry for wasting your time BTW
The person reading this is Adorable
Bye pumpkin pie🔥❤
Shenna Moiane what country are you in? it’s honestly hard to believe that there are countries which are still like that
@@sheepyking8353 I'm pretty sure that there are a Lot of countries like that
@@sheepyking8353
About 72 countries criminalize those in homosexual relationships, 13 of which it is possible to get charged with the death penalty.
when i first saw one of your videos, i literally had no idea you were trans; you pass so well!
Dear Kovu,
I watch a lot of youtube (like an obsessive amount) and I love a lot of youtubers but I just have to say that never in my entire 14 years of living have I related to something someone is saying so much . And I know this is a weird comment because people will say "well of course any trans masculine person will relate to this" but it is the way down to the smallest details you describe what I as an individual feel and the way you describe how you "deal" with it by bottleing it up I just found it so helpful to find a video that maybe one day I could show to my loved one's so they get a real idea of what I am going through.Before I finish this I wanted to say one more thing to you Kovu , you are worthy I know sometimes you feel like you aren't but trust me you are .xx lots of love Niall xx
I just wanted to say that not only Trans people get Dysphoria, Im a Genderfluid and I got a lot of that shit
Yeah have a good day y'all💕
Milada Schekoldin ah, I kind of consider non-binary people as trans, cause they don't identify as their birthgiven sex😅 it might be wrong of me, but yeah, I meant to include non-binary individuals in that x
Kovu is a unicorn oh OK, gocha
have a good day💕
and remember you are fabulous
where's that damned sparkles
nah get a rainbow 🌈
Milada Schekoldin I hope you have a good day too!
Kovu is a unicorn 💖💖💖
Milada Schekoldin I'm genderfluid too!
I totally related to all of this, dysphoria is so enveloping and overwhelming and I wish I had tips for others while I'm still experiencing it every day for over 4 years now, it gets difficult when you've exhausted all your options (socially transitioning, changing your appearance/style like clothing or hairstyles, etc.). But, even though I haven't reached HRT yet, I have a gut feeling it will be so worth it and I just know it'll be the same for you. You fight to survive, because you've made it this far. You can make it even farther. We love you! ❤
calciferon what is HRT exactly? I've never heard that term before.
Rosanne Staal HRT stands for Hormonal Replacement Therapy. It's a part in transition that (most) trans people go through in order to appear and sound properly aligned to their self image and identity. For example, transmen (FtM) would take Testosterone (which would include Kovu and me), whilst transwomen Would take Estrogen (and) Testosterone blockers. Thanks for asking so politely btw!
calciferon thanks! So it also includes blockers?
Me: Hey God?
God: Yeah dude?
Me: What is this?
God: What is what?
Me: This. Why is my body female?
God: You... aren't a girl?
Me: Nope.
God: Jesus Christ- GAVEN
Gaven: *Putting female souls into male bodies
*
God: GAVEN! ARE YOU MESSING WITH THE BABY PRODUCTION LINE AGAIN? THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK!
this is an amazingly funny comment and I love it
PLS I LOVE THIS AUAHUAHA
thank you for uploading a video, I needed it :)
Also your dog is cute as fuck XD
I don't know if anyone else has experienced this, but I find that on days when my body dysphoria isn't so bad I freak out. Like my gender and social dysphoria is always there, but some days my body dysphoria doesn't hit me as hard as it usually does, and when that I happens I get launched into a crisis. Because of that one day where I don't completely and utterly hate my body i panic because I feel like I'm not trans? If that makes any sense at all. It's almost addicting, if I don't feel bad about my body my anxiety is through the roof. I don't know if this is normal or if anyone else has experienced this, but it's so draining. To go through through one day of feeling fairly okay with my body, but having a crisis and that just repeats. When my body dysphoria is bad agian, I get almost a feeling of relief, because I've come to know it so well.
I'm transgender and not only do i have dysphoria but my chesticals are uneven (okay Jerome TMI) and I don't have a binder AND I also have social anxiety AND I'm under alot of pressure at school because I am expected to be the best cellist in class and help my classmates with their problems soooooo yeah life is fun right now
Draco Malfoy I found my twin
Hey man, it’s been three years so I washed to know where your at now?
thats literally me, i hope youre in a better place now
I have a trans teacher (female -> male). Now I kinda know more about his situation- thanks! (This helped alot.)
I'm watching your videos and i have this "big sister" feeling. Like i want to hug you and promise everything will be all right. I've been through hard times aswell and i stood up for my own a thousand times while everyone else was watching, laughing at me and bullying me for who i am and what I do, how i dress or behave. When I see these videos i feel like i need to protect you and strengthen you up so we can fight the world together 😳
you are a REAL guy
my hair is pink and I've been thinking about making my hair a nice dark brown. but I still like my pink hair. I just thought it would help people think I'm a guy more.
You are not one of my favorite trans youtubers, you are one of my favorite youtubers. You've helped me through a lot. Thank you.
Kovu, its going to get better. yes it seems so far away right now but think in a few years you have have a chance of starting t! A chance is better then what your feeling now. And please, practice what you preach. You are worthy and valid. So many people look up to you and are feeling the same way you are. From what it sounds, you have people in your life who really care about you and love you. You are amazing and despite what pain you feel you go on and share it and thats so amazing and strong to me. If there is even a chance youve seen this i wanna say thanks and i hope u have an amazing day!
you should all check out the album “Transgender Dysphoria Blues“ by Against Me!. It is a great Punk Album about the MTF transition from the front leader. But maybe you all already know about it🙈
YOU ARE MY FAVOURITE TH-camR FULL STOP I LOVE YOU
Don't doubt your self Kovu
I just need to tell you that you are my everyday inspiration and thanks for making me feel like a part of this world. I love you.
Recently i started doing a lot of research cause i think i might be a trans guy, but actually i can't really relate to most people describing their expierence and that makes it very hard for me to figure out all the stuff, so thank you for that one
Buuuuuuuut i just came here to say that i know this is very old video of yours and follow you on your social media for some time and it just makes me so happy to see how far you have already gone with your transition now. Knowing that this little, sad boy from this video became a grown man, a lot happier with his life just puts a big smile on my face and gives me hope that some day i'll figure all my shit out and everything will be fine
I can't even express how sorry I am that you have to feel this way. I came here to educate myself more and now I really really want to give you all a big hug :(
Thank you for making this video. I’m a trans guy (ftm) about to get my first short haircut. And this video really made me feel like I’m not alone in the world
Ik probably a lot of people have said this to you because you're amazing but I just wanted to say I have been subscribed since like 1k (kind of long) and you are my absolute favourite youtuber! (and I watch a lottttt of youtube so) and I also relate to you a lot as recently I have been questioning my gender and i'm pretty sure i'm a boy and your videos have really helped me discover who I am. Idk if you'll ever read this but yeah ilyyyyyyy Kovu xx
Alex aww thank you so much for sticking around!! That comment really made me smile :D
I thought I was overdramatic, and obsessed with clothes
Turns out I was non-binary and was just trying to express that :/
This was SO relatable. I also deal with dysphoria the same way... Bottling it up and then eventually having a large mental breakdown. It really sucks. I feel you man.
We are all here for you Kovu. Forward is forward, no matter the speed. We all transition at different times. Hell, my biggest current dream is to wear a tie to a school concert. You're always here to give advice and reassurance. We are here to do the same.
Can you make a video on how it is to be a transguy in Norway? bareettforslag
angry_ghost_dolphin yeees!! 😍😍
Dysphoria is like being trapped in a huge box. You can't get out. Your stuck there forever. You can decorate your box to make it feel more better. More at home. But you still know your missing out. It's not the real world.
You are one of the best people I've ever seen. You are my favorite TH-camr. Not "TRANS" my favorite youtuber, itself. You are human not a species identified as "trans." You have helped me so much through finding my identity. I agree dysphoria sucks stale nuggets, but you have really helped struggles. I love you, and please know that you are the most significant influence in my life.
This was very informative.
I have a new friend who deals with dysphoria and I wanted to understand it better.
She talks to me about it, but the more information I can get the better I can accommodate her, and make sure she feels comfortable, safe, & accepted.
I accept her completely, so learning how to show that is very important to me.
FUCK. This was literally the video that sealed the deal for me that I was trans. Watching this 2 years later was surreal.
heyo kovu, i'm asher, a trans guy. i have body dysmorphic disorder (bdd) .. and let me just tell you, body dysmorphic disoder is real and it sucks. on top of gender dysphoria, too. it's a constant battle with my body, especially being a teen with anxiety disorder and having to deal with all the hormones and angst along with it. you make my dysphoria and anxiety go away a lil bit. thank you for never failing to make me smile (:
crowntheaj I'm sorry to hear you have to deal with all of that, stay strong! That last bit of your comment made me smile as well :3
I am non binary and when i get disphoric i like to read, draw, or just do something to detract myself, it makes me feel like a sense of dread or depression
I know this is super late but I do the same thing!
Vent art can be nice 😅 I don’t get that dysphoric compared to other people but hoodies are also amazing
You are AMAZING, Kovu. Way to be real with your feelings and show that there is human depth to the experience of LIFE! I know a transman and he has my heart. It is important to be true and seek truth, and you will attract people who only want the same. Thank you for helping to co-create an awake world.
I just came out to my friends and my mum and she said to wait till you’re 18 (I’m 15) to mature and see what I feel like then. But she also said the first step is cutting my hair, and I did. I miss my hair because it’s change (I have autism so it’s really difficult) but I also love my hair so...I also got my friends to start using male pronouns and using Max as my name. It’s difficult and emotional and if I do transition I hope my family and friends see me the same but just male. Thanks for letting me vent.
Hey, it’s been a year since your comment so I was wondering where your at now?
@@Tobys_Trains it’s been good. I’m gonna wait till I’m 20 (now 16) to do anything but I’m still getting my friends to use those pronouns and use my chosen name Ethan (changed it cause I love the name Ethan) thanks for wondering ☺️
@Riana Leegstra it’s been a lot better! I’m 17 and feel a lot more confident and happy about who I am! Thank you for asking!
I want you to know that you really inspire me and I love your videos and I think you're amazing 💕
Dysphoria: HEY dress more like a girl
Me: ok
The next day~
Dysphoria: wow ur rly dressing like that you look like a girl you aren't a girl wtf stop keep in touch with your masculine side
Me: oh... Ok.
Dysphoria: but like... Wear a dress...
Everytime you upload a video like this, it's like I hear myslef talking, I can relate SO FUCKING MUCH. It's really painful to watch but also relieving cause I know there are people feeling the exact same way and that is just so sad. You always say out loud what I think but don't say to anyone, so thank you, it makes me feel like I'm not alone
I get it too. I recently discovered I was trans and I just cut hair to look like a boy. Now people keep asking me if I'm transgender. My guts tell me to say yes but the voices in my head say no. I always go with the voices. I feel ashamed of who I am and I cry a lot. I'm only 12 years old but I have felt this all my life.
Same. I can literally see that I have a male brain.
I feel strange when I show emotions, I can just cry inside (one time I teared up, my reaction: "Hey, what the f**k is that?! A f****ng tear? Ur kidding motherf***er!")
Pretty strange reactions I have and a "colourful language", sometimes.
Plus I think like a male, behave(completely) and I will look like one soon.
I'm 12 too. But I know I'm a boy since 9. So, yeah.
Plus gender dysphoria... -_-
Hey, it’s been three years so I was wondering where your at now?
the first time I watched one of ur videos it was that creative ways to come out as gay one, and my first thought was "that is either a really masculine girl, or somewhat feminine guy" and I'll admit after watching a few more videos and figuring out u were trans, it's deffinately difficult for me to see someone whose trans as not their original gender, but at the same time they still fit the gender they see themselves as. Personally, if someone feels a certain way about their gender, I try my best to see them as the gender they identify as, no matter what my brain tells me, because it's respectful for the person. I'd never call someone who is trans "not a real guy" or "not a real girl" because it's rude to them, and it sucks that you have to go through people saying that to you Kovu
I've been narrating my life in third person in my head, using he/him and my chosen name (e.g. "Jake is walking down the street. He is happy because he is going to buy something at the shop.") It kinda helps me a bit but eh, maybe it will work for you?
I do the same thing. I thought I was the only one.
Thank you for giving such an honest, and personal description of something so painfully difficult
im agender and i have terrible disforia. and it really sucks. because i bind on my own way cause i cant let my parents know i have a real one. they dont even understand that im agender. my father still calls me she and his daughter but i hate it. and my mom still says she too. and at school especcially when people toutch me im worried they will know my secrets. and its terrible and disphoria and everythin.
NinjaAce13 YES I'm also agender and the disphoria hurts omg
Isn't agender just a fancy word for non binary?
I know this video is 3 years old, but I related so much to this. I ended up breaking down in tears people don't understand how we feel what it actually means to be transgender. People think we just chose to be the other gender, they don't realise the pain we actually feel and have felt for years before we even tell you what we are. We don't choose to have a life of medication and surgeries that could potentially put us at risk. We don't choose to hate our bodies and hate how other people see us. We don't choose this life lots just who we are and people don't see that they just see what we want you to see so thank you for making this video. I know no one will see this comment but I needed to get this out there.
I was scared to watch this video and not relate to it, but everything you said in this video, I felt like I’ve experienced it before.
Other than the actual pain, the emotional pain that goes through me seems to replace actual pain and with the same intensity, which is definitely not good for my mental health. I’ve lost hours and hours of sleep to the point where I’m sure I can add up all the lost hours to combine it into a whole day or two, or three, or four-
I’ve had dreams and nightmares about it, only to wake up with the same awful and disappointing reality that is Dysphoria.
The reason I was scared to not relate to it is because I have not officially been diagnosed with Dysphoria yet. I have yet to find myself a gender therapist in my area, and although I’m getting very close, the doubt is very much still there. But I was really happy to find out that this video was something I could relate to, as some kind of inner reassurance with myself.
Thank you Kovu. Love your vids ✨✨
You absolutely 100 percent described my experience. I’m 21 and just now taking my transition into my own hands, I completely understand how you feel like you’re losing your youth. I feel for you, I hope things get better for you soon. Thank you for making this video.
You're great Kovu :)
I just wanted to say thank you for making this video. I plan to show this to my mom because I am horrible with words and cannot describe what dysphoria feels like near as well as you did. Just thanks, and keep doing what you're doing (:
Just today I had this pang of dysphoria. It's like you read my mind. It just hurts, you know? I've spent 5 minutes trying to explain how it feels when it really hits me, but I come up empty. It just hurts.
aww!!!!!! talking doggo!!!!!!
Kovu, I can feel the pain cuz it's this side of the screen too. We love you and it's OK to let it out every now and then, you're just being real. It really helps knowing that we're not alone in this Lolol
I'm really lucky because my dysphoria is usually pretty mild (I'm lucky to have a small chest and I usually pass but not consistently enough), but I'm also kinda young and I feel such terrible anxiety about myself developing in a feminine manner and if I already have daily breakdowns due to dysphoria (mostly surrounding chest and voice), then I can't imagine what it'll be like later. I feel you so much on the medically transitioning part because conservatives are a thing and I'm basically just holding my breath until college where I can actually start transitioning (maybe). But we'll all get there and it'll be amazing??
I am a fiction writer. For a character situation in a novel, I decided to do some research and hear from the mouth of someone who knows the feeling of Dysphoria. What that feels like. The instant I saw you and heard you I knew and thought immediately that "This is a sweet guy." My first impulsive thought was that. Thank you so much for helping confirm that I was very much on the money for my writing. Kovu Kingsrod, you are a wonderful young man and I look forward to seeing the good you will bring to the world when you break free. You have the strength, you are worth it and the rest of the world is waiting as well. See you now and see you then.
I love your necklace 💙 Great video!
you are helping me so much rn. im still figuring out my gender and your videos is helping me. you make me happier, keep going and stay safe and always remember that we all have your back whenever it feels shit❤
LIFE SUCKS AS A TRANS!! I am FTM and I hate it because I am constantly trying to get away from things where boys and girls are separated because it's uncomfortable. I also heard that having a chest binder is kinda dangerous to have because it can get fluid in your lungs so can you tell me if that's true? Anyone who can relate to wanting to be a boy but is struggling please leave a like! 😜
I'm trans, too, and it really does suck. But I've been wearing a binder regularly for about two years now and I haven't noticed any negative effects. I haven't heard about anyone having lung problems because of their binder either. I don't think that would be the case. I really really hope that's not the case.
I think as long as you get the right size, don't wear a binder while you sleep, and take it off if it starts to hurt you should be fine. Those stories are pretty rare, and they are more likely to be cases where someone tried to bind with bandages or tape, which can be really dangerous. Hope this helped.
Same here I hate it when boys and girls are separated . I hate gender sepcific roles. I hate gender discrimination. I hate gender rigidity. I feel myself gender fluid
This video is so informative!! Thankyou, and I hope you feel better soon. Everything will be okay in the end ❤
Dysphoria sucks so much that sometimes during school I wanna curl up in a ball and cry in my bed
I cried with this video OMG I can’t tell you everything I want to tell you because I don’t speak English.... You are a man and you have a body that is usually related to a girl in people’ minds but that’s not always like that and there is nothing wrong with it! I know it’s too hard for you, I’m here to support you and you are my favorite TH-camr because your videos always show so deep things and you’re not as “fake” as other youtubers. You are very brave and you deserve all the love that exists in this world. I hope you can finally feel completely happy one day. I love you
Disphoria makes me feel like my heart is dropping
I think you did a great job on explaining what dysphoria feels like especially because it's something that is so hard to explain. As someone having to deal with some dysphoria I love that you shared your life to show that no one is alone. Thanks for making this video.
I'm a chick and I wanna just give a massive hug to this guy / girl I'm sorry if I sound weird I'm not trying to offend but I actually feel like really feel your pain don't worry I'm in the same dam boat
Kayla Coppe I'm a guy. :) But thanks, I'm sorry you have to deal with that
Kovu is a unicorn it's cool I'm exactly the same but just a chick is the only difference
He is a man, not a guy / girl
Sorry but yee he's a man
Kovu, thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I am trans and trying to find ways to explain everything to my mom and your video has been a huge help to me. I wish you the best, dude :)
Just because your trans doesn't mea you're not a 'normal' guy.... that made me ugh, I get some people don't get it but if they get it then screw them. Besides normal is boring. ^J^
Thanks for putting this out there. I know it's really hard to be vulnerable and I really appreciate your emotional honesty because it really did help me understand dysphoria more. You are truly brave and I hope things get better for you.
I feel like I'm lost in my mind when I look at myself in the mirror or when I'm in the shower I see "them" and it makes me feel uncomfortable with myself. I always wear baggy clothes to hide my chest as I feel dysphoric about it but it's not just my chest it's my height my voice and my hair. I'm about to come put to my mum as trans I don't know what she'll say but ill ask her to cut my hair if it goes well.
Thank you. I work with young people and want to increase my knowledge to ensure that I am supportive in situations that I have little experience in. Your video is extremely helpful. I really appreciate you taking the time to post and explain.
there is no such thing as normal
Bris vids
Being "weird" is NOT a bad thing!!!
Thank you for making this video. As a parent, it's very helpful. You are helping people understand a little more what soneone like my son FTM, is going through. You did a wonderful job speaking your truth, much love and happiness to you.
Can we just appreciate his accent for a second
You my friend are a top bloke. For a young fellow, you are so very mature and well spoken. Every single word you used to describe dysphoria is spot on. I am 23 years old ftm trans (trust me l feeeeeeel your pain when l say it) and l still havent got a binder and my family are SORT of starting to get the idea but still refer to me by my birth gender. Its like a pair of daggers each time l get referred to as my birth gender. There are good days and some bad ones. I love you and your videos man - believe it or not, your content makes me feel better and less alone so thanks mate :)
Jack Whitty thank you so much! Your comment means a lot I'm glad I make you feel a bit less alone, and I hope people start coming around soon (and that you'll be able to get a binder)! :)
in this video you look like dantdm back in the dimond dimension times
baby bean bruh true
Thanks for the vid, Kovu. After opening up to my family and having them still refer to me as the sex I don't see myself as, this came at just the right time... I'm real sorry for your struggle man, but it's reassuring to know I'm not alone.
I believe I am transgender but, dysphoria dose not hit me as hard. And it makes me feel like I should not, come out. But I read some transgenders don't have dysphoria.(or at least not as strong) Is this true?
And I am also dreadful at passing. But I'm getting some new clothing soon. I hope my dad doesn't say anything about me getting my clothes from the men's section.
some people say that you can be trans without dysphoria but scientifically it's not true. but even if your dysphoria is mild, if it's there then you're trans. it's not always hating your body, sometimes it's just the disconnect that you feel between yourself and your biological sex.
My dysphoria isn't very strong either, just a lot of repressed emotions, mostly I'm scared to feel dysphoria because my parents are very unsupportive and they matter to me and I don't want to let them down but... This feeling won't go away
4:03 rip my ears hahaha. Amazing video btw :)
And strange is better then normal, normal is boring :(
So just be yourself, you don't need to care about what people say.
You are good enough, you help so many people with this, even me.
Me watching these videos a couple years ago: oh ya same but I’m not trans-
Me now: hahaha So that was a lie-
This video is so inspirational. You are amazing and so strong for talking about something so personal like this. I want to give you a hug! I'm subscribing right now
(some) different types of dysphoria:
•bottom dysphoria is when u feel uncomfortable with your genitalia because you don't believe it's the 'right one'
•chest dysphoria is when you dislike how your chest looks because it doesn't relate to the gender you feel like you are
•social dysphoria is the discomfort you experience when someone calls you by the wrong pronouns/gender.
the rest, such as voice dysphoria, are pretty self explanatory
What if you have chest dysphoria? I do for my chest and hips
Hey Dude! Thankyou so so much for making this video, (I can see it was really hard!). It helped me to understand my friends and partner's dysphoria really helpfully, been following you for years and love your content. Thanks for being you!
kovu I need help my parents aren't supportive so they wont let me get a binder and I have dysphoria
Rosanne Staal tysm
Lady Noir ur welcome 🌈
Rosanne Staal I cannot find the app
You are an inspiring young man. Thank you for your videos.
you're the BestBoy
That Video was awesome. Thank you so much. It really hurt seeing you being sad like this, but I think that it’s important to make people aware of dysphoria and you explained everything so well.