Peaches talks about watching TH-cam videos for therapy… meanwhile I feel like watching this podcast is a form of therapy for me, as well as others I’m sure. I hope(and I’m sure they do) they realize they may not be professionals but they are helping so many people in life, including myself.
The amount of useful information I get from the two of you is incredible. I started watching the podcast a few days ago and began at your first video. I am constantly trying to work on all of the topics you guys discuss. I appreciate your realness without cruelty.
I'm medicated to where I struggled with my libido for many years. What brought me out of it were smutty romance novels. I actually am on higher dosages of these same meds these days, and my libido has not been effected due to my interest in these novels. It gives me spicy things to think about and reenact with my husband. Now my husband has trouble keeping up with me! I know of other women this has worked for too. Worth a try! All kinds of different spicy novels out there!
Just, thank you. I’ve binged your show for the last 3 days and I’ve learned so much, on things that I have been doing in my relationship that are wrong, and it encouraged me to take accountability and start making changes. Again. Thank you.
I think it’s beneficial for me watching these videos. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar 2, Borderline, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety and your podcasts help remind me to check my behavior and a lot of what you says applies to our lives and it’s been helping me be more mindful of how I’ve been talking to, treating and reacting to my boyfriend/ children’s father.
I am learning so much from each podcast. I listen any chance I get. Right now I am a sahm to a 9mo old, this is all so new to me. I got stuck in the mental exhaustion for a little while and this episode really helped pull me out of that. Between the just getting up and doing it and the sitting for more than 3 hours fact, I got my ass up and tackled stuff that needed to be done for months. I needed that wake up call. Thank you guys!! I can't wait to continue learning and eventually finally catch up to current content! 💛
Every episode you guys unlock a new door in healing my childhood trauma. Like when you were talking about allowing her man to decompress i thought "that is why i enjoy living alone, i ALWAY come home to a peaceful calm (safe) enviroment. That made me realize as a child i never felt safe at home. So now i always fear cohabiting with another human to be chaos and stressful.
It’s absolutely true about time management and cleaning! THINK about that, if you take everything else away. Your “hobbies” your “me time” If you realize how incredibly important being tidy is, you are not going to have so much trouble with cleaning! A tidy home is calming, welcoming and so enjoyable. Put the books, knitting, and phone etc aside for a few minutes and do something extra for yourself. Clean your space! ❤ 1:59:46
I have taken something from each of your podcasts that I have watched, and I first saw you guys on Tiktok where I tend to doom scroll and waste my time since I am currently on bed rest (I hate it--The doom scrolling and the bed rest). I love how much I am learning from you guys because you have helped me navigate trying to work on not only my relationship with my husband, but I have also managed to heal and set boundaries with people in my family that have caused me severe trauma, including completely going no-contact with my own mother for safety reasons for myself and my son and the baby we now have on the way. Thank you guys for being you. Your podcasts also tend to not be JUST heavy emotion, there are so many Glimmers and wholesome moments as well as the things that may trigger people. There are very few moments watching your videos where I haven't felt lighter in my healing my heavy emotional BS AND especially if I was upset or angry prior to watching, I always walk away feeling better. Thank you guys for putting out your content and for being you.
I read some comments from other people and it just reminded me that I make sure that when my partner comes home, I always wait for him outside and great him out of the car. I do that because we get two minutes of just us to hold each other before we go inside and do family stuff. I love that part of us.
Love what you guys are doing for people including myself so please keep it up. Thankfully some real raw but intelligent conversations that need to be had.
I don’t have much to give, but I wanted to just say thank you guys for being who you are. Home Life has been hard and we have been working on ourselves and our relationship, a lot of things you say hit me hard and makes me cry or tear up almost ever episode I listen to (I also want to add I work overnight and that’s when I listen to your episodes) but I really do think you guys are helping me in alot of ways. I am addicted to listening to your podcasts and I am definitely working on implementing some of the advice that you give in my everyday life.
Yalls videos have been so helpful for me. Ive been stuck in the victim mindset for a few years, and have been steadily pulling out of it because Ive gotten to the point where im sick of it, and want to step up for myself and for others. A few months ago I wouldve been offended by what alot of what you guys have said about depression and relationships, but now it has only been incredibly inspiring and empowering. Dealing with my trauma and issues head on lately and being realistic as to how Ive been intentionally holding myself back have changed so much. Im 21 and I can for sure feel some nuerons connecting when watching you guys. Also, Peaches, you have given me so much more confidence with my voice and way of speaking. As a kid and teen I always tried to make my voice a little higher and speak with extra enthusiasm because I was insecure of it being a bit lower than other girls, but watching you I saw yours as so ig sulty and measured and just overall wise sounding. I always saw mine as flat and boring and tried to compensate, but really it was just my insecurity masking a really cool sounding tone. ALSO YOUR HAIR ROCKS!!! Anyway, thank you guys for this content, its truly inspiring and enlightening.
Wow so I just cleaned my entire apartment (not including my roommates room or bathroom. Did laundry, made the bed, cleaned and put away dishes (my roommate leaves out dishes sometimes I don’t because I don’t want bugs), put away laundry (hanging them up and folding them etc, organized bedside tables, took out the trash, all while listening to your podcasts. Insane about of productivity for me (I find it hard to get motivated for things a lot) and I learned things from your podcast too. I’m on a roll 😂
I found you both on TikTok and I adore your videos and views on traditional marriage. That is what I grew up with and in my generation (yours), growing up with my parents still married was an anomoly among my friends, so dating was very hard because most men (boys really lol) in my age range did not have that example to learn from. But I wanted to say, when you were talking about the woman who was diagnosed as bi-polar after years or marriage and after the diagnosis it made things worse for her. Chris stated that the diagnosis should make things better, but as someone who was diagnosed as an adult with ADHD, while the diagnosis did help me, it also made things worse for a period because I had masked for so many years, that after the diagnosis I began to let the masks down and that made the symptoms and quirks worse for a time because I did not hold so tight to hiding it, and that in itself was a HUGE anxiety relief. Maybe bi-polar symptoms are the same in that she masked the issues so long that the diagnosis allowed her to begin to let go of some of those masks, and in return worse symptoms. Just my observation. You guys are amazing :)
listen im TRYING to share this, but every SINGLE person i've tried to introduce this podcast to has already heard of you and already learned something haha thank you for teaching us and making lives better
BPD is a hell of a mental disorder to live with, both for the person that has it and the people around them. My sister has it, and she's doing very well, her relationships are better then expected like for example shes been with a good man now for a year and a bit. She's got a good relationship with our mother and grandmother. She is still struggling alot because she is still young but I'm so proud of her for taking the steps to deal with it instead of just living with it. She already has done alot of work and has to put in a ton more. However I'm looking forward to the day when my sister and I can get over our childhood and have a better relationship. We both remind each other of a very very painful time. She was hateful towards me so I was too. Things weren't good between us and our parents didn't help, they always created tension and conflict between us and abused us in many ways. When I see her I can only think of the little girl that was there for all of the worst times of my life, and same with her. I'm 5 years older so I've matured more, and I've put in alot of work towards becoming a better person, dealing with my bipolar disorder and living a normal life with autism. Getting over my addiction too was a big thing. But I'm honestly hopeful for the future when it comes to my sister. If BPD was more known 10 years ago my sister would have been diagnosed early and treated younger. But it isn't too late for anything. I love my sister, and I'll never put her down for her BPD.
To the Emailer who is depressed and looking into becoming a PSW as a PSW in Ontario I urge you to take some caution. This job can be really rough on your mental health and if you are feeling isolated and then form attachments to your clients when they pass you might have a very hard time with that. Just my two cents. Good luck to you.
Can I just point out.. im so proud for you guys y’all have come such a long way with the channel in such a short time frame (looking at the camera picture and room and detailing) love that for y’all ❤❤❤
I grew up with bpd. Was diagnosed at 13 but believed I already was diagnoseable at the age of 8 if not earlier. My mom hated me for who I was. Gave up on me as I was going through puberty and at the age of 15 I ended up on the street trying to fend for myself. Ended up in an extremely abusive relationship with an addict and became an addict myself. DBT changed a lot for me. Finally 22 and getting a handle in my life, in my first healthy and long term relationship. Praying for this kid
I really value y'all trying to not swear for Chris' mothers sake, but I also find it hilarious that you only made it 4 minutes in because boy is it relatable.
As a former CNA, I can honestly say I knew exactly what you meant and I still laughed. Such a wholesome slip! And honestly, if you're in the field with Adults with developmental delays? A nerds aide may be a closer, better, and funnier job description than what I normally hear! Thank you for that laugh Peach! I needed that today
Yeah, I am late in commenting on this but I just came across your channel through one of your shorts that brought me to this podcast video. I listened to every scenario in the emails and comments read to me (us). I found bits and pieces to each that I can relate to and have taken to heart, soul and mind the suggestions that you two have presented to not just me but everyone who has viewed this. Thank you so much for being objective, unbiased and raw here.. Too many times people come to view podcasts for validation and validation only. Newsflash viewers!!! You have come to the wrong channel. Not going to happen here, and thank goodness for that. People in our society these days are looking for validation and justification to continue the enabling of toxic behavior and that is just sad and extremely dangerous. Your channel is where these people and those who come here truly trying to find a way to improve themselves and help those around them become their best selves NEED TO BE! Love you two for this. And Keep it going.
Started watching you guys because of my older sister she's 27, I'm 24❤️ we both have our own families now and are just looking to be better . love how u guys treat each other 🥺 watching your videos from the first video and I'm here now ♥️🫶🏻 learning and taking everything in . Can't wait to watch the latest videos of y'all and see how far u guys have gone .
I am newly married and my best friend and her husband (my husband's best friend) are going through really tough times and have dove into fixing what they need to in order to be better. I jumped in to listen because I fully feel like there is stuff that I can do better and take away what I can as a newlywed. Thank you for what you do!
I’ve learned soooo much in the last few days from you guys’ podcast and truly appreciate your insights. I’ve been in my relationship for 3 years.. We bought a house together in august and I find myself wanting to apply a lot of your advice! One outlier for me that I want to share is that my boyfriend and I moved in together 2 months in and although it did work out for us.. I definitely wouldn’t recommend doing that normally, as you guys said.. I definitely think about how things would have been if we had courted for a year. Thanks for shedding so much light on the importance of communication and intention in long term relationships and marriages!
I actually had a guy in the gym help me and guide me. I didnt know him, he didn't know me, but he took the time to help me. And I will be forever grateful for that.
Wow! I didn’t realize how badly I needed to hear the hard truth y’all were giving to the depressed mom reading books to avoid house chores & reality. I’m single, live alone with my dog, live 45 minutes from my brother & 13 hours from the rest of my family so I self isolate A LOT! I moved out of my “home” state of Alabama 9 months ago & found home in Wisconsin. I work from home full time & haven’t put forth effort to go out & make friends. As an adult this is more intimidating than I thought it would be. All these excuses have led me to having some really dark days & thoughts, days I won’t get out of bed, I won’t shower or brush my teeth, & I’ll fall behind on house chores at times. Because I’m a very, very clean & organized person, when the house gets messy it only makes my dark cloud worse. I need routine in order for me to function so when I allow myself to be lazy for one day… one day turns into 2 weeks. I have a husky so I don’t like to fall behind on house chores or else my apartment becomes a big fur ball. It is hard, but I’ve just got to do it… she says as she’s cleaning & listening. 😊
I had to rewind that back to make sure I heard you right when you said she said “they’ve literally gone on one date in the 13 years we’ve been together.” I really hope she’s being dramatic! 2:20:27
I've been listening to the podcasts while I'm working and driving. Now I'm watching for the first time on here. I'm getting so much from these, thank you guys. 💜
Just wanted to say that I just started following y’all’s TH-cam from tik tok. I love all the advice you guys give, and as a women who has been married for 10 years I still find value and have even had my eyes open from topics you guys discuss. Just wanted to say I appreciate you guys and love the content and thank you for tryin to make us all better ❤
As someone with adhd, executive dysfunction is a serious problem. So starting chores is VERY hard. It's not even about not wanting to do chores. I can't just say in my head that I have only 3 tasks. Those 3 tasks is really 45 in my head and its a lot. It's overwhelming. I sympathies with her on that. That being said, the dishes don't stop piling up just because I struggle to start them.
For the lady struggling to stay on top of stuff.. I use the sweepy app. Most of my cleaning has to be on the weekends now cause I work 2 jobs.. but when I wasn't this app was so worth it to me. The way my brain works I like lists and being able to mark that I've done something. It seems silly but it works, and a little a day goes a long way! The premium version is $12 for the entire year but if you are anything like me.. it will help:)
Also. Not everything has to be done in a day. Force yourself to just clean for a half hour. You may feel motivated to do more once you start. You may not. Do a half hour every day, more on the better days. If it feels like too much just do one thing at a time. Like pick up the kids garbage etc. I honestly feel like once you start doing smaller steps you'll just feel motivated to take more on. That's how I have to go about it when My depression kicks in.
Toni Thank you for this. I use hand written notes for my ADHD with cleaning. I totally downloaded this app like 5 mins ago. I think you may have made my week Girl.
I come from a very broken and toxic house hold I never went to get diagnosed for anything until I started to get arrest at 13 and then I was diagnosed with so much stuff and never got the help I needed to learn how to cope with them until now I have recently realized that I have been letting all of that change who I am to who I didn’t want to be. I am completely changing that around now I don’t want my daughter to grow up the way I did I want her to have a better childhood then I did
I actually started paying for my account just so I can lock my screen and be productive while listening to you guys! I have been so triggered and have worked through so much because of you both!
When you spoke about the small intimacy things that are thousands of words, I just wanted to state something that came to mind after y'all made points on that. I have had a really hard time with anyone touching my back or shoulders since I was 11 due to three surgeries that saved my life. I have gotten a bit better over the last few years, because I also shied away from hugs. My mother loves hugs, and it hurt to see her sad after I rejected her love language. Unfortunately, there is still pain when I do accept hugs, I try for her, though. However, after I met my boyfriend last year and he began to understand everything that goes along with my aversion to touch, my back hasn't been as much of an issue. I used to feel physical pain when someone touched my back/shoulders, but now I crave when he rests his hand on my back and shoulders. The pain doesn't appear when it's his touch. I just thought that it was curious and now think that it's a little silly that after isolating myself for so long, I crave touch and simply absolutely love listening to his heartbeat when we cuddle.
A coworker of mine saw me struggling with my insecurities with myself and my relationship so much so I was jealous of her just being there and existing around my man. He’s never ever done anything to break my trust but I have past traumas with relationships and I’ve worked through most. But trust is a big thing, and even though he doesn’t do anything to break that for me, I still almost half expect it at anytime. Anyways, after listening to the full first episode I spoke with her and told her how I was jealous and we laughed about it. 3 months ago, a year ago, 2-3-4 years ago I would’ve been ridden with insane jealousy and would’ve never spoke to her about it and voiced the feelings I had. So having had that conversation with her just because you guys talked about how past traumas aren’t other peoples problems (you are absolutely right and I knew that, I just have issues not projecting and am doing a much better job at working on it now that I have you guys in my ear at work talking about these things), it has made me feel so much better and I’ve genuinely started a friendship with her. Having moved on from my stupid jealousy, I see how nice of a person she is. And thanks to her, you guys are all I listen to while I’m at work and I cannot get enough of you guys. Once I get the time this weekend, I plan on sending a thank you email with more details to show how much you’ve helped improve my outlook on my very happy relationship and how to look in on myself to make myself better for me, and my boyfriend.
I can say as a man hearing this from a outside prospective helps soo much. Im only 1 week into finding you. I realize i need help but its hard to find someone who understands the hard parts of life. All the ones ive found are these feminin men. Like how the fuck can you feel my pain in the trifecta (emotional self hate, physical pain from army and mental damage). But like you say 1% a day a week or a year is soemthing. Ive haf to tell the VA like I cant quit. Im not going to be a pos sitting at home and I cant take the pay cut from trucking to a desk job. But as a guy you guys have helped my understanding alot ❤
How often are you both compromising? I hear a lot of her compromising but would love to hear more of Chris Compromising!! I love hearing these things!!
My wife’s birthday is Dec 07 and she is a huge fan of all things surrounding Pearl Harbor. That’s one thing I know can be a “Free date winner” , dinner, popcorn and either the movie Pearl Harbor or any documentary about it. It doesn’t take much to make her smile!
You two have helped me phrase things so much better to my girlfriend that it makes life so much easier for both of us. Thank you. I love you both. God bless.
1:26:59 It isn’t necessarily things her mom did but BPD is largely caused by trauma experienced as a young child and usually at the hands of someone the child has a close relationship with and trusts. Knowing that, it’s safe to say her mom likely was causing and/or enabling trauma to occur.
That "gentlemen downgrade their meals because their woman ordered a $35 meal" hit home. I've definitely done this, and why i ask her what she wants before I give her what I ordered.
@2 Be Better working my way to emailing yall soon. I'm trying to catch up on the podcasts first. Some other emails have helped with my personal life as well.
I just wanted to say that if you ever feel like you are repeating a point, i am the kind of person for some reason i need something to be explained to me 5 times in 5 different ways till i finally get it. Like for some reason i learn differently to others and some concepts, despite my best efforts, can take a while for me to grasp. Ive had instances were someone has expalined how to do a task 3 times and i didnt get it, they got frustrated and then drew it being sarcastic but it worked and it clicked in my head and i was like, got it boss and i was fine after that. Im loving that you guys keep bringing up accountability because that is something that i am working on for some reason im having a huge issue on figuring out how to apply it, i dont know why but i know im 99% there and i just need that little 1% for it to click and ive unlocked a new skill set. So please, if you guys ever feel like its a waste to keep making the same point remember there are people like me who actually bennefit from hearing the same message from different perspectives. Im telling you want to do by any means but its not a waste of breath for you to revisit topics and i personally apprciate it. :)
I can't get enough I've been listening here, Spotify, and TikTok and my friends and I suggested y'all to my friend at work with couple issues ❤y'all are healing me
Oh YEAH?!?! YOU GONNA START RUNNING YOUR MOUTH?! LOOK HERE, PAL! If you think you can just DISH out the same energy of these people talking shit, you're 1000% right! You can and SHOULD. Public discourse is in the shitter and we NEED to clap back. Not only THAT, but the way you two are trying to help people with some ACTUAL common sense is BEAUTIFUL! People NEED this stuff. So you MAKE these podcast episodes and you TALK shit right back to haters. And if you think i won't straight-up WATCH that shit and enjoy you guys' company, you're OUT OF YOUR MIND!
My husband and I are currently trying to get custody of my stepdaughter for the exact reason. Her bio mom is very vindictive, flat out claims she is a compulsive liar. She hasn’t really been present in our daughters life for 3 years. 3 years I have been a mom to her and I couldn’t be more happy to get her out of that situation after seeing the place and the amount of neglect both physically and mentally. I put her in therapy to help deal with her trauma because she is so little got her when she was 4 and she will be 7 soon. She is so much better now than she was when we got her. I love her to the moon and back. Nobody could tell me that’s not my baby girl she walks, talks, and acts just like me. Being a step parent is the best decision I ever made. Even when it’s hard. I even downloaded y’all’s pdf on how to do check ins with the kids. Which speaks to her love language of words of affirmation and quality time. Thank you guys for helping me better myself, better my marriage, and better my relationship with my children. ❤ you guys. You guys are making huge changes in so many peoples lives and being supportive.
so, i’m starting from the beginning and watching this podcast and i’m not sure if this comment will be seen BUT with the keys situation. I feel like i’d be torn because I’d do what she did and leave.. but inside i’d feel like it’s unfair and i’d have a hard time sorting through which person should compromise. As i’m typing this i’m realizing the only reason i feel that way is because in my experience id compromise and wouldn’t get what did she afterwards.. which is an effort to still have a good time on the way home. In my experience some people, even family can’t get outside of their selves and if i wanted to stop on the way home they would say no because they’re in a bad mood still and not considering me. i will let that go and stop projecting that onto my partner. so nevermind i just figured it out lol, thank you for helping me understand
I have been struggling so hard with cleaning and picking myself up to be able to do things because everything is so overwhelming but you're absolutely right, if I just got down to it despite how messy my room is I know I could knock it out in like 6 hours (with small breaks to eat and use the bathroom and stuff). I could. If I just assign little tasks I can do it
Hey Chris, for me, I use to swear way more too! I was like you, my sponsor shared with me, if you are on a spiritual journey, there is no place for profanity. " lack of profanity will offend no one" and profanity is a lack of spiritual values." Lol it soo hard to be aware of doing it. I slowed down my speaking, so.i can be more clear, which has made me aware.
Same except with the story about the step mom who had to deal with the 10-year old who hated her. Like I'm keeping myself up just to find it and I can't find it yet. Edit not that anyone cares: but I found the story I was looking for it was after they came back from a break. 1:16:28
22min in and WOW! I'm an over talker, I will over explain and over talk A LOT. But the way yall explained it...just made sense. I just need to communicate the basics. And like Chris said, if we need to have a convo later about it, that's fine. Timing is so important 👌
16:12 wow. This gave me chills. I’ve said this many times before about my ex-husband, and I even said it proudly. Anything to keep him okay, because it’s far worse for me if he’s not. I’d happily give up any part of myself if it meant peace. 🚩
It’s called a foodie call when a person, despite their lack of romantic attraction to someone, agrees to go on a date just to get a free meal. I had to google it after you guys mentioned it because I was interested
I'm really struggling right now with not being able to keep up consistently right now. I have tears in my Achilles and I can only be up for 10-15 mins at a time then I'm down for a little bit. My husband thankfully understands and keeps telling me to take it easy. I feel so conflicted about it because I want to be doing more. He works so hard as an airplane mechanic and now he's having to help take the load off for me. I'm not sure how to get past the guilty feeling
I just wanted to say I found y’all on tiktok and heard you had a podcast here on TH-cam. I have watched y’all NONSTOP since. I told my husband about it and because he travels for work, working 15-18 hour days, he can’t just sit and listen BUT he does watch yalls tiktoks. In three days our communication and the way we speak to each other has changed drastically. I feel like I know y’all and are already apart of my life 😂 I love it. I love listening to y’all and I appreciate y’all for doing this, not just for me but for everyone that is taking what they need from these conversations. 🤍🤍
I know this is an old video, but I wanted to comment and say that the question of "are you safe at home" is now standard practice at Dr appointment, and they will ask it even if there is someone else in the room.
YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!! STOP being the victim by owning yourself, OWN your thoughts, feelings and reactions and GROW so you are never a victim again! Aka in short you need to get over it. YES it is HARD work! I was mentally & verbally abused,1 physical altercation. BUT I looked at the situation and worked to recognize the red flags so that I can avoid those situations
Me and my husband went to a 2 day music festival a couple of years ago. His feet started killing him before the two djs he really wanted to see. He knew how excited I was to be there and make those memories with him and I wasn't ready to leave and asked if we could sit down until his two favorite acts went on. I said absolutely. When the first person went on amd he didn't get up, I asked if he was ready to back to the hotel and watch movies. He wanted to wait a little longer, we did. Halfway through that set he still hadn't moved and I asked him again. We left early. He was in so much pain. I'm not going to stay somewhere or make him stay when he is miserable. That isn't love. That's selfishness.
This episode hits home. Even though we are weeks apart on scenarios this past weekend was a total bust for my sons birthday trip and we let emotions get us on the way home and it was just a whole negative 5 stars for me he said he didn't like his birthday. So bummer but fixable. That I need to remind myself when things are fixable and to recognize what I have control of. And I 100% wish we would have courted. We jumped in 3 weeks and a few days into a courthouse and sealed the deal. ( I have had a crush on him since I was 9-he was the bad boy at church -whole story there lol 🤣) so please people take the timeeee. But you gotta be strong if you're gonna be stupid right lol I kid but we are definitely trying. We are going on 6 years of crazy but constant lol and there's a lot of things we should have done well before now. I am also super on top of its not sincere if there's no"I" before love you lol This economy is definitely crap and two incomes is the only way things work smoothly for us and it was hard as hell for him to swallow his pride and admit life works better when we both work because he would love to be the sole provider and things flow the same but its not reality. I'd much rather share the load though instead of him getting a second job and never having time. It was hard lesson but I also love going to work so it's a win-win that comes with some misunderstanding sometimes for sure. But I also love that one way or another our kids have a parent present while we build and that's a huge deal. I had ppd bad which was the grossest my life has been but I also adhd clean which gets annoying but I have been re teaching myself to function in the best way for all of us. However , now I have Thursday and Fridays where both my kids are at school and I watch these and clean the f×k out my house and it's the best reset of peace. All I needed was these 2 days a week to totally reset my routine and the rest of the week is so much easier than it used to be. ON TOP of getting the dopest life advice at the same time so thank you. I think the jar of life lesson is important to remember always. "if you start with putting sand into the jar, you will not have room for rocks or pebbles" www.iamnirmal.com/post/jar-of-life-a-valuable-lesson-for-a-happier-life#:~:text=The%20metaphor%20here%20is%20that,things%20that%20are%20actually%20important. I sorta felt like her once but also that's where the accountability comes in and you gotta get that shit down and ask for help if you need it. Mindset is everything. Work helped a ton when I was needing to just breathe and be a human outside the household. People forget they were solo once and self care has to happen. This is a long comment sorry lol My comments may end up part of my notes lol it's easier to keep it together this way so if so please don't hate me lol it's for when I go back through lol I am recognizing some self sabotage and victim mentality because My husband uses that word constantly and it boils my blood but I know I need to dive into that after watching these
Good job four minutes 😂 I know my comments are delayed but I’m watching podcast episodes in order. Although I don’t always agree with things said you two have sparked soo many conversations with myself and stuff I’ve started silently improving my relationship. So thank you for your opinions😊
I think it’s hard bc and people end up accumulating a lot of stuff in their homes and maybe it’s another partner or person in the house that doesn’t want to get rid of stuff which then makes it even harder to clean. That definitely happens in my house and you get so overwhelmed because you don’t know what to do with your partner stuff that you kind of give up and just clean around it. Or if you have been depressed before you listen to one of these videos, you may have a huge undertaking. Cleaning a little bit every day has definitely helped me, but I still find it hard to keep to a schedule.
Its crazy how basic people will try cutting others down for wanting to be something instead of just being another cog in the machine.. random nobodies have became amazing because they never stopped chasing their dream and they didnt listen to those basic people who dont have dreams. If anyone is telling you that trying to be great at something is stupid it just tells you they are jealous that they arent talented so dont let them stop you❤❤❤ but make sure your shit is taken care of while trying to reach your dreams. Don't neglect everything else in the process ❤❤❤
I just wanna throw in my 2 cents on the whole "independent women, but wanna be a stay-at-home wife or mom": if you wanna be independent, but wanna spend your significant other's money, you are no longer independent, and cannot complain about being dependent
In the email where they’re talking abt being asked if op feels safe returning home at a drs appt, that’s something they ask at almost every drs appt and/or procedure. At least in the state of Texas lol I get asked that at my yearly obgyn and my mom literally just had an endoscopy yesterday and they asked that w/ me in the room.
2:12:37 When you guys were talking about the friends that you make not having opposite sex friends I really resonated with that. We tried to make a couple friend with our neighbor my husband got along with the wife more and they got extremely close so close that it caused an emotional affair.
Peaches talks about watching TH-cam videos for therapy… meanwhile I feel like watching this podcast is a form of therapy for me, as well as others I’m sure.
I hope(and I’m sure they do) they realize they may not be professionals but they are helping so many people in life, including myself.
Yep same for me to the videos have been helping. I had such a good day at work and we all worked as a team...anyways, these video's helped so much.
please add timestamps for every topic for the example for the 10 year old girl with a psychologal disorder
Did you find out where it was?
@@iamsotiredofliving 1:18:27 took me awhile lol
@@rivershaleyyou rock
@@rivershaleythanks!
@@rivershaleyfreaking mvp
The amount of useful information I get from the two of you is incredible. I started watching the podcast a few days ago and began at your first video. I am constantly trying to work on all of the topics you guys discuss. I appreciate your realness without cruelty.
Me too!
I'm medicated to where I struggled with my libido for many years. What brought me out of it were smutty romance novels. I actually am on higher dosages of these same meds these days, and my libido has not been effected due to my interest in these novels. It gives me spicy things to think about and reenact with my husband. Now my husband has trouble keeping up with me! I know of other women this has worked for too. Worth a try! All kinds of different spicy novels out there!
Just, thank you. I’ve binged your show for the last 3 days and I’ve learned so much, on things that I have been doing in my relationship that are wrong, and it encouraged me to take accountability and start making changes. Again. Thank you.
I think it’s beneficial for me watching these videos. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar 2, Borderline, PTSD, Depression and Anxiety and your podcasts help remind me to check my behavior and a lot of what you says applies to our lives and it’s been helping me be more mindful of how I’ve been talking to, treating and reacting to my boyfriend/ children’s father.
Yes to the “I love you”. I don’t say it unless I’m feeling it. It’s gotta be deep for me. It’s never just words.
I am learning so much from each podcast. I listen any chance I get. Right now I am a sahm to a 9mo old, this is all so new to me. I got stuck in the mental exhaustion for a little while and this episode really helped pull me out of that. Between the just getting up and doing it and the sitting for more than 3 hours fact, I got my ass up and tackled stuff that needed to be done for months. I needed that wake up call. Thank you guys!! I can't wait to continue learning and eventually finally catch up to current content! 💛
Every episode you guys unlock a new door in healing my childhood trauma. Like when you were talking about allowing her man to decompress i thought "that is why i enjoy living alone, i ALWAY come home to a peaceful calm (safe) enviroment. That made me realize as a child i never felt safe at home. So now i always fear cohabiting with another human to be chaos and stressful.
It’s absolutely true about time management and cleaning! THINK about that, if you take everything else away.
Your “hobbies” your “me time” If you realize how incredibly important being tidy is, you are not going to have so much trouble with cleaning!
A tidy home is calming, welcoming and so enjoyable. Put the books, knitting, and phone etc aside for a few minutes and do something extra for yourself. Clean your space! ❤ 1:59:46
I have taken something from each of your podcasts that I have watched, and I first saw you guys on Tiktok where I tend to doom scroll and waste my time since I am currently on bed rest (I hate it--The doom scrolling and the bed rest). I love how much I am learning from you guys because you have helped me navigate trying to work on not only my relationship with my husband, but I have also managed to heal and set boundaries with people in my family that have caused me severe trauma, including completely going no-contact with my own mother for safety reasons for myself and my son and the baby we now have on the way. Thank you guys for being you. Your podcasts also tend to not be JUST heavy emotion, there are so many Glimmers and wholesome moments as well as the things that may trigger people. There are very few moments watching your videos where I haven't felt lighter in my healing my heavy emotional BS AND especially if I was upset or angry prior to watching, I always walk away feeling better. Thank you guys for putting out your content and for being you.
I read some comments from other people and it just reminded me that I make sure that when my partner comes home, I always wait for him outside and great him out of the car. I do that because we get two minutes of just us to hold each other before we go inside and do family stuff. I love that part of us.
Love what you guys are doing for people including myself so please keep it up. Thankfully some real raw but intelligent conversations that need to be had.
I don’t have much to give, but I wanted to just say thank you guys for being who you are. Home Life has been hard and we have been working on ourselves and our relationship, a lot of things you say hit me hard and makes me cry or tear up almost ever episode I listen to (I also want to add I work overnight and that’s when I listen to your episodes) but I really do think you guys are helping me in alot of ways. I am addicted to listening to your podcasts and I am definitely working on implementing some of the advice that you give in my everyday life.
Yalls videos have been so helpful for me. Ive been stuck in the victim mindset for a few years, and have been steadily pulling out of it because Ive gotten to the point where im sick of it, and want to step up for myself and for others. A few months ago I wouldve been offended by what alot of what you guys have said about depression and relationships, but now it has only been incredibly inspiring and empowering. Dealing with my trauma and issues head on lately and being realistic as to how Ive been intentionally holding myself back have changed so much. Im 21 and I can for sure feel some nuerons connecting when watching you guys. Also, Peaches, you have given me so much more confidence with my voice and way of speaking. As a kid and teen I always tried to make my voice a little higher and speak with extra enthusiasm because I was insecure of it being a bit lower than other girls, but watching you I saw yours as so ig sulty and measured and just overall wise sounding. I always saw mine as flat and boring and tried to compensate, but really it was just my insecurity masking a really cool sounding tone. ALSO YOUR HAIR ROCKS!!! Anyway, thank you guys for this content, its truly inspiring and enlightening.
Being independent SUCKS I could be. Absolutely all of us COULD. I'd rather make my man's lunch than go grind 2 jobs away from our kids😅
Wow so I just cleaned my entire apartment (not including my roommates room or bathroom. Did laundry, made the bed, cleaned and put away dishes (my roommate leaves out dishes sometimes I don’t because I don’t want bugs), put away laundry (hanging them up and folding them etc, organized bedside tables, took out the trash, all while listening to your podcasts. Insane about of productivity for me (I find it hard to get motivated for things a lot) and I learned things from your podcast too. I’m on a roll 😂
I found you both on TikTok and I adore your videos and views on traditional marriage. That is what I grew up with and in my generation (yours), growing up with my parents still married was an anomoly among my friends, so dating was very hard because most men (boys really lol) in my age range did not have that example to learn from. But I wanted to say, when you were talking about the woman who was diagnosed as bi-polar after years or marriage and after the diagnosis it made things worse for her. Chris stated that the diagnosis should make things better, but as someone who was diagnosed as an adult with ADHD, while the diagnosis did help me, it also made things worse for a period because I had masked for so many years, that after the diagnosis I began to let the masks down and that made the symptoms and quirks worse for a time because I did not hold so tight to hiding it, and that in itself was a HUGE anxiety relief. Maybe bi-polar symptoms are the same in that she masked the issues so long that the diagnosis allowed her to begin to let go of some of those masks, and in return worse symptoms. Just my observation. You guys are amazing :)
listen im TRYING to share this, but every SINGLE person i've tried to introduce this podcast to has already heard of you and already learned something haha thank you for teaching us and making lives better
Thanks for that!
BPD is a hell of a mental disorder to live with, both for the person that has it and the people around them. My sister has it, and she's doing very well, her relationships are better then expected like for example shes been with a good man now for a year and a bit. She's got a good relationship with our mother and grandmother. She is still struggling alot because she is still young but I'm so proud of her for taking the steps to deal with it instead of just living with it. She already has done alot of work and has to put in a ton more. However I'm looking forward to the day when my sister and I can get over our childhood and have a better relationship. We both remind each other of a very very painful time. She was hateful towards me so I was too. Things weren't good between us and our parents didn't help, they always created tension and conflict between us and abused us in many ways. When I see her I can only think of the little girl that was there for all of the worst times of my life, and same with her. I'm 5 years older so I've matured more, and I've put in alot of work towards becoming a better person, dealing with my bipolar disorder and living a normal life with autism. Getting over my addiction too was a big thing. But I'm honestly hopeful for the future when it comes to my sister. If BPD was more known 10 years ago my sister would have been diagnosed early and treated younger. But it isn't too late for anything. I love my sister, and I'll never put her down for her BPD.
To the Emailer who is depressed and looking into becoming a PSW as a PSW in Ontario I urge you to take some caution. This job can be really rough on your mental health and if you are feeling isolated and then form attachments to your clients when they pass you might have a very hard time with that. Just my two cents. Good luck to you.
You two are such a comfort for me to listen to, especially when I can’t sleep. Normal people are out there.
I LOVE watching Khrys’ face when she gets flustered! 😂😂😂
Can I just point out.. im so proud for you guys y’all have come such a long way with the channel in such a short time frame (looking at the camera picture and room and detailing) love that for y’all ❤❤❤
I grew up with bpd. Was diagnosed at 13 but believed I already was diagnoseable at the age of 8 if not earlier. My mom hated me for who I was. Gave up on me as I was going through puberty and at the age of 15 I ended up on the street trying to fend for myself. Ended up in an extremely abusive relationship with an addict and became an addict myself. DBT changed a lot for me. Finally 22 and getting a handle in my life, in my first healthy and long term relationship. Praying for this kid
Just listening to y’all’s podcast has helped my mindset and thought process so much
I absolutely adore you two and you’ve helped me and my boyfriend understand each other better in our relationship. I can’t thank you enough.
I really value y'all trying to not swear for Chris' mothers sake, but I also find it hilarious that you only made it 4 minutes in because boy is it relatable.
As a former CNA, I can honestly say I knew exactly what you meant and I still laughed. Such a wholesome slip! And honestly, if you're in the field with Adults with developmental delays? A nerds aide may be a closer, better, and funnier job description than what I normally hear! Thank you for that laugh Peach! I needed that today
Yeah, I am late in commenting on this but I just came across your channel through one of your shorts that brought me to this podcast video. I listened to every scenario in the emails and comments read to me (us). I found bits and pieces to each that I can relate to and have taken to heart, soul and mind the suggestions that you two have presented to not just me but everyone who has viewed this. Thank you so much for being objective, unbiased and raw here.. Too many times people come to view podcasts for validation and validation only. Newsflash viewers!!! You have come to the wrong channel. Not going to happen here, and thank goodness for that. People in our society these days are looking for validation and justification to continue the enabling of toxic behavior and that is just sad and extremely dangerous. Your channel is where these people and those who come here truly trying to find a way to improve themselves and help those around them become their best selves NEED TO BE! Love you two for this. And Keep it going.
Started watching you guys because of my older sister she's 27, I'm 24❤️ we both have our own families now and are just looking to be better . love how u guys treat each other 🥺 watching your videos from the first video and I'm here now ♥️🫶🏻 learning and taking everything in . Can't wait to watch the latest videos of y'all and see how far u guys have gone .
I am newly married and my best friend and her husband (my husband's best friend) are going through really tough times and have dove into fixing what they need to in order to be better. I jumped in to listen because I fully feel like there is stuff that I can do better and take away what I can as a newlywed. Thank you for what you do!
That “Im gonna send letters and traumatize people” was definitely up my comedic alley 😂 love the pods.
I’ve learned soooo much in the last few days from you guys’ podcast and truly appreciate your insights. I’ve been in my relationship for 3 years.. We bought a house together in august and I find myself wanting to apply a lot of your advice! One outlier for me that I want to share is that my boyfriend and I moved in together 2 months in and although it did work out for us.. I definitely wouldn’t recommend doing that normally, as you guys said.. I definitely think about how things would have been if we had courted for a year. Thanks for shedding so much light on the importance of communication and intention in long term relationships and marriages!
I actually had a guy in the gym help me and guide me. I didnt know him, he didn't know me, but he took the time to help me. And I will be forever grateful for that.
Wow! I didn’t realize how badly I needed to hear the hard truth y’all were giving to the depressed mom reading books to avoid house chores & reality. I’m single, live alone with my dog, live 45 minutes from my brother & 13 hours from the rest of my family so I self isolate A LOT! I moved out of my “home” state of Alabama 9 months ago & found home in Wisconsin. I work from home full time & haven’t put forth effort to go out & make friends. As an adult this is more intimidating than I thought it would be. All these excuses have led me to having some really dark days & thoughts, days I won’t get out of bed, I won’t shower or brush my teeth, & I’ll fall behind on house chores at times. Because I’m a very, very clean & organized person, when the house gets messy it only makes my dark cloud worse. I need routine in order for me to function so when I allow myself to be lazy for one day… one day turns into 2 weeks. I have a husky so I don’t like to fall behind on house chores or else my apartment becomes a big fur ball. It is hard, but I’ve just got to do it… she says as she’s cleaning & listening. 😊
I had to rewind that back to make sure I heard you right when you said she said “they’ve literally gone on one date in the 13 years we’ve been together.” I really hope she’s being dramatic! 2:20:27
I've been listening to the podcasts while I'm working and driving. Now I'm watching for the first time on here. I'm getting so much from these, thank you guys. 💜
You’re welcome.
Just wanted to say that I just started following y’all’s TH-cam from tik tok. I love all the advice you guys give, and as a women who has been married for 10 years I still find value and have even had my eyes open from topics you guys discuss. Just wanted to say I appreciate you guys and love the content and thank you for tryin to make us all better ❤
As someone with adhd, executive dysfunction is a serious problem. So starting chores is VERY hard. It's not even about not wanting to do chores. I can't just say in my head that I have only 3 tasks. Those 3 tasks is really 45 in my head and its a lot. It's overwhelming. I sympathies with her on that. That being said, the dishes don't stop piling up just because I struggle to start them.
As a military wife in key west I totally agree with you. If you guys ever come out again I hope to run into you guys!.
For the lady struggling to stay on top of stuff..
I use the sweepy app. Most of my cleaning has to be on the weekends now cause I work 2 jobs.. but when I wasn't this app was so worth it to me. The way my brain works I like lists and being able to mark that I've done something. It seems silly but it works, and a little a day goes a long way! The premium version is $12 for the entire year but if you are anything like me.. it will help:)
Also. Not everything has to be done in a day. Force yourself to just clean for a half hour. You may feel motivated to do more once you start. You may not. Do a half hour every day, more on the better days. If it feels like too much just do one thing at a time. Like pick up the kids garbage etc. I honestly feel like once you start doing smaller steps you'll just feel motivated to take more on. That's how I have to go about it when My depression kicks in.
Also.. please listen to the depression cure. It is so boring to listen to but the info in there is so valuable.
Toni Thank you for this. I use hand written notes for my ADHD with cleaning. I totally downloaded this app like 5 mins ago. I think you may have made my week Girl.
@@jennay1 you're so welcome! It really makes it a lot easier ! :)
I come from a very broken and toxic house hold I never went to get diagnosed for anything until I started to get arrest at 13 and then I was diagnosed with so much stuff and never got the help I needed to learn how to cope with them until now I have recently realized that I have been letting all of that change who I am to who I didn’t want to be. I am completely changing that around now I don’t want my daughter to grow up the way I did I want her to have a better childhood then I did
I for got to add I’m 25 and I’ll be 26 in April
This was definitely a swift kick in the ass for me about my anxiety and depression! Thank you peaches and Chris for making this podcast a thing!
I actually started paying for my account just so I can lock my screen and be productive while listening to you guys! I have been so triggered and have worked through so much because of you both!
When you spoke about the small intimacy things that are thousands of words, I just wanted to state something that came to mind after y'all made points on that.
I have had a really hard time with anyone touching my back or shoulders since I was 11 due to three surgeries that saved my life. I have gotten a bit better over the last few years, because I also shied away from hugs. My mother loves hugs, and it hurt to see her sad after I rejected her love language. Unfortunately, there is still pain when I do accept hugs, I try for her, though.
However, after I met my boyfriend last year and he began to understand everything that goes along with my aversion to touch, my back hasn't been as much of an issue. I used to feel physical pain when someone touched my back/shoulders, but now I crave when he rests his hand on my back and shoulders. The pain doesn't appear when it's his touch. I just thought that it was curious and now think that it's a little silly that after isolating myself for so long, I crave touch and simply absolutely love listening to his heartbeat when we cuddle.
A coworker of mine saw me struggling with my insecurities with myself and my relationship so much so I was jealous of her just being there and existing around my man. He’s never ever done anything to break my trust but I have past traumas with relationships and I’ve worked through most. But trust is a big thing, and even though he doesn’t do anything to break that for me, I still almost half expect it at anytime.
Anyways, after listening to the full first episode I spoke with her and told her how I was jealous and we laughed about it. 3 months ago, a year ago, 2-3-4 years ago I would’ve been ridden with insane jealousy and would’ve never spoke to her about it and voiced the feelings I had. So having had that conversation with her just because you guys talked about how past traumas aren’t other peoples problems (you are absolutely right and I knew that, I just have issues not projecting and am doing a much better job at working on it now that I have you guys in my ear at work talking about these things), it has made me feel so much better and I’ve genuinely started a friendship with her. Having moved on from my stupid jealousy, I see how nice of a person she is. And thanks to her, you guys are all I listen to while I’m at work and I cannot get enough of you guys.
Once I get the time this weekend, I plan on sending a thank you email with more details to show how much you’ve helped improve my outlook on my very happy relationship and how to look in on myself to make myself better for me, and my boyfriend.
I can say as a man hearing this from a outside prospective helps soo much. Im only 1 week into finding you. I realize i need help but its hard to find someone who understands the hard parts of life. All the ones ive found are these feminin men. Like how the fuck can you feel my pain in the trifecta (emotional self hate, physical pain from army and mental damage). But like you say 1% a day a week or a year is soemthing. Ive haf to tell the VA like I cant quit. Im not going to be a pos sitting at home and I cant take the pay cut from trucking to a desk job. But as a guy you guys have helped my understanding alot ❤
How often are you both compromising? I hear a lot of her compromising but would love to hear more of Chris Compromising!! I love hearing these things!!
My wife’s birthday is Dec 07 and she is a huge fan of all things surrounding Pearl Harbor. That’s one thing I know can be a “Free date winner” , dinner, popcorn and either the movie Pearl Harbor or any documentary about it. It doesn’t take much to make her smile!
You two have helped me phrase things so much better to my girlfriend that it makes life so much easier for both of us. Thank you. I love you both. God bless.
1:26:59 It isn’t necessarily things her mom did but BPD is largely caused by trauma experienced as a young child and usually at the hands of someone the child has a close relationship with and trusts. Knowing that, it’s safe to say her mom likely was causing and/or enabling trauma to occur.
That "gentlemen downgrade their meals because their woman ordered a $35 meal" hit home. I've definitely done this, and why i ask her what she wants before I give her what I ordered.
Always always always let them order first!
@2 Be Better working my way to emailing yall soon. I'm trying to catch up on the podcasts first. Some other emails have helped with my personal life as well.
I just wanted to say that if you ever feel like you are repeating a point, i am the kind of person for some reason i need something to be explained to me 5 times in 5 different ways till i finally get it. Like for some reason i learn differently to others and some concepts, despite my best efforts, can take a while for me to grasp. Ive had instances were someone has expalined how to do a task 3 times and i didnt get it, they got frustrated and then drew it being sarcastic but it worked and it clicked in my head and i was like, got it boss and i was fine after that. Im loving that you guys keep bringing up accountability because that is something that i am working on for some reason im having a huge issue on figuring out how to apply it, i dont know why but i know im 99% there and i just need that little 1% for it to click and ive unlocked a new skill set. So please, if you guys ever feel like its a waste to keep making the same point remember there are people like me who actually bennefit from hearing the same message from different perspectives. Im telling you want to do by any means but its not a waste of breath for you to revisit topics and i personally apprciate it. :)
This is my first episode, I use to not watch cause a break up and you guys embody what most people want I think but it was a good first episode for me
“Your wrong opinion is wrong opinion” please put that on a coffee mug 😂
Your podcast gives me so much peace and clarity ✨️ 🙏
I can't get enough I've been listening here, Spotify, and TikTok and my friends and I suggested y'all to my friend at work with couple issues ❤y'all are healing me
Hell yeah!! You sharing us is what’s going to keep us around. The more we grow a following the more we plan on doing
Oh YEAH?!?! YOU GONNA START RUNNING YOUR MOUTH?! LOOK HERE, PAL! If you think you can just DISH out the same energy of these people talking shit, you're 1000% right! You can and SHOULD. Public discourse is in the shitter and we NEED to clap back. Not only THAT, but the way you two are trying to help people with some ACTUAL common sense is BEAUTIFUL! People NEED this stuff. So you MAKE these podcast episodes and you TALK shit right back to haters. And if you think i won't straight-up WATCH that shit and enjoy you guys' company, you're OUT OF YOUR MIND!
I just found you guys yesterday and have already made it episode 8! I absolutely love y’all!!
My husband and I are currently trying to get custody of my stepdaughter for the exact reason. Her bio mom is very vindictive, flat out claims she is a compulsive liar. She hasn’t really been present in our daughters life for 3 years. 3 years I have been a mom to her and I couldn’t be more happy to get her out of that situation after seeing the place and the amount of neglect both physically and mentally. I put her in therapy to help deal with her trauma because she is so little got her when she was 4 and she will be 7 soon. She is so much better now than she was when we got her. I love her to the moon and back. Nobody could tell me that’s not my baby girl she walks, talks, and acts just like me. Being a step parent is the best decision I ever made. Even when it’s hard. I even downloaded y’all’s pdf on how to do check ins with the kids. Which speaks to her love language of words of affirmation and quality time.
Thank you guys for helping me better myself, better my marriage, and better my relationship with my children. ❤ you guys. You guys are making huge changes in so many peoples lives and being supportive.
16:32 YES! "I dont like dealing with a misersble you, i dont know how to be myself." Everythings better when hes happy too.
I listen to the podcasts the entire time I'm at work, daily. Love what you guys do, keep em coming!!
so, i’m starting from the beginning and watching this podcast and i’m not sure if this comment will be seen BUT with the keys situation. I feel like i’d be torn because I’d do what she did and leave.. but inside i’d feel like it’s unfair and i’d have a hard time sorting through which person should compromise.
As i’m typing this i’m realizing the only reason i feel that way is because in my experience id compromise and wouldn’t get what did she afterwards.. which is an effort to still have a good time on the way home. In my experience some people, even family can’t get outside of their selves and if i wanted to stop on the way home they would say no because they’re in a bad mood still and not considering me. i will let that go and stop projecting that onto my partner.
so nevermind i just figured it out lol, thank you for helping me understand
When Chris said anxiety panic and Peaches said it's working.. the way Chris laughed 😂
I have been struggling so hard with cleaning and picking myself up to be able to do things because everything is so overwhelming but you're absolutely right, if I just got down to it despite how messy my room is I know I could knock it out in like 6 hours (with small breaks to eat and use the bathroom and stuff). I could. If I just assign little tasks I can do it
Hey Chris, for me, I use to swear way more too! I was like you, my sponsor shared with me, if you are on a spiritual journey, there is no place for profanity. " lack of profanity will offend no one" and profanity is a lack of spiritual values." Lol it soo hard to be aware of doing it. I slowed down my speaking, so.i can be more clear, which has made me aware.
Damnn I need time stamps, I'm searching for the roommate phase part, but I can't find it somehow...
Same except with the story about the step mom who had to deal with the 10-year old who hated her. Like I'm keeping myself up just to find it and I can't find it yet.
Edit not that anyone cares: but I found the story I was looking for it was after they came back from a break. 1:16:28
22min in and WOW! I'm an over talker, I will over explain and over talk A LOT. But the way yall explained it...just made sense. I just need to communicate the basics. And like Chris said, if we need to have a convo later about it, that's fine. Timing is so important 👌
2:50- “id like to do…” and here y’all are doing interviews and more! 🖤
16:12 wow. This gave me chills. I’ve said this many times before about my ex-husband, and I even said it proudly.
Anything to keep him okay, because it’s far worse for me if he’s not.
I’d happily give up any part of myself if it meant peace.
🚩
I love this one! the 3 hr podcast is GREAT!! i cant get enough of yall
2:24:10 BAM! Thank you for the reminder. I've been making excuses and need to hold myself accountable!!
Another good book for BPD is "I hate you, don't leave me"
It’s called a foodie call when a person, despite their lack of romantic attraction to someone, agrees to go on a date just to get a free meal.
I had to google it after you guys mentioned it because I was interested
You guys are amazing for what you do!! I just want to say thank you, and let you all know those report cards/check ins are heaven sent tool.
Glad that it’s helped you. If you are feeling up to it. An email to us telling us how it’s helped could get read on the podcast. 2bebetterco@gmail.com
You guys really speak words of wisdom
I'm really struggling right now with not being able to keep up consistently right now. I have tears in my Achilles and I can only be up for 10-15 mins at a time then I'm down for a little bit. My husband thankfully understands and keeps telling me to take it easy. I feel so conflicted about it because I want to be doing more. He works so hard as an airplane mechanic and now he's having to help take the load off for me. I'm not sure how to get past the guilty feeling
Chris reading that angry comment TOOK ME OUT 😂
I just wanted to say I found y’all on tiktok and heard you had a podcast here on TH-cam. I have watched y’all NONSTOP since. I told my husband about it and because he travels for work, working 15-18 hour days, he can’t just sit and listen BUT he does watch yalls tiktoks. In three days our communication and the way we speak to each other has changed drastically. I feel like I know y’all and are already apart of my life 😂 I love it. I love listening to y’all and I appreciate y’all for doing this, not just for me but for everyone that is taking what they need from these conversations. 🤍🤍
31:58 OMG I LOVE the idea. i hate the idea of walking around without shoes outside but love the feeling of grass .-.
I know this is an old video, but I wanted to comment and say that the question of "are you safe at home" is now standard practice at Dr appointment, and they will ask it even if there is someone else in the room.
YES YES YES YES!!!!!!!!!!! STOP being the victim by owning yourself, OWN your thoughts, feelings and reactions and GROW so you are never a victim again! Aka in short you need to get over it. YES it is HARD work! I was mentally & verbally abused,1 physical altercation. BUT I looked at the situation and worked to recognize the red flags so that I can avoid those situations
Me and my husband went to a 2 day music festival a couple of years ago. His feet started killing him before the two djs he really wanted to see. He knew how excited I was to be there and make those memories with him and I wasn't ready to leave and asked if we could sit down until his two favorite acts went on. I said absolutely. When the first person went on amd he didn't get up, I asked if he was ready to back to the hotel and watch movies. He wanted to wait a little longer, we did. Halfway through that set he still hadn't moved and I asked him again. We left early. He was in so much pain. I'm not going to stay somewhere or make him stay when he is miserable. That isn't love. That's selfishness.
1:18:00 for anyone coming from the short. This channel desperately needs to mark the topics in their videos.
This episode hits home.
Even though we are weeks apart on scenarios this past weekend was a total bust for my sons birthday trip and we let emotions get us on the way home and it was just a whole negative 5 stars for me he said he didn't like his birthday. So bummer but fixable. That I need to remind myself when things are fixable and to recognize what I have control of.
And I 100% wish we would have courted. We jumped in 3 weeks and a few days into a courthouse and sealed the deal. ( I have had a crush on him since I was 9-he was the bad boy at church -whole story there lol 🤣) so please people take the timeeee. But you gotta be strong if you're gonna be stupid right lol I kid but we are definitely trying. We are going on 6 years of crazy but constant lol and there's a lot of things we should have done well before now. I am also super on top of its not sincere if there's no"I" before love you lol
This economy is definitely crap and two incomes is the only way things work smoothly for us and it was hard as hell for him to swallow his pride and admit life works better when we both work because he would love to be the sole provider and things flow the same but its not reality. I'd much rather share the load though instead of him getting a second job and never having time. It was hard lesson but I also love going to work so it's a win-win that comes with some misunderstanding sometimes for sure. But I also love that one way or another our kids have a parent present while we build and that's a huge deal.
I had ppd bad which was the grossest my life has been but I also adhd clean which gets annoying but I have been re teaching myself to function in the best way for all of us. However , now I have Thursday and Fridays where both my kids are at school and I watch these and clean the f×k out my house and it's the best reset of peace. All I needed was these 2 days a week to totally reset my routine and the rest of the week is so much easier than it used to be. ON TOP of getting the dopest life advice at the same time so thank you.
I think the jar of life lesson is important to remember always.
"if you start with putting sand into the jar, you will not have room for rocks or pebbles" www.iamnirmal.com/post/jar-of-life-a-valuable-lesson-for-a-happier-life#:~:text=The%20metaphor%20here%20is%20that,things%20that%20are%20actually%20important.
I sorta felt like her once but also that's where the accountability comes in and you gotta get that shit down and ask for help if you need it.
Mindset is everything. Work helped a ton when I was needing to just breathe and be a human outside the household. People forget they were solo once and self care has to happen.
This is a long comment sorry lol
My comments may end up part of my notes lol it's easier to keep it together this way so if so please don't hate me lol it's for when I go back through lol
I am recognizing some self sabotage and victim mentality because My husband uses that word constantly and it boils my blood but I know I need to dive into that after watching these
Good job four minutes 😂
I know my comments are delayed but I’m watching podcast episodes in order. Although I don’t always agree with things said you two have sparked soo many conversations with myself and stuff I’ve started silently improving my relationship. So thank you for your opinions😊
I'm a 40 year old male veteran, I get asked if I feel safe at home at every appointment.
Wow, you guys are essential ❤️ keep doing what you’re doing, just discovered this channel and I WILL be back!!
I think it’s hard bc and people end up accumulating a lot of stuff in their homes and maybe it’s another partner or person in the house that doesn’t want to get rid of stuff which then makes it even harder to clean. That definitely happens in my house and you get so overwhelmed because you don’t know what to do with your partner stuff that you kind of give up and just clean around it. Or if you have been depressed before you listen to one of these videos, you may have a huge undertaking. Cleaning a little bit every day has definitely helped me, but I still find it hard to keep to a schedule.
Its crazy how basic people will try cutting others down for wanting to be something instead of just being another cog in the machine.. random nobodies have became amazing because they never stopped chasing their dream and they didnt listen to those basic people who dont have dreams. If anyone is telling you that trying to be great at something is stupid it just tells you they are jealous that they arent talented so dont let them stop you❤❤❤ but make sure your shit is taken care of while trying to reach your dreams. Don't neglect everything else in the process ❤❤❤
I love how you talk about the trip and how you met his want/need to leave and he turned around and met your request. compromise!!!!
When overwhelmed I play the “I know game”. I look at all the things I don’t know what to do with them find the one thing I do know what to do with.
This episode meant so much to me😢My person is still my person always💚
Im a truck driver...sit 2 to 6 hours per delivery...mann the priblems i started having from driving...
3hours and 27 minutes . Huge effort well done
I just wanna throw in my 2 cents on the whole "independent women, but wanna be a stay-at-home wife or mom": if you wanna be independent, but wanna spend your significant other's money, you are no longer independent, and cannot complain about being dependent
In the email where they’re talking abt being asked if op feels safe returning home at a drs appt, that’s something they ask at almost every drs appt and/or procedure. At least in the state of Texas lol I get asked that at my yearly obgyn and my mom literally just had an endoscopy yesterday and they asked that w/ me in the room.
I got way more out of this than what I’m about to say…. But I also agree with the pronunciation of filet.
2:12:37
When you guys were talking about the friends that you make not having opposite sex friends I really resonated with that. We tried to make a couple friend with our neighbor my husband got along with the wife more and they got extremely close so close that it caused an emotional affair.
Omg I’m dying you said go and grab a towel lol! I literally died laughing