I had to stop twice before the 40 minute mark because your episode was hitting me hard. My s/o came home Saturday night after work, and I met him with my negative energy/bad mood... it resulted in him walking away and not wanting to be near me (which made my mood worse) and really set the tone for Sunday as well. All could have been avoided had I taken a second and just communicated that I was in a bad mood and just needed a hug. I apologized to him this morning after listening to this, and we had a nice talk. Appreciate you two so much!
fun fact: my little town in AZ didn't change one damn thing for the pandemic. back to school after the summer, in person. never had any mask mandates or social distancing. we had our 4th of july parade in 2020, and had people come to our town from the big cities to protest. the police spoke to the protestors the night before the parade and warned them that we all LOVED our 2nd amendment rights and that the police force wasn't big enough to protect them if they decided to protest ;) they left. LOVED being in my town for the pandemic, so blessed. P.S. Love everything you guys do! I've binged 12 podcasts & a bunch of bonus episodes in the last week and a half. There's already so much that I've implemented in my relationship that has helped so much.
I work around 12 hours a day in a factory and have this entire podcast downloaded and playing through from episode 1 to the latest on repeat. Been doing it for months. I refuse to fail in my relationship and this podcast is my biggest tool in the toolbelt. Home Depot for fixing and maintaining the house, 2 Be Better for fixing and maintaining the household.
I just want to point out that I think the both of you are being extremely modest. You guys definitely are special simply because you choose to be human and admit mistakes and strengths and defeats for everyone to see not behind closed doors, not in private, allowing other people to learn from your vulnerability, that’s what makes you guys special.
Watching this before bed has me so excited for it to be the next day so I can do better and be better, for my family and my relationship. I just know yall are going to help me change my life and how I live it!
I just found them 2 days ago and they’ve already helped me change! I’ve been waking up everyday with a positive attitude even going through hard ships right now, I’m happy!!
For one, I need a link to that dress, please 😂 Two, I’m now freshly motivated to hit our family’s financial goals. Thank you for that!! Three, the communication part at the end and the parts about those little chores (filling up water, trash) is great. Right now, my husband and I are just in a super busy part of life, both in school, both working full time with OT, kiddos, etc. We use to get so upset about those little chores if we would honestly forget it. We realized that anger and defensiveness isn’t worth it and that most of the time we weren’t actually upset with one another, our tone just sucked. So now we blame it on the imaginary man named Darrel. 😂 We came up with a full background of how crappy and raunchy he is and we always bust out laughing when one of us goes, “dammit Darrel.”
What you said, Peaches, about feeling like if anyone reaches out to you, it would only be to take advantage/seek help from you versus actually be looking for friendship, is so unfortunate and probably right on the mark. Listening to you both is so enjoyable for me because you guys seem like super solid people and you do give fantastic perspective on important topics. I feel pretty solid in myself too, but the things you two have shared on these podcasts have really opened my eyes and helped direct my focus on areas that I can improve. If I knew you guys in real life, you’d be the sort of people I’d seek out friendship with. You have a lot of value, and it’s good that you recognize that and are ready to protect yourselves from users. I’m an expat & military wife living abroad, and the last thing I want to do when my hard-working husband comes home from weeks away is anything that’s going to alienate or undervalue him. It’s a lonely life sometimes so it’s been great finding your podcast because it provides me some adult company while my husband is away, PLUS super sound advice to sleep on (and clean my house to). Thank you both for all you do. I know this video is old now but I’m late to the party. 😊
I found you guys 2 days ago!! You’ve already helped me change and grow into a better person, in just two days! I’m going through some bad times right now and I’m not letting it affect my mood and just kind of had an “it will work out in the end” attitude and not letting it stress me out!! I also have been waking up everyday with a positive attitude and even going through what life’s gives me, I happy! Thank you for everything! I appreciate you both so much!!
this resonates with me because my hubby is partially blind, so when he helps me out I'm so grateful. this morning for work i wore odd socks because he bundled them up that way but i didnt mind because it made me happy that he helped you two have helped me a lot I've still got a long way to go on communicating my needs as i have a lot of trauma that has made me afraid of confrontation. any kind of yelling or swearing triggers my fear but through the two of you i have realized that it is better to gently confront those issue so that i can get the support i need and build that closer connection to my husband I've realized that although i may have been hearing what my husband was saying at times i didn't always understand we have less and less arguments and grow closer and closer each day thankyou both
I love your content and love that you opened up about BPD. My gf has BPD and I'm still learning how to be there for her during her episodes. Both of came from really bad relationships with narcissists and for the first time in both of our lives we are in a happy and loving relationship. Some days are harder than others but together we communicate to work through it and grow together. I'm glad I found your content and can't wait to see more.
I found you guys on instagram reels about two weeks ago.. and been watching all episodes daily trying to catch up as I have the same beliefs. But hell, this episode triggered me hard, but in a good way.. and I just want to say thank you for doing this. Being real and helping people.
I’ve been listening to at least one podcast of yours everyday. I love it. I listen while I clean. Some days I’ll listen to 2 or 3 in a day while cleaning. For 2 weeks now I’ve been removing his boots almost everyday(some days life gets hectic and we both forget other days I’m on it) talking to him explaining why I said things certain ways. Our arguments have already improved from screaming matches to talking and sometimes yelling on my part, I’m still working through why I yell and trying to learn to let go and understand that I can come back and finish the conversation later. Most times I’ve found it wasn’t even worth the reaction I gave and I apologize for my behavior and we are able to move past it. he did start demanding I take his boots off and expecting it. I explained to him last night that if he starts expecting and demanding me to do it then it takes away my reasons for doing it for him. It makes it feel like it’s another task I HAVE to do when I want to do it. He completely understood and said he doesn’t expect it he just enjoys it so much that he wants it all the time. Haha. We’ve done 2 checkins so far and we both agreed we NEEDED the second check in. I’m telling y’all I’m in love with these podcasts.
I started listening to the podcast a couple of weeks ago and am finally catching up, I am making my mom listen to it because I know you two can give her some wisdom ❤️ I see things completely different after hearing you guys, thank you for what your doing☺️
Been seeing y’all on TT and FB reels for awhile and have loved the content. Finally started listening on Spotify, working my way through all the episodes. I listen at work, i love you views and it’s been such thoughtful and helpful information. I’m on a self bettering journey and a marriage repairing journey. Hopefully will get my husband to start listening a bit. I truly believe it will be as helpful for him as it is for me. This is my first podcast I’m watching. I love y’all’s aesthetic! Just want to say thank you for putting yourselves out there like this. My self awareness and accountability has been opened so much and I’m only on episode 12!
Hello, hope you're all good! I've been processing forgiveness after ending a very long and profound friendship...and thats why I love the "Forgiveness is for yourself, not the other person", because i was EXHAUSTED of being resentful. But before I got to that quote i listened to Spring Day by BTS and theres a line that says "I rather forget it than to blame you, because it hurts less". I really clicked with it, then I linked the two of them and that has improved my forgiving process.
I have been watching your videos for a few weeks now and started implementing the check in with my boyfriend. We talked and cried for hours and learned things we had no idea were bothering each other. I thank both of you for giving us the tools. We are putting in the work. Also I absolutely agree with starting work young if possible. Its funny that you mentioned Iceland because that is where we traveled last year and then you mentioned Europe tour and that is our plan for our anniversary backpacking around Europe 5 cities and Ireland in 15 days. Work while your young so you can relax and enjoy life as you get older.
you guys are literally like my parents now, I'm 20 and the people that raised me had a very very bad relationship together, and now, I don't know how to navigate in my relationship life. So, thank you for all these advice!!
Yall have really helped me understand how I say too much. My husband of 9 yrs is ADD and has told me many times he cant handle too many task but I cany help over loading and word vomiting my issues and tasks. Thank you for helping me understand how truly damaging that is. Been binging yall for that last few days and hes already commented on how he likes my accountability and had listened to me so much more! I'm 31 hes 29 and we're pretty aware of our shit but yall have given us a new perspective that is helping us so much! Thank youuuu❣👏👏👏
you guys have helped me so much. i started watching Tuesday of this week 03/21/2023. You gave me an aha moment on why I was struggling so much and when I started giving up control I'm able to handle my emotions better, my anxiety is so low. thank you for giving me the tools to help myself be better and be a better soon-to-be wife and Stepmom. thank you for being so awesome and true to yourselfs
Just found you guys a few weeks ago and wow do I love listening to you. Listening to this episode specifically, I would love to chime in on the topic of college, living at home,and working at a young age. At the age of 16 i was given a car by my Grandparents. Definitely nothing fancy. It hardly ran half the time, but man, was I grateful. Shortly after, I started working a part-time job while going to high school and participating in 3 athletic events. Every month, I was required to pay my car insurance and phone bill. Once I graduated high school. I applied to college and was accepted on a full scholarship. Never paid a dime the entire time I was there. I definitely agree with you guys. The first semester was a joke but then I started taking it seriously. The part I want your guys's opinion on is living at home after the age of 18. I didn't graduate high school until I was 19 years old, and my mother told me that I was always allowed to live at home under specific conditions. The first condition was I was to save 80% of my paycheck and live off of 20%. With that 20 %, I still had to pay my phone bill in my car insurance. 80% was to go directly to savings. The second condition was I had to be Furthering my education. My brother did not further his education after high school. His circumstances were a little different. As COVID was a huge topic and finding a job was difficult after he gradated. He was required to save for 6 months To buy his own house. He has autism, so his circumstances were a little different. I was also told I had to open a retirement fund which I paid every month out of my 20%. I graduated college in May and I am 24 years old. I was able to purchase a $130,000 home with my fiancé. While I did live at home, I feel as if my family instilled A hard work ethic and A greater respect for money. The best part was, the money that I had been paying all of the years for my car and phone was actually put into an envelope. The day I moved out, all of that money was given back to me (i had no clue) , which was then turned around and invested. Would love to get your guys's opinion on this parenting style as it I feel this is a very odd situation that not very many people have. I also view It as my mom was willing to invest in me. As long as I was willing to invest in myself. There is also a no take back policy. Once we are living on our own, we are no longer allowed to live under her roof anymore. Love listening to You guys
For you talking about always constantly learning, one phrase I live by that my granddad told me was the day you stop learning is the day you die. And it has helped me grow in a lot of different ways. It's even helped me get a new career in the HVAC field.
I really enjoy listening to you guys. Sometimes it is hard as shit though. I have dreams that I am still chasing that got knocked off course because when I was in high school my mom was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor. I also have a handicap brother. She was no longer able to care for him on her own so I stepped up. I am currently trying to find a job to save to go back to school. Listening to you guys, as hard as it is knowing that I had the drive (and still do) to accomplish my dreams right after high school and was unable to, helps keep me driving forward to find a job that works with me also caring for my handicap brother full time.
My dad folds his clothes a particular way & I got in the habit of doing that. When my ex would fold my clothes for me, she would say “I know it’s not how you fold them” it didn’t matter to me, it’s the fact she took the time to do it. So I would thank her & then just re fold stuff to how I wanted/needed for it to be in my dresser. Such small things shouldn’t ever be such an issue that people have to bring it up/get snarky.
As someone that moved out at 18 it helped me get pass the laziness that I was experiencing after I graduated. (About 6 months) I made the decision to move with some friends to Texas and now I have my own car,own apartment, I work full time doing delivery driving for rideshare companies and I’m living (almost) the best life my next goal is to get in shape as I train to go pro in gaming
He's not wrong. Part of why I watch is your face. You're so pretty. But I love you guys together and your advice is amazing. My marriage isn't uber traditional. His kids are grown, we both work but we do implement certain traditional roles ((blue jobs and pink jobs)). I've been binging you guys podcast all week. Love your vibe and how much you two love and appreciate and respect eachother. ❤
Wow, I am only 40 min. In and I'm already learning and hearing what I want to change on myself and try to work on being better. You guys are awesome! Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and life lessons.
I love the explanation about the hug. I was in a relationship with someone with BPD. I didn’t know anything about the disorder at the time. We are also meth addicts at the time which created HORRIBLE conflict, arguments, etc. as you can imagine. I remember he said to me that he just needs a hug to calm him down when he’s upset. When I felt he would come after me with anger and I’d get defensive, my mindset was “why would I want to hug you right now?!” And I never did. I was not a good partner but neither was he. We weren’t capable. Just eye opening. I’m currently married and pregnant…. One day I was being dramatic due to hormones and my husband just hugged me. It clicked and I feel horrible. One day I hope to find him to make amends. Thanks for letting me share 🤣
due to shitty circumstances i didn’t get to get a real job until after i turned 18. before that i was an under the table server for a moment and then a full time caregiver, but i moved out at 17. now i’m 19 living a happy healthy relationship and i wish i would’ve had a better situation sometimes so i’d have more of a start when i 15/16 but i’m so glad i was able to change my path and i’m working to be who i want to be
I don’t remember what point in the podcast triggered this memory because I was driving and couldn’t pull over to finish my thought, but it reminded me of a story I heard where the wife asked the husband to pick her outfits for a week. A few days into that week they had date night, and she asked him what was up with his choices. Most were things she hadn’t worn in a while, or maybe wouldn’t necessarily wear together. His answers were absolutely filled with love and were a mix of things like memories he had where she was wearing this shirt, or remembering she was so excited to buy those shoes and seemed confident wearing them but rarely gets the opportunity. It was so amazing and having the memory of this resurface makes me want to try it with my partner
When y'all posted this you were at 11k subs, today at episode 24 you're at 84k y'all grow on TH-cam the same way you grow the listeners and their relationships.
5:46 Peaches you literally made me cry my eyes out on my drive home from work because you were quite literally explaining my life. I'm joining Patreon here in a few from this part alone!
Reading the surrendered wife and it is has shaken me up. I dont know anyone else in a traditional marriage so its hard for me to ask anyone for advice. This is hard, and i feel like im not taking care of him by implementing some of these things. 🥴
It boggles my mind that so many people think that Chris is a bad person, and that he’s abusing peaches even though he gets so passionately upset about people being mistreated in their relationships. It just makes no sense to me that people actually think he’s a bad person when he just wants people to be better and he despises when people treat people that they claimed to love like shit.
I always love seeing the love y'all have for each other I just love y'all 2 I lost faith in humanity until I down loaded tic Tok and found it y'all and a couple others alot of us don't have any one in real life at home and iam 1 of those people all i had was my kids until i found a few on tic Tok
Have you talked about how to apologize to someone? Just recently, I learned there was an apology etiquette or process. It is not just as simple as saying "I am sorry for ____." According to what I learned, you should state what you did wrong, explain why the action was wrong or hurtful, tell the person what you plan on doing differently in the future, and ask for forgiveness. How come it took me 40+ years to learn this.
The "we need to talk" my husband does to me all the time and it's 97% of the time it's positive. 🤣😂 It's a joke at this point. That 3% is financial issues that he needs my opinion on before he moves forward. Edit: If there is an emotional issue or if we need to talk about something serious he always say "we need to talk later about ..... " Because he knows I need to know what it's about to think about said issue before we actually have the conversation so there is very little arguing. If it's something serious we need to make sure we can explain and communicate our perspectives properly. Edit #2: tou getting so stern and saying to leave you if i ever treat you like that made me cry (a good cry). You absolutely love her and hold yourself to such a loving standard for her and yourself. Holy shit i needed that.
I came over from TikTok and love you guys. I might have a stupid question, but would love to hear your take. We are unable to have a full traditional marriage because we just can’t afford it at this point. We send our kids to private school and I bring the health insurance. We are Christians that follow a “traditional” roll, but not the negative kind that some associate with Christian males being d!cks and not loving their wives. All that to say, is it still possible to live they way you guys do but both being tired from work and such. We have to work on communication and a lot of my past trauma, but could we get to a place you guys are, not resenting each other after 14 years together
I’ve been working since I was 15. Now I am a month shy of 25 and I live with my mom. Do I wish I could move out on my own in my own safe place? Absolutely I dream if it everyday. That being said I’ve been a full time college student and working full time since I was 17. With no financial help from my mom. I pay for my books, my classes which to some may not seem like a lot. But one textbook costs me $300 at least. So while I agree with you that we should start working young, and move out by 18. I just don’t see how it’s possible, there are times I can’t even afford to put gas in my car. I would’ve graduated in 2021 if I didn’t have to work so much. Yet financially it’s still not a not. It’s like working two full time jobs and instead of getting paid for one, I have to pay them. I am not trying to come off as rude or anything like that. I guess I’m trying to say not all young people in their 20’s who do live with their guardians is not because they want to. Sometimes it’s our only option.
Not every person has the same conditions, you're obviously doing the best you can to set yourself up for success. I don't think they're trying to cover every single situation, because of course they can't cover every situation. For the textbook situation, try to look in your erea for groups that sells used textbooks. In the case they're visibly written on or used, you can erase stuff or make your own cover and pretend to just customize your stuff so that you're not clocked by your teacher if it's a problem. Some apps can help with budgeting. Maybe ask for a raise, explaining why you're deserving of it (responsibilities, experience etc). Try to look at some financial advice on TH-cam on how to save more (carpooling etc ...). Hang on in there, because your degrees are probably worth what you're doing, and don't put yourself in a bad situation or mindset if your situation is what's possible and what's working for you.
Starting a little late on your stuff, but as soon as I can, I'm joining the patreon.. single mom, who was raised in a "can't rely on men" house. I've always tried to be the alpha... I don't want to be
I only ever hear my girlfriend begin a conversation with "I need to tell you something..." when the next thing out of her mouth is "I think I have a crush on you..." 🤣🤣🤣
It’s the simple fact that without you and your wife we wouldn’t have knowledge having bpd and not able to get therapy or meds because of my job and my job doesn’t offer it either it’s things like this that help I’m trying to redirect my thoughts because you relate having bpd and the splits and anger outbursts it makes me feel less alone
Hi! Love your guys content!! ♥️♥️ When you guys have some time, I would LOVE a list of self help books you guys have read and enjoyed. I’m currently in the middle of Surrendered Wife and it has helped so much. I also have 2 others from Laura waiting on my desk for when I’m finished. So, I would love to stack up more that you guys suggest 😁 Thank you!!
The Surrendered Wife The empowered wife by Laura Doyal For Women Only For Men only - Shaunti Feldhahn The proper care and feeding of marriage The proper care and feeding of Marriage -Dr Laura Schlessinger Love and Respect - Dr Emerson Eggerichs Worth of her trust - Stephen Aterburn, Jason B Martinkus I hear you - Michael Sorensen Communication in Marriage -Marcus Kusi, Ashley Kusi
Honestly how do I find someone like Chris? I'm okay with not having a fully traditional marriage but having someone who would protect me, care about me, and actually love me and want me would be nice.
Fk yes! When you guys talk about intimacy, I have always imagined it to include her shaving his head for him. Jesus washed the feet of others and that was a deeply intimate thing. I love it!
If your partner comes home to a hostile environment, they will become a version of themselves they can give to you and still survive... heard that on a tiktok and it stuck with me.
I HATEEEE MEESSAGES. I hate telling every single person to either call me or wait till we’re face to face bc I read messages with the persons personality and some people botherrrrrrrrrrr me sooooo much 😭 Rn I’m texting but this person knows I’m mad bc of something I’ve talked about in person 3x within the 2 years, I hate people
Your partner should be first. You were a couple before kids, and hope you will be when the kids leave.❤it! I am starting from episode 1 and wow, I agree with so much and I am being a better wife and person. I compliment my husband and thank him more. I see some things i was doing and i am making changes. Thank you both for sharing!
One of the main reasons i love the podcast is bc before my bf i didnt do things to submit in anyway making his plate was a big one and with my bf i want to be the way peaches is to chis and giving me some thing to help me better explain it to others is amazing
Fuck what society says as far as I'm concerned you two are one of the the healthiest versions of this type of relationship. And like you said it's not on you if other women pick shitty men.
In the email about the guy's ex gf being in the vehicle and having her phone hooked up to it via bluetooth reminds me of something I saw on reddit some years back. If someone thinks their partner is cheating, take their phone and drive around to where they know they have "close friends" and see if the phone connects auto to their wifi lol. To be fair thats not an automatic red flag, but if there is concerns of trust going on, and that happens at some cute friends place they spend a lot of time at, little bit suss
Chris, how do I find a mentor like that. BECAUSE i need someone like you to help me. Ive got about 25k in credit cards m9stly from unexpected car maintance be8ng 7500 and moving my gf from wisconsin to here end all costing me another 10. Althought im als9 a disabiled vet at 60% and a trucker locally making 900-1200 a week. I am in need of someone who can help me with some realistic goals and finaclial advice. If you read this id appreciate some knowledge on how to become a better person. P.S. im 26 and feel like im wasting valuable time.
I hate how my love folds towels so I never ask him too and I tell him that he doesn’t get to fold them he can do all the other laundry to help me just not the towels
I honestly wish I has I friend like you peaches! Like a real women that is ok with telling me that I am being a dumb ass and I need to fix my bs. I don't keep friend much because I m not a yes friend I won't tell you just what you want to hear.
You guys lose me on the decompress time after work. My husband has a nice office job. I stay home with 2 kids under 2. The second he walks in the door he better grab one of the kids. I’ve been in the trenches all day long with my children. I’m not going to stay in it for 30 extra minutes so my husband can “adjust” to the chaos
I don’t see why y’all can’t be silly and seeing dance “movies and make a bunch of crazy jokes and do the stuff you do now because me personally that would just make it 1000 times better. Just saying.
I'd love to be your friend 😭 I have no friends and no family. I have my boyfriend but no girl friends 🥲 your relationship and our relationship is so similar I feel, I feel really comfortable with you and would love if I could be someone you feel safe with 🫶 if not, that's totally fine, just would like you to know I'm here ♥️
I got fixated on the child labor laws, if you want to go back and look at this for the realization of how the government throws a finger to children in the U.S. I got this information from dol.gov/agencies/whd/ state/child-labor. This is general 16-18y/o FL (because this is your state) 8-30-6 (specifications on site) during school year, not allowed to schedule after 11pm or before 6:30 am during school year. GA (my home state) NONE! No restrictions🤯 AL (where I am currently) none for day, not allowed to schedule before 5am or after 10pm during school year.
There’s a lot of notes I have taken about all your previous full-length podcast videos, these are helping me to realize more of my mistakes and taking greater accountability for myself than I previously have in the past. I am working my way through the rest and I hope to continue to gain perspective and motivation to continue my journey. Thank you both! I hope this isn’t weird, just wanted to say that I am proud of the accomplishment you both have achieved with this podcast😊
I had to stop twice before the 40 minute mark because your episode was hitting me hard. My s/o came home Saturday night after work, and I met him with my negative energy/bad mood... it resulted in him walking away and not wanting to be near me (which made my mood worse) and really set the tone for Sunday as well. All could have been avoided had I taken a second and just communicated that I was in a bad mood and just needed a hug. I apologized to him this morning after listening to this, and we had a nice talk. Appreciate you two so much!
Glad you were able to take accountability in this and grow from it. It’s how we get better!
You two are like the snap-on of relationships.
ik this is 5 months ago but i absolutely love this statement! it made me chuckle ☺️
fun fact: my little town in AZ didn't change one damn thing for the pandemic. back to school after the summer, in person. never had any mask mandates or social distancing. we had our 4th of july parade in 2020, and had people come to our town from the big cities to protest. the police spoke to the protestors the night before the parade and warned them that we all LOVED our 2nd amendment rights and that the police force wasn't big enough to protect them if they decided to protest ;) they left. LOVED being in my town for the pandemic, so blessed.
P.S. Love everything you guys do! I've binged 12 podcasts & a bunch of bonus episodes in the last week and a half. There's already so much that I've implemented in my relationship that has helped so much.
“Why is someone you claimed to be your resolutions now viewed as your problems?”
What a powerful fucking question.
That’s an ouch statement that really has me thinking.
I work around 12 hours a day in a factory and have this entire podcast downloaded and playing through from episode 1 to the latest on repeat. Been doing it for months. I refuse to fail in my relationship and this podcast is my biggest tool in the toolbelt. Home Depot for fixing and maintaining the house, 2 Be Better for fixing and maintaining the household.
I just want to point out that I think the both of you are being extremely modest. You guys definitely are special simply because you choose to be human and admit mistakes and strengths and defeats for everyone to see not behind closed doors, not in private, allowing other people to learn from your vulnerability, that’s what makes you guys special.
Watching this before bed has me so excited for it to be the next day so I can do better and be better, for my family and my relationship. I just know yall are going to help me change my life and how I live it!
I just found them 2 days ago and they’ve already helped me change! I’ve been waking up everyday with a positive attitude even going through hard ships right now, I’m happy!!
For one, I need a link to that dress, please 😂
Two, I’m now freshly motivated to hit our family’s financial goals. Thank you for that!!
Three, the communication part at the end and the parts about those little chores (filling up water, trash) is great. Right now, my husband and I are just in a super busy part of life, both in school, both working full time with OT, kiddos, etc. We use to get so upset about those little chores if we would honestly forget it. We realized that anger and defensiveness isn’t worth it and that most of the time we weren’t actually upset with one another, our tone just sucked. So now we blame it on the imaginary man named Darrel. 😂 We came up with a full background of how crappy and raunchy he is and we always bust out laughing when one of us goes, “dammit Darrel.”
What you said, Peaches, about feeling like if anyone reaches out to you, it would only be to take advantage/seek help from you versus actually be looking for friendship, is so unfortunate and probably right on the mark. Listening to you both is so enjoyable for me because you guys seem like super solid people and you do give fantastic perspective on important topics. I feel pretty solid in myself too, but the things you two have shared on these podcasts have really opened my eyes and helped direct my focus on areas that I can improve. If I knew you guys in real life, you’d be the sort of people I’d seek out friendship with. You have a lot of value, and it’s good that you recognize that and are ready to protect yourselves from users.
I’m an expat & military wife living abroad, and the last thing I want to do when my hard-working husband comes home from weeks away is anything that’s going to alienate or undervalue him. It’s a lonely life sometimes so it’s been great finding your podcast because it provides me some adult company while my husband is away, PLUS super sound advice to sleep on (and clean my house to).
Thank you both for all you do. I know this video is old now but I’m late to the party. 😊
I found you guys 2 days ago!! You’ve already helped me change and grow into a better person, in just two days! I’m going through some bad times right now and I’m not letting it affect my mood and just kind of had an “it will work out in the end” attitude and not letting it stress me out!! I also have been waking up everyday with a positive attitude and even going through what life’s gives me, I happy! Thank you for everything! I appreciate you both so much!!
this resonates with me because my hubby is partially blind, so when he helps me out I'm so grateful. this morning for work i wore odd socks because he bundled them up that way but i didnt mind because it made me happy that he helped
you two have helped me a lot I've still got a long way to go on communicating my needs as i have a lot of trauma that has made me afraid of confrontation. any kind of yelling or swearing triggers my fear but through the two of you i have realized that it is better to gently confront those issue so that i can get the support i need and build that closer connection to my husband I've realized that although i may have been hearing what my husband was saying at times i didn't always understand we have less and less arguments and grow closer and closer each day
thankyou both
I love your content and love that you opened up about BPD. My gf has BPD and I'm still learning how to be there for her during her episodes. Both of came from really bad relationships with narcissists and for the first time in both of our lives we are in a happy and loving relationship. Some days are harder than others but together we communicate to work through it and grow together. I'm glad I found your content and can't wait to see more.
I found you guys on instagram reels about two weeks ago.. and been watching all episodes daily trying to catch up as I have the same beliefs. But hell, this episode triggered me hard, but in a good way.. and I just want to say thank you for doing this. Being real and helping people.
I’ve been listening to at least one podcast of yours everyday. I love it. I listen while I clean. Some days I’ll listen to 2 or 3 in a day while cleaning. For 2 weeks now I’ve been removing his boots almost everyday(some days life gets hectic and we both forget other days I’m on it) talking to him explaining why I said things certain ways. Our arguments have already improved from screaming matches to talking and sometimes yelling on my part, I’m still working through why I yell and trying to learn to let go and understand that I can come back and finish the conversation later. Most times I’ve found it wasn’t even worth the reaction I gave and I apologize for my behavior and we are able to move past it. he did start demanding I take his boots off and expecting it. I explained to him last night that if he starts expecting and demanding me to do it then it takes away my reasons for doing it for him. It makes it feel like it’s another task I HAVE to do when I want to do it. He completely understood and said he doesn’t expect it he just enjoys it so much that he wants it all the time. Haha. We’ve done 2 checkins so far and we both agreed we NEEDED the second check in. I’m telling y’all I’m in love with these podcasts.
I started listening to the podcast a couple of weeks ago and am finally catching up, I am making my mom listen to it because I know you two can give her some wisdom ❤️ I see things completely different after hearing you guys, thank you for what your doing☺️
Been seeing y’all on TT and FB reels for awhile and have loved the content. Finally started listening on Spotify, working my way through all the episodes. I listen at work, i love you views and it’s been such thoughtful and helpful information. I’m on a self bettering journey and a marriage repairing journey. Hopefully will get my husband to start listening a bit. I truly believe it will be as helpful for him as it is for me. This is my first podcast I’m watching. I love y’all’s aesthetic! Just want to say thank you for putting yourselves out there like this. My self awareness and accountability has been opened so much and I’m only on episode 12!
Hello, hope you're all good! I've been processing forgiveness after ending a very long and profound friendship...and thats why I love the "Forgiveness is for yourself, not the other person", because i was EXHAUSTED of being resentful. But before I got to that quote i listened to Spring Day by BTS and theres a line that says "I rather forget it than to blame you, because it hurts less". I really clicked with it, then I linked the two of them and that has improved my forgiving process.
I have been watching your videos for a few weeks now and started implementing the check in with my boyfriend. We talked and cried for hours and learned things we had no idea were bothering each other. I thank both of you for giving us the tools. We are putting in the work. Also I absolutely agree with starting work young if possible. Its funny that you mentioned Iceland because that is where we traveled last year and then you mentioned Europe tour and that is our plan for our anniversary backpacking around Europe 5 cities and Ireland in 15 days. Work while your young so you can relax and enjoy life as you get older.
you guys are literally like my parents now, I'm 20 and the people that raised me had a very very bad relationship together, and now, I don't know how to navigate in my relationship life. So, thank you for all these advice!!
I feel this so much, because of them I have been able to start the healing journey with my mom!
Yall have really helped me understand how I say too much. My husband of 9 yrs is ADD and has told me many times he cant handle too many task but I cany help over loading and word vomiting my issues and tasks. Thank you for helping me understand how truly damaging that is. Been binging yall for that last few days and hes already commented on how he likes my accountability and had listened to me so much more! I'm 31 hes 29 and we're pretty aware of our shit but yall have given us a new perspective that is helping us so much! Thank youuuu❣👏👏👏
you guys have helped me so much. i started watching Tuesday of this week 03/21/2023. You gave me an aha moment on why I was struggling so much and when I started giving up control I'm able to handle my emotions better, my anxiety is so low. thank you for giving me the tools to help myself be better and be a better soon-to-be wife and Stepmom. thank you for being so awesome and true to yourselfs
Just found you guys a few weeks ago and wow do I love listening to you.
Listening to this episode specifically, I would love to chime in on the topic of college, living at home,and working at a young age.
At the age of 16 i was given a car by my Grandparents. Definitely nothing fancy. It hardly ran half the time, but man, was I grateful. Shortly after, I started working a part-time job while going to high school and participating in 3 athletic events. Every month, I was required to pay my car insurance and phone bill.
Once I graduated high school. I applied to college and was accepted on a full scholarship. Never paid a dime the entire time I was there. I definitely agree with you guys. The first semester was a joke but then I started taking it seriously.
The part I want your guys's opinion on is living at home after the age of 18. I didn't graduate high school until I was 19 years old, and my mother told me that I was always allowed to live at home under specific conditions. The first condition was I was to save 80% of my paycheck and live off of 20%. With that 20 %, I still had to pay my phone bill in my car insurance. 80% was to go directly to savings. The second condition was I had to be Furthering my education. My brother did not further his education after high school. His circumstances were a little different. As COVID was a huge topic and finding a job was difficult after he gradated. He was required to save for 6 months To buy his own house. He has autism, so his circumstances were a little different.
I was also told I had to open a retirement fund which I paid every month out of my 20%. I graduated college in May and I am 24 years old. I was able to purchase a $130,000 home with my fiancé. While I did live at home, I feel as if my family instilled A hard work ethic and A greater respect for money.
The best part was, the money that I had been paying all of the years for my car and phone was actually put into an envelope. The day I moved out, all of that money was given back to me (i had no clue) , which was then turned around and invested.
Would love to get your guys's opinion on this parenting style as it I feel this is a very odd situation that not very many people have.
I also view It as my mom was willing to invest in me. As long as I was willing to invest in myself. There is also a no take back policy. Once we are living on our own, we are no longer allowed to live under her roof anymore.
Love listening to You guys
For you talking about always constantly learning, one phrase I live by that my granddad told me was the day you stop learning is the day you die. And it has helped me grow in a lot of different ways. It's even helped me get a new career in the HVAC field.
So many emotions throughout this entire episode hahaha you guys never fail to make follow your emotions with you ❤
I really enjoy listening to you guys. Sometimes it is hard as shit though. I have dreams that I am still chasing that got knocked off course because when I was in high school my mom was diagnosed with a benign brain tumor. I also have a handicap brother. She was no longer able to care for him on her own so I stepped up. I am currently trying to find a job to save to go back to school. Listening to you guys, as hard as it is knowing that I had the drive (and still do) to accomplish my dreams right after high school and was unable to, helps keep me driving forward to find a job that works with me also caring for my handicap brother full time.
Love your podcast, gives a lot of perspective and reflection of past failed relationships or struggles.
My dad folds his clothes a particular way & I got in the habit of doing that.
When my ex would fold my clothes for me, she would say “I know it’s not how you fold them” it didn’t matter to me, it’s the fact she took the time to do it.
So I would thank her & then just re fold stuff to how I wanted/needed for it to be in my dresser.
Such small things shouldn’t ever be such an issue that people have to bring it up/get snarky.
Agreed
I love watching the evolution! Can't wait to see the YT play button plaque up there one day soon!
I think time stamps would be great to implement either in the description or as chapters in the video
Thanks for the awesome content!
Agreed
As someone that moved out at 18 it helped me get pass the laziness that I was experiencing after I graduated. (About 6 months) I made the decision to move with some friends to Texas and now I have my own car,own apartment, I work full time doing delivery driving for rideshare companies and I’m living (almost) the best life my next goal is to get in shape as I train to go pro in gaming
He's not wrong. Part of why I watch is your face. You're so pretty. But I love you guys together and your advice is amazing. My marriage isn't uber traditional. His kids are grown, we both work but we do implement certain traditional roles ((blue jobs and pink jobs)). I've been binging you guys podcast all week. Love your vibe and how much you two love and appreciate and respect eachother. ❤
Wow, I am only 40 min. In and I'm already learning and hearing what I want to change on myself and try to work on being better.
You guys are awesome! Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom and life lessons.
I love the explanation about the hug. I was in a relationship with someone with BPD. I didn’t know anything about the disorder at the time. We are also meth addicts at the time which created HORRIBLE conflict, arguments, etc. as you can imagine. I remember he said to me that he just needs a hug to calm him down when he’s upset.
When I felt he would come after me with anger and I’d get defensive, my mindset was “why would I want to hug you right now?!” And I never did.
I was not a good partner but neither was he. We weren’t capable. Just eye opening.
I’m currently married and pregnant…. One day I was being dramatic due to hormones and my husband just hugged me. It clicked and I feel horrible. One day I hope to find him to make amends.
Thanks for letting me share 🤣
due to shitty circumstances i didn’t get to get a real job until after i turned 18. before that i was an under the table server for a moment and then a full time caregiver, but i moved out at 17. now i’m 19 living a happy healthy relationship and i wish i would’ve had a better situation sometimes so i’d have more of a start when i 15/16 but i’m so glad i was able to change my path and i’m working to be who i want to be
I don’t remember what point in the podcast triggered this memory because I was driving and couldn’t pull over to finish my thought, but it reminded me of a story I heard where the wife asked the husband to pick her outfits for a week.
A few days into that week they had date night, and she asked him what was up with his choices. Most were things she hadn’t worn in a while, or maybe wouldn’t necessarily wear together. His answers were absolutely filled with love and were a mix of things like memories he had where she was wearing this shirt, or remembering she was so excited to buy those shoes and seemed confident wearing them but rarely gets the opportunity.
It was so amazing and having the memory of this resurface makes me want to try it with my partner
When y'all posted this you were at 11k subs, today at episode 24 you're at 84k y'all grow on TH-cam the same way you grow the listeners and their relationships.
5:46 Peaches you literally made me cry my eyes out on my drive home from work because you were quite literally explaining my life. I'm joining Patreon here in a few from this part alone!
Had to come back and rewatch this one because of how damn true it is.
the best podcast i have ever listened to ❤️
2 be better podcast in a nutshell: any problem should definitely be a conversation
I'd love to see vlogs, random topics, tv/movie reviews, and maybe story times
You ever get that print??
@2 Be Better Yes I had emailed y'all
1:19:18 CJ the car girl on TT gives great guidance on buying cars. She used to be a car salesman
Love watching her!
I would LOVE a video of book recommendations and talking about how certain books impacted you guys!
We have a book list available in our patreon group
He’s so in love with you. I love it. Yalls relationship is just amazing and inspiring.
Reading the surrendered wife and it is has shaken me up. I dont know anyone else in a traditional marriage so its hard for me to ask anyone for advice. This is hard, and i feel like im not taking care of him by implementing some of these things. 🥴
I read that book way back when i was not married yet. I think it helped me to find my husband. Now rereading it, but slowly :D Its a great book
Yes Peaches, your face! 😊❤
Love the podcast guys, keep up the good/hard work! Thank you!!
This setups is it!!! Love the chairs much better than the last ones! 😍 Also great episode as usual❤
The new chairs fit your aesthetic and the setup way more
It boggles my mind that so many people think that Chris is a bad person, and that he’s abusing peaches even though he gets so passionately upset about people being mistreated in their relationships. It just makes no sense to me that people actually think he’s a bad person when he just wants people to be better and he despises when people treat people that they claimed to love like shit.
I always love seeing the love y'all have for each other I just love y'all 2 I lost faith in humanity until I down loaded tic Tok and found it y'all and a couple others alot of us don't have any one in real life at home and iam 1 of those people all i had was my kids until i found a few on tic Tok
Have you talked about how to apologize to someone? Just recently, I learned there was an apology etiquette or process. It is not just as simple as saying "I am sorry for ____." According to what I learned, you should state what you did wrong, explain why the action was wrong or hurtful, tell the person what you plan on doing differently in the future, and ask for forgiveness. How come it took me 40+ years to learn this.
I'm having trouble finding the downloads on their website. Can anyone send a link?
@2:04:00 ish- right to my soul. A man who is willing to tell his wife what to expect of him.
Cream I don't know what your talking about, I only watch for jokes and shot talk yall keep me lmfa much love
The "we need to talk" my husband does to me all the time and it's 97% of the time it's positive. 🤣😂 It's a joke at this point. That 3% is financial issues that he needs my opinion on before he moves forward.
Edit: If there is an emotional issue or if we need to talk about something serious he always say "we need to talk later about ..... " Because he knows I need to know what it's about to think about said issue before we actually have the conversation so there is very little arguing. If it's something serious we need to make sure we can explain and communicate our perspectives properly.
Edit #2: tou getting so stern and saying to leave you if i ever treat you like that made me cry (a good cry). You absolutely love her and hold yourself to such a loving standard for her and yourself. Holy shit i needed that.
I came over from TikTok and love you guys. I might have a stupid question, but would love to hear your take. We are unable to have a full traditional marriage because we just can’t afford it at this point. We send our kids to private school and I bring the health insurance. We are Christians that follow a “traditional” roll, but not the negative kind that some associate with Christian males being d!cks and not loving their wives. All that to say, is it still possible to live they way you guys do but both being tired from work and such. We have to work on communication and a lot of my past trauma, but could we get to a place you guys are, not resenting each other after 14 years together
I would love some book reccomendations
caught the end will watch it from beginning !!
Thanks!
I have awful bpd thank you for this advice on the email towards Christ about borderline
Great advice 😊 great couple ❤
I’ve been working since I was 15. Now I am a month shy of 25 and I live with my mom. Do I wish I could move out on my own in my own safe place? Absolutely I dream if it everyday.
That being said I’ve been a full time college student and working full time since I was 17. With no financial help from my mom. I pay for my books, my classes which to some may not seem like a lot. But one textbook costs me $300 at least. So while I agree with you that we should start working young, and move out by 18. I just don’t see how it’s possible, there are times I can’t even afford to put gas in my car. I would’ve graduated in 2021 if I didn’t have to work so much. Yet financially it’s still not a not. It’s like working two full time jobs and instead of getting paid for one, I have to pay them.
I am not trying to come off as rude or anything like that. I guess I’m trying to say not all young people in their 20’s who do live with their guardians is not because they want to. Sometimes it’s our only option.
Not every person has the same conditions, you're obviously doing the best you can to set yourself up for success. I don't think they're trying to cover every single situation, because of course they can't cover every situation. For the textbook situation, try to look in your erea for groups that sells used textbooks. In the case they're visibly written on or used, you can erase stuff or make your own cover and pretend to just customize your stuff so that you're not clocked by your teacher if it's a problem. Some apps can help with budgeting. Maybe ask for a raise, explaining why you're deserving of it (responsibilities, experience etc). Try to look at some financial advice on TH-cam on how to save more (carpooling etc ...). Hang on in there, because your degrees are probably worth what you're doing, and don't put yourself in a bad situation or mindset if your situation is what's possible and what's working for you.
Starting a little late on your stuff, but as soon as I can, I'm joining the patreon.. single mom, who was raised in a "can't rely on men" house. I've always tried to be the alpha... I don't want to be
I only ever hear my girlfriend begin a conversation with "I need to tell you something..." when the next thing out of her mouth is "I think I have a crush on you..." 🤣🤣🤣
It’s the simple fact that without you and your wife we wouldn’t have knowledge having bpd and not able to get therapy or meds because of my job and my job doesn’t offer it either it’s things like this that help I’m trying to redirect my thoughts because you relate having bpd and the splits and anger outbursts it makes me feel less alone
Hi! Love your guys content!! ♥️♥️ When you guys have some time, I would LOVE a list of self help books you guys have read and enjoyed. I’m currently in the middle of Surrendered Wife and it has helped so much. I also have 2 others from Laura waiting on my desk for when I’m finished. So, I would love to stack up more that you guys suggest 😁 Thank you!!
Our self help reading is all over the place. Some of it is relationship specific others are man specific and what not.
The Surrendered Wife The empowered wife by Laura Doyal
For Women Only For Men only - Shaunti Feldhahn
The proper care and feeding of marriage The proper care and feeding of Marriage -Dr Laura Schlessinger Love and Respect - Dr Emerson Eggerichs
Worth of her trust - Stephen Aterburn, Jason B Martinkus
I hear you - Michael Sorensen
Communication in Marriage -Marcus Kusi, Ashley Kusi
@@2bebetter Any and all are appreciated. Thank you so much for getting this so quickly! ♥️♥️
How did you find a mentor you can trust?
Honestly how do I find someone like Chris? I'm okay with not having a fully traditional marriage but having someone who would protect me, care about me, and actually love me and want me would be nice.
Fk yes! When you guys talk about intimacy, I have always imagined it to include her shaving his head for him.
Jesus washed the feet of others and that was a deeply intimate thing. I love it!
How do you guys keep up with all of your content, other work, parenting, etc?
Time management. Lol
@@2bebetter I'm not good at time management.
If your partner comes home to a hostile environment, they will become a version of themselves they can give to you and still survive... heard that on a tiktok and it stuck with me.
I HATEEEE MEESSAGES. I hate telling every single person to either call me or wait till we’re face to face bc I read messages with the persons personality and some people botherrrrrrrrrrr me sooooo much 😭
Rn I’m texting but this person knows I’m mad bc of something I’ve talked about in person 3x within the 2 years, I hate people
I would absolutely love to genuinely be friends with you! I plan on subscribing to your Patreon soon with the access to Discord.
I don't even know if you guys see comments from videos this far back, lol
We do. See you in there!
Your partner should be first. You were a couple before kids, and hope you will be when the kids leave.❤it! I am starting from episode 1 and wow, I agree with so much and I am being a better wife and person. I compliment my husband and thank him more. I see some things i was doing and i am making changes. Thank you both for sharing!
One of the main reasons i love the podcast is bc before my bf i didnt do things to submit in anyway making his plate was a big one and with my bf i want to be the way peaches is to chis and giving me some thing to help me better explain it to others is amazing
Peaches you know he loves you right! ❤
Fuck what society says as far as I'm concerned you two are one of the the healthiest versions of this type of relationship.
And like you said it's not on you if other women pick shitty men.
1:13:10 Some educators don’t care enough to be educated
I watch you guys on tik tok love your videos
You already side rail. Just do it!!!
In the email about the guy's ex gf being in the vehicle and having her phone hooked up to it via bluetooth reminds me of something I saw on reddit some years back. If someone thinks their partner is cheating, take their phone and drive around to where they know they have "close friends" and see if the phone connects auto to their wifi lol. To be fair thats not an automatic red flag, but if there is concerns of trust going on, and that happens at some cute friends place they spend a lot of time at, little bit suss
Positive intimacy is the perfect verbage
AMEN! ❤ 1:09:05
1:37:00. I like you that you are being raw with your speech Fucken right
I love the Tattoos shirt! ❤
Chris, how do I find a mentor like that. BECAUSE i need someone like you to help me. Ive got about 25k in credit cards m9stly from unexpected car maintance be8ng 7500 and moving my gf from wisconsin to here end all costing me another 10. Althought im als9 a disabiled vet at 60% and a trucker locally making 900-1200 a week. I am in need of someone who can help me with some realistic goals and finaclial advice. If you read this id appreciate some knowledge on how to become a better person. P.S. im 26 and feel like im wasting valuable time.
I’ve always told myself “I forgive you. I hope and pray you achieve everything you want in life. Just stay the hell away from me.”
I hate how my love folds towels so I never ask him too and I tell him that he doesn’t get to fold them he can do all the other laundry to help me just not the towels
I honestly wish I has I friend like you peaches! Like a real women that is ok with telling me that I am being a dumb ass and I need to fix my bs. I don't keep friend much because I m not a yes friend I won't tell you just what you want to hear.
My sister was raped and the guy got 3 years. My brother got caught with drugs and he got 7years 😢
I wanna be your friend peaches. I don’t really talk to people or unload on people so I’d love to just be friends lol!
You guys lose me on the decompress time after work. My husband has a nice office job. I stay home with 2 kids under 2. The second he walks in the door he better grab one of the kids. I’ve been in the trenches all day long with my children. I’m not going to stay in it for 30 extra minutes so my husband can “adjust” to the chaos
I don’t see why y’all can’t be silly and seeing dance “movies and make a bunch of crazy jokes and do the stuff you do now because me personally that would just make it 1000 times better. Just saying.
I'd love to be your friend 😭 I have no friends and no family. I have my boyfriend but no girl friends 🥲 your relationship and our relationship is so similar I feel, I feel really comfortable with you and would love if I could be someone you feel safe with 🫶 if not, that's totally fine, just would like you to know I'm here ♥️
Are you on patreon? And the 2bebetter discord group?
Im now 31 i havent had sex since i was 22
I will never lower myself to pay for a prostitute not putting thoes women down but I will not give up like that
I got fixated on the child labor laws, if you want to go back and look at this for the realization of how the government throws a finger to children in the U.S.
I got this information from dol.gov/agencies/whd/ state/child-labor.
This is general 16-18y/o
FL (because this is your state) 8-30-6 (specifications on site) during school year, not allowed to schedule after 11pm or before 6:30 am during school year.
GA (my home state) NONE! No restrictions🤯
AL (where I am currently) none for day, not allowed to schedule before 5am or after 10pm during school year.
There’s a lot of notes I have taken about all your previous full-length podcast videos, these are helping me to realize more of my mistakes and taking greater accountability for myself than I previously have in the past. I am working my way through the rest and I hope to continue to gain perspective and motivation to continue my journey. Thank you both! I hope this isn’t weird, just wanted to say that I am proud of the accomplishment you both have achieved with this podcast😊