Did you know that there are a few types of love, but only one lasts a lifetime? Curious to know? Watch this video: th-cam.com/video/To3DVfPf2-4/w-d-xo.html Disclaimer: This video is designed to be for educational purposes only and not to suggest that these signs mean that you have really given up on finding love for good or that you should if you are feeling like this. But to help you become more aware of your fears and mental blockages so that you can make changes in your life. Reach out to people you trust if you want to talk about how you are feeling.
I remain single because tbh, having crushes and dating people takes a lot out of me. Feeling emotions THAT deeply drains all of my energy. It’s exhausting
YES. I have limerence (maybe you do too? Look it up, there's a good blog on it) and feeling THAT deeply, all the time, is literally life-draining for me. It's like I'm older, I grew out of videogames and I grew out of "love" too. But heck maybe one day I will settle for Mr. "good enough" because I gotta procreate.
Same. But if you love truly and don’t think that you must have the same back it’s just showing you that you love genuinely. That’s a start. Don’t give up on that. This kind of love is the most beautiful, it’s one of your most powerful virtues. You just have to learn what kind of people you attract and what kind of people you want to attract. And work on your boundaries-if that’s the case. Like if you give too much. It will bring you closer to that kind of a person you need. Because we attract what we are.
1.If a date doesn’t go well or as planned you just shut it down. 2. You don’t take opportunity to meet new people anymore. 3. You feel jealous when you see or around other couple. 4. You’ve got into head that everyone is playing games. 5. You may consider settling for someone you don’t love or you have unrealistic expectations. 6. You feel you’re unable to love another person deeply.
Despite all this social media it definitely feels like there is a loneliness epidemic. I actually consider my friends who have partners or marriages extremely lucky. To even experience base level romance, boyfriend/girlfriend is lucky from my perspective.
I used to feel that way until I realized there were some positive things about being single and that not all couples are happy. So, whenever I feel lonely or feel like I'll never find someone, I remind myself that there are worse things in life than being single. For example, I got the chance to study abroad for a semester due to a scholarship. While I still felt like a loser for not being married or even having a boyfriend, the moment my friends who were married/had kids heard I was traveling abroad for a semester, they expressed how jealous they were because they said their significant others would never let them travel anywhere like that. And many of them ended up breaking up years later due to how toxic the relationships were. I would still like a loving romantic relationship one day, but I know there are worse things in life than being single too and try to keep it in perspective.
Social media has made all things worse. People care about and pursue people that are not real or are too far away instead of focusing on those around them. And specially women get SO much attention from SO MANY men they are always tired and have no patience for men at all. Happens from time to time to attractive men as well (although I'm mostly harrassed by gay men...being heterosexual myself)
Ive been in one, it was last year, and honestly I dont even know if it was a legitimate relationship... I truly cant tell(still) if she actually had feelings or if she was just using me..
Yes actually, after seeing so much of hate and betrayal in this world , anyone can lose faith in love..I wish that everyone is doing good with their mental health in this pandemic.
There may be some good and some bad but that doesn't matter, the only thing you matter is to do what you want, it may to much negativity in life, but that doesn't mean we should be like that, we can become who we want to be. And don't just hope there is more good people but to be like them. Let's keep spreading love and positivity to every where, to everyone. I hope everyone is doing ok and have a happy life, cause life is to short to worry about. ^^. So keep going.
I'm 35 and about to turn 36. Love is something I'm giving up on. Every single girl I've tried to get with, hass all said the same thing. "Thank you for being so nice, but I'm just not interested." It's the same thing over and over again. For years. I'm tired of no one liking me, I'm tired of one-sided relationships, I'm tired of never ever being the person someone likes. I'm always the one who likes someone, but they're never the ones that like me. I'm giving up on relationships, I've accepted that I'll be alone till the day I die. 36, 38, 42, 50, 60+ Statistically, there are some that will be alone their whole lives. I'm accepting that I'm just one of the "lucky few."
It's the thing. You are too nice and women don't like that. Also, you want love too much and it's visible, even if you think it isn't visible. Women don't like that. And i'm the same way. I'm 40. I had relationship 5 years ago, but she left me really badly. I know a guy who always wants to be just alone. But everybody seeks his attention. He left a girl he spent years with and now he is with another and has child with her. He didn't even want it. He didn't want a child and not even to jump into another relationship after the last one. And that's exactly it. Everybody wants to be with him, because he wants to be alone. It is extremely weird, but that's how it is. It's like we are living in some kind of twisted matrix or something and i wanna wake up.
I'm not a breath of fresh air because my 15 year marrage is in jeopardy and I'm at a huge loss loosing my loved one. But the brighter side is hoping that we find our selves in this spiritual journey on this earth. I pray that we all can find peace in these uncertain times. Amen
@@giuseppeprofiti6823 aww ok every one veiw is different thank on how they explain things..I guess it was little deep...AND MAYBE FUNNY..it's was ment for good... But thanks
I'm getting older now and I'm accepting the possibility on being alone forever. The cards I'm dealing with is definitely not in my favor so I appreciate seeing happy couples around me because at least i know that it exists.
For me personally: 1. Not looking anymore 2. Letting obvious opportunities pass by even opportunities for a casual hook up 3. Sex is no longer of much importance to have 4. You feel like dating will eat into your personal time and energy for yourself 5. You feel that love loyalty sacrifice and respect are lofty standards that noone can achieve 6. Im becoming increasingly more content dealing with the challenges of being single rather than having to deal with the headaches of being in a relationship
Trust me bro Not even a single aspect of my life is going right I don't know what it is But it happened to me all of a sudden And i feel like I'm worthless and i should fucking commit suicide
@@aniruddhadewanji7266 Don't do that. It may seem that there is no hope for a better tomorrow, but you cannot and should not give up. Because until the sun stops rising, there will always be the chance that things will get better and it would be an awful shame for you to miss it.
Been told “no” and “you’re nice but-“ so many times that I just don’t try anymore. Trying to land a date feels like trying to get a job interview for something I’m not qualified for.
The reason I’ve given up is ironically because I’ve never once been rejected: instead, I’m the one who’s never been chosen. I’m always nothing more than an option, someone they want to keep around just in-case their first choice doesn’t work out. Edit: As of October 2024, I’m currently engaged to my high school crush (our wedding is set for New Years, which is also when I proposed to her in NYC) and we’re also expecting a beautiful baby girl. I know this may sound a bit cliche, but love really does find you when you least expect it to. Even if you give up on it, it’ll never give up on you.
Personally, feeling the most I ever was and I'll ever be is the perfect best friend "great", "funny" , "reliable", "sweet", "smart", "generous", "honest", "stubborn", "mysterious" guy... How can I believe any of that when there is nobody. Who's fucking there when it's about romantic relationshipe huh ?!! What am I in the end ? What do I do wrong in the end ? Should I just pretend I didn't love anybody If my love wasn't real, how does it comes to hurt so much inside ... I gave up, because I feel if I ever invest slightly more feelings into this, I'll just break from the inside It make no sense to me an if I happen to love someone, I just go away. I estimate they deserve better, so that I won't be hurt and they'll be happier
No matter how many times I "put myself back out there" after being encouraged and pumped up by my closet supporters, the results are always the same and I end up feeling worse every time.
Am I the only one who haven't experience being in a romantic relationship since birth but already given up on it? Edited: 2 years guys. This comment has been reaching those people who feel the same way as me. Sad, but I'm glad I'm not alone. I wanna hug you all. Ik I'm not the most positive person here and ironic it maybe, take courage. Thanks for the likes and replies but I don't want us to multiply more. 😅 I'm still not in a relationship if you just wanted to know the update from two yrs ago.
You might be aromantic. When I think about romantic stuff it’s always in the context of some kind of media like a show, but in my own life if people try to be romantic I will probably react by getting angry and not expressing it so basically not fun time
@@microwavebrain1035 I don't think so. I know that when I love it's deep so I'm probably protecting myself. I have a big problem with trusting people since you get vulnerable when you open your heart to someone.
Same. Feels weirder and weirder every year as people settle around you. I blame bullying, made me afraid to open up to people. That and introversion...
came here to say this I really question whether or not going out and meeting strangers specifically for romantic purposes is the best way of going about it. I feel like getting to know someone as a friend first and then taking said friendship to a higher level is the real way to go about it. I mean, if you can't simply hang out and enjoy another person's company the way you would with a friend, how are you expecting to spend the rest of your life with them? But, of course, a lot of people see things differently. I've just accepted that my approach is that of an outlier, and as such, it's going to be a while before I meet someone I might seriously be able to call a romantic partner.
@@dandarr5035 I agree 100%, my problem tho is that im introverted, how tf am I supposed to find me a introverted biddie when we dont go out much lol, except for work obviously
It just takes a toll on you when you feel like you’re doing all the right things: being respectful, being kind, being genuine and yet still people will end up using you or just walking away because of some other reasons. It’s really draining and definitely makes you question if you should even put anymore effort into getting to know someone new again
Story of my life, it's the worst when they use you and come back saying they missed you when you know all they missed was your wallet. Or when they only got with you hoping for a quick roll in the bed and really wanted nothing more from you
I feel that. I was with only five guys in the last 18 years and yes, I gave up on "love". The first one cheated on me with another guy. The second one cheated with one of his friends, because she had bigger breasts. The third one hit me. The fourth one was a controlling choleric. The last one stole money and things from me to support his weed addiction. I also found out later that he cheated several times. None of these relationships lasted longer than 8 months. I don't have faith in men anymore.
Context: This took place at a military training school I’m a 23 year old guy and I recently told a girl at my school that I liked her, and it was the first time I had ever told anyone that I liked them. Two of my close buddies gave me encouragement to tell her, so I ultimately did. It felt somewhat good to get it out, but it caused me to start acting more awkward around her to the point where I started to creep her (and her roommate) out. Fortunately, she’s really nice and we were able to have things mostly go back to normal, but yeah. Telling a girl that I like her is a mistake I’ll never make again
Nah, you did the right thing by telling her, otherwise you would lose sleep overthinking if she likes you or not. Now you have the answer and can move on.
Reminds me of my high school days. I had a lot of trouble connecting with people, let alone the opposite sex. Then I met this girl at summer school. We exchanged emails, and eventually started hanging out (she lived in a different town, about an hour away). When I finally asked her to go steady with me, something just "flipped" in my brain, and I went from being funny and playful to serious and over-emotional. And clingy. And easily jealous. It wasn't until years after she broke up with me that I had an epiphany reading through our old emails, and I could see the jarring shift in how I was behaving. I thought to myself, 'Christ, it's no wonder she left! I don't even want to read this nonsense, and I'm the one who typed it!' But I don't want to end this on a bad note. There's a lot of things I learned about myself over the years. I'm a long way from my high school days (I'm 37 now), but I've had some good relationships, some rocky relationships, some "that'll do for now" relationships, and some that never went past a date or two, for one reason or another. Some of the failures were my fault, some of them were theirs, some of it was shared. But bit by bit it helped me develop into a man that sees the worth and potential in himself, and can make his mind up if he sees potential in a possible partner or if they'll just waste his time (yes, guys can say "no" too). I'll share a few things that have helped me along the way. If you don't feel these would be useful, then you don't have to take them, but they've helped me develop a better understanding of myself and others. 1. I have little respect for the PUA community, but the only PUA I have any respect for is David DeAngelo. While most PUAs try to teach a bunch of "tricks" to try manipulating a woman into bed (which is just downright scummy and most women will see through it from a mile away anyway), David focuses on *building yourself up* to becoming a more attractive person naturally. Based on your original post, I'd say to take a look at his Deep Inner Game program, which is focused on working through your personal issues and any past trauma that might be holding you back, not just in your romantic relationships but your life as a whole. That and a good therapist (emphasis on "good" -- I've had some $#!+ty therapists over the years) will make you unstoppable. 2. Someone in a similar vein but coming from a different direction is Marni from the Winggirl Method. She talks about human attraction from a woman's perspective, and shares a lot of the same philosophy as David. I know a lot of the, ahem, 'nice guys' in the PUA community don't like taking advice from women, but where's the logic in that? "Asking a woman for dating advice is like asking a fish how to catch it." Yeah, and asking a guy who doesn't have a clue what he's doing for dating advice is like asking a guy with a soldering gun how to weld the Brooklyn Bridge together. 3. There's an amazing book called King Warrior Magician Lover by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette talking about the human psyche, relating it to the common archetypes we've seen in pop culture over the generations, and expanding on the work of psychologist Carl Jung. It's been out of print for like 30 years, but the audio book has been posted on TH-cam several times. I highly recommend it. One of the best self-help books ever written
Check out the black pill. Either wheat waffles or itv. It is the truth, trust me. It’s not your fault you are single. This proves it. If you were Chad she would’ve been interested
If you love somebody, you should totally tell them! It's a brave thing to do, but one remarkable thing either way. You just have to work through that shame of loving somebody and what caused you to be creepy that one time. We only get one life, you're already living it to the fullest!
Honestly getting it out and telling them is gonna be your best bet. I recently told the girl I liked that I liked her and I don't expect her to like me back. She told me she doesn't feel the same but that I was nice to be honest with her. After doing that I feel so much better. However the one difference between you and me is that I probably will never see said girl again after this.
I've witnessed too many broken relationships to not want one. I've experienced terrible dates, being in love and being crushed afterwards, I've seen divorces, couple fights, and so much more. Seeing my loved person marry another and have kids definitely crushed me. It's hard to move on. I want a relationship but I don't trust people.
I was in the same boat, and eventually after a bad betrayal just gave up and stopped caring about love. Eventually you'll feel happier single. I'm not saying don't ever try to fall in love but I'm 42 and so far what I've seen is real true love is a pipe dream that everyone wants and few people ever find. People think being married will make them happy. If your not happy individually by yourselves your not going to last in a relationship where bolth people are relying on their significant other to make them happy. Relationships like marriage are about sharing your lives with each other, bolth the good and the bad. And unfortunately far too many guys and girls have unrealistic expectations in relationships, and many try to break it off or stop being faithful the second something goes bad. There is no such thing as a perfect happily ever after relationship without problems, how you work through those problems is what makes or breaks a good relationship. For me I'm happy being single and imo too old to be dating anyway so it's fine by me.
,@@joelmorgan1871 I don't think you're too old for that, you just don't worry about it. Choosing to be with another person doesn't have to be forced...it just happens
dont you worry about your ex having kids......when it comes down, he/she better be ready financially to raise em! I always have this joke about it.. "the best thing about having kids, is making em".
I'm almost 23 (female) and I've never dated anyone, never even been on a date. Throughout my life, my crushes have only been one-sided. Dating is something that seems unrealistic for me. I'm coming to the conclusion that love only exists in books and movies. Liking someone and them actually liking you back is weird to me and I don't see how that's possible.
Kinda same. I am a guy who turned 22 just 4 weeks ago and never had a girlfriend before and its kinda bothering me a lot. I use dating apps but rarely get matches by some 18-23 age girls who ends up ghosting or unmatching me for no reason. I do chat with some girls on Instagram whom I knew in high school and they are all 20-22 year olds. I am having a very good chat with a girl who was 2 years my junior in our school days. Now she is 20 and I had the best chat with her for the past 3 days compared to any other girl who lives in my city. But I also like another girl who was my childhood friend when we were in elementary school in 2008-2011. Now she is 21 and only 5-6 months younger than me but we hardly chat much on IG as she doesn't reply to my last message for a week or 2.
Depends on your gender a lot. If you're a guy, girls your age are out of high school so their dating options expand out to older men. Which is lopsided heavily against you because they've got careers, stability, experience, ect. If you're not getting any dates or matches, it's not because you're going to be forever alone. It's because you're entering the hardest dating bracket for guys age-wise. Use that time to improve yourself instead.
I'm 18 (male) and I'm in the same exact place, it feels so alien sometimes. It really hurts when you feel like you're incapable of experiencing any form of intimacy, It leaves me empty and anxious. But love is real, and I wish you the best of luck in finding it
I know exactly how you feel, I'm 24 years old and I haven't dated anyone, nor have I had my first kiss. I have a hard time relating to people, especially women, and the romance game is not for me. My parents say that I may have ASD since this type of behavior has been present since I was a child. I think that's one of the main reasons I've been rejected all my life and I'm so tired of looking for love that I've given up indefinitely. I'm trying to focus on myself right now, like working out, finishing college, and earning some money, but the feeling of being alone is still getting to me.
I'm 30, never been in a relationship and have had very few intimate encounters. I am sociable and people like me, and I'm surprised that I haven't met someone yet. At times this last year I've felt a bitterness, even blaming statistics, that I really should have a girlfriend by now just by chance. Bitterness is of course making the downward spiral worse. I've recently started to take courses in couple-dancing, and now I go to Friday social dancing. It gives me hope and makes me happy, knowing that I'm visible. Never giving up. Try something new like I did! Edit: Unluckily, the 3 people I did feel a special love for were already in long term relationships/engaged and not really eligible.
Guuuuurl for Real - I did the same thing, looked at Erik’s picture. You’re a good looking guy! Maybe think about why you haven’t pursued more relationships - flings or serious. It will give you some insight into your values. I think many women will appreciate a man who hasn’t spent his 20s jumping in and out of bed. What are common interests you would like to share with a romantic partner? If you love books, find a bookstore that has an interesting clientele. If you like chamber music, buy season tickets. I had a friend who signed up for cowboy dancing to meet women. It was something he always wanted to do and met his wife that way. Good luck to you!
Same here. I never had a boyfriend. There was a guy I liked in high school but I also had a friend who also liked him so I decided I wanted to remain friends. She offered to let me date her ex but I didn’t want to feel pitied by people so I declined. Now I wish I had been more forceful and vocalized my attraction to him. Maybe then I would actually have actually experience in love. The problem is I’m very shy and I don’t really know how to interact with people outside my family. Also I have very esoteric interests and I’m in the South right now so I don’t feel comfortable with actually going to meet people (I’m a Neodruidess by belief but I can’t build an altar because my house is small and I’m afraid my family and I will become victims of hatred if anyone finds out) who share the same interests as me. It was easier up north because I didn’t feel so in danger of being proud about my beliefs but where I’m living right now…I basically have a lot of regrets and it doesn’t help I’m older than most of the students who are in the college I’m attending so I can’t really relate to them. I wish there was a neopagan group on campus and I was younger. It would be a lot easier to talk to people that way.
Ive always been good at giving love, but I struggle immensely with accepting it. I think I have such low self love, that I genuinely dont believe others can love me unconditionally. I assume everyone will leave once they get bored. Its kind of crazy how unconditionally I give love, but how hard it is for me to accept that sometimes others can do the same for me.
I feel the exact same way to a point I start distancing myself because I feel that once they know all of me they will get bored or me. I tent to tell people that especially telling them that nothing is permanent
I won't ever get married. It's just so hard to believe that a person will stay loyal to you and like you for the rest of their life. There's lots of pretty girls out there.
When it comes to true love, it is false to believe that someone’s looks will secure the relationship. No matter how beautiful you are on the outside, it doesn’t matter bc at the end of the day it’s your personality that will keep a lasting relationship.
True there are a lot of beautiful people out there, but remember looks will fade. After that…what will you have to offer? There’s got to be more than just appearance that keeps the relationship alive.
@@bbyxamy That is not correct. Sure, even a beautiful woman can fail at making a relationship last, but it's physical beauty (esp. when it comes to women) that will get you a relationship in the first place. Men are primarily interested in physical beauty. After that - i.e. if a woman fulfills this first requirement - they look at her personality. But beauty is still the point of entry. In other words: Yes, men are absolutely interested in a woman's personality. But they are only interested in personality in physically beautiful/hot women. There are exceptions to that rule, of course, but there are exceptions to everything.
@@24wallachian Amy Le was talking about true love, which is exactly the exception you are talking about. Well same way I can say women are only interested in personality in physically attractive/rich men. I guess your look rules them all, regardless of gender
The worst thing is when you two get along great, have a ton of fun together, like a lot of the same things, trust each other with your insecurities, make each other laugh and feel better when you're down, and they still don't even like you that way. Really drives home that there's nothing you can improve on and that you're just doomed to fail
This is what gave me a moment of clarity to understand everything I had ever been told about love and relationships was a complete and total lie. "Be yourself." Is the stupidest piece of advice of all time. It's be so attractive people throw themselves at you regardless of how you are portraying yourself or be stupid rich with the free time to spend it all on them. Nothing else matters.
I have 5/6 of these signs.. After a very long-term relationship that ended in a horrible way, this video helped me realise that I've unintentionally given up on love once and for all.
I literally relate, I had a narccistic ex who mentally abused me and I was abused growing up as a child in every way possible so it makes it rlly hard to connect to other ppl, especially being demisexual
@@Abner-em6ov thank you for caring about children in africa ig but its not the right place to mention that you can see what's the video is about so what were you expecting in the comments? Idk who hurt you to say this but i hope ur ok
From what I've seen of dating apps, it's about as exciting as browsing boxes of cereal at the supermarket. I know it works for some, but I wonder about those people.
Aww... DON,T FORCE it ..LET GOD WORKS IT..OUT. JUST kNOW WHAT YOU are looking for..but if you close your self.off it.. won't happen..get dressed UP AND GO . about your DAY and God will let.. it. HAPPEN... good luck..
I admit, i will forever be a romantic, but at this point in my life, im learning there's no one really out there that can fulfill my internal and external desires and thats okay. Instead of questioing why, ive learned to "date" myself. There's so much to me i never knew and wouldn't know if there was other energies around me. I'm convinced im here to completely fall in love with myself and the Divine, not in a selfish way, but in a deep, soul path type of mission. It tragically beautiful and I'm proud of who i am today, standing in my full authenticity. On days i yearn for human embrace, i just watch Divorce Court and boy, that brings me back to myself real quick😂go and love your own selves people, it'll all be ok.
@@PurpleFlames87 I stopped putting others expectations of me above my own, learned to drop the guilt I carried, I study human psychology, behaviors, traumas, codependency, narcissism, etc. I became acutely aware of how I internally spoke to myself and changed those negative thought patterns, I isolated myself away from socializing and began creative endeavors, like growing plants, reading, dancing, singing, I talk to the unforseen force in my beliefs, I began being intentional in my interactions, with a mental focus of empathy and kindness, especially towards those who attempt to sway my flow out of my own current. It's not been easy, but it's best I've ever done just for myself. It's a continual exploration of within and the honoring of every single one of the qualities you discover in the exploration.
Psych2Go: "#1: When a date doesn't go well..." Me: *"Oh, you mean those things where someone agrees to spend time alone with you somewhere? Must be nice..."*
I was thinking the same thing. Who goes on dates? How can I contact these people? I’ll pay for a dinner, even if I do get ghosted afterwards. Just to say I got out.
@@crimson_rain_sought_flower you know, it's fine to feel like this. I am too sometimes and often keep them inside me. But at the end it only affects me and that too badly. It's hard to let out feelings. But do try to talk it out with someone you feel who'd understand you or someone you trust. Unknowns can be good listeners too so do talk it out with someone. It will make you feel better. Hope you are doing good and remember I'm proud of you. I don't know you but remember I'm proud of you. Virtual hugs to everyone who needs it. Keep smiling :)
I don't bother with relationships anymore. They just feel like a waste or energy and time. I would rather be alone and keep my independence. Aro & Ace pride peeps.
@@adoroselatte I'm also ace but I didn't feel like mentioning it in my comment cuz it's more directed towards romance instead of romantic and sexual relations. Aro and ace pride!
It’s not necessarily a bad thing. I focus more on myself, friendships and love outside of a relationship. I don’t think we all have to constantly look for love in a romantic relationship.
But then it gets to a point where you will want to settle down and emotionally attach to someone, and when everyone you know is doing that and you're not able to, it starts to negatively effect your thought process
@@xrstevenson That's not necessarily true. Some people don't really want a relationship, and that's okay too. In the end, even if you do you still need to be happy with yourself first. If you expect a relationship to solve every problem you force unrealistic expectations which aren't fair to the people you date.
My parents remind me that real love exists. They have been married for 40 years and are obsessed with each other. My mum stays up late to have dinner when my Dad works late. My dad gets up early even on his days off to make my mum breakfast. They race each other to get their 10,000 steps. I’ve never heard them raise their voice at the other but I have heard them laugh so much they have to sit down. I was at work and rang home to see how they were and they just kept flirting with each other! The way they look at each other like they are the others happiness gives me life. My mum is working from home at the mo (COVID restrictions) and my dad makes her tea and lunch and sits with her on her break. They are the cutest couple I know.
That's rare. Most relationships don't last, so i'll play it safe by ignoring all women. why date or marry when it'll eventually end? Seems like a big waste of time. Might as well do other things in life
There is also a guy who won in the lottery 6 times or so. So by your logic, everyone will win the lottery 6 times if they try it. Sure there are some exceptions that win, but for most this is only a trap into darkness.
@@nerdinvader6740 bring up stuff that yall like or find a common interest. Take or dont take this advice I haven't had a gf ever, but thats how conversations with friends goes so idk.
I'm tired of never being enough to get into a relationship. I have fought with the desire of giving up, but I want to experience that side of our lives. I hope I can experience love that is beyond friendship or my parents.
“You feel that you are unable to love another person deeply” this one really got me choking. i feel so broken just by the thought of unable to open my heart to someone else. there's only one person i deeply in love with, but he betrayed me. the fact that he is also my bestfriend makes it even harder. im scared. i dont want to fall for anyone. never. the pain is too unbearable.
They hit the nail on the head with this one, I related to pretty much every single point here. I've never been in a relationship, but I've only ever seen unhealthy relationships in my life, enough times to the point that I'm starting to think that's what love looks like. Bad relationships between my dad and step mum, my mum and step dad, and more recently, a couple of friends of mine, all ended horribly. Sometimes I don't want to be in a relationship because I've only ever seen bad ones, so why would I want to be in one if it's going to cause me so much anguish.
Same here. Toxic love is all around me and I've experienced it firsthand too, to a degree. My trust just keeps lowering so to put my trust in a partner completely sounds terrifying, not to mention unrealistic.
i haven’t felt romantic attraction to anyone in a long time, but it’s not so bad. i’ve gotten good at being alone, almost to the point where having a partner seems burdensome. it would throw a wrench in my routine.
Same here, I’ve never really felt romantic attraction towards anyone ever, and I’m completely fine with that. I like being alone and I’m definitely more suited to it too. I might find ‘the one’ later on in life, but for now, I’m happy being single and I’m definitely going to stay this way for a while Glad to see you’re doing good :)
I’ve been Monk for 8 years, I’ve been single and I’ve enjoyed my peace as a single gentleman, yet whenever people ask me why haven’t you met someone yet or are you a closet gay or what’s wrong with you? I just wonder why people demonise single people? Yes there are those that are unlucky in love but then there are those that choose to be single to better themselves and I’m just really surprised why there’s such a dark matter based around the need to be loved when you should first learn to love yourself before others so you don’t feel those depressive episode sneak up behind you, take care of yourself first and foremost before trying to take care of someone else first then loving that person comes naturally.
@@jamesrocket5616 😂 no I should have explained myself I’m part of a likeminded philosophy group known as mgtow although it’s technically not a movement or a group it’s a mindset on men going their own way in life and simply choosing to improve themselves first and foremost before dating or marriage, some have even sworn off marriage because of the bankruptcy that comes with the divorce that follows suit, I hope that some what explains why I have sworn off Sex or Relationships😁
Humans are social creatures it is on the side to be single because by nature most people gravitate to relationships...though the single life can still be good because friends are the same, but most thoughts tend to lean romantically especially in women,
@@meanncat3050 We are a social creature that forms tribes. Single people can contribute equally as other adults but not have children which take more resources than give. And some single people, adopt and can still look after the others young. There is lots of room for differences in a social and complex species.
Thanks for this, I'm exactly like you. I don't see any sense in a romantic relationship, and I'm a woman so it's like a sin, when i say i dont want a boyfriend everyone just choke on their air.... Like?? I dont need anyone I'm happy with myself and i couldn't ask more, if someday I fall in love with someone (which I think is improbable since I've never had a crush in 7 years) I will not let that pass, i just want to be happy, im not depressive or dumb just for like loneliness.
True love is something not everyone can have. Be financially independent and live a healthy life. Treat yourself well and be good to others. It’s better to live alone than living with a toxic person.
Man, human being are like pandas at this point, geeze. Super depressing we are only here to work made up jobs, for made up money, to live in a box or a collextions of boxes waiting to go back to a box to turn to dust? The only time I feel happiness is when I have people around me I can trust, but as you get older those prospect vanish. thank goodness for your off spring but even they have lives they are trying to cultivate. But with out them life would be measurable. Ever person is not toxic, but how would you know if your not open to meeting other people? This maybe more advice for myself then you. Lol
It's even harder for someone who is an introvert, not that good looking and not comedic. The interactions itself is draining, based on my own experience people don't really look at you as love interest and lastly, imo the ability to make people laughs are the main thing people like.
Those traits describe me. I'm a big introvert, I know I'm not attractive whatsoever, and I don't have a funny bone in my body. I can't hardly talk to anyone I don't know face to face, without stumbling all over myself.
I'm happily married for 15 years, and I have got to say; dating today sounds like hell. I do not envy young adults in today's dating scene. Staring at phone screens, distant attentions, backwards roles, rampant self-centeredness, passive aggressive problem solving "skills", impossible/unrealistic standards, and combative attitudes to name a few things I've observed consistently over the years.
@@facuuu2809 I think he's on about gender roles in a relationship. Like what was normal for a male to do a female is now or is trying to do it and vise versa.
@@dantexonline4666 that's kinda a reductionist and not s good way of seeing things, we shouldn't follow archaic gender roles, principally not in relationships y'know, love doesn't work like that
Yeah, there's no doubt that it was easier when there was such a thing as confined dating pools. The internet age has brought upon the hookup and porn era, and if you have one or both of those, many are led to believe that a real relationship is too much of a hassle.
I don't believe I am designed to ever be in love. I am a great friend, educated, a great person, with a great personality as many people say about me. However, it feels like I failed with love. I don't believe I was made to have true unconditional love with anyone on a romantic level. As I cry accepting this reality of my life, I believe in love for others...just not for me.
It's incredibly fitting this video came to me now, yesterday I had a shitty day when it came to this, thanks to a family picture situation, basically everyone in my core family is married, with me being single the numbers are uneven, and the photographer just came in and said "Haha, this picture would be a little easier if you brought your girlfriend with you" Like gee yeah thanks for rubbing it in sir, the interesting thing about that is that his joke didn't make me angry, it didn't make me feel bad about the situation, I felt nothing because by this point I already accepted love is something I'll never find again, the fire I once had in my eyes for a soulmate is dead.
God that's so me. Especially since I can no longer have children. I feel like my chance at a true family is gone. Most people my age have already been married so I'm just some loser who hasn't. But I don't really feel like a loser anymore because I've accepted the fact that I'll be alone.
@@janejones7638 Dang that's rough, I'm only 21 and I'm afraid I might never have a family and children, although that fear is completely irrational at this time. People in my family tree naturally get married later in life (especially the men) so I just need patience.
Yeah, I feel that. My self esteem is so down the drain that I don't think I could actually believe that someone did love me. Love me in a romantic way, that is. I've tried to explain to my parents that there's a difference between them loving me and having a partner love me. They love me by virtue of being their son, I could be the biggest asshole and they'd still love me, it's biological rather than a choice. Romantic love is a choice, and therefore I place a lot more value on it.
I used to be like that. Then, I started therapy, taking care of myself and letting my true self out in the world. Now the situation is upsidedown. I think that nobody is my "right match" cuz I don't feel anyone at my level. Love sucks more than college
"The person you're looking for may not even exist" but "don't settle"...? Honestly all this did was confirm that some people just aren't going to experience real authentic love. And that those people aren't alone. We are alone, together, yay.
At the end of the day no one is perfect, we all have to settle. You just need to choose what you're willing to settle for and accept the shortcomings. Or, you know, be alone forever lol.
"the person you're looking for" no not may not exist. this person simply don't exist and never will because it's in your mind. oyu live in dreamworld and spit on anything that is not even remotely close to it. hence you don't know to know and appreciate others. they are only the mean to an end for you.
People won't experience real authentic love because it just don't exist. It's a fallacy. The best part of any relationship is the first 6-8months. After that it goes to hell and becomes a chore. A relationship should never be a chore. It should compliment your life, not complicate it.
@@unlimited971 Giving attention to your partner is the bare minimum. If you consider women annoying just for wanting attention from their partner, then you must've gotten little to no attention from others in the past and you could care less if they (your partner) got any, since you had to go through not receiving any attention. You may have experienced a bad relationship with the wrong person there, bud. Also, men nag all day long about things that bother them too, so it's a common thing between many human beings.
I've had nothing but trauma via romantic love. I've learned to love myself, and flourish. I no longer search for others to share my life with, and I am better for it
Timestamps for the future people: cat 0:46 1) If a date doesn't goes well or plan, you shut down 1:24 2) You don't take up opportunities to meet new people anymore 1:56 3) You feel jealous when you see or are around other couples 2:29 4) You have gotten it into your head that everyone is playing games 3:02 5) You may consider setting for someone you don't love or you have unrealistic expectations 3:39 6) You feel that you are unable to love another person deeply 4:24 cat 5:31
A lack of love isn't the reason why people break up. Love doesn't keep a relationship together. Respect, duty, accountability, loyalty to a community is what keeps a relationship together.
@jordypoe somebody you love should be able to compromise, talk things out, give you respect and loyalty. That’s like the bare minimum. A lover shouldn’t be i loyal to you, disrespect you and your wishes, and turn to scream at you whenever they’re upset. It’s pretty simple?
They forgot a few more: #7...You get tired of putting effort in and getting little to nothing in return. #8...You hear the "It's not you, it's me, I'm not ready for a relationship" speech then several weeks later you see them with someone else. Those are the two MAIN reasons why some to most of us have given up and stopped looking...we're better off by ourselves with our peace of mind and spirit. It's usually around that time where their new relationship starts falling apart around them and they try to come back to you because they realize they screwed up in a MAJOR way.
the "It's not you, it's me, I'm not ready for a relationship" - part I can relate to quite strongly - the last women I've been with told me she didn't want a relationship because she wanted to explore herself or some shit like this and then went into another relationship one or two months later - one year later she tried to be friends with me and complained about this relationship, thats how I found out. I was kinda shocked how she managed to make herself look this stupid and expects me to trust her in any way after this obvious lie
I've been in and out of 3 different relationships over a span of 10 years. All long-distance, all overseas. I feel that as an introvert, it's harder to just go out and meet someone. Bars and clubs are environments I don't like to be in, and yet they're some of the most recommended places for me to meet people. After 3 love experiences, which all ended horribly - one was a catfish, one was emotionally manipulative, and one was abusive - and having absolutely no luck on dating apps (which to me feel like the commodification of the human experience of love, and it feels so insidious), from people straight up lying to me, ghosting, being rude, whilst seeing others around you form relationships, while not necessarily an embittering experience, is definitely a dejecting one. Over time, I've grown a backbone, realised my worth, and, whilst I can definitely identify with a couple of points on this list, I know I have a lot of love to give. I'm deeply romantic and affectionate at heart, and as much as it can hurt, I want to share all that with someone. I suppose this whole comment is just me voicing to myself that, I haven't given up, I don't want to give up. But especially in modern society, and the culture around dating, it would be dishonest not to admit that finding love has become an emotionally tiring experience. Best of luck to everyone out there. You are all worthy of love, no matter what other may have done to make you feel otherwise, or no matter what you may think of yourself. Focus on "being" the right person, not just looking for them.
I gave up. When does it ever not hurt? How come you can spend weeks, months, years trying to make it work, I stopped playing video games for a woman, I barely saw any of my friends for about a year because she told me it seems childish to spend so much time with them and that she needs me at her side. I worked overtime for multiple months to help her pay debts she had - I did everything I thought I could somehow do for her. I was mad in love you see... Yet when she yelled at me more often, when she told me to calm down but I was barely speaking and she was filling the whole house with her voice... When I nearly had enough and told her that I can't accept it staying like that, and that I want us to work it out... She got louder again... At the start of the relationship she truly made my doubts go away, she showed me affection and that she trusted me... Yet in that moment, with a angry look in her face, she told me that she fears me, that she does not trust me - and in that moment my thoughts, my feelings, they just snapped. Colors faded in my perception, the woman I used to love above all else (within seconds) was just another woman to me. I sat down on the couch, motionless, at first without a single tear. I was just absolutely confused. All these great feelings, these months of looking in her face and seeing my eternal partner, and suddenly I realized she did not see me the same again, realized I was just as much a danger in her eyes as any other man she'd see on the street, that I was together with a woman that despised me if the mood fits. Shortly thereafter, I heard her soften her voice, asking me if everything is okay - and I looked at her in her eyes, still confused about this inner conflict, and told her that I don't know if I love her anymore, that it feels like she just broke my heart. Suddenly she looked worried. Suddenly she sounded worried. Sat down next to me, took me in her arms and apologized, but I just couldn't anymore, her touch felt threatening, felt like a bribe, it felt as though she just didn't want to lose her asset. She must've realized then that something inside me changed in that instant, honey became her words, sorrow her intention - but my heart already felt cold. I wanted to punch myself so badly, I wanted to hurt the one responsible for this mess, who gave up over a year of close contact with friends I had since we've been children, who has barely seen any family of himself that whole time, who made himself a slave to her love. I stood up and told her the way it is. That what she said to me hurt me so deeply that now I've felt completely empty emotionally. She cried, I didn't want her to cry and I wanted to somehow assure her - but I couldn't. I couldn't lie to her nor myself, and thought that the sooner it hurts the earlier she'll stop crying because of me. When I told her that it is over, she cried even more heavily. With no comfort I could've given her in that moment, I went and packed the few things I had at her house. Clothes, hygiene articles, some belongings - midway in she comes up the stairs, red face but dried up, and told me to get my shoes and jacket and that she'll pack the rest of my things in a box to carry my stuff in (I've been living about a 3 hour drive from her place originally and could come back to living with my brother for a bit of time). That whole time I was conflicted inside myself, I felt bad for her, felt angry about some of her behavior, I wanted to save myself and yet I despised myself from the bottom of my heart... She spoke to me shortly from up the stairs, angrily yelled again that now she sees that I only used her for her body - in that moment, I was both sure that leaving her was the right decision, but also it hurt so fkin deep... I never was such a guy, I wrote her poems when I had free time, she was the first in the relationship to make a move on me after I've been very careful not to rush her in any way, and yet I realized - in her story to anyone, I'll probably end up the same way she told me about her exes. About these secretly twisted men who abused her so much, supposedly. Every single one was evil pretty much, and now and despite everything, in the eyes of the woman I used to love more than myself, I turned into a monster, some scum of a man... Just a few more shoelaces... Tears started dropping on my shoes, my hands started shaking even harder - she told me to hurry up, I tries - she opened the door, I was nearly done... When she stepped behind me and before I fully got up, she kicked/ram/pushed me out the door frame, making me fall out the door into the frontyard and threw the box with my stuff after me. I slowly got up, took the box and slowly went to my car. The people in the neighborhood, or atleast those currently on the street, all stared at me in silence upon me entering the public space. I sat down the box on the passenger's seat, went around and sat in the driver seat. I thought to myself... It's over... I got away... I won't have to see her again... Some of these thoughts felt as though I was released from imprisonment and yet, as I was thinking that it's good that it's over, finally full sadness broke out. I probably cried for half an hour atleast. With my face sore and red, I calmed myself, gotta focus on the street. Thought about how likely I'd have an accident if I wouldn't focus, and I was sure that I'd just end myself then and there were I to harm someone due to drama and sadness - the drive back was an emotionless, seemingly never ending grey world. This whole deal left me scarred for the first few years after, and even now I cannot help but appreciate the highs and form a ball of sadness while laying in bed due thinking about the low's. Not everything was bad, I cannot lie to myself that other than some really toxic behavior, well other than that she was the first woman and the only ever since that I never doubted emotionally. At some time, I really thought I found her, my true and only partner. I was already struggling with love prior to that relationship, now just the mention of love in regards to me either annoys or let's me slowly slide into the next depressing few days. I don't think I will ever be able to love again. I don't think I'd even want that. I don't know if I wouldn't might draw similarities to this past and I also don't want to be unfair to someone else this way. No, others are happy if they are together with others, that's how it always was, that's how it always turned out to be. I renewed the bonds of friendship with 3 of my best friends, turns out it wasn't even that hard, 2 of them were as though nothing ever changed, 1 was a little sassy drama queen but soon joked about how I need to pay for these past crimes leaving him as a friend by buying the next pizza. :') So yeah, while I'm emotionally scarred, my friends and overall close family members are enough for me to be generally happy. Other than that, I don't know if I could survive this situation 2.0 - already just got the curve, and getting the curve in this context means living my life with quite a lil bit of depression just barely kept out of view and be a functioning human being while enjoying these few times with friends and family. Anyway, sorry for dumping a bit of trauma in here, but I think it helped me a bit, even if it hurts rn in the moment - medicine tends to be bitter, and if I don't get this off my chest somehow it just might pain me more over a longer period (ain't no wish to trauma dump fully unto my friends, they know the gist but I also don't want to take a constant emotional toll on them). So yeah, ima gon live my forseeable life as a loveless man trying to be there for those that count in his life. 2 of my best friend's already got children by now and I fill some kind of Uncle role, that already is more important than some dude and his self hating past ;)
@@__-tp4tmThat sounds very rough but I'm glad you got away from her. It is confusing when people seem like they're great, only to realize they never were. It's easy to see from the outside-in but not when you're the one invested in the person. It's never healthy for anyone to isolate you, though, I had a guy demand so much of my time online that I was pretty much ignoring my family and friends for his sake and it felt horrible. Kind of like your one woman, this one guy fractured a lot of trust I have in people in general, my idea of romance, and all sorts of things. I am still getting over anxieties that caused me to people-please because I always had to please him so he wouldn't get upset. I hope you've not had too many sad episodes and that you've been generally happy in life. It sounds like you have at least around friends. Pain like that definitely doesn't go away but all you can do with it really is learn to deal with it.
@@__-tp4tm This is one of the most touching comments I've ever read. I think you did absolutely the right thing in this situation. But... please never lose yourself or touch with your friends or family because of someone, even it's your partner. Wish you the best, Stranger.
The other day I had a dream where I had a girlfriend, it was something so simple, we were just hugging, but I genuinely felt happy, it was a dream but I remember feeling happy, and as soon as I woke up, I started crying, I felt horrible when i realized it was just a dream, I'm about to be 22 never had a girlfriend or been liked by anyone, I'm gonna die alone, my mind is so intoxicated with bad thoughts about myself, the First and last time I told a girl I like her was 7 years ago, and she laughed in my face , so yeah thanks to that day I became so insecure, all I want it's to feel loved by a significant other
you're 22 you have plenty of time for real! there are people in their 30s, 40s even older who just found love. keep on meeting people. it's not because one person rejected you that everyone will do it. maybe you've been a bit clumsy, just try to know the person better before confessing, or maybe you were not what this girl was looking for but there are plenty of other single women with different tastes in men! the more you know them, the more you'll know if it's reciprocal. women are just as insecure as you, you don't have to worry
Dude, I am about to be 26. Trust me I feel sad sometimes as well for being single but I can't help it, I will make sure that if I died single at least I want to die knowing that I contributed something in this world. So focus on your life goals and career.
Last night I dreamt That somebody loved me No hope - but no harm Just another false alarm Last night I felt Real arms around me No hope - no harm Just another false alarm So, tell me how long Before the last one ? And tell me how long Before the last one ? This story is old - I KNOW But it goes on This story is old - I KNOW But it goes on (The Smiths : _Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me_ album : "Strangeways, Here We Come")
My professor was over 60 years old and she told me she still dating. She doesn't have any children or anything and she was a little embarrassed to tell me, but I was happy for her! I have another professor who's old and gray, I'm assuming he's above 60 years old, he has a single daughter who is 6 years old and he has a wife, so he started quite late but he seems very very happy to talk about his wife and child! Sometimes it doesn't happen, but sometimes it does!
I'm 51. I've had boyfriends but I've never really been in love with someone. I'm only interested in men but it seems like the good ones aren't interested in me. I won't settle because I'd honestly rather be alone. I live with my mother (she's elderly and needs my help). I'd love to do some of the things that I do with her with a partner. I'm disabled and I can't go many places to meet men. So unless he falls from a tree, it's unlikely that I'll meet anybody.
Having been used and cheated on by so many women, it more left me jaded and emotionally destroyed when it comes down to relationships and love. As much as it sucks to not be able to give love, it also leaves me with being not having trust in the other, especially since I'm always in fear of not being enough, fearing that I'll just wind up abandoned and forgotten about, and feeling like I'd be the one doing her harm though it would be entirely unintentional.
I was in a great relationship for 7 years. One day she just told me she wanted to move out and she packed up and left. I was absolutely devastated, and couldn't understand what happened. Everything was so good (even by her own admission, she told me how happy and lucky she felt just weeks beforehand), so I was just left completely dumbfounded. I've tried to date again in the time since, but I've just never have clicked with anyone else. That's the worst part; feeling like you're a broken person and unable to ever truly feel love again.
I know what you mean. My ex and I went from having the best vacation together to her telling me she had feelings for someone else within a week. I'm afraid of love because they can just leave at any time.
Yup… I just went through this on Monday. It was a good six months and I started talking exclusively to him. Well.. I feel emotionally distant from my own feelings. It’s just pain and sadness I feel for myself. I swear my hearts strings get tighter every time I think about this
The worst is when they aren't honest with you about how they are truly feeling - so you're there thinking everything is going well, they're *telling* you they're happy etc. and then 'out of the blue' they pull the plug. What that does is make you feel like you can't trust yourself to read romantic relationships correctly, you fear trusting others, and it leaves you with the potential to anxiously look for signs of disastisfaction/unhappiness in any future relationship - and that is no way to live. It robs you of peace of mind and the ability to enjoy yourself/your partner fully.
28 yo, never been in a relationship, anxiety, no self esteem, depressed. I wouldn’t want to be a bother or emotionally hurt another person so I choose to be alone.
Yep. But, that doesn't mean you should stop hanging out with others completely. Sure, maybe tone it down. But still, hang out with others. Also if you keel thinking you'll hurt someone, you'll do it.
I can definitely say I feel that twinge of jealousy around couples. Especially since all of my friends are in relationships. A little over a year ago I went out to celebrate a friends bday and I was the only single guy in the group. More then once everyone got into deep conversation with their significant other or two couples started sharing stories and I was left sitting there like a lump. A lonely lump. It didn't feel good. I'm also guilty of "not trying new things". People tell me to go out more and I'll meet new people, but the problem is I don't know where to go. There's no where that interests me.
Those same people wouldn't dare try to do things alone without their partner. Lol and society says "you must fall in love with your self" some ppl in relationship can't be alone for a day! As singles trying not to stay this way, we have no choice but to try, if not we die.
this makes you want to fall more into isolation because you have no 'couple' stories to share. or the couples all joke with each other and have in jokes and you have nothing. I've been there. It's rough.
Go have fun you have a whole life. Don't bother being single, it's too damn freaking good. What happens will happen and don't force yourself to be in a relationship (that's what makes people velue more for who you are). So think on your goddamn self and go have fun, i'm sure there's a place that you like to go besides being stuck at home Edit: I believe in you
Partly I know what you felt. I had similar experience, just not as single, but I was the only one, who didn't had a child. (Still have none, and chances are bad, since my gf breaks up with me.) Anyway! Don't let yourself down. IF you noticed, that you don't try new things, and feel guilty, than you made the first steps! It is important to know your issues, and if you know them, as the next step, you can work on it. Will be hard, but it is worth. PS: If I see right, than I say simply Luna. :)
I honestly cry myself to sleep because I have to pretend that I'm happy going out with my friends and their significant others, but I'm actually dying inside knowing that I will never have what they have
My friends date my crushes. I was rejected or people don't respond or etc etc etc. There's something telling that I'll die alone in my head and if I have a relationship I'll be replaced.
I seen most of my friends start hooking up and getting married in my early 20's but I didn't feel sorry for myself. Neither do I feel that I've missed out on all that relationship, marriage and dating trip. I'm 46 now and for me I always thought that if it was meant to happen it probably would happen naturally, without going looking for it. Some people just aren't meant to meet their other half simply because they're already complete within themselves. A lot of people give in to this silly idea that you're meant to be in a relationship, meant to be married simply because outside influences and pressures push that idea. It's wrong for some people. Accepting the fact that you're ok on your own is the solution to this problem. Besides, you never know what the future holds and perhaps you'll meet your ideal partner later in life. There should be no pressure on anybody to get into relationships and marriages, there's no rush and it's also not for everybody.
Fellow Gen-Xer here. Most people I knew got married for the wrong reasons - social pressure or the need for someone to "complete" them being the most prevalent. Most of them are divorced, some had multiple marriages. Not all people are suited for or meant to be in relationships. Relationships are not for everyone. Don't try to force something if it isn't working for you. You can make a decent life for yourself and live on your own. A lot of people are better off not being in relationships.
"Some people just aren't meant to meet their other half simply because they're already complete within themselves." This idea is very comforting. Thank you.
I’m in my early 20’s and my bloodline ends with me for roughly 2-3 solid reasons, one being the fact I’m asexual. I’m open to an intimate, platonic relationship because I like having meaningful relationships as much as the next guy, but I feel no real, intrinsic need to find a romantic partner. You’re right, the whole idea that you need a partner/spouse/etc and have kids is a societal pressure and isn’t truly needed of people nowadays. This isn’t the dark ages, we have plenty of people on earth. We should be allowed to be cool with ourselves.
Going through this comment section is incredibly comforting, seeing so many other people who you can relate. After dealing with an assault, on top of a few emotionally abusive relationships over the years, I’ve almost given up on the idea of ever being a wife or a mom in the future. At 27, part of me is just like forget it. I’m trying not to think so much about it these days, and more-so trying to better myself mentally and emotionally. Not sure where I’ll end up relationship wise, but hopefully I’ll love myself more.
@@Sixnipplesonebreast got out of one 4 1/2 years ago and it completely shattered me. I really thought this person was going to be the one. And then they shattered me. I just gave up on love. I’m alone and have just accepted I’m going to be alone.
After being dumped the day before my (supposed) marriage, it's hard not to give up on love. It seems like it's all a big joke, and I will never truly experience what love actually is.
I could truly resonate with what you said in your comment. Sorry to hear what happened to you. I was dumped last year by my boyfriend after 4 years and I'm still recovering and I'm in therapy because of it. I will say it nearly destroyed me, but I am single now and am not looking for another person to do the sane thing to me. I believe I can only rely on myself from now on and I am. I hope things get better for you. But love truly is a joke nowadays
youre a fool for thinking women have humane feelings and humane intentions! She dumped you intentionally to hurt you! You were only the next victim in line!
After betrayal, narcissism, fake people. I rather put my efforts on myself first, on things that I like doing and focusing on my goals now. I'm tired of giving my best to people who did not deserve it and my time. They hurt me and disappointed me a lot. I have never felt happier in my life. People criticize my way of living my life but these same people complain all the time about their boring life with their partners 😂 Now I am not in that 'war zone' of suffering anymore. It's our choice to be happy or miserable 🤷
Amen! I came here to say something similar but you said it perfectly. I know when I come home, I can be in whatever mood I am in and do what I want to do. (After I take care of my dogs). It’s freeing.
I said to a workmate recently "I'm single now after my divorce, and I wanna stay that way". You've said exactly what I was thinking. I've heard too many complain about their partners to want to be with someone anymore.
For me, it's basically that I really love my freedom. The idea of having to commit to someone else other than myself is not something I'm willing to venture into. I, truthfully, LOVE the fact that I can say, do, and go wherever I want, whenever I want, and feel ZERO guilt when I don't feel like engaging in anything. If I want to socialize, I can. If I crave alone time, I don't have to dread the thought of having to explain why. I give myself what I need just fine--no need to find love in someone else to be happy or feel fulfilled. I have, in myself, all the true love that I need.
I feel totally the same , I have a freind who was desperately trying to find someone to date , I asked him why can't he be single and wait to find that someone he told me that he don't like to stay single . I have also girl freind who talk a lot of wanting to marry someone and they are scared to be single all their lives so they choose someone that they don't know or like only to not staying single .I totally respect their opinion but sometimes I don't get it why people are so obsessed with dating And in the end they say that I am weird and that I am the only person they know who isn't interested in love . I love my alone time and I don't find it necessary to commit to someone to be happy
When you can't even keep "friends" I don't think I'll be needing a relationship anytime soon Edit: wow I wrote this comment 2 years ago and didn't expect to see this many people felt the same way 🥲 it makes me happy to form some sort of solidarity with everyone but also sad many experiences this. I did end up gaining like at least 1 person who I could totally call a friend even years later so I'm hoping you guys the best in finding great friendships and relationships as well ❤
I always ask myself “where did I go wrong in life”. I’m 27, college educated, make great income, attractive, work out daily, create artwork, etc. All my friends are confused as to why I’m single and some believe something’s wrong with me. After having so many disappointing experiences, I’ve given up completely on pursuing women. I no longer see the point in being “vulnerable” like women ask for. Because I’ve shown my vulnerable side, only to be walked away from. I don’t have the energy and motivation anymore to constantly seek out and satisfy a woman’s every wants and desires. Because as men, we’re only loved based on how much we provide.
Well... It's not true that a lot of women only think about "how much the man provides", but some do. I think it has to do with the way some women grow up. As a woman, I have both kind of women as friends, the ones that think men should earn enough and giving them enough means that they love them enough and I have friends that fell in love with men that aren't good providers at all, but they really don't care about that, because they value more other features about their partners. So... Don't be discouraged, maybe you were looking in the wrong place.
Im not against love in any way, shape or form, but as someone who has no interest in dating and not wanting a relationship ever, i see this as a big, big win for me! I hate talking to people.
After seeing this video, I can happily conclude that I have in fact NOT given up on love at all. I just don't want a partner. I love my friends, I love seeing happy couples, I love weddings, I love love. I am just happier on my own than with another person. I'm proud of my independence, my confidence and the love I have for myself. I love being the weirdo who goes to the movies by herself. I enjoy my own company!
After what I learned in reality of relationships don’t last in this generation, I was slowly begin to doubt myself if I’m going to find the right partner in the future. I feel like most people just give up on love and it’s extremely difficult to find one in the world. Sometimes do I think about it the more it angers and frustrates me. Even though I have no experience of dating.
you dont need a partner the love you seek or want already reside within you noting is outside of you everything outside of you see in others is noting more than a reflection of how you feel about your self noting is to do with anyone else
i have never felt love for women and never been told told by anyone they love me every relationship i have had they have been emotionally unavailable so the attracts their with both people yet their is no connection
I don't want to socialize at all. All of this is just games, betrayal, pain, efforts for absolutly nothing. I'm fine on my own. Every time i tried to open up, i failed on all aspects of life and everything became a nightmare, i hate when people talk about me, and my ocd is painful. So i prefer to be left alone.
As someone who’s had numerous women say “I wish I could find a guy just like you! Your smart, funny, know so much cool stuff!… I just can’t date you, your not really my type.” It’s a double backhand to the face, but, this video somewhat helps.
I always feel like in this generation it's way harder to find someone and connect with a person because everyone is on their phone these days and you don't build real connections over the phone...
This though probably why I’ve been just working out heavily and video gaming while on bus, everyone seems so closed off so I just kind of shut off my brain and wait til my stop. 🤷♂️
The jealousy sign hits me close to home, seeing happy couples swing their arms, walk arm in arm into a restraunt, I've always wanted that. Just recently I saw my friend got engaged to his long time girlfriend and I was quite envious of what those two had. So I said "Why not, let's give the world another happy ending!". So I asked my crush out the very next day and, well, the answer was a resounding no. At least my friend is happy.
I hope everything comes together for you one day man. I moved In recently with a couple of my good friends. When we agreed to move in with each other we were all Single but now they are both in relationships. Their girlfriends are over all the time and they wonder why I don’t end up hanging out with the four of them. I tell them I just wanna be alone or I tell them I’m just giving y’all space but in reality it sucks being in a room full of people and feeling alone
The thing is giving up on seeking love gave me peace. Im now a lot happy by surrounding myself with my passions and things I adore. The possibility of finding deep connected love is very slim.If you hate having a shallow relationship it's better to give up on romantic love. Instead help people, volunteer yourself and fill your life with passions , hobbies that matter to you. You will have a fulfilling life .
I agree however in my case their also seems to be nothing I can ever truly come to enjoy. Truth is I work 100+ hrs. every week not because I need the money (although I do) but because I dread the empty feeling that comes with it. I want to Find Love but I don't seem to be able to find it even in the world of things. I guess what I'm really afraid of is finding out that there might actually something to me that can be loved. So much of my self image is built upon service to others and denial of self that If I don't hate myself then the question arises "what is the point of me?". I don't know how I can be a good person If my life is lived in such a way that brings me benefit. It is not that I am depressed or suicidal but rather if I can control where even some of the pain in life goes I'd rather it be me than some one else. I cant just decide to let others hurt when I could alleviate even a small portion of it.
I always get scared and confused when there’s an “opportunity” in front of me, i always like “why this person wants to know about me?” “Why would someone find me attractive?” etc, before watching this video i never knew i “given up” on love this bad, looking at how much i can relate to the points mention
yeah, I feel the same, esp I have insecurity on my face (I have acne-prone skin type so my face always full of acne) many times I doubted that if they truly see me attractive while I don't see the same :)
And this frustrates me so much because i always be like “why no one wants me” when i’m literally the one who blocking the opportunity, HOW TO CHANGE THIS? 🥲
@@firafirr If you consider yourself unworthy of attraction, you should try to identify the cause of this. Low self-esteem, bad past relationships, insecurity etc. and work on that. Once you have raised yourself to a point where you can accept yourself as you are, you won't be so shocked when people find you attractive.
@@lifeofalens_ I had shocking acne for years. People who've never had it have no idea how disabling it can be. I work in medicine & was shocked to see it's now recognised as such. I mean, it's on your FACE, the part you present to the world all day long & some people can be very rude & insulting. I'm 61 now, so in my youth there was no treatment & people would give totally ignorant advice, eg, "you need to wash properly or more often" like you were DIRTY. Or "you shouldn't eat so much oily or fatty food" - I HATED fatty food & was thin as a rake. So, when the first-ever successful treatment for acne came out, I went to the dermatologist & got it. It is called ROACCUTANE. The younger u take it, the higher the chance of permanent cure. I didn't expect it, but IT CHANGED MY LIFE! I had this perfect flawless complection! So get urself to the doctor & get it fixed! It makes your skin non-oily, helps to lessen the scars among other things. Good luck💖
And trust me even if anyone says thier are plenty of fish in the sea it's a bullshit scam and they talk about how the right one will show up magically it's bs thier is no such thing as the right one it's best to never give them a chance not even try to let one of them to try and find out who you are Or give them a chance just because they like you it's a bs scam to rob you in the world of man walking their own way we will proudly and willing to give up on it and live Happy and never again Approach again
I'm not a fan of vulnerability. Vulnerability exposes you to the elements of dirt getting kicked in your eye, people stabbing you in the back, and other things. Vulnerability is a luxury afforded to certain kinds of people and not others. I see people like this who are accepted for who they are no matter what they do, say, or even look like. The luxuriously vulnerable can even get away with being emotional vampires.
21, never been on a date or been in a real relationship. Not that that's surprising or baffling to me, there's nothing worthwhile about me, I'm not attractive in any way and can't function like normal people. Plus I don't really feel emotion anymore so I probably couldn't love someone the way they deserve anyway. I guess I get lonely maybe, but I don't know what I'm missing so it's hard to tell. I wonder if some people are supposed to be alone, I'm just not good.
Fall in love with yourself first. I know it's a very cliche line to say but I have experienced it first hand. I have had a bucket load of insecurities all my life(I'll be turning 24 soon). Regarding how I look,my social skills,my anxiety, constantly wondering how people think about me. I started working on myself recently(it's been 5 months now) mainly because I couldn't afford therapy and I was tired of feeling sorry for myself. I feel way better now about myself. I feel love inside me. That's such a good feeling. I am working on myself selfishly(not that I am harming others in the way). I am super grateful for whatever I have and I am constantly trying my best to love myself. Not kidding J T, but the day you start feeling that way you'll feel ' real emotions' and it'll be for yourself. You'll start feeling more 'normal'. And that thing you said about not knowing what you are missing ... That feeling will eventually go away. Trust me on that. Take baby steps to become comfortable with who you are. You have you at the end of the day. You gotta love yourself unconditionally. Sending lots of love to anybody reading this. 💕
Find out what you can improve on about yourself, just pick only one thing for starters (because otherwise it's too many things in one go) and go from there, one tiny step at a time. Once you improve that, then try improving the next thing, one tiny step at a time.
I'm turning 23 soon and I've never been in a relationship, not even a single date. i long for love sometimes I've reached the point of im okay with myself only. i made myself my best friend and companion i love her and nurture her everyday. wishing the best for u💗
I just turned 20 and all my dating experiences have been situationships where I thought I was going to have a real boyfriend but ended up getting ghosted, he just wanted to hook up or friendzoned. It sucks but I’ll say this for everyone and myself, never give up even if you feel like you’ll never find love, self love is the most important thing that you’ll ever have.
It isn't so much feeling like a third wheel when being around friends who are in relationships, when you're single. The problem is, in a group setting, they all talk about married life (and their kids, if they have any) and become their own little clique. And since you, the only single person, can't relate, they end up forgetting about you. Why wouldn't you end up drifting apart from them? It's better to not be around them than to be ignored.
I've been in that boat. I'm 23 and every friend that I have known since high-school is married. We will go out to dinners and game nights and such but I always feel a little left out and feel like I have to kind of insert myself into the group despite knowing them for almost a decade.
@@Jason0398 I would never want to get married that young honestly. Your 20s should be about you and being selfish following your own goals because once you get married and have kids that becomes really difficult because you don’t have as much time or energy
I do feel jealous when I see others with friends and hanging out together, and i feel like im missing out on this, yet i continue to stay home and stay away from the outside world
So help me god I will drag you out of your house kicking and screaming to a dating bar or some shit like that and force you to interact with the other gender
I believe this video is relevant to what I was going through since January. I was in a long distance relationship with a woman I met online and things were going well until she wanted to breakup with me. Since then, I was so upset and angry as to why the relationship ended despite us not having any arguments. Also, most of my peers at my church are either getting married or starting families which made me feel left out since I was in relationship and I thought we could get married and have kids one day. I was jealous and bitter towards my peers and worst of all, I felt like God was telling me that he wanted me single for reason, but I was constantly reminded that's not true. Now, I'm still healing from pain I went through and I'm trying to focus on my career and my relationship with God before I meet someone new. Thank you for video.
I think the reason why I, personally, can’t find myself ever really “falling in love” or getting myself into a relationship anymore is because of how many dissatisfied & disappointing factors I’ve backtracked on in my endeavors dealing with relationships. I’ve only ever had two gfs, but even then they felt more like chores to deal with. I’ve had many, many crushes, but each of them always seem to slip away in one way or another. Hell, I’ve never even had my first kiss. Pathetic, I know. It’s really gotten to a point where I’ve recently closed off that part of my life. For what’ll seem like a really long time too. It really does seem like a stretch for me to ever find myself in a relationship. It’s always been disappointment after disappointment, in the sense that I may never ever find “the one” or a committing relationship really. I thank you, reader, for reading out what I had to say. May you be blessed with good ties, and eternal happiness.
Honestly same, I've gotten close to a relationship just once but then freaked out and I guess we both weren't there. Everyone's so surprised when I tell them these this and it really feels like there's something wrong with me. Plus intimacy issues and low self-esteem. Honestly don't know what to do.
Im on the same boat. I get alot of people asking if ive found someone and the answer stays the same. At one point my mom's friends were concvinced I was into the same gender because I hadn't had a gf. It's been long and depressing and it feels even worse when I see lots of my friends in a relationship already. I am genuinely a nice guy and I am a bit shy but I do try to push out my comfort zones.
I trully believe that there is something wrong with me. Most persons I meet just don't have at least close to similar life ideas and values. At some point I was thinking that I was just unlucky, meeting the wrong people. Now I think that it might be me that is in the wrong. I guess low self esteem, anxiety and depresion could be a part of the problem but I can't say for sure. I used to at least want to meet new persons now I just avoid humans at all costs. But the idea of "love" and "connection" is still there, I just ignore it as much as posible so it doesen't hurt as much.
@@oprisiosif2159 same, after I read the comments I feel a little better on having nothing to live towards, seeing that you're not alone in this makes it easier. Always figured that at some point I'll have at least some kind of idea what to do with my life, but it's not really gotten any better. I'm afraid to go to get professional help cuz what if there's nothing they can do. I might just be a lost cause
As someone who's never been romantically involved with another, I cannot say I feel your pain. However, I've never seen myself ending up with someone anyway so I understand your reservations for wanting to quit seeking out a good relationship. You may find that the best kind of love comes when you least expect and it might not be in the form of romance but it's still just as good. Sometimes its a good thing to take a break from loving one person too hard and to notice all the other forms of love that surround you. Keep that love in your heart and meet new people without looking for romance. Find a few good friends who will listen to your woes and maybe one day you'll find romance where you least expect it to be: nearby.
Once i realized I'm neither attractive nor charming to most women and accepted it, i feel way better and less burdened. Love is not meant for everyone so there's no point in bothering about it.
I feel the same but as a woman who is conventionally attractive but not charming and antisocial asf it’s weird bc I attract men but they don’t stay and no one’s actually had feelings for me. It does really seem like romantic love isn’t for everyone
@@Luvvserena111bc an average woman is on nearly any man's radar as a potential mate, that includes short term ones. But the average man isn't even considered human by many women, that includes many average women.
Did you know that there are a few types of love, but only one lasts a lifetime? Curious to know? Watch this video: th-cam.com/video/To3DVfPf2-4/w-d-xo.html
Disclaimer: This video is designed to be for educational purposes only and not to suggest that these signs mean that you have really given up on finding love for good or that you should if you are feeling like this. But to help you become more aware of your fears and mental blockages so that you can make changes in your life. Reach out to people you trust if you want to talk about how you are feeling.
Thank you
thank you for making me comfortable:) ❤
:)
💖
Ty
I'm tired of one-sided love... I've never be someone's first choice, always the one forgotten. It has made me think if I'm lovable at all.
Same.
You're more than loveable, you are love itself. You've just forgotten.
I... I never relate so much with a comment.... Exactly what I am feeling now..
Same here. I'm not going to get married because of this fact. It's my only way of getting justice.
h@@chinemeremohaeri9100 That's not justice. You only hurt yourself and maybe a person who is actually a good one.
I remain single because tbh, having crushes and dating people takes a lot out of me. Feeling emotions THAT deeply drains all of my energy. It’s exhausting
It can be very disregulating. Having real chemistry with someone though is awesome but very elusive
YES. I have limerence (maybe you do too? Look it up, there's a good blog on it) and feeling THAT deeply, all the time, is literally life-draining for me. It's like I'm older, I grew out of videogames and I grew out of "love" too. But heck maybe one day I will settle for Mr. "good enough" because I gotta procreate.
Agreed!
Same. But if you love truly and don’t think that you must have the same back it’s just showing you that you love genuinely. That’s a start. Don’t give up on that. This kind of love is the most beautiful, it’s one of your most powerful virtues. You just have to learn what kind of people you attract and what kind of people you want to attract. And work on your boundaries-if that’s the case. Like if you give too much. It will bring you closer to that kind of a person you need. Because we attract what we are.
@@basia6222 true true. Thanks :)
1.If a date doesn’t go well or as planned you just shut it down.
2. You don’t take opportunity to meet new people anymore.
3. You feel jealous when you see or around other couple.
4. You’ve got into head that everyone is playing games.
5. You may consider settling for someone you don’t love or you have unrealistic expectations.
6. You feel you’re unable to love another person deeply.
I can tick 5/6 of these 😄
Mine is 4/6 :')
Thanks
I feel number 3 allll too well:(
Mines all
Despite all this social media it definitely feels like there is a loneliness epidemic.
I actually consider my friends who have partners or marriages extremely lucky.
To even experience base level romance, boyfriend/girlfriend is lucky from my perspective.
Factual 🎯
I used to feel that way until I realized there were some positive things about being single and that not all couples are happy. So, whenever I feel lonely or feel like I'll never find someone, I remind myself that there are worse things in life than being single.
For example, I got the chance to study abroad for a semester due to a scholarship. While I still felt like a loser for not being married or even having a boyfriend, the moment my friends who were married/had kids heard I was traveling abroad for a semester, they expressed how jealous they were because they said their significant others would never let them travel anywhere like that. And many of them ended up breaking up years later due to how toxic the relationships were.
I would still like a loving romantic relationship one day, but I know there are worse things in life than being single too and try to keep it in perspective.
Social media has made all things worse. People care about and pursue people that are not real or are too far away instead of focusing on those around them. And specially women get SO much attention from SO MANY men they are always tired and have no patience for men at all. Happens from time to time to attractive men as well (although I'm mostly harrassed by gay men...being heterosexual myself)
Yeah, same
Right
"Do you ever question your past relationships?"
Past relationships, ay? Thanks, now I feel even worse.
What’s that lol
What kind of food is that "relationship" stuff lol.
Not having one, yeah...
I know that feel.
Ive been in one, it was last year, and honestly I dont even know if it was a legitimate relationship... I truly cant tell(still) if she actually had feelings or if she was just using me..
Yes actually, after seeing so much of hate and betrayal in this world , anyone can lose faith in love..I wish that everyone is doing good with their mental health in this pandemic.
@@yournewfriend6247 🤗❣️stay strong !
Focus on the good in the world! There is a lot of good out there ❤️
@@janycebrown4071 you don't know that ..how much your kind words make feel so good , thank you so much ! Take Care! Have a nice day ahead! :)))
There may be some good and some bad but that doesn't matter, the only thing you matter is to do what you want, it may to much negativity in life, but that doesn't mean we should be like that, we can become who we want to be. And don't just hope there is more good people but to be like them. Let's keep spreading love and positivity to every where, to everyone. I hope everyone is doing ok and have a happy life, cause life is to short to worry about. ^^. So keep going.
Well unfortunately i still cant find love on a future girlfriend i wish to have but anyways i know its not coming anytime
I swear these vids pop up at the perfect time when i feel that way everytime and its scary
Maybe that’s a sign
For real. Like. EV👏ERY👏TIME👏🤨
It's fate for you
If this isn't meeee
exactly-
I'm 35 and about to turn 36. Love is something I'm giving up on. Every single girl I've tried to get with, hass all said the same thing. "Thank you for being so nice, but I'm just not interested." It's the same thing over and over again. For years.
I'm tired of no one liking me, I'm tired of one-sided relationships, I'm tired of never ever being the person someone likes. I'm always the one who likes someone, but they're never the ones that like me.
I'm giving up on relationships, I've accepted that I'll be alone till the day I die. 36, 38, 42, 50, 60+
Statistically, there are some that will be alone their whole lives. I'm accepting that I'm just one of the "lucky few."
It's the thing. You are too nice and women don't like that. Also, you want love too much and it's visible, even if you think it isn't visible. Women don't like that. And i'm the same way. I'm 40. I had relationship 5 years ago, but she left me really badly. I know a guy who always wants to be just alone. But everybody seeks his attention. He left a girl he spent years with and now he is with another and has child with her. He didn't even want it. He didn't want a child and not even to jump into another relationship after the last one. And that's exactly it. Everybody wants to be with him, because he wants to be alone. It is extremely weird, but that's how it is. It's like we are living in some kind of twisted matrix or something and i wanna wake up.
Sad im 35 too
Continue to learn, and try to believe in yourself alone as what's best for you.
I'm not a breath of fresh air because my 15 year marrage is in jeopardy and I'm at a huge loss loosing my loved one. But the brighter side is hoping that we find our selves in this spiritual journey on this earth. I pray that we all can find peace in these uncertain times. Amen
I feel you. I hope you find peace within yourself
I gave up on love long ago. People are always like, "but you're so young!"
Well, abuse and trauma know no age.
I know the feeling and felt every bit of that….
Yeah… same
Abuse/Trauma has that effect..the scars and the wrinkles are on the inside.
I hate it when they say that literally "your so young" Im just tired of hearing it
@@jacobchiago1378 same
The other day a coworker asked if I was seeing someone. I responded, “What? You mean like a therapist?”
🤦🏻♂️ dudes? My single is showing.
Aww. That's was cute.may God find the right person for you.untill than love your self be happy .and just keep looking nice hot it will HAPPEN .
lmao
🤣😂🤣
I'm sorry but that is the funniest misunderstanding I've ever seen!
@@giuseppeprofiti6823 aww ok every one veiw is different thank on how they explain things..I guess it was little deep...AND MAYBE FUNNY..it's was ment for good... But thanks
I'm getting older now and I'm accepting the possibility on being alone forever. The cards I'm dealing with is definitely not in my favor so I appreciate seeing happy couples around me because at least i know that it exists.
Well, you're not technically alone forever, you'll still have friends who'll help you in any way
I know how you feel
Ive decided that im not giving a new girl a chance
I decided not to give another girl any chance
They don't deserve my love
I’m just sick and tired of trying to prove my worthiness of the basic human need of connection only to get nothing back.
For me personally:
1. Not looking anymore
2. Letting obvious opportunities pass by even opportunities for a casual hook up
3. Sex is no longer of much importance to have
4. You feel like dating will eat into your personal time and energy for yourself
5. You feel that love loyalty sacrifice and respect are lofty standards that noone can achieve
6. Im becoming increasingly more content dealing with the challenges of being single rather than having to deal with the headaches of being in a relationship
Trust me bro
Not even a single aspect of my life is going right
I don't know what it is
But it happened to me all of a sudden
And i feel like I'm worthless and i should fucking commit suicide
Hey my fellow human friend… I know your pain you not alone and don’t give up
@@aniruddhadewanji7266 keep holding on man. I feel pretty aimless alot but you just gotta keep pushing through it
@@aniruddhadewanji7266 Don't do that. It may seem that there is no hope for a better tomorrow, but you cannot and should not give up. Because until the sun stops rising, there will always be the chance that things will get better and it would be an awful shame for you to miss it.
@@SomeJohndoe I'm trying
Been told “no” and “you’re nice but-“ so many times that I just don’t try anymore. Trying to land a date feels like trying to get a job interview for something I’m not qualified for.
Coulda Been worse she coulda said "I thought you were gay" or "Who are you"
@@painterofplastic1968 Or coulda said *"Why are you in my house"* and *"HOW DID YOU GET IN"* I mean the nerve of some people
@@ilikestrangethingsalot8075 or "I'm telling mom"
@@ilikestrangethingsalot8075 I laughed, thanks for your comment XD
@@painterofplastic1968 But what would be so ba- ... *realization* I'm going to jail {⊙_ ⊙}
The reason I’ve given up is ironically because I’ve never once been rejected: instead, I’m the one who’s never been chosen. I’m always nothing more than an option, someone they want to keep around just in-case their first choice doesn’t work out.
Edit: As of October 2024, I’m currently engaged to my high school crush (our wedding is set for New Years, which is also when I proposed to her in NYC) and we’re also expecting a beautiful baby girl. I know this may sound a bit cliche, but love really does find you when you least expect it to. Even if you give up on it, it’ll never give up on you.
Pain brother, I feel you.
Understandable, not everyone in this world is meant for a relationship.
Personally, feeling the most I ever was and I'll ever be is the perfect best friend
"great", "funny" , "reliable", "sweet", "smart", "generous", "honest", "stubborn", "mysterious" guy...
How can I believe any of that when there is nobody.
Who's fucking there when it's about romantic relationshipe huh ?!!
What am I in the end ? What do I do wrong in the end ? Should I just pretend I didn't love anybody
If my love wasn't real, how does it comes to hurt so much inside ...
I gave up, because I feel if I ever invest slightly more feelings into this, I'll just break from the inside
It make no sense to me an if I happen to love someone, I just go away. I estimate they deserve better, so that I won't be hurt and they'll be happier
Damn I feel u...
@@HaydenNK3 Screw them. The world doesn't deserve you. If your virtues don't fit what most people are looking for then the world is unfitted for you.
I’ve given up and I am happier. Seeking love was ruining my self esteem and my happiness.
Same here
same i kept getting ghosted even by the less attractive women.
No matter how many times I "put myself back out there" after being encouraged and pumped up by my closet supporters, the results are always the same and I end up feeling worse every time.
@@leomtuwa120and that’s why you got ghosted. Thinking cause they’re less attractive that they’ll settle for you lmao.
@@ITEEZ- like you?
Am I the only one who haven't experience being in a romantic relationship since birth but already given up on it?
Edited: 2 years guys. This comment has been reaching those people who feel the same way as me. Sad, but I'm glad I'm not alone. I wanna hug you all. Ik I'm not the most positive person here and ironic it maybe, take courage. Thanks for the likes and replies but I don't want us to multiply more. 😅 I'm still not in a relationship if you just wanted to know the update from two yrs ago.
You might be aromantic. When I think about romantic stuff it’s always in the context of some kind of media like a show, but in my own life if people try to be romantic I will probably react by getting angry and not expressing it so basically not fun time
Nope!
Makes people taking about your "past relationships" weird because you have no experiences to fall back on! Literally me!
@@microwavebrain1035 I don't think so. I know that when I love it's deep so I'm probably protecting myself. I have a big problem with trusting people since you get vulnerable when you open your heart to someone.
@@katnisseverdeen219 Same
Same. Feels weirder and weirder every year as people settle around you. I blame bullying, made me afraid to open up to people. That and introversion...
me, who has never dated, arranged a date, or done any of that: "Interesting"
came here to say this
I really question whether or not going out and meeting strangers specifically for romantic purposes is the best way of going about it. I feel like getting to know someone as a friend first and then taking said friendship to a higher level is the real way to go about it. I mean, if you can't simply hang out and enjoy another person's company the way you would with a friend, how are you expecting to spend the rest of your life with them? But, of course, a lot of people see things differently. I've just accepted that my approach is that of an outlier, and as such, it's going to be a while before I meet someone I might seriously be able to call a romantic partner.
@@dandarr5035 I agreeee!!!!!!
@@dandarr5035 I agree as well.
@@dandarr5035 this is literally the same exact thought process i have too, it’s nice to see others relating/agreeing
@@dandarr5035 I agree 100%, my problem tho is that im introverted, how tf am I supposed to find me a introverted biddie when we dont go out much lol, except for work obviously
It just takes a toll on you when you feel like you’re doing all the right things: being respectful, being kind, being genuine and yet still people will end up using you or just walking away because of some other reasons. It’s really draining and definitely makes you question if you should even put anymore effort into getting to know someone new again
Absolutely. Finally someone said the things I've been thinking about.
:/ forever alone
its not your fault dear :( hope ure feeling better now.
Story of my life, it's the worst when they use you and come back saying they missed you when you know all they missed was your wallet. Or when they only got with you hoping for a quick roll in the bed and really wanted nothing more from you
I feel that. I was with only five guys in the last 18 years and yes, I gave up on "love". The first one cheated on me with another guy. The second one cheated with one of his friends, because she had bigger breasts. The third one hit me. The fourth one was a controlling choleric. The last one stole money and things from me to support his weed addiction. I also found out later that he cheated several times. None of these relationships lasted longer than 8 months. I don't have faith in men anymore.
Context: This took place at a military training school
I’m a 23 year old guy and I recently told a girl at my school that I liked her, and it was the first time I had ever told anyone that I liked them. Two of my close buddies gave me encouragement to tell her, so I ultimately did. It felt somewhat good to get it out, but it caused me to start acting more awkward around her to the point where I started to creep her (and her roommate) out. Fortunately, she’s really nice and we were able to have things mostly go back to normal, but yeah. Telling a girl that I like her is a mistake I’ll never make again
Nah, you did the right thing by telling her, otherwise you would lose sleep overthinking if she likes you or not. Now you have the answer and can move on.
Reminds me of my high school days. I had a lot of trouble connecting with people, let alone the opposite sex. Then I met this girl at summer school. We exchanged emails, and eventually started hanging out (she lived in a different town, about an hour away). When I finally asked her to go steady with me, something just "flipped" in my brain, and I went from being funny and playful to serious and over-emotional. And clingy. And easily jealous. It wasn't until years after she broke up with me that I had an epiphany reading through our old emails, and I could see the jarring shift in how I was behaving. I thought to myself, 'Christ, it's no wonder she left! I don't even want to read this nonsense, and I'm the one who typed it!'
But I don't want to end this on a bad note.
There's a lot of things I learned about myself over the years. I'm a long way from my high school days (I'm 37 now), but I've had some good relationships, some rocky relationships, some "that'll do for now" relationships, and some that never went past a date or two, for one reason or another. Some of the failures were my fault, some of them were theirs, some of it was shared. But bit by bit it helped me develop into a man that sees the worth and potential in himself, and can make his mind up if he sees potential in a possible partner or if they'll just waste his time (yes, guys can say "no" too).
I'll share a few things that have helped me along the way. If you don't feel these would be useful, then you don't have to take them, but they've helped me develop a better understanding of myself and others.
1. I have little respect for the PUA community, but the only PUA I have any respect for is David DeAngelo. While most PUAs try to teach a bunch of "tricks" to try manipulating a woman into bed (which is just downright scummy and most women will see through it from a mile away anyway), David focuses on *building yourself up* to becoming a more attractive person naturally. Based on your original post, I'd say to take a look at his Deep Inner Game program, which is focused on working through your personal issues and any past trauma that might be holding you back, not just in your romantic relationships but your life as a whole. That and a good therapist (emphasis on "good" -- I've had some $#!+ty therapists over the years) will make you unstoppable.
2. Someone in a similar vein but coming from a different direction is Marni from the Winggirl Method. She talks about human attraction from a woman's perspective, and shares a lot of the same philosophy as David. I know a lot of the, ahem, 'nice guys' in the PUA community don't like taking advice from women, but where's the logic in that? "Asking a woman for dating advice is like asking a fish how to catch it." Yeah, and asking a guy who doesn't have a clue what he's doing for dating advice is like asking a guy with a soldering gun how to weld the Brooklyn Bridge together.
3. There's an amazing book called King Warrior Magician Lover by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette talking about the human psyche, relating it to the common archetypes we've seen in pop culture over the generations, and expanding on the work of psychologist Carl Jung. It's been out of print for like 30 years, but the audio book has been posted on TH-cam several times. I highly recommend it. One of the best self-help books ever written
Check out the black pill. Either wheat waffles or itv. It is the truth, trust me. It’s not your fault you are single. This proves it. If you were Chad she would’ve been interested
If you love somebody, you should totally tell them! It's a brave thing to do, but one remarkable thing either way. You just have to work through that shame of loving somebody and what caused you to be creepy that one time. We only get one life, you're already living it to the fullest!
Honestly getting it out and telling them is gonna be your best bet. I recently told the girl I liked that I liked her and I don't expect her to like me back. She told me she doesn't feel the same but that I was nice to be honest with her. After doing that I feel so much better. However the one difference between you and me is that I probably will never see said girl again after this.
I've witnessed too many broken relationships to not want one. I've experienced terrible dates, being in love and being crushed afterwards, I've seen divorces, couple fights, and so much more. Seeing my loved person marry another and have kids definitely crushed me. It's hard to move on. I want a relationship but I don't trust people.
I was in the same boat, and eventually after a bad betrayal just gave up and stopped caring about love. Eventually you'll feel happier single. I'm not saying don't ever try to fall in love but I'm 42 and so far what I've seen is real true love is a pipe dream that everyone wants and few people ever find. People think being married will make them happy. If your not happy individually by yourselves your not going to last in a relationship where bolth people are relying on their significant other to make them happy. Relationships like marriage are about sharing your lives with each other, bolth the good and the bad. And unfortunately far too many guys and girls have unrealistic expectations in relationships, and many try to break it off or stop being faithful the second something goes bad. There is no such thing as a perfect happily ever after relationship without problems, how you work through those problems is what makes or breaks a good relationship. For me I'm happy being single and imo too old to be dating anyway so it's fine by me.
I don't think you don't trust people. I think you don't trust Life.
Same. I don't trust myself cause I have a tendency to freak out when things change and I think they may leave me so I leave them first-
,@@joelmorgan1871 I don't think you're too old for that, you just don't worry about it. Choosing to be with another person doesn't have to be forced...it just happens
dont you worry about your ex having kids......when it comes down, he/she better be ready financially to raise em! I always have this joke about it.. "the best thing about having kids, is making em".
I'm almost 23 (female) and I've never dated anyone, never even been on a date. Throughout my life, my crushes have only been one-sided. Dating is something that seems unrealistic for me. I'm coming to the conclusion that love only exists in books and movies. Liking someone and them actually liking you back is weird to me and I don't see how that's possible.
Kinda same. I am a guy who turned 22 just 4 weeks ago and never had a girlfriend before and its kinda bothering me a lot. I use dating apps but rarely get matches by some 18-23 age girls who ends up ghosting or unmatching me for no reason.
I do chat with some girls on Instagram whom I knew in high school and they are all 20-22 year olds. I am having a very good chat with a girl who was 2 years my junior in our school days. Now she is 20 and I had the best chat with her for the past 3 days compared to any other girl who lives in my city. But I also like another girl who was my childhood friend when we were in elementary school in 2008-2011. Now she is 21 and only 5-6 months younger than me but we hardly chat much on IG as she doesn't reply to my last message for a week or 2.
love is a inside job noting exist outside of you the external reflects your state of mind
Depends on your gender a lot. If you're a guy, girls your age are out of high school so their dating options expand out to older men. Which is lopsided heavily against you because they've got careers, stability, experience, ect. If you're not getting any dates or matches, it's not because you're going to be forever alone. It's because you're entering the hardest dating bracket for guys age-wise. Use that time to improve yourself instead.
I'm 18 (male) and I'm in the same exact place, it feels so alien sometimes. It really hurts when you feel like you're incapable of experiencing any form of intimacy, It leaves me empty and anxious. But love is real, and I wish you the best of luck in finding it
I know exactly how you feel, I'm 24 years old and I haven't dated anyone, nor have I had my first kiss. I have a hard time relating to people, especially women, and the romance game is not for me. My parents say that I may have ASD since this type of behavior has been present since I was a child. I think that's one of the main reasons I've been rejected all my life and I'm so tired of looking for love that I've given up indefinitely. I'm trying to focus on myself right now, like working out, finishing college, and earning some money, but the feeling of being alone is still getting to me.
I'm 30, never been in a relationship and have had very few intimate encounters. I am sociable and people like me, and I'm surprised that I haven't met someone yet. At times this last year I've felt a bitterness, even blaming statistics, that I really should have a girlfriend by now just by chance. Bitterness is of course making the downward spiral worse. I've recently started to take courses in couple-dancing, and now I go to Friday social dancing. It gives me hope and makes me happy, knowing that I'm visible. Never giving up. Try something new like I did!
Edit: Unluckily, the 3 people I did feel a special love for were already in long term relationships/engaged and not really eligible.
Is it that you don't persue the person you like? 🤨
Wow I’m surprised too. I just went to your page and saw how handsome you are , I like your personality too
Guuuuurl for Real - I did the same thing, looked at Erik’s picture. You’re a good looking guy! Maybe think about why you haven’t pursued more relationships - flings or serious. It will give you some insight into your values. I think many women will appreciate a man who hasn’t spent his 20s jumping in and out of bed. What are common interests you would like to share with a romantic partner? If you love books, find a bookstore that has an interesting clientele. If you like chamber music, buy season tickets. I had a friend who signed up for cowboy dancing to meet women. It was something he always wanted to do and met his wife that way. Good luck to you!
Same here. I never had a boyfriend. There was a guy I liked in high school but I also had a friend who also liked him so I decided I wanted to remain friends. She offered to let me date her ex but I didn’t want to feel pitied by people so I declined. Now I wish I had been more forceful and vocalized my attraction to him. Maybe then I would actually have actually experience in love. The problem is I’m very shy and I don’t really know how to interact with people outside my family. Also I have very esoteric interests and I’m in the South right now so I don’t feel comfortable with actually going to meet people (I’m a Neodruidess by belief but I can’t build an altar because my house is small and I’m afraid my family and I will become victims of hatred if anyone finds out) who share the same interests as me. It was easier up north because I didn’t feel so in danger of being proud about my beliefs but where I’m living right now…I basically have a lot of regrets and it doesn’t help I’m older than most of the students who are in the college I’m attending so I can’t really relate to them. I wish there was a neopagan group on campus and I was younger. It would be a lot easier to talk to people that way.
same here 😟😟😟
Ive always been good at giving love, but I struggle immensely with accepting it.
I think I have such low self love, that I genuinely dont believe others can love me unconditionally. I assume everyone will leave once they get bored.
Its kind of crazy how unconditionally I give love, but how hard it is for me to accept that sometimes others can do the same for me.
Thissss part
Same bro
Sadly, i relate 100% to this
I feel the exact same way to a point I start distancing myself because I feel that once they know all of me they will get bored or me. I tent to tell people that especially telling them that nothing is permanent
Isn't it like that?
I mean isn't unconditional love non-existent?
Are there people that are loved unconditionally, what?
I'm not expecting for someone to love me anymore.
Good. It's old hat. Overrated.
Same here, it was sucking me dry trying to care about a cute stranger
Same. I'm all that I have
Me too comrade, me too
Me too
I won't ever get married. It's just so hard to believe that a person will stay loyal to you and like you for the rest of their life. There's lots of pretty girls out there.
When it comes to true love, it is false to believe that someone’s looks will secure the relationship. No matter how beautiful you are on the outside, it doesn’t matter bc at the end of the day it’s your personality that will keep a lasting relationship.
"All these other hoes are tempting, but I'm empty when she's gone." -OMI
True there are a lot of beautiful people out there, but remember looks will fade. After that…what will you have to offer? There’s got to be more than just appearance that keeps the relationship alive.
@@bbyxamy That is not correct. Sure, even a beautiful woman can fail at making a relationship last, but it's physical beauty (esp. when it comes to women) that will get you a relationship in the first place. Men are primarily interested in physical beauty. After that - i.e. if a woman fulfills this first requirement - they look at her personality. But beauty is still the point of entry. In other words: Yes, men are absolutely interested in a woman's personality. But they are only interested in personality in physically beautiful/hot women. There are exceptions to that rule, of course, but there are exceptions to everything.
@@24wallachian Amy Le was talking about true love, which is exactly the exception you are talking about. Well same way I can say women are only interested in personality in physically attractive/rich men. I guess your look rules them all, regardless of gender
Gave up 20 years ago. All the pain and heartbreak went away. I'm single and so much happier.
The worst thing is when you two get along great, have a ton of fun together, like a lot of the same things, trust each other with your insecurities, make each other laugh and feel better when you're down, and they still don't even like you that way. Really drives home that there's nothing you can improve on and that you're just doomed to fail
Love isnt real just a made up feeling thats suppose to make you left out
I don't think that's true. Sure some people try to force it but a lot of people do find love. The harsh reality however is that not everyone can
@@Entei9000 exactly. However if your not born attractive 9/10 you wont find it
This is what gave me a moment of clarity to understand everything I had ever been told about love and relationships was a complete and total lie. "Be yourself." Is the stupidest piece of advice of all time. It's be so attractive people throw themselves at you regardless of how you are portraying yourself or be stupid rich with the free time to spend it all on them. Nothing else matters.
@@chaospoet exactly
I have 5/6 of these signs.. After a very long-term relationship that ended in a horrible way, this video helped me realise that I've unintentionally given up on love once and for all.
nice
I literally relate, I had a narccistic ex who mentally abused me and I was abused growing up as a child in every way possible so it makes it rlly hard to connect to other ppl, especially being demisexual
@@psychott6 They're trying to bring them down. Rest assured this comment isn't "cringy" and I'm happy you can say the things you need to say.
You ain't alone
@@Abner-em6ov thank you for caring about children in africa ig but its not the right place to mention that you can see what's the video is about so what were you expecting in the comments? Idk who hurt you to say this but i hope ur ok
These days i don’t even feel like trying anymore
No need to, if you're not ready. Just keep working on yourself.
Lmao same. Especially since the pandemic hit, we’re so used to not go out and meet people
Mood
From what I've seen of dating apps, it's about as exciting as browsing boxes of cereal at the supermarket. I know it works for some, but I wonder about those people.
Aww... DON,T FORCE it ..LET GOD WORKS IT..OUT. JUST kNOW WHAT YOU are looking for..but if you close your self.off it.. won't happen..get dressed UP AND GO . about your DAY and God will let.. it. HAPPEN... good luck..
I admit, i will forever be a romantic, but at this point in my life, im learning there's no one really out there that can fulfill my internal and external desires and thats okay. Instead of questioing why, ive learned to "date" myself. There's so much to me i never knew and wouldn't know if there was other energies around me. I'm convinced im here to completely fall in love with myself and the Divine, not in a selfish way, but in a deep, soul path type of mission. It tragically beautiful and I'm proud of who i am today, standing in my full authenticity. On days i yearn for human embrace, i just watch Divorce Court and boy, that brings me back to myself real quick😂go and love your own selves people, it'll all be ok.
So true. Some people are here to learn self love. It can be good to turn inwards and examine one’s own unconscious
@@wulfsorenson8859 Agreed with this!!!
How do you self love? I'm asking this in a serious manner.
@@PurpleFlames87 I stopped putting others expectations of me above my own, learned to drop the guilt I carried, I study human psychology, behaviors, traumas, codependency, narcissism, etc. I became acutely aware of how I internally spoke to myself and changed those negative thought patterns, I isolated myself away from socializing and began creative endeavors, like growing plants, reading, dancing, singing, I talk to the unforseen force in my beliefs, I began being intentional in my interactions, with a mental focus of empathy and kindness, especially towards those who attempt to sway my flow out of my own current. It's not been easy, but it's best I've ever done just for myself. It's a continual exploration of within and the honoring of every single one of the qualities you discover in the exploration.
this helps me so much. thanks!
Psych2Go: "#1: When a date doesn't go well..."
Me: *"Oh, you mean those things where someone agrees to spend time alone with you somewhere? Must be nice..."*
Yeah, my thoughts exactly.
Points 1 and 2 had me thinking love gave up on me, not the other way around 😥 3-6 assured me that we'd given up on each other...
I was lucky enough to go on one recently and that's the end of that story
u guys ok :(
I was thinking the same thing. Who goes on dates? How can I contact these people? I’ll pay for a dinner, even if I do get ghosted afterwards. Just to say I got out.
"are they just pitying me?"
This question usually brings up insecurities
Army?!
@@kimryujin2007 yeah :)
I already am insecure, which is why these questions pop in my head 😂
@@crimson_rain_sought_flower you know, it's fine to feel like this. I am too sometimes and often keep them inside me. But at the end it only affects me and that too badly. It's hard to let out feelings. But do try to talk it out with someone you feel who'd understand you or someone you trust. Unknowns can be good listeners too so do talk it out with someone. It will make you feel better. Hope you are doing good and remember I'm proud of you. I don't know you but remember I'm proud of you. Virtual hugs to everyone who needs it. Keep smiling :)
that's why I don't date
it's not a good idea if you can't even stand being with yourself
I don't bother with relationships anymore.
They just feel like a waste or energy and time.
I would rather be alone and keep my independence.
Aro & Ace pride peeps.
Ace here 🤚
Aro ace👏👏👍same
@@ayaaly2866 yaaas!!!! Aro ace pride!!
@@adoroselatte I'm also ace but I didn't feel like mentioning it in my comment cuz it's more directed towards romance instead of romantic and sexual relations. Aro and ace pride!
@@velvet1371 happy pride
Being in a relationship is honestly tiring for me. I don't miss it or envy people who are in a relationship, at all.
What do you feel is the most tiring aspect of a relationship?
It’s not necessarily a bad thing. I focus more on myself, friendships and love outside of a relationship. I don’t think we all have to constantly look for love in a romantic relationship.
But then it gets to a point where you will want to settle down and emotionally attach to someone, and when everyone you know is doing that and you're not able to, it starts to negatively effect your thought process
@sues anna Well said.
Am 70 years old and what u say is very 👍
It may sound cliché but you often find the best people when you aren't even looking.
@@xrstevenson That's not necessarily true. Some people don't really want a relationship, and that's okay too. In the end, even if you do you still need to be happy with yourself first. If you expect a relationship to solve every problem you force unrealistic expectations which aren't fair to the people you date.
My parents remind me that real love exists. They have been married for 40 years and are obsessed with each other. My mum stays up late to have dinner when my Dad works late. My dad gets up early even on his days off to make my mum breakfast. They race each other to get their 10,000 steps. I’ve never heard them raise their voice at the other but I have heard them laugh so much they have to sit down. I was at work and rang home to see how they were and they just kept flirting with each other! The way they look at each other like they are the others happiness gives me life. My mum is working from home at the mo (COVID restrictions) and my dad makes her tea and lunch and sits with her on her break. They are the cutest couple I know.
I never really considered the existence of love in this era. After reading this paragraph I’m slightly convinced.
That's rare. Most relationships don't last, so i'll play it safe by ignoring all women. why date or marry when it'll eventually end? Seems like a big waste of time. Might as well do other things in life
There is also a guy who won in the lottery 6 times or so. So by your logic, everyone will win the lottery 6 times if they try it. Sure there are some exceptions that win, but for most this is only a trap into darkness.
This warms my heart! Thanks for sharing ♡♡♡◇
Aww well that's sweet!
I’m just tired of the constant loops of the same conversations that will never lead anywhere
These are facts. Same talk leading nowhere
Yuuuuppp the usual questions "have you eaten? How are you?" Always tires me I feel like a bot
@@nerdinvader6740 bring up stuff that yall like or find a common interest. Take or dont take this advice I haven't had a gf ever, but thats how conversations with friends goes so idk.
Same. Most girls are boring to me and have nothing in common. I like sports, music, video games, fishing but most girls like just such lame stuff
Same😑
I'm tired of never being enough to get into a relationship. I have fought with the desire of giving up, but I want to experience that side of our lives. I hope I can experience love that is beyond friendship or my parents.
Yep, I know what you mean. Each time "you are so nice, but I don't love you like in a romantic way" or "you're cute, but too nice" fucking hell
Me just seeing the title: "This one is gonna hit hard."
Hard as we call it, "rock hard"
"Your one step closer to hitting bottom" Tyler Durden fight club
Same here
“You feel that you are unable to love another person deeply”
this one really got me choking. i feel so broken just by the thought of unable to open my heart to someone else. there's only one person i deeply in love with, but he betrayed me. the fact that he is also my bestfriend makes it even harder. im scared. i dont want to fall for anyone. never. the pain is too unbearable.
Yeah i had the same thing.........It hurt a lot at the time, then i got over it and now i don't really think about it at all.
That's honestly what am most after of about getting into a serious relationship..also I'm so sorry 😟you take care ok.🌺
I'm an autistic INTJ and I don't understand why affection and romance exist or how they're useful.
@@greatwavefan397 Affection simply feels good. Romance? Does that involve roses and other basic acts of Rom-coms? Boring!
Romance? Bleh!
Am I the only one who thinks her voice is so soothing, it’s almost like asmr?
So Sandy, huh?
Thank you. Amanda has a great voice!
Her voice got me hooked on this channel
@@pkdare883 me too
I guess her voice is also the music playing in the background of the vid 😅
They hit the nail on the head with this one, I related to pretty much every single point here.
I've never been in a relationship, but I've only ever seen unhealthy relationships in my life, enough times to the point that I'm starting to think that's what love looks like. Bad relationships between my dad and step mum, my mum and step dad, and more recently, a couple of friends of mine, all ended horribly. Sometimes I don't want to be in a relationship because I've only ever seen bad ones, so why would I want to be in one if it's going to cause me so much anguish.
Same here. Toxic love is all around me and I've experienced it firsthand too, to a degree. My trust just keeps lowering so to put my trust in a partner completely sounds terrifying, not to mention unrealistic.
You're seeing people who have settled.. You'll know when you've found real love
i haven’t felt romantic attraction to anyone in a long time, but it’s not so bad. i’ve gotten good at being alone, almost to the point where having a partner seems burdensome. it would throw a wrench in my routine.
high five
Same here, I’ve never really felt romantic attraction towards anyone ever, and I’m completely fine with that. I like being alone and I’m definitely more suited to it too. I might find ‘the one’ later on in life, but for now, I’m happy being single and I’m definitely going to stay this way for a while
Glad to see you’re doing good :)
Highhhhh five 🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
Same , I gotten to the point where a relationship seems like too much work but doesn’t mean I wouldn’t mind having one lol
Same
Why fight an endless battle filled with misery and heartbreak if you can avoid the pain altogether by just giving up
Yesss my mindset 💯
I think giving up hurts more
Same
Yes. Embrace this mindset
I agree. Insanity is doing same thing over thinking life will give anything else
I’ve been Monk for 8 years, I’ve been single and I’ve enjoyed my peace as a single gentleman, yet whenever people ask me why haven’t you met someone yet or are you a closet gay or what’s wrong with you? I just wonder why people demonise single people? Yes there are those that are unlucky in love but then there are those that choose to be single to better themselves and I’m just really surprised why there’s such a dark matter based around the need to be loved when you should first learn to love yourself before others so you don’t feel those depressive episode sneak up behind you, take care of yourself first and foremost before trying to take care of someone else first then loving that person comes naturally.
You're a Buddhist monk?
@@jamesrocket5616
😂 no I should have explained myself I’m part of a likeminded philosophy group known as mgtow although it’s technically not a movement or a group it’s a mindset on men going their own way in life and simply choosing to improve themselves first and foremost before dating or marriage, some have even sworn off marriage because of the bankruptcy that comes with the divorce that follows suit, I hope that some what explains why I have sworn off Sex or Relationships😁
Humans are social creatures it is on the side to be single because by nature most people gravitate to relationships...though the single life can still be good because friends are the same, but most thoughts tend to lean romantically especially in women,
@@meanncat3050
We are a social creature that forms tribes. Single people can contribute equally as other adults but not have children which take more resources than give. And some single people, adopt and can still look after the others young.
There is lots of room for differences in a social and complex species.
Thanks for this, I'm exactly like you. I don't see any sense in a romantic relationship, and I'm a woman so it's like a sin, when i say i dont want a boyfriend everyone just choke on their air.... Like?? I dont need anyone I'm happy with myself and i couldn't ask more, if someday I fall in love with someone (which I think is improbable since I've never had a crush in 7 years) I will not let that pass, i just want to be happy, im not depressive or dumb just for like loneliness.
I'm 35 and I've been played, ghosted and hurt.
I'm bitter towards happy couples and avoid them like the plague.
But deep inside, I'm crying.
True love is something not everyone can have. Be financially independent and live a healthy life. Treat yourself well and be good to others. It’s better to live alone than living with a toxic person.
@Violet Blue …that’s where I’m at in my life
Man, human being are like pandas at this point, geeze. Super depressing we are only here to work made up jobs, for made up money, to live in a box or a collextions of boxes waiting to go back to a box to turn to dust? The only time I feel happiness is when I have people around me I can trust, but as you get older those prospect vanish. thank goodness for your off spring but even they have lives they are trying to cultivate. But with out them life would be measurable. Ever person is not toxic, but how would you know if your not open to meeting other people?
This maybe more advice for myself then you. Lol
Learned that one the hard way
@@Livingmybestlife7 Love and embrace yourself for being there for you.🌹
@@violetblue3347 have been practicing that for some time now 🤣🤣💝 so many layers
It's even harder for someone who is an introvert, not that good looking and not comedic. The interactions itself is draining, based on my own experience people don't really look at you as love interest and lastly, imo the ability to make people laughs are the main thing people like.
Damn this is me too except I'm a female. 😩
Same, but then they never take you seriously, even if you are having a breakdown.
@@Funkyskep I think that's just a terrible friends
Those traits describe me. I'm a big introvert, I know I'm not attractive whatsoever, and I don't have a funny bone in my body. I can't hardly talk to anyone I don't know face to face, without stumbling all over myself.
@@nightsilent1318 yes exactly me
I'm happily married for 15 years, and I have got to say; dating today sounds like hell. I do not envy young adults in today's dating scene. Staring at phone screens, distant attentions, backwards roles, rampant self-centeredness, passive aggressive problem solving "skills", impossible/unrealistic standards, and combative attitudes to name a few things I've observed consistently over the years.
Wdym with "backward roles"?
@@facuuu2809 I think he's on about gender roles in a relationship. Like what was normal for a male to do a female is now or is trying to do it and vise versa.
@@dantexonline4666 that's kinda a reductionist and not s good way of seeing things, we shouldn't follow archaic gender roles, principally not in relationships y'know, love doesn't work like that
Yeah, there's no doubt that it was easier when there was such a thing as confined dating pools. The internet age has brought upon the hookup and porn era, and if you have one or both of those, many are led to believe that a real relationship is too much of a hassle.
@@thisiswarhuhwow6120 It's just deeply sad to see so many, many people view eachother as a means to an end.
I don't believe I am designed to ever be in love. I am a great friend, educated, a great person, with a great personality as many people say about me. However, it feels like I failed with love. I don't believe I was made to have true unconditional love with anyone on a romantic level. As I cry accepting this reality of my life, I believe in love for others...just not for me.
It's incredibly fitting this video came to me now, yesterday I had a shitty day when it came to this, thanks to a family picture situation, basically everyone in my core family is married, with me being single the numbers are uneven, and the photographer just came in and said "Haha, this picture would be a little easier if you brought your girlfriend with you" Like gee yeah thanks for rubbing it in sir, the interesting thing about that is that his joke didn't make me angry, it didn't make me feel bad about the situation, I felt nothing because by this point I already accepted love is something I'll never find again, the fire I once had in my eyes for a soulmate is dead.
God that's so me. Especially since I can no longer have children. I feel like my chance at a true family is gone. Most people my age have already been married so I'm just some loser who hasn't. But I don't really feel like a loser anymore because I've accepted the fact that I'll be alone.
@@janejones7638 Dang that's rough, I'm only 21 and I'm afraid I might never have a family and children, although that fear is completely irrational at this time. People in my family tree naturally get married later in life (especially the men) so I just need patience.
I’m the only single woman in my large family so I completely relate
Same for me too, this world we live in really blows.
I feel you completely man. This shit sucks monkey balls🙄
if someone ever fell in love with me I'd seriously question their sanity and taste, lol
I would never be part of a club that excepted me as members
Yeah, I feel that. My self esteem is so down the drain that I don't think I could actually believe that someone did love me. Love me in a romantic way, that is. I've tried to explain to my parents that there's a difference between them loving me and having a partner love me. They love me by virtue of being their son, I could be the biggest asshole and they'd still love me, it's biological rather than a choice. Romantic love is a choice, and therefore I place a lot more value on it.
Same lol
On god bro, if she likes me then her standards are in absolute hell 💀
I used to be like that. Then, I started therapy, taking care of myself and letting my true self out in the world. Now the situation is upsidedown. I think that nobody is my "right match" cuz I don't feel anyone at my level. Love sucks more than college
"The person you're looking for may not even exist" but "don't settle"...?
Honestly all this did was confirm that some people just aren't going to experience real authentic love. And that those people aren't alone. We are alone, together, yay.
At the end of the day no one is perfect, we all have to settle. You just need to choose what you're willing to settle for and accept the shortcomings. Or, you know, be alone forever lol.
"the person you're looking for"
no not may not exist. this person simply don't exist and never will because it's in your mind. oyu live in dreamworld and spit on anything that is not even remotely close to it. hence you don't know to know and appreciate others. they are only the mean to an end for you.
People won't experience real authentic love because it just don't exist. It's a fallacy.
The best part of any relationship is the first 6-8months. After that it goes to hell and becomes a chore. A relationship should never be a chore. It should compliment your life, not complicate it.
Love is temporary monke is eternal
@@unlimited971 Giving attention to your partner is the bare minimum. If you consider women annoying just for wanting attention from their partner, then you must've gotten little to no attention from others in the past and you could care less if they (your partner) got any, since you had to go through not receiving any attention. You may have experienced a bad relationship with the wrong person there, bud.
Also, men nag all day long about things that bother them too, so it's a common thing between many human beings.
I've had nothing but trauma via romantic love. I've learned to love myself, and flourish. I no longer search for others to share my life with, and I am better for it
Timestamps for the future people:
cat 0:46
1) If a date doesn't goes well or plan, you shut down 1:24
2) You don't take up opportunities to meet new people anymore 1:56
3) You feel jealous when you see or are around other couples 2:29
4) You have gotten it into your head that everyone is playing games 3:02
5) You may consider setting for someone you don't love or you have unrealistic expectations 3:39
6) You feel that you are unable to love another person deeply 4:24
cat 5:31
Ty fellow Time Traveler
Yay, thanks!
The cat timestap was appreciated ty! (I’m on my dads account btw)
But how a month ago? :o
Btw Take Care guys :))
thank you for cat
A lack of love isn't the reason why people break up. Love doesn't keep a relationship together. Respect, duty, accountability, loyalty to a community is what keeps a relationship together.
The problem is most people are users and waiting for the better opportunity.
@L then whats necessary to keep a relationship going?
@@userm180 Communication, Compromise, and Open-Mindedness.
@@williamspears1627 ure right
@jordypoe somebody you love should be able to compromise, talk things out, give you respect and loyalty. That’s like the bare minimum. A lover shouldn’t be i loyal to you, disrespect you and your wishes, and turn to scream at you whenever they’re upset. It’s pretty simple?
They forgot a few more: #7...You get tired of putting effort in and getting little to nothing in return.
#8...You hear the "It's not you, it's me, I'm not ready for a relationship" speech then several weeks later you see them with someone else.
Those are the two MAIN reasons why some to most of us have given up and stopped looking...we're better off by ourselves with our peace of mind and spirit.
It's usually around that time where their new relationship starts falling apart around them and they try to come back to you because they realize they screwed up in a MAJOR way.
the "It's not you, it's me, I'm not ready for a relationship" - part I can relate to quite strongly - the last women I've been with told me she didn't want a relationship because she wanted to explore herself or some shit like this and then went into another relationship one or two months later - one year later she tried to be friends with me and complained about this relationship, thats how I found out.
I was kinda shocked how she managed to make herself look this stupid and expects me to trust her in any way after this obvious lie
"I like you as a friend" Yeh uh i have enough of them, goodbye!
>"It's not you, it's me, I'm not ready for a relationship"
It's just a sugarcoated way of saying "You're not my type of person"
putting more effort and getting nothing, the bare minimum human decency is the only thing i know
"So let it be war, from the skies of Terra to the Galactic rim. Let the seas boil, let the skies fall." -Horus Luprical, Warhammer 40k.
I've been in and out of 3 different relationships over a span of 10 years. All long-distance, all overseas. I feel that as an introvert, it's harder to just go out and meet someone. Bars and clubs are environments I don't like to be in, and yet they're some of the most recommended places for me to meet people. After 3 love experiences, which all ended horribly - one was a catfish, one was emotionally manipulative, and one was abusive - and having absolutely no luck on dating apps (which to me feel like the commodification of the human experience of love, and it feels so insidious), from people straight up lying to me, ghosting, being rude, whilst seeing others around you form relationships, while not necessarily an embittering experience, is definitely a dejecting one. Over time, I've grown a backbone, realised my worth, and, whilst I can definitely identify with a couple of points on this list, I know I have a lot of love to give. I'm deeply romantic and affectionate at heart, and as much as it can hurt, I want to share all that with someone. I suppose this whole comment is just me voicing to myself that, I haven't given up, I don't want to give up. But especially in modern society, and the culture around dating, it would be dishonest not to admit that finding love has become an emotionally tiring experience. Best of luck to everyone out there. You are all worthy of love, no matter what other may have done to make you feel otherwise, or no matter what you may think of yourself. Focus on "being" the right person, not just looking for them.
Please dont give up!
I gave up.
When does it ever not hurt? How come you can spend weeks, months, years trying to make it work, I stopped playing video games for a woman, I barely saw any of my friends for about a year because she told me it seems childish to spend so much time with them and that she needs me at her side.
I worked overtime for multiple months to help her pay debts she had - I did everything I thought I could somehow do for her. I was mad in love you see...
Yet when she yelled at me more often, when she told me to calm down but I was barely speaking and she was filling the whole house with her voice...
When I nearly had enough and told her that I can't accept it staying like that, and that I want us to work it out... She got louder again... At the start of the relationship she truly made my doubts go away, she showed me affection and that she trusted me... Yet in that moment, with a angry look in her face, she told me that she fears me, that she does not trust me - and in that moment my thoughts, my feelings, they just snapped. Colors faded in my perception, the woman I used to love above all else (within seconds) was just another woman to me.
I sat down on the couch, motionless, at first without a single tear. I was just absolutely confused. All these great feelings, these months of looking in her face and seeing my eternal partner, and suddenly I realized she did not see me the same again, realized I was just as much a danger in her eyes as any other man she'd see on the street, that I was together with a woman that despised me if the mood fits. Shortly thereafter, I heard her soften her voice, asking me if everything is okay - and I looked at her in her eyes, still confused about this inner conflict, and told her that I don't know if I love her anymore, that it feels like she just broke my heart. Suddenly she looked worried. Suddenly she sounded worried. Sat down next to me, took me in her arms and apologized, but I just couldn't anymore, her touch felt threatening, felt like a bribe, it felt as though she just didn't want to lose her asset. She must've realized then that something inside me changed in that instant, honey became her words, sorrow her intention - but my heart already felt cold. I wanted to punch myself so badly, I wanted to hurt the one responsible for this mess, who gave up over a year of close contact with friends I had since we've been children, who has barely seen any family of himself that whole time, who made himself a slave to her love.
I stood up and told her the way it is. That what she said to me hurt me so deeply that now I've felt completely empty emotionally. She cried, I didn't want her to cry and I wanted to somehow assure her - but I couldn't. I couldn't lie to her nor myself, and thought that the sooner it hurts the earlier she'll stop crying because of me.
When I told her that it is over, she cried even more heavily.
With no comfort I could've given her in that moment, I went and packed the few things I had at her house. Clothes, hygiene articles, some belongings - midway in she comes up the stairs, red face but dried up, and told me to get my shoes and jacket and that she'll pack the rest of my things in a box to carry my stuff in (I've been living about a 3 hour drive from her place originally and could come back to living with my brother for a bit of time). That whole time I was conflicted inside myself, I felt bad for her, felt angry about some of her behavior, I wanted to save myself and yet I despised myself from the bottom of my heart... She spoke to me shortly from up the stairs, angrily yelled again that now she sees that I only used her for her body - in that moment, I was both sure that leaving her was the right decision, but also it hurt so fkin deep... I never was such a guy, I wrote her poems when I had free time, she was the first in the relationship to make a move on me after I've been very careful not to rush her in any way, and yet I realized - in her story to anyone, I'll probably end up the same way she told me about her exes. About these secretly twisted men who abused her so much, supposedly. Every single one was evil pretty much, and now and despite everything, in the eyes of the woman I used to love more than myself, I turned into a monster, some scum of a man... Just a few more shoelaces... Tears started dropping on my shoes, my hands started shaking even harder - she told me to hurry up, I tries - she opened the door, I was nearly done... When she stepped behind me and before I fully got up, she kicked/ram/pushed me out the door frame, making me fall out the door into the frontyard and threw the box with my stuff after me. I slowly got up, took the box and slowly went to my car. The people in the neighborhood, or atleast those currently on the street, all stared at me in silence upon me entering the public space. I sat down the box on the passenger's seat, went around and sat in the driver seat. I thought to myself... It's over... I got away... I won't have to see her again... Some of these thoughts felt as though I was released from imprisonment and yet, as I was thinking that it's good that it's over, finally full sadness broke out. I probably cried for half an hour atleast. With my face sore and red, I calmed myself, gotta focus on the street. Thought about how likely I'd have an accident if I wouldn't focus, and I was sure that I'd just end myself then and there were I to harm someone due to drama and sadness - the drive back was an emotionless, seemingly never ending grey world.
This whole deal left me scarred for the first few years after, and even now I cannot help but appreciate the highs and form a ball of sadness while laying in bed due thinking about the low's. Not everything was bad, I cannot lie to myself that other than some really toxic behavior, well other than that she was the first woman and the only ever since that I never doubted emotionally. At some time, I really thought I found her, my true and only partner. I was already struggling with love prior to that relationship, now just the mention of love in regards to me either annoys or let's me slowly slide into the next depressing few days.
I don't think I will ever be able to love again. I don't think I'd even want that. I don't know if I wouldn't might draw similarities to this past and I also don't want to be unfair to someone else this way. No, others are happy if they are together with others, that's how it always was, that's how it always turned out to be.
I renewed the bonds of friendship with 3 of my best friends, turns out it wasn't even that hard, 2 of them were as though nothing ever changed, 1 was a little sassy drama queen but soon joked about how I need to pay for these past crimes leaving him as a friend by buying the next pizza. :')
So yeah, while I'm emotionally scarred, my friends and overall close family members are enough for me to be generally happy.
Other than that, I don't know if I could survive this situation 2.0 - already just got the curve, and getting the curve in this context means living my life with quite a lil bit of depression just barely kept out of view and be a functioning human being while enjoying these few times with friends and family.
Anyway, sorry for dumping a bit of trauma in here, but I think it helped me a bit, even if it hurts rn in the moment - medicine tends to be bitter, and if I don't get this off my chest somehow it just might pain me more over a longer period (ain't no wish to trauma dump fully unto my friends, they know the gist but I also don't want to take a constant emotional toll on them).
So yeah, ima gon live my forseeable life as a loveless man trying to be there for those that count in his life.
2 of my best friend's already got children by now and I fill some kind of Uncle role, that already is more important than some dude and his self hating past ;)
@@__-tp4tmThat sounds very rough but I'm glad you got away from her. It is confusing when people seem like they're great, only to realize they never were. It's easy to see from the outside-in but not when you're the one invested in the person. It's never healthy for anyone to isolate you, though, I had a guy demand so much of my time online that I was pretty much ignoring my family and friends for his sake and it felt horrible. Kind of like your one woman, this one guy fractured a lot of trust I have in people in general, my idea of romance, and all sorts of things. I am still getting over anxieties that caused me to people-please because I always had to please him so he wouldn't get upset.
I hope you've not had too many sad episodes and that you've been generally happy in life. It sounds like you have at least around friends. Pain like that definitely doesn't go away but all you can do with it really is learn to deal with it.
@@__-tp4tm This is one of the most touching comments I've ever read.
I think you did absolutely the right thing in this situation. But... please never lose yourself or touch with your friends or family because of someone, even it's your partner.
Wish you the best, Stranger.
@@__-tp4tm
Bro you're strong for going through this. After reading your story, I'm giving up on love too.
“I’m lonely, but I ain’t that lonely yet.” - The White Stripes.
Such a banger band with an amazing quote 💜
Dwight Yoakem , the country music dude.
I don't even listen to this kind of music but I know this song "2 can be as bad as 1 it's the loneliest number since the number 1 oh......"
You're dismissive avoidant
After a while, you realize you mistook horney for lonely.
The other day I had a dream where I had a girlfriend, it was something so simple, we were just hugging, but I genuinely felt happy, it was a dream but I remember feeling happy, and as soon as I woke up, I started crying, I felt horrible when i realized it was just a dream, I'm about to be 22 never had a girlfriend or been liked by anyone, I'm gonna die alone, my mind is so intoxicated with bad thoughts about myself, the First and last time I told a girl I like her was 7 years ago, and she laughed in my face , so yeah thanks to that day I became so insecure, all I want it's to feel loved by a significant other
you're 22 you have plenty of time for real! there are people in their 30s, 40s even older who just found love. keep on meeting people. it's not because one person rejected you that everyone will do it. maybe you've been a bit clumsy, just try to know the person better before confessing, or maybe you were not what this girl was looking for but there are plenty of other single women with different tastes in men! the more you know them, the more you'll know if it's reciprocal. women are just as insecure as you, you don't have to worry
Dude, I am about to be 26. Trust me I feel sad sometimes as well for being single but I can't help it, I will make sure that if I died single at least I want to die knowing that I contributed something in this world. So focus on your life goals and career.
Last night I dreamt
That somebody loved me
No hope - but no harm
Just another false alarm
Last night I felt
Real arms around me
No hope - no harm
Just another false alarm
So, tell me how long
Before the last one ?
And tell me how long
Before the last one ?
This story is old - I KNOW
But it goes on
This story is old - I KNOW
But it goes on
(The Smiths : _Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me_
album : "Strangeways, Here We Come")
@@julosx i thought exactly in the same song ☹️
You're still young.Im 39 😒
I'm 40+ and never had a girlfriend so, yes, I've given up on love
My professor was over 60 years old and she told me she still dating. She doesn't have any children or anything and she was a little embarrassed to tell me, but I was happy for her!
I have another professor who's old and gray, I'm assuming he's above 60 years old, he has a single daughter who is 6 years old and he has a wife, so he started quite late but he seems very very happy to talk about his wife and child!
Sometimes it doesn't happen, but sometimes it does!
What about a dude ?
Youre prolly gay
I'm 51. I've had boyfriends but I've never really been in love with someone. I'm only interested in men but it seems like the good ones aren't interested in me. I won't settle because I'd honestly rather be alone. I live with my mother (she's elderly and needs my help). I'd love to do some of the things that I do with her with a partner. I'm disabled and I can't go many places to meet men. So unless he falls from a tree, it's unlikely that I'll meet anybody.
you're trolling right?
Having been used and cheated on by so many women, it more left me jaded and emotionally destroyed when it comes down to relationships and love. As much as it sucks to not be able to give love, it also leaves me with being not having trust in the other, especially since I'm always in fear of not being enough, fearing that I'll just wind up abandoned and forgotten about, and feeling like I'd be the one doing her harm though it would be entirely unintentional.
I was in a great relationship for 7 years. One day she just told me she wanted to move out and she packed up and left. I was absolutely devastated, and couldn't understand what happened. Everything was so good (even by her own admission, she told me how happy and lucky she felt just weeks beforehand), so I was just left completely dumbfounded. I've tried to date again in the time since, but I've just never have clicked with anyone else. That's the worst part; feeling like you're a broken person and unable to ever truly feel love again.
I know what you mean. My ex and I went from having the best vacation together to her telling me she had feelings for someone else within a week. I'm afraid of love because they can just leave at any time.
Yup… I just went through this on Monday. It was a good six months and I started talking exclusively to him. Well.. I feel emotionally distant from my own feelings. It’s just pain and sadness I feel for myself. I swear my hearts strings get tighter every time I think about this
Use this time to upgrade yourself, physically and emotionally.
My tip is: hit the gym ans listen to Alan Watts
Don't feel pressured to get into a relationship if you aren't ready. Not everything has to be about dating, take time for yourself and it will be okay
The worst is when they aren't honest with you about how they are truly feeling - so you're there thinking everything is going well, they're *telling* you they're happy etc. and then 'out of the blue' they pull the plug. What that does is make you feel like you can't trust yourself to read romantic relationships correctly, you fear trusting others, and it leaves you with the potential to anxiously look for signs of disastisfaction/unhappiness in any future relationship - and that is no way to live. It robs you of peace of mind and the ability to enjoy yourself/your partner fully.
28 yo, never been in a relationship, anxiety, no self esteem, depressed. I wouldn’t want to be a bother or emotionally hurt another person so I choose to be alone.
same
i have the same reason
Yep. But, that doesn't mean you should stop hanging out with others completely. Sure, maybe tone it down. But still, hang out with others. Also if you keel thinking you'll hurt someone, you'll do it.
Same what a pointless shit
I’m 24 and that’s exactly how I feel too. I don’t want to be an emotional burden on someone
I can definitely say I feel that twinge of jealousy around couples. Especially since all of my friends are in relationships. A little over a year ago I went out to celebrate a friends bday and I was the only single guy in the group. More then once everyone got into deep conversation with their significant other or two couples started sharing stories and I was left sitting there like a lump. A lonely lump. It didn't feel good.
I'm also guilty of "not trying new things". People tell me to go out more and I'll meet new people, but the problem is I don't know where to go. There's no where that interests me.
Those same people wouldn't dare try to do things alone without their partner. Lol and society says "you must fall in love with your self" some ppl in relationship can't be alone for a day! As singles trying not to stay this way, we have no choice but to try, if not we die.
this makes you want to fall more into isolation because you have no 'couple' stories to share. or the couples all joke with each other and have in jokes and you have nothing. I've been there. It's rough.
Go have fun you have a whole life. Don't bother being single, it's too damn freaking good. What happens will happen and don't force yourself to be in a relationship (that's what makes people velue more for who you are). So think on your goddamn self and go have fun, i'm sure there's a place that you like to go besides being stuck at home
Edit: I believe in you
Partly I know what you felt. I had similar experience, just not as single, but I was the only one, who didn't had a child. (Still have none, and chances are bad, since my gf breaks up with me.)
Anyway!
Don't let yourself down. IF you noticed, that you don't try new things, and feel guilty, than you made the first steps!
It is important to know your issues, and if you know them, as the next step, you can work on it. Will be hard, but it is worth.
PS: If I see right, than I say simply Luna. :)
How old are you?
I honestly cry myself to sleep because I have to pretend that I'm happy going out with my friends and their significant others, but I'm actually dying inside knowing that I will never have what they have
🫂❤️
Me on my bed at 1:48 a.m reading this crying as hell
My friends date my crushes. I was rejected or people don't respond or etc etc etc. There's something telling that I'll die alone in my head and if I have a relationship I'll be replaced.
Same…
I seen most of my friends start hooking up and getting married in my early 20's but I didn't feel sorry for myself. Neither do I feel that I've missed out on all that relationship, marriage and dating trip. I'm 46 now and for me I always thought that if it was meant to happen it probably would happen naturally, without going looking for it. Some people just aren't meant to meet their other half simply because they're already complete within themselves. A lot of people give in to this silly idea that you're meant to be in a relationship, meant to be married simply because outside influences and pressures push that idea. It's wrong for some people. Accepting the fact that you're ok on your own is the solution to this problem. Besides, you never know what the future holds and perhaps you'll meet your ideal partner later in life. There should be no pressure on anybody to get into relationships and marriages, there's no rush and it's also not for everybody.
People that get married young often regret it............I know i did.
Fellow Gen-Xer here. Most people I knew got married for the wrong reasons - social pressure or the need for someone to "complete" them being the most prevalent. Most of them are divorced, some had multiple marriages.
Not all people are suited for or meant to be in relationships. Relationships are not for everyone. Don't try to force something if it isn't working for you.
You can make a decent life for yourself and live on your own.
A lot of people are better off not being in relationships.
"Some people just aren't meant to meet their other half simply because they're already complete within themselves." This idea is very comforting. Thank you.
I’m in my early 20’s and my bloodline ends with me for roughly 2-3 solid reasons, one being the fact I’m asexual. I’m open to an intimate, platonic relationship because I like having meaningful relationships as much as the next guy, but I feel no real, intrinsic need to find a romantic partner. You’re right, the whole idea that you need a partner/spouse/etc and have kids is a societal pressure and isn’t truly needed of people nowadays. This isn’t the dark ages, we have plenty of people on earth. We should be allowed to be cool with ourselves.
PREACH
Going through this comment section is incredibly comforting, seeing so many other people who you can relate. After dealing with an assault, on top of a few emotionally abusive relationships over the years, I’ve almost given up on the idea of ever being a wife or a mom in the future. At 27, part of me is just like forget it.
I’m trying not to think so much about it these days, and more-so trying to better myself mentally and emotionally. Not sure where I’ll end up relationship wise, but hopefully I’ll love myself more.
Abusive relationships really are just fucking hard to recover from. I got out of mine almost five years ago and it still haunts me.
Almost 28 here, I feel you, Maya... I'm sorry I don't have any words of comfort to offer but a hug from Some Side Of The Pond :(
Ah the regrets of riding 🐔🎠
@@Sixnipplesonebreast Had one many years ago, never got over it as now I do not trust women at all.
@@Sixnipplesonebreast got out of one 4 1/2 years ago and it completely shattered me. I really thought this person was going to be the one. And then they shattered me. I just gave up on love. I’m alone and have just accepted I’m going to be alone.
After being dumped the day before my (supposed) marriage, it's hard not to give up on love. It seems like it's all a big joke, and I will never truly experience what love actually is.
Ouch, that sounds painful, I'm sorry this has happened to you my man 😔
I could truly resonate with what you said in your comment. Sorry to hear what happened to you. I was dumped last year by my boyfriend after 4 years and I'm still recovering and I'm in therapy because of it. I will say it nearly destroyed me, but I am single now and am not looking for another person to do the sane thing to me. I believe I can only rely on myself from now on and I am. I hope things get better for you. But love truly is a joke nowadays
youre a fool for thinking women have humane feelings and humane intentions! She dumped you intentionally to hurt you! You were only the next victim in line!
It's just a redirection in life. Wasn't meant to be. Saved you many headaches. Change the narrative. Be happy
If you weren't experiencing love you are lucky she dumped you right before you were supposed to get married.
The day I renounced love and romance was one of the most liberating and freeing days of my life. This is the happiest I’ve ever been
After betrayal, narcissism, fake people. I rather put my efforts on myself first, on things that I like doing and focusing on my goals now. I'm tired of giving my best to people who did not deserve it and my time. They hurt me and disappointed me a lot. I have never felt happier in my life. People criticize my way of living my life but these same people complain all the time about their boring life with their partners 😂 Now I am not in that 'war zone' of suffering anymore. It's our choice to be happy or miserable 🤷
Amen! I came here to say something similar but you said it perfectly. I know when I come home, I can be in whatever mood I am in and do what I want to do. (After I take care of my dogs). It’s freeing.
You have no idea how your comment reasonates with me.
I said to a workmate recently "I'm single now after my divorce, and I wanna stay that way". You've said exactly what I was thinking. I've heard too many complain about their partners to want to be with someone anymore.
Yup relationships are extremely overrated. Most couples are basically just working out all their trauma and issues onto each other
Well everything has it's merits
For me, it's basically that I really love my freedom.
The idea of having to commit to someone else other than myself is not something I'm willing to venture into.
I, truthfully, LOVE the fact that I can say, do, and go wherever I want, whenever I want, and feel ZERO guilt when I don't feel like engaging in anything.
If I want to socialize, I can. If I crave alone time, I don't have to dread the thought of having to explain why.
I give myself what I need just fine--no need to find love in someone else to be happy or feel fulfilled.
I have, in myself, all the true love that I need.
This is totally me.
I feel totally the same , I have a freind who was desperately trying to find someone to date , I asked him why can't he be single and wait to find that someone he told me that he don't like to stay single . I have also girl freind who talk a lot of wanting to marry someone and they are scared to be single all their lives so they choose someone that they don't know or like only to not staying single .I totally respect their opinion but sometimes I don't get it why people are so obsessed with dating
And in the end they say that I am weird and that I am the only person they know who isn't interested in love . I love my alone time and I don't find it necessary to commit to someone to be happy
i'm under the aromantic spectrum, and honestly related alot to this
Good for you!
Im the same exact way. Dont you get touch deprived? Lonely?
When you can't even keep "friends" I don't think I'll be needing a relationship anytime soon
Edit: wow I wrote this comment 2 years ago and didn't expect to see this many people felt the same way 🥲 it makes me happy to form some sort of solidarity with everyone but also sad many experiences this. I did end up gaining like at least 1 person who I could totally call a friend even years later so I'm hoping you guys the best in finding great friendships and relationships as well ❤
oof i feel this on so many levels
I've given up searching. I dont think I'll ever find any but I dont care anymore.
most "friends" are not worth of the title, so.
Same dude man
I’ll be youre friend bud, cause I feel your pain
I always ask myself “where did I go wrong in life”. I’m 27, college educated, make great income, attractive, work out daily, create artwork, etc. All my friends are confused as to why I’m single and some believe something’s wrong with me. After having so many disappointing experiences, I’ve given up completely on pursuing women. I no longer see the point in being “vulnerable” like women ask for. Because I’ve shown my vulnerable side, only to be walked away from. I don’t have the energy and motivation anymore to constantly seek out and satisfy a woman’s every wants and desires. Because as men, we’re only loved based on how much we provide.
@@darthvader1793 easier said than done, buddy.
Well... It's not true that a lot of women only think about "how much the man provides", but some do. I think it has to do with the way some women grow up. As a woman, I have both kind of women as friends, the ones that think men should earn enough and giving them enough means that they love them enough and I have friends that fell in love with men that aren't good providers at all, but they really don't care about that, because they value more other features about their partners. So... Don't be discouraged, maybe you were looking in the wrong place.
Sad but true words 💔 😢 well at least you got all those other things going for you. Imagine ppl that don't. Odds are even worse.
@@sakurikitty Lies and more lies.
I’m not vulnerable because they only leave after you open up
Im not against love in any way, shape or form, but as someone who has no interest in dating and not wanting a relationship ever, i see this as a big, big win for me! I hate talking to people.
I feel like “love” is more difficult to find than ever. Seems like all people care about is lust
Lust and status have been the name of the game for at least the last 100,000 years of Human evolution
Well I'd say for me in the beginning it was a search for "love" and the more it hurt me, the more I prefered the "lust" route, if you know what I mean
Very true. I don't want to have sex immediately because I was sexually abused. So many men are just after the physical aspects of love.
"Romance is dead and all is lust" - MIW, sadly it's the world we live in
And money
After seeing this video, I can happily conclude that I have in fact NOT given up on love at all. I just don't want a partner. I love my friends, I love seeing happy couples, I love weddings, I love love. I am just happier on my own than with another person. I'm proud of my independence, my confidence and the love I have for myself. I love being the weirdo who goes to the movies by herself. I enjoy my own company!
i love your positivity!
i felt this too
Among the sad comments and topics this made me smile, thanks and stay positive!
@@ayoutubecommenter7494 Glad to have made you smile! Hope you have a wonderful day
MEEEEE
After what I learned in reality of relationships don’t last in this generation, I was slowly begin to doubt myself if I’m going to find the right partner in the future. I feel like most people just give up on love and it’s extremely difficult to find one in the world. Sometimes do I think about it the more it angers and frustrates me. Even though I have no experience of dating.
you dont need a partner the love you seek or want already reside within you noting is outside of you
everything outside of you see in others is noting more than a reflection of how you feel about your self noting is to do with anyone else
i have never felt love for women and never been told told by anyone they love me
every relationship i have had they have been emotionally unavailable so the attracts their with both people
yet their is no connection
@@opticalman6417 Depends
@@opticalman6417 I have met a lot of emotionally unavailable people but I love too hard lol
@@opticalman6417 Grammar. Think about the intelligence of the next generation.
I don't want to socialize at all. All of this is just games, betrayal, pain, efforts for absolutly nothing. I'm fine on my own. Every time i tried to open up, i failed on all aspects of life and everything became a nightmare, i hate when people talk about me, and my ocd is painful. So i prefer to be left alone.
As someone who’s had numerous women say “I wish I could find a guy just like you! Your smart, funny, know so much cool stuff!… I just can’t date you, your not really my type.” It’s a double backhand to the face, but, this video somewhat helps.
I always feel like in this generation it's way harder to find someone and connect with a person because everyone is on their phone these days and you don't build real connections over the phone...
True...but that's why you gotta stay off your phone for a bit to enjoy your time with others.
This is a strong fact. Something like a phone less date night might work.
This though probably why I’ve been just working out heavily and video gaming while on bus, everyone seems so closed off so I just kind of shut off my brain and wait til my stop. 🤷♂️
People under a certain age are glued to phone, its really destructive.
And cheating is a thing nowadays 😂😂
The jealousy sign hits me close to home, seeing happy couples swing their arms, walk arm in arm into a restraunt, I've always wanted that. Just recently I saw my friend got engaged to his long time girlfriend and I was quite envious of what those two had. So I said "Why not, let's give the world another happy ending!". So I asked my crush out the very next day and, well, the answer was a resounding no. At least my friend is happy.
I hope everything comes together for you one day man. I moved In recently with a couple of my good friends. When we agreed to move in with each other we were all Single but now they are both in relationships. Their girlfriends are over all the time and they wonder why I don’t end up hanging out with the four of them. I tell them I just wanna be alone or I tell them I’m just giving y’all space but in reality it sucks being in a room full of people and feeling alone
im sorry for yall :( i hope everything works out for the best for yall. God bless
Everybody Gangsta until your friend starts wallowing because he got dumped
When you’re always someone’s second, when you’re never someone’s priority- it becomes easier to just give up.
At this point I’d rather just stick to my crushes on fictional characters /hj
Or actors! :D
Your waifu will never let you down.
Haha, so true. It is much more easier that way
The fact that you got a Xiao pfp makes this comment so much more relatable for me :D
@@MissKairelle lol
The thing is giving up on seeking love gave me peace. Im now a lot happy by surrounding myself with my passions and things I adore. The possibility of finding deep connected love is very slim.If you hate having a shallow relationship it's better to give up on romantic love. Instead help people, volunteer yourself and fill your life with passions , hobbies that matter to you. You will have a fulfilling life .
Agreed ❤️
Taken under protest. But sadly, I agree 100%
The thing is that, if you want children, your own children, you need a significant other.
I agree however in my case their also seems to be nothing I can ever truly come to enjoy. Truth is I work 100+ hrs. every week not because I need the money (although I do) but because I dread the empty feeling that comes with it. I want to Find Love but I don't seem to be able to find it even in the world of things. I guess what I'm really afraid of is finding out that there might actually something to me that can be loved. So much of my self image is built upon service to others and denial of self that If I don't hate myself then the question arises "what is the point of me?". I don't know how I can be a good person If my life is lived in such a way that brings me benefit. It is not that I am depressed or suicidal but rather if I can control where even some of the pain in life goes I'd rather it be me than some one else. I cant just decide to let others hurt when I could alleviate even a small portion of it.
Wise words
I always get scared and confused when there’s an “opportunity” in front of me, i always like “why this person wants to know about me?” “Why would someone find me attractive?” etc, before watching this video i never knew i “given up” on love this bad, looking at how much i can relate to the points mention
yeah, I feel the same, esp I have insecurity on my face (I have acne-prone skin type so my face always full of acne) many times I doubted that if they truly see me attractive while I don't see the same :)
Same here
And this frustrates me so much because i always be like “why no one wants me” when i’m literally the one who blocking the opportunity, HOW TO CHANGE THIS? 🥲
@@firafirr If you consider yourself unworthy of attraction, you should try to identify the cause of this. Low self-esteem, bad past relationships, insecurity etc. and work on that. Once you have raised yourself to a point where you can accept yourself as you are, you won't be so shocked when people find you attractive.
@@lifeofalens_ I had shocking acne for years. People who've never had it have no idea how disabling it can be. I work in medicine & was shocked to see it's now recognised as such. I mean, it's on your FACE, the part you present to the world all day long & some people can be very rude & insulting. I'm 61 now, so in my youth there was no treatment & people would give totally ignorant advice, eg, "you need to wash properly or more often" like you were DIRTY. Or "you shouldn't eat so much oily or fatty food" - I HATED fatty food & was thin as a rake. So, when the first-ever successful treatment for acne came out, I went to the dermatologist & got it. It is called ROACCUTANE. The younger u take it, the higher the chance of permanent cure.
I didn't expect it, but IT CHANGED MY LIFE! I had this perfect flawless complection!
So get urself to the doctor & get it fixed! It makes your skin non-oily, helps to lessen the scars among other things.
Good luck💖
I gave up on finding love. No use to look for something that won't happen.
And trust me even if anyone says thier are plenty of fish in the sea it's a bullshit scam and they talk about how the right one will show up magically it's bs thier is no such thing as the right one it's best to never give them a chance not even try to let one of them to try and find out who you are Or give them a chance just because they like you it's a bs scam to rob you in the world of man walking their own way we will proudly and willing to give up on it and live Happy and never again Approach again
I've given up looking for someone to love me like I need. I'm working on loving myself, because that's the love that I really need.
Amen!!! Hope that journey is going well!
Same here ❤️wish you all the best! We got this
I'm not a fan of vulnerability. Vulnerability exposes you to the elements of dirt getting kicked in your eye, people stabbing you in the back, and other things. Vulnerability is a luxury afforded to certain kinds of people and not others. I see people like this who are accepted for who they are no matter what they do, say, or even look like. The luxuriously vulnerable can even get away with being emotional vampires.
Agreed.
I feel exactly the same
I agree. Some of us cant afford to be vulnerable bc we know how the world works and we won't be supported
yes yes YES.
Agreed 💯💯💯
21, never been on a date or been in a real relationship. Not that that's surprising or baffling to me, there's nothing worthwhile about me, I'm not attractive in any way and can't function like normal people. Plus I don't really feel emotion anymore so I probably couldn't love someone the way they deserve anyway. I guess I get lonely maybe, but I don't know what I'm missing so it's hard to tell. I wonder if some people are supposed to be alone, I'm just not good.
Fall in love with yourself first.
I know it's a very cliche line to say but I have experienced it first hand.
I have had a bucket load of insecurities all my life(I'll be turning 24 soon). Regarding how I look,my social skills,my anxiety, constantly wondering how people think about me.
I started working on myself recently(it's been 5 months now) mainly because I couldn't afford therapy and I was tired of feeling sorry for myself.
I feel way better now about myself. I feel love inside me. That's such a good feeling.
I am working on myself selfishly(not that I am harming others in the way). I am super grateful for whatever I have and I am constantly trying my best to love myself.
Not kidding J T, but the day you start feeling that way you'll feel ' real emotions' and it'll be for yourself. You'll start feeling more 'normal'. And that thing you said about not knowing what you are missing ... That feeling will eventually go away.
Trust me on that.
Take baby steps to become comfortable with who you are.
You have you at the end of the day. You gotta love yourself unconditionally.
Sending lots of love to anybody reading this. 💕
Find out what you can improve on about yourself, just pick only one thing for starters (because otherwise it's too many things in one go) and go from there, one tiny step at a time. Once you improve that, then try improving the next thing, one tiny step at a time.
@@chandra_aditi so true
I'm turning 23 soon and I've never been in a relationship, not even a single date. i long for love sometimes I've reached the point of im okay with myself only. i made myself my best friend and companion i love her and nurture her everyday. wishing the best for u💗
Im in the same boat dude
I just turned 20 and all my dating experiences have been situationships where I thought I was going to have a real boyfriend but ended up getting ghosted, he just wanted to hook up or friendzoned. It sucks but I’ll say this for everyone and myself, never give up even if you feel like you’ll never find love, self love is the most important thing that you’ll ever have.
It isn't so much feeling like a third wheel when being around friends who are in relationships, when you're single. The problem is, in a group setting, they all talk about married life (and their kids, if they have any) and become their own little clique. And since you, the only single person, can't relate, they end up forgetting about you. Why wouldn't you end up drifting apart from them? It's better to not be around them than to be ignored.
I've been in that boat. I'm 23 and every friend that I have known since high-school is married. We will go out to dinners and game nights and such but I always feel a little left out and feel like I have to kind of insert myself into the group despite knowing them for almost a decade.
@@Jason0398 That's normie herd mentality. Won't help. Find the right reason first
@@Jason0398 I would never want to get married that young honestly. Your 20s should be about you and being selfish following your own goals because once you get married and have kids that becomes really difficult because you don’t have as much time or energy
At least you had friends in the first place.
Find single friends
To be honest, I don't think anyone wants me, even if I tried.
Same brother😞
Same, i don't even want me
Same.
I know the feel
I know that all too well
I do feel jealous when I see others with friends and hanging out together, and i feel like im missing out on this, yet i continue to stay home and stay away from the outside world
I feel you, like I'm literally the same
Same.
So help me god I will drag you out of your house kicking and screaming to a dating bar or some shit like that and force you to interact with the other gender
I’m literally the same way. I’ll be your friend :)
I believe this video is relevant to what I was going through since January. I was in a long distance relationship with a woman I met online and things were going well until she wanted to breakup with me. Since then, I was so upset and angry as to why the relationship ended despite us not having any arguments. Also, most of my peers at my church are either getting married or starting families which made me feel left out since I was in relationship and I thought we could get married and have kids one day. I was jealous and bitter towards my peers and worst of all, I felt like God was telling me that he wanted me single for reason, but I was constantly reminded that's not true. Now, I'm still healing from pain I went through and I'm trying to focus on my career and my relationship with God before I meet someone new. Thank you for video.
Did you ever meet in person?
@asenat79 I was able to see her at a church conference months after the breakup, and I was able to get closure from it.
@@willmetcalf6746 I hope you feel better now. Blessings
I think the reason why I, personally, can’t find myself ever really “falling in love” or getting myself into a relationship anymore is because of how many dissatisfied & disappointing factors I’ve backtracked on in my endeavors dealing with relationships. I’ve only ever had two gfs, but even then they felt more like chores to deal with. I’ve had many, many crushes, but each of them always seem to slip away in one way or another. Hell, I’ve never even had my first kiss. Pathetic, I know.
It’s really gotten to a point where I’ve recently closed off that part of my life. For what’ll seem like a really long time too. It really does seem like a stretch for me to ever find myself in a relationship. It’s always been disappointment after disappointment, in the sense that I may never ever find “the one” or a committing relationship really.
I thank you, reader, for reading out what I had to say. May you be blessed with good ties, and eternal happiness.
Honestly same, I've gotten close to a relationship just once but then freaked out and I guess we both weren't there. Everyone's so surprised when I tell them these this and it really feels like there's something wrong with me. Plus intimacy issues and low self-esteem. Honestly don't know what to do.
Im on the same boat. I get alot of people asking if ive found someone and the answer stays the same. At one point my mom's friends were concvinced I was into the same gender because I hadn't had a gf. It's been long and depressing and it feels even worse when I see lots of my friends in a relationship already. I am genuinely a nice guy and I am a bit shy but I do try to push out my comfort zones.
I trully believe that there is something wrong with me. Most persons I meet just don't have at least close to similar life ideas and values. At some point I was thinking that I was just unlucky, meeting the wrong people. Now I think that it might be me that is in the wrong. I guess low self esteem, anxiety and depresion could be a part of the problem but I can't say for sure. I used to at least want to meet new persons now I just avoid humans at all costs. But the idea of "love" and "connection" is still there, I just ignore it as much as posible so it doesen't hurt as much.
@@oprisiosif2159 same, after I read the comments I feel a little better on having nothing to live towards, seeing that you're not alone in this makes it easier. Always figured that at some point I'll have at least some kind of idea what to do with my life, but it's not really gotten any better. I'm afraid to go to get professional help cuz what if there's nothing they can do. I might just be a lost cause
As someone who's never been romantically involved with another, I cannot say I feel your pain. However, I've never seen myself ending up with someone anyway so I understand your reservations for wanting to quit seeking out a good relationship. You may find that the best kind of love comes when you least expect and it might not be in the form of romance but it's still just as good. Sometimes its a good thing to take a break from loving one person too hard and to notice all the other forms of love that surround you. Keep that love in your heart and meet new people without looking for romance. Find a few good friends who will listen to your woes and maybe one day you'll find romance where you least expect it to be: nearby.
Whoever is narrating these has the most calming voice.
I love this persons voice.
Once i realized I'm neither attractive nor charming to most women and accepted it, i feel way better and less burdened. Love is not meant for everyone so there's no point in bothering about it.
I feel the same but as a woman who is conventionally attractive but not charming and antisocial asf it’s weird bc I attract men but they don’t stay and no one’s actually had feelings for me. It does really seem like romantic love isn’t for everyone
Same
I feel the same
Related
@@Luvvserena111bc an average woman is on nearly any man's radar as a potential mate, that includes short term ones. But the average man isn't even considered human by many women, that includes many average women.