Men Have Three Types of Orgasms - Whitney Cummings
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ก.ย. 2024
- In her special I Love You, Whitney Cummings shares her concerns about how often powerful men get distracted by sex and reveals the three types of orgasms men have. (Contains strong language.)
Subscribe to Comedy Central Stand-Up: / @standup
Watch more Comedy Central Stand-Up: / standup
Follow Comedy Central Stand-Up:
Twitter: / standup
Facebook: / standup
Instagram: / ccstandup
Watch full Comedy Central stand-up specials: www.cc.com/show...
#StandUp .
Comedy Central Stand-Up: Anti-Bias Statement: www.cc.com/inf...
Get more stand-up from Whitney Cummings here: th-cam.com/play/PLZAW5O34QidbuflXn7siSGS6sm2Gn8KK8.html
Pretty ironic her second name is Cummings
touche my friend touche 👍
Have you heard of a brand cider called Cummings
Her name is an orgasm
I'm proud of TH-cam. I had hoped this would be the first comment :)
Its spelled iconic 😂😂😂😂
5min. is exaggerated. We can focus for at least seven minutes.
Guys her age aren't thinking about sex that much
It’s more like every 30 mins tbh, and it’s only when the context fits
@@nuudlman9215 it's more like complete nonsense tbh
What research says men think about $#x every 5 min? These wierdos putting wrong facts even in comedy. Not only she did that, but tried to show as if its established fact.
@68’ Rumble Bee In that case an average person thinks about murdering someone every 10 minutes. Because a normal person never does, but a psychopat always does.
It's an idiotic "statistic".
Every 5 min? Never has a man thought about sex so infrequently.
My dick would fall off if I thought about sex that much. Like that’d be physically painful
Funnier than the whole clip lol
If women don't think about sex, why is it that the only thing women comedians talk about?
@@raitiC1 because women try to be like "one of the guys." Famously, when someone asked Patrice O'Neal if he laughed with his girl and laughed at her jokes, he was like "nah I laugh AT her. She tries to be cool and funny like I am but I just laugh at how goofy she is." Lmao.
Nathan Sanders That’s funny as hell lol
Say what you like, she's still funnier than Amy Schumer.
Not that that's saying much.
Cancer is funnier than Amy Schumer.
Tony Becker I know it was supposed to just be a point but the way I delivered it in my head was funnier than this video.
Thankfully I never paid to watch this act.
I like her more too
She has nice eyes.
For a moment I thought this was a TEDX talk.
Then for a moment you were a dumbass.
I click on the vídeo thinking that
@@limitation2955 There is one in every comment, it's ok I get where you're coming from.
Because you didn't laugh?
i clicked thinking it's a TED talk
Whitney guess what I was thinking about during your 5 minute skits
Giving her an orgasm
I was just thinking she was talking arse that wasn't funny for 5 minutes.
Someone funny?
@@hassanmuhammad2799 cuz it feels good duh
@@hassanmuhammad2799 You've been looking at the Wrong Pussy!
The really good bit starts at 6:23
Lmao!
Haha I actually started fast forwarding then saw I’ve been trolled
Oh that was great xD
Bahahhaha!! .. that was awesome
Lol. Thanks. I was looking for the good part
I went to a hooters once and immediately left the second i went inside the door; it smelled like a crowd of men who didnt wash were in there. Not a good time.
@Steve Hunt it's a good place .My mom takes us there all the time.
I see it more as a family restaurant
FlursFrost what?😂😅🤦♂️
They meant there were people in there who smelled terrible, not that they should wash in the place.
@@aubsdaebs9364 thanks captain obvious
She did that whole thing without having to say “My VaGiNa”
Are you intimidated by vaginas, Wilson?
@@Koreviking Maybe not, maybe he's just tired of female comedians talking about their vaginas. Male comedians on the other hand, never talk about their dicks.
I'm really just hoping it was a South Park reference.... th-cam.com/video/JlRHWGxGC6M/w-d-xo.html
Then again.... there are a SURPRISING amount of men that are just.... absolutely TERRIFIED of women and what's between their legs.... so.... it's kind of a toss up.
Shinzenbi
really now? cuse male comedians talk about sex and their dicks all day long. have you ever even watched a man do standup?
@@shadowboxing7029 yes they do.
A all male hooters would be called Peckers lol
Joe Monreal this comment needs way more love that was great sir
DOONNNGGGGGS.
an*
@@grei9785 A as in aye is also correct
@@joemonreal4494 nope not at all
reading the comment section made it easier to finish this video
Ha!!!! I read your comment at 3:31
4:01
george cochrane OMG I READ THAT AT 3:31 !!!!
Serjohn oil
Serjohn I with you bro I did the same thing haha
I actually laughed more at my grandpa's funeral last week
Yes I can relate.
As a woman with a black & vulgar humor myself I have to say this was just very sad to see... 😶👎🏼🤦🏻♀️
Lol. Wow.
This comment is funnier than the video on which this comment is posted
She makes so many generalisations, feminist I reckon. Crazy fuck
amy schumer is funnier than this. And she sucks
I laughed...
When I read the comments.
All i can say 2 that stand-up is:
'Wow'
John T haha
She ain’t even remotely funny😂😂
Tshepo Nkotwe crap one trick pony!
Same
I ain't got nothing against her, but goddamn this is the meh-est show i've seen in a while.
No it was all the time a woman faked with you ,to get u out of her vegigi.HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
she'd make for a good writer. it's her voice dude.
@@paulkim9828 i respect your opinion but i disagree. It's not just her voice. It's her whole attitude about it. It's the manner in which she says what she says that makes the writing seem off. Nevertheless, if the writing was good, it would help a lot.
Then again, we ain't click on no Dave Chapelle show so...
@@alexsavastru8125 I'll agree with you without arguments, she's just not that great to me.
@@Roflex21 i don't want people to fail, but when they do, it has to be pointed out why
She is hilarioussssssssss the last bit had me in literal tears😩😭 So sad to see there’s nothing but Bill burr fans in the comments bc this is true comedic gold.
richie rich it’s even stranger because bill burr and her are good friends and have great respect for each other but go figure 🤷♀️
McDong'alds
John Loyer underrated comment
funnier than the whole video
Maranos in spanish
Is that the audience laughing or a laugh track?
argaen21 considering the camera never pans, my money is on laugh track with someone else’s crowd pictures
@@topgurl9313 no one said that they were mad. They just asked a question.
Lani Jauregui-Hansen a few things, firstly I’ve seen her material in the past and have enjoyed it before, now this time not so much. Second she makes money off the exposer her specials get so her fan base can grow and more people can attend them, I’m apart of that. And lastly no one is mad when a women isn’t funny where I’m from, it’s just disappointing and we suffer through it like everyone else who doesn’t wanna share their opinions. Whether or not I enjoyed it is not the case, the orgin of the conversation was about the audience being fake or not and if the laughs were real. Now I know she’s big and famous, so already it’s not unlikely for her to pull off any act fake or not, but if I’m looking to set up the okay dialogue that I’d hear from time to time at working places, a well timed laugh response routine sounds like a solid avenue... but I could be wrong then this long comment was meaningless. But whatevs have a good one bud
@@kissther1ngs the simple fact is that we do not see the audience. In almost every live comedy routine you do see the audience. I think you're just reading too much into this because no one said she wasn't funny or said anything about getting mad.
Indigo RAINBOW maybe so. Other threads are pretty much just bashing her without constructive criticism.
Sometimes it's scary how well women know guys and sometimes it's even scarier how little women know guys. The latter is the case here
Is it weird that I didn't think about sex during this video?
Whitney: “It looks like a hamster stuck in a water balloon”
Me: *Lmao*
•PINEAPPLE HEAD• ok
please tell me this is sarcastic
Sure
Happy New Year
Never has a woman known less about men than Cummings
Yes, because stand up comedy has to be based on hard facts, right?
@@dpaul89 I mean, yea. Anyone can make stuff up, right?
@@dpaul89
I think someone don't get the joke
@@dpaul89 if your gonna do comedy then make sure your actually funny. I hate going into this subject but if a guy would have said anything about how women then he would've been bombarted by feminist
@@garyisgaming1224
Felt the same way.. Ditto
I think she's talking about the men she dated/dating.
I think she's doing a comedy bit.
@Chris L
Well, no chickenshit incel, anyway.
@@RetireandGo You'd be surprised.
Is the audience real?
Or laughs from nickelodeon ? Who knows
I was just thinking about that. Sounds like one of those early 2000 Nickelodeon crowd laughs
Everything is CGI these days.
all women probably and blonde
Omg this joke is better then any of hers
I think the restaurant she was talking about would be called peckers. 😂🤣
It's almost like she's doing an impression of a comedian, just not a good one.
Hahaha agreed
fuck yeah!
she is a comedian
Not funny n stupid jokes.
The comments are funnier than the video lmao
why is this getting dislikes? This was a decent performance. Guys getting soft over the "5 minute" joke she made up?
Nick Bertocchi or maybe because they feel like they wasted their time, as this type of comedy does not cater to them ( *coughs* or anybody *coughs* )
It's not funny because it's not true.
Oh guys, why are you crying? Don't be pussys, you're men after all, aren't you? (:
Drakoraz nah fam she just wasn’t funny
I love her..... She is so funny I'm literally crying from laughter at 2 am in the morning
1 Corinthians 13:6
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
🎉
You know it's not a good joke if you could dismantle it with, "Don't believe everything you read in Cosmo!"
That was really good, especially the shot in the back with an arrow. I dropped my bloody phone laughing.
What makes matters worse for her is that. She’s the same across all platforms of media. Other comedians do a good job of keeping their true beliefs pretty much hidden or at least they phrase them a lot better. But she legit talks about this on just about every interview/ podcast. Takes the shine off the routine. IMO
Painful but she's trying
trying hard
And failing...
She's funny. Her forwardness just bothers you lol
The whole act is painful to watch, it's not even funny.
Marc West her forwardness? Wtf? She’s being forward? Damn if you think she’s being forward then I feel bad for you cuz you don’t know about any comedians then
Pull my hair not the extensions!! 😂😂
An extremely apt surname to be discussing this topic.
Says men think about sex every 5 minutes, proceeds to talk about sex for 6 minutes.
For the whole standup actually every standup but she's funny.
Wow...this was like a bad accident, you want to stop watching but you cant.
AllAluminum halp
Can't turn away from the absolute 'crash and burn carnage' that is her routine!
Exactly how it felt 😂
Hahaha
Kind of like your birth.
I laughed when she said dont move. My girl was close once to orgasm once and i stopped because i thought she was in pain. She was not happy 😂
I feel for you man
Been there one too many times.
She should host The Tonight Show. She is very engaging and understandable. I enjoyed her sitcom and was very sad when it ended.
My impression of Whitney Cummings:
MEN ARE LIKE THIS AND WOMEN ARE LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is why I watch comedians like Bill Burr. At least he has jokes.
She’s beautiful
Simp
I came here just to read the comments.
@@AmetReloads Not a fan of hers ?
@
Drake Shattuck
you have a face like your comment :D
Drake Shattuck I commented whilst I came
Her jokes are funny but she isn't. Not sure how this can be lol. I was laughing at her jokes, cringing at the delivery and simultaneously wanted to punch her...and this is my first time ever hearing her. Idk if it's her voice, demeanor, or what.
@@YechanSong LMAO your comment has better delivery, humor, timing and content then this woman's stand up. Thank you! 😂
If you close your eyes, it's funny
@@ilakiya6350 liar. My ears are ringing and they hurt 😉
Yeah I thought the Same. I don't Know it seems like she means some of her jokes actually serious. Like a feminist that turned her radical opinions into a comedy script.
@@valentinschapp7873 I know what u mean. I love sarcasm (Iike David Spade) but the wrong tone can make you sound like an angry bitter feminist (which describes almost every female comic today)
I want these audience for my speech next week...i have some good stuff written but just incase 😅
whitney cummings: a
men: sHe'S nOt FunNY
She can be funny, but sex sets are whack imo
Dont be patronizing. Assuming cause shes a women essentially making fun of men that we dont think shes funny, Try not to choke on your condescending fake feminism.
It's not just men that thinks she's unfunny, and it's not because she's a women, it's because she's not funny.
MXNDNUMBING I believe male comedians joke about women just as much. For example, Andrew Shultz. It’s all subjective. I think women find humor in making fun of men, and men find humor in making fun of women.
I laughed at some parts of this video but I mean c’mon, the majority of us don’t think about sex every five minutes. It just doesn’t happen.
I like how she's trying to tell an audience probably full of men what men think about all day
Didn’t laugh am I a hater?
Tay ski No sir you a man with very good taste. And prefer a higher level of humor than this low brow crap.
No. To each their own. You'd be a hater if you'd said: "Fuck that bitch, she's not funny and if you think she's funny you're retarded".
I laughed out loud several times.
@@unclewazza777 just curious, what comedians do you enjoy?
@@noneofyourbusiness8252 Bill burr.Top of the list. Ralfie may,billy connelly,kevin hart. And always try to see if there are up and comers new to the Sean.
@@unclewazza777 so kevin hart isn't low brow?
A less repulsive Amy Schumer.
Did she hurt your feelings there snowflake
@@mailliw75 it was a compliment.
Less repulsive, but equally unfunny.
That ain't saying much.
@@mailliw75 She hurt my feelings... I came here in hopes that at least one woman "comedian" would be funny, but instead I got an earfull of the same chewed up garbage "humor" that every single other woman "comedian" has used before, albeit in different words but with more fits of psychotic rage! Now my feelings are hurt because I've wasted 6 mins, but at least I was taking a shit while listening to this shit... So I guess it worked out in the end... 😂😂😂
Am I the only dude who actually thinks she's hilarious?
RaiderNationAK nope
RaiderNationAK yes
Yes
Yes.
Simp
Solid set. Relatable. Actually enjoyed it! 😁
Comic timing is a gift she has yet to receive
She's horrible
I find her to be one of the funnier female comedians. I liked it. Her delivery is good, too.
Had me cracking up when she said "you were thinking about Afghan titties".
4:29 She has serious issues and she's publically humiliating herself, like all female standup comedians. TMI
bruh are you serious
@@erenyeagerannamsawy3498 The first half was good. Overall, I rescind my comment.
she killed it. her comedic timing and delivery is fire. whether or not i agree with what shes saying
Very unusual of a woman to use the subject of male genitalia and male sexual performance for comedy. She's a true original.
Wait, I thought women only joked about their own vaginas?
Did the TH-cam basement narrative change within the past two weeks?
Mike Teabag ["Very unusual of a woman to use the subject of male genitalia and male sexual performance for comedy..."] ...and she appears to have little or no idea about either. All I can say is she's been hanging around with some VERY strange men.
@@cyberdonblue4413 haha definitely. Especially the one who makes a puking sound during orgasm, who the hell was he?!
Cyberdon Blue or maybe it’s just a joke
This is so unfunny that I will probably have more emotion in my face when staring at a wall
@Adithya R thanks m8
Sober guy here. Does this get funny when you're high or drunk? Or something?
ZZZZZZZZZZ
Nope.
nope
I'm high and drunk and I am just using this opportunity to rub one out.
When ur alive.
You seem like the type whose life is better when you're not sober.
If a man isn't thinking about sex 24 hours a day, his mind is wandering. (That's a quote from my doctor.)
We need to fix the title. It should be-
"What women think of what men think."
See. Anything that has women in it sounds complicated. 😁
Good material, and really solid punchlines, but she REALLY needs to tighten up those setups, man. Nikki Glaser could get these same jokes setup in 5-7 seconds without asking the audience the tired "rhetorical question" premise like an amateur '80s comedian trying to pad 2 minutes into 5. If you have to spend 20 seconds prepping the context to the audience, your material loses momentum and impact.
Constructive criticism, nice 👍
@@TheAwesomePikachu I take comedy seriously, and I like my criticism to have a point.
Also, every joke being sexualized doesn't really help her case either...
Wow... You actually said you take comedy seriously... Lmao...
I feel like Nikki Glasser already has greater instincts for, and a stronger grasp on comedy than Whitney.
She is not laugh out loud funny but she is witty and has a good stage presence. Would love to see her try diverse material.
One of the best female comics and one of the best comedians. Bar none. Whitney Cummings is awesome obviously !!
Truely a person who speaks from experience and real life in her comedy skits and that's what makes her relatable! $he talks about Real s*** and it's funny as heck Lol always original material
The only funny thing about her is her last name.
She does have ah pornstars name.
and she did pornstar things to get to this point. IRONIC.
I laughed out loud several times, man.
she is hilarious and her last name has nothing to do with her career
If you're 14 maybe. Jesus
Whitney you are hilarious don’t ever quit standup👍👍
I love her! She's hilariously awesome!!!
1 Corinthians 13:6
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
Actually we take time out of our day to fantasize.
We also do I when we're bored.
She is awesomely funny! Right-on, Whitney!
These jokes are alright but she could do better
Derrick Thomas she is funny but she talks about men
Hilarious is way off bet to each his own
Not really. her other videos are not any better.
New record with Whitney, I made it through 25 seconds before I realized this shit won't be funny.
Dong's, where the waiters wear speedos or just a Chinese restaurant. Come on in, life's a gamble anyway.
If you can't laugh at the three orgasms joke, you can't laugh at your own orgasms. Shit was spot on.
This is cringy.
Why?
Its Demoralising men, plus her facts are fucked? I go days without thinking about sex! Someone needs to inform this bitch with a slap!
drumcorps0junkie cause it’s trash lbvs
I feel attacked
Whitney you are so gorgeous and you bring tears to my eyes!!! From uncontrollable laughter!!!
4:41 she said what I was thinking!! immmmpressive.....
where was the funny. i kept waiting for the funny.
You may be waiting a while.
"OmG wOmeN aReNt fUnNy"
Not sure why you'd bring up sex into the equation, but happy sexism 👍👍
L
Allen Watson , da funny? you talking bout da funny ? ask dice and Benji where da funny is?
...And then she starts crying!😂😂😂 LMAO!
Ive never had a straight face for so long
And you're gay
With a name like that I bet she is an expert.
Aren't these jokes... like... 2 decades old?
Don't you listen over and over to some music you love?
Akinyi Okeyo of course, but music triggers a different part of the brain than humor. That’s like saying jokes when you were a kid would still be funny as an adult - some might, but not all. Now back to music; a person may continue to listen to music they heard years ago, but they will eventually listen to that music less. It is just human nature to mature as well as become tired of hearing the same thing.
Waiting for this to get funny...
*reads the comments
There it is
I need to see more of her. She was funny
The jokes, are okay, but her delivery is just a bit dry. I'm just saying, Rita Rudner and Joan Rivers could run laps around her, to say nothing about Alex Borstein.
Oh, and Tiffany Haddish. I love Tiffany Haddish.
The best part of this video was the Russell Peters video that played after I skipped it...
My brain trying to figure out how much of this is real and how much is just made up: 📠📠📠
I watched this whole thing trying to be fair and open, I only broke from a blank face to a smirk when she started crying at the very end.
Exactly! Spot on! Omg. Whitney Cummings, you're brilliant.
Rubbish anyone can talk dirty and be funny it’s the easiest humour!
When your friend tells you a story they find funny, but instead of responding with laughter you say, "that's funny". That's basically Whitney Cummings.
I mean this stand up would be funny if we could relate to what she’s talking about. But i’m 10000% sure we don’t think about sex every 5 minutes. She just made up that fact so the female audience can laugh when it’s annoying to men to listen. She was meh but she would be good if she tried harder.
Actually, I heard that "fact" over 30 years ago so something tells me she's not the one who made it up.
I also heard that countless times in sex ed class, health, psychology, etc. Only the number of minutes changes slightly each time
Also not sure what's wrong with pleasing a female audience. Pretty sure she doesn't care if men can't relate, who cares 😂
I agree with u
If you thinking about sex every 5 min you need to take medication...because its a mental disorder.
For a women to have an orgasm you just have to wait on sex. Women are emotional and always in their heads. It’s a problem with society and hookup culture and jumping into sex. Some girls can do it, but most are always thinking ‘am I hot?’ ‘does this look good?’ Etc. - shit like that. That means you shouldn’t be having sex. If you actually wait and really get to know someone first, then have sex, it seems like the organisms come much easier as they seem more comfortable.
I figured I’d address that because the comedy aspect wasn’t doing it for me so much.
Peckers would be funnier name for the hooters joke...
at BitcoinJake09 and a gay gay version would be called Packers
@@TheIvasyl yeah I could see that. Cause no straight guy would work there. I know I wouldnt lol
Except that there is already a restaurant called Dicks
Awesome edit!
Proves that even they don’t know what they want. Quick to denounce what they don’t want!!!
I read the title without “Whitney” .. felt different tho
Was struggling to sleep till I played this video. Thanks.
Whitney your sense of humor is just outstanding. Your the Phyillis Diller of a new generation....in 6mins 23 secs. I was laughing instead of thinking about making love, such a great pause 1min 23secs above average statistically speaking....now I'm wondering what the 1:23 may represent. Over average?
I tried really hard...to laugh.
I guess the audience faked their laughter😅 😂😂
Ignorant comment. There is an entire psychology about invested attendance audiences compared to uninvested ones. Theyve paid money, chosen particular company to go with and made a deliberate choice to spend their time there so they WANT to have a good time and try to stay in good spirits. They may also feel social pressure to laugh and clap when others do. People watching on their computer only stand to lose time so they watch more neutrally and rate things more objectively. Also the attendance audience will mostly already be fans of her humour which isnt the case for most people watching on here.
Nothing really funny here but god those green eyes.
Drifting Dwarf stayed bc of em tbh
She does realize that hearing one or two article saying men think about sex every five minutes doesn’t mean that EVERY man does... what about asexuals?
DO NOT FUKIN ‘ MOVE. 😂😆🤣
Yes
She's amazing and i love it 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
The jokes are good. The in between come across as condescending and crude stereotyping.