Where does one draw the line so they don't venture into the lands of arrogance and obliviousness? For instance if everyone is treating you like you're invisible or like you're an asshole...I feel that you would be foolish not to reflect and address it"
@@sendnoodles5437 Well, we don't have to show others that we have internal validation. Plus, it's important that the internal validation is genuine. So writing down the best things that you did each day, instead of just mouthing that one is the greatest is much more impactful.
Thanks for this man, im at work and no matter what I keep being way too nice. But the reminder of not needing people to like me is a great relief and reminder.
i have read 73 pages for now of your book 'not nice'...till now it is just this self realization which is blocking my breadth ... I searched for you and while watching this video I started crying ...I always knew I had some prblm .. I could feel it when I am with others....I have read this much in 2 days...because I love reading and because for the first time I found someone like me who is telling me that yes it is a prblm....will read the rest of the book soon in the search of complete escape from this cage....
So true. What we’re looking for outside of ourselves, we already have within us. We ARE love, peace & power. We ARE that which we are seeking. These are the original qualities of the soul, thus no need to beg for love and approval from anyone! I like how you said, “All you need is available right now. It’s in you. It’s moving through you. All the love that you might want, is available, right now.” If we really understand that, we will be free.
In an interview, the actor who plays Darius in Atlanta says, why should he care what others think of him? Those thoughts are in THEIR heads, not his. I think that's awesome.
I really needed this! I've been doing healing work on myself with my issues with my dad. After watching this I realised I've been needing my dad to like me. He didn't like my boyfriends, my friends, my choice of career, my hair, omg it went on and on since I turned 13 and started having my own wants and needs. I thought I was seeking approval but after watching your video, I realise I've been needing my dad to just like me too! Wow you are so good. Thank you 🙏
I had same experience with my family I was looking for this approval in any situation in my life, but I'm completed with that. I want live life by my design
This is such a wake-up call. I've been needing other's approval for quite some time I didn't even realize it to the point I constantly stressing of what people think of me. Thank for the video!
This video was very good. Love the tone and understanding. 7:50 almost wanted me to start crying lol. Def need a ton of work on this. Very helpful channel.
I teared up listening to you, thank you for the understanding and compassion you offered. I feel the need for attention/care/love for someone physically exactly the way you described it.
It’s a lot of stress and work . Trying to control people’s feelings towards me . How to get everyone to like me . A Hugh stress release changing my thinking… I don’t need everyone to like me .
I have been struggling for a long time now with this and I have to say with all the books and videos I've watched your video has been the best-extremely enlightening. Thank you so much!!
This is beautiful advice. I felt so bad on my work for 25 years and you helped me to identify and connect my deep feelings of accumulated anger. Thank you.❤
Everything I do comes from this place needing others approval, even if they do I feel happy for a bit of time then become depressed and the needing come back, I cried when I watched the video thank u so much Aziz. 🙏🙏🙏
REMEMBER you are worthy! Your ideas are worthy. Your feelings are worthy. Your needs are worthy. And without everyone else’s constant validation, you must be who you are and live your truth. Even if it makes people turn their heads. Even if it means walking alone down the path less traveled for awhile. Even if your confidence in yourself has been shaken! The real battle is always in your mind. And your mind is under your control, not the other way around. You may have been broken down by adversity or rejection or stress, but YOU are not broken. So don’t let others convince you otherwise. And don’t let your mind get the best of you either. PEACE🕊
Its v tough feeling insecure and needing that Reinforcement from people-if anyone out there needs help i’m a good listener and have been to the depths but i’ve learnt It’s usually better to look back on life and say, “I can’t believe I did that,” than to look back and say, “I wish I did that.” In the end people will judge you in some way anyway. So don’t live your life trying to impress others. Instead live your life impressing yourself. Love yourself enough to never lower your standards for anyone.,you will never please everyone and if you do you’re prob doing something or not reaching for the greatness in you!!if •you’re looking for a happy ending and can’t seem to find one, maybe it’s time to start looking for a new beginning. Brush yourself off and accept that you have to fail from time to time - that’s how you learn.,grow find youThe strongest people out there - the ones with a genuine smile - are often the same people who have fought the toughest battles. They’re smiling because they’ve decided that they’re not going to let anything hold them down. They’re letting go and moving forward, one step at a time. •To be too focused for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too at peace to permit the presence of trouble. Peace
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt like shit and the world sends me people like you to help, I definitely have gone most of my life needing everyone else’s approval, I’m grateful for people like you Dr. Aziz Thank you 🙏
Your videos are always so soothing. I watch your videos when I feel a bit sad. I have been watching your video since a long time. Thank you so much Dr aziz
Thank you. I am always so anxious about particular people in my family. They always question my intentions and dont value my privacy. It hurts me bcz I always try to make them think "good" of me. During doing this, I felt a lot tightness in my chest, and felt super emotional. I feel a lot lighter now. Thank you.
despite my fear of flying, i would take an 18-hour flight from germany to have an hour of therapy with you. just an example to show how much I admire your work😋 thanks for everything!
Thank you for your trusted me! Great news is we can work together remotely. Reach out to me here to explore how we might do that if you like: www.socialconfidencecenter.com/about/contact/
Your videos are truly eye opening form me.....I am so glad I found your channel. I´ve been making myself suffer with all kinds of things and these videos have let me shift my perspective so much
This is truly groundbreaking, it's beautiful. It's amazing what peace and contentment you can find within yourself when you literally just give that part of you love and attention. Feel it to heal it rings so true. All we need is love, and we find it within so fully and completely, especially by loving all parts of ourselves by feeling what we feel; that is the attention we seek. Thank you, and thank you for all of your videos that have helped me tremendously ❤
This is so true. Thank you. I needed the whole Western Culture to accept me as a man and the the type of relationships with a woman that is compatible (to us both, whoever she might be). Instead of what the Culture wants, I am looking after me and how I view all this myself from my authentic heart: I break away from Cultural expectation. It all comes down to self-acceptance, and that is the hardest thing to do. It is, I think, 'brave' and it really hurts my heart, but I know that it's right for me and that I am not lying to myself and my self, and of course, I am not lying to her either. ❤
This is me. “I can’t think this way or fee this way “ until I know my partner feels this way about me or thinks this way. Always preocuppied on what he’s thinking or thinking of other women. Or I will be ok if he doesn’t notice that women walking. Thank you.
Dude why are you so good looking. I can't focus 🥲 plus I have BPD and probably also ADHD... hard to concentrate anyway. But the parts I heard were good 😄
That was a huge prospective thanks for sharing …can you please tell something about how to let go the need of love from other people ? Just like the need of approval?
I don't feel it more muscle tension but I feel like into a electric field and electric made out of all bad feelings , like this bubble of plastic occupies me and it feels with air of negative toxic feelings
Sir i am struggling with bad eye contact I can't talk with friends and family members and iam very alone please tell me how to over come it and can i come out of these situation of bad eye contact
This is going to sound counterintuitive but... you don't slay the dragon by pretending it doesn't exist. You have to confront it first. In social situations when you're feeling nervous looking away will only make the anxiety worse. You have to focus on making eye contact. Shift the spotlight from being on you to being on the other person as well.
This is false. We need love from another in order to record it in us and source it even later on. This, on a brain functioning level. On a practical level, we need approval from people above us in life (career) because the job market massively revolves about the ego of the people at the top, and how we make them feel. Very little is meritocracy or hard work. Most is manipulative abilities, as the ones in charge to make decisions get lazy about their responsibilities, and choose upon personal feelings.
The more internal validation that we have, the less external validation that we need.
Where does one draw the line so they don't venture into the lands of arrogance and obliviousness? For instance if everyone is treating you like you're invisible or like you're an asshole...I feel that you would be foolish not to reflect and address it"
@@sendnoodles5437 Well, we don't have to show others that we have internal validation. Plus, it's important that the internal validation is genuine. So writing down the best things that you did each day, instead of just mouthing that one is the greatest is much more impactful.
Truth!
Thanks for this man, im at work and no matter what I keep being way too nice. But the reminder of not needing people to like me is a great relief and reminder.
Awesome! And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
I go and annoy them until i get what i deserve.
Because the best exemplary behavior didn't cut it so what will.
Hugely emotionally intelligent stuff, my man.
Glad you're finding it useful!
i have read 73 pages for now of your book 'not nice'...till now it is just this self realization which is blocking my breadth ... I searched for you and while watching this video I started crying ...I always knew I had some prblm .. I could feel it when I am with others....I have read this much in 2 days...because I love reading and because for the first time I found someone like me who is telling me that yes it is a prblm....will read the rest of the book soon in the search of complete escape from this cage....
“ I need something from you in order to feel ok”
Well, you can have this video. :-)
So true. What we’re looking for outside of ourselves, we already have within us. We ARE love, peace & power. We ARE that which we are seeking. These are the original qualities of the soul, thus no need to beg for love and approval from anyone! I like how you said, “All you need is available right now. It’s in you. It’s moving through you. All the love that you might want, is available, right now.” If we really understand that, we will be free.
#Truth
a
Amen, friend! ♥️😘😊😻💯🥳🌻👣🦋🥀🧘♀️💃🥳😻🪺
In an interview, the actor who plays Darius in Atlanta says, why should he care what others think of him? Those thoughts are in THEIR heads, not his. I think that's awesome.
I really needed this! I've been doing healing work on myself with my issues with my dad. After watching this I realised I've been needing my dad to like me. He didn't like my boyfriends, my friends, my choice of career, my hair, omg it went on and on since I turned 13 and started having my own wants and needs.
I thought I was seeking approval but after watching your video, I realise I've been needing my dad to just like me too!
Wow you are so good. Thank you 🙏
I'm so glad you found me Nicky!
I had same experience with my family I was looking for this approval in any situation in my life, but I'm completed with that. I want live life by my design
The algorithm brought me to this 2 y/o video after I watched your latest one. Happy to say I struggle much less with this now. Thank you 😊
This will video will be VERY helpful when i feel the stress storm of, “needing” approval at work. Thank you so much.
That's awesome Marie!
This is such a wake-up call. I've been needing other's approval for quite some time I didn't even realize it to the point I constantly stressing of what people think of me. Thank for the video!
Whatever your avatar is, it's beautiful (Philippine eagle??)
(Spot on comment too!)
Your book ‘Not Nice’ that i read and studied 2 years ago helped change everything. Keep making your videos.
Awesome!
You’re so important to my mental health you don’t even know
I'm so grateful that I've been able to help you in some small way.
This video was very good. Love the tone and understanding. 7:50 almost wanted me to start crying lol. Def need a ton of work on this. Very helpful channel.
I teared up listening to you, thank you for the understanding and compassion you offered. I feel the need for attention/care/love for someone physically exactly the way you described it.
It’s a lot of stress and work . Trying to control people’s feelings towards me . How to get everyone to like me . A Hugh stress release changing my thinking… I don’t need everyone to like me .
I have been struggling for a long time now with this and I have to say with all the books and videos I've watched your video has been the best-extremely enlightening. Thank you so much!!
This is beautiful advice. I felt so bad on my work for 25 years and you helped me to identify and connect my deep feelings of accumulated anger.
Thank you.❤
Everything I do comes from this place needing others approval, even if they do I feel happy for a bit of time then become depressed and the needing come back, I cried when I watched the video thank u so much Aziz. 🙏🙏🙏
I'm glad you found it helpful. I wrote an entire book it dedicated to this topic. Here's where you can check it out: www.NotNiceBook.com
REMEMBER you are worthy! Your ideas are worthy. Your feelings are worthy. Your needs are worthy. And without everyone else’s constant validation, you must be who you are and live your truth. Even if it makes people turn their heads. Even if it means walking alone down the path less traveled for awhile.
Even if your confidence in yourself has been shaken!
The real battle is always in your mind. And your mind is under your control, not the other way around.
You may have been broken down by adversity or rejection or stress, but YOU are not broken. So don’t let others convince you otherwise. And don’t let your mind get the best of you either.
PEACE🕊
Its v tough feeling insecure and needing that Reinforcement from people-if anyone out there needs help i’m a good listener and have been to the depths but i’ve learnt It’s usually better to look back on life and say, “I can’t believe I did that,” than to look back and say, “I wish I did that.” In the end people will judge you in some way anyway. So don’t live your life trying to impress others. Instead live your life impressing yourself. Love yourself enough to never lower your standards for anyone.,you will never please everyone and if you do you’re prob doing something or not reaching for the greatness in you!!if
•you’re looking for a happy ending and can’t seem to find one, maybe it’s time to start looking for a new beginning. Brush yourself off and accept that you have to fail from time to time - that’s how you learn.,grow find youThe strongest people out there - the ones with a genuine smile - are often the same people who have fought the toughest battles. They’re smiling because they’ve decided that they’re not going to let anything hold them down. They’re letting go and moving forward, one step at a time.
•To be too focused for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too at peace to permit the presence of trouble.
Peace
i need nothing, to feel okay/good ...... i am complate myself,
i just want to grow with good/best/empathetic people, to share each other completeness
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt like shit and the world sends me people like you to help, I definitely have gone most of my life needing everyone else’s approval, I’m grateful for people like you Dr. Aziz Thank you 🙏
Thank you, I'm so glad to have you here!
Thank u very much u saved my life
Your videos are always so soothing.
I watch your videos when I feel a bit sad. I have been watching your video since a long time. Thank you so much Dr aziz
You're so very welcome!
Gratitude!
I really needed this maybe even more than you needed to tell me. Thank you so much
Glad it was helpful!
Hi Aziz,
I have gained so much personally and evolved my mindset after listening to you.
Thank you and Bless you. Keep up the great work!
Thank you, I will!
Thank you. I am always so anxious about particular people in my family. They always question my intentions and dont value my privacy. It hurts me bcz I always try to make them think "good" of me. During doing this, I felt a lot tightness in my chest, and felt super emotional. I feel a lot lighter now. Thank you.
you are giving the answers to my problem.Thank you
This is a really incredible exercise. Thank you so much. This makes a difference ❤
A classic example is at our jobs & how can we make this work their without the risk of losing your career / job in the long-run
despite my fear of flying, i would take an 18-hour flight from germany to have an hour of therapy with you. just an example to show how much I admire your work😋 thanks for everything!
Thank you for your trusted me! Great news is we can work together remotely. Reach out to me here to explore how we might do that if you like: www.socialconfidencecenter.com/about/contact/
Your videos are truly eye opening form me.....I am so glad I found your channel. I´ve been making myself suffer with all kinds of things and these videos have let me shift my perspective so much
Thank you for another great video. I have always had this fear of not fitting in.
I's so glad you liked it!
Another great video as usual from Dr.Aziz
Thank you!
This video made me take an action after months of suffering.. I feel OK now , I missed that. Thank you
AWESOME!
Resonated with that truly.
Awesome!
This is true. My biggest downfall in life was seeking external validation.
I needed this today. Thank you!
This is truly groundbreaking, it's beautiful. It's amazing what peace and contentment you can find within yourself when you literally just give that part of you love and attention. Feel it to heal it rings so true. All we need is love, and we find it within so fully and completely, especially by loving all parts of ourselves by feeling what we feel; that is the attention we seek. Thank you, and thank you for all of your videos that have helped me tremendously ❤
Thank you
You're very welcome!
Thanks doc. I like that you give some space and time to think.
'The kingdom of God is within you'. Luke 17
Highly motivated 🐱
That just made me cry
Fantastic free content as always Dr Aziz. I also highly recommend his book Not Nice it changed my life.
Thank you so much for the recommendation!
Holy eye opening talk. I could dwell within myself for everything I need.
#Truth
Thank you so much, that process really works.
You're welcome!
Great video! I really enjoy your videos and books. Helped me a lot! Ironicly this video has no dissaprovel so far 😁
Glad you like them!
VERY GOOD VIDEO.THANKYOU.
Thank you so much!
Thanks man for this video, I need this to not any approval for anyone not even my parents mostly my dad.
Thank you 🙏🏽✌🏽.
You're very welcome!
Ur amazing aziz Mashallah 🤩
Thank you!
Awesome video I will be a subscriber
Welcome Christopher!
This is so true. Thank you. I needed the whole Western Culture to accept me as a man and the the type of relationships with a woman that is compatible (to us both, whoever she might be).
Instead of what the Culture wants, I am looking after me and how I view all this myself from my authentic heart: I break away from Cultural expectation.
It all comes down to self-acceptance, and that is the hardest thing to do.
It is, I think, 'brave' and it really hurts my heart, but I know that it's right for me and that I am not lying to myself and my self, and of course, I am not lying to her either.
❤
Dr Aziz is the man !!
Malik is awesome!
This is such a great video.
This helped me so much
This is me. “I can’t think this way or fee this way “ until I know my partner feels this way about me or thinks this way. Always preocuppied on what he’s thinking or thinking of other women. Or I will be ok if he doesn’t notice that women walking. Thank you.
Awesome!
Yes, I'm stuck in that cycle. But I'm trying to heal
Thank you, Dr. Aziz! These videos are changing my life.
Happy to hear that!
I can feel great no matter what that person think of me.
Absolutely!
same here ... no matter wht people say or do,
i will feel always what i want ! ....... not what they want to manipulate my emotions
Dude why are you so good looking. I can't focus 🥲 plus I have BPD and probably also ADHD... hard to concentrate anyway. But the parts I heard were good 😄
Great vid! I was wondering if you could make one on relationship ocd?
You bet!
That was a huge prospective thanks for sharing …can you please tell something about how to let go the need of love from other people ? Just like the need of approval?
So good!
Thank you!
Thank you for this 🥰
You're very welcome Sarah!
I need Aziz's approval 😊
Too late, you already have it!
🥰 Thank you
You're very welcome!
Hey whats the link you are referring to at 9:19?
Nvm found it
Glad you found it
saw this video at a low point. I 100% agree but it's not easy to operationalize what you say.
I love your videos and your books! thanks a lot! This program is different than Confidence University?
If some of what's included in Confidence University.
Please make a video on how to deal with health anxiety
I don't feel it more muscle tension but I feel like into a electric field and electric made out of all bad feelings , like this bubble of plastic occupies me and it feels with air of negative toxic feelings
That's a good description.
I want to join the program I don't feel like I know myself
See my response to your other post.
Needing approval has physical sensations attached? Like what the hell is this beast.
there is no fkin approval I need anymore so Im posting this comment and idfk who likes it or nah!
Are approval and consultation different?
Sir i am struggling with bad eye contact I can't talk with friends and family members and iam very alone please tell me how to over come it and can i come out of these situation of bad eye contact
This is going to sound counterintuitive but... you don't slay the dragon by pretending it doesn't exist. You have to confront it first. In social situations when you're feeling nervous looking away will only make the anxiety worse. You have to focus on making eye contact. Shift the spotlight from being on you to being on the other person as well.
I made a video on that very topic: th-cam.com/video/KD2XAfsvEIw/w-d-xo.html
What's fascinating is that we will often seek the approval of those whom we wouldn't even want to imitate and don't even particularly like or respect.
I know, weird right?!
I’ve learned the only persons approval I need is my wife’s
Only my wife and she does
Sir can we practice this daily?
Of course!
Ngl a good 20% of me watches your videos for the eye candy
LOL Thanks!
Great Advice. Great walk through. Could be bad advice in the wrong hands. LOL (Putin)
Dr Aziz do you think we could do a TH-cam video together?
How so?
❤️🙏🙌
Thank you
❤️
Thank you!
❤
This is false. We need love from another in order to record it in us and source it even later on.
This, on a brain functioning level.
On a practical level, we need approval from people above us in life (career) because the job market massively revolves about the ego of the people at the top, and how we make them feel. Very little is meritocracy or hard work. Most is manipulative abilities, as the ones in charge to make decisions get lazy about their responsibilities, and choose upon personal feelings.