literally looked up "how to not feel bad for standing up for yourself" here on youtube cuz im having a real hard time. somethings that my boyfriend does has been on my mind alot recently and been bothering me, so I confronted him about it, but now I feel bad for speaking up. I explained to him how I felt uncomfortable with something, and he said even though he didnt understand why or how, he was still willing to listen. So now im in this weird bubble where I feel really bad and genuinly feel like the bad guy here, and I want to apologize to him, but for what? "I'm sorry for speaking up for myself and telling you how I feel?" like no that doesnt make any sense. So at the moment its taking every ounce in me to NOT text him and apologize. omg
This helped me thank you. Ive been in a job which I'm trying to get out of. My boss has for months walked all over me. Constantly adding to my workload , expecting me to work all day without a break, complains all the time . I had go ask for a payrise to be paid the minimum wage. I left crying last week die to the way she talked to me. She is a bully. Today She was being nice asking if I had a nice in a text. I ignored that part and only responded go what she asked me to do workwise. Nor did I ask her questions. It's not like me but i had enough. I told her I was leaving early as im self employed. I didn't even read her response. Now I feel anxious to look at my messages and feel so guilty.i feel guilt for treating her the way she always treats me. Ironic. How do i cope with this? @GetMoreConfidence
I learned it the hard way. When you stood up for yourself regardless whatever it the right way or the wrong way. Never apologize, specially you know you are in the right, because once you apologized, the person will lose respect towards you, they know you dont have the back bone to stand your ground.
Thank you this helped me , for a long time I allowed my family to walk all over me verbally abuse me at anytime they felt like it . Today was the first time i confronted a family member and I had severe anxiety to the point that I wanted to cry but just this video alone helped me feel confident in what I said .
This video comes at a right time, having difficulty in my relationship, having a hard time really breaking up (I have an Avoidant Personality Disorder) because of guilt, really hard to rip the band-aid off. She really knows how to play the victim and how she is hurt.
Man, thank you so much. I was trying to figure out why going my own way separate from my parents felt so bad, but now I can clearly see that I broke my rule of always being my parents' poster child. I was praised for my obedience so early on, that now I still have that fear of not being their perfect image. Just being able to see that has made standing up for myself feel so much more refreshing and rejuvenating. Because of this video I can free myself of stress, and from the grasp of toxic expectations. Thank you 🙏
I'm a contractor and I have consistently let myself get pushed around. The second I stop doing that, I tend to over correct a bit, but really, this is how it has to be. I can't let people take advantage of my kindness anymore.
I think the rule I'm breaking is "Anything I get is taken away from others, and they should always be the priority so my needs don't matter"... Yes, I'm a middle child lol
I had just stood up for myself, I was just direct and respectful. Inwardly, I felt like I had committed a grave sin or crime, and my heart had become bathed in ice water and the pain in my chest deep, and powerful. Listening carefully to this helped me relieve that extraordinarily potent emotional response I get which I refer to, personally, as "guilt anxiety". It was because my action, temporarily, made an inconvenience for a family member who I care about and I immediately wanted to cancel myself for that and go along with what I just said "no" to. However, I held firm and after giving myself permission, I felt the feeling dissipate.
Dr Aziz the man with the plan he understands we gotta love one another sister and brother stand up and speak even if you feel weak it’s okay to be afraid look inside your body & mind the answers are there we’re all scared he speaks the truth keep ur head up you won’t lose believe in yourself and choose to push through because guess what? We believe in you 🙏🏽🙏🏽
How did you read my mind! ❤ thank you for this I’m raising a greviance with manager now I just started my maternity leave after he almost got me to resign just before my maternity started and I feel so bad! But he has been picking on me since I started a year ago so I don’t know why I am feeling so bad!
thank you for this video, my posture changed while I watched because I had an incident at work where I stood up for myself not to be spoken to rudely by a coworker who got upset and couldn't stay on track. I didn't feel bad afterwards but did the next day since another coworker asked her what happened and she told her and they began to gossip after I thought we settled it. the other girl made a comment that irritated me and I've been thinking about it ever since.
I was just on that situation. The rule I broke was "I shouldn't hurt others". But I thought "I'm not responsible for other people's feelings". And also "this situation is just practice". 😍 I can't recommend enough your book Not Nice. 👑
I’ve been trying to work on this. I feel guilty after sticking up for myself because I’m like ok maybe I shouldn’t have said that or now I’ve started drama with people or they are going hate me or think this & that about me they think im crazy etc etc the list goes on and idk how to start working on this.
A few days ago my best friend for the past 12 years (i am 28) talked to me about things she was not liking in my behavior for the past few months. I did the right thing, listened to her, understand her pov and even had a deal where i was going to do better. After that, it was "my turn" and i said some things that were also bothering me and she was like "now you're just looking for trouble" and didn't spoken to me since. I felt bad, and i am feeling bad, that's why i am here, but i am starting to realize i did the right thing.
Whenever I stand up for myself I feel worried something bad will happen to me. I just had to report my building today because the landlord won’t fix hazards in the building. SubhanAllah my OCD tells me something bad will happen now but I know that’s just my illness.
Guilt is probably my biggest one. But what if people aren't used to me being direct since I'm always nice? Will they therefore mistake me for having a rough day lol?
Not if you use an assertive tone of voice without being aggressive. As Dr Aziz says, each situation is practice, not only for you but for those who listen. They'll get use to. 😁
doesn't matter, look the point here is to start something. self care is giving to yourself, standing up for yourself and a lot more. the point is to do it for yourself and when you do it like that it won't matter what others think because you matter just as much as them, for me i kinda matter more than them a lot of the times.
Hi I have a question if 14 year old throw 6bricks inside my house and i confronted his father.his father attacked me physically. I also give him some hands.4-5 people stopped us. I wanted to file police complaint but he was 14 , so i know nothing gonna happend to him. But the problem is i am feeling guilty for fighting for myself. Do you know how to overcome this problem?
I called out my bosses on a bs position where they will reduce my pay to work more. They are gonna give me another chance, but I'm not accepting it. I can't take that shit. Bytw, it's a new job. Im just on call atm, but my co-workers like me. But after that drama, everyone's mood changed like I'm a criminal for standing up. That's some bs, and I will never apologize if it's something like this The guilt is eating me because of the current dynamic, but hell no! I value myself, and I'm disabled and they know damn well I'll sue the company for discrimination and abuse of disabled people
This was badly needed. Last night I tore a massive hole in a long term friend who is a functional drug-addict, if that's a real term. Felt fantastic to call out his bs assumptions about mine and others lives and most importantly his destructive habit with coca ee-neh that goes all the way back to high school. This morning and all day I've felt irritable and angry until I realized it was some form of guilt. Well, that's starting to dissolve now b/c of this video. Guess I have a new rule and that's it's perfectly fine and within my right to tell someone to go to hell if they're attacking me and pushing my boundaries. IMO I think in some cases it's necessary to get rude and mean to penetrate deeply into the offending party's psyche so they stop dead in the tracks and stfu.
Dr, what do you recommend one do if he feels like he failed, he knows intellectually that he didn't but he just tries to reclaim power, when he tries but the critic isn't bulging at all and it even feels worse after standing up to him. Would you recommend that I try self-compassion? Or just persist to regain power again?
Called out a friend cause he was choosing a girl who rejected him over me and my friends. I think because I opened my mouth I ended a 4 year friendship
Ur doing an absolutely incredible job sir... Can't thank u enough but just one thing... I respect you a lot but i have a crush on you coz ure soooooo good looking
literally looked up "how to not feel bad for standing up for yourself" here on youtube cuz im having a real hard time. somethings that my boyfriend does has been on my mind alot recently and been bothering me, so I confronted him about it, but now I feel bad for speaking up. I explained to him how I felt uncomfortable with something, and he said even though he didnt understand why or how, he was still willing to listen. So now im in this weird bubble where I feel really bad and genuinly feel like the bad guy here, and I want to apologize to him, but for what? "I'm sorry for speaking up for myself and telling you how I feel?" like no that doesnt make any sense. So at the moment its taking every ounce in me to NOT text him and apologize. omg
You have nothing to apologize for. It seems like he was very open to hearing what you had to say.
This helped me thank you. Ive been in a job which I'm trying to get out of. My boss has for months walked all over me. Constantly adding to my workload , expecting me to work all day without a break, complains all the time . I had go ask for a payrise to be paid the minimum wage. I left crying last week die to the way she talked to me. She is a bully. Today She was being nice asking if I had a nice in a text. I ignored that part and only responded go what she asked me to do workwise. Nor did I ask her questions. It's not like me but i had enough. I told her I was leaving early as im self employed. I didn't even read her response. Now I feel anxious to look at my messages and feel so guilty.i feel guilt for treating her the way she always treats me. Ironic. How do i cope with this?
@GetMoreConfidence
I learned it the hard way. When you stood up for yourself regardless whatever it the right way or the wrong way. Never apologize, specially you know you are in the right, because once you apologized, the person will lose respect towards you, they know you dont have the back bone to stand your ground.
yes i feel this while standing up for myself in front of toxic clients
Thank you this helped me , for a long time I allowed my family to walk all over me verbally abuse me at anytime they felt like it . Today was the first time i confronted a family member and I had severe anxiety to the point that I wanted to cry but just this video alone helped me feel confident in what I said .
This video comes at a right time, having difficulty in my relationship, having a hard time really breaking up (I have an Avoidant Personality Disorder) because of guilt, really hard to rip the band-aid off.
She really knows how to play the victim and how she is hurt.
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Better times are ahead.
Man, thank you so much. I was trying to figure out why going my own way separate from my parents felt so bad, but now I can clearly see that I broke my rule of always being my parents' poster child. I was praised for my obedience so early on, that now I still have that fear of not being their perfect image. Just being able to see that has made standing up for myself feel so much more refreshing and rejuvenating.
Because of this video I can free myself of stress, and from the grasp of toxic expectations. Thank you 🙏
I'm a contractor and I have consistently let myself get pushed around. The second I stop doing that, I tend to over correct a bit, but really, this is how it has to be. I can't let people take advantage of my kindness anymore.
I think the rule I'm breaking is "Anything I get is taken away from others, and they should always be the priority so my needs don't matter"... Yes, I'm a middle child lol
Can't agree more
I had just stood up for myself, I was just direct and respectful. Inwardly, I felt like I had committed a grave sin or crime, and my heart had become bathed in ice water and the pain in my chest deep, and powerful. Listening carefully to this helped me relieve that extraordinarily potent emotional response I get which I refer to, personally, as "guilt anxiety". It was because my action, temporarily, made an inconvenience for a family member who I care about and I immediately wanted to cancel myself for that and go along with what I just said "no" to. However, I held firm and after giving myself permission, I felt the feeling dissipate.
Dr Aziz the man with the plan he understands we gotta love one another sister and brother stand up and speak even if you feel weak it’s okay to be afraid look inside your body & mind the answers are there we’re all scared he speaks the truth keep ur head up you won’t lose believe in yourself and choose to push through because guess what? We believe in you 🙏🏽🙏🏽
#PREACH
How did you read my mind! ❤ thank you for this I’m raising a greviance with manager now I just started my maternity leave after he almost got me to resign just before my maternity started and I feel so bad! But he has been picking on me since I started a year ago so I don’t know why I am feeling so bad!
thank you for this video, my posture changed while I watched because I had an incident at work where I stood up for myself not to be spoken to rudely by a coworker who got upset and couldn't stay on track. I didn't feel bad afterwards but did the next day since another coworker asked her what happened and she told her and they began to gossip after I thought we settled it. the other girl made a comment that irritated me and I've been thinking about it ever since.
Thank I stood up to someone that took advantage of my niceness and they did a 100 times worse. I am going to rewatch this video when I feel bad.
Im in a situation similar to this. I'm having to stand up for myself.
I was just on that situation. The rule I broke was "I shouldn't hurt others". But I thought "I'm not responsible for other people's feelings". And also "this situation is just practice". 😍
I can't recommend enough your book Not Nice. 👑
Thank you!
I’ve been trying to work on this. I feel guilty after sticking up for myself because I’m like ok maybe I shouldn’t have said that or now I’ve started drama with people or they are going hate me or think this & that about me they think im crazy etc etc the list goes on and idk how to start working on this.
A few days ago my best friend for the past 12 years (i am 28) talked to me about things she was not liking in my behavior for the past few months. I did the right thing, listened to her, understand her pov and even had a deal where i was going to do better. After that, it was "my turn" and i said some things that were also bothering me and she was like "now you're just looking for trouble" and didn't spoken to me since. I felt bad, and i am feeling bad, that's why i am here, but i am starting to realize i did the right thing.
U did the right thing bro 👏
I can definitely relate! Thank you for sharing..💯
Thank you Dr Aziz. This really helped me with some serious negative thinking.
This is such a powerful tool. It works a treat for embarrassment too.
Awesome!
My rule was not to shout at somebody but bro it feels good in the f moment!!Then I feel bad
Hallelujah hallelujah is the highest I praise 3 I
Your videos are my boosters thanks alot❤️
Happy to hear that!
thanks for sharing this!!!!
Usually the feeling is more background and insidious. I don't get the extremes but somehow that makes it harder to notice I'm doing it.
Gotta love this guy.. thanks man
Whenever I stand up for myself I feel worried something bad will happen to me. I just had to report my building today because the landlord won’t fix hazards in the building. SubhanAllah my OCD tells me something bad will happen now but I know that’s just my illness.
problem solved thank you a lot Dr Aziz
Guilt is probably my biggest one.
But what if people aren't used to me being direct since I'm always nice? Will they therefore mistake me for having a rough day lol?
Not if you use an assertive tone of voice without being aggressive. As Dr Aziz says, each situation is practice, not only for you but for those who listen. They'll get use to. 😁
@@miriamllamas224 very true!
doesn't matter, look the point here is to start something. self care is giving to yourself, standing up for yourself and a lot more. the point is to do it for yourself and when you do it like that it won't matter what others think because you matter just as much as them, for me i kinda matter more than them a lot of the times.
@@marwanmohamed2500 thanks that's also true
I think everyone pretty much covered this. :)
Life can be better than now❤
Wow
This is powerful way.
Right?!
Yes. Lots of love for dr Aziz, who taught me how to live my life.
This camera is amazing … okay back to watching
Love your videos man, keep them up please and could u make more videos on omos if theres anything u havent covered
Sure thing!
Great videos. Keep it coming.
Thanks, will do!
Thank you so much x
You are so welcome!
I stood up for myself against bullying at work. Company fired me.
Hey I’m doing the same thing but it’s my manager. Who cares jobs are a dime a dozen and your integrity matters more
So true...but Its like Im getting punnished to much from All sides left in Shane and true fear
Hi I have a question if 14 year old throw 6bricks inside my house and i confronted his father.his father attacked me physically. I also give him some hands.4-5 people stopped us. I wanted to file police complaint but he was 14 , so i know nothing gonna happend to him. But the problem is i am feeling guilty for fighting for myself. Do you know how to overcome this problem?
Thank you
You're welcome.
Excited for the upcoming courses,what is its price and when it's coming
Watch my channel for these updates coming shortly!
I called out my bosses on a bs position where they will reduce my pay to work more. They are gonna give me another chance, but I'm not accepting it. I can't take that shit. Bytw, it's a new job. Im just on call atm, but my co-workers like me. But after that drama, everyone's mood changed like I'm a criminal for standing up.
That's some bs, and I will never apologize if it's something like this
The guilt is eating me because of the current dynamic, but hell no!
I value myself, and I'm disabled and they know damn well I'll sue the company for discrimination and abuse of disabled people
I was actually trying to find a video on how to deal with guilt of not standing up for yourself opposite side of the spectrum
This was badly needed. Last night I tore a massive hole in a long term friend who is a functional drug-addict, if that's a real term. Felt fantastic to call out his bs assumptions about mine and others lives and most importantly his destructive habit with coca ee-neh that goes all the way back to high school. This morning and all day I've felt irritable and angry until I realized it was some form of guilt. Well, that's starting to dissolve now b/c of this video. Guess I have a new rule and that's it's perfectly fine and within my right to tell someone to go to hell if they're attacking me and pushing my boundaries. IMO I think in some cases it's necessary to get rude and mean to penetrate deeply into the offending party's psyche so they stop dead in the tracks and stfu.
Dr, what do you recommend one do if he feels like he failed, he knows intellectually that he didn't but he just tries to reclaim power, when he tries but the critic isn't bulging at all and it even feels worse after standing up to him. Would you recommend that I try self-compassion? Or just persist to regain power again?
Be self-compassionate and keep moving forward.
What if that person funds your organization? And speaking up makes you lose opportunity?
I love you
Man I struggle with guilt. I avoid conflict because of it.
Also is that dope plant behind you? 😂
LOL no it's a Japanese maple
@@GetMoreConfidence ah yes now I see 😂😉
Called out a friend cause he was choosing a girl who rejected him over me and my friends. I think because I opened my mouth I ended a 4 year friendship
Ur doing an absolutely incredible job sir... Can't thank u enough but just one thing... I respect you a lot but i have a crush on you coz ure soooooo good looking
Thank you