You're welcome. Take heart, there's a balance that includes kindness. :) Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice: th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: cli.re/books
Have always been a nice person. Always felt spineless, never having my own voice in front of people. Mostly because of whether people judged me or whether I hurt their feelings. I now feel ready to change into a more powerful individual who matters in this world. Thanks Dr Aziz. Never stop uploading your vids!
Just wanna let you know that your road to selfcare and respect, doesn't have to remove kindness. If your a true empathic person, keep that to your core. You just need to protect it by not bending over backwards hurting yourself. It's the lack of confidence that makes kindness pesky to navigate. But if you can turn up stabil, confident and kind you'll have super powers to help people, inspire and sail trough life while having narcissistic people shaking by there knees 😄 They won't tell you, but the truly selfish and spiteful people will be envious! Cause they simply don't know how. Protect your light with love for yourself, but don't kill it and lose the faith in loving others!
That's the first step! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Amazing video, this is really what's all about. Being nice won't get you far in life, people will walk over you. You need to set boundaries. Few more points about being too nice and when you decide to stop being nice: - Be prepared to upset other people sometimes - Don't put yourself always last - Have you own point of view without waiting what other people think - Don't always say yes to everything - Never be pushed around or taken advantage of - When you need to ''hiss'', ''hiss''
I'll share with you what I've shared with a few others here in the comments. You might enjoy a newer video of mine on this same topic: th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html Also, because this is such an important topic, I wrote an entire book about it called, "Not Nice": cli.re/books
I used to be sick almost all the time, it was really bad. Also, I never used to get angry, and afer years of therapy i have finally given myself a right to be angry... Haven't had a bad inflamation since then
Funny how that works, isn't it? Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
I am 42. Now I find you… "The more nice you are, the worse you feel. Nice people get laughed at, bullied, used etc" I went inside myself and stayed there. Don't know how many years its been. I have no real friends and feel very much alone. I've had ppl tell me i'm too nice, they ostracised me. Now I have ostracised myself, which is conflicting as I am a outgoing person. People are shit. I will watch your videos and see what happens. Cheers
Allow me to tweak your intention just a bit...do watch my videos, AND put into practice what you learn. :) You'll find a few exercises here and there that can make a huge difference. Also, don't limit yourself to my videos. I have plenty of other help available to you! Check out the info below, and remember that you're not alone! First, check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com Okay, now for the other resources, most of which are free, or very little cost... 1) First, stay in the loop by going here and signing up for my newsletter: socialconfidencecenter.com/products/5-steps-to-unleash-your-inner-confidence/ In the process, you’ll receive my ebook that has helped thousands of people, “5 Steps To Unleash Your Inner Confidence.” You’ll also receive a lot of helpful tips and information on a regular basis as well as access to resources only available to subscribers. 2) Subscribe to my podcast here: www.ShrinkForTheShyGuy.com If offers great information for both men and women, including interviews with other leaders in the field of confidence and social anxiety. 3) Subscribe to my TH-cam channel here. (Don’t forget to click on the notification bell icon!) I release at least one new video every week! th-cam.com/users/GetMoreConfidence 4) Follow me on Facebook! facebook.com/DrAzizGazipura/ 5) Browse through my published books on specific confidence issues and how to crush them! DrAzizBooks.com 6) Check out my next live event. These weekend intensive experiences are life changing! socialconfidencecenter.com/events/
I am a typical example of the nice guy that you're talking about. My experience is that whenever I even think of reacting to someone who mistreats me, my heart would start beating so fast and loud, so much that I feel like fainting. If this person was someone I trusted and liked, tears would gush out of my eyes and my voice would fade while talking about it with him. I hate this feeling and identification of being weak and gentle. But its almost like imprinted into my personality, that I don't even know if there is a way out.
Omg! That's intense! Would you ever consider therapy? It's sounds like you're suffering from social anxiety or some kind of anxiety disorder. You shouldn't feel that amount of stress all the time. I don't think you should look down on your soft sides and certainly not your kindness. You just need to protect it and work on those other parts to feel stabil and balanced. I really hope you can get help to feel better, cause it would be so sad for you to not loose that light or not use that light when your stronger for people in your current situation. Empathic people are a special breed the world needs more of. Its painful when you don't know how to filter away crap but it can also become something powerful and awsome! 💘
That can certainly contribute. Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Most people dont even deserve your niceness since many of them would take advantage of it in a heart beat like a predator. They dont deserve your service. Be kind and nice to the ones who wont see it as a weakness. But always have boundries with everyone.
Awesome! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
They really should. But it's hard when some parents treat their own kids like that or are themselves door mats. Hateful and deliberately hurtful people shouldn't be allowed to make new human beings...
Unfortunately most people are complete failures as parents. The reason their kids are too nice is because their parents never teach them how to assert themselves, push back against disrespect and have an edge to them. They're ignorantly taught to be this soft and sweet person and to always water down what they really think. They're taught to stuff it down, agree and comply. It's pathetic...... They should be taught how to be their bold authentic selves. They should be taught to fight back when someone treats them like shit and to fearlessly stand up for their beliefs without caring if others get upset or offended. Life is meant for living. And in order to really live means taking risks and saying what you really believe, demanding the respect you deserve and not tolerating bullshit from people. Be strong and be bold or be endlessly pushed around and stepped on all your life. The bottom line is that in this world you gotta have an edge. Whenever I see someone too nice I instantly blame their pathetic failures of parents for raising them to be soft. Life is meant for living. Being pushed around and stepped on due to fear of conflict is NOT living
There's a difference between kindness and the type of "niceness" I'm referring to here. Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
In other words don't live for other people's expectations... focus on yourself don't let nobody move you off your center because of your personal choices.
It's just like they tell you before every airline flight, if the oxygen masks come down, put on yours first and then tend to anyone else for whom you're responsible. :) Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice: th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: cli.re/books
Personally, I think it has to do with the purpose, the reason for you being nice. If you're nice just to get approval from other people, then you sort of jumped into a trap you set yourself up of. Because other people's approval is not controlled by you, they can actually use that to manipulate and/or control you. Then you would feel like you HAD to be nice. But, if you're nice to others because you want to be nice, you actually enjoy being nice to others, you actually enjoy being helpful to other people, then that comes from you. That kind of nice is much more assertive, because you know you don't HAVE to do it, but you want to do it. You are then in control, you're then ONE with you're true self. When you're one with your true self, you are powerful, like a warrior. Like Clark Kent (all of a sudden)realizing he has an 'S' on his chest.
I agree with you! I am nice to people because I want to be nice and I like people to feel good, however, even though I don't feel I have to be nice, people can still take advantage and be manipulative because they know my true/organismic self (Rogerian term) is nice. They know that it causes me pain to put others through pain.
I couldn't agree more! At 36 years of age that's what I've realised. Self-confidence, being in alignment with my values paired with my natural care for others is my superpower, it's what makes me understand my environment, be inclusive, adjust to change and change to adjust. One of the biggest pros for me not apart from but connected to confidence is the removal of shame. Being ok with failing in front of others, admiting to faults. I have always thought stubbornness with not admitting ones faults as counterproductive but I didn't realise how stabil my confidence would become over time. Just to clarify about shame: Removing shame only works if you're take accountability, you cant remove shame by hiding it or denying. The reason to admitting to faults can't be approval or escape. When you truly take accountability you won't leave that situation feeling shame. If you're always left with a feeling of shame and disgust for yourself as being a loser for admitting to faults, then your self-view isn't align with your actions.
Thanks for helping me see why I try to be a nice guy....I do try to avoid confrontation and I do feel bad when someone else is disappointed with me....I will be working on this in my life....thank you again....
Hi Man, I totally agree with you, I used to be the over nice guy. One huge fear is the fear of rejection, especially when talking to girls. My biggest advice is BE HONEST , honesty on everything positive or negative. Make compliments only if they are honest and not just to please the other person. When someone is rude or does something you don't like, say it. True Honesty positive and negative is the key here.
Going through a painful phase for being nice with some people. They have absolutely started talking advantage of it. Things are going get better now. Thanks Aziz
Yes. Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
This may be 5 years old now, but as a 20year old who has always been told, by friends, by colleagues and even by a manager that I am too nice, I needed to hear this. It has always been exactly those things, fear of confrontation and fear of feeling guilty that have been constantly pressing my mind. It’s time for me to turn another page in this book. Thank you
You're welcome Drew! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
I can relate to this so much. I didn’t know I had a voice until I was 30-31 years old. Your book “Not Nice” has been such a life-changing blessing! My goal is to continue to grow to be more kind & less nice! Thank you for all your doing to help others!
Good Video Dr. Aziz, I look forward to watching more videos and getting rid of My "nice guy" persona. Pathologically Seeking approval , avoiding confrontations, fearing the judment of people among other traits have held me back from doing so much and meeting great people in my life. Its a really messed up place to be with low confidence and poor self-esteem. i'm looking to push on from this point and build my confidence.
I am super nice to clients and customers which was a problem in my last job and was part of why i was fired. It devalued the product and service they did
Great video. I've lately been following this idea of embracing conflict. I forget where I heard it from, but it really resonated. I'm in the military and there are a LOT of people with forceful personalities around. Being in a supervisor position now, I HAVE to do be assertive, or people will walk all over me. It requires finesse though, because the line between being respected and having a formal complaint filed against you is a thin and often subjective one. It is an immensely valuable skill to be sure.
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Thank you so much for your advice. Even my coworkers, family, and relative do not respect me because I cannot express disappointment, mad, offended, or get hurt from how they treat me. All the gaslighting, abuse, insults, and degrading me is/ was tiring that I isolate myself and don't talk to people anymore. I lost my confidence and sometimes think just commit suicide from feeling useless. I ask myself what is the purpose of my existence, I am scared of my future and lost meaning in life. Thank you for this.
Just now found your videos because I am reading your book “Not NIce”. I have just completed part one and I identified with so many of the things in your book. I am in my 50’s and trying to work on my conflict avoidance and confidence. I never realized that everyone else was not actually worried about what others think about themselves! My whole life has been spent trying to please! It was definitely ingrained in me because my mom is still trying to people please even though she about to have her hip replaced but still tries to wait on everyone. Thanks so much for your book. I am ready to do “whatever it takes.”
Thank you for sharing! Check out the followup to Not Nice here: www.OMOSBook.com If you'd be interested in more personal coaching you can always reach out to me here as well: www.socialconfidencecenter.com/about/contact/
Omg the covert contract. That explains me to a t!!! I think everyone knows the “golden rule” I get super annoyed if ppl don’t know it as it “should” be common sense to everyone. Thank you this video makes perfect sense!!! I’m afraid of being so lonely. Which is what’s happened since I’ve been saying no a lot and cutting ppl out since I’ve become chronically ill. I’m the workplace I used to be afraid to say no for fear of being fired since I needed my paycheck
I’m tired of being afraid to say no to people and feeling like I have to please everyone by saying yes most of the time. I realize that people don’t care if you are shy or quiet they will try to use that niceness that you have and use it against you. I’m going to be cold-hearted because that’s how people have treated me most my life.
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
I just said this yesterday, that I'm too nice and "nice guys finish last." What happens to me is when I start to break away from being nice and avoiding conflict, is people think there's something wrong with me. So I always go back to being way too nice! Time to break the cycle!
I started my full time job January of this year and I’m learning a lot. I’m a female in a male dominated industry. My plant has 5-10 females and 200-250 males. I’m learning how to stand up for myself, speaking up, and not being too nice. It’s pretty tough because I have always been a nice persona and surrounded by nice people. Your videos/books are definitely guiding me towards the right direction ❤️
I really needed to hear this. Definitely a blind spot for me in my life. I'm actually in the middle of a conflict with an old friend. I'm oscillating between ending the relationship for good and confronting him. I used to be better at expressing my anger but I got out of the groove with it and I think the main issue for me is a fear of losing the other person or seeing their true colors. I get attached to people in my life and avoid looking at the other persons flaws so I can pretend we have a perfect relationship and I also avoid asserting myself until I end up passive aggressively avoiding them for a while when my anger builds up. This does not work for me anymore. Gotta start asserting myself but I'm terrified of what will happen when I do....I would add to this video that knowing what you want in life can actually help with asserting. The more clear I get on what direction I want to move in the less I will tolerate shit that pulls me off course even if they're friends or family.
My pleasure! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Thank your for this speech. :-) So, this is about saying no and stop thinking that my life will get everthing just when I always agree. You can stay being nice and say "no". But understand why you say yes by default: 6:15 1. You do not want to get into conflicts. (Why not? Will you die? Really?) 8:42 2. Feeling guilty to hurt someones feelings. (What about my feelings?) 11:28 3. Fear your own anger. (Why? Is it your fault? Can't you control it and use it for something good?)
It's funny how I agree with everything you just said.. like my neck is actually sore from nodding by listening to you. I've been digging inside my mind for days, and came to the conclusion that health is the most valuable thing you own, which will be damaged if you go against its natural state.. in this case its not expressing my anger. which brought me to the question: "why would you you allow others to damage your mentally which eventually damages your health?" THAT'S where I decided that it's enough!! I think its good to ask yourself questions to find out what fears you the most first, and from then on experiment by doing small things everyday to conquer those fears.
Hi Aziz! I really like your videos and all the advice you share. About 5 years ago I cut my self with a knife to the wrist and almost died, all because of that I couldn't accept how my niceness controlled me and made me weak. Nowadays I feel a lot better and I have started to work out with weights, and that makes me feel more powerful and strong. Keep up the good work and thank you for all the support you give from all of your videos. Cheers!
If you are nice all the time, you can actually be a shitty person because you are saying "I don't respect myself enough or care about you enough to actually hash this out." And you'll find out who is worth hashing things out with. You can even agree to disagree without being pushed around. But for crying out loud don't let bullies push you! lol...
I haven't been watching your videos since a few months now and notice myself subtly falling back to old patterns. Rewatched it today-and remembered my fear of confrontation problem. I am having problems with a boss. Time to take action again. So grateful Aziz!
Welcome back! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
I can't thank you enough Aziz. I bought audible version of your book "Not Nice". It really helped me a lot to change my self image as a people pleaser. Thank you for all the work you do ❤️
Awesome video! Thank you so much! The only thing that I don’t agree with is that if we hurt other people that we don’t care about them, that we care about our own selves and feelings. I do care if I hurt another person and don’t want to do that, but I am also so tired of getting run over!! So I do think that both aspects are true!! I don’t think most people want to hurt another, but that doesn’t mean that we should constantly get hurt or allow them to constantly run us over either!!
Thank you so much! I actually lied to someone the other day so I would not hurt their feelings... I should have just told them I do not want to do this. Thank you for your video and now I am going to be braver in the future to speak my mind!
The thing is that you start noticing you are like this after long perion of time of being like this. At a point in life you are torn and notice that there is something wrong with you. You feel the urge to do something to solve this. Especially the way people treat you ,will make you want to do something about that. The younger you discover this ,the better. But its never never late....take all the courage that you have, don't give up and work on this. Don't ever give up because every situation, everything that happens is an opportunity for you to learn and corect yourself. Take a pen and start writing. Write about situations, talk about your fears , find solutions for the problems,.think about how you can deal with situations..........use mirror to practice..... Then practice everyday.......everything in your everyday life , everything that happens in your everyday journey, every single situation is actually an opportunity to practice........... Continue writing about better solutions and practice again and again......you'll find results.. The thing is that, you didn't choose to be like this. for whatever reason, you actually came up to be like this. Its a real torture where you are the only loser. You may came up to be like this BUT you do have an opportunity to change because being like this is not being you. You need to change to recover yourself. You need to be you. The most interesting thing about that is that if you actually change , you'll be better than anyone. You are sincere and you will always do what actually needs to be done. You'll do the right things. Hope that helps.
Preach it my friend! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Glad I could help! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Thank you! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Thanks Aziz, I am writing probably after 2 months after I watched the video. What you said helped me. I am comfortable being me, not waiting on approval. I see the results that people are attracted to me that I am comfortable, thanks again... God bless you...
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
so right... i'm 50% confident since i don't have guilt but i have fear of confrontation... i don't like physical fight actually... so I need to work that out... will be more confronting now... i will face my fear and be 100% confident soon... thanks doc! just subscribed to ur chanel... 😃
Thank you so much for posting this! I can relate so much to it. Listening to this is like describing my life, being nice and passive have been such a pain in my life it heavily affected my job, my life, it's been so toxic to my life. I am that passive that who is even scared to ask for a recipe while being charged the wrong price!!
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Thanks again, Aziz. I do find myself being non-confrontational a lot of the time. It is scary. I do experience that 'being pissed off at women' that you mentioned in myself but its not all the time, because as you said, it's kind of 'stuffed' away.
I was friends with a neighbour and after a while she started treating me like crap. No matter how nice I was to her she persisted with treating me badly. She even hit on my husband. Anyway I cut off all contact with her and it felt so good to just stop being around her and stand up for myself. Life is too short to be treated badly. I’d rather be alone.
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Dude. GREAT post! I did not love the pitch at the end, though and I felt a little led astray at that moment. I recovered but it didn’t feel good. I think there’s a way that you can offer your course that doesn’t feel so sales oriented. Just, “hey, if you like what I’m talking about and you want to learn more” .... that gives me a clue that I’m abt to be offered a product. Good luck and again, such solid advice!
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
I think the way to be “less nice” (which is something I need to work on for myself) is that when you get an idea to do something nice for someone, (especially a little thing) just ask yourself: “If I don’t do this nice thing, will it make me a bad guy?” If the answer is “no”, then don’t do it. I was playing Mario Party with my niece and nephew at my sister and bro-in-law’s house, it was my turn to play (we were sharing one controller) and I was able to play a mini-game called “Dinger Derby” (you don’t choose the mini-game, the Mario Party game does it for you) where all you do is CLOUT some homers. I’ve played this mini-game many times before and my 10-year-old athletic aficionado nephew was bummed that I was gonna play that game, because he’s never played it before and really wanted to because he loves baseball. I did have that avuncular voice enter my head saying: “Let your nephew play the game. He loves baseball, he’s been wanting to play it for a long time and you’ve played this game many times before.” Then I asked myself: “If I don’t do that and I just play the game, because it is my turn, does that make me a bad guy and worse, will it make me a bad uncle?” To me, the answer was “no.” So, in my opinion, I think that’s how to be less nice (on this Mario Party game, they do have a section where you can play all the mini-games and next time he comes over to my house, I plan on surprising him with that game). Good vid. I like that goes hand-in-hand with your Be More Selfish vid (which I also really like). Also, Robert Glover wrote “No More Mr. Nice Guy” Final Note: Doing Nice is a choice. When someone does something nice, I think what blows everyone away about it is the fact that the nice person CHOSE to do something nice when they didn’t have to do so. So, when you get the idea to do something nice (especially a little thing), just ask yourself: “If I don’t do this nice thing, will it make me a bad guy?” If the answer is “no”, then don’t do it.
it's so sad that society has degaded to the Roman way of life. but I'm grateful to people like you who are out there teaching men how to be men. Personally I have relatives that didn't respect me until I moved an entire state over and to be honest some of them still don't. People like you encourage me to not give a fuck anymore, and as a result my balls have increased exponentially in size. Kudos.
Daniel Johns Congratulations to you and you're um balls? Lol. Joking aside this is exactly why I do what I do. I appreciate you taking the time to comment my friend. :)
Daniel Johns this is not just advice for guys. Women suffer from this because we are socially programmed to be nice. I didn’t grow balls from this but I feel like my ovaries are now double. Lol
Very informative and humorous. I watch many videos and have read many self help books to the point that they're starting to give me the same message. Dr. Aziz I can HONESTLY say that your messages are exceptionally set apart and I FINALLY feel like I'm on my way to becoming the very best version of myself. Talk about empowerment!!
People seem to confuse kindness and being nice with being insecure, lack assertiveness. It's not the same, or even related. There needs to be intent behind kind gestures for it to actually be deemed as nice. If the only reason for being nice is fear of confrontation and/or guilt without any intent of care it's simply a under developed way of self-preservation from being insecure. Even if your actions could be percieved as nice from an outside perspective it still wouldn't make you nice. Cause there was no intent to be nice in the first place. To promote yourself or a certain deed as nice when it's solely self-preservation without intent of care is manipulative. That type of communication isn't in line with your feelings and what you actually think. And as the video presented, that's why this behaviour will be followed by anger and resent. As soon as this surfaces it breaks the illusion of kindness and to most people will be percieved with fear and disgust. The disgust isn't a response to your anger, (anger is a valid emotion depending on the situation), the response of fear and disgust actualises from the realisation that there wasn't any intent of kindness behind the act. Which means that they have been lied to and don't know who you really are or your real motive. To be percieved as nice without any intent of kindness isnt manipulative or bad by default. Whatevers nice could be nice, as long there's no intent to come off as kind. The action can be nice without it reflecting on the person doing it. The person could be nice, but it not necessarily because of it. An example: The sun on your skin a warm spring day. The sun feels nice. Or The sun in the scorching Sahara on you. The sun feels painful. The sun isn't nice, and the sun isn't malicious. But the sun also isn't shining cause its afraid of confrontation or guilt. There's no intent of being anything. It burns and it shines. We can appreciate it and we can hate it. My recommendation would be, don't manipulate people by leading them to believe you care for them, to want them isn't the same as to care. There's nothing wrong with being kind, if you truly care for people. Just limit your kindness to people who are also kind and appreciate it. And if you simply don't care about others, then don't try to promote yourself as a person who does, a nice guy..cause it will show when your not actions don't add up with the behavior, you'll become mad while being a disappointment to others.
Yes! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
You're welcome! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
when I was little I always feared my anger to the point where I thought if I stood up to someone and they resisted me the slightest I would murder them where they stood... I deal with this till I was 28... smh.
The best video! I can only add one thing - I can be assertive and speak my mind with close people with whom I can predict their reactions but it's super hard for me when I don't know what to expect from a stranger.
Yes! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
I can totally relate to everything that you're saying! It's like you know me or something. LOL! I even had the exact same fight with a kid when I was younger. I scratch the hell out of his face! LOL thank you so much for this video! I am finished being a nice guy all of the time.
Exactly! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
there is a difference between being nice and being agreeable or fake nice. most unconfident, "nice guys" are too agreeable and bend to the people around them to try to get people to like them. This is a fake nice guy, because they are only being nice so that others will like them not because they are genuinely nice
thank you, simply just thank you, i hesitated about writing this comment but i'll just write it, I have it very bad, anxiety hits when im at college and i feel that everybody has their eyes on me, i thought about suicide very many times, One time i was scrolling through books in a book store and i found your book(Not Nice) and it was like a lightbulb in a dark room, again, thank you
I'm so glad you found me! Here are a couple of other videos you may find useful: th-cam.com/video/mm3YXvuOb-Q/w-d-xo.html and th-cam.com/video/A0tNX3x3SBo/w-d-xo.html Also, I think you'd enjoy by new book, which just released. It's a follow up to "Not Nice" called, "On My Own Side." You can learn more here: wwwOMOSBook.com
You're very welcome! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Omg, when he started talking about how he slips back into it sometimes! So, this is a practice that we might have to come back to and remind ourselves how to get back into confidence mode, because shit happens and that's okay. Acknowledging what you're afraid of, therefore becoming better able to overcome it. And learning how to scare a potential opponent if we happen to get in a fight lol! I was in one fight before too because another girl slapped me and pulled my hair because she wanted to look like a badass in front of her friends who didn't like me because I stood up to one of them for putting gum in my hair.
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
I don’t like people but I’m “nice” to avoid arguments. I’m not witty and blank out while under pressure, so I avoid people at all risks. I cringe when people call me sweet because I’m bitter deep inside.
For me it’s not speaking up about my opinion (like at a dinner table); that’s fine. That’s easy. For me it’s confronting someone about something they did to me, or the way they spoke to me. That fear of direct “conflict” is what I fear. That they will perceive me as rude and we won’t have the same relationship with each other again. Anyone else?
Glad it was helpful! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
I have been told there are times I have been too nice when I should've been mean like someone has been mean to me. That I need to develop a mean streak. Maybe I should develop a mean streak.
Do whatever it takes! Also, check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice: th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: cli.re/books
I am reading ur book not nice...its great..i mean its so genuine..every example is so relatable...as if i was going through this and i didnt knew it was a problem untill i read ur book...its great soon i will finish it...u r awesome..i feel so connected with ur book snd videos...looking forward for more like this...
I thought the message spoke to a certain group of people, demographics. Though, couple years back I think the message was powerful. I will be confronting someone today. Ty Azizz
You're welcome. Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
I saw the first video you did on how to be less nice and it was life changing, especially where you say to maintain the eye contact a bit longer and shave a little off your smile and the thing about silence: to not feel obligated to fill the voids. That one is huge!! I wish you could do a video on the power of silence. I still tend to be Chatty Cathy and find I relinquish so much of my own personal power. If I may make one suggestion? I thought you came across much more powerful in that video than in this one because you weren't using profanity. You don't need to do that. I know that's the trend, but you are much more convincing without it. You rock!! Really appreciate your videos and all that you do. Btw, I also think it comes across as fake because I don't think it's your true nature to curse.
I agree on the cursing part. I admire Dr. Aziz but because he comes from a humble beginning just like us it doesn't flow naturally. I know because I'm the same way. I sound stupid cussing but I still do it anyway because of bad habit, but that doesn't mean I stop sounding stupid haha...but his point on how you need to use that anger towards confrontations is clear.
Sam Perez I can always tell those who are faking it (to be "in") from those who aren't. Unless it's real, don't do it. Maybe he thinks it's young and hip sounding and is trying to appeal to a certain demographic. I've been listening to him for about a year now and just recently subscribed and have noticed a marked difference. It's kind of hip to be "square." I guess I'm seeing it from a linguistic viewpoint.
+Breakthrough Moment I agree he'd sound better if he stopped the swearing. I myself plan to stop because it's hard to swear just a little and it ends up being too often.
Shit, he's right. I do feel like a kid when someone confronts me, especially when they're older than me. I hate that. And I know part of it comes from being praised as a kid for being nice and obedient in school and from going to extremes to not trigger the bullies in high school, which didn't work anyway. The worst part is when you're trying not to anger someone who doesn't like you anyway. One way I've heard is to speak your mind, but always be polite about it. It's hard for them to use anything you say against you when you're polite.
I'm glad you found this video! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Aziz I'm 11 and I have no confidence for example when my step mom, my dad, sisters, or whoever talks bad about me or my mom, I just sit there keeping in the chair . But you have helped me some I just started yesterday so. I only have one person in my life and I nearly see her 5 times a year. Thank you so much Aziz.
It took me so-so- long to learn this crucial lesson. Yes, "Nice guys finish last." - end of quote. Being too nice makes you an "instant target" to an insane bully.
Thank you so much! I have a lot more info on this topic you might wish to check out. Here's a newer video on being less nice: th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html This topic is so important I wrote en entire book about it! You can see it here: cli.re/books
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
The more nice you are, the worse you feel. Nice people get laughed at, bullied, used etc.
True
Exactly!!!
True that 100%the world doesn't deserve good people
In my present workplace there are honestly jerks, who really demeans and speak to others!!
That’s true.
It's sad that people will take your kindness for weakness. Thanks for posting this.
You're welcome. Take heart, there's a balance that includes kindness. :) Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice: th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: cli.re/books
If your too toooo nice than it is considered a weakness
Be KIND, not nice. Kind has boundaries, nice is submission
Thank you for sharing!
Have always been a nice person. Always felt spineless, never having my own voice in front of people. Mostly because of whether people judged me or whether I hurt their feelings. I now feel ready to change into a more powerful individual who matters in this world. Thanks Dr Aziz. Never stop uploading your vids!
Glad to hear you are getting positive info from my videos! Check out my new book dedicated to this topic titled, “Not Nice” here: cli.re/books
Just wanna let you know that your road to selfcare and respect, doesn't have to remove kindness. If your a true empathic person, keep that to your core. You just need to protect it by not bending over backwards hurting yourself. It's the lack of confidence that makes kindness pesky to navigate. But if you can turn up stabil, confident and kind you'll have super powers to help people, inspire and sail trough life while having narcissistic people shaking by there knees 😄 They won't tell you, but the truly selfish and spiteful people will be envious! Cause they simply don't know how. Protect your light with love for yourself, but don't kill it and lose the faith in loving others!
I'm done being nice to people who dont respect me in return
That's the first step! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Me too 👏🏽🙌🏾
35 years old and just learning this...
Better late than never! :)
Sean Grady I'm 39 and I'm learning this.
Its alright .
Atleast.
Empress Zaire are you still doing this? I’m 23 and trying to figure it al out
I am 44 and way too nice lol
Amazing video, this is really what's all about. Being nice won't get you far in life, people will walk over you. You need to set boundaries. Few more points about being too nice and when you decide to stop being nice:
- Be prepared to upset other people sometimes
- Don't put yourself always last
- Have you own point of view without waiting what other people think
- Don't always say yes to everything
- Never be pushed around or taken advantage of
- When you need to ''hiss'', ''hiss''
+Crater777 when you need to "hiss", "hiss" ....bomb advice
Crater777 but it's not good to be mean
Right on! Check out my new book dedicated to this topic, it's called, "Not Nice" - socialconfidencecenter.com/not-nice
The more nice you are, the more badly you are being treated.
I suffered from chronic depressed for being way too nice.
I'll share with you what I've shared with a few others here in the comments.
You might enjoy a newer video of mine on this same topic: th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html Also, because this is such an important topic, I wrote an entire book about it called, "Not Nice": cli.re/books
Thank you sir
Allah bless you
Sad
I used to be sick almost all the time, it was really bad. Also, I never used to get angry, and afer years of therapy i have finally given myself a right to be angry... Haven't had a bad inflamation since then
Funny how that works, isn't it? Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
I am 42. Now I find you… "The more nice you are, the worse you feel. Nice people get laughed at, bullied, used etc" I went inside myself and stayed there. Don't know how many years its been. I have no real friends and feel very much alone. I've had ppl tell me i'm too nice, they ostracised me. Now I have ostracised myself, which is conflicting as I am a outgoing person. People are shit. I will watch your videos and see what happens. Cheers
Allow me to tweak your intention just a bit...do watch my videos, AND put into practice what you learn. :) You'll find a few exercises here and there that can make a huge difference. Also, don't limit yourself to my videos. I have plenty of other help available to you! Check out the info below, and remember that you're not alone!
First, check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Okay, now for the other resources, most of which are free, or very little cost...
1) First, stay in the loop by going here and signing up for my newsletter:
socialconfidencecenter.com/products/5-steps-to-unleash-your-inner-confidence/
In the process, you’ll receive my ebook that has helped thousands of people, “5 Steps To Unleash Your Inner Confidence.”
You’ll also receive a lot of helpful tips and information on a regular basis as well as access to resources only available to subscribers.
2) Subscribe to my podcast here: www.ShrinkForTheShyGuy.com
If offers great information for both men and women, including interviews with other leaders in the field of confidence and social anxiety.
3) Subscribe to my TH-cam channel here. (Don’t forget to click on the notification bell icon!) I release at least one new video every week!
th-cam.com/users/GetMoreConfidence
4) Follow me on Facebook! facebook.com/DrAzizGazipura/
5) Browse through my published books on specific confidence issues and how to crush them!
DrAzizBooks.com
6) Check out my next live event. These weekend intensive experiences are life changing!
socialconfidencecenter.com/events/
I am just learning these lessons as a 36 year old man -- Wish I learned this when I was in high school like everybody else
How u doing now?
How are you doing now ?? Did this made any difference? That did me at almost 42 too 😀
I am a typical example of the nice guy that you're talking about. My experience is that whenever I even think of reacting to someone who mistreats me, my heart would start beating so fast and loud, so much that I feel like fainting. If this person was someone I trusted and liked, tears would gush out of my eyes and my voice would fade while talking about it with him.
I hate this feeling and identification of being weak and gentle. But its almost like imprinted into my personality, that I don't even know if there is a way out.
I understand. Check out my new book dedicated to this topic, it's called, "Not Nice" - socialconfidencecenter.com/not-nice
I feel for you
Omg! That's intense! Would you ever consider therapy? It's sounds like you're suffering from social anxiety or some kind of anxiety disorder. You shouldn't feel that amount of stress all the time. I don't think you should look down on your soft sides and certainly not your kindness. You just need to protect it and work on those other parts to feel stabil and balanced. I really hope you can get help to feel better, cause it would be so sad for you to not loose that light or not use that light when your stronger for people in your current situation. Empathic people are a special breed the world needs more of. Its painful when you don't know how to filter away crap but it can also become something powerful and awsome! 💘
I’m not ignorant of the fact that my low self esteem comes from an abusive home.
That can certainly contribute. Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Yes, I agree for that.
Most people dont even deserve your niceness since many of them would take advantage of it in a heart beat like a predator. They dont deserve your service. Be kind and nice to the ones who wont see it as a weakness. But always have boundries with everyone.
#TRUTH
turned 31 and learning this, and feel happy atleast i learned it now
Awesome! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Parents should teach kids about "self respect" so that they don't become door mats and punching bags for the rest of our lives..
I know, right?!
I agree most parents ngl have failed their kids in this generation
They really should. But it's hard when some parents treat their own kids like that or are themselves door mats. Hateful and deliberately hurtful people shouldn't be allowed to make new human beings...
Unfortunately most people are complete failures as parents. The reason their kids are too nice is because their parents never teach them how to assert themselves, push back against disrespect and have an edge to them. They're ignorantly taught to be this soft and sweet person and to always water down what they really think. They're taught to stuff it down, agree and comply. It's pathetic...... They should be taught how to be their bold authentic selves. They should be taught to fight back when someone treats them like shit and to fearlessly stand up for their beliefs without caring if others get upset or offended. Life is meant for living. And in order to really live means taking risks and saying what you really believe, demanding the respect you deserve and not tolerating bullshit from people. Be strong and be bold or be endlessly pushed around and stepped on all your life. The bottom line is that in this world you gotta have an edge. Whenever I see someone too nice I instantly blame their pathetic failures of parents for raising them to be soft. Life is meant for living. Being pushed around and stepped on due to fear of conflict is NOT living
The more confident we are, the more nice we can be to others...because we become authentic...
There's a difference between kindness and the type of "niceness" I'm referring to here. Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
In other words don't live for other people's expectations... focus on yourself don't let nobody move you off your center because of your personal choices.
It's just like they tell you before every airline flight, if the oxygen masks come down, put on yours first and then tend to anyone else for whom you're responsible. :) Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice: th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: cli.re/books
Personally, I think it has to do with the purpose, the reason for you being nice.
If you're nice just to get approval from other people, then you sort of jumped
into a trap you set yourself up of. Because other people's approval is not
controlled by you, they can actually use that to manipulate and/or control you.
Then you would feel like you HAD to be nice.
But, if you're nice to others because you want to be nice, you actually
enjoy being nice to others, you actually enjoy being helpful to other people,
then that comes from you. That kind of nice is much more assertive,
because you know you don't HAVE to do it, but you want to do it.
You are then in control, you're then ONE with you're true self.
When you're one with your true self, you are powerful, like a warrior.
Like Clark Kent (all of a sudden)realizing he has an 'S' on his chest.
+Steven Li
and
MUSIC please, don don don don, don don don
I agree with you! I am nice to people because I want to be nice and I like people to feel good, however, even though I don't feel I have to be nice, people can still take advantage and be manipulative because they know my true/organismic self (Rogerian term) is nice. They know that it causes me pain to put others through pain.
Bingo! Check out my new book dedicated to this topic, it's called, "Not Nice" - socialconfidencecenter.com/not-nice
I couldn't agree more! At 36 years of age that's what I've realised. Self-confidence, being in alignment with my values paired with my natural care for others is my superpower, it's what makes me understand my environment, be inclusive, adjust to change and change to adjust. One of the biggest pros for me not apart from but connected to confidence is the removal of shame. Being ok with failing in front of others, admiting to faults. I have always thought stubbornness with not admitting ones faults as counterproductive but I didn't realise how stabil my confidence would become over time.
Just to clarify about shame:
Removing shame only works if you're take accountability, you cant remove shame by hiding it or denying. The reason to admitting to faults can't be approval or escape. When you truly take accountability you won't leave that situation feeling shame. If you're always left with a feeling of shame and disgust for yourself as being a loser for admitting to faults, then your self-view isn't align with your actions.
Thanks for helping me see why I try to be a nice guy....I do try to avoid confrontation and I do feel bad when someone else is disappointed with me....I will be working on this in my life....thank you again....
Hi Man,
I totally agree with you, I used to be the over nice guy.
One huge fear is the fear of rejection, especially when talking to girls.
My biggest advice is BE HONEST , honesty on everything positive or negative.
Make compliments only if they are honest and not just to please the other person.
When someone is rude or does something you don't like, say it.
True Honesty positive and negative is the key here.
Going through a painful phase for being nice with some people. They have absolutely started talking advantage of it. Things are going get better now. Thanks Aziz
Awesome! Check out my new book dedicated to this topic titled, “Not Nice” here: cli.re/books
Yes... yes...this is what pulling me back the 'fear of confrontation'..I will kill the fear of confrontation and start small cinfrontions from now..
Yes. Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
This may be 5 years old now, but as a 20year old who has always been told, by friends, by colleagues and even by a manager that I am too nice, I needed to hear this. It has always been exactly those things, fear of confrontation and fear of feeling guilty that have been constantly pressing my mind. It’s time for me to turn another page in this book. Thank you
You're welcome Drew! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Damn Man. You should be invited for a TED Talk. Your videos are very inspiring. keep it up!
YES! A comment I agree with 100%!
Thank you, I'd LOVE to! You got an inside connection for me?
Very helpful insight. Never realized that my hidden motivation for my nice behavior is partly to avoid uncomfortable feelings like guilt. Thanks!
You can be kind, you just can’t be nice. 💚
That's a very short way to put it. :)
I can relate to this so much. I didn’t know I had a voice until I was 30-31 years old. Your book “Not Nice” has been such a life-changing blessing! My goal is to continue to grow to be more kind & less nice! Thank you for all your doing to help others!
Wonderful!
Good Video Dr. Aziz, I look forward to watching more videos and getting rid of My "nice guy" persona. Pathologically Seeking approval , avoiding confrontations, fearing the judment of people among other traits have held me back from doing so much and meeting great people in my life. Its a really messed up place to be with low confidence and poor self-esteem. i'm looking to push on from this point and build my confidence.
I am super nice to clients and customers which was a problem in my last job and was part of why i was fired. It devalued the product and service they did
Very interesting to hear of this aspect!
Great video. I've lately been following this idea of embracing conflict. I forget where I heard it from, but it really resonated. I'm in the military and there are a LOT of people with forceful personalities around. Being in a supervisor position now, I HAVE to do be assertive, or people will walk all over me. It requires finesse though, because the line between being respected and having a formal complaint filed against you is a thin and often subjective one. It is an immensely valuable skill to be sure.
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Thank you so much for your advice. Even my coworkers, family, and relative do not respect me because I cannot express disappointment, mad, offended, or get hurt from how they treat me. All the gaslighting, abuse, insults, and degrading me is/ was tiring that I isolate myself and don't talk to people anymore. I lost my confidence and sometimes think just commit suicide from feeling useless. I ask myself what is the purpose of my existence, I am scared of my future and lost meaning in life. Thank you for this.
You're very welcome. Don't let others who mistreat you rob you of your joy and your zest for life.
Just now found your videos because I am reading your book “Not NIce”. I have just completed part one and I identified with so many of the things in your book. I am in my 50’s and trying to work on my conflict avoidance and confidence. I never realized that everyone else was not actually worried about what others think about themselves! My whole life has been spent trying to please! It was definitely ingrained in me because my mom is still trying to people please even though she about to have her hip replaced but still tries to wait on everyone. Thanks so much for your book. I am ready to do “whatever it takes.”
Thank you for sharing! Check out the followup to Not Nice here: www.OMOSBook.com If you'd be interested in more personal coaching you can always reach out to me here as well: www.socialconfidencecenter.com/about/contact/
Omg the covert contract. That explains me to a t!!! I think everyone knows the “golden rule” I get super annoyed if ppl don’t know it as it “should” be common sense to everyone. Thank you this video makes perfect sense!!! I’m afraid of being so lonely. Which is what’s happened since I’ve been saying no a lot and cutting ppl out since I’ve become chronically ill. I’m the workplace I used to be afraid to say no for fear of being fired since I needed my paycheck
I'm glad this resonated with you!
Get More Confidence it’s so amazing that you took the time to answer my comments. I appreciate it more than you know. Thank you.
@@Ilovevintage77 Keep on moving forward, don't give up!
@@Ilovevintage77 You're very welcome!
I’m tired of being afraid to say no to people and feeling like I have to please everyone by saying yes most of the time. I realize that people don’t care if you are shy or quiet they will try to use that niceness that you have and use it against you. I’m going to be cold-hearted because that’s how people have treated me most my life.
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
@@GetMoreConfidence Thank You!
Someone get this man more subscribers. Best Confidence guru ive come across by far. Wish I could get tutored by him in person.
I just said this yesterday, that I'm too nice and "nice guys finish last." What happens to me is when I start to break away from being nice and avoiding conflict, is people think there's something wrong with me. So I always go back to being way too nice! Time to break the cycle!
I started my full time job January of this year and I’m learning a lot. I’m a female in a male dominated industry. My plant has 5-10 females and 200-250 males. I’m learning how to stand up for myself, speaking up, and not being too nice.
It’s pretty tough because I have always been a nice persona and surrounded by nice people.
Your videos/books are definitely guiding me towards the right direction ❤️
Awesome!
I really needed to hear this. Definitely a blind spot for me in my life. I'm actually in the middle of a conflict with an old friend. I'm oscillating between ending the relationship for good and confronting him. I used to be better at expressing my anger but I got out of the groove with it and I think the main issue for me is a fear of losing the other person or seeing their true colors. I get attached to people in my life and avoid looking at the other persons flaws so I can pretend we have a perfect relationship and I also avoid asserting myself until I end up passive aggressively avoiding them for a while when my anger builds up. This does not work for me anymore. Gotta start asserting myself but I'm terrified of what will happen when I do....I would add to this video that knowing what you want in life can actually help with asserting. The more clear I get on what direction I want to move in the less I will tolerate shit that pulls me off course even if they're friends or family.
Sounds like you really have a handle on this!
Learnt it so late.. 38 years😅 Thank you , Dr.Aziz!
My pleasure! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Thank your for this speech. :-) So, this is about saying no and stop thinking that my life will get everthing just when I always agree. You can stay being nice and say "no". But understand why you say yes by default:
6:15 1. You do not want to get into conflicts. (Why not? Will you die? Really?)
8:42 2. Feeling guilty to hurt someones feelings. (What about my feelings?)
11:28 3. Fear your own anger. (Why? Is it your fault? Can't you control it and use it for something good?)
It's funny how I agree with everything you just said.. like my neck is actually sore from nodding by listening to you.
I've been digging inside my mind for days, and came to the conclusion that health is the most valuable thing you own, which will be damaged if you go against its natural state.. in this case its not expressing my anger. which brought me to the question: "why would you you allow others to damage your mentally which eventually damages your health?" THAT'S where I decided that it's enough!!
I think its good to ask yourself questions to find out what fears you the most first, and from then on experiment by doing small things everyday to conquer those fears.
You're a great speaker man
jose lara Why thank you! :)
Hi Aziz! I really like your videos and all the advice you share. About 5 years ago I cut my self with a knife to the wrist and almost died, all because of that I couldn't accept how my niceness controlled me and made me weak.
Nowadays I feel a lot better and I have started to work out with weights, and that makes me feel more powerful and strong.
Keep up the good work and thank you for all the support you give from all of your videos.
Cheers!
hey man keep it up, I know that working out will help with at least feeling strong enough to deal with most of these problems.
Thank you for sharing this comment 👍🏽
So glad you are here with is now Johan! Keep up the good work my man!
Check out my new book dedicated to this topic, it's called, "Not Nice" - socialconfidencecenter.com/not-nice
If you are nice all the time, you can actually be a shitty person because you are saying "I don't respect myself enough or care about you enough to actually hash this out." And you'll find out who is worth hashing things out with. You can even agree to disagree without being pushed around. But for crying out loud don't let bullies push you! lol...
I haven't been watching your videos since a few months now and notice myself subtly falling back to old patterns. Rewatched it today-and remembered my fear of confrontation problem. I am having problems with a boss. Time to take action again. So grateful Aziz!
Welcome back! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
@@GetMoreConfidence I already have it.
Your own transformation is inspiring
Thank you! It as a long road.
I can't thank you enough Aziz. I bought audible version of your book "Not Nice". It really helped me a lot to change my self image as a people pleaser. Thank you for all the work you do ❤️
You're most welcome! Check out my follow up to "Not Nice" entitled "OMOS - On My Own Side" www.OMOSBoook.com
Awesome video! Thank you so much! The only thing that I don’t agree with is that if we hurt other people that we don’t care about them, that we care about our own selves and feelings. I do care if I hurt another person and don’t want to do that, but I am also so tired of getting run over!! So I do think that both aspects are true!! I don’t think most people want to hurt another, but that doesn’t mean that we should constantly get hurt or allow them to constantly run us over either!!
Some people will display being hurt no matter what you do. Sometimes it's a means of manipulation. There's a balance and you can find it!
Thank you so much! I actually lied to someone the other day so I would not hurt their feelings... I should have just told them I do not want to do this. Thank you for your video and now I am going to be braver in the future to speak my mind!
Yes! Check out my new book dedicated to this topic, it's called, "Not Nice" - socialconfidencecenter.com/not-nice
The thing is that you start noticing you are like this after long perion of time of being like this. At a point in life you are torn and notice that there is something wrong with you. You feel the urge to do something to solve this. Especially the way people treat you ,will make you want to do something about that. The younger you discover this ,the better. But its never never late....take all the courage that you have, don't give up and work on this. Don't ever give up because every situation, everything that happens is an opportunity for you to learn and corect yourself. Take a pen and start writing. Write about situations, talk about your fears , find solutions for the problems,.think about how you can deal with situations..........use mirror to practice.....
Then practice everyday.......everything in your everyday life , everything that happens in your everyday journey, every single situation is actually an opportunity to practice...........
Continue writing about better solutions and practice again and again......you'll find results..
The thing is that, you didn't choose to be like this.
for whatever reason, you actually came up to be like this. Its a real torture where you are the only loser.
You may came up to be like this BUT you do have an opportunity to change because being like this is not being you. You need to change to recover yourself. You need to be you.
The most interesting thing about that is that if you actually change , you'll be better than anyone.
You are sincere and you will always do what actually needs to be done. You'll do the right things.
Hope that helps.
Preach it my friend! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
@@GetMoreConfidence Thank you Dr asiz. I actually discovered this through your videos. Thanks again
Thanks man, searching this for the first time at 26 years of age
Glad I could help! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
You are amazing!
Your voice and expression is mind blowing. It feels so real and unforced - really cool.
So genuine and honest! I want to be like you
Thank you! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Thanks Aziz, I am writing probably after 2 months after I watched the video. What you said helped me. I am comfortable being me, not waiting on approval.
I see the results that people are attracted to me that I am comfortable, thanks again... God bless you...
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
so right... i'm 50% confident since i don't have guilt but i have fear of confrontation... i don't like physical fight actually... so I need to work that out... will be more confronting now... i will face my fear and be 100% confident soon... thanks doc! just subscribed to ur chanel... 😃
Thank you so much for posting this! I can relate so much to it. Listening to this is like describing my life, being nice and passive have been such a pain in my life it heavily affected my job, my life, it's been so toxic to my life. I am that passive that who is even scared to ask for a recipe while being charged the wrong price!!
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Thanks again, Aziz. I do find myself being non-confrontational a lot of the time.
It is scary. I do experience that 'being pissed off at women' that you mentioned in myself but its not all the time, because as you said, it's kind of 'stuffed' away.
You have changed my life. I'm going to buy your books and I'm empowered to change being a nice guy.
I was friends with a neighbour and after a while she started treating me like crap. No matter how nice I was to her she persisted with treating me badly. She even hit on my husband. Anyway I cut off all contact with her and it felt so good to just stop being around her and stand up for myself. Life is too short to be treated badly. I’d rather be alone.
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
How are you doing now ?
Dude. GREAT post! I did not love the pitch at the end, though and I felt a little led astray at that moment. I recovered but it didn’t feel good. I think there’s a way that you can offer your course that doesn’t feel so sales oriented. Just, “hey, if you like what I’m talking about and you want to learn more” .... that gives me a clue that I’m abt to be offered a product. Good luck and again, such solid advice!
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
I think the way to be “less nice” (which is something I need to work on for myself) is that when you get an idea to do something nice for someone, (especially a little thing) just ask yourself: “If I don’t do this nice thing, will it make me a bad guy?” If the answer is “no”, then don’t do it. I was playing Mario Party with my niece and nephew at my sister and bro-in-law’s house, it was my turn to play (we were sharing one controller) and I was able to play a mini-game called “Dinger Derby” (you don’t choose the mini-game, the Mario Party game does it for you) where all you do is CLOUT some homers. I’ve played this mini-game many times before and my 10-year-old athletic aficionado nephew was bummed that I was gonna play that game, because he’s never played it before and really wanted to because he loves baseball. I did have that avuncular voice enter my head saying: “Let your nephew play the game. He loves baseball, he’s been wanting to play it for a long time and you’ve played this game many times before.” Then I asked myself: “If I don’t do that and I just play the game, because it is my turn, does that make me a bad guy and worse, will it make me a bad uncle?” To me, the answer was “no.” So, in my opinion, I think that’s how to be less nice (on this Mario Party game, they do have a section where you can play all the mini-games and next time he comes over to my house, I plan on surprising him with that game).
Good vid. I like that goes hand-in-hand with your Be More Selfish vid (which I also really like). Also, Robert Glover wrote “No More Mr. Nice Guy”
Final Note: Doing Nice is a choice. When someone does something nice, I think what blows everyone away about it is the fact that the nice person CHOSE to do something nice when they didn’t have to do so. So, when you get the idea to do something nice (especially a little thing), just ask yourself: “If I don’t do this nice thing, will it make me a bad guy?” If the answer is “no”, then don’t do it.
Thank you for sharing!
it's so sad that society has degaded to the Roman way of life.
but I'm grateful to people like you who are out there teaching men how to be men. Personally I have relatives that didn't respect me until I moved an entire state over and to be honest some of them still don't. People like you encourage me to not give a fuck anymore, and as a result my balls have increased exponentially in size.
Kudos.
Daniel Johns Congratulations to you and you're um balls? Lol. Joking aside this is exactly why I do what I do. I appreciate you taking the time to comment my friend. :)
Daniel Johns this is not just advice for guys. Women suffer from this because we are socially programmed to be nice. I didn’t grow balls from this but I feel like my ovaries are now double. Lol
FemBot yes! Exactly! Guys keep thinking these kind of videos are only for them
FemBot 😂👍🏾
Very informative and humorous. I watch many videos and have read many self help books to the point that they're starting to give me the same message. Dr. Aziz I can HONESTLY say that your messages are exceptionally set apart and I FINALLY feel like I'm on my way to becoming the very best version of myself. Talk about empowerment!!
Awesome! So glad you are starting to break free Ruby.
Ruby Allen So true Ruby. Thank you Dr. Azziz, this is the best self-help channel and I appreciate what you do. You are helping so many.
People seem to confuse kindness and being nice with being insecure, lack assertiveness. It's not the same, or even related. There needs to be intent behind kind gestures for it to actually be deemed as nice. If the only reason for being nice is fear of confrontation and/or guilt without any intent of care it's simply a under developed way of self-preservation from being insecure. Even if your actions could be percieved as nice from an outside perspective it still wouldn't make you nice. Cause there was no intent to be nice in the first place. To promote yourself or a certain deed as nice when it's solely self-preservation without intent of care is manipulative. That type of communication isn't in line with your feelings and what you actually think. And as the video presented, that's why this behaviour will be followed by anger and resent. As soon as this surfaces it breaks the illusion of kindness and to most people will be percieved with fear and disgust. The disgust isn't a response to your anger, (anger is a valid emotion depending on the situation), the response of fear and disgust actualises from the realisation that there wasn't any intent of kindness behind the act. Which means that they have been lied to and don't know who you really are or your real motive.
To be percieved as nice without any intent of kindness isnt manipulative or bad by default. Whatevers nice could be nice, as long there's no intent to come off as kind. The action can be nice without it reflecting on the person doing it. The person could be nice, but it not necessarily because of it.
An example:
The sun on your skin a warm spring day. The sun feels nice.
Or
The sun in the scorching Sahara on you. The sun feels painful.
The sun isn't nice, and the sun isn't malicious. But the sun also isn't shining cause its afraid of confrontation or guilt. There's no intent of being anything. It burns and it shines. We can appreciate it and we can hate it.
My recommendation would be, don't manipulate people by leading them to believe you care for them, to want them isn't the same as to care. There's nothing wrong with being kind, if you truly care for people. Just limit your kindness to people who are also kind and appreciate it. And if you simply don't care about others, then don't try to promote yourself as a person who does, a nice guy..cause it will show when your not actions don't add up with the behavior, you'll become mad while being a disappointment to others.
Thank you for sharing!
I’m learning today! So over people pushing me around.
Yes! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Who would’ve known that your parents out of all people would abuse your sincerity the most, thanks for this video
You're welcome! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
when I was little I always feared my anger to the point where I thought if I stood up to someone and they resisted me the slightest I would murder them where they stood... I deal with this till I was 28... smh.
The best video!
I can only add one thing - I can be assertive and speak my mind with close people with whom I can predict their reactions but it's super hard for me when I don't know what to expect from a stranger.
Yes! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
11:36 "Be angry and sin not. "
I can totally relate to everything that you're saying! It's like you know me or something. LOL! I even had the exact same fight with a kid when I was younger. I scratch the hell out of his face! LOL thank you so much for this video! I am finished being a nice guy all of the time.
Exactly! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
there is a difference between being nice and being agreeable or fake nice. most unconfident, "nice guys" are too agreeable and bend to the people around them to try to get people to like them. This is a fake nice guy, because they are only being nice so that others will like them not because they are genuinely nice
That's the case in many instances.
You made me realize that what I chalked up to my flexibility was fear of confrontation.
I am sick n tired being very nice :( I really wanna be less nice and more fair to myself
Check out my latest book dedicated to this subject: cli.re/books
thank you, simply just thank you, i hesitated about writing this comment but i'll just write it, I have it very bad, anxiety hits when im at college and i feel that everybody has their eyes on me, i thought about suicide very many times, One time i was scrolling through books in a book store and i found your book(Not Nice) and it was like a lightbulb in a dark room, again, thank you
I'm so glad you found me! Here are a couple of other videos you may find useful: th-cam.com/video/mm3YXvuOb-Q/w-d-xo.html and th-cam.com/video/A0tNX3x3SBo/w-d-xo.html Also, I think you'd enjoy by new book, which just released. It's a follow up to "Not Nice" called, "On My Own Side." You can learn more here: wwwOMOSBook.com
Thank you so much
You're very welcome! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Omg, when he started talking about how he slips back into it sometimes! So, this is a practice that we might have to come back to and remind ourselves how to get back into confidence mode, because shit happens and that's okay. Acknowledging what you're afraid of, therefore becoming better able to overcome it.
And learning how to scare a potential opponent if we happen to get in a fight lol!
I was in one fight before too because another girl slapped me and pulled my hair because she wanted to look like a badass in front of her friends who didn't like me because I stood up to one of them for putting gum in my hair.
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Amazing video!
What about fear of rejection? I think that plays a great role when it comes to be affraid of saying what you really feel.
I don’t like people but I’m “nice” to avoid arguments. I’m not witty and blank out while under pressure, so I avoid people at all risks. I cringe when people call me sweet because I’m bitter deep inside.
That doesn't sound like you're living your best life.
For me it’s not speaking up about my opinion (like at a dinner table); that’s fine. That’s easy. For me it’s confronting someone about something they did to me, or the way they spoke to me. That fear of direct “conflict” is what I fear. That they will perceive me as rude and we won’t have the same relationship with each other again.
Anyone else?
Thank you for this :)
You're welcome!
Great video thankyou. Very helpful
Glad it was helpful! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
this is one of the good videos in a long time something that you can use in the real life and great video great host great channel
Thank you very much! Check out my new book dedicated to this topic, it's called, "Not Nice" - socialconfidencecenter.com/not-nice
It's hard to accept it.
This is plain truth and when I look back at my life.
I see these things that no one is teaching you.
Real life bro
They should include this in school, right?
Dr Aziz you're glowing! No literally you're glowing in this video!
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Me too! I always got along with everyone including my sister. I never learned how to deal with conflict.
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Getting used to implement this in my daily life....thank you so much
You're most welcome
Sick of being the nice guy!! Grosses me out! Thanks for your videos man!
Tom Elder You bet my friend. I love what I do and can't help but share it.
I agree too many ppl mess me over
Tom Elder I fucken agree 🙌
I have been told there are times I have been too nice when I should've been mean like someone has been mean to me. That I need to develop a mean streak. Maybe I should develop a mean streak.
The opposite of being too nice is not being mean, or a jerk. Check out this recent follow up video I did: th-cam.com/video/WDm610TQAsk/w-d-xo.html
Just read "Not Nice" and its a fantastic book that I would highly recommend!
Thank you!
Annnd cue watching this video every single day until I get there 👌🏼
Do whatever it takes! Also, check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice: th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: cli.re/books
I am reading ur book not nice...its great..i mean its so genuine..every example is so relatable...as if i was going through this and i didnt knew it was a problem untill i read ur book...its great soon i will finish it...u r awesome..i feel so connected with ur book snd videos...looking forward for more like this...
Thank you so much. Check out my follow up to Not Nice here: www.OMOSBook.com
I thought the message spoke to a certain group of people, demographics. Though, couple years back I think the message was powerful. I will be confronting someone today. Ty Azizz
You're welcome. Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
I saw the first video you did on how to be less nice and it was life changing, especially where you say to maintain the eye contact a bit longer and shave a little off your smile and the thing about silence: to not feel obligated to fill the voids. That one is huge!! I wish you could do a video on the power of silence. I still tend to be Chatty Cathy and find I relinquish so much of my own personal power. If I may make one suggestion? I thought you came across much more powerful in that video than in this one because you weren't using profanity. You don't need to do that. I know that's the trend, but you are much more convincing without it. You rock!! Really appreciate your videos and all that you do. Btw, I also think it comes across as fake because I don't think it's your true nature to curse.
I agree on the cursing part. I admire Dr. Aziz but because he comes from a humble beginning just like us it doesn't flow naturally. I know because I'm the same way. I sound stupid cussing but I still do it anyway because of bad habit, but that doesn't mean I stop sounding stupid haha...but his point on how you need to use that anger towards confrontations is clear.
Sam Perez I can always tell those who are faking it (to be "in") from those who aren't. Unless it's real, don't do it. Maybe he thinks it's young and hip sounding and is trying to appeal to a certain demographic. I've been listening to him for about a year now and just recently subscribed and have noticed a marked difference. It's kind of hip to be "square." I guess I'm seeing it from a linguistic viewpoint.
+Breakthrough Moment I agree he'd sound better if he stopped the swearing. I myself plan to stop because it's hard to swear just a little and it ends up being too often.
Davina Wolf Exactly. Let the people that know how to curse do it: at least it sounds "authentic." People can always tell a "phony."
Davina Wolf s
Shit, he's right. I do feel like a kid when someone confronts me, especially when they're older than me. I hate that. And I know part of it comes from being praised as a kid for being nice and obedient in school and from going to extremes to not trigger the bullies in high school, which didn't work anyway. The worst part is when you're trying not to anger someone who doesn't like you anyway. One way I've heard is to speak your mind, but always be polite about it. It's hard for them to use anything you say against you when you're polite.
I'm glad you found this video! Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com
Aziz I'm 11 and I have no confidence for example when my step mom, my dad, sisters, or whoever talks bad about me or my mom, I just sit there keeping in the chair . But you have helped me some I just started yesterday so. I only have one person in my life and I nearly see her 5 times a year. Thank you so much Aziz.
You're welcome Carlee, keep up the great work!
to the courage to be who I am and to know that deep down I am awesome. I am working on this energy pattern.
It took me so-so- long to learn this crucial lesson. Yes, "Nice guys finish last." - end of quote. Being too nice makes you an "instant target" to an insane bully.
Thank you, brother.
You're welcome!
Thank you sooo much . This is really what I'm looking for . Keep going I really like you . You're amazing .x3
Thank you so much! I have a lot more info on this topic you might wish to check out. Here's a newer video on being less nice: th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html This topic is so important I wrote en entire book about it! You can see it here: cli.re/books
wow this video really hits home with me
This is exactly how I feel, thank you so much.
Check out a newer video of mine expanding on being less nice (more selfish): th-cam.com/video/4rPCuz2p4RQ/w-d-xo.html And, this topic is so important, I wrote an entire book dedicated to it! See it here: www.NotNiceBook.com