@@chaotenkind I agree, just the label “girl …” is demeaning and reenforcing age old, negative stereotypes. It’s a totally retrograde troupe that is self-degrading and very infantilizing. When I started hearing “girl math” I was shaking my head. What happened to STEM and encouraging women to excel in Math? I guess these people are okay with being teleported back to the 1950s 🙄😒
YES! “Girl-“ always takes something substantive (therapy, management, whatever) and makes it pink, frivolous, and over the top and just continues the trope that women just looooooooove to spend all the money on stupid crap. Where is the #boytherapy or #boyboss social media? Oh, right, they are *men* and the default in substantive matters so need no descriptor. I’m not a girl and I’m done being infantilized.
@@zarisundiata7744 I have advanced degrees in a STEM field and got into an argument with my dad over arithmetic yesterday. He did call me this morning to tell me he realized I was right and I should definitely re-face my solar panels to where I had them. 😂 silly, silly man.
Mine is basic skin care and making sure my kitchen is always clean. Knitting is also self-care for me but that's a slippery slope because I have probably overindulged more in yarn than anything else. It's all in your mind as to what makes you feel good. I would never count mopping but having clean laundry and clean sheets once a week is everything!
I was having a difficult mental day today and my first thought was "oh I wish i had a package coming to the house/on its way to make me feel better". I am proud of myself for filtering those thoughts and being able to adjust my thoughts based on information rather than feelings
may or may not have anything to do with this conversation... But feel like getting this out. I got into watching Dollar Tree(DT) haulers and DT life hacks to keep my home organized and easy crafts for decor. Then I became obsessed with shopping there and called it DT therapy. Now my home if cluttered with DT stuff and it didn't fill the hole in me like I was hoping it would. My point (I think, maybe) is that a less expensive store doesn't make the over consumption less of a problem. Edit: just deleted the part where I said I didn't finish the vid yet.
i totally agree. My stepmom and I were addicted to dollar stores in our country for a while because it was cheap but I realised that by the end of the day, I'm always decluttering these cheap decor and organisational items. Some people (like us) seem to feel more okay with overconsuming these types of items, but overconsumption is overconsumption either way. Now that a thrift store opened near us, I'm trying to be really careful going to it and buying things because there is a tendency for me to overconsume there too because it feels more ethical to consume thrift items 😬
Absolutely! You'll get a handle on it now that you really want to try. I speak as a recovering overshopper. It's good to watch videos like these as an eye-opening experience. I've learned so much about myself. A podcaster recommended the book Spent. It's not so much a book to read as a reading book, but it is more of a workbook to understand why we overshop and thus overconsume. It's been well worth it and I've found myself underlining and highlighting a lot of things so far. But approach it as a study book and read with no distractions to really learn about human behaviors and which particular ones affect you the most. It's really helpful to understand behaviors in order to change them. We're all in this together.
@@sararedgt girl I MADE a bunch of stuff, and now my house is cluttered with (if I'm honest) pretty brilliantly-made and basically free clutter. STILL not ideal.
I did that at one point and then one day I asked myself why because 90% of the time I never made the project. I have not been to DT in almost a year now and now I will be finally getting rid of all the junk I collected.
I wanted to offer a tip for people who may struggle with shopping as therapy: set physical boundaries. I love taking a bath as a form of self care, and it is easy to get caught up in shopping for bath bombs, bath salts, face masks, etc. that can make the bath more enjoyable. I now use a basket to store all my bath products, so when the basket is full, I am not allowed to buy any new products until there is room. This also encourages me to take a bath and unwind and take care of myself if I really want to try a new product.
I’ve been breaking down my maladaptive coping mechanisms and dopamine seeking coping mechanisms. Turns out what I need to do to cope after a long day is have dinner, shower, journal, and go tf to sleep lol Love the peaceful outro!!!
Pretty Please do a video on fridgescsping 😂 the practice of decorating the inside your fridge which is just another reason to spend money on junk and it’s wild! 😂
Your audio on this video is a little weird, but I'm glad you mentioned this. I think women are often targeted for trends that cause us to overconsume. Also I'm so tired of infantilizing adult women. Like you're not a "girl" you're a 20+ year old woman.
@@themagicknightress7132 it's not about calling yourself a girl or not, it's about referring to something as "this is what all girls do!" and it's something stereotypical and infantilising. individual women calling themselves girls is not the problem, it's trends making a statement on women while using the word "girl." I'm sick of it too, the women in these videos are acting like "OMG I'm just a silly little girl, I HAVE to overconsume!" when they're 25 and I know they know better. and the way this is presented to us we're supposed to agree and aspire to it.
@@themagicknightress7132 don't let people bully you into referring to yourself differently. i'm in my 30s and still think of myself as a girl for the same reasons.
Girl therapy for me is - decluttering and analysing what made me buy these things at that time. Reorganising and putting different products in my currently using stash, swatching my products once a month and realising wow I totally forgot about this shade or this product all together listening to music or podcasts and doing my craft activities. Being able to spend time with yourself in peace is true girl therapy.
Wanted to add my girl therapy: - singing to my favorite songs and dancing - doing my nails and pedicure (at home) - washing my hair - chilling with my cats - going to therapy
I just got my nails done professionally for the first time… $100! It was a birthday gift from my friends. I decided I’m never doing that again lol. I ordered a gel light and a couple gel colors to do my nails myself! Very fun and relaxing for me :)
Ive actually made progress today, I’ve been eyeing up a gorgeous jar in dunelm for 2-3 days (I’ve gone 2 days! Would of just brought it usually) I had a place in mind for it but I’ve now decided it won’t work and won’t be buying it I could cry I’m so happy I’ve been able to take this step - thank you for your content
Double sad is that people who need therapy the most are part of marginalised groups, surviving in poverty etc. Really sad to imagine them comparing their struggles with those trends. Also, this trend can be so invalidating to people struggling with mental health in general.
As someone WAY too sensitive to aesthetics I love the videos where you dissect all the things wrong with videos that use aesthetics to convince us to buy things. It sheds light on how easily influenced I am. 😅 My low-buy is going great and I think a lot of that has to do with your videos. I was feeling the “Fall itch” a couple weeks ago but I just realized I haven’t thought about buying anything at all since then.
I think people are confusing getting a dopamine hit/something *feeling* therapeutic with actual therapy/working on yourself. Edit: There's nothing wrong with treating yourself but it will NOT fix your problems!!
what girl therapy could have been is the things women do day to day in order to feel better because most of us can't afford therapy lol Ie: getting outside, journaling, tarot, showering, eating a full meal for once and what it was instead is another way to promote overconsumption to the max, which i hate lol
This! I totally understand that traditional therapy is not accessible to everyone, and even if you can afford some amount of therapy, you still have to take care of yourself between sessions, which is often longer than you'd like. Unfortunately, mental health care is expensive, so we get creative. But you know what also is expensive? Shopping as a coping mechanism! Depending on your local resources, insurance plan etc., the overconsumption could end up costing more than therapy, meanwhile not solving anything
I am a shopping addict. I used it to regulate my emotions (im adhd and ptsd). Now im bordering on a hoarder and wasted thousands of dollars. Its caused endless issues in my marriage. Shopping was the only time i wasn't around my abusive NPD father as a child. So it easily became a comfort for me.
I've been sitting here at work filled with emotion and anger. I love to shop. I just enjoy it not for anyone else but because I like it and think its fun but I am so sick of having everything at the click of a button. Now everyone posts everything they buy and show us making us want that thing too. ugh Im so fn sick of it.
I thrift shop. I love the challenge. I hate the idea of just going to a store and buying whatever is there. If i don't have to hunt for it, i don't want it.
@@proper.role.model.819 I add it to the cart and save it later for a week. Then if I still want it a week later or am still thinking about it. Then it’s ok
Historically my coping looks like buying, eating, bingeing TV/TH-cam/reading, etc. Your reminders of what self therapy should actually look like are so helpful. Thank you!!
I really appreciate how you are breaking down issues around emotional shopping as therapy. I do think there is a time and place for throwing some money (not more than you can afford) at emotions to jump start yourself if you are in a really bad place. After my husband died, I could not stand wearing any of my clothes. I had so many memories both good and bad that I couldn't stand to relieve constantly. Buying some new clothes really helped... but it is a very slippery slope. 3 years later, I'm still working on not numbing out with shopping from time to time when I get overwhelmed with grief. I think there has to be a balance between treating yourself a bit to get through hard times and getting hooked on the dopamine hits of retail therapy.
Self care can also be messy and unpleasant. Like, you have to do things you don't wanna do. I have to drink my drink that helps my stomach and take my medicine and do my assignments and clean up my apartment. I gotta send emails even though it's scary and I don't like contacting teachers and stuff because avoiding that makes things worse. It's forcing yourself to get out of bed and go to class even though it's scary too and going to the doctor. It isn't just fussing over and spoiling yourself with money, it's doing all kinds of stuff.
some “girl therapy” things i do when i get the urge to shop: -crochet or knit -sew -modify a piece of clothing i already have -go for a walk or bike ride and identify the plants/birds/trees that i see -find cool rocks, shells, or flowers outside -watch a comfort show or movie -learn a new skill -do a home workout -take a bath and listen to music or a podcast
I am a girly girl (really a girly old lady) and you don't need all of that to feel girly. Granted, I have fallen down that well many times in the past but now the abundance of all that stuff in the videos just makes me anxious now. In my mind I picture it 6 months to a year down the road where the bottles are dusty and some have been thrown away to be replaced with the latest scents because the only thing that matters is something new to encourage the viewer to buy. Buying is at the center of it all. I started a low buy year this year and also started watching a few videos like yours and it has been immensely good for me. It brought about a new self-realization of the ugly underbelly of overconsumption. Honestly, if you don't have any products at all, buy yourself some body spray at Bath & Body Works and maybe a set when they are on sale. Then allow yourself to feel sexy with a couple of inexpensive products. The cost is cheap and the smells are delightful. Your own shampoo and conditioner can make you feel sexy when your hair is clean and shining. You don't need expensive products or a ton of products. And I speak as one who has overindulged in the past at Bath & Body Works. And I have been very unsatisfied in the end with multiple purchases. There's always one I like the best and the rest were gifted to friends. What a waste of money! It takes quite a while to finish a bottle of shower gel. Lotions go much faster on those of us with dry skin. So how much do we need? Buyers remorse is real. At the end of the day it's all self-perception. Just imagine yourself as that person using products you already own. And don't forget that the real hook is that the environment is always super clean. Just cleaning and tidying and then doing your self-care will make you feel worlds better.
Thank you for making these videos. They help me recognize I have a problem and they jave actually helped so mucj with the urge to go shopping or to shop online (this one is sooooo difficult) thank you from the bottom of my heart.
My "girl theraphy " is to do a Lidl face mask on sunday while I listen to music I enjoy. I also get my agenda and prepare my week and paint my nails 😝 Preparing the week is important and it saves me from headaches 😊 I know it can look futile to do the nails, but I have to always look presentable because of my work.
I loooove shopping. But I don't want to spend money so I either list out useful stuff to buy during my shopping therapy (even groceries) or I just window shop. Retail therapy is not an excuse to overspend.
Also, I'm lucky I find all those houses that look like stocked boutiques so unattractive and uncozy I never feel like buying that stuff. That said, witchy crystal/tarot/herb spaces are so aesthetically pleasing to me I have to check myself every time I see a gun witchy, goblin core type space
my girl therapy includes, but is not limited to: - getting cozy in my sweatpants and reading a good book - getting that nap that desperately needed - kissing my dog on his little head - eating that sweet treat, because why not? - ugly crying at my therapist's office -laughing with my best friend until we get the hiccups
I feels so blessed that I got a new vid from you, Kait, and Caitlin all in the same day! Love everything you had to say and I completely agree with you. Most of these girls receive money for advertising and linking the products they carefully curate into these types of videos. IT IS NOT REAL LIFE LADIES, dont fall for it.
I cant stand when girl-math or girl-therapy is used to sort of stupify the thing. Girl-dinner was funny because it spoke to something related to convenience, and how single women sometimes eat small junk food for dinner because we are pressed for time. It was supposed to be light-hearted and empowering to let other women know that it's ok to not want to prepare an entire meal every damn night. Now they've taken it too far and it's not funny. It's disparaging and gross.
One of the reasons I enjoy watching you is that I personally found myself doing shopping therapy. I like antiques so it started by thrifting. I realized I was placing my disappointment with friendship into buying things. I told my husband this and then he started using my own words as “motivation” to go thrifting with him. I hated hearing my own description of this over and over, though I know he wasn’t doing it maliciously. So I’ve tried to modify this behavior and redirect into healthier activities. I have greatly lessened my consumption and my next goal is to declutter my house. I will never be a minimalist, but I can be more mindful in buying and consume less. And so when I found TikTok, the messages to do what I had been doing previously and didn’t actually help me were loud and clear. I like hearing someone tell me to do the same things I discovered on my own as a positive reinforcement. It helps to not feel so lonely in my choice and it helps me stay on track. Thanks so much!!
It’s actually a lot more complicated than that….how I went from casual collector to feeling I was a borderline addict. But it really has been helpful to know I’m not the only one to find social media voices problematic. It isn’t helpful or therapeutic.
Today, instead of buying things I tossed myself into figuring out making vegan yogurt in my instant pot again. Not only is it fun and will I be able to pick unique flavours and even add extra protein, I will be spending less money than when I buy yogurt at the store. Fancy and money-saving on sth I usually buy anyway. #girltherapy
Do try making mishti doi- jaggery or caramel flavoured curd from India. It is so tasty. You can even make bhappa doi - steamed flavoured yogurt. Both taste so good.
I made labneh today, which is basically yogurt strained until it's a cheese. You reminded me of how easy it is to make yogurt from scratch and I'll have to get back into that
Audio is kind of strange for me. This is not a complaint. Wanted to let you know because your audio is not usually like this. The first word or two of many sentences are pretty muffled and quiet, then the audio moves straight to your usual quality.
Same, the audio wobbles between fine to muffled randomly for me. At first I thought it was my headphones, but it also does it on speaker. The content isn’t affected, but the audio could be distracting.
Thanks for letting me know. It didn't sound like this when editing, but had a ton of problems when exporting and I think it might be related to one of those 😅 Keeping an eye out as I work on the next one
@@shawnaripari No problem. It didn't seem like something you would have done deliberately. Technology is a wonderful thing - when it does what it's supposed to. 😂
@@feralnonbinaryautistic I hear it too. Actually I've wanted to comment on a few videos that her videos in general are muffled ? Like I have to turn my volume up a lot to hear her ( but honestly maybe other TH-camrs just scream into the mic lol)
Absolutely true. I worked at S*ph*r*[redacted for legal reasons lmao] in Ontario from 2017-2020, aka the rise of the commodification of self-care and mental health in relation to beauty and personal care products. Not only was I encouraged to work this into sales tactics, it was also something promoted to the staff, who made just above minimum wage with no commission and had no healthcare benefits. It was framed in such an insulting way- "why would we need to improve our EAP resources or give part-timers (in typical retail fashion, we had two full-time and 30 part-time positions) benefits when we're giving you an employee discount on all these products you can use for self-care?" It's wild. As someone who was middle-class growing up and now bobs just below the poverty line, even promoting this garbage 'girl therapy' to middle-class people is insidious, because if you're spending your disposable income on unnecessary aesthetic products and services, that could be what hits your budget to where you can't afford therapy. They're convinced that they can't afford therapy but it's because they're buying all of these other things to cope, because it's what's being marketed to them. Hell, this is probably what their mothers did too. In the middle class, there's a pretty big stigma attached to therapy still, but not to shopping and owning aesthetic things. Think the tacky wall signs at Homesense that say stuff like "I don't need therapy, I need another lipstick/glass of wine/pair of shoes" etc. It's a form of learned helplessness (in the case of the viewers). Shopping is easy. Looking up therapists and getting on a wait list is challenging and unrewarding (dopamine-wise). Going to therapy itself is hard work and requires critical self-reflection. It's a worthy (and often well-needed) undertaking, but if you're not ready and open to the amount of work it requires, you won't get much out of it. Thank you for opening up the conversation about therapy, influencing, and shopping/spending, I found your channel yesterday and I've really been enjoying your content.
thank you so much for sharing your experience!! I am disgusted to hear that this is a tactic being used to sell products and the general attitude towards employees. Sephora has a virtual monopoly on high end makeup in Canada. You can get your makeup from Sephora or some brands from Shoppers and Miss Loblaws corp isn't a great entity either. You're also spot on about therapy too.
Love this video, it's inspired me to have my own 'girl therapy' day. I've spent the last few weeks working on my dissertation, my house needs sorting, I need some time outiside of my home office, and my mental health is in the toilet, I am in need of a therapeutic day. I was going to sit around and watch YT all day but I've just made a list for today, I might not get to everything but I thought I'd share: - put on my favourite cosy outfit - walk to and from a coffee shop date with my self to do some journaling + gratitude - clean house - take bins out - defrost homemade tomato soup for lunch - pick somethings from my avoidance list: (repan broken blush, shave knitwear, book blood donation appointment, review last months finances, plan out some writing ideas, sort out cleaning/laundry cupboard, declutter, sort out and review empties) - family group call - meal prep some veggie stew for the next few days - couch snuggling with my dogs and a book - (trying to finish 2 books Kobo says I've got around 1hrs reading time left on) - run - walk dogs (again) - bath + more reading - early night
Videos like these are what actually helps when I’m trying to get better and get on with self care jobs like cleaning, working and organising. Thanks for being a part of getting my life together 💗
Thank you so much for these videos. My teen daughter was heavily influnced by these types of videos. But now i have the deeper language to be able to talk to her about this type of content. ❤❤
hate that therapy has become synonymous with caring about your appearance, I can tell you from my experience the LAST thing I should do when I feel bad as someone in recovery who struggles with body dysmorphia is to think about my appearance. Performing femininity is not my idea of a calming therapeutic activity in any way, in fact self-care for me personally is taking a break from all that stuff to just exist comfortably. I don't understand this kind of discourse at all, I thought the consensus was that all these horribly uncomfortable 'girly' things like shavng and putting on makeup and wearing tight horrible girly clothes were things that women do because they HAVE to, in order to be accepted. Why on earth would I do those things on my own, in my own home when I feel bad?? incomprehensible.
I am not on TikTok which I realize may mean some think I’m not qualified to speak on it, but I truly think it “rots your brain.” There’s no way something that influences people so heavily, isn’t social engineering. And it’s made us “dumb.” I mostly just watch commentary videos about things on TikTok and I’m often stunned about all these “trends” and seeing people in the comments just eating it up. I don’t think TikTok shop just came about organically. I definitely think it was probably part of their plan from the beginning. It’s all very sad to me 😢
I'm endlessly frustrated by gender essentialism, but the fact that it feels like every 'girl' tiktok trend continually flattens into marketing overconsumption of beauty products, clothes, and decor. it's pathetic
I’d like to address the whole “appearing more attractive to people” concept. In my experience, when you’re happy with yourself, confident in who you are and where you are in life and how you look, other people are naturally drawn to you. ESPECIALLY; if you are a happy, up beat personality, and vivacious in your conversations. Others (especially the opposite sex) are drawn to that type of person. Someone who is happy and confident is a major draw. The other person then becomes curious as to “how, or why” you are so confident. In essence, they want some of what you have. Or they want to know how they can be happy and confident as well. This only works if it’s not fake. Fake, most people (especially wise and discerning people) can spot a mile away. You need to be happy with yourself, and genuine. Once to You come to the place where you have such confidence, then you hold more power than you realize. Because you’re not leaning on someone else, or circumstances to determine your own self worth.
Hi Shawna, your productivity with those videos is amazing! Can you maybe make a video about how you organise it all, what your work process looks like, what tools or methods you use to manage all the work etc ? :)
Fantastic video, Shawna! Like a previous comment has already stated, I’m fed up of “girl- whatever” hashtags used as an excuse to trendify something, usually material items. If I’ve got one teeny nit pick (sorry) it’s the comment about how self-care could/should be doing artwork, woodworking, reading etc. TOTALLY VALID, bird. But being an old git who’s done many crafty type things in the pursuit of self care, these hobbies I think are also targeted and can also become highly addictive- not the hobbies themselves per se, but the inclination to purchase everything to do with them. Hobbies like photography are particularly expensive and the progression of technology means more and more purchases. They might not produce the highly aesthetic tiktoks like you mention here (which is obviously a more pressing problem, aligning it with therapy), but still encourage overspending to a ridiculous point and the question of how much spare time can you possibly have to get through the haul of books, paint, fabric (usually stuff you’ve already got in surplus). Again a great video Shawna, probably one I’ll watch again as you raise some great points.❤
Isn't this in some sort of way misogynistic? That women are irresponsible with their money? Women had to go through their husband to buy stuff because back then woman were thought to not be smart with money. It's senting back feminism years. This is kind of like the whole "girl math" thing too. I'm also getting really tired of people using the word "therapy" for things that aren't true therapy. It's watering down the word essentially making it have no meaning. Also self-care is lumped in my previous point. Self-care has become SO connected with consumerism which it never really was supposed to be. True self-care is doing the hard thing, going to the gym, booking that doctors appointment even though you have anxiety doing so, calling a friend or family member, breathwork, meditation, taking your medicine/s on time everyday etc. Self-Care isn't a 26 step skincare routine. Sure sometimes self-care can be buying something but I think buying something that is an experience would be helpful especially if it's with a friend or family member since it's well known by now that having experiences with people help your mental health and over all health. A part of me wonders if me going to a charter school with uniforms helped me not be interested in fashion trends....but then again I'm also a guy 🤷🏻♂️.......however guys do have their own fashion trends. This might be a controversial take but you can find therapists here on TH-cam and infographs on Pinterest, I obviously recommend trying to compare sources and double check etc. I found an emotions wheel on Pinterest a couple years ago and it has helped me to identify my emotions and to easily communicate my emotions. There are other models for emotions as well not just the emotions wheel. Also there are books and workbooks dedicated to therapy. You might not be able to afford a therapist but we live in the modern age of technology where the info is free or very cheap...so there isn't really any excuse to *not* have *some* form of education on the topic of therapy. You can look at buying a book about therapy or a therapy workbook as ✨retail therapy✨️ but then you want to read and do the work of/in that book.
It's more like self depreciation to say these are the girl therapy things. Misogynist would be girls or men comparing girl therapy with male patterns and then concluding how low value girl therapy is. Girl therapy - spending spending and spending some more is a lack of self awareness, outing oneself and self depreciation.
There’s has to be a cap on it though. We can’t keep using this as an excuse to be irresponsible with our money. yes women fought for this BUT there has to be a point where enough is enough lol. Like cmonnnnn Some of yall are getting into DEBT trying to fit in
After watching a few of your videos I find that I have definitely been influenced to buy stuff I dont need and have to have a more curated life. I'll be working on my algorithms to get back to appreciating my life as it is. That being said, my version of girl therapy is waching old reruns of Ink Master with my husband & critiquing everything as if we have any knowledge on the subject, doing my nails at home, and snuggling with my dogs.
I’ve been feeling sad lately and I’ve been getting the itch to spend money to feel better, either on stickers I won’t use or shit on Etsy or expensive sweets/treats, but I’ve been really trying to stick to my budget each week so I compromised with myself and bought some more “unnecessary” food items like cinnamon or vanilla, bc I know I’ll use them but each week other more basic necessities have been more urgent
my hack is that i sometimes put off buying something i'm already planning to get, until i feel bad. so i don't buy something unnecessary but i still use shopping as easy self care 😅
I haven't finished the video yet, but sadly this is not new, or exclusive to TikTok. Ive heard the phrase "retail therapy" since the 90s. It might have originated earlier, but I would have been too young/not born yet. There have also been t-shirts, cards, signs, posters, etc. saying " (wine, whiskey, shopping, certain plant products, etc) is cheaper than therapy"
I owned a purse when I was about 10 with something like this written on it. You're right that the idea of retail therapy has been around a long time. It is a bit sad that this idea is still relatively popular. This was entirely part of how I got myself into trouble
oh i love this new outro! i really dont want to sound mean, but the previous outro just wasnt for me, soundwise. this, though? i can get behind this. great video btw!!!!
I dont have shopping problems but it feels good to see that i could have been and could have a lot worse situation, plus its easier than trying to solve my own problems
I'm in my late 50s and retail therapy has been around longer than you've been alive. Maybe it just seems more intense because of all the influences making videos on TikTok TH-cam Instagram etc. I remember in the 80s going to the outlets with my sister and friends and spending the day shopping for all the deals, coming home with a trunk load of bags full of crap we truly did not need.
Girl Therapy to me is getting together with my two best friends from high school over a good meal and talking about the good old days. I would rather spend time with them than shopping any day.
At home therapy is typically cooking a healthy meal, doing some form of exercise, and getting enough sleep. What I didn’t hear you mention is that while shopping therapy can feel good for some time, it’s not enough during times of stress when you see the wheels come off the rails.
It is definitely dangerous to view shopping as therapy. While buying a little treat after a difficult day can improve your mood, if you ever start to view shopping as actual therapy, you could well end up with a serious credit card debt that could bury you. It particularly bothers me that impressionable young girls see this sort of crap and try to emulate it to make themselves feel better. I have for sure gone shopping because im feeling miserable. And I can honestly say that any purchases I've ever made that I later regretted, I bought when I was feeling sad and my judgement was clouded by it.
This trend is so glaringly misogynist and sexist. I was shocked when I saw brands posting sponsored videos using the "girl therapy" meme to refer to shopping - how stereotypical and sexist can you get? How is this different from early 2000s women be shopping jokes?
Y'all, we gotta work collectively toward debunking the prevalent message that consumerism = self-care or therapy! It's so bad for us. I'm just gonna leave this list of free/low-cost activities that can boost mood and make you feel good about yourself. - take a walk outside - go sit in nature - take a hot bath or shower - make a cup of tea - journal your thoughts and feelings - clean/organize one area of your living space - doodle - cuddle your pets - call someone you love - tend to your garden or indoor plants - stretch - move your body - delete all the junk mail in your inbox - paint your nails, then just sit and breathe for as long as it takes them to dry - put some moisture into your skin and hair - prep some easy meals for the week - listen to your favorite album - do a craft or diy project
Great listening i agree its like just shop and shop and you will fit in and probably go into debt i dont get all these products that are pushed i have body washes all different brands i put one in the shower wash done on to the next thing i have to do i have said this before i had quite a bit of body washes and other things down to amost the end of body washes i dont care what brand i have used almost all them up i am older than you what is it now with brands it drives me alittle bonkers wash throw lotion on and be done thats me but each their own woman therapy to me is doing my nails or sometimes a face mask
i'm sure you have some great insight in this video but i'm three minutes in and i really can't get past the audio dipping in and out after every cut 😅hopefully just a one time thing!
I hate that “girl therapy” “girl dinner” “girl-you name it” is instantly recognized as something ludicrous and pathetic. Why are we degrading ourselves like this? It’s embarrassing! But we pride ourselves for making girls seem stupid? Cmon. We can do better than this ladies
Spending money as a form of “girl therapy” is a mockery to the people who can’t afford real therapy. Labeling it a me day or a self care day would be more apt and acceptable.
I am from a post-Soviet country, and when all the American kids had PlayStation, I didn't have a simple ball to play. I worked hard to get into the best universities, finish Ivy League, and get my life together. I see how American girls walk around with Chanel bags while I have a more significant income, but Levi is still a mentally luxurious brand for me. I disagree with you: you are simply from a privileged part of the world and will never understand. Learning that I deserve better stuff was the best therapy for me. And all your American mental health specialists don't understand my background anyway: in 10 years, I've found only one clever guy from Princeton. At the same time America is overloaded with overconsumption of everything: that's true.
this idea of 'girl therapy' never includes actual therapy or what therapy is life for disabled people :( we're poor and therapy is often times painful and exhausting and harrowing why are they calling it therapy? therapy isn't shopping it's hard
Just want to let you know that your sound is a little wonky. You go in and out of an "under water" sound. It seems to happen most at the beginning of new sentences.
i really disagree, some people struggle so much with their mental health they do not have the capacity to deal with it themselves and need professional help. Plus, in most countries you don't pay them yourself if you are insured
I'm really sorry that you have that perspective of therapy. You aren't paying someone to care about you or help you. You're paying someone to lend you their expertise in mental health and the service they provide to help you recover in some cases and cope in others. The same way you pay someone to cut your hair or, perhaps more applicable, you pay a doctor to treat your illness or for a check up. It's a service and an expertise in an area that will help you better your life. Now, understanding that your therapist isn't you're friend is important, as it is important to remember that your friends aren't you therepists.
honestly, I’m kind of over “girl”-something meaning acting stupid, irresponsible or overconsumerist. no thank you.
@@chaotenkind I agree, just the label “girl …” is demeaning and reenforcing age old, negative stereotypes. It’s a totally retrograde troupe that is self-degrading and very infantilizing. When I started hearing “girl math” I was shaking my head. What happened to STEM and encouraging women to excel in Math? I guess these people are okay with being teleported back to the 1950s 🙄😒
YES! “Girl-“ always takes something substantive (therapy, management, whatever) and makes it pink, frivolous, and over the top and just continues the trope that women just looooooooove to spend all the money on stupid crap. Where is the #boytherapy or #boyboss social media? Oh, right, they are *men* and the default in substantive matters so need no descriptor.
I’m not a girl and I’m done being infantilized.
@@zarisundiata7744 I have advanced degrees in a STEM field and got into an argument with my dad over arithmetic yesterday. He did call me this morning to tell me he realized I was right and I should definitely re-face my solar panels to where I had them. 😂 silly, silly man.
@@Shetooktothewoods 🤭
My girl therapy is doing my hair, mopping my floors and doing my laundry, diffusing some essential oils, and painting
Girl me too! Cleaning, tidying, doing my dishes, going for a walk, and painting!
Oh, and actual therapy, now that i think about it...
Mine is basic skin care and making sure my kitchen is always clean. Knitting is also self-care for me but that's a slippery slope because I have probably overindulged more in yarn than anything else. It's all in your mind as to what makes you feel good. I would never count mopping but having clean laundry and clean sheets once a week is everything!
I love this! This inspired me to paint
I light a scented candle and paint my nails.
@@tinywalnut6337 oh ofc!
I was having a difficult mental day today and my first thought was "oh I wish i had a package coming to the house/on its way to make me feel better". I am proud of myself for filtering those thoughts and being able to adjust my thoughts based on information rather than feelings
it's so awesome that you were able to catch these thoughts in real time! I'm so proud of you
@@shawnaripari thank you!!
may or may not have anything to do with this conversation... But feel like getting this out. I got into watching Dollar Tree(DT) haulers and DT life hacks to keep my home organized and easy crafts for decor. Then I became obsessed with shopping there and called it DT therapy.
Now my home if cluttered with DT stuff and it didn't fill the hole in me like I was hoping it would.
My point (I think, maybe) is that a less expensive store doesn't make the over consumption less of a problem.
Edit: just deleted the part where I said I didn't finish the vid yet.
i totally agree. My stepmom and I were addicted to dollar stores in our country for a while because it was cheap but I realised that by the end of the day, I'm always decluttering these cheap decor and organisational items. Some people (like us) seem to feel more okay with overconsuming these types of items, but overconsumption is overconsumption either way.
Now that a thrift store opened near us, I'm trying to be really careful going to it and buying things because there is a tendency for me to overconsume there too because it feels more ethical to consume thrift items 😬
Absolutely! You'll get a handle on it now that you really want to try. I speak as a recovering overshopper. It's good to watch videos like these as an eye-opening experience. I've learned so much about myself. A podcaster recommended the book Spent. It's not so much a book to read as a reading book, but it is more of a workbook to understand why we overshop and thus overconsume. It's been well worth it and I've found myself underlining and highlighting a lot of things so far. But approach it as a study book and read with no distractions to really learn about human behaviors and which particular ones affect you the most. It's really helpful to understand behaviors in order to change them. We're all in this together.
@@belindagritter1572 you're so nice, thank you!
@@sararedgt girl I MADE a bunch of stuff, and now my house is cluttered with (if I'm honest) pretty brilliantly-made and basically free clutter. STILL not ideal.
I did that at one point and then one day I asked myself why because 90% of the time I never made the project. I have not been to DT in almost a year now and now I will be finally getting rid of all the junk I collected.
I wanted to offer a tip for people who may struggle with shopping as therapy: set physical boundaries. I love taking a bath as a form of self care, and it is easy to get caught up in shopping for bath bombs, bath salts, face masks, etc. that can make the bath more enjoyable. I now use a basket to store all my bath products, so when the basket is full, I am not allowed to buy any new products until there is room. This also encourages me to take a bath and unwind and take care of myself if I really want to try a new product.
@@AJ-rr1js the container method of controlling overspending. That's such a good way to control that kind of behavior ❤️
This! I put my stash/container of extras in plain view too to remind me that I don't need to buy any more of the same stuff.
I’ve been breaking down my maladaptive coping mechanisms and dopamine seeking coping mechanisms. Turns out what I need to do to cope after a long day is have dinner, shower, journal, and go tf to sleep lol
Love the peaceful outro!!!
Pretty Please do a video on fridgescsping 😂 the practice of decorating the inside your fridge which is just another reason to spend money on junk and it’s wild! 😂
Your audio on this video is a little weird, but I'm glad you mentioned this. I think women are often targeted for trends that cause us to overconsume. Also I'm so tired of infantilizing adult women. Like you're not a "girl" you're a 20+ year old woman.
YES!!!!
True, but also I feel uncomfortable being referred to as a woman because I still feel young and inexperienced in my life
@@themagicknightress7132 it's not about calling yourself a girl or not, it's about referring to something as "this is what all girls do!" and it's something stereotypical and infantilising. individual women calling themselves girls is not the problem, it's trends making a statement on women while using the word "girl." I'm sick of it too, the women in these videos are acting like "OMG I'm just a silly little girl, I HAVE to overconsume!" when they're 25 and I know they know better. and the way this is presented to us we're supposed to agree and aspire to it.
@@themagicknightress7132 don't let people bully you into referring to yourself differently. i'm in my 30s and still think of myself as a girl for the same reasons.
i thought i was trippin over the audio
Girl therapy for me is - decluttering and analysing what made me buy these things at that time. Reorganising and putting different products in my currently using stash, swatching my products once a month and realising wow I totally forgot about this shade or this product all together listening to music or podcasts and doing my craft activities.
Being able to spend time with yourself in peace is true girl therapy.
Wanted to add my girl therapy:
- singing to my favorite songs and dancing
- doing my nails and pedicure (at home)
- washing my hair
- chilling with my cats
- going to therapy
Washing ur hair truly can have a masterful effect on mood in my experience
I just got my nails done professionally for the first time… $100! It was a birthday gift from my friends. I decided I’m never doing that again lol. I ordered a gel light and a couple gel colors to do my nails myself! Very fun and relaxing for me :)
Ive actually made progress today, I’ve been eyeing up a gorgeous jar in dunelm for 2-3 days (I’ve gone 2 days! Would of just brought it usually) I had a place in mind for it but I’ve now decided it won’t work and won’t be buying it I could cry I’m so happy I’ve been able to take this step - thank you for your content
Double sad is that people who need therapy the most are part of marginalised groups, surviving in poverty etc.
Really sad to imagine them comparing their struggles with those trends.
Also, this trend can be so invalidating to people struggling with mental health in general.
As someone WAY too sensitive to aesthetics I love the videos where you dissect all the things wrong with videos that use aesthetics to convince us to buy things. It sheds light on how easily influenced I am. 😅
My low-buy is going great and I think a lot of that has to do with your videos. I was feeling the “Fall itch” a couple weeks ago but I just realized I haven’t thought about buying anything at all since then.
I think people are confusing getting a dopamine hit/something *feeling* therapeutic with actual therapy/working on yourself. Edit: There's nothing wrong with treating yourself but it will NOT fix your problems!!
My "girl therapy" is taking naps. If I have enough time to take a nap, it always helps me get through the day. Doesn't happen often 😅
what girl therapy could have been is the things women do day to day in order to feel better because most of us can't afford therapy lol Ie: getting outside, journaling, tarot, showering, eating a full meal for once
and what it was instead is another way to promote overconsumption to the max, which i hate lol
This! I totally understand that traditional therapy is not accessible to everyone, and even if you can afford some amount of therapy, you still have to take care of yourself between sessions, which is often longer than you'd like. Unfortunately, mental health care is expensive, so we get creative. But you know what also is expensive? Shopping as a coping mechanism! Depending on your local resources, insurance plan etc., the overconsumption could end up costing more than therapy, meanwhile not solving anything
I am a shopping addict. I used it to regulate my emotions (im adhd and ptsd). Now im bordering on a hoarder and wasted thousands of dollars. Its caused endless issues in my marriage. Shopping was the only time i wasn't around my abusive NPD father as a child. So it easily became a comfort for me.
I've been sitting here at work filled with emotion and anger. I love to shop. I just enjoy it not for anyone else but because I like it and think its fun but I am so sick of having everything at the click of a button. Now everyone posts everything they buy and show us making us want that thing too. ugh Im so fn sick of it.
I thrift shop. I love the challenge. I hate the idea of just going to a store and buying whatever is there. If i don't have to hunt for it, i don't want it.
@@proper.role.model.819 I add it to the cart and save it later for a week. Then if I still want it a week later or am still thinking about it. Then it’s ok
Historically my coping looks like buying, eating, bingeing TV/TH-cam/reading, etc. Your reminders of what self therapy should actually look like are so helpful. Thank you!!
My girl therapy is journaling, drawing and my weekly therapy sessions
I really appreciate how you are breaking down issues around emotional shopping as therapy. I do think there is a time and place for throwing some money (not more than you can afford) at emotions to jump start yourself if you are in a really bad place. After my husband died, I could not stand wearing any of my clothes. I had so many memories both good and bad that I couldn't stand to relieve constantly. Buying some new clothes really helped... but it is a very slippery slope. 3 years later, I'm still working on not numbing out with shopping from time to time when I get overwhelmed with grief. I think there has to be a balance between treating yourself a bit to get through hard times and getting hooked on the dopamine hits of retail therapy.
Self care can also be messy and unpleasant. Like, you have to do things you don't wanna do. I have to drink my drink that helps my stomach and take my medicine and do my assignments and clean up my apartment. I gotta send emails even though it's scary and I don't like contacting teachers and stuff because avoiding that makes things worse. It's forcing yourself to get out of bed and go to class even though it's scary too and going to the doctor. It isn't just fussing over and spoiling yourself with money, it's doing all kinds of stuff.
My girl therapy is spending time with my dog. Nothing lowers my blood pressure or soothes me like he does ❤
some “girl therapy” things i do when i get the urge to shop:
-crochet or knit
-sew
-modify a piece of clothing i already have
-go for a walk or bike ride and identify the plants/birds/trees that i see
-find cool rocks, shells, or flowers outside
-watch a comfort show or movie
-learn a new skill
-do a home workout
-take a bath and listen to music or a podcast
Watching this to convince myself I don’t need the Ghost pink shirt to have better mental health.
I am a girly girl (really a girly old lady) and you don't need all of that to feel girly. Granted, I have fallen down that well many times in the past but now the abundance of all that stuff in the videos just makes me anxious now. In my mind I picture it 6 months to a year down the road where the bottles are dusty and some have been thrown away to be replaced with the latest scents because the only thing that matters is something new to encourage the viewer to buy. Buying is at the center of it all. I started a low buy year this year and also started watching a few videos like yours and it has been immensely good for me. It brought about a new self-realization of the ugly underbelly of overconsumption. Honestly, if you don't have any products at all, buy yourself some body spray at Bath & Body Works and maybe a set when they are on sale. Then allow yourself to feel sexy with a couple of inexpensive products. The cost is cheap and the smells are delightful. Your own shampoo and conditioner can make you feel sexy when your hair is clean and shining. You don't need expensive products or a ton of products. And I speak as one who has overindulged in the past at Bath & Body Works. And I have been very unsatisfied in the end with multiple purchases. There's always one I like the best and the rest were gifted to friends. What a waste of money! It takes quite a while to finish a bottle of shower gel. Lotions go much faster on those of us with dry skin. So how much do we need? Buyers remorse is real. At the end of the day it's all self-perception. Just imagine yourself as that person using products you already own. And don't forget that the real hook is that the environment is always super clean. Just cleaning and tidying and then doing your self-care will make you feel worlds better.
Thank you for making these videos. They help me recognize I have a problem and they jave actually helped so mucj with the urge to go shopping or to shop online (this one is sooooo difficult) thank you from the bottom of my heart.
My "girl theraphy " is to do a Lidl face mask on sunday while I listen to music I enjoy. I also get my agenda and prepare my week and paint my nails 😝
Preparing the week is important and it saves me from headaches 😊
I know it can look futile to do the nails, but I have to always look presentable because of my work.
I loooove shopping. But I don't want to spend money so I either list out useful stuff to buy during my shopping therapy (even groceries) or I just window shop. Retail therapy is not an excuse to overspend.
Also, I'm lucky I find all those houses that look like stocked boutiques so unattractive and uncozy I never feel like buying that stuff. That said, witchy crystal/tarot/herb spaces are so aesthetically pleasing to me I have to check myself every time I see a gun witchy, goblin core type space
my girl therapy includes, but is not limited to:
- getting cozy in my sweatpants and reading a good book
- getting that nap that desperately needed
- kissing my dog on his little head
- eating that sweet treat, because why not?
- ugly crying at my therapist's office
-laughing with my best friend until we get the hiccups
I feels so blessed that I got a new vid from you, Kait, and Caitlin all in the same day!
Love everything you had to say and I completely agree with you. Most of these girls receive money for advertising and linking the products they carefully curate into these types of videos. IT IS NOT REAL LIFE LADIES, dont fall for it.
I cant stand when girl-math or girl-therapy is used to sort of stupify the thing. Girl-dinner was funny because it spoke to something related to convenience, and how single women sometimes eat small junk food for dinner because we are pressed for time. It was supposed to be light-hearted and empowering to let other women know that it's ok to not want to prepare an entire meal every damn night. Now they've taken it too far and it's not funny. It's disparaging and gross.
One of the reasons I enjoy watching you is that I personally found myself doing shopping therapy. I like antiques so it started by thrifting. I realized I was placing my disappointment with friendship into buying things. I told my husband this and then he started using my own words as “motivation” to go thrifting with him. I hated hearing my own description of this over and over, though I know he wasn’t doing it maliciously. So I’ve tried to modify this behavior and redirect into healthier activities. I have greatly lessened my consumption and my next goal is to declutter my house. I will never be a minimalist, but I can be more mindful in buying and consume less. And so when I found TikTok, the messages to do what I had been doing previously and didn’t actually help me were loud and clear. I like hearing someone tell me to do the same things I discovered on my own as a positive reinforcement. It helps to not feel so lonely in my choice and it helps me stay on track. Thanks so much!!
It’s actually a lot more complicated than that….how I went from casual collector to feeling I was a borderline addict. But it really has been helpful to know I’m not the only one to find social media voices problematic. It isn’t helpful or therapeutic.
Today, instead of buying things I tossed myself into figuring out making vegan yogurt in my instant pot again. Not only is it fun and will I be able to pick unique flavours and even add extra protein, I will be spending less money than when I buy yogurt at the store. Fancy and money-saving on sth I usually buy anyway. #girltherapy
Do try making mishti doi- jaggery or caramel flavoured curd from India. It is so tasty. You can even make bhappa doi - steamed flavoured yogurt. Both taste so good.
I made labneh today, which is basically yogurt strained until it's a cheese. You reminded me of how easy it is to make yogurt from scratch and I'll have to get back into that
Audio is kind of strange for me. This is not a complaint. Wanted to let you know because your audio is not usually like this. The first word or two of many sentences are pretty muffled and quiet, then the audio moves straight to your usual quality.
Same, the audio wobbles between fine to muffled randomly for me. At first I thought it was my headphones, but it also does it on speaker.
The content isn’t affected, but the audio could be distracting.
Good to know it’s not just me - I wonder if the audio got garbled during upload.
Thanks for letting me know. It didn't sound like this when editing, but had a ton of problems when exporting and I think it might be related to one of those 😅 Keeping an eye out as I work on the next one
@@shawnaripari No problem. It didn't seem like something you would have done deliberately. Technology is a wonderful thing - when it does what it's supposed to. 😂
@@feralnonbinaryautistic I hear it too. Actually I've wanted to comment on a few videos that her videos in general are muffled ? Like I have to turn my volume up a lot to hear her ( but honestly maybe other TH-camrs just scream into the mic lol)
Is anyone else’s sound quality for this video a little off/ warbled or is that just me
Yeah mine sounds a bit off, too
Yep
@@Magicwithizz mine is definitely off and I’ve got it on better audio settings… could be a mic issue or camera setting issue.
Absolutely true. I worked at S*ph*r*[redacted for legal reasons lmao] in Ontario from 2017-2020, aka the rise of the commodification of self-care and mental health in relation to beauty and personal care products. Not only was I encouraged to work this into sales tactics, it was also something promoted to the staff, who made just above minimum wage with no commission and had no healthcare benefits. It was framed in such an insulting way- "why would we need to improve our EAP resources or give part-timers (in typical retail fashion, we had two full-time and 30 part-time positions) benefits when we're giving you an employee discount on all these products you can use for self-care?"
It's wild. As someone who was middle-class growing up and now bobs just below the poverty line, even promoting this garbage 'girl therapy' to middle-class people is insidious, because if you're spending your disposable income on unnecessary aesthetic products and services, that could be what hits your budget to where you can't afford therapy. They're convinced that they can't afford therapy but it's because they're buying all of these other things to cope, because it's what's being marketed to them.
Hell, this is probably what their mothers did too. In the middle class, there's a pretty big stigma attached to therapy still, but not to shopping and owning aesthetic things. Think the tacky wall signs at Homesense that say stuff like "I don't need therapy, I need another lipstick/glass of wine/pair of shoes" etc. It's a form of learned helplessness (in the case of the viewers). Shopping is easy. Looking up therapists and getting on a wait list is challenging and unrewarding (dopamine-wise).
Going to therapy itself is hard work and requires critical self-reflection. It's a worthy (and often well-needed) undertaking, but if you're not ready and open to the amount of work it requires, you won't get much out of it.
Thank you for opening up the conversation about therapy, influencing, and shopping/spending, I found your channel yesterday and I've really been enjoying your content.
thank you so much for sharing your experience!! I am disgusted to hear that this is a tactic being used to sell products and the general attitude towards employees. Sephora has a virtual monopoly on high end makeup in Canada. You can get your makeup from Sephora or some brands from Shoppers and Miss Loblaws corp isn't a great entity either. You're also spot on about therapy too.
Love this video, it's inspired me to have my own 'girl therapy' day. I've spent the last few weeks working on my dissertation, my house needs sorting, I need some time outiside of my home office, and my mental health is in the toilet, I am in need of a therapeutic day. I was going to sit around and watch YT all day but I've just made a list for today, I might not get to everything but I thought I'd share:
- put on my favourite cosy outfit
- walk to and from a coffee shop date with my self to do some journaling + gratitude
- clean house
- take bins out
- defrost homemade tomato soup for lunch
- pick somethings from my avoidance list: (repan broken blush, shave knitwear, book blood donation appointment, review last months finances, plan out some writing ideas, sort out cleaning/laundry cupboard, declutter, sort out and review empties)
- family group call
- meal prep some veggie stew for the next few days
- couch snuggling with my dogs and a book - (trying to finish 2 books Kobo says I've got around 1hrs reading time left on)
- run
- walk dogs (again)
- bath + more reading
- early night
Videos like these are what actually helps when I’m trying to get better and get on with self care jobs like cleaning, working and organising. Thanks for being a part of getting my life together 💗
Thank you so much for these videos. My teen daughter was heavily influnced by these types of videos. But now i have the deeper language to be able to talk to her about this type of content. ❤❤
Shopping as therapy seems counterintuitive. I feel like the peace of financial padding is more beneficial than dopamine.
It's me ✋️I needed to shower.
hate that therapy has become synonymous with caring about your appearance, I can tell you from my experience the LAST thing I should do when I feel bad as someone in recovery who struggles with body dysmorphia is to think about my appearance.
Performing femininity is not my idea of a calming therapeutic activity in any way, in fact self-care for me personally is taking a break from all that stuff to just exist comfortably. I don't understand this kind of discourse at all, I thought the consensus was that all these horribly uncomfortable 'girly' things like shavng and putting on makeup and wearing tight horrible girly clothes were things that women do because they HAVE to, in order to be accepted. Why on earth would I do those things on my own, in my own home when I feel bad?? incomprehensible.
I am not on TikTok which I realize may mean some think I’m not qualified to speak on it, but I truly think it “rots your brain.” There’s no way something that influences people so heavily, isn’t social engineering. And it’s made us “dumb.” I mostly just watch commentary videos about things on TikTok and I’m often stunned about all these “trends” and seeing people in the comments just eating it up. I don’t think TikTok shop just came about organically. I definitely think it was probably part of their plan from the beginning. It’s all very sad to me 😢
I'm endlessly frustrated by gender essentialism, but the fact that it feels like every 'girl' tiktok trend continually flattens into marketing overconsumption of beauty products, clothes, and decor. it's pathetic
I didn't get into the gender essentialism of this so thanks for pointing it out
I’d like to address the whole “appearing more attractive to people” concept. In my experience, when you’re happy with yourself, confident in who you are and where you are in life and how you look, other people are naturally drawn to you. ESPECIALLY; if you are a happy, up beat personality, and vivacious in your conversations. Others (especially the opposite sex) are drawn to that type of person. Someone who is happy and confident is a major draw. The other person then becomes curious as to “how, or why” you are so confident. In essence, they want some of what you have. Or they want to know how they can be happy and confident as well. This only works if it’s not fake. Fake, most people (especially wise and discerning people) can spot a mile away. You need to be happy with yourself, and genuine. Once to
You come to the place where you have such confidence, then you hold more power than you realize. Because you’re not leaning on someone else, or circumstances to determine your own self worth.
Hi Shawna, your productivity with those videos is amazing! Can you maybe make a video about how you organise it all, what your work process looks like, what tools or methods you use to manage all the work etc ? :)
Fantastic video, Shawna! Like a previous comment has already stated, I’m fed up of “girl- whatever” hashtags used as an excuse to trendify something, usually material items. If I’ve got one teeny nit pick (sorry) it’s the comment about how self-care could/should be doing artwork, woodworking, reading etc. TOTALLY VALID, bird. But being an old git who’s done many crafty type things in the pursuit of self care, these hobbies I think are also targeted and can also become highly addictive- not the hobbies themselves per se, but the inclination to purchase everything to do with them. Hobbies like photography are particularly expensive and the progression of technology means more and more purchases. They might not produce the highly aesthetic tiktoks like you mention here (which is obviously a more pressing problem, aligning it with therapy), but still encourage overspending to a ridiculous point and the question of how much spare time can you possibly have to get through the haul of books, paint, fabric (usually stuff you’ve already got in surplus). Again a great video Shawna, probably one I’ll watch again as you raise some great points.❤
I'm totally disgusted by this type of contents. There are so many risks and you don't acquire skills, or improve your lifestyle.
Thanks for the video!
I love the new autumn video at the end! ❤
Isn't this in some sort of way misogynistic? That women are irresponsible with their money? Women had to go through their husband to buy stuff because back then woman were thought to not be smart with money. It's senting back feminism years. This is kind of like the whole "girl math" thing too.
I'm also getting really tired of people using the word "therapy" for things that aren't true therapy. It's watering down the word essentially making it have no meaning. Also self-care is lumped in my previous point. Self-care has become SO connected with consumerism which it never really was supposed to be. True self-care is doing the hard thing, going to the gym, booking that doctors appointment even though you have anxiety doing so, calling a friend or family member, breathwork, meditation, taking your medicine/s on time everyday etc. Self-Care isn't a 26 step skincare routine. Sure sometimes self-care can be buying something but I think buying something that is an experience would be helpful especially if it's with a friend or family member since it's well known by now that having experiences with people help your mental health and over all health.
A part of me wonders if me going to a charter school with uniforms helped me not be interested in fashion trends....but then again I'm also a guy 🤷🏻♂️.......however guys do have their own fashion trends.
This might be a controversial take but you can find therapists here on TH-cam and infographs on Pinterest, I obviously recommend trying to compare sources and double check etc. I found an emotions wheel on Pinterest a couple years ago and it has helped me to identify my emotions and to easily communicate my emotions. There are other models for emotions as well not just the emotions wheel. Also there are books and workbooks dedicated to therapy. You might not be able to afford a therapist but we live in the modern age of technology where the info is free or very cheap...so there isn't really any excuse to *not* have *some* form of education on the topic of therapy. You can look at buying a book about therapy or a therapy workbook as ✨retail therapy✨️ but then you want to read and do the work of/in that book.
It's more like self depreciation to say these are the girl therapy things.
Misogynist would be girls or men comparing girl therapy with male patterns and then concluding how low value girl therapy is.
Girl therapy - spending spending and spending some more is a lack of self awareness, outing oneself and self depreciation.
There’s has to be a cap on it though. We can’t keep using this as an excuse to be irresponsible with our money. yes women fought for this BUT there has to be a point where enough is enough lol. Like cmonnnnn Some of yall are getting into DEBT trying to fit in
Your videos have helped me alot. Thank you
After watching a few of your videos I find that I have definitely been influenced to buy stuff I dont need and have to have a more curated life. I'll be working on my algorithms to get back to appreciating my life as it is. That being said, my version of girl therapy is waching old reruns of Ink Master with my husband & critiquing everything as if we have any knowledge on the subject, doing my nails at home, and snuggling with my dogs.
When did the word aesthetic become an adjective?
I’ve been feeling sad lately and I’ve been getting the itch to spend money to feel better, either on stickers I won’t use or shit on Etsy or expensive sweets/treats, but I’ve been really trying to stick to my budget each week so I compromised with myself and bought some more “unnecessary” food items like cinnamon or vanilla, bc I know I’ll use them but each week other more basic necessities have been more urgent
my hack is that i sometimes put off buying something i'm already planning to get, until i feel bad. so i don't buy something unnecessary but i still use shopping as easy self care 😅
LOVE the new rain outro!
I do get urges to shop when I feel particularly stressed, sad or overwhelmed.
I haven't finished the video yet, but sadly this is not new, or exclusive to TikTok. Ive heard the phrase "retail therapy" since the 90s. It might have originated earlier, but I would have been too young/not born yet. There have also been t-shirts, cards, signs, posters, etc. saying " (wine, whiskey, shopping, certain plant products, etc) is cheaper than therapy"
I owned a purse when I was about 10 with something like this written on it. You're right that the idea of retail therapy has been around a long time. It is a bit sad that this idea is still relatively popular. This was entirely part of how I got myself into trouble
oh i love this new outro! i really dont want to sound mean, but the previous outro just wasnt for me, soundwise. this, though? i can get behind this. great video btw!!!!
Love this message 💪🏻💖👏🏻
Hey maybe check your audio I feel like it gets muffled a few times
Might just be me tho
Great vid as always tho
“Girl” anything is offensive.
It’s not offensive.
I dont have shopping problems but it feels good to see that i could have been and could have a lot worse situation, plus its easier than trying to solve my own problems
I think your sound settings are broken. On my headphones you get louder abd softer. Or maybe its my settings. ❤
I work nights, self care is sleep above everything else. Also a daily 3 mile walk, prayer and reading my Bible, reading a good book.
I'm in my late 50s and retail therapy has been around longer than you've been alive. Maybe it just seems more intense because of all the influences making videos on TikTok TH-cam Instagram etc. I remember in the 80s going to the outlets with my sister and friends and spending the day shopping for all the deals, coming home with a trunk load of bags full of crap we truly did not need.
Always enjoy your mindful content.
Audio is a quite muffled in this video though, hard for me to understand you.
Girl Therapy to me is getting together with my two best friends from high school over a good meal and talking about the good old days. I would rather spend time with them than shopping any day.
At home therapy is typically cooking a healthy meal, doing some form of exercise, and getting enough sleep.
What I didn’t hear you mention is that while shopping therapy can feel good for some time, it’s not enough during times of stress when you see the wheels come off the rails.
Also, they have to sell. That’s the whole point. Keep that in mind.
It is definitely dangerous to view shopping as therapy. While buying a little treat after a difficult day can improve your mood, if you ever start to view shopping as actual therapy, you could well end up with a serious credit card debt that could bury you. It particularly bothers me that impressionable young girls see this sort of crap and try to emulate it to make themselves feel better. I have for sure gone shopping because im feeling miserable. And I can honestly say that any purchases I've ever made that I later regretted, I bought when I was feeling sad and my judgement was clouded by it.
my girl therapy is gaming lol
Girl therapy: going to the beach, nourish my body with homemade food,.
This trend is so glaringly misogynist and sexist. I was shocked when I saw brands posting sponsored videos using the "girl therapy" meme to refer to shopping - how stereotypical and sexist can you get? How is this different from early 2000s women be shopping jokes?
Y'all, we gotta work collectively toward debunking the prevalent message that consumerism = self-care or therapy! It's so bad for us.
I'm just gonna leave this list of free/low-cost activities that can boost mood and make you feel good about yourself.
- take a walk outside
- go sit in nature
- take a hot bath or shower
- make a cup of tea
- journal your thoughts and feelings
- clean/organize one area of your living space
- doodle
- cuddle your pets
- call someone you love
- tend to your garden or indoor plants
- stretch
- move your body
- delete all the junk mail in your inbox
- paint your nails, then just sit and breathe for as long as it takes them to dry
- put some moisture into your skin and hair
- prep some easy meals for the week
- listen to your favorite album
- do a craft or diy project
For me, owing money is stress not therapy.
Great listening i agree its like just shop and shop and you will fit in and probably go into debt i dont get all these products that are pushed i have body washes all different brands i put one in the shower wash done on to the next thing i have to do i have said this before i had quite a bit of body washes and other things down to amost the end of body washes i dont care what brand i have used almost all them up i am older than you what is it now with brands it drives me alittle bonkers wash throw lotion on and be done thats me but each their own woman therapy to me is doing my nails or sometimes a face mask
Excelente Video Thanks for this content ❤
The audio on this video is weird
"Girl therapy" sounds really misogynistic.
i'm sure you have some great insight in this video but i'm three minutes in and i really can't get past the audio dipping in and out after every cut 😅hopefully just a one time thing!
Hi, I think something is wrong with your audio. It is rather distracting. Can you check what went wrong to be aware for your next video?
I hate that “girl therapy” “girl dinner” “girl-you name it” is instantly recognized as something ludicrous and pathetic. Why are we degrading ourselves like this? It’s embarrassing! But we pride ourselves for making girls seem stupid? Cmon. We can do better than this ladies
girl therapy should be a relaxing shower, take a walk, journal, and do art, not that bullsh*t
Spending money as a form of “girl therapy” is a mockery to the people who can’t afford real therapy. Labeling it a me day or a self care day would be more apt and acceptable.
I am from a post-Soviet country, and when all the American kids had PlayStation, I didn't have a simple ball to play. I worked hard to get into the best universities, finish Ivy League, and get my life together. I see how American girls walk around with Chanel bags while I have a more significant income, but Levi is still a mentally luxurious brand for me. I disagree with you: you are simply from a privileged part of the world and will never understand. Learning that I deserve better stuff was the best therapy for me. And all your American mental health specialists don't understand my background anyway: in 10 years, I've found only one clever guy from Princeton. At the same time America is overloaded with overconsumption of everything: that's true.
The audio was distracting me😢
this idea of 'girl therapy' never includes actual therapy or what therapy is life for disabled people :( we're poor and therapy is often times painful and exhausting and harrowing why are they calling it therapy? therapy isn't shopping it's hard
Shawna: “… look at this stuff…”
Me: Isn’t it neat 🎶
No, not neat. Shopping as “therapy” is such a slippery slope.
Just want to let you know that your sound is a little wonky. You go in and out of an "under water" sound. It seems to happen most at the beginning of new sentences.
I hate therapy itself because I really don’t like the premise of paying someone to help me or care about me, but I do see what you mean.
i really disagree, some people struggle so much with their mental health they do not have the capacity to deal with it themselves and need professional help. Plus, in most countries you don't pay them yourself if you are insured
I'm really sorry that you have that perspective of therapy. You aren't paying someone to care about you or help you. You're paying someone to lend you their expertise in mental health and the service they provide to help you recover in some cases and cope in others. The same way you pay someone to cut your hair or, perhaps more applicable, you pay a doctor to treat your illness or for a check up. It's a service and an expertise in an area that will help you better your life. Now, understanding that your therapist isn't you're friend is important, as it is important to remember that your friends aren't you therepists.
i don’t think it can rlly be improved unless you have free healthcare yk because a good therapist should be paid
This is a horrible take and proof you need it. Professionals deserve money for their time and effort.
This is a sad thing to read. Imagine saying that to a hairstylist, makeup artist, chef or so on.
I wouldn’t call shopping my therapy, but going to the thrift store to find treasures does help me destress🫣